How to stop being offended by people - 5 ways to learn not to be offended by trifles

Resentment is a negative feeling that, like poison, slowly spreads from the tips of the fingers throughout the body, gradually poisoning it, and at the same time the soul.
It spoils the mood and relationships between people. Makes you replay unpleasant situations in your head and experience bad feelings again. There are seven basic emotions that a person can experience:

• joy;
• astonishment;
• interest;
• disgust;
• fear;
• sadness;
• anger.

Resentment is a compound feeling. It can be backed up by anger at another person, self-pity, disappointment, annoyance, or something else.

Resentment and touchiness: what is the difference?

Resentment is a reaction, often demonstrative, in response to a statement, action or lack of action. The person is trying to show that he is dissatisfied with the course of what is happening, that he expected something different, and with all his appearance he demonstrates how strong his disappointment is. Intertwined with the offense is disappointment (one thing was expected, but something else happened), pain and sadness (“I didn’t expect this from you”), excitement and anxiety (what if it happens again), powerlessness (“you are stronger - that’s why you think you’re right”), irritation and anger (“I will take revenge on you”).

Resentment is like the flu: you can have a fever and recover in a couple of days, but perhaps the inflammation will take over the entire body and cause a chronic condition or destroy the carrier. This condition is called resentment. A very touchy person is ready to constantly take offense at all possible irritants, sometimes erecting piles of non-existent problems out of nowhere, showing with all his appearance how unfair the world is to him.

All a person’s feelings are a subjective thing, but the feeling of resentment is several times stronger than all others, since one’s “I” and personal dignity are placed above others.

A few useful things to help you

There are many good projects online that help you become better, smarter, learn to communicate, and overcome inhibitions. There are also some among them that are simply necessary for very touchy people.

In almost every article on psychology, I recommend to readers the Vikium project - it offers various courses, many free programs, tests, and simulators. Below I will briefly describe what may be useful to touchy people.

Before offering courses to your attention, I recommend these two simulators:

1. Emotional intelligence test - you will practice identifying types of emotions, you will be able to better understand the range of your feelings in different situations. When you are clearly aware of what you feel, you can move on to working specifically on these feelings.
2. The “Identification of Emotions” simulator is the same, but the format is slightly different. It is advisable to exercise on this simulator regularly. You will learn not only to understand yourself better, but also to easily recognize the feelings of other people.

Both simulators are free, go through as many times as you want.

Course "Emotional Intelligence"

Description : This course is about emotions in general, not just resentment. Teachers will teach you how to understand yourself correctly. You will learn where the roots of each emotion are, learn to compare your reactions to the world around you with the reactions of other people.

What I like about this course is that the teachers talk about the subconscious basis of every emotion. For example, what causes anger, is depression or panic attacks due to external reasons only. When you complete the training, you will learn how to properly reflect, analyze yourself, and not be led by emotions.

I think it will immediately become easier for you to communicate with your family, build relationships, and move up your career ladder. And most importantly, you will become happier and calmer.

Author : Oleg Kalinichev (director of Paul Ekman's company in Russia).

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up

Brain detoxification course

Description : Remember what was going on in your head the last time you were offended. Most likely, you have replayed the situation that caused offense several times, “listened” to the words spoken, and tried to respond somehow. These chaotic thoughts were running through your head and you couldn't stop them.

This is the case with most negative emotions. But most often - with resentment or fear. “Brain detoxification” will help you “cleanse” your head of emotional toxins, learn to concentrate on the positive, and smile. You will become stronger mentally, you will know how to “push away” stress from yourself.

The course is relatively small, including only 10 lessons. The material is only practical, no tedious theory. There are many exercises that you can use on your own in the future when someone tries to throw you off balance. Course format: reading text, video and audio materials.

Author : Victor Shiryaev (specialist in developmental psychology).

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up

Course "Effective Communication"

Description : I recommend it to anyone who suffers from resentment, misunderstanding, or inability to build communication. And also for those who still do not have relationships filled with happiness in their lives.

Classes last exactly one month, the curator maintains contact with each student, answers questions and comments. Additionally, webinars are held with practicing psychologists and personal development specialists.

The teacher promises to help everyone who suffers from the words and actions of others. You will know how to control your emotions, how to respond correctly to those who want to humiliate or offend you, how to build constructive communication with colleagues, bosses, friends, and children. If you want to learn how to influence people, lead them, and not just be followed, this is the place for you too.

