Why do we beat ourselves up and how to stop doing it

Hi all! Today’s topic may seem strange to some, because we usually talk about how to think well, quickly, and creatively. However, there are times when excessive thinking does not lead to anything good. Those moments when you seem to need to sleep, but your brain continues to analyze some issue, which is why your sleep is disrupted and you feel broken the whole next day. Those moments when it’s time to turn your attention to something else, but there’s something of a fixation. In general, today is about how to turn off thinking.

Physical Stress

Our brain always has feedback from the outside world and from our own body, which is why the blood flow to different parts of the brain and those same neurotransmitters change. Let's say, if your leg hurts and you are walking down the street, then at that very moment you will not care about your immediate plans, career and personal life. When your opioid system can't cope with pain relief and adrenaline speeds up your heart rate, it's simply impossible to think about anything else. Such moments regarding health and self-preservation are the most powerful triggers for stopping thinking. The stronger the pain, the more difficult it is to think.

Fortunately, there is a way to harm the body with benefit - sports. Heavy loads, when the muscles are simply splashing around in lactic acid, is the first way to stop thinking.

The main thing here is not to go to extremes and not get injured. Any kind of sport will do, as long as it is difficult.

Sports loads reliably improve some intellectual abilities, therefore, after a regular workout, due to changes in biochemistry, you will be able to think and reason better (1, 2, 3).

A visit to the sauna can also be considered beneficial for moderate pain. Even a simple immersion in cold water for a certain time already changes the blood test. In this study, there were several entries into water with a temperature of 14 degrees, each entry for 20 minutes. It can be seen that adrenaline and norepinephrine differ significantly (4). With such analyzes, any unnecessary thoughts will disappear from you. Let's move on to the second biohack!

Life without control

At the physiological level, everything is simple. There is a hypothesis that everyone can test for themselves: the body has an ideal self-regulation system. If you comply with several conditions, excess weight will never appear. Let's look at these conditions in detail.

Nutritious food

First of all, this means not limiting the caloric intake needed by the body . This number is not calculated using a calculator, but empirically. You need to rely on your feeling of hunger and well-being. This could be 2000 kcal, or 2500 or even 4000, if you train a lot and actively.

Of course, this also applies to regularity of nutrition. 3 or 5 times a day is not so important. But once or twice is worse; with such regularity it will not be possible to maintain balance.

I used to think that I had to constantly be careful not to eat more than I needed. Do not eat more calories than my body will burn in a day, do not eat more carbohydrates than necessary for movement and basal metabolism.

My body, as it turned out, works differently: it is important for it to have energy “in reserve” ; its needs must always be fully satisfied. Responding to your feeling of hunger is the only strategy that helps you get rid of not only periodic overeating, but also constant weight swings.

The pleasure of eating

Eat with pleasure and trust your desires, but at the same time take into account the laws by which your body works.

Let's say you want a cake. You can eat it right now. Or you can eat it after lunch - then the portion will be smaller, and in addition, you will be able to satisfy the real needs of the body, and not just the brain’s need for glucose.

What makes the body swollen is not just one cake eaten instead of lunch, but the systematic replacement of meals with various types of non-nutritious, but high-calorie foods.

Daily routine and self-care

Long flights and transfers can cause swelling; lack of sleep has an even stronger effect.
The worst way to help yourself look better in such a situation is to take care of containers and regular exercise. It is more important to get enough sleep, rest, gain strength and calm down. Then the natural rhythms and self-regulation of the body will work perfectly and without any control.

Mood

The better your mood, the less you worry about something. Anything could happen here. You need to think about in what cases you are in the best mood: someone is having success in work and finances, another is having a great get-together with friends, a third is more into books and movies, and a fourth is enjoying debauchery with strange madams. Biohackers mix all the points at once) There is no right or wrong way. The range of pleasures is wide and differs from person to person. So remember when and under what circumstances you feel cool.

It’s worth mentioning separately about massage and meditation. Massage is a great way to reduce the stress hormones cortisol and norepinephrine, which indirectly improves your mood (5).

Well, there was an episode about meditation. Here, for example, is a meta-analysis from the 17th year, which talks about a decrease in cortisol, c-reactive protein, and blood pressure (6). Simply put, a thing that is useful for the psyche and mood!

The first 2 biohacks are like different poles from the norm. Sport is closer to pain, albeit useful. Feeling great is the opposite of pain. Although there are overlapping points here, the massage itself causes discomfort, but on the contrary, it reduces stress in the long term, or Runner’s Euphoria, when a person experiences an almost narcotic high after a certain kilometer due to the activation of the cannabinoid and opioid systems (7). It’s quite an unusual feeling, I must say, it seems like you’re tired, but you seem to be rushing, +10 to charisma and mood.

