How to become independent and independent? Top 7 ways, tips

How to become independent? Sooner or later, every person thinks about this. Modern life is full of surprises and constantly requires making serious decisions. However, what should those who for some reason be afraid to make decisions and become independent do? No problem! A few effective steps will help you get closer to the image of a free, independent and purposeful person. A few simple tips separate a person from becoming independent.

Reasons for lack of independence

Life is full of difficulties, and requires a person to make immediate decisions, behind which lies responsibility for his own life, and sometimes the lives of others. At first glance, it may seem that only children and adolescents may experience problems with decision-making. However, in real life everything is much more complicated, and a person’s age does not affect the ability to make decisions at all.

According to psychologists, the reasons for lack of independence should be sought in early childhood. Remember Sigmund Freud's statement that all problems come to us from childhood? This statement clearly demonstrates how mistakes in raising a child can negatively affect the development of his personality in the future.

Before understanding the problems associated with the inability to make important decisions, let's look at the etymology of the concept of “responsibility”:

Independence is a person’s ability to fulfill all obligations and follow generally accepted norms in society. In addition, responsibility implies awareness of the consequences of decisions made.

In childhood and adolescence, we often commit infantile actions. This is due to the fact that the child has a limited perception of the world and also lacks life experience. Often a child cannot identify a cause-and-effect relationship, so in some situations he acts completely illogically. However, as we grow older, society requires us to comply with established requirements and rules.

It is worth immediately understanding that responsibility is not part of character, and not an innate feature inherent in a person. Independence is a synonym for responsibility, as well as a certain value guideline that society instills in teenagers in the older generation.

The reasons for lack of independence are the following:

manifestation of excessive guardianship on the part of parents, imposition of one’s own opinion;
excessive severity is another extreme that parents often show in the process of raising their child;
individual characteristics of a person - by nature, people can be timid and indecisive, and the need to make decisions becomes a painful and even painful procedure for them;
The position of a “dependent person” is convenient for a person; he chooses it for personal reasons.

Each of the described reasons is completely solvable, the main thing is to determine the nature of the problem in time. Starting to work on yourself is a serious step, but simple tips will help make your dreams of an independent and independent life come true.

Don't protect yourself from others!

Many people, having achieved any success, forget about their friends or stop communicating with them. But it's not right.

Instead of protecting yourself from the company of people who have not yet achieved any results, give them advice from personal experience on how to become independent. Many men and women who have become quite independent have problems with personal relationships. After all, they begin to look for mates just like them.

Unfortunately, these people don’t come across very often. It will be very difficult for two independent and self-sufficient individuals to live together and have a relationship. Because in a family, someone has to take care of the other. And when making any decision, someone will have to give in, which is unusual for an independent person.

Most people strive for independence, but do not know how to become independent without a high-paying position. However, everything lies not only in material support, but also depends on the character of the person. Some are brought up in such an environment that they do not even have the thought of independence. They are ready to live at the expense of others all the time. First they depend on their parents, then on their husband or wife, and then they shift everything to their children. Sometimes excessive care leads to the fact that a person is not able to independently succeed in life and is constantly waiting for help from others.

Developing healthy habits

You need to start the path of transformation by developing valuable skills that will repeatedly help you in life:

we learn to take responsibility for ourselves - the implementation of the habit goes through timely payment of bills, willingness to meet work deadlines and be punctual;
always keep abreast of the latest events - a modern person must have up-to-date information;
it is necessary to work through all the tasks for the day;
defend your own opinion, do not rely on the opinions of others, since only you can understand what you want from life.

Some useful habits include creating short-term and global goals that will help you realize your goals in your personal and professional sphere.

How to become a self-sufficient person?