In each block of lessons, you will first listen to a video lecture, then complete a practical task, discuss it in a webinar with the teacher and other students, and take a test. When you complete the course completely, you will receive a certificate that can be attached to your portfolio.

If within 7 days you decide not to continue your studies, the administration will return the money in full.

Author : Oleg Kalinichev.

Cost : 1,490 rub. for the self-study rate, RUB 2,490. for a tariff with the support of a curator. I recommend the second one, don’t skimp on yourself.

Find out more and sign up

Another very interesting thing is the neural interface from Vikium. This device allows you to analyze electrical fluctuations in the brain during different emotional states: anger, resentment, joy, melancholy. The neurointerface will transfer the material to your computer, from it you will transfer it to Vikium, the site will tell you exactly what you feel, how harmful or dangerous it is for the body as a whole, what to do to replace “bad” vibrations with “good” ones.

That's all for now. If you personally know good training programs, courses and simulators, please tell us about them in the comments, I will add to the article.

Why do people get offended?

Psychologists divide all reasons into four categories:

• Misunderstanding of jokes: most often a person who is touchy is someone who has no sense of humor; even a small teasing can offend him - this is his defensive reaction and an indicator that he shouldn’t do that. This is the easiest form, although it happens that a person becomes fixated and carries a grudge for years, developing a plan for revenge.
• Manipulation: wanting to get what is planned, but not seeing the desired result, a touchy person “pouts his lips,” moves away and remains silent - showing with all his appearance that he expects completely different actions.

• Frustrated hopes: people often succumb to fantasies or attribute non-existent character traits to others, expect unusual actions, and then are deeply disappointed by reality. With offense they try to show the magnitude of their disappointment, as if unobtrusively trying to change the person.
• Inability or unwillingness to forgive: too high self-esteem and hyperego make people blind to other people's emotions and motives of actions. Moreover, this category of people can combine all three previous categories, turning a person into a paranoid person.

How to properly apologize and ask for forgiveness from an offended person

There is not and cannot be any template or algorithm in this action. The main thing in an apology is not the verbosity, not the beauty of the words, but HOW they are pronounced. You can say without much comment: “Forgive me, buddy,” but say it sincerely, from the bottom of your heart.

One eastern sage told his disciples: people can insult by calling another a fool, a slave or mediocre. But we must always remember that only a fool will call another a fool; Only a slave will see a slave in another; a mediocrity will see someone else's madness in what he himself does not understand. Therefore, you should not be offended by anyone and insult anyone yourself.

How does resentment develop into resentment?

Due to an excessive sense of self and increased self-pity, a person often has internal strife: “Why me? Why is it possible for them, but not for me? I deserve better, more.” This plunges a person even more into an illusory reality, invented by him and, most likely, significantly different from reality. And the more often this happens, if the cause of grievances remains unresolved and settles inside, the more a person becomes touchy, fixated on his own experiences and blind to the feelings of others. Excessive touchiness becomes a natural state, destroying a person’s inner world.

What to do if someone is offended by someone

When communicating with each other, friends and colleagues can make bad jokes, make inappropriate remarks, or make jokes. And someone from the company will be offended and stop talking. This means he was more affected than others thought. Grievances are also common both on a family basis and on a professional basis, when the boss undeservedly reprimands for shortcomings, and even in front of everyone.

In any situation, it is first of all recommended to analyze whether there is someone’s fault in the “offensive” situation that has arisen, to figure out what exactly could have offended the person. If guilt is assumed, then the best and most painless way is to simply approach the “victim” and apologize.

Four types of offended people

Psychoanalysts divide touchy people into several types, by analyzing which you can understand why they hold a grudge against you and how to correct the situation.

- People with an eternal victim complex: they are constantly offended by everyone and everything, with or without reason: any careless word, sideways glance or gesture can drive them into deep depression, a week of silence or, conversely, constant whining. This type of overly touchy person in a state of passion can do anything, even attempt suicide, so you need to behave extremely carefully with them.

— Paranoid: people who are touchy due to excessive suspicion, jealousy and fear of being deceived. They hear only what they want, understand the situation only from their extremely subjective point of view and look for a catch in almost everything.

— People with an inferiority complex: their total lack of self-confidence gives rise to a feeling of insecurity; it seems to them that others constantly want to offend, laugh at shortcomings (sometimes visible only to themselves) and assert themselves at their expense. Often such people are quietly touchy; they do not make trouble, do not try to manipulate, but simply withdraw into themselves, accumulating a lump of resentment.

