How to accustom a child to kindergarten: a practical guide from a psychologist for caring parents

The grown-up child enjoys communicating with peers, and parents strive to send active children to kindergarten as soon as possible. But sometimes haste turns into problems, and the child’s adaptation does not go the way mom and dad would like.

Always cheerful and active, the baby suddenly becomes irritable, refuses to go to kindergarten, and cries. Of course, such behavior cannot but upset. How should parents behave in this situation? How to speed up and simplify adaptation to the new living conditions and communication of the baby? And how to teach a child to go to kindergarten without crying? These questions were answered by candidate of psychological sciences, child psychologist Olga Arkhipova .

What is child adaptation

Adaptation is the body's adaptation to a new environment.
We are also talking about the child’s adaptation to kindergarten. At first, such an institution for any child is an unknown and alien space, with new people and relationships. The process of addiction requires serious mental costs, often accompanied by tension and even exhaustion of physical and mental strength.

Some manifestations of the child’s mood during the days of adaptation cause anxiety in parents, causing them to doubt that he will be able to go through this period without a serious nervous breakdown. It is important to remember: behavioral features that often worry parents are often typical when adapting to kindergarten.

Almost all mothers, faced with changes in the behavior of their little daughter or son, come to the conclusion that kindergarten is “not for us.” It seems to parents that other members of the group did not experience similar symptoms, or that they were not so pronounced. This is wrong. Adaptation is characterized by various negative manifestations that occur at all levels. Once in an unusual environment, a baby almost always experiences nervous stress, which is especially pronounced in the first days. Let's take a closer look at the most common symptoms of this difficult period and find out how long it lasts.

Adaptation of a child to kindergarten

It is very difficult for children of any age to start attending kindergarten. Each of them goes through a period of adaptation to kindergarten. The child's whole life changes dramatically. Changes literally burst into the usual, established life in the family: a clear daily routine, the absence of relatives and friends, the constant presence of peers, the need to listen and obey unfamiliar adults, the amount of personal attention sharply decreases.

The child needs time to adapt to this new life in kindergarten.

Adaptation is the adaptation or habituation of the body to a new environment. For a child, kindergarten is undoubtedly a still unknown space, with new surroundings and relationships. This process requires a lot of mental energy and often takes place with tension, or even overstrain of the mental and physical forces of the body.

Many features of a child’s behavior during the period of adaptation to kindergarten frighten parents so much that they wonder: will the child be able to adapt at all, will this “horror” ever end? We can say with confidence: those behavioral features that are very worrying for parents are basically typical for all children who are in the process of adapting to kindergarten. During this period, almost all mothers think that it is their child who is “non-kindergarten,” and the rest of the kids supposedly behave and feel better. But that's not true. Adaptation is usually difficult with a lot of negative changes in the child’s body. These shifts occur at all levels, in all systems. In a new environment, the baby is constantly under strong neuropsychic tension, stress, which does not stop for a minute, especially in the first days. Here are the common changes that are observed in a child during the period of adaptation to kindergarten.

I. Portrait of a child entering kindergarten.

1.Child's emotions.

In the first days of being in kindergarten, almost every child has strongly expressed negative emotions: whining, “crying for the inhibition” of children, as if there were no emotions at all.

In the first days, the child experiences few positive emotions. He is very upset about parting with his mother and his familiar environment. If the baby smiles, it is mainly a reaction to novelty or to a bright stimulus (an unusual toy, “animated” by an adult, a fun game). Be patient! Negative emotions will certainly be replaced by positive ones, indicating the end of the adaptation period. Some children will cry for a long time when parting, and this does not mean that adaptation is going badly. If the child calms down for some time after the mother leaves, then everything is in order.

2.Contacts with peers and teacher.

In the first days, the child's social activity decreases. Even sociable, optimistic children become tense, withdrawn, restless, and uncommunicative. It must be remembered that children 2-3 years old do not play together, but next to each other. They have not yet developed story-based play that involves multiple children. Therefore, do not be upset if your child does not interact with other kids yet.

The fact that adaptation is proceeding successfully can be judged by the fact that the baby interacts more and more willingly with the teacher in the group, responds to his requests, and follows routine moments.

3. Cognitive activity.

At first, cognitive activity may be reduced or even absent due to stress reactions. Sometimes the child is not even interested in toys. He doesn't dare to play. Many children need to sit on the sidelines to orient themselves to their surroundings. In the process of successful adaptation, the child gradually begins to master the space of the group, his “forays” into toys will become more frequent and bold, the child will begin to ask cognitive questions to the teacher.