You can start developing self-sufficiency with the recommendations of psychologists:

Learn to treat any situation as simply as possible - both when you are praised and admired, and when you are reprimanded for something, reproached for something, or expressed dissatisfaction.
When you have to be alone, accept this state by cultivating the perception of personal space and time free from everything and everyone as a serious value.
Train yourself: spend your days alone with yourself, knocking out all your gadgets, not turning on the TV, not going online, not communicating with relatives, friends and acquaintances.
Project in your mind situations where you are left without the support of people dear to you in order to gain the experience of loneliness and independence and develop in yourself the strong-willed qualities inherent in self-sufficient people.
Mentally recreate pleasant memories and emotions in your memory, think about whether there is some way to get the same sensations without the participation of other people - being just alone.
Analyze your life and the people from your social circle, and approach it critically: what and who do you really need, is there a spiritual connection with someone, and what and who is just taking up time?
Practice independent decision-making as often as possible, turn to other people for advice and tips less often - this will form a new habit and develop the skill of taking responsibility for everything that happens.
Analyze yourself and make a list of all the qualities and skills that may be useful to you in a completely independent life; think about what goals will lead you to complete independence.
Read books, quotes and aphorisms of famous people and outstanding personalities on the topic of self-sufficiency, self-confidence, independence and other qualities necessary for an independent person.
Stop demanding and expecting anything from other people, hoping for someone’s help, looking for support and sympathy from others - start thinking, behaving and living like an adult.
Get used to serving yourself and your needs yourself. This applies to everything: from getting up in the morning, cooking, washing clothes and cleaning the house to earning money, choosing a place to work, setting goals and objectives.
Take care of yourself and your body, eat right, exercise, start leading a healthy lifestyle - all this will allow you to stay young and healthy, and enjoy every day you live.
Set goals. They must cover different time periods, i.e. you need to set goals for the day, week, month, year and even more, but the most important thing is to do at least something on your own every day to achieve them.

Along with these recommendations, take note of the rules of self-sufficient people. In general, there are not many of them, but they are of particular value.

Manage your finances yourself

Personal distribution of finances is a direct path to independence. Controlling expenses will help you learn how to manage money correctly, keep your finger on the pulse, and know the value of money. If you purposefully transfer your own money into the possession of another person, you automatically sign up for dependence.

Another important point on the path to independence is completely getting rid of financial debts. Debts bind and fetter a person, since he cannot feel completely free. According to financial experts, debt should not exceed 36% of your monthly income. If you are burdened with a loan, then it is worth reconsidering the interest rate, applying for refinancing or, if possible, paying off part of the debt.

In addition, it is better to try not to borrow money, and use cash instead of a credit card. When paying with a credit card, a person does not see the real expenses, and accordingly, he does not realize full responsibility for all expenses. When dealing with financial issues, it is important to maintain a sense of proportion and not succumb to the temptation to buy too much. When going to the store, train yourself to prepare a shopping list in advance to avoid unnecessary purchases.

Rule 3. Consider other people's motives

Some people have a unique gift of persuasion. At a car dealership, such a person will easily sell you a car, and at work, he will force you to recognize his way of solving the problem as the most effective. In a conversation with him, you will not even notice how you promise to come to his party. It will prove to anyone how much plastic harms the environment. Remember: you can’t mindlessly follow another person’s train of thought. Use your own mind when making decisions.

On the one hand, you personally may need a completely different car. On the other hand, plastic really harms nature. You need to figure out whether what they are convincing you of is true, or what they are trying to persuade you to believe. To do this, the first step is to find out the reason why a person is trying to do this.

Think about why he needs to gain your trust. Some want you, as a result of their persuasion, to buy something, join somewhere, agree to something, attend some event, sign a petition. But it also happens differently. Sometimes people just express their opinions and crave your approval. For example, a person wants to convince you that building a new parking lot is good for the city. After all, if someone agrees with us, we feel that we are not alone. So it is not at all necessary that anything else is required of you.

Find out what they want from you, and it will be easier to figure out whether you personally need it. Let's say your friend tells you that a nice party is planned. He would like to go to it with you. But he can’t be sure that it will be great there. Do you want to go there? Do you want to join the company? If yes, for what reason? Because you want to have fun? Or to support a friend? It’s easier to adapt to other people’s methods of persuasion if you know how to recognize them.

Of course, it may turn out that this particular car is indeed ideal for you, no matter what the goals of the seller who persuaded you to buy it were. You shouldn’t refuse something just because they’re trying to force it on you (otherwise you wouldn’t buy anything from car dealers at all).

