From this article you will learn:
- Why do women want to lose interest in a man?
- How to cool off towards a man
- What do psychologists advise about this?
- How to lose interest in a man, stop loving him and not remember him using a love spell
Loving and being loved is real happiness for every girl. This feeling gives a sea of positive emotions, and you want to experience them again and again with your soulmate. But love does not always bring only joy. It is often the cause of pain and disappointment. Then you want to hide, run away, forever forgetting about the person who brought so much suffering. Girls are often interested in how to lose interest in a man so that they can finally start a new, happy life. We will talk about this in our article.
Definition
Indifference is the absence of reaction, purpose, desire to act .
This state of mind is characterized by pronounced apathy and inertia.
Indifference is synonymous with indifference, melancholy and apathy and characterizes the degree of mental activity, which in this case is minimal . An indifferent person can be in this state in relation to some specific objects or phenomena or to a group of them.
Selective indifference is effectively used as a way of protecting against negative emotions or influences. Widespread indifference is a more formidable symptom of possible mental disorders.
This condition can manifest itself in different areas of human life. The emotional reaction is sharply reduced. Losing interest in something means indifference to it.
For example, to a hobby or type of professional activity. At the same time, the person does not experience any emotions about the previously interested object. This is the most important distinguishing feature of this condition.
Indifference is also characterized as being indifferent to people and being cool about their problems or dire situations.
Remaining indifferent to the sight of others suffering means indifference in the soul or an attempt to distance yourself from what is happening .
True indifference penetrates deeply into consciousness; a person does not worry about this under any circumstances.
This condition is often a person’s own and conscious choice in favor of saving nerves, strength, and time. Indifference helps the individual to use available resources economically.
Why does a woman want to lose interest in a man?
Relationships often bring pain and disappointment. Then you want to quickly get out of the problematic union, to cool off towards the man for whom you still have feelings. There may be several reasons for this desire:
- The person has not experienced warm feelings for a long time, has left your family with him or is just about to do so. You love him, but unrequitedly.
- You understand that interest in a relationship comes only from you: you love a man and value your family. He only takes advantage of his position without giving anything in return.
- A man wants you to live only by his rules, forgetting about your own interests. For example, he demands that you always be at home and take care of him, and threatens to divorce you for failure to comply. You are tired of being disrespected and are gradually losing yourself.
- Your man is overly jealous. You are constantly in nervous tension, tired of scandals and reproaches. To stop this, you should think about how to cool off towards such a man.
- There is always a “third wheel” in your family – his mother, whose opinion is above all. You must also follow its rules. In this situation, the best way out would be to leave this inextricable tandem and go in search of a truly independent man.
- Your soul mate has a difficult character or, on the contrary, is characterized by weak-willedness and excessive softness. A powerful man wants eternal submission, which no mentally healthy person can endure. The spineless man is looking for a caring mother in a woman who will not mind taking full responsibility for her “son.”
- You are a decent woman, faithful to your man and your family with him. He is not distinguished by these qualities and does not consider it necessary to respect you. Then you have probably been tormented for a long time by the question of how to cool off towards the man with whom you are in a relationship. Having fallen out of love with this person, you yourself will be surprised at how his feelings for you will change, perhaps you will even be able to maintain the union.
Who is this indifferent person?
How to understand indifferent and what does not indifferent mean? Indifferent means not interested. That is, significant signs or situations have lost relevance for a given individual for some reason.
All actions regarding this object or phenomenon are no longer considered by the person as worthy of attention . This allows the indifferent to feel a certain degree of freedom. This is the positive aspect of indifference.
This concept also includes inaction in relation to something . This may be a lack of response to an insult (indifference to the offender or the situation in general), or a decrease in attention to the problem or issue.
An indifferent person is unlikely to help in a difficult situation, because he does not consider this important in human relationships.
This method of avoiding responsibility can be effective when dealing with people who are trying to shift the care of themselves onto the shoulders of others.
Indifference manifests itself in the form of insensitivity to people's problems .
This allows the individual to avoid these problems and the difficulties associated with them.
Often, expressed indifference extends to other aspects of a person’s activity: his motor skills, range of interests and people.
The movements of indifferent people gradually become slow and unhurried, and the circle of interests and communication gradually narrows.
Not indifferent means exactly the opposite. Such a person is active in relation to the subject that interests him and actively manifests himself in relation to it. He is concerned about the state of an object or situation, as well as measures to influence them.