4. Skills.

Under the influence of new external influences, during the first period of adaptation to kindergarten, a child may “lose” self-service skills (the ability to use a spoon, handkerchief, potty, etc.) for a short time.

The success of adaptation is determined by the fact that the child not only “remembers” what was forgotten, but you, with surprise and joy, note the new achievements that he learned in the garden.

5. Features of speech.

Some children's vocabulary becomes smaller or “lighter” words and sentences appear. Don't worry! Speech will be restored and enriched when adaptation is completed.

6. Motor activity.

Some children become “inhibited”, and some become uncontrollably active. It depends on the child's temperament. Activities at home are also changing. A good sign of successful adaptation is the restoration of normal activity at home, and then in kindergarten.

7. Sleep.

If you leave your child in the garden for a nap, then be prepared that in the first days he will have difficulty falling asleep. Sometimes children jump up, or, having fallen asleep, soon wake up crying. At home, you may also experience restless sleep during the day and at night. By the time adaptation is completed, sleep both at home and in the garden will certainly return to normal.

8. Appetite.

At first, the child may have a decreased appetite. This is due to unusual food (both the appearance and taste are unusual), as well as stress reactions - the baby simply does not want to eat. A good sign is the restoration of appetite. The baby may not eat everything on the plate, but he begins to eat.

9. Health.

Stress causes the child to become weaker, the body’s resistance to infections decreases, and he may get sick in the first month (or even earlier) of attending kindergarten. It often happens that the cause of persistent colds and chronic acute respiratory infections is not medical at all, but psychological. One of the well-known psychological defense mechanisms is called flight into illness. Do not think that the child is catching a cold on purpose, dreaming of staying at home. He experiences this desire implicitly, unconsciously, without realizing it. And the body obeys this hidden tendency: it begins to show amazing weakness, easily falls under any negative influence, and refuses to resist the cold. Any measures to harden and strengthen the body are certainly justified and advisable. But no less important are parental efforts to restore the child’s spiritual harmony. Often, having achieved emotional balance, it is possible to overcome the tendency to illness.

Of course, many mothers expect that the negative aspects of the baby’s behavior and reaction will go away in the very first days. And they get upset or even angry when this doesn’t happen. Usually adaptation takes place in 3-4 weeks, but it happens that it lasts for 3-4 months.

II. Why is he acting this way? Or what causes stress?

1. To a huge extent, stress provokes separation from the mother. Of course, the baby is inextricably linked with you and the mother is the main thing he had, or rather, has and will have. And suddenly his beloved and most beautiful mother in the world abandoned him to his fate among a terrible new situation and children previously unknown to him, who did not care about him.

2. In order to survive in this new environment, he needs to behave differently here than at home. But he does not know this new form of behavior and suffers from it, afraid of doing something wrong. And fear maintains stress, and a vicious circle is formed, which, unlike all other circles, has an exact beginning - separation from the mother.

3. Typically, boys 3-5 years old are more vulnerable in terms of adaptation to kindergarten than girls, since during this period they are more attached to their mother and react more painfully to separation from her.

4. The crisis of three years, which can overlap the period of adaptation of the child, sometimes complicates its passage.

III. For some it is easy and for others it is difficult.

Some children adapt to kindergarten relatively easily, and their negative aspects go away within 1-3 weeks. For others it is somewhat more difficult, and adaptation then lasts about 2 months, after which their anxiety decreases significantly. If the child has not adapted after 3 months, such adaptation is considered difficult and requires the help of a psychologist.

Who is easier to adapt?

· Children whose parents prepared them for visiting the kindergarten in advance, several months before this event . This preparation could consist of parents reading fairy tales about visiting kindergarten, playing “kindergarten” with toys, walking near the kindergarten or on its territory, telling the child that he would have to go there. If the parents took the opportunity and introduced the child to the teachers in advance, then it will be much easier for the child (especially if he did not just see this “aunt” for a few minutes, but was able to communicate with her and go to the group while the mother was nearby).

· Children who are physically healthy, i.e. having neither chronic diseases nor a predisposition to frequent colds. During the adaptation period, all the body’s forces are tense, and when you can direct them to get used to something new without also spending it on fighting the disease, this is a good “start.”

· Children with independence skills . This includes dressing (at least to a small extent), potty etiquette, and eating independently. If a child knows how to do all this, he does not waste energy on urgently learning this, but uses already developed skills.

