What words can you calm and console a person: advice from a psychologist. How to respond to words of consolation and reassurance?

What words can you reassure and console your loved one? What is better to say at such a moment, read the article.

There is not a single person in the world whose life would be only bright and carefree. Problems at work and in love, unfulfilled ambitions, misunderstanding of society, uncertainty - all this leaves its mark. As a result, a person withdraws into himself and becomes despondent.

Read another article on our website on the topic: “What to respond to the words “take care of yourself”: options . You will learn why you should not say the phrase “take care of yourself.”

Without a doubt, sometimes each of us wants to be alone with ourselves. But staying in negative thoughts for a long time is not recommended. Long-term, systematic experiences can cause real depression, the consequences of which are quite sad. This article describes how you can support and comfort a person in difficult times. Read on.

How to support a person and calm him down in difficult times: advice from a psychologist

Supporting a person in difficult times
How to survive a difficult stage of life? The support of family, friends and relatives often helps. Of course, we are talking about moral aspects. It is very important for an upset and confused person to know that he is not alone, that there are always those nearby who will not give up and lend their reliable shoulder. But not all people are able to talk honestly and openly with each other about problems. Some of us have certain “blocks” inside us. They do not allow you to fully express what is in your heart.

In addition, a large number of people do not delve into the personal problems of their offspring - as a result, such individuals, growing up, do not understand what “support” is and how important it is sometimes to conduct a dialogue about hidden things. How to provide support correctly? How to support a person and calm him down in difficult times? Below you will find advice from a psychologist.

In fact, there are several important factors that make up the assistance in this case:

Empathy:

The “victim” must understand that a loved one feels how difficult it is for him and understands the essence of the problem.
You need to learn to perceive someone else’s grief as your own: “I understand that it’s not easy for you now,” “I’m also very sorry that this happened,” “Don’t worry, I understand perfectly well what it’s like for you now,” etc.

Listening skills:

Often, it is enough for an upset person to simply talk about his mental pain, and he will immediately feel better.
Of course, you should give your interlocutor the opportunity to tell him what is bothering him.
Information should be perceived adequately, without phlegmatism or unnecessary fun.
You should show interest and really try to understand the essence of events.
Sometimes you can give actionable advice.
And sometimes a person will calm down on his own as soon as he expresses everything that has accumulated. It wouldn't hurt to say a kind word. It must be sincere.

Physical concerns:

In addition to verbal consolation: “Don’t worry, you will definitely succeed,” “Don’t reproach yourself, everyone makes mistakes,” “Don’t be upset, everything will be fine in your life ,” actions are also important.
You can hug a person, give him tea, cover him with a blanket, pat him on the head, etc. He will be very grateful to you.
Often victims of depression are also deprived of physical strength. They cannot take care of themselves in the everyday sense (for example, cook food or clean the apartment). By helping them with this, you also contribute to their speedy recovery and correction of the situation.

Please be understanding:

You should avoid phrases like: “What did you want? It’s your own fault!”, “It’s clear why guys don’t pay attention to you! You’re ugly,” etc.
In other words, when consoling, there is no need to make rude value judgments and there is no need to reproach the person.
After all, he is already going through hard times.
It would be much better to set his thoughts on a positive wave and instill confidence that everything will fall into place and a lot will improve in his life.

Always be there:

This will provide an opportunity to help a depressed person in difficult times.
You should also ask if he needs anything. Of course, many sufferers show “willpower” and say that they don’t need anything. But that's not true.
In fact, it is in such moments that we all feel vulnerable and defenseless.

It’s great if there is someone who can take care of us and sincerely support us.

The importance of supporting a man with words in a difficult situation

It is important for any person that the family is strong and everyone in it feels happy. A woman must study and understand the psychology of a man in order to understand how to behave in a relationship. In childhood, your current companion was supported by his mother; when he got married, this responsibility passed to his wife.

The care and attention of a beloved girl is pleasant to any representative of the stronger sex. Every man has talents and abilities, it is important to recognize and celebrate this. A woman can inspire her husband to achieve his goals. The wife should know how to support a man with words. If a person is only criticized, he will not have the desire to achieve anything in life.

