What to do if your wife corresponds with someone else on the Internet

The vast space of Internet resources for communication involves bringing people together by interests, working communication and finding your soulmate. But it often happens that married women are spotted on dating sites. For men, the news that his wife is chatting with someone else on the Internet comes as a real shock. However, if you think about this phenomenon, a spouse's interaction with another man on social media is not such a surprise. To understand her motives, to understand what was the impetus for such an act and how to fix everything, it is worth reading the following article.

What pushes her to do such an act?

Before starting a showdown on this basis, it is worthwhile to analyze the situation globally and understand at what point she decided to start communicating with someone else. Here are the most popular reasons:

• Boring, measured life . When the relationship with her husband loses its edge, life goes on the “well-trodden” road, the thought arises about whether the woman has missed something important in her life? This period most often occurs during a midlife crisis, when spouses have established themselves as partners and know what to expect from each other. Work, children, and everyday worries overwhelm her. Relaxed communication with a stranger online with a slight hint of flirtation or frank virtual intimacy comes to the rescue.
• The husband is not interesting as an interlocutor . It is worth thinking about how long ago you had conversations with your wife where general harmony was achieved at the level of simple interaction? How engaging is her conversations with her husband? If the answer to both questions is negative, then she will probably look for an interesting alternative on the side. Particularly online.
• My husband doesn't pay enough attention . When there is not enough attention from the person closest to her, a woman needs to look for a new source of it. There are men on various social networks who can shower her with compliments and pay a lot of attention. Sensitive women really lack this.
• There's not enough romance . It's as simple as that, she wants romance. Relationships, like worn shoes, lose their neat appearance and luster over time. To make her emotions brighter, she begins to look for someone else’s lost spouse or even her ex, who will give her the necessary boost of romance.
• I would like to gain a new communication experience. Communication may not be intimate or romantic. To exclude this reason, it is worth analyzing how often the wife has the opportunity to contact other people and how extensive her social connections are. Most likely, she's just lonely.
• The desire to begin real betrayal through correspondence . Yes, communication on the Internet is an excellent basis for finding a future sexual partner. Real life is full of dangers, but here your hands are free and there is no responsibility. Not only men are not averse to finding a short-term hobby; women need it no less.

Decide the fate of your family

Having learned the truth about his wife's betrayal, you need to make a difficult decision. Suspicions, doubts, mental pictures are one thing. But it’s completely different to know for sure that the wife had intimate correspondence with another man behind her back or even met with her lover.

You shouldn’t act recklessly, because emotions can cause you to do something that you will regret later. Take a break a day, think about the situation and your future. There are not many options for the development of events:

• If you divorce your unfaithful spouse, you can first take revenge on her for cheating.
• Try to start a family by talking some sense into your wife and restoring the relationship.
• Pretend that nothing happened and live as before.

When making a decision, you should take into account not only emotions, but also the consequences: division of property, custody of children, relationships with relatives, friends, etc.

How to quickly end a relationship

It is easy to separate when you are not married or there are no children or common property in the family. But you won’t be able to just break up with a cheater if you have a child or a shared apartment.

As a rule, when a man demands a divorce, arguing by correspondence, the unfaithful wife immediately begins to deny what happened. The standard excuses are used:

• everything is not as you think;
• he means nothing to me;
• I will stop communicating immediately;
• you are the only one for me.

If you have evidence, you can present it to speed up your divorce. Then you can skip the part where the woman pretends to be an insulted innocence.

How to save a family

You can try to improve your relationship with your spouse if you still have feelings. Whether it works out or not depends on the degree to which the wife is involved in the correspondence.

You should not report an invasion of privacy if you plan to save your family.

It's one thing to restore feelings when she's looking for attention and admiration. And it’s completely different when you correspond with a long-time lover or actively meet people from a dating site.

Each family goes through this path in its own way, but in general the following stages can be distinguished:

1. Tell your wife that you know about the correspondence. Communicate your feelings that you are ready to restore the relationship together and save the family.
2. Find out the reasons, duration of the correspondence and how serious it is.
3. Try to correct problems in relationships that led to third-party communication.
4. Communicate more with each other, spend evenings together.

When the relationship improves, under no circumstances remember what happened. You have to get over it and get over it. It was as if nothing had ever happened.

How much of the blame in this situation lies with the man?

Because of a good attitude towards themselves, women do not strive to look for a possible alternative or just a pleasant interlocutor. Due to the fact that men do not have as strongly developed a sensory analyzer as women, they may not understand their role in this situation. Therefore, if it is difficult to understand the current problem, it is worth reading the possible options for the husband’s influence on his wife’s desperate decision to start communicating with strangers on the Internet:

• Her husband is rude to her. It often happens that a man relaxes and stops being kind to his wife. A gentle kiss goodbye is replaced by short, sharp requests not to interfere. From such rudeness and inattention, anyone will decide to look for an alternative. For now it’s online, but it could go further if the necessary measures are not taken.
• The husband does not notice her beauty . Yes, over time, the spark of interest in a relationship goes out. But a woman who strives to meet her husband’s expectations of beauty wants to see at least some reaction on his face. If all her efforts go unnoticed, then her attractiveness will be appreciated by strangers on the Internet.
• Her husband openly humiliates her and negatively affects her self-esteem . Many husbands do not even notice what offensive remarks they can make towards their wives. This also applies to excess weight after the birth of a child, and over-salted soup. Such offensive language hits sensitive women straight to the heart. And even if she does not give a visible reaction, she experiences it deeply inside herself.
• The husband is not interested in her as a sexual partner . There are many men online who are interested in other people's women from a sexual point of view. A non-binding relationship also attracts married ladies when they do not receive sexual satisfaction in bed with their own husband.
• The husband does not strive to maintain a relationship with his wife on a friendly level . Her online communication is not necessarily sexual in nature. Men do not perceive their wives as friends, while he is her only friend. If you learn to understand her, share your experiences, and listen carefully, the relationship will become noticeably stronger.
• The husband is overly jealous and does not give the opportunity to look for contacts in the real world . Sometimes a man, without realizing it, pushes his woman to communicate online. Excessive control over the sphere of communication of his wife attracts her to the network, where this control is noticeably weaker.