If you understand a person's motive, you don't have to reject their point of view. You just need to exercise reasonable caution and double-check the information provided. Make sure you are given strong arguments.

A consultant from the showroom can infect you with his enthusiasm, talking about how crazy the speed of the car is or how comfortable the rear seats are. Don't give in! Are you sure that these particular criteria for choosing a vehicle are important to you? A colleague may insist that in order to attract small engineering enterprises you need to visit a specialized exhibition. Think about it, is it really so important that they become clients of your company? If not, then why did the colleague need to acquire these connections? Only by understanding the other person's motive can you determine which of the proposed facts should be given importance.

If you understand a person's motive, you don't have to reject their point of view.

Strive for self-sufficiency

In order to fully express yourself as an independent and responsible person, you need to clearly know your responsibilities. We recommend writing a complete list of responsibilities for which you are personally responsible in life. For example, why not get into the habit of ironing things yourself? Or cook dinner, buy food without anyone's help.

Experts recommend getting a pet or growing a garden to fully demonstrate responsibility and care. Caring for an animal, walking and feeding help you feel the full burden of responsibility, which will certainly make you an independent person who is responsible not only for your own life, but also for the lives of others.

A good option would be to attend a first aid course. Imagine that the skills acquired during training can save the life of another person. The basics of auto mechanics will make you independent on the road, since any breakdown will not unsettle you, and will make you a real king of the road. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle will help you gain independence from illnesses and visits to doctors.

How to instill independence

A child will be able to develop harmoniously and gradually become independent if his parents follow simple tips:

Start with your daily routine. He not only disciplines, but also trains responsibility. First, remind your child of the time and actions. Then the child will remember everything and learn to plan his day himself.
Determine the responsibilities that the child must perform independently. This could be taking care of a pet, taking out the trash, washing dishes, sweeping the floor.
Praise for achievements, even small, intermediate ones. This will allow the child to understand that he is valued, that his efforts are not in vain, and that there is an incentive to do something again.
Take an interest in your child’s opinion, take into account his needs and desires. The child should feel important, needed and significant.
Let's have the opportunity to choose independently: clothes, hobbies, food, responsibilities, home accessories, and so on. The child must learn to make his own choices.
Help when your child asks. It is important not to do everything for him, but to help: to suggest, support, direct him in the right direction.
Get advice. You can ask what is best to cook for dinner, how to dress, what to buy.
Provide free time - at least 1-2 hours a day. During this period, the child can do what he wants.
Break complex tasks into small ones. So, if you have to do general cleaning, you can divide it into stages: putting things in their places, vacuuming carpets, washing floors, dusting, cleaning plumbing.
Set an example: do not shy away from solving problems, look for ways out of difficult situations, do not show your incompetence or helplessness.
Offer new interesting tasks and inspire achievements. This will help you not to be afraid of difficulties and unknown situations, and learn to adapt to new conditions.
Clearly formulate your goals and indicate the desired results. The child must understand what he is doing and why.
Failure is normal! You shouldn’t attach great importance to them, because any mistake is experience and a reason to try again. Yes, you can gently say that the baby did something wrong, even give advice. But don’t scold, don’t remind about the mistake.
Support. The child should know that he is not alone, and if something doesn’t work out, he will be helped and not judged.
Explain all prohibitions. You need to say not just “You can’t!”, but “You don’t need to do this because...”.
Pay attention. Be interested in affairs, plans and thoughts, always listen carefully to your child. This way you will understand what the child wants, fears, fears or does not accept. And this will help to identify problems in a timely manner and move in the right direction.

Emotional harmony is the path to independence

What is emotional self-sufficiency? First of all, it is the ability to control your feelings and emotions, regardless of external circumstances. Life is full of surprises, including not always pleasant ones.

The ability to resist emotions is a valuable skill on the path to excellence. Conducting self-analysis helps to determine the reasons for the appearance of certain feelings, to analyze, and not to take what is happening to heart. Sometimes it’s worth turning to a professional - a psychologist, who will “sort everything out” and help you find emotional stability.

