What is anger and how to experience the emotion profitably - is it normal to be angry?

Human anger is a negative emotional outburst that is a harbinger of aggression. It can literally burst a person from the inside. Strong anger is often characterized by negative emotions with a flow of destructive energy, marked by a shutdown of the ability to analyze actions. The sudden manifestation of such behavior in an individual causes bewilderment among the people around him, as well as anxiety in the person himself.

Anger is an emotion, often of an aggressive nature, directed towards something or someone with the goal of destruction, suppression, subjugation (usually inanimate objects). Often the reaction of this negative emotion is short-lived. During an emotional outburst, a person’s facial muscles tense; the body becomes like a stretched string; teeth and fists are clenched, the face begins to burn; there is a feeling as if something is “boiling” inside, while there is no control over the mind.

What is anger

The definition of anger in psychology is closely associated with aggression. Anger is considered its previous stage, after which a person can fall into real rage.

Anger is a reaction in which dissatisfaction or indignation arises about an event or phenomenon. Often a person's instinctive desire is to destroy an inanimate object that causes him anger. Usually the emotion is short-lived.

Diagnostics

To determine the cause of uncontrollable outbursts of anger, you should consult a doctor. You should first visit a therapist. He learns about the symptoms accompanying such a condition. He will then refer the patient to a specialist. Consultation with an endocrinologist, neurologist, psychiatrist or psychologist may be required.

The doctor will determine how long ago certain symptoms began and how often they occur. Also, the medical specialist should ask what kind of life the person leads, what kind of rest and work schedule he has, and whether there are any bad habits. An important factor is the psycho-emotional situation in the patient’s life. It is also important to establish whether the patient has chronic psychiatric illnesses.

An MRI of the brain may be needed to determine the cause of the outbursts. The doctor will prescribe a general blood test, urine test, and biochemical blood test. You may need to do an ultrasound of the thyroid gland and donate blood to check hormone levels. After carrying out the necessary diagnostics, it is possible to establish why such attacks occur and develop an effective strategy to combat them.

Only by identifying the true cause and curing the underlying disease can attacks of aggression be suppressed.

Reasons for anger

The emotion of anger is familiar to absolutely everyone. People can also become irritated for various reasons.

What is anger

If you turn to Dahl's explanatory dictionary for a decoding, anger is a short temper, a predisposition to anger.

Anger refers to a personality trait that manifests itself in a rapid transition to the emotion of anger as a reaction to an external stimulus. Simply put, anger is the tendency to be overly aggressive in response to any irritant.

Anger management

If you remember the comedy “Anger Management” - the main character was accused of excessive aggressiveness due to the fact that he could not control his emotions.

From a psychological point of view, the following signs are characteristic of anger:

• internal desires run counter to objective reality;
• unconditional confidence in one’s own rightness;

• unwillingness to compromise;
• lack of control over one's own emotions.

What is the purpose of the emotion?

The feeling of anger is a very valuable emotion that:

1. Helps you define and defend your personal boundaries. If the boundaries of personality are blurred, then everyone will do literally what they want with a person and his property. The feeling of anger helps both the person himself and the people around him, it shows that certain lines cannot be crossed.
2. Mobilizes the body's resources to protect against dangers. If there were no anger, a person would calmly watch as an angry street dog grabbed his leg.
3. Relaxes the body. Anger is a way to throw out accumulated negative emotions.
4. Helps make the world a little better. If a person notices injustice (for example, they offend the weak), he experiences anger and comes to the rescue.
5. Lets a person know that he is strong and can stand up for himself. It is believed that people who can become angry in a situation of threat towards them have better control over their destiny and realize their own needs.
6. Forms a more positive outlook on what is happening. Long thoughts about one’s own insignificance and remaining in a depressed state only destroy a person. This concentration is built on failure. It is much more useful to throw out your anger and get down to business with renewed vigor.
7. Makes work more efficient and productive. Anger works well in a situation when a person thinks something like this: “Well, I’ll still prove to this boss that I’m a good worker! Today I will do everything perfectly, and he will no longer dare to scold me in front of other employees!” It is not healthy to constantly follow such a motto. But using it as an impulse for action is fine.
8. Improves a person's psychological state. Many people spend energy and resources on taming emotions. It will be much more productive to throw out anger in a safe way, without redirecting aggression towards yourself or others.

Have you ever been able to benefit or benefit from anger? Be sure to share your experience in the comments.

A detailed video about anger from psychotherapist Elena Boyarskaya, a description of physiological processes in the body, the production of hormones. The video has practice and many examples.

