“Don’t think about the bad – you’ll get sick”
As Eastern wisdom says: “The worst enemies of a person cannot be those troubles that can come with one’s own thoughts.”
Avicenna, who was a famous healer of antiquity, said: “A doctor has three means of fighting diseases: treatment with words, plants, and a knife.” You need to pay attention - treatment with words is put in first place
A young French psychologist, Emilie Quie, in a Paris hospital, at her own peril and risk, supposedly with the permission of the head physician, forced patients to mentally or out loud repeat the phrase “Every day I get better and better,” three times a day, mentally or out loud, ten times. Moreover, this should not be a mechanical repetition, but, if possible, vividly and with feeling.
How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You
“How can I stop worrying about what others think of me?” - this is a question many people ask themselves, and today we want to discuss why it is not cool to spend the lion's share of your time thinking and worrying about what others think of you.
In a nutshell: When you associate your self-worth with other people's opinions, you develop a distorted sense of reality. But before we look at how to fix this, we need to understand why we do this.
Every person wants to be liked by others, dreams of being attractive in the eyes of others. Many people constantly monitor their Facebook page and Instagram account, counting likes and comments. To be liked by others is an innate desire that was born with us. It has long been proven that infants' emotions often depend on the behavior of the people around them.
As we mature, we learn to separate our thoughts and emotions from the opinions of other people, but many of us continue to seek, and in some cases ask, approval of our actions from others. This can lead to serious problems, especially when it comes to self-esteem and happiness. A recent survey was conducted in which 3,000 people took part, and 67% of those surveyed admitted that their self-esteem directly depends on what other people think of them.
We react to everything that surrounds us. We have long-established expectations about how the world should work and how the people who inhabit it should behave. And one of our firmly established beliefs is that we know how other people should react to us, to our appearance and behavior.
About 100 years ago, sociologist Charles Cooley came up with the theory of the mirror self, the main idea of which is as follows:
I am not what I think of myself, and I am not what others think of me. I am what I think about what others think about me.
This once again proves how much importance we attach to the opinions of other people.
However, we forget that other people often judge us based on their past experiences, their habits, feelings, and so on. That is, based on everything that has nothing to do with us. Sometimes it comes to the point of absurdity: a person can form an opinion about you based on the fact that he once communicated with a person who is similar to you in appearance or who has the same last name as you. Thus, basing self-esteem on other people's opinions is very unreliable.
When you rely completely on the assessment of other people, you try in every possible way to please them, to rise in their eyes, and ultimately lose your self.
But there is good news: we have the power to stop this. We can become self-sufficient and not look back at others, wondering how they evaluate our every step. So where to start.
Remind yourself that many people DO NOT think about you at all.
We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how rarely they do.
Ethel Barrett
Nothing could be closer to the truth than this statement. Other people have better things to do than sit and think about you. If you think that someone thinks badly of you, mentally criticizes you, then think twice. Maybe this is a figment of your imagination? Perhaps this is just an illusion that is fueled by your inner fears and self-doubt. If you constantly engage in self-flagellation, this will become a real problem that will poison your entire life.
Think with your own head
Sit down and in a calm environment think about what place other people's opinions about you occupy in your life. Think about situations in which the evaluations of others are meaningful to you. Determine how you react to them. If you understand that the assessments and opinions of others determine your self-esteem, then think about changing your behavior pattern.
Tell yourself: “Instead of relying on others again, I will learn to listen and hear my own thoughts and think exclusively with my own head.” Learn to cut out unnecessary noise, separate the wheat from the chaff. The more often you do this, the faster it will become a habit.
The ultimate goal of all of this is to never let the opinions of others determine what kind of person you are or how you should live your life. Understand that no one will ever be able to make you feel like a “little person” unless you give them that power yourself.
Feel free - don't try to find out what others think of you
When people start putting their creations out into the world, such as writing a blog, they often worry about how to write in a way that others will enjoy. They worry even more when they torment themselves with thoughts that other people don’t like their work.
Until one day they realize how much effort and energy they spend on these useless experiences. Understand, it's not worth it.
As already mentioned, how other people treat you cannot determine your life. Imagine, a person may like you or, conversely, not like you just because you remind him of another person from his life whom he loves or does not love. That is, he can build his opinion about you solely on his associations, which have nothing to do with you.
Have a new mantra that you repeat to yourself every day:
This is my life, my choice, my mistakes and my lessons. I shouldn't care what others think about it.
Pay attention to what really matters
People will always think what they want. You cannot control the thoughts of others. Even if you choose your words carefully and have excellent manners, this does not mean that you will be nice to everyone. Everything can be misinterpreted and turned upside down.
What really matters is how you evaluate yourself.
Therefore, when making important decisions, try to be 100% true to your beliefs and values. Never be afraid to do what you think is right.
Start by listing 5-10 qualities that are important to you. For example:
- honesty;
- self-esteem;
- self-discipline;
- compassion;
- focus on success and so on.