You should always be confident in your abilities. This helps maintain stability in your relationship with your partner and feel like a self-sufficient person. Psychologists recommend expressing concern, working through negative aspects, and talking through the problems that cause you concern. Solitude with nature, spiritual practices, yoga and visiting places for inspiration (theaters, cinemas, museums, parks, etc.) will help you achieve emotional stability.

Disadvantages of self-sufficient women:

Minus No. 1. The habit of doing without men

A man, invading the carefully organized and planned life of an independent girl, spoils the whole picture - he begins to distract her from work, from nightly reading, language courses and self-improvement. When such a style of behavior appears in a girl’s life, it invariably causes her to first have a slight feeling of anxiety, which develops into panic. On the face of such girls you can read: where did you come from?! Put it where it was! And in general!...everything is fine with me! It’s a rare man who can stand another leader next to him. If he wanted an equal partnership so much, he would marry his best friend. In extreme cases, an amorphous, infantile model may linger for a long time next to an independent girl, incapable of independence and therefore rejoicing that someone is doing it for him. Again, this is not the best option for organizing your personal life. Minus No. 2. The habit of doing without people at all. Having learned to live and relax on your own, sooner or later you ask yourself: why is this crowd of people around me? I’m so good at going to the cinema alone (playing sports, skating, learning to dance). Independence is often synonymous with loneliness. The habit of living with one mind is fraught with a sharp narrowing of the circle of friends - yes, this slightly contradicts what was written above (they say, you can easily get together with friends at any time), but nevertheless. Minus No. 3. High responsibility, and as a result - nervous tension and inability to relax. Accustomed to keeping everything under control, such a girl simply cannot loosen the reins. In her life, everything is strictly regulated, and deviation from the course is perceived as a failure in the system. Of course - after all, she is the mistress of her life! As a result, she risks turning into a neurasthenic person, constantly worrying whether everything is in place on her life’s shelves and whether she has lost her way. Perhaps I exaggerated my colors. And everything is not so sad. After all, independence is a sign of a mature person.

Gain additional skills

It’s never too late to learn, and the opportunity to develop provides a person with additional skills. The more skills you master, the easier it is to be independent. It is noteworthy that both courses on eyelash extensions and personal growth trainings, courses on mastering computer technology, applied physics, etc. will help you become independent.

Obtaining additional skills develops independence, gives a feeling of self-worth and limitless possibilities. The main thing is that you will pay for the classes yourself, select materials for training, and hone the acquired skills in practice. Ultimately, we gain valuable experience that will definitely be useful in life.

she is socially successful and professionally implemented

Such a girl will not complain that she was locked in the kitchen by her husband and children, and instead of achieving success at work, she disappears among the pots. Her diploma does not gather dust in the nightstand, she is respected in the team, and certificates for professional achievements hang above her desk. she is interesting as a person. Girls of this type always have something to talk about: they are aware of fashion trends and the Dow Jones index, they know what parties and shows are happening this week (and probably have a couple of invitations in their purse). No matter what you talk about, she will always readily pick up the topic. And if he suddenly finds himself not in the know - and this happens with these celestials - he will soon fill this gap in his education. Of course, she's used to knowing everything.

Speak with confidence

Often, independence and independence lies not only in the internal readiness to cope with difficulties and make decisions, but also in a person’s appearance. A hunched back and shuffling gait demonstrate that the person is reserved and does not want to stand out from the crowd. For an independent person, it is extremely important to be able to correctly convey your opinion. There are several secrets that will help you master public speaking skills:

stand in front of the mirror and repeat the tongue twisters, clearly drawing out each sound;
pay attention to the speech of people who serve as an example for inspiration;
in your spare time, learn poetry, read as much as possible;
to gain practical experience, enroll in a theater studio or a poetry club - reciting poems in front of an audience will give you valuable experience and give you the opportunity to get used to the attention of others.

Simple tips and constant practice will help you become a true master of words, and not be timid even in front of the most skilled speaker.

If you want to be self sufficient...