· Children whose regime is close to the kindergarten regime. A month before visiting the kindergarten, parents should begin to adapt the child’s routine to what awaits him in the kindergarten. Check the day's schedule in advance at the garden. In order to get up easily in the morning, you need to go to bed no later than 20:30.

It is difficult for children who do not meet one or more conditions (the more, the more difficult it will be). It is especially difficult for children who perceive going to kindergarten as a surprise due to the fact that their parents did not talk about it. There are situations when a visit to kindergarten begins unexpectedly for objective reasons. And, oddly enough, it is often difficult for those children whose mothers (or other relatives) work in the garden.

IV.How can parents help?

Every parent, seeing how difficult it is for the child, wants to help him adapt faster. And that is great. The set of measures is to create a gentle environment at home that is gentle on the baby’s nervous system, which is already working at full capacity.

· In the presence of your child, always speak positively about the teachers and the kindergarten. Even if you didn't like something. If a child has to go to this kindergarten and this group, it will be easier for him to do this, respecting the teachers. Talk about this not only with the baby. Tell someone in his presence what a good kindergarten the child now goes to and what wonderful teachers work there.

· On weekends, do not change your child’s daily routine. You can let him sleep a little longer, but you shouldn’t let him “sleep off” for too long, which significantly shifts the daily routine. If your child needs to “sleep off,” it means that your sleep schedule is not organized correctly, and perhaps your baby goes to bed too late in the evening.

· Do not overload the baby during the adaptation period. There are so many changes in his life now, and he doesn’t need any extra stress on his nervous system.

· Try to ensure that your baby is surrounded by a calm and conflict-free atmosphere at home. Hug your baby more often, pat him on the head, say kind words. Celebrate his successes and improvements in behavior. Praise more than scold. He really needs your support now!

· Be more tolerant of whims . They arise due to overload of the nervous system. Hug your child, help him calm down and switch him to another activity (game).

· Having previously agreed with the teacher, give a small soft toy to the garden . Babies of this age may need a toy - a substitute for their mother. By holding something soft to yourself, which is a part of home, the child will be much calmer.

· Call for help from a fairy tale or game . Come up with your own fairy tale about how the little bear went to kindergarten for the first time, and how at first he was uncomfortable and a little scared, and how then he made friends with the children and teachers. “Play out” this fairy tale with toys. In both the fairy tale and the game, the key moment is the mother’s return for the child, so under no circumstances interrupt the story until this moment comes. Actually, all this is started so that the baby understands; Mom will definitely come back for him.

V. Calm morning.

Parents and children are most upset when they separate. How should you organize your morning so that both mother and baby have a calm day? The main rule is this: if the mother is calm, the baby is calm . He “reads” your insecurity and gets even more upset.

· Talk to your baby calmly and confidently both at home and in the garden . Show friendly persistence when waking up, getting dressed, and undressing in the garden. Talk to your child in a not too loud but confident voice, verbalizing everything you do. Sometimes a good helper when waking up and getting ready is the same toy that the child takes with him to kindergarten. Seeing that the bunny “so wants to go to the garden,” the baby will become infected with his confidence and good mood.

· Let the child be taken away by the parent or relative with whom it is easier for him to part with. Educators have long noticed that a child breaks up with one of the parents relatively calmly, but does not let go of the other, continuing to worry after his departure.

· Be sure to say that you will come and indicate when (after a walk, or after lunch, or after he sleeps and eats). It’s easier for a baby to know that mom will come after some event than to wait for her every minute. Don't be late, keep your promises!

· Come up with your own farewell ritual (for example, kiss, wave, say “bye”). After that, immediately leave: confidently and without looking back. The longer you stagnate in indecision, the more the baby worries.

VI. Typical mistakes of parents

Unfortunately, sometimes parents make serious mistakes that make it difficult for their child to adapt to kindergarten. What you should never do :

· You cannot punish or get angry with your baby because he cries when parting or at home when the need to go to kindergarten is mentioned! Remember, he has the right to such a reaction. A stern reminder that “he promised not to cry” is also absolutely ineffective. Children of this age do not yet know how to “keep their word.” It’s better to say again that you love him very much and will definitely come for him.

· You should avoid talking about the baby’s tears with other family members in his presence. It seems that the son or daughter is still very young and does not understand adult conversations. But children, on a subtle emotional level, feel their mother’s concern, and this further intensifies the child’s anxiety.

· You can’t scare people with kindergarten (“If you behave badly, you’ll go to kindergarten again!”). A place that is feared will never be loved or safe.

