Mr. Green, the protagonist of Guy Ritchie's 2005 cult film Revolver, compared people to drug addicts who are addicted to recognition and approval. Each of us wants to demonstrate to the people around us what generous, smart, beautiful, good and funny individuals we are.
Many people are so dependent on other people’s opinions that they are ready to endure sweat, blood and tears, go to an unloved and uninteresting job, listen to boring speeches from a primitive boss who has never read a single worthwhile book in his life, communicate with envious and toxic friends, colleagues, neighbors and relatives, if only they were noticed, accepted into their flock and told that they were doing everything right.
We are ready to do everything possible and impossible, if only other people would pat us on the shoulder and reward us with another medal, certificate or verbal praise. We sleep and dream that a stranger, who has no idea how and what we live, will approve of our actions and nod his head in agreement.
Dependence on other people's opinions makes us look like monkeys who put on suits, decorated themselves with various kinds of accessories, but did not understand that the recognition and approval of other people does not change the quality of their own life at all, and if it does change, then only for the worse.
It is not only possible, but also necessary to fight against dependence on other people’s opinions, otherwise our whole life will turn into a constant, but completely meaningless competition with our own essence. Instead of living their lives, enjoying every moment of it and going their own way, people dependent on other people's opinions constantly think about whether other representatives of the human race will approve of their actions.
How to stop depending on other people's opinions? We bring to your attention the most effective and popular practical advice, thanks to which you can forget about being dependent on other people’s opinions.
Tip #1. Focus your attention on the current moment in time
To overcome dependence on other people's opinions and stop constantly thinking about what this or that person thinks about you, learn to focus your attention on the current moment in time. Focus on the event that is happening here and now. It is the current moment in time that can rightfully be called the most important event in your life, because the whole life of any person consists of the moments that he lives in the present. The past cannot be returned, no matter how much we want it, and the future is just an illusion and a fantasy that may or may not come true.
If you learn to focus your attention on the current moment of your life and think more about yourself and your affairs, then you will have virtually no time left to worry about whether other people approve of your lifestyle.
Quote for inspiration from Napoleon Hill:
Be free
Try to be yourself. And the more you focus on the idea of your freedom, the better you will feel. Only you can decide what to wear, what to say, what to do. This is only your choice, in which you are free and do not have to look back at anyone. And you will immediately feel the difference.
From the editor
People who are concerned about others' opinions of themselves suffer from insecurity and may believe that self-love is selfishness and bad manners. However, psychologist Vladimir Kuts is sure that these different concepts should not be confused: .
Psychological teenagers and immature individuals are also dependent on other people’s opinions. We all know them very well! Psychologist Anna Vaasi explains how to behave with such people: .
Codependent people are often prone to a pathological fear of “what will they think of me.” Victoria Sando explains what codependency is and how to deal with it : .
Tip #2. Be aware of the fact that people around you prefer to think only about themselves
Almost all people with a healthy psyche think only about themselves, their affairs, problems, worries, joys and failures. Each of us lives in our own world and moves at our own pace, and most individuals simply do not have time to think about the people around them.
If you doubt the veracity of this statement, then simply analyze your normal day. How much time do you spend evaluating this or that person and forming an opinion about him? Do you give up sleep, rest, pleasant time with family and friends just to think about the actions or deeds of some individual? If any thoughts arise in your head about another person, then most often this happens completely spontaneously. Such thoughts appear involuntarily in the head and disappear almost immediately.
So the people around us are busy with their current affairs. Most of them have neither the time nor the inclination to evaluate the thoughts, actions, feelings and deeds of their fellow humans. Those people who spend their lives discussing other people cannot be called mentally healthy, spiritually developed and full-fledged individuals. What difference does it make to you what an inferior person thinks about you (if he thinks!)?
Quote for inspiration from Arthur Bloch:
Reasons for depending on other people's opinions
It is difficult to stop depending on public opinion, but it is quite possible. Initially, it is worth understanding the reasons for this dependence. Here are some of the reasons:
- A person constantly experiences a feeling of imperfection when looking at others. This may concern appearance, material well-being or personal life;
- Competition is present in any society and everyone wants to take first place, even if he denies it in every possible way;
- During the formation of the psyche in adolescence, certain stereotypes and ideas about a good life are deposited in the head of the future personality. In adulthood, a person begins to unconsciously evaluate both himself and others according to these criteria.
