Men who hate women: how to recognize a misogynist

General information

Misogynists have a scientific name: misogyny. Translating this term from Greek, “misogyny” is hatred of women. Its manifestations are aimed at the female sex. Expressed by the following signs:

• a feeling of hostility;
• negative attitude;
• humiliating actions;
• neglect;
• excessive control;
• sexual objectification (the girl is seen as a partner for sexual gratification);
• violence.

Until recently, misogyny was viewed as domestic tyranny. Nowadays, this concept leaves the framework of relationships within one family, penetrating into various spheres of society.

You can communicate with a man who will be quite gallant, courteous, attentive, generous with compliments, tactful, and you will not even think that such a person is literally exploding with hatred of the female sex and is disgusted. It is not always possible to understand from a man’s behavior that he disdains women and feels hatred towards them. A misogynist can be amiable and reserved, hiding his true attitude. This is due to the fact that there are two types of misogynists.

1. Open. A man does not hide his hatred, publicly humiliates, insults, ridicules female representatives, doubts their mental abilities, and actively supports any negative statement aimed at the female sex. He happily spreads his conviction to the masses.
2. Hidden. He makes the best impression on women who do not even suspect that he is a misogynist. This type is more dangerous, because a girl manages to find out the true face of a man already during the relationship, and often after marriage.

Why women hate men

Greed

. For some reason, the desperate desire to save every penny on oneself and loved ones is found precisely among the stronger sex. Greedy people never leave tips, get upset after every shopping trip, and avoid giving gifts to women. At the same time, such savings have nothing to do with a man’s real income. In the eyes of the ladies, this type looks pitiful and not at all masculine, and all because, on an instinctive level, the “stronger sex” is perceived as the breadwinner. And if this earner is greedy, then he does not inspire trust.

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Hot temper and rudeness.

The notorious sultriness in the style of an “oriental man” in bed will probably bear fruit in the form of increased passion. However, in all other respects, a screaming and swearing man will cause nothing but antipathy.

Stupidity.

As you know, the most powerful sexual organ in men is not the same one at all, but the brain. And if the gentleman’s brain somehow doesn’t work very well, then his attractiveness melts away before our eyes. On the contrary, if a man is interesting, erudite, with a rich vocabulary, then a woman will like him even despite his unsightly appearance.

Boring.

If a man on a date spends a long time, monotonously telling a lady about how protons and neutrons work, then he may not even count on any passion on her part. Bores, of course, are stable, predictable and loyal, in the end, but women are deadly bored with them.

Inattention.

Usually all men in long-term relationships are guilty of this. Gradually, their attention to their beloved dulls and they may not notice for weeks that she, for example, has dyed their brunette hair blonde. Things are even worse if a man, even at the beginning of a relationship, ignores the fact that his beloved does not like cats and what kind of music she prefers to listen to.

Increased love for mom

. Mothers of infantiles occupy all their time, space and money, and, of course, actively manage their personal lives. And not a single woman wants to participate in this endless battle for her lover.

Cheap show-offs.

At the beginning of a relationship, many men brag a little - after all, they want to impress the lady of their heart. However, if all the gentleman’s conversations come down only to how much he bought his car for, how he “built” everyone at work and where he will go on vacation, then he will cause nothing but irritation and boredom in a woman.

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Possible reasons

A strict, domineering mother who resorts to physical punishment can influence the development of hatred towards women.
Let's look at what factors can influence the development of hostility directed towards the entire female sex:

• lack or absence of emotional contact with the mother;
• the presence of special religious views within the family;
• bullying and humiliation from classmates and peers;
• lack of close relationships with girls due to the presence of physical defects in appearance;
• growing up in a family in which the female role was devalued;
• unsuccessful first experience of sexual life, open ridicule of a partner;
• rough treatment by female relatives, especially mothers, corporal punishment;
• betrayal of a beloved woman, treason.

In most cases, misogyny begins to form in childhood, when there is no formed worldview and there is emotional instability.