· You cannot speak badly about the teachers and the kindergarten in front of the child . This makes the child think that the garden is a bad place and he is surrounded by bad people. Then the anxiety will not go away at all.

· You cannot deceive the child by saying that you will come very soon if the baby, for example, has to stay in kindergarten for half a day or even a full day. Let him know better that his mother will not come soon than to wait for her all day and may lose trust in the person closest to him.

VII. Parents also need help!

When it comes to adapting a child to kindergarten, people often talk about how difficult it is for the baby and what help he needs. But “behind the scenes” there are almost always parents who are in no less stress and worry! They also desperately need help and almost never receive it.

Often mothers and fathers do not understand what is happening to them and try to ignore their emotions. But you shouldn't do this. You are entitled to all your feelings, and in this case they are natural. Entering kindergarten is the moment when a child separates from his parents, and this is a test for everyone. Mom and dad’s heart also “breaks” when they see how the baby is worried, but at first he may cry only at the mere mention that tomorrow he will have to go to the kindergarten.

To help yourself, you need:

· be sure that visiting the garden is really necessary for the family . For example, when a mother simply needs to work in order to make her contribution (sometimes the only one) to the family income. Sometimes mothers send their child to kindergarten earlier than they go to work to help him adapt, picking him up early if necessary. The less doubt there is about the advisability of visiting the kindergarten, the more confidence that the child will sooner or later succeed. And the baby, reacting precisely to this confident position, adapts much faster.

· believe that the baby is in fact not a “weak” creature at all. The child’s adaptation system is strong enough to withstand this test, even if the tears flow like a river. It’s paradoxical, but true: it’s good that the child is crying! Believe me, he has real grief, because he is parting with the most dear person - his mother! He doesn’t yet know that you will definitely come; a routine has not yet been established. But you know what is happening, and you are sure that you will pick up the baby from the kindergarten. It’s worse when a child is so caught in the grip of stress that he can’t cry. Crying is an assistant to the nervous system; it prevents it from being overloaded. Therefore, do not be afraid of the child’s crying, do not be angry with the child for “whining.” Of course, children's tears make you worry, but you will definitely get through it too.

· use help. There is a psychologist in the kindergarten . This specialist offers help not only (and not so much!) to the child, but to his parents, talking about how adaptation is going and assuring that people who are attentive to children really work in the kindergarten. Sometimes parents really need to know that the child quickly calms down after she leaves, and such information is given by the psychologist who monitors the children in the process of adaptation, and by educators.

· gain support. There are parents around you who are experiencing the same feelings during this period. Support each other, find out what “know-how” each of you has in helping your baby. Celebrate and enjoy the successes of your children and yourself together.

Author Nikolaeva E.I.

https://nsportal.ru

Adaptation period

There are several degrees of child adaptation in kindergarten.

Mild degree

Usually lasts up to a week. This is a fairly short period, characterized by the baby’s poor sleep, loss of appetite, and reluctance to play with other babies. Gradually everything returns to normal, complete adaptation to the new conditions begins. By the end of the first week, appetite returns to its previous level, and sleep patterns take a little longer to recover. Speech inhibition may occur. Usually this degree of adaptation is not accompanied by sudden illnesses.

Average degree

Lasts from a week to a month. The baby’s emotional state returns to normal more slowly than with a mild form. In the first month, illnesses begin to appear: usually in the form of acute respiratory infections. The disease lasts about a week and ends without complications. It takes a month or a little more to restore your appetite. The emotional background is unstable, the mood often changes. During the day there is tearfulness. In relationships with close people, the child is emotionally excited: when parting and meeting, he cries or screams. The attitude towards peers is often indifferent, but they can also show interest. Speech activity slows down.

Characteristic external manifestations:

• red cheeks or paleness;
• dark circles under the eyes;
• sweating;
• diathesis.

These symptoms last for about 2 weeks. Feeling the emotional support of a loved one, the child begins to show cognitive activity and adapts faster.

Severe degree

The most difficult degree of adaptation of a child is in kindergarten, lasting 1-2 months (or more). The baby's emotional state is recovering very slowly. A preschooler can suffer from several diseases that come with complications.

Severe degree is characterized by persistent behavioral disturbances:

1. Sleep is intermittent, restless.
2. The baby may wake up crying or scream in his sleep.
3. Appetite practically disappears - sometimes to the point of refusing to eat.
4. Neurotic vomiting is possible.