Addiction breeds fear
People have several types of fear in relation to society:
- fear of negative evaluation;
- fear of not being accepted in a new society;
- fear of attention deficit in society.
Such fears can lead a person to social phobia.
Tip #3. Be the person you have always dreamed of being!
Do they judge other people by themselves? Some psychologists insist that this statement is true, while others insist that it is a blatant lie and a shameless provocation, but everyone agrees that someone else’s opinion of a person is very rarely based on his own real beliefs and actions. The fact is that every person you know has a certain opinion about you, which does not always correspond to the real state of affairs.
All your dentist knows about you is that you are a patient and polite patient who always refuses anesthesia and endures the worst toothaches. The hairdresser, to whom you once made an appointment for a haircut and were dissatisfied with his work, will think that you are a capricious and eccentric client with unruly hair and a terrible character.
Each of the people you know knows you only from a certain side. Your nearest and dearest people will not be able to fully understand you, since each of us has our own special qualities, which, like the dark side of the Moon, no one will ever see. That is why only you know exactly who you really are and what set of positive and negative characteristics you possess.
Develop your strengths and constructive sides, fight against weak and destructive qualities, always, regardless of other people's approval or censure, act as you want, and simply become the person you have always wanted and dreamed of being!
Quote for inspiration from Pythagoras:
People around you are also concerned about public opinion
You are not paranoid and you are not the only one. People around you also care what people think of them. So the next time someone criticizes you, put yourself in their shoes. Perhaps you did something that this person has long dreamed of and did not dare to do. And now they just want to bring you back to earth. Remember this, and then it will become easier for you to endure criticism and understand the motives of the actions of others.
Just be yourself. Be honest with yourself and admit that you are surrounded by people just like you. They also have problems, they also worry about criticism, they are not perfect either. There are no perfect people who never make mistakes. It’s just that someone, once he stumbles, stops for the rest of his life, and someone, having stepped over his mistake, follows his dream. Let public opinion not become a stopper in your development, and you will still show this world where crayfish spend the winter.
Are you dependent on the opinions of others?
Tip #4. Understand that you can't please everyone
Each person has his own internal philosophy, his own principles, beliefs and outlook on life. Therefore, it is simply impossible to please everyone without exception. Some will admire your way of life, while others will be disgusted.
If you arouse antipathy in someone, then you should not take it personally, because there have been cases in your life when some complete stranger aroused negative feelings in you. There is no need to worry about this, get upset, constantly replay the same situation in your head and think about what you need to correct in yourself in order to earn the approval of this person.
Don't waste your precious time trying to live up to other people's expectations. Live your life in a way that makes you comfortable, and allow other people to follow their own path.
Don’t forget that other people’s opinions should be viewed through the prism of dynamics, not statics. At any moment, this opinion can change in the most dramatic way. Many people give up their initial judgments very easily. And if yesterday your action evoked admiration and approval from someone, today approval can turn into censure. Therefore, it does not matter what other people think about you, because it does not affect your life in any way.
Quote for inspiration from Mikhail Litvak:
You are unique like no other
Remember this once and for all. Don't adapt to those around you. As soon as you let this house of advice into your head, you cease to be yourself. Only there are a lot of people around you, and you are alone. You won't be nice to everyone. And, in pursuit of society, you will give birth to Frankenstein, which everyone likes at least a little.
Instead, just be yourself and remember that you are the only one in the whole world. You won't find exactly the same one. Cherish your uniqueness. Respect yourself. Then those around you will begin to respect you.
Tip #5. Pay attention only to constructive criticism
Sometimes it is impossible to make the right decision without an outside perspective. In such cases, someone else's opinion may have some meaning for you, but only when it is adequate and constructive.
Listen only to the opinions of loved ones and loved ones whom you can completely trust. If you know for sure that this or that person wishes only the best for you and sincerely rejoices at your successes, then you can listen to his opinion.
Don't forget that another person's opinion is just his point of view, and not the ultimate truth. Listen carefully to and thank someone you trust for constructive criticism, but don't rush into a decision. Each person is independently responsible for all his thoughts, feelings, actions and deeds. Take this into account when making your choice.
Someone else's constructive opinion is very good, but only you have the right to decide how to act in a given situation. Therefore, always remember your goals, desires, preferences and individual characteristics. If a person hates oranges because he is allergic to them, then this is not a reason to refuse to eat these healthy and tasty fruits for those people who do not have any allergic reactions to citrus fruits!