— The Avengers: their distorted view of the world, coupled with delusions of grandeur, forces them to constantly scroll through plans for revenge, retribution for insults in their heads and encourages them to further immoral actions. Moreover, the resentment gnawing at them is so great (even over a trifle) that for years they can nurture within themselves a plan for a vendetta worthy of Moriarty himself.

Why is it bad to be touchy?

We should stop being offended over trifles and even serious reasons, because offense brings nothing but destruction. Just think about the harm this negative emotion causes:

• Resentment forces us to constantly return to the past, to relive painful situations in our imagination over and over again. And when we cannot let go of the past, it begins to “strangle” our present. For example, a woman who cannot forgive her ex-partner for cheating avoids serious relationships with men because she is afraid of repeating her bad experience and the pain she experienced.
• The habit of being offended by little things scares away friends. They don’t want to involuntarily hurt you, so they have to behave very reservedly, carefully, avoid jokes and other pleasant moments inherent in friendly communication.
• This negative quality interferes with building harmonious family relationships. For example, a girl annoys her boyfriend with constant insults, which is why he becomes disappointed in her, although he initially intended to marry. Or the husband constantly finds fault with his wife over trifles and she, unable to withstand the mental stress, becomes depressed. You can reconsider your view of relationships with your significant other and find out how you can change them for the better in our course “How to create harmonious relationships.”
• The desire to be offended provokes self-pity. In this state, you cannot set high goals for yourself, you justify your own inaction, and you envy the happiness of other, more successful people.
• The tendency to be touchy takes up a lot of time. Instead of doing something useful, you replay the events of the past day, month, or situation ten years ago in your head over and over again.

From the point of view of spiritual development, the habit of being offended by people harms your soul. The Lord teaches us by his example how to act, forgiving us of any sins.

Male resentment

Men actually get offended extremely rarely - they rather become upset, angry or disappointed in some actions of their loved ones. The logical mindset simply does not allow them to keep the reason for a long time - after half an hour, the male consciousness will find something more interesting to do than dwell on an action that has already passed.

The only thing that can really hurt him and unsettle him for a long time is criticism of his “masculine” behavior: sexual incompetence, comparison with other men, public condemnation and devaluation of his gifts. Then the man can either withdraw into himself, or, maintaining external habitual behavior, keep the resentment within himself for quite a long time, and during a strong quarrel, express everything.

How to replace resentment?

It is unlikely to develop complete zen and not react at all to insults or just some “catchy” moments (although, of course, you can try). You don’t need to ignore how your mother yells at you or how your colleague constantly “teases” you in an offensive way. But resentment can be replaced with other reactions:

• Anger that pushes you to action. Being offended and leaving a toxic relationship is ok. Not being offended (or offended) and tolerating is not ok.
• Dialogue for the sake of clarity. Explain to the offender what you feel and why, and how to make you stop feeling hurt. Sometimes people offend us by not meeting our expectations because they are not aware of these expectations.

Both reaction options are correct: as a result, there will be fewer toxic people in your environment, but those who remain will understand you better.

Love yourself and be above insults over trifles

Women's resentment

Women hold the palm in terms of grievances: they are offended several times a day, while for some these are fleeting states that cannot even be called an insult - so, you were upset for five minutes and forgot. For some, this is a fixed idea throughout their lives: “You offended me - you didn’t see my tears,” because of which they begin to poison the lives of themselves and those around them. At the same time, an offended woman looks like a madman: she has absolutely no control over reason, emotions and can say mountains of unnecessary, rude and unnecessary things. It is excessive sensitivity that destroys such women.

How to stop being offended by people

We must try to overcome our resentment, although this is not easy. If you want to change your thinking and stop getting upset with people, try the tips below.

Be honest about your own feelings

To stop being offended by people, express your feelings to their faces, of course, in a delicate manner. After all, resentment is suppressed anger that you have locked away until “better times.” If you do not express your objections, embarrassment, disappointment, indignation, then they will eat away at you, like rust destroys metal.

At first, it will be difficult for you to adapt to a new way, to show sincerity and not be afraid of your own emotions. But Spiritual Economics teaches us to be honest, this is the only way you can find happiness, become a successful and peaceful person.

Stop imposing your opinion on others

You need to realize that your habit of lecturing others, imposing your opinion on them is dictated by your pride and arrogance. But by what criteria do you understand that you are better than the people around you? Can you count on your own objectivity in any situation? If you can stop telling people what to do, there will be less cause for conflict.