What is slut shaming

It is an established practice to judge girls and women who, in the opinion of their critic, look like JJ Endendijk, A.L. van Baar, and M. Deković.
He is a Stud, She is a Slut! A Meta‑Analysis on the Continued Existence of Sexual Double Standards / Personality and Social Psychology review or behave excessively relaxed, sexually and provocatively. The key here is “according to the critic.” Slut shaming is always subjective, and its initiator relies There’s No Such Thing as a Slut / The Atlantic on his ideas about morality, “correct” behavior and, no less important, his own psychological complexes. The American online publication Buzzfeed notes Tell Us About A Time When You Were Slut‑Shamed, What Happened And Who Tried To Shame You / Buzzfeed that slut shaming is used as a universal way to humiliate a person (victims are sometimes also representatives of sexual minorities) in order to look more dignified and attractive against its background.

The famous “slut” in relation to a girl who bought a nice car or got a prestigious position is a clear example of slut shaming. In this situation, the accuser feels better, more noble: it was not he who studied and worked less, it was the girl who had everything fall on her head practically for nothing, but in fact she... Well, you understand.

In some cases, slut shaming becomes What To Do if You're the Target of Revenge Porn / Federal Trade Commission. Consumer Information is not just a “point of view”, but a real crime. For example, when it comes to the fact that the accuser posts explicit photos or videos of the victim on the Internet, sending them to her friends and acquaintances. In California, such actions are punishable by 48 States + DC + One territory now have revenge porn laws / Cyber ​​Civil Rights Initiative six months in prison or a fine of $1,000; in Russia, such behavior can be considered by the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, Article 137 “Violation of privacy” as a violation privacy.

However, most often slut shamers go unpunished. And there are social reasons for this.

Characteristic manifestations

How exactly a man who hates women will behave is influenced by whether he is an open or covert misogynist. We will look at the signs that, in principle, can characterize a misogynist.

1. He carefully studies a woman, her behavior, and carefully hides his true intentions. The girl has no idea that she started a relationship with a misogynist. He makes a favorable impression and charms. But over time, gallantry and kindness are replaced by unceremoniousness and rudeness.
2. The young man makes incredible promises that he has no intention of keeping. At the same time, when he promises something to his male friends, he always keeps his word.
3. He behaves disrespectfully, is late for business meetings with women, and also arrives late for dates. In a male environment, he is always punctual.
4. He is often ambitious, reacts sharply to a woman who is more successful than him, and treats this fact as a personal insult.
5. Almost always behaves arrogantly, self-confidently, patronizingly. Being next to a woman, he emphasizes a high opinion of himself, pointing out his own superiority.
6. In all spheres of his life, he demonstrates a biased attitude towards women, indicating who is in charge.
7. He easily hurts female representatives, can manipulate, publicly humiliate, and make offensive jokes about the girl.
8. During intimate intimacy, first of all, taking care of satisfying one’s desires often ignores the woman’s needs.
9. Easily cheats on his partner. He does this not because he is polygamous, but because he treats all girls with disrespect and contempt.

You need to understand that your particular misogynist will not have all of the above signs. Sometimes it’s difficult to figure out such a person.

The following manifestations may indicate that a woman lives with a misogynist:

• controls all her movements and actions;
• prohibits seeing friends, limits social circle;
• does not allow his partner to work, because he believes that she should only care about the whims of her man and in no case be more successful than him;
• criticizes the girl’s appearance, pointing out flaws in her figure, hair color, nose shape, makeup, etc.;
• treats her achievements with ridicule, suppresses the beginnings of creative potential;
• treats violations of rules and mistakes of his partner strictly;
• He often resorts to psychological violence, manipulates his lady, reminds her of her shortcomings and past mistakes.

The main goal of misogyny is the destruction of women as individuals. A misogynist gradually shakes the psyche of his partner. Even if she becomes pliable, fulfills all his whims, he deliberately provokes a conflict in order to feel his power, makes the woman suffer.