A few words about calm and composure
To be balanced, calm and cool-headed, it is not enough to know just one method. This is a combination of factors and skills, or, in some cases, innate . For example, if you cope well with conflict situations, this does not mean that accumulated negative emotions will not be able to take over (unless they are somehow neutralized). By exaggerating, you can leisurely explain your arguments a thousand times, but the thousand and first time you can yell or teach something else.
Why the words above? Moreover, if you really want to become cool and calm, then you need an integrated approach . Moreover, it is quite normal if some individual methods do not suit you. It’s like with felt-tip pens, depending on the taste and color.
In fairness, I note that life is life. For example, some people eventually achieve a “common” understanding of the causes of anxiety and how to solve them. However, this comes in connection with the effort expended, and not as in works of art “at a click.” Abstractly, in childhood it is difficult for a person to move on two legs and this may require conscious thoughts, but having matured, “steps” become at the level of reflexes, and for some, so much so that they can perform any somersault without any problems.
Why is indifference dangerous?
Lack of emotional response to what is happening and ignoring other people's troubles can lead to social isolation .
Indifference often becomes a stumbling block for loved ones as part of a lack of understanding of the difficulties of one person by another.
Indifference at the same time gives a person an imaginary feeling of abstraction from these problems and allows him to enjoy only pleasant things.
This quality can be regarded as a manifestation of emotional rudeness . This sounds especially harsh towards women.
It is assumed that the female sex has a great capacity for empathy and compassion , however, in conditions of an indifferent attitude, such a girl can be perceived as dry and insensitive.
In addition, indifference does not allow you to enjoy life in all its colors.
By getting involved in some process to which a person becomes partial, he acquires new life experience and knowledge , and also exchanges them with other individuals. Indifference makes the process of accumulating such information impossible.
This condition also leads to a decline in moral standards in society . The lack of reaction to shocking events makes them closer to the norm, and over time even transforms them into the category of habitual.
For example, the lack of response to the prevalence of gadgets among schoolchildren encourages further use of phones and tablets instead of face-to-face communication.
has a particularly negative impact on the upbringing of children.
Indifference encourages others to take harsh and atypical actions , which can cause conflict.
For example, in a company of friends, people are indifferent to the manifestation of cruelty of one of them towards animals.
In the future, this can lead to the formation of sadistic tendencies in a person and even to their implementation.
Frying pan against flowers
One of the manifestations of indifference is lack of attention to each other
We can live in the same family, but not notice each other’s needs, but what we don’t notice can be very important for our loved one. For example, my wife wants me to give her flowers, and I say: well, why do you need them, let me give you a frying pan instead! She's more useful
I buy a frying pan, she smiles, accepts my gift, but she wants flowers. This is also indifference, because you do not pay attention to the person’s needs and desires. You measure it by yourself. I don't need flowers, I'm for a frying pan. It seems like a small thing, but it doesn't lead to anything good. And then children are born in such a family.
I recently attended a meeting of the commission on preventing violence in the family and society. We discussed the problem: one boy in kindergarten behaves very aggressively, and it also turned out that he constantly wants to sleep. They began to question the parents. They say: “What do you want, we come home from work tired, go to bed at eight o’clock, and he watches movies on the Internet until three in the morning.” The boy is five or six years old. The parents believe that there is nothing bad in this situation: after all, they work to provide for him, so that he has everything. The fact that he watches uncontrolled information until three in the morning is normal for them. Who knows what this child saw? Can you be surprised if over time he grows into an antisocial person? What do you want from young people if they grow up in indifferent families?
I don’t know how to bring people out of the lethargic sleep of indifference. It is everywhere, even in small things. Unclean shoes, unkempt clothes, negligence - all this is formed by indifference.
Problem
An indifferent attitude towards people creates many problems. The first of them is the elementary loss of loved ones and friends when their needs are ignored. Indifference makes a person cold and calculating, which is not conducive to the development of friendly relationships.
Within the framework of insensitivity to other people's troubles, this state gives the right to other people in the future to ignore the difficulties of a person who was previously indifferent to them.
Also, this process forces a person to lower his moral and ethical qualifications , reducing his critical attitude towards immoral and wrong actions.
Within the framework of professional activity, indifference can become a reason for rapid emotional professional burnout.
Some professions are directly related to a person’s ability to empathize, for example, a doctor or a teacher.
How to cool off towards a man: magical ways
There is another way to cool off towards a man - with the help of a magical spell. This does not apply to lapels, since they can only be in the case of love spells (attachment against your will). The ritual of liberation from oppressive feelings is called “ostuda”. As a result of the ritual, you will lose feelings for a person whose love is beyond your strength. The plot is performed on the waning moon, after sunset. The day of the ritual is Tuesday or Saturday.
