After the narcissist: How to trust men again?

Today we propose to deal with the topic: “How to recognize a narcissist and recover from his invasion of your life.” In pop culture, narcissists are considered to be those who are obsessed with themselves and narcissism. Psychology gives this phenomenon a broader definition. Narcissism is nothing more than a personality disorder that affects not only a person’s behavior, but also the structure of his brain. It affects approximately 5% of the world's inhabitants. It seems not so much, but this figure is enough for the vast majority of us to at least once happen to meet a narcissist on our way.

And if a short life episode, as a rule, does not leave a big imprint, then those who happen to work with a narcissist or, worse, enter into a romantic relationship, often suffer psychological trauma. In this article on How to Green, we will tell you how to recognize a narcissist, and also share tips on how to ease the emotional burden if fate has brought you together with such an extremely extraordinary person.

If you have children together

If you have children together, you will have to communicate, and this is where the narcissist will use his entire arsenal to get you back or punish you. In this case, try to communicate through intermediaries. This could be a friend, grandmother, lawyer. It is often worth agreeing that you will discuss among yourself only the topic of children and no other. If the child is old enough and has a phone, then they can communicate without you.

If your ex-partner is an abuser, a psychopath, or a narcissist who constantly breaks agreements, doesn't follow rules, and violates your boundaries, you will need leverage. This may be a decision of the court or the guardianship authority, which clearly states the hours of meetings with the child or the method of participation in the upbringing of the child. Don’t be afraid to use these levers, narcissists and abusers don’t understand any other way. And they certainly perceive you as a person whose opinion can be ignored. But the lawyer, the court, the police, the board of guardians, perhaps, can curb their ardor.

ASCENSION TO THE PEDESTAL

Everything started out great... Suddenly, literally out of nowhere, a real prince or the man of your dreams appeared in your life (charming, witty, attentive, generous, etc.). Gaining favor, he placed you on a pedestal and surrounded you with attention. It turned out that you are the “only” and “best” for him. Relations developed rapidly and rapidly. Your friends told you what a wonderful couple you were, and your single friends were jealous.

You may not have had a partner for a long time, you recently came out of a relationship with damaged self-esteem, you really, really wanted to get married, have a family, have children, and then a miracle happened. Communication with the fairy-tale prince seemed magnificent to the point of implausibility. For the first time in your life, you were sure that you had finally met your soul mate, and it is obvious that it will never be as good as with him...

Happiness overwhelmed you, and you wanted to spend every minute with your loved one. The close relationship imperceptibly pushed friends, family and your own interests into the background, and he replaced the whole world for you. In this whirlpool, you easily agreed to leave your job or even moved to another city to be his wife. The fear of being completely financially dependent was destroyed by “his great love.” Or maybe he suddenly found himself without a job, and you had to increase your employment (putting aside personal interests and needs) in order to get through the “bad times” with your loved one. At the same time, financial control was in the hands of the prince. From some point on, he began to decide for you what you need, and what you can do without, and what you can’t afford. At the same time, new wheels for his car are affordable, and there is no way to buy you a dress or pay for a trip to the doctor. One day you discovered that not only finances, but your whole life and you yourself are completely controlled by him and depend on his will, mood or desire.

What will stop him?

He will only stop when you stop being “tasty” to him. Become a “gray stone” - do not give him any emotions, answer in monosyllables, do not give any information about yourself. You can't squeeze water out of a stone. But they will try to do this: touch you in sore spots, tug, press. But you must become impenetrable.

If he writes to you, he writes to you, but not about you. Don't even open any messages or letters from him. If you start reading, you will personalize what is written. And the narcissist always writes about himself. For you, but not about you. Don't believe what he says or writes, good or bad. He just wants contact with you, your attention, and then your emotions.

An example of selfie-narcissists and more

Taking selfies is popular now. It feels like some people live for a good selfie. Or, as an option, everything they do, they do for the sake of a video or photo story, which they will later post on their social network page.