The child consciously and unconsciously tries to get out of the situation, and all his emotions are directed towards this: screaming, crying, aggression. An active motor process or lack of activity may be observed with obvious negative emotions (depression, passive submission, quiet crying, tension). The child tries to avoid his peers and may become aggressive. Refuses to play games.

What not to do when separating from a child

There is a list of recommendations that every adult should follow when taking a child to a preschool institution:

1. A phrase like: “If you don’t listen to me, I’ll take you to kindergarten!” - it's taboo! After all, what is used to scare cannot evoke positive emotions.
2. If the baby cries when parting, do not scold him or get angry. The best helper here is patience, attention, kind words and actions (hug, kiss, don’t forget to say that you will definitely take it).
3. Don't promise the impossible. For example, today you go, and tomorrow you stay at home. And, if you promised, be sure to keep your word.
4. Try not to be the last one to pick up your baby. Especially in the first months of his stay in the garden.
5. Instead of the listed “don’ts,” praise more often, listen carefully and with interest to his stories about life in the team, about his achievements and failures.

What factors influence a child’s adaptation?

There are many important factors that influence adaptation to kindergarten:

• The state of the child's health and level of development . A well-developed and almost disease-free preschooler copes more easily with the difficulties of social adaptation.
• Presence of favorite games or subject activities . This helps to engage him in relevant activities.
• Age . Adaptation is more difficult in children under two years of age. Having crossed this line, they more easily adapt to new conditions. There is a simple explanation for this: as children grow up, they become more inquisitive and gain more experience in how to behave in different situations.
• Personality traits . Children of the same age category may behave differently during the adaptation period. Some may fall into a stressful state, ceasing to show interest in the world around them or showing obvious protest. However, a short period passes, and behavior returns to normal: appetite, sleep, and mood return. Other children may not outwardly show their anxiety for the first few days, but after a few days their tension spills out: their mood worsens, they do not want to part with their parents. This category of children requires the help of loved ones and a teacher. Be careful: subordinate reactions can last a long time, resulting in serious illnesses.
• Gender . Adaptation is more difficult for boys, since in preschool age they are more attached to their parents, and it is difficult to bear parting with them.
• Family and living conditions . We are talking about creating a regime for the baby in accordance with his individual characteristics and age, developing skills and abilities. If the family does not create the right conditions for the child’s development, without teaching him basic skills, then it will not be easy for him to get used to kindergarten. Adaptation is not easy for only children in the family, especially if they are overprotected and dependent on their mother or father.

Causes of difficult adaptation

Let us highlight separately the reasons why adaptation is difficult:

• The absence of a regime at home that coincides with that established in kindergarten.
• Inability to occupy oneself independently.
• Having specific habits.
• Lack of basic skills.
• Lack of experience communicating with an unfamiliar environment.

Factors indicating the end of the adaptation period

There are factors characteristic of completing adaptation to kindergarten:

• A good appetite.
• Deep sleep.
• Cheerfulness and good mood.
• Restoration of previously acquired skills, vigor.
• Age-appropriate weight gain.

What determines the degree of adaptation?

• Age . If a child knows how to go to the potty on his own, use a spoon, and fall asleep without the help of an adult, it will be easier for him to get used to garden conditions. As a rule, these skills are consolidated in children by the age of 2-3 years. Also at this age, children begin to show interest in their peers, although the main source of communication is still the teacher. For a 4-5 year old child to successfully adapt, the ability to negotiate and cooperate with peers is necessary.
• Health status . Since adaptation takes a lot of energy from children, the health of children with serious chronic diseases may worsen during this difficult period. Frequently ill children may also have difficulty adapting, so they require special attention and care.
• Socialization . Getting used to the garden is easier for children with sufficient experience interacting with both children and adults. Children who do not have developed communication skills experience severe anxiety when they are in an unfamiliar group. Therefore, it is very important not to limit the child’s social circle and help him learn to establish contact with people.

In many ways, the child’s adaptation depends on the teacher, who must be able to interest the child and gain his trust.

Negative reactions of children: main stages of adaptation

It is important to understand all the critical points that make it difficult to adapt to kindergarten.