From theory to practice

If you want to start actively working right now to develop self-control, reduce the level of stress in life, clear your mind and reboot your consciousness, I advise you to take the “Brain Detoxification” course from Vikium, which will help you:

1. Focus on what's important.
2. Reduce stress and anxiety levels.
3. Improve the quality of sleep and rest.
4. Reduce distraction.
5. Get rid of toxic thoughts.

The training consists of 10 lessons and practical tasks. You will receive tools and exercises, as well as video and audio materials. At the end of the course, they will give valuable recommendations for independent practice.

What does the emotion of anger look like - physical effects

It has been scientifically established that when a person experiences anger, his body begins to produce more of the hormone adrenaline. The sympathetic nervous system is in increased tone.

Blood sugar also begins to be produced faster, which causes the liver to work harder.

Individually, people may experience temporary changes in the functioning of some internal organs. This usually depends on the general condition of the body.

Visually, a person in anger looks like:

• tense facial muscles;
• the body involuntarily stretches;
• teeth and fists clenched;
• blood suddenly rushes to the face;
• cheeks begin to “burn” and tingle;
• the mind is difficult to control (often there is no control at all).

Why you need to understand the nature of your emotions

Photo by Igor Starkov on Unsplash
When a person feels bad about himself, and he experiences constant irritability and broadcasts anger to others, his life turns into a vicious circle with shades of gray and black.

And in order to break out of this circle and add a bright palette to life, you need to learn to understand the nature of your emotions, feelings, and personality traits.

Moreover, it happens that irritability and anger are conveyed by people close to our hearts. And it is in our power, through effective recommendations, to get them out of the vicious circle.

Stages and types of anger

The feeling of anger is a rather general concept. There are different types and manifestations of it.

The feeling of anger does not begin suddenly; a person has to go through several stages to fully achieve it.

Hidden anger

Hidden anger occurs in a person when he realizes that he cannot influence the situation himself. The feeling also arises in the opposite case. For example, when a person understands that he can protect himself and defend his own interests.

People who are naturally apathetic rarely experience feelings of anger, because their energy is at a fairly low level.

Stage of emotional arousal

The person realizes the seriousness of the problem. There is a need to throw out accumulated feelings and announce them to the world.

There is a high risk of lashing out at innocent people or your relatives nearby.

Wave of uncontrollable anger

In a fit of anger, a person may cry, scream, become hysterical, stomp his feet or actively gesticulate. Some, on the contrary, prefer to remain silent and withdraw into themselves. Their main task is to hide their own anger, try to cope with it, and remain in the eyes of others as a “good and cultured person.” This takes away a lot of mental and moral strength and resources from them, so the stage of living the emotion can stretch out and become painful.

There are a number of people who, in anger, begin to blame others for all their problems. In their opinion, those around them are completely devoid of a sense of compassion, do not understand anything and do not want to help. Such thoughts only add wood to the fire of negative emotions.

Decay stage of rage

After the manifestation of anger and all negative attacks, the person calms down. Inevitably, he comes to the understanding that difficulties happen and they can be solved. A plan begins to mature in my head on how to return life to its previous course.

Attention! If you do not allow yourself to experience negative emotions, you may experience prolonged depression.

How to develop self-control?

Many people think that the ability to remain calm is a gift that is not given by nature to everyone. In reality, it is quite possible to develop it independently and even achieve very significant success in this. Let's look at several effective techniques that can help with this.

Find your problem areas

First, analyze your life and remember situations in which you failed to remain calm when necessary. This will allow you to identify the most problematic areas - this is where you should start working on yourself.

Perhaps you cannot resist the temptation to buy a delicious cake or a bottle of beer, or you are unable to refuse an online game that takes an inordinate amount of time. Remember also the last conflict with a loved one - did you manage to restrain your emotions well and not say too much?

Work on your emotions

Separately, you need to think about the emotions and experiences that you find it difficult to control. Perhaps some situation at work that you observe every day causes you resentment and resentment. Think about it carefully and try to understand why it has such a strong impact on you.

To better understand how to develop self-control, write down in a notebook all the emotions that you find difficult to control, and think about each of them in the same way. Think about how to get rid of uncontrollable experiences. Having sorted them all out, it will be much easier to deal with them.

Remind yourself that you are the only one in control of your life.

This is a very important point. Most people tend to shift the blame for their mistakes to external circumstances. When something bad happens, they get upset and begin to feel sorry for themselves, believing that life is unfair to them.

If a person knows that all the circumstances of his life are the result of his own decisions and actions, it is much easier for him to control himself in difficult situations. Even if trouble has occurred, he knows that right now everything depends only on him and his actions. And this helps him maintain his composure.