If someone is killed on the street, then perhaps someone will help, but there will be many people who will take out their mobile phone and film in order to post a story later with the comment “What a horror!” It is likely that they are narcissists. For such a video, they will receive admiration for the interesting plot.

In general, traditionally any public activity - actors, politicians, participants in reality shows - almost always have a strong narcissistic part.

New relationship?

Toxic relationships are called that because they poison a person and destroy, sometimes completely, his personality. It doesn't matter how bright, strong and courageous you were before your relationship with a narcissist. Do not flatter yourself - you will come out of them as a deeply traumatized person. And this is very serious, and not just “unlucky in marriage.” You have lost time, energy, self-esteem, self-confidence. How long will it take to recover, to be ready for a new relationship? Everything is individual. In any case, if you have left a toxic relationship, you should take the following steps to restore:

1. Surround yourself with people who value and respect you and with whom you feel safe. If you close yourself off, it won't help. People need people. Don’t listen to anyone, even those closest to you, who will doubt whether you did the right thing by leaving a toxic relationship, or who will further lower your self-esteem.

2. Do everything to recognize and re-evaluate previous relationships. What was all this for? To value yourself and not waste your energy on narcissists. Why did you get into this relationship? Perhaps you grew up in a family of narcissists, perhaps you are used to saving, perhaps you are such a sunny person who did not know that there are not “unhappy” people, but really evil people. Thanks to being in a toxic relationship, you are now learning or have already learned to understand people.

3. Learn to build boundaries and articulate your desires. In a normal, healthy relationship, this happens without any offense or misunderstandings.

4. Remember that trust in people is based on respect. No respect - no trust. First of all, you need to respect yourself. Do not confuse trust with gullibility: gullibility is a childish, infantile trait when you appoint someone as a “good dad” responsible for your happiness.

5. Remember the most important thing: if you left an abusive relationship, then you have done the most important thing. You won. Be proud of yourself!

Recording of 9 webinars from May 2 - July 5 72 hours

This is a series of webinars about getting out of intoxication followed by detoxification from narcissists. This is a step-by-step accompaniment on the path to yourself, starting with the realization that you are in a toxic relationship and ending with restoring yourself and moving to a harmonious relationship.

This course is unique in that the work takes place at all levels of the psyche - emotional, cognitive, behavioral, as well as energetic and spiritual.

If you have realized that your partner is a narcissist and you are in a toxic relationship, then this is not enough. The victim can be aware of everything for years, complain and at the same time be destroyed. In this course you will learn the fastest and most effective way to take control of your life, direct the energy of the crisis to create and realize your dreams.

During our work, we use a deep detoxification method and remove toxicity both from the inside and outside. We free ourselves from the negative emotional charge, cancel the Victim's program and replace it with the Creator's program.

Even if you know all this information and techniques, and have already applied them, working in a group helps to achieve better and faster results due to the resonance effect

Step 1. “How to understand that you are in a toxic relationship?” Recording of webinar 2, May 3, 2021 - 8 hours

The goal is to achieve awareness in the relationship and an understanding of your role in the relationship and the role of your partner, to work through the feelings that were at the beginning of the relationship with the narcissist.

At the webinar you will learn

What is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and what types of narcissists are there?
How does NPD differ from other personality disorders?
How to Recognize Toxic Relationships During the Dating Stage
How to spot narcissists on social media
Why is he so charismatic and charms everyone?
Virtual toxic relationships
Lexical analysis of the dark triad
Stages of a Romantic Relationship with a Narcissist: What to Expect at Each Stage
Defense mechanisms in personality disorders and psychological games
Attachment theory and model of relationship to others and to oneself
Double messages and hypnosis used by narcissists
How to understand that you are in a toxic relationship.
What markers of narcissism and future violence should you know in the early stages?
How to recognize and respond to manipulation so as not to be drawn into a trap
What are the consequences of such a relationship?
What do victims of toxic relationships look like?
Why do predator people choose you?
How to understand which of you is a toxic partner? What if it's you?
How not to enter into and get out of toxic relationships in time at the earliest stages?
What to do if he disappeared after heaps of compliments and gifts?
What self-help techniques to use to avoid addiction
How to overcome the program of involvement in toxic relationships

