The concept of conscience includes a person’s internal assessment of his own behavior for compliance with moral principles and norms. This is a kind of analysis of one’s actions and thoughts from a critical point of view.
To varying degrees of development, a sense of conscience is inherent in every person. This confirms that the moral component is an integral part of a full-fledged personality. As Leo Tolstoy said:
Conscience is the memory of society, assimilated by an individual
Possessing this quality allows a person to put himself in the place of others and respect their feelings and experiences. Conscience is formed on the basis of knowledge acquired by a person about moral standards. Based on this knowledge, ideas about good and evil, bad and good are formed.
There are several components that the concept of conscience includes:
- the ability to honestly and objectively evaluate one’s actions, feelings, thoughts,
- own internal rules, formed on the basis of the moral norms of society,
- a sense of responsibility for every action taken and word spoken,
- the ability to control oneself and restrain oneself within the framework of generally accepted rules.
How does a person feel guilty?
From childhood, every person is instilled with moral and moral principles that are accepted in society. Without this, it is impossible to imagine normal socialization of the individual. When an action, word or thought diverges from these rules laid down from an early age, a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself inevitably appears.
You can read: A complete list of human feelings and emotions
A person finds it difficult to bear the fact that he could not live up to his inner beliefs. A negative assessment of one’s behavior and worry about the consequences are called guilt. Thus, the appearance of guilt is directly related to the fact that a person deeply regrets what he has done.
Reason for appearance
Many people are familiar with the feeling of pressure felt in the soul, a stream of endless thoughts, informing that the job is done and the situation can no longer be corrected. If this state of affairs drags on and a person does not take any action to correct what he has done, then after mental anguish comes a feeling of guilt, giving way to depression. In this case, it is absolutely unimportant whether the individual is really so seriously guilty. It is important how the individual evaluates his own actions.
Remorse is a process in which a person becomes a judge of his own personality. However, such a court, just like a trial in real life, is not always fair, but its significant difference is its integrity.
The feeling of guilt is often quite dangerous for an individual, because he, consumed by this feeling, destroys his own personality. A prolonged and persistent feeling of guilt brings discomfort and causes harm not only to the individual himself, but also to those around him. This is the main problem with remorse.
Below are the most common reasons that give rise to pangs of conscience, namely:
- deception;
– causing undeserved offense to loved ones;
– ignoring requests, orders, instructions, instructions related to work activities;
– thoughtless statements of an offensive nature, uttered in a fit of anger;
– disclosure of entrusted secrets;
– inappropriate behavior due to the influence of alcoholic intoxication, for example, at a corporate party;
– committing acts that contradict a person’s existing moral principles;
– secrets from a marriage partner or parents;
– events that gave rise to tragic consequences (for example, injuries, death).
The above list is just the most common reasons, but there are also a huge number of factors that cause mental anguish. After all, each person has an individual threshold of conscientiousness.
What are the main forms of guilt?
In psychology, it is customary to distinguish three main forms of guilt.
Reasonable guilt
It arises when a perfect act really diametrically diverges from the norms of morality and morality. A person pays for a past mistake with worries and anxiety.
This is a kind of vaccination against similar actions in the future. A person realizes that he did something wrong, that it caused pain or harm to someone, and begins to regret what he did. In this way he receives atonement for his negative behavior.
Existential guilt
To better understand its essence, you can divide this form into 3 options.
1. A person regrets what he did not do in his life. This is due to unrealized potential, missed opportunities, unwillingness or fear to change the future. From time to time, such sensations arise in every person and ideally they should become an impetus for active actions to improve the existing reality.
2. A person regrets that he spends little time with his family or loved ones. This can also be expressed in experiences associated with a lack of mutual understanding. In this case, you need to realize that relatives cannot stay nearby all your life. In any case, they will be forced to spend some time separately, but this is not a tragedy.
3. A person regrets that he does not understand the Divine plan. He is depressed by the withdrawal into routine and daily bustle and the inability to fully understand the meaning of his existence and the principles of building the world.
Unreasonable guilt
Regardless of what actually happened, a person cultivates a feeling of guilt inside. He shifts responsibility for other people's actions onto himself, exaggerates his own mistakes, is embarrassed to be happy, to stand out, to attract attention. Often it is this form of guilt that turns into neurotic disorders, which must be dealt with under the supervision of specialists.
More information about the types of guilt in the video:
How to get rid of remorse
How often, after committing any act, a person feels remorse, he is troubled by the pangs of conscience, and is gnawing at a feeling of guilt. Often such torments have a reason, but it also often happens that they overcome a person for no reason. At the same time, some individuals have learned to cope with this very well, while for others it can plunge them into a whirlpool of depression. That’s why it’s so important to learn to overcome feelings of remorse.