To strengthen your sense of responsibility for your life, you can mentally repeat specially selected affirmations. To do this, you can use the following phrases:

• “I am the master of my life”;
• “My whole life depends only on me”;
• “I am in complete control of myself and my emotions”;
• “My ability to self-control is growing every day”;
• “Feeling in control of my life gives me pleasure.”

Using these simple guidelines, you can significantly speed up your progress in developing self-control.

Play out successful scenarios in your head

Sometimes it is useful to imagine a typical situation in which you previously showed weakness and could not remain calm. Imagine different variations of those events and think about how it would be correct to react in each case. Think carefully about your impulsive reaction and explain to yourself why it was not constructive. This is a fairly effective exercise, as it will help you quickly find your bearings and maintain composure the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

The difference between anger and anger and rage

Often people consider such concepts as anger, anger and rage to be synonyms and do not see differences in them, although they exist. Essentially these are stages, or different shades.

Anger can be expressed verbally and non-verbally.

An example of verbal anger: a person swears loudly, calls names, blames others, gets into squabbles.

An example of nonverbal anger is when a person shows detachment, pride, contempt, or arrogance toward someone who they feel has done them wrong.

• Anger differs from anger in that it can be directed both at oneself and at others. A person is often angry because he was influenced by someone from his environment.
• Rage arises when a person realizes his helplessness and insecurity. Often this state looks like passive aggression or a strong outburst of negative emotions.

Core values ​​violated

Our values ​​are what is important to us at a deep level. Core values ​​can be: justice, loyalty, freedom, independence, family, adventure and others. Emotions are strongly associated with them.

When we live our values, we experience a sense of pride and deep satisfaction. When we go against them, we may experience feelings of shame or anger. It is anger that often indicates that we or another person have violated life principles that are important to us.

Try to understand what important values ​​you are neglecting and bring your life back into balance in accordance with them.

The Unobvious Benefits of Anger

Many people realize that all emotions, including negative ones, must be lived through. Anger provides psychological release and promotes purification; you can read about this above in the “Purposes of Anger” section. But at the same time, there are many other, unobvious benefits from anger:

1. Helps to persuade the interlocutor in your favor. If a person is angry, then the interlocutor unconsciously fears him, quickly agrees to his conditions, and accepts his point of view. Of course, you shouldn’t constantly resort to this technique, but it exists.
2. Allows a person to become more successful in his career. Someone who openly and reasonably expresses dissatisfaction will be promoted or their salary will be raised faster, rather than remaining silent for fear of ruining relationships in the team.
3. Increases the duration and quality of life. Hot Spaniards and Italians live much longer than calm Englishmen or prim Germans. Showing your true emotions, including anger, is very good for your health. People who contain them within themselves are more susceptible to heart attacks, strokes, hypertensive crises, and oncology.
4. Reduces crime rates. Previously, it was believed that playing violent computer games forces a person to repeat the same thing in reality. New research has found that teenagers who play bloody shooting games show much lower levels of aggression than their peers who don't play.
5. Develops creativity. If you can’t do, write or come up with something, then you should get really angry. In a state of anger and emotional arousal, a person generates ideas much better.
6. Capable of strengthening relationships. A person who shows mercy, constantly forgives and justifies everyone, is more likely to be offended again. Forgiveness does not help resolve the conflict, but only deepens and reopens emotional wounds. Sometimes it is useful to express anger and show clearly why your partner’s behavior is unacceptable.
7. Makes the brain work more intensely. When a person is angry, he can begin to perceive information better, evaluate it from different angles, and quickly come to the right decision.
8. Helps to be honest. If a person is unfairly accused of something, then sooner or later, in a fit of anger, he will get angry. This technique often helps police officers understand whether the person in front of them is really innocent, or whether he is carefully hiding something.

Of course, we are talking about periodic anger and its ecological manifestation. Constant unconscious anger, rage, and aggression will deprive a person of these advantages.

Do you know any non-obvious benefits of anger? Be sure to share your knowledge, experience and observations in the comments.

Emergency self-help methods

Let's look at emergency self-help techniques in acute situations.

Count to ten

When you can no longer contain your aggression and anger, tell yourself “stop” and slowly count to ten. Don't do or say anything else during this time. You need to restore the balance between your mind and emotions. The account will help you with this.

Most likely, after this simple action you will no longer want to destroy everything and hurl curses. Of course, the anger itself will not go away, but at least you will take control of it.