Step 2. How to survive with a narcissist under the same roof Recording of webinar May 9, 10, 2021 - 8 hours

Goal: learn to interact with and defend against a narcissist, work through negative feelings associated with domestic violence

At the webinar you will learn

About the first and second stages of liberation from the role of the victim
How do you get trapped?
Types and levels of domestic violence
Sexual violence, types, myths
Economic violence and its types
The cycle and stages of domestic violence
Why is domestic violence dangerous?
Why is domestic violence dangerous?
Codependency and psychological games
Stockholm syndrome, traumatic bonds
Peptide addiction to narcissist
Techniques for creating traumatic connections
Conditions for entering stage 2
Manipulations, types of manipulations, techniques
How to understand that you are being manipulated
Assertive behavior
10 rights of an assertive person
How to protect yourself from aggression from people with various personality disorders (narcissistic, borderline, paranoid, antisocial)

At the webinar you will learn

How to Deal with a Narcissist If You Live Together
How to protect yourself from a narcissist
How to respond to his aggression, criticism, ignoring and triangulation
How to deal with manipulation
Learn to restore your mental balance and not lose energy.
Master self-help techniques
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Eye movement desensitization (EMDR)

Goal: prepare for breaking up with a narcissist and work through the negative feelings associated with divorce. You will learn

About the third phase of liberation from the victim program
About the emotional scale in the process of liberation
Domestic Violence Safety Plan
What to do when he hits?
Why are women silent about domestic violence?
5 Types of Victimlaming
How and when to leave a narcissist
Need I say that he is a narcissist?
Is it necessary to take revenge on the tyrant?
Do you need to defend your rights?
Why recycling is good
How to overcome fears: fear of his revenge, fear of being alone, fear of not being able to cope without him
How to free yourself from fear, guilt, disappointment, resentment, irritation, disappointment
Grief for unfulfilled hopes, lost time
How to Reach a Healthy Anger Phase
Assertive behavior
How to Deal with a Narcissist After a Breakup
What to do if you have children together
How not to fall for the repeated election campaign
How to deal with the fear of losing your reputation

You will master the following techniques

Emotional Freedom Technique
Desensitization using eye movements
Narrative writing technique
9 letter method
Breaking emotional ties
"Give me what's mine, take what's yours" technique
Meditations for protection

During the webinar, we work through trauma associated with narcissistic abuse.
Even if you know these techniques and have already used them, working in a group helps to achieve better results due to the resonance effect Step 4. How to overcome withdrawal Webinar recording May 23, 24, 2021 - 8 hours
Goal: resist and not return to the narcissist, work through feelings, which do not allow you to forget the narcissist (positive and negative) you will find out

What happens in the fourth phase of liberation from the victim program
What is a repeat election campaign?
What are the internal and external factors that force you to return, and how to resist them?
What is love addiction and how is it formed and maintained?
Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Chronic Complicated Loss Disorder
Causes of fear and guilt in childhood
Why are you bored with healthy partners?
The origins of the favorite game - “come and go”, “hot and cold”
What is a narcissist's smear campaign?
Who are the flying monkeys and the narcissist's retinue and their goals
When he uses the heaviest artillery that few can resist

You will learn exercises that will allow you to

overcome dependence and responsibility towards the narcissist
cope with the fear of losing your reputation
get rid of envy and jealousy that he is with someone else
free yourself from feelings of guilt, shame, pity for him
get rid of the anger that he is happy with someone else and the desire for revenge
respond assertively to manipulation and attempts to lure you back into the relationship

Goal: free yourself from the toxic influence of narcissistic parents, work through childhood traumas