Finding out the reasons that gave rise to it and changing your attitude towards the situation that caused mental anguish will help you cope with this scourge.
Having done something unseemly, you should not immediately classify yourself as a “bad” person. It must be remembered that every human subject makes mistakes. Therefore, one should fully accept what happened, and not just its individual aspect, and analyze the reason that led to these unseemly actions. It is also important to remember the time when mental torment appeared and soberly consider whether there is actually some guilt or not. If a conscious analysis leads to the fact that the basis of the experience is only an illusion, then it will become much easier to overcome.
If the conclusions led to the realization of the insignificance of guilt, then it is necessary to understand that this has already happened and there are no reasons for self-torture. You need to learn from what happened and determine your future behavior in similar situations, but torturing yourself is not constructive.
In addition, there are at least two ways out of any supposedly “hopeless” situation. Hence, those suffering from “bullying” of conscience are faced with the following prospect: either continue to suffer further, or take at least some action to correct the situation.
Since conscience is the ability of people to determine their own moral standards, boundaries of morality, rules of behavior and the ability to control their compliance, the best way out is sincere repentance and, as a result, an apology to the injured party.
Why are people tormented by their conscience?
If conscience is a tool for self-control and evaluation of one’s actions, then it is precisely it that helps a person realize that one of the actions he has committed does not correspond to his concept of morality. The individual arranges a trial of himself and pronounces a sentence on himself. In this case, it all depends on character traits. Someone, even having committed an objectively negative act, will not worry about this for long and his moral torment will quickly fade away.
Others, on the contrary, tend to dramatize. They deliberately screw themselves up and mentally inflate the scale of their mistake. Moral torment gradually develops into depression and a feeling of self-hatred.
Repentance
If some situation from the past bothers you so much that you even feel physically ill, if self-blame is really caused by a past bad deed, the best solution would be repentance, an apology to the person who was offended or betrayed by you. If you can apologize to your face, that's great. You just need to overcome your pride and talk about what happened. But this option is not always possible, and therefore sometimes you can repent without the presence of the person himself. After all, getting rid of the pangs of conscience is not necessary for him, but for you. It is likely that he himself has long since forgotten everything, forgiven and let go of the past.
An apology can be written on paper in the form of a message, and it does not have to be sent. If this allows you to free yourself from the pangs of conscience, you can even burn it in the end as a sign of forgiveness of yourself. You can also use the “empty chair” technique, imagining the same person sitting in the place. You can tell him everything - from the reasons for your actions to sincere bewilderment about the latter. In the end, of course, it is worth apologizing.
This method is used by psychotherapists in cases where a person is tormented by situations related to deceased relatives or friends. Here, this is generally the only way for a person to apologize and pour out his soul.
What does the concept of “conscience” mean?
There are 3 approaches to the concept of conscience:
- religious,
- psychological,
- philistine.
They differ in motives and meaning attached to this word. It is necessary to become more familiar with all three meanings.
Decoding the concept
From the point of view of religion, conscience is the presence of God or a particle of the Universe in a person. Many religions attribute conscience to the spiritual “instincts” of a person. It is he who helps distinguish good from bad. In religion, synonyms for the word “conscience” are heart and soul.
From a psychological point of view, conscience is a person’s critical consideration of his actions and thoughts. Each individual has his own criteria that cannot be crossed. Very often society has a great influence on conscience.
From a common point of view, conscience is an inner voice that prohibits doing bad and wrong. The stronger a person’s will, the more the seeds of conscience sprout in him.
Conscience is a human volitional mechanism that forms moral and moral principles. This quality refrains him from bad deeds (theft, lies, hypocrisy). Conscience fosters moral principles and makes spiritual preparation for the temptations of the outside world.
When a person goes against his formed beliefs, he begins to be tormented by remorse. His internal controller “eats” him and forces him to admit what he has done.
The development of conscience is determined by the collective life of human individuals and the formation of intelligence. This is a noticeable difference between humans and all other species of living organisms. They have a great achievement - they are endowed with the ability to think. Animals don't feel remorse because they don't have one. They live according to the laws of the herd or pack, and all their actions are determined by instincts.
What does it mean to “act according to your conscience”?
To act according to conscience is to behave in accordance with the moral principles accepted in society. However, in addition to the public, a person has a personal self-awareness. Before committing an act, he considers it from the perspective of both personal and social consciousness. That is why sometimes the boundaries can move apart. One person may consider some action unacceptable, but for another it will become the norm.
An example would be a person who drinks constantly. He appears drunk in public places, seeing nothing wrong with it. In contrast, the average individual will be very embarrassed and ashamed to remember going to the store while drunk. The same example applies to noisy teenagers swearing in public places. This is normal for them, and a well-mannered adult would be ashamed to behave this way.
