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Cheat sheet for a teenager: what to do in your free time
Advice from a psychologist for teenagers
In different stages of evolution and geo-affiliation, adolescence is the period of maturation of an adult personality from a child from 10 to 19 years old. Adolescence is divided into:
- Younger age 10 – 14 years.
- And the oldest is 15 - 19 years old.
Despite the different definitions of teenage groups, they all have the same problems and contradictions. At this time, adults themselves
Psychologist's work with teenagers
Considering that all families and upbringing in them are different, but the child must be treated like an adult, it is important for parents not to lose contact with him. And the maturing body learns to interact not only with family members.
During the period of personal maturation, teenagers are “prickly”, taciturn, study worse, begin to forget about hygiene, make a mess in their home, lie and steal. As a result, parents are simply shocked. Moms have hysterics, and dads have one single desire - to subjugate the child at any cost.
How to raise a boy correctly depending on age
Every child goes through several stages of psychological development during the period of growth and maturation. In raising a boy, the father plays an important role, but the influence of the mother is also necessary. Pedagogical influence on the child is carried out depending on his age.
From birth
Until one year old, boys and girls differ little from each other. They equally need parental affection, care, love and support. Of course, the mother at this time is the main assistant and protector. During this period, children are attached to their mother both physically (through breastfeeding and daily care) and psychologically.
But already at the age of one, a certain gap occurs - the child already begins to walk independently, is weaned from breast milk, and begins to recognize himself as a separate person.
At this time, in raising a boy, attention should be paid to the following points:
- Physical activity. Male babies are more active and inquisitive. They want to touch, feel, taste everything. To do this, conditions should be created so that boys can run, jump, climb, and overcome obstacles. The main task of parents is to allow the baby to explore the world around him, but at the same time help him avoid danger.
- Independence. A boy should learn to be independent from early childhood. To do this, he needs to be allowed to perform some actions on his own - eat, take off his shoes, perform play tasks. Mom should be patient and not do everything instead of her son.
- Household errands. Children from the age of 1.5-2 years begin to repeat everything after adults. They want to help sweep the apartment, wipe the dust, and repair furniture with dad. Parents need to provide their child with this opportunity, even if additional cleaning is required after the help.
Important! Also, at the age of 2 years, it is necessary to introduce a system of prohibitions. The child already understands what is required of him
There is no need to wait for a more opportune time.
3-5 years
The age from 3 to 5 years is critical for a boy. At this time he already realizes that he is a man. In addition, he can already explain himself clearly, express his position and understand the requirements placed on him. The main tasks of the educational process at this age:
- Instilling acceptance and self-love. The kid must understand that being a man is good and honorable. Parents should encourage the boy's attempts to show character. Verbal reinforcement will not be superfluous - tell your son what a strong, brave, real man he is.
- Improving physical development. At 3-4 years old the baby becomes very active. His energy is in full swing. She should be directed in the right direction - allowed to play outdoor games, run, climb trees.
- Encouraging research interest.
7-8 years
Early school age is a period of aggravation of a boy’s attachment to his father
He tries in every possible way to attract his attention, to achieve his praise. Dad should spend more time with his son, involve him in masculine activities - take him fishing, play football, basketball, tennis with him, talk about masculine topics
Remember! For a schoolchild, a mother becomes the standard of femininity. The way he is taught to treat his mother will become a model of behavior with the female sex in the future.
9-10 years
A child's age of about 10 years is considered early adolescence. A characteristic feature of boys at this age is considered to be a certain character change. If recently he was an affectionate and obedient child, then a 10-year-old son can begin to defend his position, resorting to extreme measures - aggression and disobedience.
How should parents react? You should be patient. You should not shout at your son, much less subject him to physical harm or humiliation. Talk to your child, ask for his opinions and experiences
It is important to prevent the boy from withdrawing into himself
teenager
Adolescence is a turning point when a boy’s body is rebuilt in preparation for adulthood. Everything changes - hormonal levels, the voice breaks, secondary sexual characteristics appear. Such changes are also reflected in the psychological state - yesterday’s boy becomes a man.
Basic principles of raising teenagers:
- Cancellation of total bans. If previously it was impossible to go outside without a hat, now it is simply impossible to ban people.
- Communication. For mutual understanding, it is necessary to establish a trusting relationship with the teenager. To do this, it is enough to be sincerely interested in the boy’s affairs and problems.
- Lack of criticism. Teenagers are very vulnerable, so you should not criticize their appearance, preferences and desires.