You will learn

Who are toxic parents?
How to tell if your parents are narcissists
Consequences of destructive narcissistic parenting
Types of Narcissistic Parents
Types of children of narcissistic parents
Reverse parenthood, parentification
Why do narcissistic parents have children?
How childhood violence affects the fate and health of grown-up children who are victims of narcissists
Adverse Childhood Experiences Index
Symbiotic relationship with a narcissistic mother
How to deal with manipulation and suppression of parents
Step-by-step instructions for surviving and leaving your parents

You will learn exercises that will allow you to

Overcome dependence on parents
Erase curses and programs instilled by parents and
Free yourself from anger and hatred
Overcome feelings of guilt and fear of parents

During the webinar, we work through trauma associated with narcissistic abuse. Even if you know these techniques and have already applied them, working in a group helps to achieve better results due to the resonance effect Step 6. Causes of narcissism and how to deal with narcissistic children Recording of the webinar June 6, 7, 2021 - 8 hours Goal: to study how it is formed NPD and APD and prevention methods, how to deal with narcissistic children, work through negative feelings associated with children.

You will learn

Causes of Narcissistic and Antisocial Personality Disorder
The influence of genes, environment, interaction of genes and environment (epigenetics) in the development of personality disorders
Excitation theory, Gray model
Neurobiology of Low Empathy and Lack of Fear in Psychopaths
Studies of twins and adopted children of criminals
Oppositional defiant behavior disorder
The influence of a narcissistic parent on the manifestation of narcissistic traits
Codependency in parent-child relationships
How to protect children from developing narcissism
How to Protect Your Child from a Narcissistic Parent
Perfectionism, investing, initiation
A child as a weapon against an ex-spouse
How to Deal with Narcissistic Children
How to Deal with Narcissistic Adult Children
What is tough love
What is not a pathology in child development
How to Develop Empathy and Morality

You will learn exercises to

Overcome feelings of guilt towards children, fear and shame for them
Protect your child from the influence of a narcissistic parent
Relieve responsibility for adult children

During the webinar, we work through trauma associated with narcissistic abuse. Even if you know these techniques and have already used them, working in a group helps you achieve better results due to the resonance effect Step 7. How to deal with your boss/colleagues and narcissistic clients Recording of the webinar June 13, 14, 2021 - 8 hours
Goal: learn methods of conflict resolution with narcissists at work, work through the narcissists' victim program.

You will learn

How to tell if your boss or colleague is a narcissist
What is bullying at work?
Why do bosses humiliate and devalue employees?
What types of organizations and social behavior are toxic?
Consequences of working with a toxic boss or colleague
How to understand that you need to quit
How to stop being the draft horse that everyone rides
How to put a narcissist co-worker in his place
How to get along with a narcissistic boss
How to Survive a Toxic Work Environment

You will learn

Techniques for assertiveness and self-protection at work
Non-contact methods of protection
Techniques for overcoming fear and guilt before your boss
Ways to recover from abuse and reduce stress

The goal is to restore yourself as a person, increase self-esteem, love yourself. At the webinar you will be able

Find out more about yourself, your personal characteristics, needs, values, abilities
Reveal the structure of your Self, level of self-esteem, subconscious motives, your strengths and weaknesses
Understand what the point was that you went through the meat grinder of a relationship with a narcissist
What lesson did you learn from a toxic relationship?
How to use the experience gained to change yourself and your life

You will learn techniques that allow

Raise your self-esteem
Find inner support
Be within yourself and not dissociate, be in the moment
Forgive and love yourself
Discover your potential and channel it towards your dreams and goals
Be happy no matter what
Become self-sufficient
Strengthen your personal boundaries
Get in touch with your higher self

Step 9. Building harmonious relationships Recording of webinar July 4, 5, 2021 - 8 hours

Goal: learn to choose healthy partners, recognize narcissists and behave assertively with them, build harmonious relationships