Quote for inspiration from Albert Einstein:
Define yourself
If I don't define myself, others define me. If I don't recognize that I have value, and others at that moment tell me that I am worthless, then I will label myself as worthless.
If I give myself the definition that I am simply super, then in my mind “the place is taken”, where “nothing” could be labeled, “I am super” is already emblazoned. Therefore, define yourself, do not wait for others to do it for you.
Tip #6. Analyze your personality
To improve your life and remove dependence on other people’s opinions from it, you need to analyze your own personality. This analysis must be conscious, adequate and objective. Under no circumstances do you carry out an analysis just to punish yourself once again and prove to yourself that you are an insignificant and worthless gray mouse.
Take the position of an outside observer and try to “catch” those obsessive feelings and thoughts that you fall victim to again and again. Pull these thoughts and feelings out of your subconscious and break them down into atoms until they no longer negatively affect you and turn your daily existence into sheer torture!
From early childhood, adults convinced us that good boys and girls should not be angry, angry, irritated or anxious, because some strange aunt or some equally strange uncle might not like it. To prevent these strange adults from being offended by us and thinking badly of us, we must constantly smile and do everything possible to please the people around us.
Comfortable, pliable (plasticine is a stone compared to them!) and dependent on the opinions of others, boys and girls grew up and became adult men and women who still believe that only terrible, disgusting, spoiled people can experience negative feelings and emotions and monsters undeserving of love and respect. And although many people understand that children's attitudes have nothing to do with the reality around them, they continue to believe that public opinion significantly influences their own lives.
But will the Sun stop shining if your lifestyle does not evoke any positive emotions in your neighbor? Will humanity cease to exist if you do what you want, and not your friend? Someone else's opinion is just another person's opinion. Do you have anything to do with this opinion? No way!
Quote for inspiration from Neil Donald Walsh:
How to stop depending on the opinions of others for the most fragile and vulnerable
It seems that everyone you meet deliberately wants to hurt you—to push you, to look at you disapprovingly. You feel like you're being targeted. Even a turtle has a protective shell, but a sensitive person has nothing to hide from negative influences from the outside.
This is how nature intended - some people do not have “claws”. They are very sensitive to the opinions of others about themselves. But they have their own special techniques to succeed in life and stop feeling constant danger from other people. To do this, you first need to understand your characteristics.
The desire to please, to be liked, to receive praise comes from childhood and is natural for a child with an anal vector. He is dependent on the opinion of the main person in his life - his mother. However, the mother does not always understand how important praise is for the child, and therefore she rarely praises. But without receiving evaluation from the mother for a job well done, without receiving approval from her, the child becomes unsure of himself. He experiences fear of doing something wrong, fear of making a mistake. In the presence of an emotional visual vector, all experiences receive a special emotional intensity.
“Mom will love you if you clean the room quickly.” “Of course, go for a walk! I don’t mean anything to you if you can leave when mom has a fever.” Small mother’s manipulations lead to big psychological problems for the child in the future, up to and including the “good boy/girl complex.” If you do not recognize the problem, the relationship of an adult person with society will be built according to the same infantile model.
A person with an anal vector values quality in everything. And he makes the same demands on himself. He wants to be the best, do everything perfectly, have an impeccable reputation, family, and be known as a professional in his field. His natural desire is to be respected at home and at work. If he is not appreciated, his whole life seems to go wrong.
The owner of the visual vector naturally strives to touch the heartstrings of those around him; he wants to be the brightest and most impressive, loved by everyone. But if, according to a child’s algorithm, you want to be good for everyone as an adult, then difficulties arise. Such people treat any criticism very sensitively. For them, this is a manifestation of the dislike of others. And this is unbearable.
Tip #7. Start getting rid of the fears that prevent you from being yourself
Many individuals who depend on the opinions of others understand and realize perfectly well that the thoughts of other people have nothing to do with them. But they cannot feel like free, happy and self-sufficient people, since they are hindered by certain fears.
Sometimes it can be very scary to change your usual way of thinking, try something new and do things that you would never do before. If you are used to living the way you live, are used to listening to the opinions of everyone around you, are used to not paying attention to your needs, are used to thinking that you are worse than others, then getting rid of all these habits is quite difficult.
There are many different ways to get rid of fears, so anyone can use the trial and error method to find their ideal option. Start practicing asceticism, create your own wish map, find time to meditate, try saying affirmations every day, read the right books, watch the right movies, etc. Sooner or later, you will definitely find your own method and gain the opportunity to not only overcome your dependence on other people’s opinions, but also be able to clear your mind of information junk and find peace of mind!
