Do you want to succeed? Learn to think big

The basic principles and rules of the art of thinking on a large scale were created by the greatest and wisest thinkers and doers who lived on planet Earth. Such as the prophet David , who wrote: “Whatever a man thinks in his heart, that is what he is”; like the philosopher Emerson , who said: “Great are those who see that thoughts rule the world”; like Milton , who wrote in Paradise Lost: "Reason of itself can turn hell into heaven and heaven into hell"; like Shakespeare , who wisely observed that "nothing is good or bad until reason makes it so."

In The Art of Thinking Big, David Schwartz articulates and presents to the reader a wealth of practical ideas, techniques, and principles that will help you harness the powerful power of thinking big.

David Schwarz is a professor at Georgia State University, Atlanta, and has been recognized as America's leading authority on motivation. He is also president of Creative Educational Services, a consulting company specializing in leadership development.

The main ideas and principles of the art of thinking big

Expand your skills

Hating your job or company doesn't mean you can't achieve your own accomplishments. If you're bored with daily tasks, try finding new opportunities to learn or develop skills. Take the initiative and see where you can do more or better to complete the project on time or below budget.

What if you notice that a team member or colleague is having difficulty with their project? Increase your value: help him. There may be a specific department that could use your skills and experience. But be careful: remember that you are not the one managing the staff. Moreover, being overloaded with additional work will not lead to anything good. Show balance without going to extremes.

Ability to notice

Thinking broadly is your ability to notice more. More options, more choice, more resources.

It all starts with noticing more. You will never have a complete story. If you are in a meeting, there are as many different realities as there are people in the room. There is always another way to look at things.

Katja Verresen

The problem is that we are not biologically adapted to this.

In 1999, Harvard University published a now-famous study in which participants were shown a video of a small basketball team passing the ball around in a circle. Participants were asked to count the number of times the ball was passed. Pretty simple, right?

After watching, when subjects were asked if they noticed anything unusual, more than half of the participants had no idea what the researchers were talking about. They missed the fact that in the video there was a man in a gorilla suit walking around the court. Most subjects didn't notice it because their brains had erased the information.

Sangudo/Flickr.com

How does this relate to work and life? When you're too focused on a task or idea, you miss a lot of what's going on around you. It's just biology. You are not crazy or stupid. Our brains are simply designed to notice what we are looking at now and what we believe.

For example, if you believe that “it’s impossible” and “I can’t do it,” nothing will convince you.

This also illustrates how public opinion works, and you need a lot of energy to resist it. Perhaps you yourself destroy alternative paths, resources, everything that can help you, because it does not correspond to social principles.

What awaits you if you change your brain's automatic settings? Creativity and competitive advantage.

When you dedicate time and energy to noticing, new doors open for you. Your intuition grows, you feel that the Universe is helping you. But in reality, you just don't limit yourself.

You can cultivate broad thinking and awareness. Just like the habit of exercising or eating right, you can develop a habit of noticing if you practice hard.

Ask yourself open-ended questions when you feel stuck in your mind. Rely on your mind - it will use information that you have not perceived before.

Below we present several questions that have been designed to retrieve this information and change your map of reality.

If I experienced this situation differently, what would I notice?
What options do I have in this situation? Note that the question is not whether you have other options, by default you have them.
If I had to find something helpful in this situation, what would it be?
If this seemingly impossible task were doable, what would be my next step?
What goes right in this situation?
I'd like to know what it's like to... (there must be an action here that you think is impossible).
What resources can I use that I haven't noticed before?

Noticing also depends on being able to break down existing limitations that you believe in, including your own knowledge.

If you approach a situation neutrally, you are much more likely to notice what previously escaped your attention.

Jacques Salomé, Sylvie Galland “Get rid of loneliness. The miracle of communication"

Many people choose to be alone not because they like it. They do not know how to communicate, build relationships and present themselves in such a way as to become a welcome guest in any company. It is difficult for them to find a common language and make friends even with themselves. “Know and understand yourself,” say the authors of the book. “And you will be able to hear and understand others.”

Social psychologist Jacques Salomé, in collaboration with Sylvie Galland, not only teaches communication skills, but also reveals the philosophy of communication and tells how to hear what the interlocutor really wants to say. How, for example, can we interpret the phrase that a mother says to her daughter or a wife to her husband: “I don’t feel well, but don’t worry, go to your friends, they are waiting”? Why does an old friend suddenly start to annoy us out of the blue? Are these unmet needs? Or old grievances? Jacques Salomé and Sylvie Galland know the answer.