You will learn

How relationships affect your brain and health
Amy Banks' cultural relations theory
How to Heal Your Brain Through Safe Relationships
What is the rejection virus and how to get rid of it
What is the relationship paradox and how to overcome it
Red flags in relationships
Indicators of psychologically healthy partners
Signs of healthy and harmonious relationships with people
How to Tell If You're in a Healthy Relationship
Why women's training pushes you into abusive relationships
How to Use the Attribution Theory of Emotions to Tell Whether You're in Love or Not
What is the balance of taking and giving?
How self-esteem affects relationships

You will learn

Determine the security of your relationship
Practice new skills for healthy relationships with people
Process the trauma of past destructive relationships
Create an image of a harmonious partner and harmonious relationships

Who is this course for - who is in a relationship with narcissists - who has already broken up with narcissists and wants to recover

Trainer

Tatyana Dyachenko, crisis psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences

Price

For the entire cycle 22,500 rubles One course 2,500 rubles

Payment - Transfer to Sberbank card 4276 5501 0025 1118 (transfer amount must be added by the sender) Write your first and last name in the transfer. -PayPal This email address is being protected from spambots. You must have JavaScript enabled to view it. (the amount for shipping must be added by the sender or when sending, mark family and friends then it will be free) Western Union - Tatiana Dyachenko, Arizona, USA -Transfer in currency at the Central Bank purchase rate https://sber-spburg.ru/exchange.html

Please notify by email This email address is being protected from spambots. You must have JavaScript enabled to view it. about the desire to participate in the training, from whom and when sent (date and time)

Comments

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0 #47 Irina 12/07/2021 09:18 Interesting and important Step about narcissistic bosses and colleagues. I am a nurse and in such teams there are a lot of toxic people - both colleagues and patients. I think I was lucky with the bosses - there were no conflicts. And there are six of them these are the most unpleasant and repulsive people. I think having new knowledge on step 6 will make it easier to recognize toxins in a team and resist them. There was a lack of such valuable information. Thanks to Tatyana and the team for their work.

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+1 #46 Irina 11/19/2021 11:01 Passed Step 6. Exactly what I needed now. At the suggestion of my mother, a narcissist, my adult son began to talk like her - the whole arsenal - all the manipulations. I immediately stopped communicating. It was scary - is he really in the same place. With the help of the webinar, I began to work through the negative programs that were hung on him. Now the relationship is established, but I will continue to do so. Also, with my daughter, thanks to Tatyana’s webinars, we are learning to understand our feelings. How everything was started. THANK YOU O. Very powerful meditations and rich webinars.

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+1 #45 Irina 15.11.2021 15:35 I walked 5 steps. At first I wanted to go through only steps 5 and 8. But then I decided to go from step 1 to the end. Watching Tatyana’s video, I did tapping and decided to go through all the steps. I thought that the first I don’t need steps, but when I started doing it, it turned out it was all about me. I was just covered in daffodils. I was cutting the connections, unwinding it, but it was something. Until the end of the fifth step, I stopped, I couldn’t do anything, and it seemed like it started again. It felt like it was all going to start again. I mean the persecution of the darts. But fortunately there was peace and quiet. I’ll continue on. I thank Tatyana for her help .

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+1 #44 Maria 10.27.2021 10:36 Tatyana and team! Thank you very much for your help. I bought a course to recover from the ashes. I did tapping, editing, tests. I just came out of some kind of funnel. It was as if everything around me was shining. I became more confident, calmer. I did something that I had been meaning to do for a long time, but didn’t dare to do. I really liked the tapping, it’s very powerful! And meditation is a flower of love in myself. It was wonderful! I realized that every person is beautiful, I am beautiful! You are beautiful! We are all so different and extraordinary. I somehow decreased in volume. The uncontrollable appetite is gone. I now know that only the best awaits me ahead! I’m ready! Hurray aaaaaa!!! Thankfully, my joy has flown to you!