In the eyes of some women, men look like superheroes, capable of defeating all enemies and protecting their beloved from any trouble. Other representatives of the fair sex play the role of a mother, overly protective and pitying their spouses. It is necessary to realize that a man is a person with his own strengths and weaknesses; first of all, he needs understanding.

In different life situations, a spouse needs support from his wife. These could be the following:

job loss;
loss of a large sum of money;
betrayal of a friend;
death of a loved one;
quarrel with parents.

Show attention, listen to your spouse, thus proving your love. All cases require an individual approach.

How to calm and console a person: what not to do?

Supporting a person in difficult times
Let's talk about false support. Often (consciously or unconsciously) people try to support, but they only make things worse. So, how to calm and console a person? What not to do?

As was said earlier, you should not rush at the sufferer with reproaches.
This way you only worsen his emotional state.
Even if a person made a mistake, perhaps he already realizes it and reproaches himself. There is no need to aggravate his feelings.

What else should you not do?

“Shut up” the interlocutor - emotions must find a way out. It will become easier for the sufferer if he expresses all his grievances and fears. Instead, many simply interrupt the emotions of the one who is complaining, with words like: “Get it together, you rag!”, “Why are you whining like a girl?”, “Well, quickly stop crying!”, “How much can you whine?” etc. This should not be done. Because such phrases will not provide any real help to the sufferer.
Devaluing suffering - some people, listening to someone’s experiences, involuntarily squeeze out something like: “Oh, just think, there’s a problem! I found something to worry about!” . On the one hand, to an adviser, these things may indeed seem like “empty words.” But it’s worth remembering – for those who are worried, this is very important. That is why it is worth trying to get into his position and live the events on his behalf. Only then will you feel this pain, resentment and frustration.
Confusing sympathy and pity - constantly cooing with the sufferer can aggravate the situation (as well as in the case when, instead of supporting, you scold him). You should not call your interlocutor too often “unfortunate”, “poor” and communicate with him like a child. Of course he needs a kind word. But this should be motivation, not pity.
Look for the guilty - even if the sufferer himself caused these problems, he will not be better off from reproaches. It is much better to think about the situation and give him some effective advice on how to fix everything.
Lowering the self-esteem of the sufferer - “you are weak”, “you are useless”, “you are ugly”, “you are a loser” - such words can “bury” an upset person even more in a hole of complexes. Even if a person “doesn’t have enough stars in the sky,” you shouldn’t remind him of this once again.
Pulling the blanket - this category includes phrases like: “Do you really have a problem? Here I have it." Of course, no one says that the adviser does not have difficulties in life. But at the moment, the problem of the one who came to “cry” is being sorted out. Therefore comparisons are not allowed.

Purity of thoughts and a kind heart will help to properly support a person. You should be understanding and caring, and temporarily abstract yourself from selfishness and self-interest. Then everything will work out.

How to comfort your man if he's having a bad day

If his business outside the home is not going well. Then he must be in a calm environment when he comes home. Meet him at the door, kiss him, invite him to sit down and relax. I don't encourage you to dance in front of him. What I suggest is to help him find a way to release testosterone. Help your loved one relax, relieve tension and stress. Do what he likes. Perhaps he relaxes while sitting in his favorite chair, watching a football match, or when you give him a massage. Each man may have his own preferences.

He may want to share what happened to him. Then listen carefully to him. Let him talk more. But, if he does not ask for your advice, you should not advise him on anything. Let him just let off steam through words, and don't interrupt him by asking for clarification. It doesn't matter that you don't understand the details, they don't matter now. Just nod sympathetically and support him. And never say that he should have done this or that way. This will only complicate the situation.

What words can you calm and console a person?

Supporting a person in difficult times
It is important to find the right words at the moment of support. What words can you calm and console a person? Here are some options:

Do not worry everything will be alright.
Don't worry so much, everything can still be fixed. Do you want me to help you?
Don't be upset, everyone makes mistakes. Try again next time. You will definitely succeed.
You are Wery nice person. I believe that all troubles are temporary. Your life will definitely get better, you'll see.
Never mind.
Look at the problem from the other side. Perhaps it was even for the best that everything happened this way. At least now you have experience. And it’s better that we get through this unpleasant situation together now than if you get hit later.
Don't be upset. As they say, if a woman leaves for another, then it remains to be seen which of you is lucky.
Don't beat yourself up, you really did the best you could in this situation.
Trust me, everything will be fine. I know it. Don't give up, try again. I believe in you! You will achieve everything you want!