- Equality. A teenager is no longer a child. Therefore, parents should learn to perceive him as an equal person.
Psychologist for teenagers in St. Petersburg
As we said earlier, families are different. In some families, parents are alcoholics or drug addicts, they simply don’t care about their children, and they give birth again and again. In other families, parents are single; they simply do not have enough strength, time, or money for psychologists and communication with children.
In third families there are both parents, and they are trying to help their growing children get through this period easier and turn to a psychologist. In fourth families, children are left to their own devices and are forced to struggle with this world or begin to look for a way out of the situation on the Internet, reading useful articles on psychology for adolescence.
There is no money for a paid consultation, and there is fear... And there are still many, many versions of families.
Quick Tips
Whether your teen loves music or plays sports, support his desire to be an individual. This may mean taking a step back and realizing that your teen's job is not to make your dreams come true for them, but to make your dreams come true.
It is normal for parents to experience feelings of grief as their child grows older. Gone are the days when they depended on you, and soon they will go away on their own.
Make sure you deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Don't let your feelings hold your child back.
Finally, keep in mind that you and your teen don't have to agree on everything. Allow them to become themselves and establish themselves as individuals, as long as they do so in a safe way.
Psychologist for teenagers online
Of course, this is an ideal option when you can get advice by phone or chat completely free of charge and at a time when it is very necessary.
And it is important for parents to receive instructions on “How to make a child normal again.” But we want to give some important advice to teenagers. And also to their parents.
Give an example from your favorite children's movie.
To give an example of a positive attitude, particularly respect for older people, mom can enhance it by showing clips from her favorite children's movies.
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Starting from cartoons to films with children's idols, showing the correct attitude towards older people. When watching together, mom can say that showing respect to parents is cool and useful. This will motivate your child to develop good habits.
Psychologist for teenagers in St. Petersburg
So, what you need to know about adolescence:
- This period of growing up is not forever! It will definitely end. Each parent, taking certain steps in further education, remembers his “difficult age”. Therefore, he often thinks: “God, how did my parents even endure this…”
- Keep a diary (or wish list). Write down in it every day what you were pleased with with yourself over the past day. It won't be easy to lead him at first. But each time you will do better. The main rule is not to give up! Write not about your global achievements, but about all of them, even the most insignificant ones. For example: they cleaned up the room, wiped off the dust, went to the movies with friends, prepared for a test, completed their homework perfectly, helped grandma cross the road, etc. This will help you feel your strengths. Check your diary more often! Get better.
- Write down moments when you exceeded your expectations. For example, you thought that you would pass the test with a C, but you passed with an “excellent” or “good.” Or they only wanted to wash their own plate, but they washed all the dishes for the family, and even wiped the table. This will help you realize that there are no limits to good deeds. You can do anything.
- Get rid of “external noise” and criticism. Weigh everything that others tell you. Don't drown out your individuality by believing every word other people say. Stop and think about whether what they are telling you and advising you is fair? If so, then think about these words more seriously. If not, just drown out the noise in your head.
- Talk to yourself respectfully. Have you noticed such thoughts in your head? “Everyone is looking at me askance,” although this is not true at all. Or, for example, “they clearly hate me” - and this is also completely untrue. Your brain may tell you that you are not good enough. Therefore, it is important to learn to talk to yourself as to a person you respect. If we find such thoughts, we immediately write these words down on paper. And mentally tell yourself: “STOP, I won’t talk to myself in that tone.” Then change the negative words to positive ones. For example, “My family loves me,” “I believe in myself,” “I deserve respect.”
- Spend time with those who love you. Only family can give unconditional love. These relationships strengthen self-esteem.
- Do good deeds. At this moment you will feel significant, needed and useful. You can collect waste paper, look after children, help your mother around the house or your grandmother - a neighbor. It doesn't matter what good deeds you do. The main thing is to act.
- Find an understanding adult to talk to. Sometimes you can’t tell parents everything or get advice. But there is always an adult around who can help, talk or give advice. Help from a psychologist for a teenager is also suitable in this situation.
- Recommendations for teenagers from a psychologist: determine values. It is important to designate how and with whom to spend time next. With whom or what to connect your life. For example, friends, education, sports, animals, art and music, family and the city. Also important are the life qualities that will accompany you throughout your life: reliability and kindness, loyalty and hard work, energy and tenderness, honesty and independence, willingness to help and skill. Ask yourself: “Who and what matters to me?” And answer this question on paper.