Hearth Keeper

“A woman’s place is in the kitchen”, “stay at home and raise children” - such things would probably have been written on the walls of caves by the shamans of ancient tribes, if they could write. The simplest pattern of relationships between a man and a woman arose back in the Stone Age, and has remained unchanged to this day. Times change, but stereotypes remain: not everyone benefits from relating them to what is happening and abandoning what has long been outdated.

The change in living conditions had little effect on the perception of the majority of men of the opposite sex. A woman who works equally with a man can be reproached for an unprepared dinner or for not wiping off the dust, and this is often done by her own husband. For millions of years, representatives of the fairer sex have been assigned the image of “guardians of the hearth,” and modern men prefer not to remember that previously this “storage” was their only responsibility. It is considered the norm that a husband and wife come home from work at the same time, and the husband goes to rest, and the wife to do household chores. Moreover, more and more often I see complaints from women online that men come home earlier, but cannot even cook dinner for themselves.

Undoubtedly, modern women find it much easier to do household chores than their grandmothers. We have hot water on tap, cleaning supplies, appliances and all that stuff. But who ever said that all these useful things should be managed exclusively by a woman? Very often, a person who works 8 hours a day simply has no energy left in the evening. And it’s even somehow insulting that for some reason it’s the “mothers of families” who have to take care of the house, overcoming fatigue.

Is it possible to convince

A woman cannot change her partner on her own; there is only one way out - to run away. If your feelings for a man are very strong and you don’t want to part with him, then you can try to convince him to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will be able to identify the reasons that influenced the development of hateful attitudes aimed at female representatives, delve into childhood memories, conduct psychotherapy sessions, and eventually get rid of misogyny.

Now you know what male representatives who hate women are called. As you can see, the formation of such a belief is preceded by some events, often from childhood, that provoke such attitudes towards the female sex. Remember that only an experienced specialist will be able to convince a man, to prove to him that he is wrong, believing that all women are terrible.

How to overcome internal misogyny

Essentially, we are talking about uprooting the attitudes and stereotypes that have grown in our minds since childhood. And this is difficult. And it is possible only for those women who already see the problem. Because for those who are unshakably convinced that women are fools, and that beautiful blonde over there obviously got her car for a reason, it is useless to explain anything.

Monitor misogynistic thoughts and try to stop them. Try to refuse Internal Misogyny from misogynistic language and not broadcast stereotypes about women: they harm both you and all women in general.

It must be remembered that any person is, first of all, a person, and not a set of genitals. And his gender does not affect his professionalism or personal qualities.

If you want to delve deeper into self-analysis, you can trace where each negative belief in your head about women came from, who first instilled it in you, and why it is not true.

Conduct an educational program

For example, read gender studies: they will show that sexist myths are just that, myths, and in fact, men and women are not that different from each other. For example, a small selection of HSE: gender studies of research conducted by Russian scientists has been published on the website of the Higher School of Economics. Other similar works can be easily searched through a search engine using relevant queries. Here, for example, is the text Think Again: Men and Women Share Cognitive Skills about the cognitive abilities of men and women.

Look around you

And you will see many wonderful, smart, strong and talented women, media and not so, who are raising children alone, saving In Bashkiria, a woman saved five children from a fire and treating people, doing Katie Bowman’s algorithm: how an MIT graduate helped make the first in history photography of a black hole by science, books are written.

Give women a chance

Don’t refuse to see a specialist because the specialist is a woman. Look first at experience and professional qualities, not at gender. Don’t attack women in life and on social networks, don’t take the side of the aggressors and try to sympathize with the victim (bullying, violence, petty attacks).

Remember that other women are not the evil, envious competitors that society portrays them as, but people just like you. And know that female friendship (which happens - contrary to all statements) makes Female friends are more important than you realized. Here's why. makes us healthier, more harmonious and even helps us build a career.