Quote for inspiration from Coco Chanel:
How not to lose your individuality
...and stop depending on the opinions of others?
Our individuality evaporates under the onslaught . How we look, how we behave and what goals we set for ourselves, what we want from life - all this is our individuality. Freedom is the most important thing a person has. To take away freedom means to take away a person’s life. One should never lose one's self. The system is built in such a way that people who are different and different from each other are not always accepted by society. Of course, if we pay attention to the views and opinions of passers-by, we will not be liberated, we will not begin to truly live. Everyone sees themselves differently, so everyone wants to express themselves. Interesting and unique people get lost among thousands of passers-by because they are afraid of other people's opinions.
In order to stop depending on the opinion of society, it is worth understanding that:
- The opinions of others are just opinions, no one forces you to listen to them and change anything. Often people, condemning someone's action, do not notice that they themselves have committed a similar thing. After all, it is always easier to condemn than to understand.
- Sometimes people's opinions about the same thing are completely opposite, and it will not be possible to please the whole society as a whole. There will always be someone who will find something negative even in the most noble deed.
- It is impossible to live constantly looking at others; your personal opinion should always come first.
The way others see us is not us
What others think about us never touches the truth. All ideas are illusions. A person will not be able to immerse himself in your state, probe your inner world and your vision of it.
The opinions of others are the complete opposite of our true knowledge and values. When you listen to others, agree and blame yourself for being different, it puts an end to your personality and its development. Remember: what others think about you is not who you are.
Surround yourself with the present
Our environment influences us - that's a fact. Among deceitful and hypocritical people we become spoiled. Try not to be around people you don't like. Look for people who are like you, non-judgmental and willing to listen. Choose the right company, this is very important for the further formation of your personality.
Your choice
You are your choice. The main thing is to do it without thinking. Don’t lie to yourself, talk to yourself, ask provocative questions, but answer them honestly. Know your weaknesses and strengths. Confidence in yourself and your abilities will not give anyone a chance to attract attention, and no one will be able to offend you and your views.
Gossip
Gossip creates problems and can make mountains out of molehills like nothing else. Don't create gossip or listen to it. Understand: if they talk about you, you are always ahead. But who are these people who are so interested in other people's lives? It's simple: they have a surprisingly small world, and they have not seen anything beyond their stereotypical knowledge. When they come across an interesting and somewhat strange person who is trying to express himself, they condemn what they cannot understand. There will always be a herd in any society.
Read more: How to become more confident in yourself
Immunity
Develop an immunity to strength and special indifference to the opinions of others. All this only complicates your path. Do and look the way you want. There will be no other chances and life for this.
Tip #8. Objectively evaluate people who express their opinions about you
If you want to forget about what it is to depend on other people’s opinions, then you need to learn to objectively and adequately evaluate those people who express their opinions about you. How to do it? Now we'll tell you!
If, for example, you met a neighbor on the landing whose shape is far from ideal, and she casually told you that it would not hurt you to lose a few extra pounds, then you do not need to be upset and immediately run to the refrigerator to throw it out. all high-calorie foods. Turn off your emotions, take the position of an outside observer and objectively evaluate your neighbor.
Can an overweight woman give you this kind of advice? Is there any point in listening to the opinions of those people who are not role models? It often happens that toxic people who express their opinions about you are simply jealous of you, want to ruin your mood, lower your self-esteem, etc.
If a person has achieved success in one area or another and advises you something in a polite manner, then you can listen to such advice. If a person who has not achieved anything in life is trying to impose his opinion on you, then why should you listen to him?
Why do you care what your neighbor thinks of you? Let her first put her body in order and, through her example, prove to herself and those around her that her advice has a right to exist. If people were more concerned with themselves and their own affairs, then they simply would not have time to discuss and judge other people.
Quote for inspiration from Cristiano Ronaldo:
Abstract from pride and shame, do not get attached to positive reviews
If positive reviews mean a lot to you, then all the negative ones will inevitably touch and hurt. But no one considers positive reviews their problem, no one complains about them. We become attached to positive assessments and begin to especially appreciate people who consider us extraordinary, beautiful, and kind. But the more one pole means to us, the more the other weighs.
If you really want to free yourself from the importance of human evaluation, then you will have to free yourself from everything in general. That is, it should no longer matter whether people like you or not.