If you have a list like this, you will be much less likely to make uninformed decisions, you will have a system of principles, and ultimately you will have something to respect yourself for.
Stop thinking that not liking someone is the end of the world
What if they don't like me? What if the person I care about refuses me? What if I am considered a black sheep? These and similar questions too often plague people. Remember: if someone doesn’t like you, and even if the person you care about doesn’t feel the same way about you, it’s not the end of the world.
But we continue to fear precisely this mythical “end of the world” and allow our fears to get the better of us, constantly feeding them ourselves.
Ask yourself: “If my fears come true and the worst happens, what will I do?” Tell yourself a story (or better yet, write it down) about how you will feel after rejection, how you will be disappointed for a while, and then you will understand that this is a negative, but still an experience, and you will move on. This simple exercise will help you understand that not liking someone is not such a big deal.
What do you think about this?
Source: lifehacker.ru
And what was the result?
After a month, not only the entire medical staff of the hospital, but all of France began to talk about this doctor’s patients. An amazing fact was the recovery of seriously ill patients; for some patients, surgical intervention was canceled. That is, confirmation has been received of the conjecture expressed by the great ancient scientist Paracelsus, who argued that faith can work miracles. This is how the law of attraction works, read more about it separately.
Our health is a direct consequence of human thinking
No one questions the existence of a direct connection between the physical and mental state of a person. “The best protection against all diseases and any infections is the presence of positive emotions and a firm belief in one’s health,” says Andrei Metelsky, a psychotherapist with many years of experience. “Thoughts about the negative destroy. For example, anger can be caused by diseases of the gastrointestinal tract. Resentment can, over time, affect the liver, pancreas, and lead to cholecystitis.”
Some important psychological laws are:
Expressed words of love, sympathy and admiration lead to an increase in the vital energy of the one to whom they were addressed. And unkind, evil words can reduce the energy of the listener.
There continues to be a steady increase in the total number of diseases associated with bad thoughts. To counter this, you need to remember the advice of the ancient sages - enjoy life, no matter how hard it may be! So, a person’s life, health and destiny are directly dependent on the thoughts that fill him. If you expect good things, you need to think about good things. If you think about bad things, that’s what you will get.
All our constant thoughts develop into convictions of their mandatory implementation.
Based on this faith, an event is born...
That is why, from today, start setting yourself up only for the good, always hope for the best.
The Harm of Negative Thinking
The negative impact of constant bad thoughts is obvious:
- Health hazard. When a person plagues himself with negative thoughts, imagining and assuming the worst, this can affect his physical condition. The quality of sleep deteriorates, appetite disappears or, conversely, becomes uncontrollable, various psychosomatic problems arise (heartbeat irregularities, nervous tics, panic attacks). Immunity decreases.
- Communication problems. It becomes more difficult to interact with loved ones who are tired of the negative attitude emanating from a person. People around you begin to avoid communication or become irritated. Or the person himself begins to get angry or offended at them because they do not understand how he experiences and suffers. The person becomes nervous, and causeless mood swings occur. It's always off-putting.
- Obstacles to achieving goals. It is difficult for a person who is already setting himself up for a bad outcome to achieve anything. Due to the fact that he is nervous and overworks himself, he cannot concentrate on the task, which means he risks actually making mistakes. Sometimes he doesn't even start.
Where do bad thoughts come from?
Not all people have the tendency to think about the bad (terrible), to overthink themselves, to exaggerate, to imagine what did not happen. Only those who are naturally more sensitive can behave this way under certain circumstances.
Emotionality in itself is neither good nor bad, it is simply a quality that can manifest itself in a person, positively or negatively for himself and for others. If emotionality is a plus sign, then such a person is understanding and sensitive, capable of sincere empathy and all-encompassing love. He appreciates the beauty of the surrounding world like no one else, in all its manifestations: nature, art, human relationships.
If emotionality manifests itself with a minus sign, it becomes fuel for any negative experiences. A person can suffer from mood swings, fall into deep melancholy, throw tantrums, for which he himself later becomes ashamed, experience fears and anxiety for a variety of reasons.
Sensuality is closely related to imagination. On the one hand, this is a mandatory quality for people who engage in art as professionals or amateurs. And in everyday life, imagination helps to generate new ideas and solve various issues. It gives a vision of the future (what will happen if I do this), and therefore hope and incentive to try.
On the other hand, the imagination can also throw up scary pictures of something that has not happened yet (or even will never happen), but is disturbing. A person begins, without wanting to, to further develop frightening thoughts and see new images of possible events. He himself doesn’t know how to stop thinking about bad things. He doesn't choose these thoughts.
What does a plus or minus sign mean when it comes to emotionality? If we analyze, positive manifestations are always aimed at the world around us and other people: creating works of art, promoting cultural and moral values, helping those in need, sympathy, love. Negative manifestations, although they often “hit” those around them, are fundamentally always about themselves (I feel bad, I’m scared, I’m lonely).