But some phrases should not be said. They are described below. Read on.

If your friend cries, what to do?

We most often share our sorrows and worries with a friend, even more than with our mother. Therefore, it is difficult to watch a loved one cry.

Reassuring your friend is both easy and difficult at the same time! What should you do? First you need to listen, distract, encourage. Then show the situation from the other side, for example, if a guy dumped him, it could be for the better.

If you are not heard, then give a sedative or spend the evening together over a glass of wine. The main thing is to listen to her, then try to find a way out of the situation.

If your friend is silent, let her be silent. Be close and she will start talking. Just don’t talk about your problems, she has no time for them. Remember how a friend found a way out of any situation and continued to live life to the fullest.

If your friend has calmed down a little, laugh about the problem together. Humor always brings balance, just don’t overdo it so as not to offend!

Forbidden words of comfort

When consoling a person, it is important to say the right words. Otherwise you can only do harm and make things worse. If you want to say something like the phrases described below, then it is better to remain silent. It is wrong to teach at this moment. Remember this so that some phrase does not inadvertently break out. Here are the prohibiting words of consolation:

Why are you so different, like a woman? Just think, it's a problem! This has happened to me a million times, and nothing happened - alive and well!
What did you want? You yourself are to blame for what happened!
It was predictable! Look at you! Are you really that naive that you thought you could do this?
That's what I thought. For a person like you, everything works out “in one place.”
You're just a nobody! How could you fail even such a basic task?
It's right that this happened to you! You're really no good for anything!
Just forget. You really have no chance!
Don't even try next time. You are a loser and that says it all!
And I could do it! You see, I'm cooler than you!

This is offensive to hear even for a person with a positive attitude, but for someone who is depressed it will be doubly unpleasant.

What should a guy do?

Every guy has more than once found himself in a situation where he needs to calm down a crying girl. Before you take action, find out what happened? Often a girl begins to act up in order to get her way.

It's up to you to react or not. If you want to indulge your whims, then apologize, buy what he asks for. Provocations will continue.

If something serious happens, then first hug her and stand in this position for a while. This helps a lot because the girl will feel protected and reliable.

Then listen to her, try to calm her down with words.

Look at her problem optimistically, say that everything is not so bad.
Offer a solution to the situation. If you yourself don’t know how to “solve” her problem, still make it clear that a way out can be found.
Let her know that she is not alone and can count on your help.
If you are far away, then maintain constant contact with her, letting her know that she is not alone.
Walking around the city together or going to a cafe helps a lot.
Hugs, kisses, declarations of love are powerful weapons against crying.

How to calm a person who is hysterical?

Supporting a hysterical person in difficult times
Hysteria is an insidious phenomenon that can overtake a person everywhere: at home, at work, in transport, on the street. And even if a person considers himself emotionally stable, there is no guarantee that a turning point event will not happen that will break him and throw him off balance. Of course, the result of stopping a hysteria is calm. But unlike a banal depressed state, a person in hysterics does not always react to beliefs and words. Emotions do not allow him to take a sober look at life and the problem.

Essentially, there is a change in emotions. The person loses control over himself. Experiences overwhelm him so much that they require a momentary outburst. Perhaps the victim of hysteria understands the absurdity and absurdity of his situation. But she can’t control herself on her own.

By the way, this “outburst” can be expressed not only in sobs, but also in uncontrollable laughter, strange gestures and even outbursts of aggression. Accordingly, sometimes a hysterical person can even be dangerous for others. In moments of nervous breakdowns, even frail people experience unprecedented physical strength from somewhere. They can injure others or even kill them.