Based on this, we can understand that each person is primarily guided by his own value system. A person will not cause a feeling of shame in another if their life guidelines do not coincide.
It's time to understand the concept of an "unscrupulous person." How should one behave in order to fall within the framework of this definition? What moral principles should we follow?
Who is an unscrupulous person?
Unscrupulous person – having distinctively bad qualities of internal morality. He acts badly towards others without even thinking about the harm he causes. Unscrupulous people have no internal limitations, paying no attention to the inconvenience of others.
Distinctive signs of an unscrupulous person:
- Excessive selfishness. Such an individual thinks only about himself, acting to the detriment of those around him.
- Lies, attempts to shield oneself. An unscrupulous person does not see the offense in lying and tries to avoid deserved punishment.
- Searching for your benefit. Such a person will not miss the opportunity to receive material benefits undeservedly.
- Hypocrisy. Unscrupulous people will not express negative opinions about the person they want. Selfish goals make them fawn and fawn.
Objective assessment
When pangs of conscience interfere with life, you need to understand the reasons for this.
Often even the slightest offense in especially conscientious people causes a violent reaction. Although conscience is the voice of internal morality, it should not be the main one, and blindly following it is a common mistake. Still, conscience touches on some moments from the past, which, unfortunately, cannot be changed. Constantly returning to his past, a person prevents himself from building a future. In general, it is worth remembering that a suddenly awakened conscience is even a good sign. A sign that a person has not yet lost something good, bright and eternal.
What to do if your conscience is tormented by nonsense
From early childhood, parents try to instill a sense of conscience in their children. Because of diligence and “overreaching”, adults are guided not only by it. An excessive sense of guilt and fear of condemnation develops in children's minds. It is difficult for a person with such a set to refuse help and support to the people around him. He is driven not by an inner desire to help, but by an exaggerated conscience and a sense of shame.
Very often, an individual understands that he is worried and “gnawing” at himself because of nonsense, but he cannot help himself. A person is controlled by an overly educated and shameful part of the mind. How to help yourself in this situation? Here's the plan:
- Recognize the problem.
- Analyze your behavior.
- Remove negative emotions from yourself.
- Return to a normal state of mind.
Firstly, a person who is tormented by nonsense must realize the scale of the tragedy. He needs to clearly understand that this is not a serious reason for mental suffering. Without awareness of the problem, there will be no competent healing from an exaggerated conscience.
Secondly, a person must evaluate his behavior from the outside. Maybe he was manipulated? Or is it used by several people, deliberately putting pressure on feelings of guilt? It is worth analyzing the problem by asking for help from a really close person. If necessary, you need to contact a psychologist and talk to him.
Thirdly, you need to fully realize your innocence in this situation. You need to order your conscience not to pay attention to the little things and move on with your life calmly. Very often, an effort of will helps to shift attention to other things. If this is not enough, you need to seek help from a competent specialist.
Fourthly, it’s worth asking yourself one simple question: “Why am I torturing myself?” Maybe the reason is self-punishment, and pangs of conscience are just an excuse? Understand yourself.
There is an alternative!
Article on the topic
Is envy not a vice? Why do we react to the successes of others? The feeling of guilt will not grow to enormous proportions and poison life if you know that it has an alternative. This is a sense of responsibility. For any word, action or inaction. There are no perfect people in the world, we all make mistakes, but we can also be responsible for them. Accept responsibility for the fact that because of you (even against your will) other people suffered, compensate for the damage, correct the situation, if possible, draw conclusions and move on without depriving yourself of strength and without tormenting yourself with self-recrimination. And of course, remember: it is impossible to be responsible for the well-being of other adults. Any messages from others in the spirit of “it’s because of you that I have...”, “if you do this, I will suffer”, causing you to feel guilty, should suggest that you are being manipulated and that there are no honest, respectful and equal relationships here there is no talk.
Why are women more often tormented by their conscience than men?
Women love to push themselves into limits, think about decency and demand ideal behavior from themselves. The beautiful half of humanity suffers much more often because of morals and principles. What is the problem of too strongly developed conscience in women?
Reasons for conscientiousness in women:
- Emotionality.
- Upbringing.
- Social requirements.
Firstly, women have much more developed emotionality, unlike men. They may worry about a wrong look or word. By nature, they suffer more due to minor problems. For the most part, women listen to emotions without paying attention to dry facts.
Secondly, when raising women, much more demands are made than the stronger sex. They must be able to cook, wash, clean, speak and be silent. If a woman cannot become a good housewife, then the subconscious will reproach her. An internal conflict is created. Of course, not every nervous system can withstand such pressure.