How to stop being nervous

To learn how to cope with difficult situations more easily, you need to understand how an emotional response is formed in the human brain. Stimuli (light, smells, sounds) through the senses enter the most ancient part of the brain - the brainstem, and only then - into the prefrontal cortex of the cerebral hemispheres. This is where the processing of incoming information occurs when a person is very angry or afraid. The prefrontal cortex dulls emotions and controls them, making it possible to reassess the situation and develop the most appropriate strategy for solving it.

Not only the cerebral cortex takes part in processing signals from the outside. The amygdala is another pathway through which impulses are converted into emotions. In situations of extreme danger, the amygdala initiates an emotional reaction and pushes for quick responses. For example, when a mother sees that her child is in danger, she rushes to save him in a split second, without any thought.

Are you nervous about anything, do you feel like stressful situations are taking all your strength? To reduce the intensity of reactions to life situations and stop being driven, you can use our tips.

Thought control

The habit of conducting an internal dialogue with oneself is one of the factors that enhances the reaction to different situations. The thoughts that constantly spin in your head are usually negative. They contain condemnation or evaluation of actions (one’s own, other people’s), and negative forecasts for the future. In most cases, such mental chewing gum further increases emotional discomfort. To avoid this effect, you need to learn to interrupt the flow of destructive thoughts.

To do this you need:

• concentrate on the stream of thoughts that are spinning in your head right now, become aware of them.
• mentally say: “Stop!”, stopping the internal dialogue.

Another option for stopping the flow of negative thoughts is to shift the focus of attention from them to the real situation outside. You need to pay attention to where you are now, what is happening in the place where you are. Ask yourself a few questions:

• what I see?
• what I feel?
• what is happening to me?
• How is this for me (dangerous/safe)?
• what can I do in this situation?
• What useful can I take from this situation?

This switching of attention relieves tension and allows you to realistically assess the situation.

Don't plan what doesn't depend on you

If you strive to keep events under control, in most cases this leads to disruption of plans and disappointment. To avoid acute emotional reactions associated with the failure of plans, you should always remember that surprises and circumstances beyond your control are part of real life. Understanding this relieves stress.

You can avoid falling into an emotional hole due to the fact that you cannot implement all your plans if you think through in advance the options for the development of events if something does not correspond to your scenario. For example, you arrive in a foreign city in the middle of the night and expect to be able to call a taxi. But during the trip, the battery in the phone is discharged and you cannot make calls. An option to get out of the situation is to use the services of taxi drivers who are already at the station or ask to be a travel companion to people who were able to get through to the taxi service.

Get rid of expectations

Expectations that are not met are one of the most common causes of internal tension and disappointment. It is important to understand that it is impossible to force other people to meet your expectations. They need to be given the right to behave and act in the way they consider acceptable.

It’s not easy to learn this if you yourself have a feeling, if you “should” meet other people’s expectations and try to realize this in life. The best way to get rid of such a feeling is to find its cause together with a psychologist and analyze how the feeling of “I should” corresponds to the current situation.

Meditate

The tendency to irritability and impulsive actions is a problem associated with an insufficiently developed ability to control oneself. You can develop self-control and reduce the impact of stress through meditation. Meditative practices help maintain a balance of physical and spiritual energy, increase the level of attention and awareness.

An important part of meditation is breathing control. Observe how you inhale and exhale in a familiar rhythm, do this until you feel that you have begun to calm down. Next, control your breathing using a simple technique:

• inhale through your nose, counting to 4;
• hold your breath for up to 16 seconds;
• exhale through your mouth for a count of 8.

If you feel dizzy during the breathing exercise, return to your normal breathing rhythm. If you feel fine, you can do a few more cycles of breathing practice.

During breathing meditation, you need to keep your back straight so that your organs do not experience restrictions in movement. At the end of the meditation, sit in silence for a few minutes and observe how your emotions have changed.

Laugh

Laughter is a great way to cope with tension caused by stress. If you feel a wave of worry, anxiety or irritation coming over you, switch. You can use short videos or pictures with a funny plot for this. Treat yourself to short sessions of laughter therapy every morning to create a positive outlook for the whole day.

Water therapy

Water is one of the best remedies for combating stress and depressive mood. If you want to relieve the tension that has accumulated during the day, swim for 30-40 minutes in the river, sea or pool. If there is no such opportunity, it’s also not a problem. It is enough to stand for 10-15 minutes under the stream of a warm shower to get rid of accumulated unpleasant emotions, feel relief and switch to pleasant sensations.