- An anonymous psychologist for teenagers recommends: draw your dreams. Desires can be fulfilled if you visualize them. Think about the people you admire. What do these people do and why are they special to you? These could be loved ones, acquaintances or even famous people. Why do you consider them great? Imagine yourself the same way. Draw this image and save it.
- Advice from a psychologist for children. Identify your sources of inspiration. Answer your questions and write down on paper (in the same diary): what do you like to do? What gives meaning to life? What do I have a talent for? What do you like to read and watch movies about? Answering these questions will help you gain energy and confidence.
- Set goals, even small ones, and achieve them. Write it down on paper and do it. Don't be discouraged if you can't reach everyone at once. Go towards your goals gradually, breaking them down into smaller steps. Solving these problems will add to your self-confidence and courage. Take action.
- Think big. There are no unattainable goals. Dream big! This will help you achieve your goals as quickly as possible.
- Read books. They help expand your horizons, find brilliant ideas and turn your train of thought in the right direction.
- Plan your future day. If you spend all your time playing computer games, then you need to expand your abilities. By distributing and planning your day, you will learn to cope with responsibilities. Planning will give you more free time. And you can use your free time as you wish, again relying on your future. Play games or learn English - the choice is yours.
- Take care of your health. Proper nutrition and exercise are the key to good health, energy and endurance. It’s not for nothing that parents and adults use the saying: “A healthy mind in a healthy body”? Change your habits.
- Psychologist for a 14-year-old teenager. Diversify your leisure time. Help your parents prepare dinner, play board games, attend exhibitions, master classes and movies, take up sports and new hobbies.
- Advice from a psychologist for a 15-year-old teenager. Communicate in a friendly and polite manner with your peers. Help them. Accept their physical formation with positive emotions. Support each other, protect each other. Play sports together.
Physical activity
Teenagers are recommended to exercise for 60 minutes every day. Aerobic exercise should be your primary activity.
But muscle-building exercises, such as strength training, and bone-building exercises, such as jumping, are also important for good health.
If your teen isn't interested in joining a sports team, don't force it. Help her find what she really wants to do. A daily walk or bike ride, kayaking or swimming may be activities she enjoys more than team sports.
Even if your teen doesn't play sports, there are many activities that can get them moving. You can also make physical activity an activity for the whole family. Go for an evening walk after dinner or go hiking on the weekends.
Limit your teen's screen time and encourage them to spend time outside. Talk about how important it is to keep your body healthy and make it a priority to be a good role model.
Chat with a psychologist for teenagers
This is a great idea, especially if difficulties arise and an adult you trust is not there right now.
We must not forget that the formation of personality involves school, family and family values, social society, the “street” and friends, personal qualities and needs, even a horoscope and name influence a person and who he will become.
If the personality is not formed correctly, a teenager may develop complexes and self-doubt due to physiological development, for example. Both girls and boys find it difficult to accept the appearance of hair on their bodies, which they try so hard to hide and get rid of. In such cases, it is important to achieve harmony so that the child does not feel embarrassed and can turn to his parents with questions. It’s good if they can think of looking for answers to questions on the Internet. Although, not all information can be trusted on the World Wide Web.
That's why we wrote this article to help teenagers.
Life is Beautiful. Save this article and download the cheat sheet in PDF format. With good intentions and faith in a bright future, Institute of Practical Medicine.
Download cheat sheets and advice from a psychologist for free. They will help you in difficult and insoluble situations. They will also help you become successful now and in the future.
Cheat sheet for a teenager: what to do in your free time
Health and Safety
It is important for a teenager to know how to take care of his health. Risky behavior can be one of the biggest dangers teenagers face. So educate your teen about the dangers they face and give up privileges when they make poor choices.
Visiting the doctor
Teens can continue to see their pediatrician until age 21. It is recommended that teenagers have annual health checks.
Exercise, acne, respiratory infections, asthma and skin problems are common reasons why teens need to visit their pediatrician between annual visits.
It is important to give teens the opportunity to talk to their pediatrician alone. They may have questions about sex, sexuality, STDs, alcohol, drugs, or other sensitive issues that they don't feel comfortable talking about in front of their parents.
Your pediatrician should check your child's body mass index, provide physical activity and nutrition counseling, and provide education about sexually transmitted infections.
Sexually active teens can be tested regularly for sexually transmitted diseases, including chlamydia and gonorrhea, even if they don't have any symptoms.
