No matter how honest people we try to be, it is impossible to completely abandon lies. Sometimes during communication we simply need to smooth out the corners so as not to tell the hurtful truth to our face.
This is why we regularly make time without even realizing it. For example, we say to a person: “You look great today!”, although, in fact, we have a different opinion about his appearance.
Be that as it may, lying can be divided into two large categories - harmless (as in the case of the above example) and more serious, for example, when you have to lie that you did not perform certain actions. This is where real mastery begins, which is achieved through years of hard training and psychological practices.
- FAQs How can you tell if a person is lying? Effective methods of exposing deceivers
It is noteworthy that many of us believe that we cannot be deceived, but psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, Leanne Brink, believes differently. It turns out that if a person knows how to lie, it is almost impossible to recognize his lie.
To establish this, a series of experiments were conducted where volunteers were asked to watch videos of people lying and telling the truth. Participants were then asked to recognize where they had been deceived. As a result, less than half of the respondents completed the task.
Despite the fact that we all understand perfectly well that lying is bad, everyone wants to master the skill of deception to perfection. Therefore, we decided to tell you how to learn to lie convincingly and well, so that no one would suspect something was wrong.
But what about an honest person?
An honest person needs to understand that everyone lies.
Moreover, lying does not necessarily have bad purposes. If you are constantly afraid of lying and that you will be exposed, then this will happen. Moreover, with such thoughts you will not be able to lie convincingly. At the end of the article, it can be noted that modern life forces us to lie. Therefore, do not learn to lie on purpose, it will not benefit you. In order to lie calmly, so that no one suspects you, constant practice is required. Practice your skills, carefully monitor your speech and movements during this “bad deed,” analyze the words you say.
Good luck to you in this life!!!
Pondyakova Elena · 05 Jul, 2018
Don't eat with your eyes
Liars don't always look away. On the contrary, they usually stare at their interlocutor as if at a miracle of God. Because, firstly, we’ve read a lot of magazines where they say that when lying you need to look into the eyes, and secondly, it’s very interesting - how will a person react to a lie?
We hide our eyes when we feel anxious or embarrassed, but not necessarily when we are in trouble. The best tactic is the time-tested “corner-to-nose-to-object” scheme. You can also look anywhere in the first half of the phrase and turn your gaze to the interlocutor only at the end of the statement - this is approximately what we usually do.
Use the truth
The hardest thing to identify is a lie that cannot be distinguished from the truth. By and large, you are telling the truth, but your opponent is sure of the opposite. This is a method of partially concealing any information.
In some cases, the direct attack method works. Ostensibly joking, you talk about what they are trying to convict you of. So, for example, when asked by your girlfriend where you were for so long after work, answer her that you were just in the bathhouse with her best friends. It has been found that the most convincing liars are those who can anticipate any questions.
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WikiReference: A white lie (delicate lie, a lie of “good taste”) is a lie that, in the opinion of the speaker, will provide significant relief to the listener, and if its falsity is revealed, will bring only slight inconvenience. White lies are usually told so as not to offend or upset anyone; for example, a not very attractive girl is told that she is “very good.”
Train your memory
Photo: weblyest.com
As you enter the slippery slope of being a liar, remember that you will have to keep all the details of your essays in mind. A good liar is like a chess player: in cases of multi-move combinations, he keeps all the threads under control, like a spider in a web. Only a complete idiot would take notes, it’s better to admit everything right away, the result is still the same. Laziness of mind is punished by exposure. A friend of mine had a strong passion for order; she kept all her vacation photos, both with her husband and with her lover, in the “Vacation” folder on her work computer. Convenient and no need to search. Needless to say, her husband once stopped by her office asking her to send a couple of emails?
Lying is akin to high art. It combines acting and math skills, trains mental flexibility, memory and in the long run promotes longevity of the brain. If it were not for the moral and ethical nuances, I would recommend lying in a high school course. Alas, at the moment we are left with crosswords, puzzles and macramé courses.
Ability to lie
The ability to lie is, first of all, a complex thought process.
Hiding deception, the ability to convince people around you requires the expenditure of mental abilities. Do not be mistaken that if you are an honest and decent person, you will never lie to others. Statistics say otherwise. Anyone, even the most scrupulously honest person, lies at least 5 times a day.
- See also: My boyfriend is lying to me: what should I do?
It is impossible to exist in a normal society without lies.
Have you never hidden unpleasant facts from your past life from others, never told your colleagues how wonderful they are, or hid your problems with your boyfriend, husband, or colleagues from your parents? All of the above can be attributed to lies that exist in the everyday life of every person.