Below are the options for such ostuds. You can choose one of them and also experiment with all the methods. The only rule is not to do several rituals at once. Perhaps one conspiracy will be enough.
Advice from psychologists: how to become indifferent?
How to become a more cold-blooded and indifferent person?
To all
First of all, you need to decide what you need it for .
If the goal truly deserves desensitization, then change should be made.
We need to remind ourselves of the benefits of an indifferent attitude towards many unimportant aspects.
This is expressed in a reduced reaction to minor quarrels and misunderstandings. However, you should not go too far and cultivate an indifferent attitude towards loved ones.
To create such a state, you need to downplay the significance of the exciting object, and give as few of its positive characteristics as possible.
You need to remember this for yourself and repeat it regularly. To make it easier to get used to this idea at first, you should try to remove the exciting subject away . Then you should focus your attention on its negative aspects.
You can even write them down on paper to visualize your approach. You can then begin searching for an alternative or switching target.
Everything is simple here: if a girl is on a diet, then it is better for her to buy a variety of low-calorie foods that will supplant her addiction to unhealthy but tasty food. This attitude needs to be formed for yourself on an ongoing basis.
We all want to know how to stay calm under pressure.
Of course, I could do a ton of research on this and just summarize it for you. But the question would remain unresolved: “Will this work in the real world?”
So who knows how to be cool as a cucumber under the most pressure imaginable?
I read somewhere that when top bomb disposal experts get close to an explosive device that could blow them to shreds, their heart rate drops. I thought: guys, I know who will help us...
And I called the head of the Navy EOD team (explosive ordnance disposal service of the US Navy).
The guys from this service neutralize torpedoes while underwater. They disable biological, chemical... even nuclear weapons.
For security reasons, our interlocutor asked to remain anonymous. He worked in Iraq and Afghanistan and encountered a lot of terrible things. Repeatedly.
So what can we learn from him?
I asked him, “How do you manage to relax, focus, and make good, tough decisions when you are faced with intense psychological pressure from your own mind?”
Mirroring
Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.
What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.
What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.
How to develop self-control
There are several feasible first aid remedies for developing self-control:
- ignoring external stimuli, for example, for training, you can use a phone call that rings at the wrong time. The individual’s task is to ignore the call, in this way one can learn to abstract from other stimuli that throw oneself out of balance;
- delaying time and not immediately reacting to the opponent’s explosive reaction, while using a count of ten;
- the ability to switch your attention and relax at the right moment.
A state of stress, excessive fatigue, and tension cause chemical reactions in the body that negatively affect behavior. Both the body and the psyche need relaxation and rest. To do this, it is necessary to create in the imagination a place to which the individual will mentally move as soon as he feels tired or overexerted. This could be, for example, an autumn park, a room with a soft chair, a beach with palm trees - everything that can lead to a state of tranquility and the return of comfort. You need to find within yourself that support point that will replenish your reserves of vital energy.
How to survive indifference?
If a man shows coldness, then you should think about it and start talking to him about it. Explain that it hurts when he behaves this way. You can talk about your family and what your relationship was like. Under no circumstances should this be done in an accusatory manner. This also applies to the needs that a woman needs. Indifference to life will manifest itself in absolutely everything. It is important to show what you would like to see from the relationship. It is necessary not only to talk, but also to guide in the right direction. If all attempts are in vain, then perhaps the best option would be separation.
How to deal with indifference?
Indifference is a problem that needs to be addressed. Anyone who is satisfied with his life will never be able to love, show compassion and mercy. A cold-blooded person does not know suffering and hardship. Dealing with this is difficult, but possible. Before you begin, you need to know what indifference is and why it arose.
- Determine the origins
. In most cases, this is a problem in the family, which reigned between relatives. It will be easier to understand this by working with a psychologist. - Conduct self-analysis
. It is necessary to understand what is in your soul, what are the consequences of indifference, whether it brings discomfort, and so on. - Learn to show feelings
. You can start small, for example, helping your loved ones or taking part in a campaign to help the elderly.
Not everything is given
Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive.
Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.
Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become an insensitive person. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life. Only for a while. And then there will be a feeling of guilt inside. But true composure does not allow this.
How to Maintain Composure
Often, impressionable and unbalanced natures do not know how to cope without special shocks with a stressful situation for the nervous system.
Loss of self-control and control over your emotions occurs due to the response of the brain and endocrine system to stress, which is triggered by complex chemical processes in the body. Simply put, it's all about hormones. However, for some reason, some are able to control their behavior during quarrels, while for other individuals conflicts end with breaking dishes, cursing, fists and slaps.