Let us highlight the main ones:

• Early rise . For children whose daily routine was rarely regulated before, waking up at 7:30 (or even earlier) can become seriously stressful. To mitigate this negative factor for adaptation, a couple of weeks before visits to kindergarten, start waking up your baby earlier, accustoming him to the new routine. In kindergarten, also wake him up a little earlier than necessary, so that he can collect his thoughts for 10-15 minutes, lounging in bed, gradually moving from sleep to full awakening.
• Daytime sleep . To make it easier for a preschooler to adapt to kindergarten, do not ignore this aspect. Is your child used to falling asleep with a soft toy? Let him take her to the garden first. You can also buy fun pajamas for sleeping in the garden that your son or daughter will love.
• Lunch without the company of mom or dad . Feeding children causes many adaptation problems. Some refuse food that differs in taste from homemade, others simply do not want to have dinner without their mother.
• Getting used to the regime . Do you want the adaptation to be smoother? Find out in advance the schedule of the selected kindergarten. In a month or two, begin introducing the regime at home. Do this not abruptly, but gradually. In preschool age, it is recommended that a child sleep about 2-3 hours during the day and 10 hours at night. For comfortable adaptation to kindergarten, bedtime should begin as early as 21:00.
• Full-day stay in kindergarten . It is recommended to attend kindergarten before bedtime for the first week. In the second week you can stay until afternoon tea. It is advisable to stay full-time after a month of visits. Of course, these norms are quite individual. If adaptation is severe, pick up your child earlier. For any degree of adaptation, it is not recommended to pick up the baby last - children have a hard time experiencing this either consciously or subconsciously. Try not to allow the child to be left alone after all the children have been picked up by their parents.
• Contacts with unfamiliar children . Often in modern families there is only one child, and he rarely has the opportunity to establish relationships with peers. Usually, intersections with them occur only in the clinic, on the playground or at a party. Result: the child is not accustomed to contact with other children. Observe how he interacts with others. An extroverted child quickly makes contact and actively communicates with others - in this case, adaptation will be easier. A young introvert is usually shy and very obedient, so he will likely have difficulty communicating with more aggressive or active peers.
• Contact with the teacher . Undoubtedly, the teacher is an important figure in the process of getting used to kindergarten. Experience and communication skills allow him to correctly assess the psychological state of a preschooler and prevent various problems. If you have the opportunity to meet the teacher in advance, you will probably immediately determine how comfortable your son or daughter will be with such a person. Tell him about the child’s individual characteristics, his preferences, and concerns. Condemn all stages of adaptation.

Degrees of adaptation

An easy degree of adaptation (up to 1 month) is usually characteristic of physically healthy, sociable children with high psychological stability. The fact that adaptation is taking place can be easily judged by several signs:

• The child happily goes to kindergarten and joins the group;
• Contact has been established with the teacher;
• The baby plays with other children;
• There are no negative emotions when performing routine moments (eating, walking, exercising, sleeping);
• The general emotional background is consistently positive.

In general, during adaptation, the baby may experience a decrease in appetite, worsening sleep, pain, tearfulness and moodiness. This is normal, because the child’s body experiences stress and mobilizes all its strength to cope with it.

The average degree of adaptation (1 – 2 months) is characterized by the fact that the child does not experience serious difficulties when visiting kindergarten. Emotional outbursts are situational and short-term. There may be a decrease in immunity. Peculiarities of manifestation of adaptation of medium degree:

• A difficult separation from your mother (or other significant adult) before joining the group;
• Decreased activity, deterioration of speech and temporary loss of skills;
• The baby cries for some time after the mother leaves and does not contact others;
• However, the tension quickly subsides, the child begins to pay attention to toys, peers, the teacher, and joins in the general activity;
• Most regime moments do not cause difficulties.

A severe degree of adaptation (2-6 months) is accompanied by frequent illnesses, whims and hysterics, and a depressed emotional state of the baby during most of the time in kindergarten. The child's stress can be so strong that it affects his behavior at home and relationships with his parents. Signs of severe adaptation also include the following:

• The child systematically does not want to go to kindergarten;
• The baby gets scared and does not trust the teacher;
• In a group, he is not distracted by games and is constantly in tension;
• Lack of contact with peers;
• Aggression towards other children.

If the child is having a hard time going through the adaptation process, it is necessary to discuss this issue with the teacher and consult with a psychologist. Only the common efforts of each party in this case will lead to success. Some children cannot adapt to the conditions of kindergarten at all, but this phenomenon is extremely rare.

How parents can help their child during the adaptation period

Parental help can be called fundamental in adaptation.