It happens that when alone with yourself you begin to think and tell yourself how “cool and smart you were”, how “great everything turned out for you”, you slightly exaggerate your success in order to see yourself above others for at least a few seconds. Then life will immediately try to remind you with a beautiful light blow where you really belong. Your place is at the level of others. But since you imagine yourself to be superior, you will have to be dunked a little in the shit so that true balance is quickly restored. Because you are as extraordinary as you are a complete nonentity. We are all the unity of these two opposites.
Therefore, free yourself from shame and from the feeling of your own importance in the sense of superiority over others.
Tip #9. Spend less time on social networks
Before the advent of social networks, people took photographs for only one purpose: to preserve the memory of a fun trip, an important event, a long-awaited meeting, etc. Photos dear to the heart were printed out and stored in albums, which were shown only to close and dear people.
Nowadays, most people take pictures only to post the next photo on a social network and collect as many likes as possible. Comments and ratings from complete strangers, many of whom the user who posted the photo is not familiar with, become the criteria by which the level of success is measured in the modern world.
In order for other users to rate your photos highly and leave pleasant comments, you need to constantly post new photos, otherwise people will think that your life is not bright, interesting and exciting enough. That is why individuals who depend on other people’s opinions and likes constantly take new photos and regularly post them on social networks. And to make these photos interesting, attractive and arousing delight and envy among other people, active users of social networks have to constantly visit new places, buy branded clothes, hang out in nightclubs, meet boring and uninteresting acquaintances, etc.
If you want to overcome addiction to other people's opinions, you need to spend less time on social networks. Ideally, you should give up using social networks at least for a while, because living for show and the meaningless pursuit of likes, comments and subscribers takes a lot of vital energy and does not allow you to rest and relax.
Quote for inspiration from Pierre Boiste:
How to learn to be independent?
Accepting yourself as you are
One of the most common questions at trainings is: “How to get rid of sensitivity to what others think about you?”
Is it necessary to do this at all? Man is a collective, not a solitary being. His life takes place in various relationships. Therefore, it is good if the opinion of those around you matters to you. Sensitivity in this way, on the contrary, is a very useful and strong feeling. The main thing is not to create an enemy out of her who will oppress her for the rest of her life. Experts in the field of psychology say that in order to get rid of addiction, you need to direct its power in the right direction and learn to use it for good.
What desires are hidden behind the fear of condemnation? Do you like it? Save the relationship? Feeling good? All this applies exclusively to positive and beautiful motives! Therefore, first you need to turn to your true aspirations, think about what you really want.
You just have to remind yourself more often: there is no anomaly in this. Anyone can experience the fear of being judged. For any person, the opinion of those around him is important.
Thanks to this sensitivity, you are capable of empathy, you can feel what others are experiencing. And empathy is wonderful! Therefore, do not strive to get rid of the fear of condemnation. Try to love the part of yourself that is so sensitive to the opinions of others.
Any famous person, any star of show business, cinema or sports, may experience fear of disapproval. Even Olympic champions, successful businessmen, artists, actors - everyone has it. Only some to a greater extent, and some to a lesser extent. But they have the tools to transform their fear.
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Relaxation
Do you want to keep others' opinions under control? The stronger the desire, the more your head will be occupied with unnecessary thoughts. You won't be able to be yourself. The environment will begin to reject you, and you too. Relax!
We start with the body: exhale and “reset” the hands down. As you exhale, release the desire for control. You need to stop creating a “good impression” on the outside. Instead, you need to return to yourself, that is, move from impressing others to expressing yourself. From impression to expression (from imitation to expression).
Everything that happens next is absolutely unimportant. Relax! There is no need to decide anything, keep it under control. It's still out of your control.
And if at this moment it seems to you that something bad has happened, do not reproach yourself. Later you will understand: even this was correct. Right for you!
Coming to terms with your own self
Only your authenticity will allow you to attract the right people into your life, “your” people, and stop being afraid of the opinions of others and being dependent. Do you want to be like someone else? Could there be anything worse than “I am no longer me”? Understand that wanting to be someone else erases your self. And when it disappears, it can no longer be with you or with others.
Authenticity is the best gift! When you are sincere, only those people who like you for who you are are attracted. They certainly won't be able to turn their backs on you for who you really are. Because it was precisely these qualities that attracted them.
But those who love your “ostentatious” qualities may later hate you for deception. In this case, it is better to hate yourself for who you really are. At least it deserves it.
