How to solve personal problems: several effective techniques

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Personality is a set of habitual forms of thinking, emotional response and behavior. Each person is a personality that is formed in the process of development from imitation of significant people, from learned ideas (“what is good and what is bad”), from learned ways of finding satisfaction for one’s desires and reacting to frustration.

Personality normally helps a person realize his potential, but this does not always happen. Situations often arise that a person’s formed personality blocks many opportunities, leads to serious problems, a decrease in the quality of life and seriously limits a person in many areas of life.

Psychological traumas suffered in the process of personality development leave an imprint on a person’s personality, subsequently leading to personal problems.

Personal psychological problems

Personal problems include all the variety of difficulties that a person faces in various life situations:

• Self-esteem: low, high or inadequate.
• Rigid or primitive psychological forms of defense, that is, ways of coping with one’s experiences.
• Inability to relate your desires to reality.
• Persistent habits of forming dysfunctional relationships with others due to inappropriate beliefs about oneself in the relationship or about the other person.

According to the degree of severity of personality problems, it is possible to divide personality problems in a person with a so-called normal (adaptive) personality, with an accentuated personality and with a personality disorder.

Being a normal person does not mean conforming to some templates; rather, on the contrary, it is the ability to be an individual, have your own opinion and have internal psychological freedom, to be able to love and work.

People who try to focus on norms without thinking, rigidly following them, without understanding their context in any way and trying never to deviate from them are called normopaths.

Diagnosis of mental state

The cause of a psychological problem can only be determined through personal consultation with a specialist. Psychologists use several search methods:

1. Conversation. Diagnosis begins with this. It is usually not possible to find a problem during the first conversation, but the psychologist notes which area of ​​life the client is reluctant to talk about and then works with it.
2. Tests. Various questionnaires, graphic techniques, and free choice tests help to identify hidden experiences and evaluate worldview.
3. Observation. It is carried out within a hospital, emergency room or simulated problem situation. A psychologist observes how a person behaves, how he speaks, gestures, and in what position he stands or sits. Gestures are almost impossible to control and can reveal information about a person's self-perception and worldview.
4. Hypnosis. If the patient is secretive, the psychologist puts him into a state of hypnosis. This allows you to identify repressed memories and get to experiences that the patient ignores.

Having identified what caused the development of the problem, the psychologist selects a suitable means of therapy:

• consultations (individual and group);
• therapeutic games;
• toning and relaxation exercises;
• art therapy, creative exercises, color and sound therapy;
• fairytale therapy, record keeping.

The duration of treatment and the need for more serious medications are selected individually. At the same time, the psychologist is engaged in education, increasing the patient’s level of awareness.

Normal healthy personality

A normal or more accurately healthy personality can be compared with WHO mental health criteria:

• A healthy person has a more or less continuous sense of his identity, his psychological and physical being. An important component of this feeling is positive self-esteem and self-respect. Of course, this means an adult, since a teenager still has to solve this problem and this is normal.
• A healthy person is characterized by the occurrence of identical and understandable experiences in similar (same type) situations. That is, a healthy person is open in his unconscious reactions to certain events, and is able to take them into account and reconcile them with his conscious thinking and self-image.
• A healthy person strives to be critical of himself and the products of his psyche (thoughts, ideas, fantasies, ideas, etc.). This implies both adequate self-esteem, the ability to look at oneself and one’s activities from the outside, and the ability to learn from one’s own and others’ mistakes.
• A healthy person reacts according to the strength of a stressful event; under severe stress, he may experience severe anxiety, which mobilizes him to adequate behavior to overcome the threat, if possible. If a stressful event could not be prevented (for example, the death of a loved one), then a grief reaction is natural. However, such reactions to mildly expressed stressors are uncharacteristic.
• A healthy person is also characterized by the ability to manage his behavior in accordance with the norms, laws and rules accepted in a given society. In addition to self-respect, an important criterion for a person with a healthy psyche is respect for others, as well as the ability to love. Social norms help to bring one's behavior into line with the environment in which a person is located. However, a healthy psyche is also characterized by the ability to flexibly and critically assess the appropriateness and nuances of applying certain rules to each situation.
• An important ability is also the planning of one’s own life activities and the ability to implement what is planned, as well as the ability to be flexible in the process of achieving a goal. A person with a healthy psyche acts as an active and independent subject of his life in a changing world, fulfilling his unique destiny in it.
• In addition, it is important to be willing to change your behavior depending on changing situations and life circumstances.

