I hate lies in people. It can be different for everyone, very skillful or idle and unexpected - like a knife.
I hate lies in people. The one that is considered harmless, the one for which I am ashamed. Although it’s not me, but you who are lying to me. I hate lies in people. And my soul suffers greatly when they give it with a smile , so that at first you can’t tell. I hate lies in people. There is half a step from lies to betrayal. Once upon a time, everything was decided by the sword. But now the old style is worthless. I hate lies in people. And I don't accept explanations. After all, a person is like spring rain, And how pure he is, April rain...
Andrey Dementyev
And I hate lies in all its forms. You can’t treat her positively; if they lie to you, then it’s doubly unpleasant, isn’t it? Being deceived is not the best feeling. Lying is definitely bad, everyone knows it. Although, it is impossible to always tell only the truth, not to live, to be such an ideal lover of truth. The realization that everyone is lying and you are an angel is a manifestation of pride, I think so.
So what to do: to lie or not to lie... And can there be a middle ground in this matter?
Truth for health
The habit of telling the truth when you are tempted to lie can significantly improve both mental and physical health.
This is the conclusion reached by the authors of the study “The Science of Honesty,” which was presented at the 120th American Psychological Association.
Anita Kelly and study co-author Liyuan Wang, Ph.D., of Notre Dame, conducted the experiment over 10 weeks with 110 participants—34% adults and 66% college students. The age of the participants ranged from 18 to 71 years.
Participants in the experiment were divided into two groups, one of which was instructed not to lie as much as possible for 10 weeks, and the second served as a control group. Both groups came into the lab every week to have their health checked by researchers and also tested on lie detector tests on the number of lies they told during the week.
The study revealed that there is a connection between lying and mental and physical health . For example, when study participants from the “honest” group lied three times less, they were less susceptible to melancholy and depressive moods. In addition, people in this group suffered less from headaches and sore throats.
The participants had noticeably improved relationships with loved ones, which reduced the amount of stress and had a positive effect on their health. After the experiment, the participants realized that they can do without deception and exaggeration, they can not lie to justify their lateness or the fact that they cannot do something.
So, telling the truth means maintaining your mental and physical health and getting rid of unnecessary stress . The participants in the experiment realized that they didn’t have to lie, but why did they lie before? There are several reasons why people often tell lies, poisoning the lives of both themselves and their loved ones.
When not to be a hypocrite
It has happened more than once in my life that I spent months, or even years, on projects that simply had no future.
Not least of all, I wasted a lot of effort because I didn't hear honest feedback about my work. It also happened: thanks to timely, frank criticism, I quickly changed course and avoided stressful and unnecessary work in time. The difference between these two situations is huge. Yes, sometimes it can be unpleasant to hear that we wasted our time or that the quality of our work is not at all what we thought it was. But justified criticism helps us find our place in the world. I have a friend who is a very successful writer. At the beginning of his creative career, he wrote a script that I considered terrible, which I did not fail to tell him about. It was not easy for me to decide on this criticism, because my friend had been working on the script for almost a year. But that was the truth (as I saw it). Now when I praise his work, he knows that I really like it.
Case in point: “Does this dress make me look fat?” According to most people, the correct answer to this question is: “No.” It clearly demonstrates why white lies are so attractive. Indeed, why not cheer up a woman with the help of an innocent lie and thereby give her self-confidence? But if a person does not get into the habit of telling the truth in such situations, then it will soon turn out that there are too many exceptions to his rule of honesty. And he will suddenly discover that he is easily and naturally acting like most people: hiding the truth or even outright lying, without thinking much about it. So the price of white lies is too high. What is the truth? Maybe the woman really looks fat in this dress, but it’s not her figure that’s to blame, but the cut that makes her look fat. By telling the truth, you will convince her to choose a more suitable style that hides flaws and emphasizes advantages.
But let's imagine a situation in which telling the truth is much more difficult: a woman looks fat in this, or any other dress, because she is fat. She's, say, a 35-year-old single woman who desperately wants to get married and have a family. And you think that most men are not eager to date her because of her weight. Marriage aside, you know for sure that she will be happier, healthier and more confident if she gets in shape. When we choose to lie for the benefit of others, we take on the responsibility of deciding for them what they should know about their own lives—appearance, reputation, or prospects.
Reasons to become a liar
It is common for people to tell only part of the truth that they consider appropriate, or the information that they think the other person wants to hear. The rest of the truth is hidden. People can lie “to save themselves” or regularly come up with white lies that won’t harm anyone, but it still has a detrimental effect on both their sense of self and their relationships.
Even a white lie leaves a bitter aftertaste, because if you tell a lie, you will never feel like a truly strong person.
By telling lies, you will never feel like a truly strong person, a person who is not afraid to say what is, and not what they want to hear.
Here are some reasons why people often tell lies and the consequences this leads to:
Why are people instilled with the ability to tell the truth from childhood?
Remember how adults taught us to be honest: educators, teachers, parents from childhood, caring about our moral values, but rather, more about ourselves. So they did not want, first of all, to be deceived...
BUT very soon, before we really had time to grow up, we realized that THIS was precisely the biggest lie of adults.
The biggest lie of adults is that they teach children not to lie, but they themselves immediately lie.
I remember an incident from childhood: I’m 6 years old, we get on the bus and my mother, when asked by the conductor how old I am, answered: she’s five! I, who recently celebrated my 6th birthday, did not understand her incorrect answer. I really wanted to correct my mother. I started tugging at her skirt, letting her know that she had made a mistake. My kindest mother in the world, sharply pulled my hand and shushed me, which made me feel even worse.
And only after getting off the bus, my mother explained everything, saying that I had just turned 6, and I would still pass for a 5-year-old and I could still do it without a ticket. And I really wanted a ticket