How to help a person? How to calm a person who is hysterical? Here are some tips:

It should be remembered that any hysteria has a reason. The support of loved ones is also important.
If the hysterical person does not respond to your words of support and consolation, you can call his relatives. One way or another, such a person cannot be left alone.
Start communicating with him. Change the dialogue to a positive tone.
Try to instill in him the “correct”, optimistic thoughts.
Show that you really understand and empathize with him.
Evaluate the actions of the hysteric. What are they aimed at? The first task in this case: to prevent sad, tragic consequences. If the hysteric is aggressive, you should win his trust and gently, tactfully dissuade him from rash actions (for example, committing suicide or causing harm to someone).
During communication, you can try to call an ambulance (103). The main thing is to hold the person until the brigade arrives. If the reason for the hysteria is clear, you can try to calm the person down with a kind word, the conviction that his problems will definitely be solved.
However, hysterics, driven to extremes, often do not listen to reason. It is important to communicate in such a way that the victim of hysteria understands that this is not an enemy, but a friend and adviser who does not want harm. It's difficult, but doable.
You should not express retaliatory aggression towards the hysterical person, insult and humiliate him, ridicule him, threaten him, etc.
Communicate kindly, sincerely, trustingly. Sooner or later, when the scales begin to fall from his eyes, the hysterical person will begin to trust you. And it will slowly calm down.

Even this little thing will help a person calm down.

How to comfort your man if he is sick

I don't know how your man behaves, but mine becomes angry and irritable. Working with a sick adult man is really not easy. Quite often, men in such situations require solitude, of course, after providing the necessary help. Your job is to determine what he needs right now. Although his frequent expression - "leave me alone, I want to sleep" can really help. But there are also cases when you cannot determine what he wants, because the man simply does not say anything. And in these cases, when it comes to comforting a sick man, try to give him the necessary medicines, feed him and do what he asks. And if he does not have a serious illness, he will stop complaining.

Best Communication Techniques to Reassure Someone

Supporting a person in difficult times
It is imperative to listen to the person’s complaints (if he begins to express them). Try to understand him and show him with your appearance that you are really on his side. When hysterics see that they are not just being talked into, but share their problem, they calm down a little.

Support is similar in the case of an acquaintance, colleague, or friend. The first step is to ask if you need help. Perhaps the person just wants to run away to a distant place and cry there. You shouldn't chase him. He will return on his own. If a person just cries and is silent, you can try to calm him down verbally, give him water or a sedative, ask him to tell him what’s bothering him.

By the way, many upset people do not need sedatives so much as friends and listeners. After all, depression often arises precisely from the fact that a person simply has no one to share his experiences with. Negative emotions accumulate and, as a result, break out in the form of uncontrollable hysteria. These are the best methods of communication.

Advice: Don't lecture! It’s better to use phrases like: “I understand you,” “Don’t worry, I want to help you,” etc. If a person wants to cry and talk to you, great. This is a sign that the tension will soon subside. After all, many hysterics do not last more than 5-7 minutes . You can hug and say that the person is dear to you, that you care about his problems and that you are nearby - which means he can feel safe.

When a person calms down, you can analyze his problem and give real advice or even offer practical help in resolving his issues.

Changing activities is an effective way

Turn on the TV . Children's program. Of course, if the TV or something similar was not the cause of the child’s hysteria, which must be extinguished.
Board games . Here are reviews of board games and free board games for download.
Computer games.
Book reading . Especially reading a book with your parents. What to read?
Playing with plasticine . For example, you can make monster faces out of plasticine.
Drawing , coloring.
Audio stories or songs.
Loud singing to relieve stress.
Playing with toys.
Warm bath .
Snack . True, food should not be abused as a way of distraction. “Don’t cry, eat some candy” reinforces sweets in the brain as a way to overcome a stressful situation.
Drink a glass of water .

How to respond to words of consolation and reassurance?

Of course, when someone supported and consoled you, it is always nice. You will want to respond appropriately to such kind words. This also needs to be done correctly. How to respond to words of consolation and reassurance? Here are the options:

Thank you for your support and kind words! After talking with you, I really felt better.
Sorry, I somehow got unstuck. But I am very glad that you were understanding of my problems and listened to me.
Thanks you're a real friend! I really appreciate your support! If there are such kind, sympathetic and understanding people around me as you, I really have nothing to worry about.
Thanks for the kind words. Don't worry, I'm much better now.