Believe in everything yourself
The universal and invincible way to lie is to believe yourself that it was so. This is a major league Oscar nomination for Lies. However, only true artists are capable of this. The inspired chatter of these citizens will find a way to any heart: their eyes glow with a restrained brilliance, their voice lulls, their gestures inspire confidence, and now Konstantin Sergeevich wipes away an old tear, saying: “Darling, I believe you.” This requires time and preparation. Rehearse your part in front of the mirror, looking deep into your soul, memorize it from beginning to end and back again, until your legend begins to appear in your dreams.
Use distraction and switching
A true master of deception, like the Spanish matador, draws his sword only at the decisive moment and delivers only one blow. The rest of the time, he skillfully distracts the victim's attention with the help of skillful movements of his red cloak. The art of lying uses similar techniques, and sometimes skillfully switching the interlocutor’s attention to another object or changing the topic of conversation eliminates the need to lie altogether. Think over your line of behavior in advance in such a way that you don’t have to tell a lie at all. Just be careful not to overdo it, because incompetent use of a muleta can cost the matador his life!
Think over the details
It is the details that make a lie convincing and indistinguishable from the most honest truth. Because usually in speech we pay a lot of attention to them. But lies, as a rule, are poor in detail - an inexperienced liar thinks through the plot, but completely forgets to write down the characters and the setting. At best, he thinks through only those details that he is going to mention - he will tell you in vivid colors how he watched the World Cup with the boys, but he will become dull when you ask him what brand of beer they drank.
To avoid confusion, integrate real things into lies. If you are describing a non-existent person, take someone you know as a model, for example.
Good liars are quick thinkers
The art of deception requires the ability to think quickly. By telling a lie, a person often faces unexpected questions, and his answer determines whether he will be believed or not. The speaker may be given away by an inappropriate pause or an unconscious touch to the face.
The fourth tip: the ability to think quickly can be trained. Stand in front of a large, full-length mirror and tell a lie, then ask yourself an unexpected question and see how you answer. Notice verbal and nonverbal cues and other possible clues. To imagine how the person to whom you are going to lie will feel, say: “My little mirror, tell me, who does not know the word of a lie, who in the world is more honest, sincere and faithful?”
“As you can see,” Shafer concludes, “becoming a good liar is possible if you practice simple techniques and avoid displaying typical signs of deception. Your life can be more comfortable without those embarrassing moments when you are caught lying." “Of course, sometimes your conscience will wake up and you will spend many sleepless nights - but is this a big price to pay for becoming a real consummate liar?” - he asks sarcastically.
Adviсe
Psychologists have discovered that even honest people like to lie when talking with strangers, and when communicating with relatives or friends, people do this systematically. There are many reasons for lies. It comes to the rescue, so as not to upset a loved one, to get the desired position, to avoid punishment, to make an impression, etc. Therefore, learning to lie and not blush is a very useful skill in life.
When all the pros and cons are weighed and an irrevocable decision is made to learn how to lie convincingly, then there is no need to doubt it anymore. Lying itself is not difficult to detect precisely because of the internal vibrations that exhaust the person who lies. Is it moral or immoral? Right or wrong? Honest or dishonest? It no longer matters if you decide to lie, then you should stick to it.
It is also important to weigh the possibility of failure and before lying, you should think about what will happen if the truth is revealed, and how likely this is.
If a lie was presented on this topic before, and it was possible to convince the interlocutor of this, then there is a possibility that it will turn out to be the same lie again.
Before you lie, you need to analyze whether the people you are planning to lie to have been caught in a lie. Are there witnesses to the “truth” who could possibly cast doubt on the story? And finally, you should think and analyze all the risks that might happen if the truth is revealed.
How to learn to lie beautifully and believably? You should try to tell the lie in detail, including all the little details, so the story will seem true. You can first tell your story out loud.
Psychologists have found that the easiest way to spot a person's lies is when they tell a story for the first time. Therefore, it is important to sensibly work out all the details of the lie in advance, so that there is no need to come up with everything on the spot, and then the likelihood of success will increase significantly.
You can learn to lie believably if you do it briefly. The invented story should not be long. Liars can often be identified by the fact that they tell endless stories with a huge amount of detail, since they have thought it all through in advance. Of course, it is necessary to think through the deception down to the smallest details, but you should not give it away until asked. The initial lie should be as short as possible. If a person has to lie to someone, then he needs to start with this right away. You should not start the conversation with other topics, believing that this will provide an opportunity to gather strength. It won't help. First, you need to lie convincingly and beautifully while the interlocutor is looking closely, is not used to gestures and does not know how to correctly read the subtext in the words spoken, and then you can tell the truth.