Obstetricians and gynecologists recommend that girls have their first gynecological visit at the age of 15 years
The pediatrician should also check for mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety. It is important to communicate any concerns you may have about your teen's mood or behavior.
Personal experience
My life was not so smooth and perfect. It was similar to the first option and even worse, because I was neither a good son nor a good student. And one of the reasons is that I never came across such articles. At some point in my life, I began to encounter such materials more and more often and, when a critical mass was reached, I decided to change everything.
I left a job I didn’t like, which brought me a good income, but was meaningless to me. I had to live without a salary for about a year as I studied what I wanted to do. There were all sorts of things, but all of Heaven was interested in my fate, and today I am provided with a job that I love and that I am ready to do day and night. I am happy and satisfied, but if I had spent my youth wisely, all this would have happened much earlier and less painfully.
Causes of the 7 year crisis
When a child does not obey, behaves defiantly and rudely, it is difficult to remain calm, and it is tempting to give the insolent person a good spanking. You shouldn’t do this - trust will be completely lost
Think about why your child attracts attention to himself. Psychologists identify several reasons that explain the difficulties of the age of 7 years:
- Physiology. Have you noticed how future first-graders stretch out over the course of one summer? At about 7 years old, another growth spurt begins, sometimes so rapid that the body perceives the unusual state as stressful. Plus, the replacement of baby teeth with molars continues, which also causes the child some discomfort;
- Change of social role, leading activity. Previously, the child was just a son (or daughter), and most of his time was occupied by various games. Now he needs to master a new role, become a student and study diligently, relegating entertainment to the background. A change in the usual way of life causes confusion in a little person;
- Desire to please. It’s very easy to start something new, but over time any activity becomes boring. This happens at the age of 7 with school: a child burning with enthusiasm becomes apathetic and whiny. The kid remembers what hopes his parents have for him, and expects praise from the teacher, wants to be a successful student. A contradiction arises between fatigue and the desire to excel;
- Manifestations of individuality. At the age of 7, children reconsider the positions of their immediate environment - the family. First-graders expect that their growing up will be taken into account, their opinion will be taken into account. This is what explains stubbornness and disobedience over little things. The child simply does not have enough attention.
The whims of a 7-year-old child are provoked by resentment for not buying a toy or a ban on watching a cartoon. The time of hysterics at the slightest provocation has passed; now children's negativity always has a hidden reason.
Don't expect the impossible
Do not demand that your child, after your first request, fulfill all orders and tasks with lightning speed, and simply obey you after the first word.
We are not soldiers, and our children are not soldiers either.
Moreover, I want to say that the brain of a small person under 14 years old is for sure! - is designed in such a way that if he is busy with something - he reads, he watches some program, he draws something, or he just sits and thinks about something - then his concentration on everything else drops greatly.
Indeed, a child who is really doing something may not hear us. While in us this causes a very strong reaction, some kind of resentment, and in the end we repeat it once, twice.
When we lose our temper and shout, this irritating factor is very strong, the child flinches, reacts, starts doing something, and in the end it seems to us - a standard phrase for many mothers - “You only need to shout at you in order to you did it!"
It is much better if you see that your child is busy with something, go up and touch him
Such a tactile touch, tactile appeal to the child immediately draws attention to you
You come up, pat him on the shoulder or head, hug him and say: “Please do this or that!” – the reaction to such an appeal will be much faster, much more willing, and the child will really understand what you want from him.
The secret of life success
What sets successful people apart from everyone else? As numerous studies have shown, it is not talent or high IQ that helps you reach the top. What a person's life will be like is much more influenced by his ability to self-control.
50 years ago, scientists conducted an experiment that is now widely known as the delayed gratification test. The researchers asked the children to eat the sweet treat right away or wait a bit and get two treats instead of one. Not everyone was able to demonstrate willpower.
After this test, the children continued to be monitored. Those subjects who managed to wait for the reward later studied better, had fewer emotional and behavioral problems, had higher self-esteem and achieved career success faster.
If you think about it, there is nothing surprising here. Someone who is able to give up immediate pleasure for a long-term goal is more likely to push themselves to study for an exam, work on an important project, or work out at the gym. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to lie on the couch, finish watching his favorite TV series, or go to a party. He just knows how to resist temptation.
As we have already found out, the ability to regulate one’s behavior is formed in adolescence. It is this skill that allows you to resist the negative influences of the environment to which teenagers are so susceptible. This is why it is so important for parents to help their child develop self-control.