You may want to say other words as well. Every person who wants to help or respond to help will find the right words, especially if someone close is supporting. If you are at a loss and don't know what to say, use the tips in this article and you will succeed. Good luck!

Supporting a man with words in a difficult situation from a distance

If a difficult situation in the life of your loved one arose in your absence and you cannot come to him right away, you need to react correctly and do everything possible so that the man from afar feels your care. It is important for a woman to know how to support a man with words from a distance when he is sick or experiencing other difficulties.

Try to remain calm and reason rationally, even if it is a really difficult case. Your spouse is likely also experiencing a lot of emotions, and most of them are negative. Perhaps he is confused. It is you who can support him and become his support.

3 important steps

which every woman should go through

Anika Snagovskaya

Author and presenter of women's trainings on harmonizing feminine energy. Master of removing limiting beliefs and master of constellations.

I have prepared three lessons for you that will help you better understand yourself, remove the restrictions that prevent you from feeling loved and living happily.

Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity

You will learn about 5 female states that exist in every woman, how they manifest themselves and which archetypes are most manifested in you and which are not developed.

Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships

I’ll tell you what you need to do to free your heart from old feelings and break the energy threads connecting you with your past partner.

Audio recording: Neuro-af

Thanks to this neuro-affirmation, you can regain self-love and feel sincere gratitude and happiness for every day.

Take your gifts!

When talking on the phone, give him time to tell him everything he considers necessary, and then talk to him calmly. If you panic, worry and get nervous, he will start to worry even more. You must distance yourself from negativity and act wisely.

During a video call, try to control yourself and not cry or get hysterical about bad messages. There are no unsolvable problems; usually everything ends well. It’s better not to panic, but to tune in to finding ways to overcome difficulties and grief. Instill the same in a man. Seeing your determination and calm attitude, he will pull himself together and begin to act.

When communicating by mail or via instant messengers, you have time to think through every word without revealing your emotions. This is the easiest way to hide negativity and express a positive attitude. Being far from your loved one makes it difficult to provide true support.

A woman, observing the current situation from the outside, has the opportunity to evaluate it differently and offer alternative solutions to the problem. A man, being in a state of passion, will not immediately be able to think rationally and draw conclusions. Having learned the details from your spouse, it is worth retelling to him in your own words what happened, highlighting the positive aspects, and showing ways to solve problems.

If you understand that your spouse has difficulties, for example, with work, but he does not want to share with you now, do not interrogate him. You, of course, want to console him with words, but in this case, try to move on to another topic, distract him or unobtrusively cheer him up. After a while he will tell you everything himself.

Active techniques for calming children

Use physical activity to burn energy. This is both a strategy for switching attention and simply physical fatigue, which allows you to sleep better at night.

Jump on a fitness ball .
Jump without a ball, on the spot.
Run.
Ride a bike .
Dance . An idea for dancing is a dance cube.

When you lose a loved one

The death of a loved one from illness, at predictable dates or due to extreme situations when it happens unexpectedly, always has a strong frustrating effect on those left to live. In addition to the immediate loved ones of the victims, those who will try to help them and somehow calm them down are also subject to secondary traumatization. This is what explains the stupor of many and the inability to find the right words to calm a person down.

There is no recipe that can, in one magic phrase or action, remove the pain of loss and calm a person who has lost a loved one, but you can help someone else experience grief and return to their life by forming new patterns of interaction. Do not try to distract the person from what happened with other conversations or proposals for activities - in the first period, all thoughts will still be devoted only to death, and your attempts can lead to withdrawal. If there are no words, then it is better to sit next to you and be silent, and you can start speaking only when the person experiencing grief turns to you, and it is better to listen to what he tells you.

Your task is to show that you are nearby and can provide support. It is important not to say this phrase, but to make it clear on completely different levels - maintain constant contact. You can call on the phone and ask if the person has food, if they need help in closing accounts and filling out the papers of the deceased, stop by and give them a ride where necessary. Those. you do not focus attention on what happened with questions about your well-being and how difficult it is after the loss. Perhaps one day, when the person himself is ready to talk, he will call and ask for a meeting. Then be prepared for tears and difficult experiences, with which you do not need to do anything, just listen, but listen carefully.