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+3 #43 Irina 10.15.2021 16:02 I went through the first 2 steps of detoxification. My emotions are changing. From anger to calmness. I understand that there is a lot of work to be done. But the result is worth it. Thank you very much Tatyana for the course and for all the work. If only not Tatiana’s video, I wouldn’t even realize with whom and how I live.

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+3 #42 Julia 07/19/2021 04:57 Continuation about my husband. I think I’m already over the grief. In general, I feel like I’m about to do a spring cleaning: I need to pull myself together and do it. But I don’t know exactly how to do it yet. I hope understanding will come while I watch the course. I dream of reaching a clean space around, a healthy relationship someday later, maybe. I finally understand who I am :) without a sense of duality. Before I found out about personality disorders, I thought about myself that I wasn’t very good at all, I just read popular psychology and other useful books and came up with an image of me. That I want to be like this, but I just can’t. Now I see where this duality comes from. I thank Tatyana for her knowledge, it turned out to be priceless for me.

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+2 #41 Julia 07/19/2021 04:55 Hello! I completed 1, 2, 5 and 3 webinars. I thought about working on my relationship with my mother, but it turned out that this was not the only problem. It seems that I have reached the point of indifference, I hope that this is not apathy. Everything works out with mom. She’s already called twice, and now I hear the joy in her voice when the weather is bad, when I’m not in a good mood, etc.. and I understand that she’s calling to find out about money, and not about me. I don’t share anything with her, I tell her everything as if everything is gray, everyday and dull with me. She tries to abuse me on this topic and it doesn’t upset me, it doesn’t make me angry and it doesn’t make me laugh. Smooth. But there is no joy about this either. The only thing that comes to mind is how could I not notice such obvious things before.

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+3 #40 Oksana 01/17/2021 07:24 Hello! I've passed the first step. I really liked it, everything is clear, understandable and important. Even understanding the types of domestic violence, the phases of relationship development, and performing the tapping technique has become much easier. Thank you very much!

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+3 #39 Oksana 01/17/2021 07:16 Hello! I've only completed the first step so far. I really liked it, everything is clear, understandable and important. Even understanding the types of domestic violence, the phases of relationship development, and performing the tapping technique has already become much easier (understanding that you are in a toxic relationship, that it is not your fault, already brings results). Thank you, Tatyana, very much! I turned to psychologists for help, but the result was insignificant. After the webinar I feel better than after working with psychologists. I explained this to myself by the fact that at the webinar I work through my problem in a targeted manner, clearly for the purpose, and not around the bush, as was the case with psychologists. I will definitely go through the next steps.

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+2 #38 Zhanna 01/08/2021 14:55 I know that there is still a long way ahead, and I think I will watch your webinars more than once. It helps a lot that, although I watched the recording, I felt the participation of others, I heard their stories, their reactions to the techniques and understood that I was not inventing anything for myself, as my parents convinced me, saying “all parents wish only the best for their children.” " I heard the stories of other participants and understood that, at a minimum, my parents lied to me about this. and much, much more. I am very grateful to you for the opportunity to cleanse myself of the muck that my parents injected into me for many years and which I considered part of myself for a long time. The course is very valuable and professional. the only drawback that I would note is that there is no way to speed up the video, and since these are recordings of live webinars, at some points everything is very slow and there are long pauses. Thank you again, Tatyana, for your videos and books (I read the one about parents daffodils) and a wonderful course!

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How to tell if you are a narcissist

If you have finally gotten rid of a previous toxic relationship with a narcissist, you may notice that you are afraid to meet new men. What if the new guy is the same? How to understand this? After all, your former partner also didn’t have it written in big letters: “Caution! Psychopath!"

Irresistible

Remember that narcissists love and know how to make a lasting first impression. Very positive. That's why victims choose them. But an ordinary, mentally healthy guy may not strive to hit, he may not even be able to do so.

Narcissists will always tell stories about themselves, even though they are interested in you. Even if they listen to you for a while, they always turn the attention to themselves - yours and everyone around them.