Self-control refers to the ability to think clearly during times of emotional stress, and this ability is highly individual. In many ways, this ability depends on behavioral stereotypes - cultural and social attitudes that are instilled from an early age. And what for some people is a sign of bad taste, for others it is the norm. That is why completely different reactions are observed in similar situations. The ability to maintain composure is influenced by the characteristics of the nervous system and psyche, physical condition, and stressful situation. If a person is tired, hungry, in physical pain, or in an unresolved interpersonal conflict, then it is likely that it will be very difficult to restrain himself. A person who knows how to control his emotions will not be ashamed of his behavior later. This is a big plus. However, there are also disadvantages.
It has long been proven that there is a connection between health status and negative emotions. Carefully hidden emotional experiences, accumulating, deplete the nervous system.
Unexpressed aggression will make itself felt over time, for example, taking the form of chronic fatigue syndrome, increased irritability, or some kind of disease. Therefore, controlling negative emotions is important in order to then easily get rid of them.
Some individuals maintain self-control by relieving tension during outdoor activities, sleep, sports, or love. Others unwind from the adrenaline rush of watching horror films, riding roller coasters or bungee jumping.
How to learn self-control? In order not to go deeper into a state of continuous stress, you need to choose an effective way to release the accumulated negativity. You should not accumulate situations where you have to suppress aggression and anger, assuring yourself that everything is fine and nothing happened. You should learn to develop a physiological response to a stressful situation, letting off steam not by screaming, but by using a civilized form of aggression. If you feel the accumulation of a large amount of negative energy, you should direct it for peaceful purposes, for example, try to resolve issues in the heat of rage that are difficult to resolve in a normal state.
If you are unable to respond appropriately to the offender, you can take advantage of relieving emotional stress with the help of a swimming pool, fitness, yoga, or spas. How not to lose composure? It is necessary to control your feelings, desires, thoughts, intentions, impulses, actions and words. It is important to learn to evaluate yourself and carry out self-analysis of your actions.
Loss of self-control manifests itself in weakening self-control and self-discipline.
Self-control is expressed in the fact that the individual goes deeper into his inner world, evaluating and analyzing it. By assessing his feelings, thoughts, desires, a person determines for himself their acceptability.
How to maintain composure? In order not to lose self-control, you must have self-discipline. After finding out which thought, desire, feeling is alien to us, and which is for the good, it is necessary to correctly respond to these manifestations: either embody, develop, cultivate, support, or suppress, eradicate, suppress. The individual suppresses and eradicates the bad in himself, and develops and cultivates the good.
How to learn self-control and find inner peace
The head of a huge, worldwide organization has spent many years developing a program through which you can learn self-control and find inner peace. Since 1958, he has been the head of the Catholic Church under the name of Pope John XXIII. His “ten rules of calm” apply to only one day - the one you have to live today. From the Rules of John XXIII you can gain tools for personal effectiveness and self-motivation. Previously learned skills do not last a lifetime. You must always confidently and cheerfully move towards your goal. Some quickly give up and fall back into their old familiar state of business rush.
The head of a huge, worldwide organization faced the same problem. He has spent many years developing a program through which you can learn self-control and find inner peace.
The leader in question was named Giuseppe Roncalli (1881-1963). From 1958 until his death, he was the head of the Catholic Church under the name of Pope John XXIII. This man called joy and inner peace the pillars on which his life rested.
His “ten rules of calm” apply to only one day - the one you have to live today. From the Rules of John XXIII you can gain tools for personal effectiveness and self-motivation.
These are the rules.
Life
Today I will try to live the day simply - without trying to solve all the problems of my life at once.
2. Concerns
Today I will especially take care of my behavior and try to be honest with others. I won't criticize anyone. I will not correct and strive to make others better - only myself.
3. Happiness
Today I will be happy from the knowledge that I was created for happiness - not only in another, but also in this world.
4. Realism
It is today that I will adapt to circumstances without demanding that circumstances adapt to my desires.
5. Reading
Today I will devote 10 minutes of my time to reading a good work. Just as food is essential for the body, quality reading is essential for the mind.
6. Action
Today I will do a good deed. And I won’t tell anyone about this.
7. Overcoming
Today is the day I will do something that I don't like. If I get hard, I'll make sure no one notices.
Plans
Today I will create for myself a clear program of action for this day. I may not be able to complete it completely. But I will write down what I haven’t done, and thereby save myself from two evils - haste and indecision.
Courage
Today I will stop being afraid. And especially - to be afraid to rejoice in what is beautiful - and so I will believe in goodness.