General recommendations:

1. Make sure your child acquires simple skills (the ability to use a spoon, ask to go potty, get dressed, communicate with others, use a handkerchief, express requests in words or gestures).
2. Don't discuss your experiences in front of your child.
3. Dress your baby according to the season. Shoes and clothing should not create difficulties for him. Choose shoes not with laces, but with Velcro, and clothes with snaps, not buttons.
4. Study the kindergarten routine in advance. Follow it every day (on weekends too).
5. Too frequent visits to public organizations (performances, clubs) in combination with many intellectual activities at home can overload the baby’s nervous system.
6. Often discuss with your preschooler how useful kindergarten is, and how important it is for him to go there (put dolls to bed, water flowers, play with soft toys).
7. Regularly check the contents of your baby’s pockets to make sure there are no piercing, small or sharp objects in them.
8. When meeting with the teacher, tell him about the baby’s mood and health. Be interested in how he behaves in kindergarten.
9. Do not give your child too expensive toys, and if this happens and the baby does not keep track of the thing, do not be too strict with him.
10. Plan your own schedule so that in the first month of being in kindergarten, the preschooler is not there until the end of the day, and can quickly find himself in familiar home conditions.
11. Teach your son or daughter to communicate with other people. Go on a visit or visit crowded playgrounds more often.
12. Only healthy children are allowed to attend kindergarten. Remember about the prevention of acute respiratory viral infections and acute respiratory infections.

If you have come to the conclusion that your child feels the need for contact with familiar adults and is not afraid of strangers, then this is a good sign. If he strives for independence, willingly engages in games, has some self-service skills, is friendly and open, then he is probably ready for kindergarten.

The main mistakes of parents

Many parents make mistakes that interfere with their adaptation to kindergarten. So, let's look at the most common misconceptions:

“The sooner you send your child to a nursery (a year or two), the sooner he adapts

If possible, it is better to abandon the nursery unless there is an urgent need for it. For children under three years of age (some longer), it is important to feel connected to their family and preferably spend most of the day in their home. During this period, his emotional connection with his mother and father is especially strong; it builds self-confidence in the child and provides a sense of security. Also, many physiological and psychological needs can only be “closed” by a mother or father. It has been noticed that children who were at an early age not in a nursery, but with their mother, are more emotionally stable.

Experts involved in preschool development have come to the conclusion that in recent years, preschoolers have often experienced developmental difficulties, so at an early age it is better to be under the supervision and care of their mother. This does not exclude joint attendance at play sessions for early development, which will be the first step towards socialization.

“A three-year-old child can stay in kindergarten all day.”

Kindergartens mainly accept children from the age of three. However, not every 3-year-old preschooler has such readiness, especially when it comes to staying full-time. Some people manage to adapt at three years old, others at four, and still others at five cannot easily tolerate separation from mom or dad. An adapted child goes to kindergarten with desire and says goodbye to his mother without crying or suffering.

Girls manage to get used to new people and routines faster, and this is easier for them at 3-4 years old than for boys, who adapt much more slowly. Boys are more emotionally attached to their parents and have a harder time being separated, even for a few hours. Focus on the baby’s condition and analyze it.

“You need to go to kindergarten in the fall”

More often, children are brought to kindergarten in September, but a more favorable time for adaptation is the end of spring and summer. During this period, the cognitive cycle usually ends, children walk more and do creative work. Daylight hours are becoming longer, brighter and warmer. Waking up in the morning is easier.

Autumn can hardly be called a good time for adaptation. At first, it is important for the baby to observe the slowness of the processes in order to be able to look around and get used to it. It is easier to do this in the summer, when there are fewer children in the kindergarten, and teachers have finished with the main educational programs and devote more time to role-playing games.

Let us note other difficulties that appear in the spring:

• The baby gets tired faster and finds it more difficult to concentrate.
• There is a decrease in emotional background due to lack of sunlight, gloomy weather, and early sunset.

“In a week you can get used to kindergarten”

For some children this is possible, but not for all. During the first month, it is advisable not to leave the baby all day. One to two weeks is an adjustment period for an emotionally stable child of 5-6 years old or for someone who has already attended kindergarten. Girls manage to get used to it faster, boys usually need at least a month. As already mentioned, for the first week it is advisable for the baby to spend time in the garden before lunch, then until afternoon tea, and only after a month try a full stay.

It happens that the child immediately stays for a full day, without expressing any special signs of anxiety or discomfort, but after 1-2 months mental overstrain begins to appear (obsessive movements, tics, enuresis, loss of appetite, viral diseases). The described factors indicate a high workload that was beyond the strength of a preschooler.

At what age should a child be sent to kindergarten?

There is an opinion that the sooner you send your baby to kindergarten, the easier it will be for him to get used to it. But this opinion is wrong.