Attack when you are caught in a lie
So, for years you have been deceiving a person. And suddenly he has in his hands irrefutable evidence of your lies. What to do in such situations? There's nothing much left to lose. All you need is to gain a little time in order to think through new tactics of behavior.
Go on the offensive. Let's say your girlfriend found correspondence on social networks with representatives of the opposite sex. Of course, she will demand an explanation.
Do not under any circumstances confess your sins. On the contrary, accuse her of not having the right to read your correspondence and that she doesn’t care about you at all. Try to turn the conversation in a different direction in order to deprive the interlocutor of peace of mind and confidence in his rightness.
Control your voice
Take a cue from Frank Sinatra when he sings “Strangers in the night.” I am ready to believe his every word: I swear, everything happened like that. Why? And he puts it well! However, it is easier to deceive a man than a woman. For genetic reasons, women are much more sensitive to the nuances of speech and isolate inconsistencies from what they hear. It is this ability that allows them to hear the cry of their baby amid the roar of an electric meat grinder. The highest category of complexity is wives and mothers. During the time you spent together, your speech was recorded in their memory in the form of a certain set of vibrations (don’t delude yourself that women are interested in what you weave every day). Deviations in timbre and tempo are immediately registered and raise suspicion. It’s better to lie to men, so the risk of getting caught is much less. But in all cases, follow simple rules: relax your abdominal muscles, free your breath, breathe evenly. Laugh in the right places, there is nothing more useful for distracting attention than laughter.
Never make excuses or confess
If you are suspected of lying, then the worst thing you can do is to start inventing more and more lies to justify yourself. If the building is shaking, then it is necessary to escape from it, and not urgently complete new floors. Therefore, respond to all accusations with proud, offended silence or switching to another topic.
As for “voluntary surrender,” this is tantamount to a direct shot in the temple. There are often situations when the truth is equally harmful for both sides and the party accusing you, just like you, despite all the harassment, would not want to hear it. Never give up, even when your back is against the wall. Stand your ground against logic, evidence and common sense.
Attack!
Photo: claytonology.weebly.com
Politicians are genetically predisposed creatures that inhabit our planet. In addition to natural hypnotic abilities, they usually also master methods of diverting attention. If you fall for a lie, use their know-how. There is no better defense than attack - remind your opponent of an episode from the past when he behaved reprehensibly. It doesn’t matter whether it has anything to do with your lying, it’s important for you to shift the blame from your head to a healthy one. Demagogy and self-confidence are the best helpers here: “How could you lie to me?” - “How could you not love my grandmother? She moved from Shchuchin just to be closer to you!” - and the conversation immediately takes a direction that is favorable to you. The best politicians immediately came up with offensive nicknames for their opponents based on physical and personal characteristics, but I do not recommend this method to you. Especially if you have to lie to your mother or wife.
Speech
Yuna Makeeva offers to rehearse the speech. It is important to try to speak clearly, without long pauses, maintaining the usual pace. Watch your breath
“When telling information that is a lie in advance, a person constantly experiences anxiety. When announcing a lie, a person suddenly begins to involuntarily change his intonation. A sharp acceleration in the voice appears, or, conversely, a smooth slowdown and stretching of the conversation. If a person is very worried about the information he is conveying, the interlocutor’s voice will tremble. At the same time, changes in combination with other signs affect the timbre and volume of the voice, hoarseness appears, or the person pronounces words at high notes,” Shamil Sharinsky exposes the liar.
There is another way that Ilya Anishchenko advises: use magic words when answering: “I want to say,” “I must say,” “It is necessary to say.” Thus, you shift the emphasis for your brain and rid yourself of outright lies. Here Ilya gives an example:
“What is the difference between saying, “I didn’t kill Kennedy” and saying, “I mean, I didn’t kill Kennedy”? In the first case, I directly deny some action, in the second, I talk about my desire to say it. At the same time, I could have killed him, but I really want to say that I didn’t do it, and that will be true.”
Don't lie to your loved ones and those who love you
You can think through your line of behavior many moves ahead. You can practice brilliant acting skills in front of the mirror and develop the most believable intonations. You will provide yourself with an alibi, witnesses, a second line of defense and an escape route.
But they still know the truth. This cannot be scientifically explained; we don’t believe in all this “feels in the heart” and “dreams in a dream.” Let's put it another way: a special non-verbal psychophysiological contact is established between some people, thanks to which they unconsciously feel the slightest changes in each other's state. So it's better not to even try. It still won't work.
What secrets of successful deception can our readers share? Only honestly!