What a coincidence

Narcissists are very good at mirroring. They pick up something in the conversation that is close to you, any attitude you have towards something, and immediately express their complete solidarity with your opinion: “I also adored Roxette at school!” or “Yes, I am a feminist. What’s so surprising about that?” They know how to “probe” their prey. They do not do this consciously, most often they have not read any special literature, it is simply in their nature. They live at the expense of other people, so such insight is the result of adaptation to a “parasitic lifestyle.”

Sick callus

It happens that we, especially at the beginning of a relationship or due to inattention, cause pain to another, offend, not knowing that some topic is painful for a person. And if we have a healthy relationship, this is a signal for us, we will remember someone else’s pain and reaction and, loving another, we will never touch on this topic again. With a narcissist, it's exactly the opposite. As soon as you open up and show your sore spot, the narcissist will definitely (and even regularly) trample on your sore spots. And every time: “Oh, I accidentally!” or “yes, this is a joke!”, or “well, what did you want, you need to work on yourself!”, or “it’s not in vain that this happened to you then!”

Depreciation

Narcissists have a way of invalidating your feelings and making you doubt how you feel. They do it in such a way that then you yourself begin to doubt the correctness of what you perceive, how you react, you begin to doubt your reality. Narcissists always brush off your feelings and problems - this is nonsense, nonsense. And you begin to justify it and devalue yourself.

Not my problem

This is not to say that narcissists lack empathy. They also know how to play it well and sell it. But they never apply it like other people. As soon as you tell about your problem, even a domestic one, the narcissist will most likely refuse to help you under some even very stupid pretext. He will not be able to meet, buy medicine, or look after the child. At the same time, he will arrange the matter in such a way that you will feel guilty for asking for help. But this is not because you asked for something wrong or asked in the wrong way, you are simply asking in the wrong place: the narcissist’s door is tightly closed, he will not open it. He will not exchange energy with you. He will not give, he will only take, having first presented himself beautifully so that you voluntarily and generously give him your emotions and your life.

Help from a specialist in recovery from psychopathic relationships

This is an ideal option, because in this case the victim can safely describe everything that happened to her, express her feelings and worries without fear of criticism and condemnation. She has the opportunity to be understood by a specialist who knows how relationships of this kind work. A subject matter professional will not make the mistake of holding the victim responsible for something that was beyond their control or competence.

The sequence of recovery is also very important. First you need to get rid of the effects of the mind control of the narcissist, destroy the pseudo-personality he created, then explore the vulnerabilities of the victim, and finally identify any other problems that arose in childhood and affect the person today.

Many specialists (psychologists and psychotherapists), who do not understand what control of the victim’s mind by a narcissist is, begin the recovery process by finding out the circumstances that brought the victim into the situation. Then they investigate the victim's relationship with parents and siblings, looking for childhood trauma. This approach does not heal, but leads to strengthening the victim’s conviction that it is she who is to blame for what happened to her.

In contrast to the above, a subject matter expert who understands what mind control is will help uncover the intricacies of what was done to the victim, what methods were used against him, why the manipulator decided to use these particular methods, what effect they had on the mind the victim, her emotions, decisions and actions.

A specialist will help the victim get rid of false beliefs and behavioral patterns of a pseudo-personality, and help restore individuality. It will teach you how to make decisions again, establish independence, teach you how to calculate and avoid other manipulators, how to differentiate destructive control of consciousness and normal processes of healthy influence.

It's very hard work. Recognizing the fact that the person you loved and trusted constantly insulted you, mocked you... This is difficult to come to terms with, difficult to accept. However, recovery from a narcissistic relationship is definitely worth the effort.

Typically, the liquidation of a pseudo-personality takes from one to two years. Of course, these terms are average and approximate, since they depend on many factors, for example, how much time a person devotes to recovery, whether he has constant contact with the manipulator, whether there are other narcissists or psychopaths in his environment with whom he has to contact.