Loving your life is your main mission. The meaning of your existence is to come to love. To build such a life, you have to change and strive for the best for yourself. Do you greet new days with indifference? Don't you feel joy when you see the rising sun in the morning? You should learn to love life. Conditions are constantly changing, so your “mission” will probably never end. Here are some tips you can start with to truly love your life.
Get rid of what you don't need to make room for what's important.
Everyone's life is limited by time. No one can escape this limitation. You have to think about how you manage your 24 hours in a day. If you do tasks you don't like, you take time away from the things you really enjoy. If you spend a lot of time with toxic people, you take time away from those you truly enjoy being with.
Non-existent indestructible barriers
The main pitfall of striving for security is a trick of the mind when one’s own fears are mistaken for the ultimate impenetrable walls of existence.
From childhood, everyone feels that the boundaries of the familiar are not the end of the world, they hide a world of endless possibilities. But if you don’t dare to follow them, fear becomes a constant background. So unpleasant that consciousness displaces the experience into the latent. You lose your understanding of what exactly you are afraid of - but you only feel how an invisible force with a stranglehold is daring you away from the limits of everyday life. And then they confuse their limited, empty life with global reality. As if everything in general is “decay and vain existence.”
In the articles I have already said that the mind always reaches out to the most comfortable conditions for itself, and from this perspective, every personal movement is the fulfillment of a current desire. Another thing is that a clear awareness of the desired scenarios of a happy life can disappear completely when the desire to hide in safety prevails.
For example, a person goes to a job he doesn’t like, seemingly “forcedly, not of his own free will,” but does it for specific reasons - money, approval, comfort zone - these “sacrifices” are his current secondary benefit, which has overpowered the voice of the soul.
Neurotic compulsion is a reluctance to admit that the desire to hide from fear turned out to be stronger than the desire for freedom.
Remember death
For many, death is a taboo topic. No one wants to remind themselves that sooner or later existence will come to an end. Most either ignore it or laugh it off because thinking about it is depressing. However, there is something useful in thinking about death: motivation to live.
People who are close to death often realize what was truly important to them. They gain a desire to live, their motivation is so high that they forget about all the everyday nonsense and focus on what really matters.
Think about your death and answer a few questions:
- What will be left after you?
- What will matter at the end of life?
- If the end is near, will you be happy with your days?
These are probably the questions that frighten people when they think about death. It’s better to ask yourself them now, because you still have enough time to change everything.
Living with the truth - “Liar, liar.”
Anyone who lies to others will be tormented by his conscience or the consequences of lying. Anyone who lies to himself closes himself off from happiness. Is it possible to rejoice while living someone else's life?
Lawyer Fletcher Reed does not represent his profession without lying. He manages to screw his family too. In the end, he lies to himself, thinking that work is his main treasure. As a result, the man almost loses his son, almost ruins his career, and almost loses his only true friend - his elderly secretary Greta. As trite as it may sound, it is the truth that saves him from all troubles, even if not in a direct way. What happens to these Fletchers if they don't come to their truth? They:
- lose loved ones, friends, remain lonely;
- lose themselves, the real meaning of life, guidelines;
- experience a constant obsessive feeling that something is missing;
- suffer from neurotic disorders, outbursts of aggression, apathy;
- become prone to depression, psychosomatic illnesses, and addictions;
- as a result, they do not achieve anything because of fatigue, sadness, and loss;
- soon they begin to regret the years they spent wrong.
Value the process, not the result
Having a goal is necessary. When you think about what you are striving for, your motivation increases. This is a good side, but there is also a bad side. You focus too much on the future. You regard every action today as a contribution to the future. Your entire present is dedicated to the future. This can lead to despondency. You will make efforts, but you will not see the real results of your work. Your goal should become just a guideline, not the meaning of life. Live here and now. Enjoy the process.
Follow your heart - Ace Ventura.
Eccentric, slightly adventurous pet detective Ace Ventura is a shining example of dedication to his work. His profession is strange, rare, but why does he do it? Because it contains three signs of a “favorite thing”:
- benefit . Losing pets is a real tragedy for many;
- Love . Ace likes his job, he feels needed, recognized;
- skills . The detective knows his job and successfully completes cases one after another.
If you erase the veil of film fiction and humor, you can see that this is an ordinary everyday situation. If a person likes something, he knows how to do it, while bringing benefits to the world around him, then this activity should not be given up.
How does it happen in reality? Due to social pressure, dependence on money, and the race for prestige, many abandon their calling. What does this lead to? To the same depression, addictions, neuroses, diseases. Therefore, it is better to always listen to your heart. If there is no opportunity to make good money in the field of interest, let this business remain as a hobby. The main thing is to preserve it.
Ace Ventura also shows how important pets are. They themselves bring happiness, make people happy in difficult moments, and teach them to enjoy small joys.
Life is a compromise
At some point you will have to look at your life and make a difficult decision. Getting rid of toxic people is not easy, because you also have to leave behind years of shared memories. If you want to improve your skills, you will have to sacrifice your time. If you want to move to another city where there are more opportunities, you will have to break ties with your hometown.