Distance yourself from the source of irritation

Anger rarely arises suddenly and out of nowhere. As a rule, it is preceded by other negative emotions: irritation, annoyance, disappointment. As the situation escalates, they snowball and eventually lead to an emotional explosion.

Therefore, try to leave the source of negative emotions as soon as possible, if possible. For example, leave the store if you are nervous about a long line, interrupt a conversation that is unpleasant for you, get off a crowded bus and call a taxi. Yes, this may cause some inconvenience, but it will save your nerve cells and prevent acute conflict situations.

Breathe slowly and deeply

During attacks of anger, breathing quickens and becomes shallow. Start breathing deeply, engaging your chest and stomach. This will help you calm down. Let each inhalation and exhalation last at least 5 seconds.

The ratio of carbon dioxide and oxygen will return to normal, mental clarity will return, and emotional intensity will decrease.

Move

When possible, neutralize anger through movement. If he finds you, for example, at work, find a secluded place and do a short exercise.

Forcefully clench and unclench your fists, squat, jump in place. This will help reduce the concentration of cortisol in the blood.

Write

When there is no way to express your emotions in a natural way - to shout, cry, talk to someone - entrust them to paper. As they say, she will endure anything.

If someone has seriously offended you in a way that provoked anger, calling them out loud may not always be the best idea. And you can express your indignation on paper without damaging your relationships or reputation. You don’t have to be shy in your expressions and cover up the offender with the most offensive words, if that makes it easier for you.

It is better to do this immediately after a conflict arises. So that aggression does not accumulate and poison you from the inside.

Another positive effect of this practice is that after a while you will be able to read what you have written and draw important conclusions. Emotions will subside - the situation will appear before you in a completely different light. You realize that you made a mistake and reacted inappropriately.

Use your sense of humor

Anger and laughter are incompatible emotions. The brain cannot experience them at the same time. Therefore, if you manage to find something comical in the situation and laugh at it, then the anger will disappear by itself.

You can imagine, for example, how a boss shouting at you grows horns. Or how people in line at the bank sing in chorus the song of the group “Hands Up”. You can simply remember a funny joke or a comical incident from life.

And the best option is to find a reason for self-irony and laugh at yourself. Very often anger arises from an inflated sense of self-importance. Self-irony helps to return from the imaginary throne to earth and look at the situation with an adequate perspective.

Look at the situation from the outside

Try to abstract yourself from the situation. Imagine leaving your body, standing back and observing what is happening, as if you were watching an emotional scene in a movie.

Here in front of you is your figure in a tense pose with a red face from anger. Not the most pleasant sight, is it? It’s unlikely that you would want others to remember just such an image of you.

While all these thoughts are running through your mind, you will not even notice how the intensity of your anger will decrease. This is because your brain will switch from experiencing emotions to thinking.

Direct your energy towards destruction

In a state of anger, we want to break, destroy, destroy everything around us. Give yourself this opportunity. You just need to do this in a socially acceptable way so as not to cause harm to yourself and other people.

You can take old dishes you don’t need and smash them on the floor with all your might. Or smash some broken equipment with a hammer. Just don’t get too carried away – it’s very easy to get the hang of it. Naturally, no one should be nearby.

A more harmless way is to tear the paper. Perfectly calms the nerves and helps you relax.

More than 100 cool lessons, tests and exercises for brain development

Start developing

I recommend reading Dan Dubravin’s book “Anger Management.” You will delve deeper into the topic of emotional intelligence, learn to control your emotions and competently manage such powerful energy as anger.

How to express anger correctly, without harm

In a fit of anger, a person can do something stupid or something that he will greatly regret later. It is important to express anger correctly and safely for others:

1. Sit down and write your offender a long, angry and emotional letter. Don't restrain yourself in your expressions. If towards the end of the letter the anger has not gone away, then what is written can be burned or torn, representing the ill-wisher.
2. Pound a pillow, a punching bag, or even the air. Shouting obscenities is not prohibited.
3. Get yourself a special glass or jar for anger and scream into it from the bottom of your heart. But you can do without a glass.
4. Do some physical exercise or go for a run.
5. Sing at the top of your lungs some Russian folk song like “There Was a Birch Tree in the Field” or “Valenki”. Or any other, at your own discretion.
6. Tear or crumple some unnecessary notebook or written notebook.

If dialogue with another person cannot be avoided, then you need to take responsibility for what happens to you. You can ask your interlocutor for forgiveness. For example, “Sorry, I’m angry now, I can say all sorts of stupid things. Give me a few minutes, I’ll calm down, and we’ll discuss everything.”