Do you feel like you got up in the morning and you’re not looking forward to the day ahead? Do exercises and take a contrast shower. It activates blood circulation and the hormonal system. You will immediately feel that your mood has changed for the better.

Have a cry

Don't be afraid of tears. Crying is a natural reaction of the nervous system, which needs to be freed from excessive tension. It can be caused by both negative events and a positively colored situation.

A bout of crying for 10-15 minutes allows you to get rid of tension. After it, you may feel empty and physically weak. In such a situation, the best thing you can do for yourself is rest. If possible, get some sleep or just sit in a comfortable chair in silence and drink warm tea.

Try to avoid acute situations

You know your weak points, you understand what your psyche reacts to especially violently - try to avoid situations that will make you nervous. If you are worried about being late, leave the house early. You know that shopping will cause you a storm of unpleasant emotions - write a shopping list and don’t waste extra time wandering around the hall and looking at products that are irrelevant to you.

The best way to stop being nervous in situations that repeat regularly is to work through them with a psychologist. You will be able to understand why you tolerate them (as in the case of being late) and what exactly makes you worry so much.

Make thorough preparations for important events

Plan and prepare, carefully think through all the nuances of possible events, look for options to get out of possible difficult situations. This advice applies to any more or less important event in your life.

Remember that the better prepared you are, the lower your stress level. Whether you are planning to enter a university, go on vacation or change jobs, careful planning taking into account all possible scenarios allows you to maintain composure and avoid stress in any situation.

Play some sports

Physical activity is necessary to maintain a good mood and cope with stress more easily. Exercise reduces cortisol levels and stimulates the production of endorphin, a hormone-like substance that improves mood. Even minor but regular physical activity increases the ability to concentrate, increases endurance and strengthens the nervous system.

Action

The third biohack is not as effective as the first 2, but is very simple. To stop thinking, you need to start doing something. Are you fixated on something? Start cleaning your house without hesitation. Prepare a meal or, without hesitation, start writing some kind of report on work or study. If only the actions were complex and not performed automatically. Although, sometimes an ordinary walk is enough (8).

Obsession itself is somewhat similar to OCD - Obsessive-compulsive disorder. According to a Dutch meta-analysis, there are common features in the electrical activity of some brain regions (9). Antidepressants and psychotherapy were effective there. However, if you look at the situation with the brain globally, then it is enough to temporarily shift this very activity, say, to the basal ganglia, one of whose functions is motor. This is the trick of changing activities. It is clear that this will not help in severe cases, this is not accurate data with a billion people in the sample, based on logic - the method is effective.

Substances

If you need to stop your thoughts right now in order to fall asleep normally, for example, there are 3 interesting substances: Melatonin, Doxylamine and Alimemazine.

Melatonin – An additive also called a sleep hormone, it is more suitable for falling asleep, the most harmless of the three. Taken in doses of 3-6 mg.

Doxylamine is a stronger sleeping pill, but not so harsh that you won’t wake up in the morning.

Alimemazine is the mildest antipsychotic with the shortest half-life. Prescribed more often to children. The substance temporarily blocks dopamine for several hours, and dopamine is the neurotransmitter that motivates and causes excessive fixation. It turns out that the intensity of thoughts seems to decrease for a half-life of 3-4 hours. It is better to use this substance rarely; it is still a group of antipsychotics, albeit the weakest of them.

A recent issue on charisma cited evidence that high testosterone makes men more confident, the side effect of which is less thinking. Therefore, hormonal correction may help some people not to retreat into themselves and their thoughts so often.

When to think

Sometimes it’s still worth being obsessive and thinking. If this idea is gradually being implemented, if it is useful for life or solves some problem. In this case, you should think about it and not slow yourself down. When you are marking time, time passes, but there is no result - here is a pause, distract yourself, drive yourself into mild physical stress, force yourself to do something else or do what you like. After a break, new creative ideas and solutions always appear.

Causes of anxiety and depression

In fact, the list is much wider than some girls might imagine. The list of sources includes the following items:

• hormonal disbalance;
• brain injuries sustained at an early age;
• problems in education;
• toxic family relationships;
• traumatic experience in the past;
• infectious diseases affecting the brain;
• hypoxia suffered during childbirth;
• melancholic personality type;
• regular stress (both at home and at work);
• bad habits (alcohol and drug use of any severity are considered especially dangerous);
• features of the environment;

Photo by Alex Green: Pexels

• somatic diseases.

If in your case the reason is the presence of constant stress or psycho-emotional trauma in the past, as well as a problematic relationship with your parents, it will be much easier to deal with the corrals. All other options require study together with a specialist and drug treatment.