Every choice has consequences. And you will always have to look for compromises. To love life, you have to accept this: things don't always go the way you planned. Accept your imperfect decisions, accept your imperfect world. The choices you make define your life and make it unique. Don't be afraid of difficulties. They can teach you new things and give meaning to your life.
Advice from psychologists on how to love life and enjoy every day
The general level of love of life depends on how much a person knows how to enjoy each individual day and even hour. Many psychologists, in their therapy dealing with completely different needs, begin to work so that a person feels the joy of every day and learns to live in the present, and not look back at the categories of the past or future, which give nothing but unnecessary experiences.
You can restore your level of enjoyment in life by allowing yourself to immerse yourself in the past, but not for the purpose of thinking about situations, what could have been done or in regrets, but with a positive assessment. You can go through your achievements, look back at difficult times, but without regret, but with pride in overcoming difficulties. The more positive you notice in your past, the more it will become a resource for the present. This way you can understand that existing problems are not significant, because you have previously dealt with more difficult ones, raise your level of self-esteem and decide on new achievements, appreciating your existing achievements and considering them as a springboard.
How to love life again? After the past has been correctly assessed, it is necessary to switch to the present and appreciate those people who happen to be nearby. There is no point in regretting those who left your life or constantly bring negative experiences with their inconstancy - minimize your own stress. The more a person learns to value every minute of his time, the more pleasure he lives it, spends it with significant people, does important things, instead of wasting a limited time resource on those who do not deserve it.
How to love life and yourself? Take responsibility for your happiness and trust less and be charmed by others in advance. If you expect to be made happy or demand fulfillment of promises made in the heat of passion, then in the end you can turn your life into hell on your own. Trust only yourself and the highest manifestation of the universe. The world is truly such that it can take care of anyone, but to do this you need to relax and be open to interacting with any person, and not expect a grand salvation from just one.
It is necessary to cultivate love and forbearance towards others. As long as we are able to forgive other people’s mistakes and forget negative actions, we establish relationships with significant people, but few people treat themselves this way. High demands are placed on oneself, even small mistakes are not forgiven, and other people’s remarks, said in passing, are perceived as an argument for active changes. You need to understand that you, too, are not omnipotent, you have the right to make mistakes, and that your own love and care is always more healing for the psyche than someone else’s. You can’t suppress your needs and work with all your might to please others and earn their love, just as you can’t sacrifice your interests and health so that someone else can feel good. Following such a strategy, life can become unbearable, and another will only understand that it is convenient to use you to further improve their life.
Work on liberating your own emotional sphere. You can periodically play the role of a madman or a prankster, remember bandits from movies and cartoons - everyone has a mischievous devil and a huge level of spontaneity. The opportunity to run through puddles, swim in a fountain, catch a balloon and play with a child whose ball accidentally landed on your foot - these are all manifestations of inner freedom from external rules and responsibilities. The more such rash actions, coming from the heart and a childish desire for joy, you commit, the more happiness your life will be filled with, the more different interesting opportunities and risky options for development your subconscious will begin to notice.
Don’t be afraid to be funny and open, stupid and crazy, support those who are judged and feared, dress not in accordance with unspoken rules, but according to your own taste - all this will create a slight flair of strangeness for others, but truth for you.
The whims of lovers
When the lover confesses his love in return, the lover believes that he has been handed a ticket to guaranteed happiness, and his hopes flare up with triple strength. In fact, with his confession, a lover can express a fleeting impulse of passion that does not imply any promises. Therefore, rushing ahead with the enthusiastic construction of castles in the air of illusory love only guarantees an escape from reality and subsequent bitter disappointment.
If disappointment is unbearable, the soul finds a way out in a new, intensified separation from reality, and layers a compacted layer of illusions until the unconsciousness of madness.
It is not easy for a growing soul to admit that she has no real power over life and people. There is only an eternal claim to an ideal life. Suspended grievances are a capricious refusal to acknowledge the groundlessness of one’s requests.
Idealization
The other extreme and a way to not love your life is idealization - its hypostases: love, fanaticism and deification. In this vein, they fall in love not with people, but with their fantasies about an ideal life. Therefore, they exalt by idealization not only lovers, but in general every supposed harbinger of future happiness - for example, teachers and preachers who advertise those tempting heights with which the mind is selflessly enchanted.
It would seem that everything is wonderful, but this is the real, strongest desire - to follow your ideal path and get the happiness you are looking for. And at first, the idealist is truly, as if on the eve of sparkling success, overwhelmed with joy. In contrast to yesterday's life and familiar surroundings, he may feel chosen, honored with a lucky star.
But idealization is fraught with a catch that quickly spoils everything. It encourages you to cling with all your might to the non-existent, to mistake dreams divorced from life for an impending reality - another false projection. The idealist initially rejoices not at present events and people, but at how the present “should” unfold into future triumph. The idealist has not yet “jumped over”, but has already shouted “gop” at the top of his lungs a thousand times. In your imagination.
A clear example is sectarianism, where adherents who believe in rapid success are drawn into the abyss of hopes for spiritual laurels. Followers of financial pyramids similarly expect rapid growth, inclusion in the elite, and an endless stream of big and easy profits. And most often they punish themselves with idealization in relationships, when they attribute their only possible happiness to the reciprocity of their beloved.