What techniques help you deal with your own anger? Share in the comments, maybe it will help someone.

Aggression as a disease

Outbursts of anger and aggression often indicate the development of a serious illness. Moreover, in each specific case, the manifestations of such a psycho-emotional state may differ significantly. If there is no disease, the attack goes away on its own after the provoking factor is eliminated.

Hormonal imbalances are manifested by sudden changes in mood. Attacks of rage occur for no apparent reason. At the same time, a person can quickly gain weight, even if he eats no more than usual. Headaches may occur, sleep may be disturbed, and gastrointestinal disorders may occur. The person’s well-being deteriorates, and the temperature may periodically rise for no apparent reason. Women experience menstrual irregularities.

Diabetes can cause violent outbursts of anger. In addition, a person feels thirsty and his appetite worsens. Gastrointestinal disturbances are also observed, the lower extremities swell. There is a frequent urge to urinate, and incomplete emptying of the bladder is felt. In men and women, sexual desire is completely absent or reduced.

During pregnancy, similar attacks may also occur. In this case, there may be no visible provoking factor. This is not a pathology. During pregnancy, hormonal levels change rapidly. This causes outbreaks of aggression and bad mood.

With hyperthyroidism, outbursts of unmotivated aggression may occur. The person behaves nervously, he has increased excitability and imbalance. Speech becomes rapid and sometimes incoherent. A person may feel unmotivated fear, anxiety, and suffer from insomnia. At the same time, the eyeballs protrude, and there may be double vision. The pressure becomes unstable, and sometimes the temperature rises. Appetite increases, but body weight decreases.

In each specific case, specific manifestations of outbursts of anger are determined. Diagnosis should be carried out by an experienced doctor.

Frequently asked questions and answers

Why do some people get angry more often than others?

The intensity of emotions varies from person to person. There are people who have quite developed anger (for example, they were bullied at school, their parents constantly scolded them, their relationships with the opposite sex did not work out). Naturally, they will become angry more often than people who had more joy and support in their lives.

Why understand when anger arises?

Not all people are able to control their own anger, and that's okay. Often, in the heat of rage, a person gets irritated by absolutely everything, even minor things. A new wave of anger about this could only make the situation worse. It is important to understand when anger arises so that you can give yourself time to deal with it, and then move on to addressing important issues again. People, not understanding how anger manifests itself, may confuse it with shame or powerlessness. And these feelings manifest themselves in different ways. This means they require different actions.

What happens if you don't express your feelings?

The accumulation of emotions, especially negative ones, leads to psychosomatic diseases and deterioration of health. Constant anger provokes constant tension and spasms, deterioration of blood and lymph flow. If a person accumulates anger within himself for a long time, then sooner or later he may “break through.” The shock wave of anger can provoke a serious conflict, fight, or other harm to others.

Manifestation of aggressiveness

Outbursts of anger in men can be caused by certain physiological features. Hormonal imbalances are one of the most common factors of this manifestation. If a man's body produces more testosterone than is acceptable, outbursts of anger will appear. Aggression towards others will go off scale.

Sometimes this behavior is explained by a hereditary factor. Representatives of the stronger half of humanity inherited it from their medieval ancestors. During these times, they had to defend their territory. Moreover, the conflicts were very serious. If a man showed weak character, he could die himself, and at the same time all members of his family. Therefore, such behavior helped to survive. However, in the modern world such behavior is unacceptable. Therefore, aggression is a deviation in the mental sphere.

Outbursts of anger in women are also often the result of hormonal imbalances. If there are abnormalities in the female reproductive system, severe premenstrual syndrome, or other similar conditions, this can cause a woman’s aggressive behavior. More often, such behavior is observed among the fair sex before or during menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause. Hormonal disorders require proper treatment. By eliminating the root cause, such manifestations can be significantly reduced.

The nature of female aggression differs from male aggression. It is also caused by hereditary factors. A woman protects her child, so she has an outburst of aggression in moments of danger. It is also a survival factor that has been honed and passed down since ancient times.

Outbursts of rage in women and men require not only medical but also psychological treatment. However, the approach to representatives of both sexes must be specific. Physiology and factors that determine human behavior are taken into account.

What is irritability

Anger and irritability have one common derivative - aggression. But if anger is a reaction to a specific external danger, then irritability is cumulative inconvenience caused by all kinds of prohibitions of a physical, mental and emotional degree.

Simply put, irritability is an increased emotional response to stimuli that do not correspond to the stated effect. A person explodes over trifles. This can be explained by bad character. But, according to psychiatrists, such a personality trait occurs in only 0.1%.