Build a constructive dialogue

This principle will be useful both in personal relationships and in business. Instead of accumulating grievances, try to find a compromise with the other person. For example, in order to stop being offended by her husband when he watches football on TV every evening, the wife can come to an agreement with him. Most likely, he will agree to use a tablet or phone for this several times a week so that his wife can turn on her favorite channels.

Look to the future

To stop being offended by people over trifles, consider every conflict situation from the perspective of your future. “Will this be important to me in a year, five years, or ten years?” This way you will understand that you are artificially creating problems out of the blue, and learn to forgive minor mistakes of the people around you.

On the other hand, it may happen that you answer this question in the affirmative: “Yes, he caused me such harm that it will be important to me even in 10 years.” It is very difficult to forgive when your apartment was taken away by fraud, your right to raise a child was sued, or you were set up in business.

In this case, you need to defend your rights and try to fight for justice, but at the same time try to free yourself from resentment. Why? Because it is a useless emotion that only prevents you from correcting the situation. If you don’t stop being offended, this feeling will destroy you from the inside and may ultimately provoke some kind of illness.

Put yourself in the shoes of your offender

Often resentment is born from a lack of understanding why a person treated you this way and not otherwise. Therefore, put yourself in the place of another, imagine what you would do in his situation, try to understand his motives.

You have probably more than once encountered undesirable circumstances in your life, because of which you had to unwittingly cause trouble to others, and then your conscience tormented you for this. Your abuser may be going through something similar.

Remove yourself from the situation

To avoid giving in to negative emotions and stop being offended, distance yourself from your conflict. You can imagine that your abuser and yourself are actors who have been given certain roles. What's the point of being angry at your co-worker when he was supposed to insult you according to the script? This method will also help you increase your self-confidence, as you will no longer take criticism or tactless remarks addressed to you seriously.

If you find it difficult to deal with resentment because you have low self-esteem, our course “How to remove self-doubt from your head” will help you. And in just 14 days, believe in yourself.”

Give yourself permission to make mistakes

To forgive others, you must first learn to forgive yourself. Therefore, give yourself the right to be imperfect, allow yourself to make mistakes. Only God can be perfect, but ordinary people have various imperfections. Therefore, accept yourself with all your shortcomings, forgive the mistakes you made in the past, and try not to make them again. When you develop a caring attitude towards yourself, then you can stop being offended by loved ones.

As soon as you cope with your touchiness, you will notice how your relationships with relatives, loved ones, friends, and colleagues have improved. Don’t be afraid to forget the bad and forgive, because you will not lose anything if you free your soul from a heavy burden.

Childish resentment

A child’s resentment is a great psychological trauma, which can lead to a lot of complexes, rejection of the realities of the world and a distorted perception of the people around him. The danger is that an unstable child’s psyche cannot cope with experiences, cannot respond correctly to a stimulus and imprints negative experiences on the subconscious, forming an illusory reality.

Most people who are too touchy brought this feeling with them from childhood, they have grown together with it and can no longer live without it. 80% of all fears, phobias, complexes and reactions are instilled in a person during preschool age, most of them come from parents and close relatives. Therefore, next time, before scolding your child for something, think ten times whether it is necessary.

What is resentment

From a psychological point of view, resentment is a person’s emotional reaction to the action of another person. Moreover, this reaction is negative and subjective. So, someone does not react to the same event at all, but someone feels like a “wave has rolled in.” It can be controlled: accepted with all the ensuing consequences or ignored.

Touchiness is an acquired character trait. It is completely absent in children. Although many will argue, telling how funny their baby “pouts”. But this is just an imitation of adults. At first. Subsequently, the child quickly learns to manipulate others, causing the offender to feel guilty and getting what he wants.

Resentment is revenge on oneself.

Often the roots of excessive touchiness lie in childhood. Parents do not explain to the child the essence of the phenomenon, the correct reaction, and possible consequences. They feel sorry for the offended child and indulge his whims. Children without experience in overcoming negativity grow up to be immature individuals. They do not take responsibility and are dependent on the opinions of other people. The slightest discomfort in life entails bitterness and anger.

Resentment is an abstract phenomenon. It doesn't exist on its own. It cannot be touched or measured. Its birth is spontaneous: manifested in changes in appearance (pallor, rounded eyes), physiological indicators (pulse, blood pressure). Next, the choice is up to the offended: to succumb to emotions, harboring hatred, or to overcome stress without consequences for the relationship.