Thirdly, society demands enormous, virtually impossible feats from women. A woman should give birth, look good, build a career and be an excellent housewife. But how to combine this is not clear. Society does not help solve the situation, but only aggravates it.
Techniques for getting rid of pangs of conscience
When the pangs of conscience are unreasonable, but still interfere with a normal life, you can use other psychological techniques. Each person chooses such techniques for himself, since some trust the voice of reason more, while others are susceptible to emotions.
One of these techniques is a detailed analysis of the situation. But it is not done in order to blame oneself even more, but so that in the end the realization comes that the past situation has taught a person a lot, and such actions cannot happen again. If that situation made some important points clear, then it was not in vain. You cannot constantly scold yourself for the experience and wisdom you have gained.
Another method, which also involves logic, can be the realization that mistakes are quite acceptable in the life of any person. There are no sinless and ideal people, and sometimes circumstances force people to act in ways that their internal controller, their conscience, does not tell them to do.
Another option, more suitable for impulsive and emotional people, is self-punishment. Of course, you don’t need to torture yourself, but as atonement you can either sacrifice something or do some things that are uncharacteristic for yourself. In this case, some people begin to do useful things, for example, become volunteers in various services. The main thing is that it helps a person forgive himself. Others, as a sign of punishment, try to force themselves to do unloved things, for example, jogging in the morning or learning a foreign language. At the same time, there will simply be no time left for self-flagellation and pangs of conscience, and when a person forgives himself, it is no longer a fact that he will give up these activities.
Are shame and conscience the same thing?
Let us remember that moment when in childhood we blushed because we had to listen to our parents’ reproaches about yet another prank. At those moments, my face instantly turned red. We were ashamed. We regretted our actions at the moment - here and now. Most often, this happened under pressure from other people who, trying to teach us reason, shamed us.
What came next? Never mind! We completely forgot about all the problems and scoldings of our parents. There was no trace of negative feelings left. The discomfort went away quite quickly. After all, as you know, we are ashamed in front of other people, but ashamed in front of ourselves. In the case of the parents, a mistake was made. The adults simply shamed me instead of explaining. Perhaps if they had sorted everything out in detail, we would not only feel shame, but also a conscience. And we would not do anything like this in the future.
Based on this, you can find a number of differences between these two concepts. You usually feel ashamed immediately after what you have done. A person tries to correct himself with an apology. He does everything to resolve the situation, after which calmness or even pride sets in. Repentance comes unnoticed and sometimes even unexpectedly. Sometimes a person begins to suffer from pangs of conscience because of a situation that happened a week ago. Why is this happening?
As already mentioned, it is society that forces the individual to admit his guilt. According to the rules of etiquette, he apologizes and forgets about the problem, since the brain was given a signal - “hang up.” Forgiveness for us plays the role of complacency: after all, there are no complaints. Remorse appears only when the brain either “did not understand” that there was an apology and forgiveness, or they really did not follow.
And literary heroes have a conscience...
Pangs of conscience in the fate of famous literary heroes are a fairly common occurrence. Many of them, to one degree or another, thought about the correctness of their actions, made excuses to themselves, or continued to gnaw at themselves. Raskolnikov is rightfully considered the most conscientious character in Russian literature. One has only to remember how at first he was delusional that they wanted to capture him, imprison him, and convict him. The hero wasn't even ashamed. Like, the old woman-pawnbroker is to blame herself. Raskolnikov did not consider himself a “trembling creature.” He assured himself that he “has the right” to kill those who allegedly interfere with the lives of decent people. But after what happened, everything changed. The pangs of conscience drove him into a corner to such an extent that he literally began to go crazy. And he did not calm down until he received what he deserved for killing the old woman.
Anna Karenina is another conscientious heroine. But she reproached herself not for murder, but for betraying her husband. The woman chose her own punishment - she threw herself under a train.
Thus, in their works based on psychologism, the authors show what a terrible thing conscience is. Her reproaches can drive you crazy and lead to suicide. Therefore, there is no need to commit those actions for which you would be painfully ashamed.
Why does your conscience gnaw at you?
It is absolutely clear that we experience regret after we commit an offense and until we hear the cherished: “I forgive you.” But why does a person need to justify himself to himself? Why can’t you just forget about the conflict as a bad dream and not fill your head with all sorts of nonsense? Everything is easily explained: pangs of conscience are not excuses that we invent for ourselves in order to calm down. We are talking about responsibility towards those who were offended.
The human brain is designed in such a way that it needs to be convinced of everything, even that its “master” is right. Therefore, thoughts about what happened are nothing more than a way to get rid of annoying and sometimes boring reproaches of conscience. Unfortunately, you can’t save yourself by making excuses and looking for evidence of your own innocence.