This is how husbands themselves push their wives to take the desperate step of communicating with a stranger. In most cases, this will remain a simple episode for her. But spouses should find a reliable level of interaction in order to preserve the fragile world of family happiness.

How to understand how far the situation has gone?

Still, women attach much more importance to such communication than the men who communicate with them. And in order to understand how seriously to take this situation, it is recommended to analyze its various aspects. Here are examples to evaluate how far communication has gone:

• She's talking to her ex . This is more of a negative sign than a positive one. After a breakup, as a rule, only good moments are remembered. Walking together, gentle sex, sweet love. She lacks this in her real family life, and she goes to her past for impressions.
• A social network where communication takes place . For example, if she communicates from a fake VKontakte , then there is nothing to worry about. This way she ensures the anonymity of communication and can interrupt this connection at any time. If communication takes place on Viber or WhatsApp , this requires the interlocutor to have at least one personal contact - a phone number. This moment should make the husband think.
• Ask her how she sees this situation . The easiest and fastest way is to ask her directly about it. There is a risk that she will lie, but more often in such calm, frank conversations the woman opens up.
• Analyze the correspondence. Upon finding it or reading it with your wife. Only after understanding what the essence was (virtual sex, pleasant communication, or something else), you can develop a strategy to eradicate the need for your wife to seek contact from the outside.
• Take into account the conditions under which the husband learned about the fact of communication with another . Accidentally saw a photo of someone else's male genitals on her phone - that's bad. She blabbed about some Fed, who advised her how to marinate chicken - it’s good. The examples are taken out of context; everything is determined individually for each situation.

What can it mean for a spouse to communicate with another man?

If your wife is texting another guy, try to first understand the nature of their communication. Then just think about what to do next. The following options are possible for a wife to communicate with other men.

Communication with an old friend / classmate / childhood friend

The most innocent and rosy option for a spouse is when the wife has known this person for a long time, for example, he belongs to one of the following categories:

• childhood friend;
• classmate;
• colleague.

In this case, you have no reason to be jealous. Such innocent communication does not pose a threat to family life, because it is not taken seriously by the woman herself. After all, a wife often does not consider her friend or colleague as a man.

If you are still worried and have doubts about your spouse’s attitude towards this person, then it is better to talk to her frankly than to torment yourself with suspicion. After all, omissions between a couple can lead to negative consequences for the family.

When you are sure that your wife is communicating with another man simply because he is her friend or classmate, then do not interfere with her. Nothing wrong with that. After all, a woman, while in a relationship, should not stop communicating with other people, including representatives of the stronger sex.

If you try to insist that your spouse stop contacting other men, this may lead to discord in the family. You have no right to limit your beloved's communication. Otherwise, she will feel like a cage, and the feelings will gradually fade away.

Husbands react especially negatively when their beloved conducts personal correspondence. They think it's quite an intimate moment. If you think you can find something forbidden in the messages, just ask your wife to show her the SMS history. If she has nothing to hide, she will have no problem showing it off. But be prepared that your wife will hold a grudge against you. When they get into personal matters or don’t trust you, it’s very unpleasant.

Flirting with another man

Another option, when there is already something to panic about, is for the wife to flirt with other men. Here you should understand that flirting can be different.

The following options are possible:

1. A woman simply loves the attention of men and, in order to get it, begins to flirt with them. At the same time, her love and respect for her husband remain unshakable.
2. The wife does not feel loved and important to her partner. In this case, she is looking for tenderness and care through communication with other young people.
3. The spouse feels sexual dissatisfaction. In such a situation, the matter may not end with just flirting; there is a risk of betrayal.
4. The woman has grown cold towards her husband. If the feelings are gone, the wife can look for them with other men. At the same time, girls are not always in a hurry to leave the family, for example, because of small children.

If you see that flirting is going too far, your spouse is openly showing her sympathy for another man, then talk to her frankly. Under no circumstances should you withdraw into yourself or create scandals. Only by finding out the reason can you understand how to proceed.

Also, do not insist on stopping communication. If a woman wants, she will still continue to do it in secret and consider you a tyrant. That is, you will not solve the problem, but will only make it worse.

How to prevent this communication?

To eliminate the risks of your own wife communicating with other men, you need to take a few simple measures. Women do not need exclusive treatment; it is enough to show them that her husband is interested in this relationship. Here's what will reduce the risk of communicating on the side:

• Constantly take an interest in her affairs, household chores and worries. If you address her everyday troubles more often, a feeling of need arises.
• Periodically show her signs of attention: invite her to a cafe, help around the house, notice her new manicure or hairstyle. These little things make a woman a happy companion in the life of an attentive man.
• Provide great sex. Mutual understanding in bed will significantly reduce the risk of third-party connections, and not only on the Internet. Sensitive women are sensitive to the release of oxytocin that results from great sex. If you maintain this feeling regularly, she will not have any thoughts about starting communication with a stranger.
• Determine her area of ​​interest. If you actively engage in her life through knowledge of the inner world, she will respond with gratitude to the initiative shown. Psychologists say that active expression of interest increases trust on the part of the interacting party. It is worth using this knowledge to strengthen your marriage.
• Include her in your activities where she has not participated before. This symbolic sign will give her a feeling of moving forward in the relationship, increasing the level of mutual trust. Such things are not in vain for women who have almost given up on their marriage.