In the first case, the resentment takes on the characteristics of the person in whom it has settled. She runs his life, makes decisions, and hatches plans for revenge. The victim is deprived of his will, mentally replaying the situation over and over again, experiencing aching pity for himself. The appearance changes: the calm face becomes gloomy, “eternally dissatisfied.” So the person himself becomes the embodiment of resentment.

What are the risks of communicating with such a person?

When there is a touchy person in a company, it’s like a boil: it’s very annoying, but no one dares to touch it so as not to cause pain. An imperceptible ring of alienation is formed, which offends the person even more - the circle is closed. In addition, a very touchy person reacts sharply to criticism. Therefore, openly judging him for his sensitivity is like adding fuel to the fire.

The constant need to select the “right” words, expressions and actions already indicates that you are being manipulated, which means that the person has understood the power of his influence and will use it every time as needed.

Resentment from the point of view of an ordinary person and a psychologist

Unfortunately, not every ordinary person seriously believes that resentment is a feeling of the weak. But that’s how it is. In one interview, a journalist compared resentment to a feeling of hunger that exists independently of the individual. But he attributed anger to bulimia, which is already a disease. Figuratively speaking, resentment turning into anger is hunger turning into bulimia.

You can also agree with this definition: resentment is a sign of mental immaturity. By the way, psychologists also agree with the latter, who most often interpret resentment as an emotion of unfulfilled expectations - isn’t this a sign of that same immaturity?

Why don't all people get offended?

The psychology of a touchy person is different: some are extremely rarely susceptible to such a painful reaction, while others, on the contrary, are hypersensitive. You can joke with some to the point of foul, while others react sharply even to a comment about their hairstyle. Why is this happening?

In fact, everything depends on the internal state of a person: how self-sufficient he is or dependent on public opinion, what is the magnitude of his sense of pride and self-worth. Everyone has their own weak points and pain points: for some they are on the surface and painful, while for others they are hidden under a thick layer of character and willpower.

What kind of offense can there be?

Resentment can be called that state of a person that is caused by a reaction to grief or insult, most often, in the opinion of the offended, inflicted unfairly. Therefore, this emotion is “in conjunction” with a concept called justice. If someone did not receive what they expected, but agrees that, by and large, they did not deserve it, then the person may be upset, but it is unlikely that they will be overwhelmed by resentment.

How to communicate with a touchy person?

For those around you, this is sometimes a whole problem. How to call a touchy person so as not to offend? How to communicate with him at all if there is no way to end the relationship (he is an employee, relative or husband-wife).

The first way is to try to ignore attempts at manipulation, provided that you really are right. You can ask an uninterested person for their opinion (of course, tactfully, so as not to further offend the offended person).

Second: try to take the situation into your own hands and transform it from emotional squabbles into a calm discussion of the problem.

Communication with overly emotional people teaches tolerance and loyalty; it is a good reason to look at yourself and others from a different perspective. You need to be lenient towards emotional outbursts - after all, if the reasons for such a reaction are known, then it becomes clear that the touchy person has internal problems through the roof. Have pity on him, only mentally.

The “all-in” method: feign resentment in response. Perhaps, having felt in the place of the “pseudo-offender”, a person will change his behavior and attitude. Try to put yourself in the place of the offended person and mentally scroll through the situation, trying to look at it through his eyes. Ask yourself what percentage of your fault is that the person is offended. Be objective: maybe you unconsciously, without thinking, hurt a person.

Offended adults

An adult anal person, who remained unloved and undersupported in childhood, carries resentment within himself. An offense against an adult with an anal vector can be a personal offense against a particular person. And it can be a serious offense against the parents, especially the mother.

If a person does not have sufficient fulfillment in life, he experiences stress. He feels that he has not been given enough in life. It doesn’t matter what or by whom anymore. Stress accumulates. All sorts of little things start to stick. The slippers are out of place, there are crumbs on the table, she looked at me wrong, she said it in the wrong tone. It's a shame...

The condition requires alignment and balance. A frequent accompaniment of resentment is revenge.

Resentments are dangerous because the desire to equalize the balance, to repay the insult, finds another addressee surrounded by the offended person. As a rule, these are the closest people, family members. If the bearer of the offense is the husband, then the addressee will be the wife. If she is a woman, she can take it out on the children.

How to help get rid of resentment?

Explain to the person why you acted and said this and not otherwise. Explain in detail the reason in the smallest detail, make it clear with all your appearance that there was no desire to offend. If the situation really requires it, you need to apologize. Just remember: to apologize means to regret what you did and promise to do it again. Human reactions come from actions, not just words.