Authenticity gives freedom. Vulnerability appears, but there is nothing to lose. By taking a step towards yourself, towards vulnerability, you recognize your own imperfections and improve your well-being.
It's not scary, even if you have someone to lose. Only those people who are “wrong”, not yours, will leave. This will happen because there was no love and there never will be. It is impossible to love only one side of a person. This feeling is holistic: both to your light and to your darkness.
Become a source of inspiration
The desire to be loved is a manifestation of selfishness. A person thinks only about himself, seeking the love of those around him.
The desire to inspire is the opposite side of egocentrism. Direct your aspirations to help others, become a source of inspiration.
Someone may think: I have nothing to inspire, I am nothing but imperfection. Yes, everyone can make mistakes. But even such moments can serve as an example for someone. If you look inside, you can only see your own ego, which has suffered from a mistake. But once you turn your attention to those around you, make sure that for someone you are a hero.
Remember, super heroes always have at least one flaw: Achilles has a heel, Superman has kryptonite. There is not a single film where the hero has no weaknesses at all. No one would watch them, because the viewer will not be able to identify with himself and will not experience empathy.
It turns out that to become someone's role model, you just need to be imperfect. So be them, inspire!
Abstraction from shame and pride
You should not get attached to a positive reaction, positive feedback. If they begin to mean a lot, then the negative will definitely begin not only to cling, but also to hurt.
Everything positive is not considered a problem; it is not customary to complain about good things.
Often people become attached to positive assessments, and assign special value to those who consider them beautiful, extraordinary, and kind. But if the importance of one pole increases, the other will also become more significant.
Therefore, the desire to free yourself from the fear of condemnation also presupposes getting rid of dependence on praise. That is, it should no longer matter to you whether they love you or not.
It happens that you say to yourself: “today you were the coolest,” “you did great,” slightly exaggerating your success, with the intention of being superior to others in your own eyes for at least a few seconds. Life immediately shows you with a beautiful light kick where your place is – on a level with others. But you decided to rise above others, so you have to plunge into the mud. This is necessary to restore balance. After all, in fact, in every person there is as much wonderful as there is disgusting. Everyone maintains the unity of opposites.
Therefore, you will have to free yourself not only from shame and fear of condemnation, but also from a sense of self-importance in the sense of advantage over others.
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Self-determination
If a person cannot decide who he is, determine his value, others will do it for him. Try to tell someone who does not recognize his worth that he is mediocrity, and this very label will be fixed in his mind.
If a person defines himself, then the place in consciousness is already occupied. Where “I AM SUPER” is written in big letters, “mediocrity” no longer fits. Therefore, you don’t need to wait for others to label you; have time to decide for yourself.
Focus on what's important
Think about it, is it really important for you to achieve someone’s love at any cost? Try to focus on what really matters. Shift your desires from the sector I want to “have” to the sector I want to “become”. When it becomes more important, your actions are directed towards achieving this goal. Everything around changes, appears in a different light. A feeling of freedom from other people's opinions. What matters is not what they think of you, but who you become.
In this case, critical comments in your direction will help you develop. Critical people will stimulate your self-love so that you work on your mistakes. This will inevitably lead to personal growth. Therefore, take criticism with gratitude.
Focus on simple things that will help you feel free. You can become happy by helping other people. For example, provide useful, high-quality information in the form of texts and videos. Let every small action change you. Don't strive to be the best, give the best. This is something that you definitely can and definitely control. Even one person you make happy will give you more positive emotions and self-confidence.
When you take a long-term view, you realize that criticism is more beneficial than praise. And this means goodbye to dependence on approval!
Liberation
The more you can focus on personal freedom, the better you will feel. And only you will be able to determine for yourself: how to dress, what to say, what to do, where to go. This is your free choice, which you will accept without fear of what others will think. The difference will be immediately noticeable.
Recommendations from psychologists on how to let go of the situation and not think about it
What to do if there is fear?
Ask yourself the question: “How will it end?” Logic and common sense in this case can greatly
help. Ask: “If I do what I want, what will happen?” And honestly give yourself full perspective.
The husband will be offended, fall into deep depression and become an alcoholic. Mom will worry and drink valerian endlessly. The girlfriends will all faint at once. And the geography teacher will urgently organize a parent meeting to raise money for her son’s rehabilitation.
Weigh the real negative consequences of your decision. And then paint a picture of happiness. I am a free woman. I have the opportunity to take care of myself and find new hobbies. I can communicate with interesting men and spend weekends with my girlfriends.