Breathing exercises for children

Breathing exercises help control excessive physiological arousal.

Here are some examples of exercises that help children master deep breathing (most exercises are also used in speech therapy practice, that is, they are also useful for speech development):

Pretend you smell the flower.
Pretend to take the candle away so it doesn't go out.
Blow on the turntable.
Blow on the napkin (piece of napkin) on the table to make it move.
Blow bubbles (homemade soap bubble recipes).
Blow out the candle.
Deep breathing while the adult counts to 10.
Alternate nostril breathing is a yoga breathing technique exercise. Place your thumb on your right nostril and your index finger on your left nostril. Hold the right nostril with your thumb and inhale slowly through the left. Exhale through the right nostril, closing the left. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds and inhale through your right nostril, leaving your left nostril closed. Continue alternating sides.
Belly breathing (breathing through the diaphragm).

Psychological methods

There are certain ways that will help you stop feeling sorry for yourself and crying over little things.

Leave for later. Whenever you want to cry, you should try to postpone this idea. Even if it is difficult to do, you must try to normalize your mental balance. Concentration is important. It is necessary to mentally gather yourself in order to overcome the tears that have come. Do not forget that the absence of crying is generally impossible. Systematic suppression of tears contributes to mental disorders and breakdowns. You can resort to something that can distract you: watch a funny video on the Internet, count examples.
Meditation. In this case, it is not necessary to go deep into yoga; you can study several methods, namely: you should retire, position yourself so that it is comfortable, close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly and deeply.
Put it on paper. You can write about what upsets you and makes you cry. This method is equivalent to a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend.
Gratitude. Many times a person may want to cry because of problems on the personal front. In this case, you need to think about past negative situations and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is worth understanding that more serious problems were experienced. Don’t forget to thank fate and God for the good moments in life.

Words of support for a loved one

The other half must constantly feel the support of a loved one, since everyone is a support for each other in a difficult situation, a vest in misfortune and a person with whom they share success. It is definitely necessary to speak out one more time about your own feelings, repeating that it is easier to cope with all sorts of problems together. Be sure to express your own feelings: “How painful it is to watch you upset,” “I worry too, just like you.” Such phrases bring people together, make the conversation sincere and create a trusting atmosphere. And even if you are unable to choose the necessary words or know that chatter is currently unnecessary, just stay close. In some cases, no words can replace the presence of a loved one.

Ask anything

It doesn't matter if the other person is going crazy, if you want the conversation to go back to normal, telling them that they are crazy won't help the matter because arguing is almost always a covert way of fighting.

How to ask for help correctly: what to say so that you are not refused

You can make a large playhouse for children: take note of the method

Son of Alexander Domogarov: “My mess is ideal for me, I know where everything is”

A person who is nervous will interpret your words as an attack and become even more aggressive.

However, the act of asking a question and listening to the answer helps us identify and reflect a person's emotional state, regardless of the content of what they say. This will help bring the conversation back to normal faster than any attempt to ask to calm down.

Exercises for concentrating in children

Body Scanning Meditation - This meditation technique involves systematically and intentionally moving our attention through our body, paying attention to different sensations in different parts of it.
Developmental tasks for the child's attention. Used to prevent children's tantrums when you see that the child is overexcited.

memory,
dotted outlines,
logical tasks: Sudoku, mazes,
find the assignments and show them.

Listening to the problem

The most important thing is to be sure to give the person the opportunity to speak out. There is no need to be afraid of the stream of “outpourings of soul” and to plunge into panic: not a single person will demand violent intervention and an immediate solution to absolutely all difficulties. It is also better to postpone questions, recommendations and accumulated wisdom for later: at this stage, a person only needs to understand that he is not alone, that he is heard, and openly sympathized with him. Listening does not mean standing still and remaining silent until the end of the monologue. Such actions rather smack of indifference. Words that soothe the soul: certainly, of course; expressions of support (“I understand you, I support you”). Sometimes you should repeat “hackneyed” phrases or words - all this will demonstrate that the support is not feigned, but comes from the heart. At the same time, this will help both of them concentrate on their own thoughts.