Try to explain that offense is a destructive feeling that shows how much the offended person does not respect himself as a person. Show that you respect him, but you will never have a close relationship if it develops so one-sidedly.

How to raise a person who will not remember grudges

A small child with an anal vector is the most obedient of all. Slow and thorough. He always talks about something in detail, and does not miss a single smallest detail.

But his beloved mother has no time. She begins to rush her child. He sits on the potty for a long time, dresses slowly, and slowly goes to kindergarten. His mother interrupts him without allowing him to finish. Therefore, the baby withdraws into himself. They upset his balance, deprived him of his foundation - confidence and protection. The child is suffering. He's offended.

This is where mom needs to urgently change her relationship with him. Try to communicate more with your child, tell him more often that he is loved. Stop rushing him. The baby should feel the love and care of his family. A sensitive mother will praise the baby for his work and support him in activities and games. This will develop self-confidence in the child. The offense will be forgotten.

With correctly directed maternal care, a small child with an anal vector develops the skill of adapting to “offensive” situations. His reactions become more constructive.

What will the accumulated grievances lead to?

Does everyone know that resentment is a manifestation of one of the seven sins of Christianity: pride? A wounded sense of superiority spurs a person to act rashly: this is how relationships are broken, marriages and family ties are destroyed. Everything happens because everyone puts himself above the other, and this is a manifestation of pride.

Focused on his internal experiences, a person loses the ability to think sensibly, his productivity decreases, which, in turn, can lead to job loss. In an attempt to numb the pain of resentment, some people turn to drinking or taking drugs.

Why does a touchy person often get sick? His nervous system is constantly overloaded with stress, depression and neuroses. Under the influence of feelings, he disrupts his usual diet, which has a detrimental effect on the digestive system: gastritis, stomach ulcers are side effects of stress.

From constant worries, migraines develop, spasms of the muscles of the neck and shoulder girdle (which can lead to problems with the spine). Spasmed muscles, in turn, block the free functioning of the lungs, hyperventilation is disrupted, and this is the first step to colds and various types of inflammatory processes.

In the process of communicating with an offended person, try to convey this information; perhaps common sense will prevail and the offense will go away.

Psychology of resentment

A state of resentment occurs when one person, when communicating, says or commits actions that go beyond what is permissible in the opinion of the other. Characterized by the following conditions:

• hostility;
• irritation;
• mental pain;
• annoyance;
• feeling of betrayal;
• the desire to inflict the same trauma on the interlocutor;
• exclusively subjective assessment of the situation due to blocking of consciousness;
• anger.

In psychology, the basis of resentment is the state after unfulfilled expectations from the interlocutor:

• real - I expected you to keep your promise;
• imaginary - I thought you would act this way and not differently.

The reaction occurs regardless of the nature of the expectations. Then it follows one of the paths: it breaks out or hides inside the personality. The first path in most cases leads to conflicts, the second - to an internal state of emptiness and prolonged coldness towards the offender.

While one of the parties to the conflict is offended, the other feels guilty. If this does not happen, the state of resentment becomes useless. It is impossible to experience a feeling of resentment towards an object that cannot react: animals, unfamiliar, inanimate objects. Those who will definitely avoid remorse and refuse to correct the situation will not cause feelings of resentment. Their words will most likely leave a reaction of anger, annoyance, and insult.

How to deal with grievances?

The reaction to an unpleasant situation depends on the personality type:

• Persons with increased expressiveness, choleric people, active extroverts splash out their emotions on their opponent. The misunderstanding that arises affects relationships, can quarrel, make enemies;
• People of a melancholic nature prefer to keep a negative reaction inside, putting pressure on their opponent’s conscience with hidden levers. The feeling of injustice of the interlocutor causes depression. The conflict may not have a strong negative connotation, but such people can be offended for years, hiding their view of what happened and not trying to correct the situation.

Knowing your personality type, you can predict your own reaction and prepare psychologically. Attempts to foresee how the interlocutor will react to certain words will also help to change the vector of the dialogue in time and avoid conflict.

If an unpleasant situation does occur, you should not keep it inside or vent it on others, seeking justice. This destructive feeling is a subjective assessment, amenable to control and transformation.

Psychology tells us how to deal with resentment: first get rid of the state of resentment, switch, change the point of concentration of attention. Then - learn a lesson from the current situation. Analyze what led to the annoying reaction: unfulfilled expectations, incorrect assessment of the situation, or misunderstanding of the interlocutor.