“Enrolling in kindergarten is a serious stress for a child,” comments child psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences Olga Arkhipova. — Especially for children aged one or two years. At this age, there is a strong emotional connection between the child and mother. At the same time, there is no need to communicate with other children yet.”

According to the expert, the most unfavorable time to get acquainted with a kindergarten is one year. At this time, the child’s adaptation to the conditions of kindergarten is most difficult. The baby is not only very worried about separation from his mother, but is also afraid of strangers.

Children aged one and a half years experience similar emotions. It would be a mistake for parents to expect that a cheerful and carefree baby will calmly enter the children's group and immediately switch to communicating with peers and adults. In practice, everything happens differently. A sharp change in the usual way of life becomes a serious test for the baby’s nervous system.

At two years old, the baby is no longer so afraid of strangers, and his affection for his mother gradually decreases. But this does not mean that a child’s adaptation to a kindergarten or nursery group will be without problems. Not all children at two years old are mentally and physically ready to go to a nursery, which means that the process of getting used to new conditions may take a long time.

“The most favorable age for a child to enter kindergarten is three years,” notes Olga Arkhipova.”

pixabay.com/

Adaptation of a child to kindergarten: advice from a psychologist

Usually adaptation is accompanied by stress, and parents can help the child cope with it.

So what are the ways to do this?

• Try to understand what aspects interfere with comfortable adaptation . The problem lies on the surface: just ask the child directly. It also happens that parents have to face a number of hidden difficulties. If adaptation is delayed, you need to consult a psychologist.
• It is important to be aware of what emotions a child may have during the adaptation period in order to neutralize negative ones and enhance positive ones . Among the negative ones, the most clearly expressed are: anger, resentment, fear. Among the positive ones: curiosity, satisfaction with a sense of independence.
• In the first weeks, it is advisable to limit the child's stay in the garden to three hours . Increase the interval slowly. Always tell your child when you are coming so that he does not feel abandoned. Do not show anxiety when saying goodbye: it will be transmitted doubly. Be relaxed, joke around.
• Let your child take his favorite toys to the garden . With their help, he will feel connected to home. Another trick can help: let him not be taken to the garden by his mother or father, but by another family member to whom he is not so strongly attached. In this case, the first minutes in the group will not be as painful as after parting with your mother.
• Experience a new period for him with your baby . Ask about details of the past day. You should be interested in everything: who he played with, what he learned, what he liked and what he was dissatisfied with. It is important for the child to feel your attention and support. He should not have the feeling that he is left to his own devices.
• Shortly before bed, talk to your child about plans for tomorrow . Remind him that tomorrow he will go to kindergarten again, cheer him up, give him the task of playing with some kind of kindergarten toy, or give him another “task” that he should complete in the garden.

Recommendations for parents on how to make separation from their baby easier

Information for parents about adaptation to kindergarten is often located on stands in the locker room and issued in the form of reminders and booklets. It will be good if parents prepare and set up their child for new living conditions long before he appears on the threshold of the group.

Necessary actions

• Come up with your own farewell ritual with your baby, which will instill in him confidence that his mother will definitely return. This can be any simple action: the phrase “I love you,” a kiss on the nose, or a firm handshake. Always. When leaving the baby with one of the other adults, perform the same action so that the child remembers it. By saying goodbye in this way, the child will more easily part with his mother in the preschool locker room.
• About six months before going to kindergarten, begin to involve other adults in communicating with the child, so that he has experience of parting with his mother and interacting with other adults. You can start with them communicating in the presence of mom, and then start being away for longer and longer periods of time.
• Gradually leave the baby alone in the room while the mother is out of sight. Sometimes it’s worth inviting him to play on his own, without the participation of adults - this skill will also be needed in kindergarten.
• Try to form a positive self-esteem and ideas about yourself for the baby: tell him how smart, independent, cheerful and sociable he is. At the same time, it is necessary to avoid statements that the child is unsociable, capricious or angry.

Unnecessary actions

• Never leave your child when he is distracted. In this situation, he is very scared that his mother has disappeared to God knows where. Next time he will try with all his might not to let his mother leave him even one step.
• Do not try to leave the child alone at home, even going to the store located in the neighboring house. Firstly, this will increase the baby’s anxiety level, and secondly, in just a few minutes he can find himself in danger in his own apartment.
• There is no need to buy your child something tasty or toys every time after a separation: if he develops an understanding that something material awaits him after the separation, such purchases will have to be made every day when the child goes to kindergarten.