It is easier for a healthy person to solve personal problems if they arise, and it is easier to seek help (including psychotherapeutic help) if necessary.

In addition, participation in psychological trainings can be a valuable experience, which can, for example, develop self-confidence, the ability to solve certain problems that arise, develop communication skills, etc.

Psychosomatics

At first glance, mental health does not have much impact on physical health. Patients, when visiting a doctor, describe only physical symptoms, without mentioning psychological difficulties. The doctor cannot make a correct diagnosis, treatment is delayed and does not produce results. The physical manifestations of the disease will not go away until the true cause, the psychological one, is eliminated.

To understand how nervous tension affects the body, you need to open an anatomical atlas. All organs are connected and united by two systems: circulatory and lymphatic. Normally, all processes function continuously: nutrients enter the body with the blood, and together with the lymphatic fluid they are removed from the body.

But if the psychological balance is disturbed, nervous tension arises. The brain, as an internal manager, triggers a survival mechanism that causes the adrenal glands to produce a stress hormone. In a situation of real danger, this gives a person the strength to run away or fight. The psychological problem is not perceived as an objective danger, the person remains tense and the excess hormones are not consumed. Gradually, the stress hormone interferes with the functioning of the brain, digestive and cardiovascular systems.

The somatic manifestation of the disease is the presence of symptoms in the absence of a physiological cause. Wandering pains, muscle spasms, swelling, migraines, a sudden attack of allergies - all these signs can be somatic. If tests and ultrasound do not help find the cause of the malaise, you need to consult a psychologist.

Accented personalities

Accented personalities (that is, people who have an emphasis on one character trait that may distinguish them from others, but also create a risk for the onset of a disorder) may also not have signs of a mental disorder if they are in favorable conditions. However, if they find themselves in unfavorable conditions, they may develop one or another mental disorder.

For example, a person with demonstrative personality traits who finds himself in a situation where he is chronically ignored may feel anxious, painful, and may develop hysterical symptoms.

A person with schizoid (closed) character traits who finds himself in a situation where he needs to communicate a lot (for example, getting a job as a salesperson) may develop depression.

A person with dependent personality traits can easily become ill if the relationship with the person on whom he depends is disrupted. And so on.

Psychotherapy for people with personality accentuation is indicated, as it can help them alleviate painful experiences that arise in unfavorable situations, as well as develop missing knowledge and skills, for example, in the process of group psychotherapy and personal growth training.

Her Majesty Depression

The rapid movement of life, the abundance of information (often negative), rapidly changing living conditions and activities, the development of megacities, daily stress - all this was not familiar to people until the beginning of the twentieth century, which is why depression is called a disease of modern society. Feelings of hopelessness and depression are familiar to many people of different ages; personal problems have arisen.

At an early stage, a person can cope with this feeling on his own, however, if depression persists, he should seek outside help to resolve personal problems. Only a psychotherapist can pull a person out of the swamp of a depressive state, restore joy from the sensations of everyday life, communication with friends, family life, relationships with a loved one, and overcome personal problems.

Children's difficulties

Psychological problems in children arise at different periods of their lives. They are of different nature. These may be the following difficulties:

• children's aggression and impulsiveness;
• isolation;
• moodiness and tearfulness;
• timidity and shyness;
• low self-esteem;
• high level of anxiety;
• increased sensitivity;
• stubbornness;
• fears and all kinds of phobias;
• inattention;
• difficulty remembering information;
• various problems of psychological development;
• poor performance at school;
• difficulties with adaptation to a school or kindergarten;
• problems communicating with peers and adults;

If any kind of psychological difficulties arise, it is necessary to seek advice from a child psychologist, since the child’s psyche is a very fragile structure.