Some people say: “We will help everyone become independent.” But I would like to say that any person can become like this, the main thing is to have the desire. What is needed for independence and self-sufficiency?

Find a job to have financial independence.
Choose the appropriate option for independent living (purchasing your own home, renting an apartment or room).
Get rid of dependence on others, have your own opinion.
Learn to solve your problems yourself without resorting to the help of others.
Rely completely on your own strength.

Help people

Good deeds are a great opportunity to express yourself and feel your own importance. Take your grandmother across the road, carry your neighbor's heavy bags, or feed a stray cat. Every good deed allows you to realize personal growth, and the feeling of joy from helping your neighbor will certainly inspire further actions.

The development of independence in a person is possible only if he is determined to constantly do something. The position of a silent witness is a taboo for anyone who is thinking about how to become independent. Small acts of kindness transform over time into great practical experience.

How to plan finances?

To learn how to overcome financial difficulties, you need to properly distribute your income. When you receive money, immediately set aside the required amount for rent and utility bills. If you need to buy some clothes or shoes, set aside extra money. Then distribute the remaining funds for groceries until your next paycheck. You need to learn to purchase only the necessary things, save and be able to distribute your income. Only those who have gone through it know how to become independent, and almost anyone can say that it is not so easy and takes time.

Adviсe

the habit of keeping a diary will help you analyze all the events that happened during the day;
learn something new every year, visit new places, learn additional skills, learn languages;
establish relationships with people from different walks of life, because each person can provide valuable experience;
do not try to change your own “I”, the main thing is to develop determination and a desire to be responsible for your actions;
free yourself from control from others - any manifestation of control is detrimental to the individual;
prove to yourself that you can make any decisions, think independently and don’t be afraid to dream;
do not be afraid to ask for help, because independence does not mean refusing any type of help from loved ones;
Absorb other people's experiences and use them as valuable life advice.

If you are thinking about how to become independent, you should pull yourself together and take advantage of the valuable expert advice described in this article. We often find ourselves in situations where we need to make immediate decisions and take fate into our own hands. Independence is a natural stage in personality development, as well as a sign of a person’s spiritual maturity. Trying to become independent expands our capabilities, so it's time for a change. Believe in yourself, and you will definitely succeed!

“Why do you think independence is called an acquired and not an innate quality? Tell us which of the methods described in the article do you think are the most effective?”

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Author of the article Angela Karpacheva Freelancer

Independence: essence and main components

What is independence? If we talk about children, many regard this quality as the ability to take care of oneself independently, satisfy basic natural needs, do something without the help of adults, as well as the ability to keep oneself occupied. But in fact, the concept is more extensive, and it includes several components:

Initiative. This is the ability to act not according to someone else's instructions, but on one's own initiative. The child must be aware of the need to participate in events or activities, and not wait for requests or coercion.
Self confidence. This is not only self-esteem, but also the ability to adequately assess one’s capabilities and strengths. An independent and consciously thinking child will not try to accomplish the impossible, for example, moving a heavy sofa.
Responsibility. This component is extremely important, and it covers several aspects: understanding the consequences of one’s own actions, the ability to correct mistakes, the willingness to fulfill responsibilities and keep promises. This can also include the understanding that results (achievement of goals, success) depend on the child himself, and not on the people or circumstances around him.
The ability to make decisions, not spontaneously, but deliberately, analyzing situations and thinking through their possible outcomes.
The ability to set realistic goals and achieve them, albeit gradually and step by step.
The ability to act consciously under known demands or certain conditions. Example: Mom or Dad gave a task and set time limits. The child must not only fulfill the request, but also understand that there is no need to hesitate and be lazy.
Self-control, independent assessment of performance results. A child, while doing something, should not be distracted or switch to something else. He can also check himself and correct the mistakes that were made.
The ability to use algorithms is to transfer well-known sequences of actions to new circumstances.

Not even every adult has such qualities. And the main problem often lies in the fact that mom or dad simply does not understand exactly how to act, since they themselves are not capable of what is described above. But if you understand everything, the problem will become solvable.