Prospects

According to businessmen, refocusing on environmentally friendly production can be costly, because some equipment may have to be replaced, some technological processes will need to be revised. But it pays off. The world is changing every day and what is not useful, interferes and causes harm is today perceived as outdated and outdated. The products of non-eco-friendly companies lose their attractiveness in the eyes of the buyer, and no amount of advertising can help the matter. But those who decide to rely on conscious entrepreneurship really have a better chance of keeping their business afloat.

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Neutral attitude

Some call it “beginner's perspective,” but the concept itself goes beyond mere ignorance of the matter. To be neutral means to accept judgments and assumptions without limiting your view by any restrictions.

For several years, Verresen was one of the trainers for Stanford Graduate School of Business's most popular courses. The program was called "The Way of Power" and it emphasized the importance of neutrality.

The world is not fair or unfair. He just is. If you can let go of value judgments, you will become stronger.

Ask yourself: “If I were neutral on this issue, would it make any difference? If I didn’t know anything about this and just found myself in this situation now, what would I see?”

Neutrality helps to get rid of blind optimism and pessimism and establish the right attitude towards what really exists.

Very often, Verresen heard from the heads of various companies that they could not hire employees. That no one is good enough. That everything is hopeless. And suddenly, after practicing neutral thinking and abandoning a clear vision of the “ideal employee,” it turned out that the right person was always nearby.

Neutrality also helps you realize that reality is chaos and no one thing will be true for everyone. Companies and teams are made up of many different perspectives, contradictions, opinions and voices. The best leader is the one who accepts that they are all right at the same time, not just him alone.

“If there are differing opinions on a decision, or you're deciding in a general meeting what to do next, write down everything that every person in the room says,” advises Verresen. “Maybe eight people will say yes and two will say no.” When you write down all the opinions on the board, you show that you make decisions by looking at the ideas, not the people who suggested them. And everyone sees that opinions that remain in the minority are respected and considered together with the rest.”

When you don't consider all opinions, you always pay the price. There are people who want to challenge the decision or slow down the process.

Refueling

Refueling is any activity that will boost your emotional and mental energy. Getting enough sleep, eating well and exercising is only part of the refueling, an important one, but not the only one. You can refuel just by looking at your favorite photo for five minutes. And it will make you happy.

“I coach people who run large companies, and they choose to use “power boards”—a series of photographs that evoke thoughts of powerful experiences (ideally past victories) that provide them with mental rest. This rest helps them channel their energy in the right direction, says Verresen. “It seems unlikely or far-fetched, but sometimes you don’t even have to believe in magic for it to work.”

Nandini Gupta/Flickr.com

Refueling is a very important thing, especially in the mornings, but also any time you feel yourself slipping back into a lean mindset. When you feel stiff and your heart beats faster. Refueling allows you to decide what version of yourself you want to be.

"Your body is always the first to know what's going on, so take advantage of it," advises Verresen. “Then choose the tool that will help you right now.”

Here are a few tools that work best.

Humor. Read or watch something that makes you laugh (there is a scientifically proven link between humor and creativity).
Memories. This is where “power boards” come in handy. Do you have photos of happy moments or people you love? It could be a big victory—something that seemed impossible was done. Anything that puts you in a cheerful mood and reminds you of what you value.
Music. Tracks that evoke positive associations. Listen to them when you are sad.
Movement. Stand up. Take a walk. Sitting in one position causes you to lose energy and ruin your mood.
For extroverts : Find a friend who can help you see the situation from a different perspective. Socialize in a group to feel joy and support.
For introverts : Find a quiet room to take a break from the noise. Breathe and enjoy the silence.

These tools will come in handy throughout the day. 11 a.m. and 4 p.m. tend to be low in energy, and these ways will help you recharge. Basically, any time you feel stressed, vulnerable, sad, fuel yourself with positive emotions.

Just go to a quiet meeting room, listen to music, look at a photo album created for such purposes. You need to get away from what you were just doing for a while.

Tim Regan/Flickr.com

Understand that feeling exhausted or hopeless in the middle of the day is not your fault. This will pass. Overcome your isolation from problems and concentrate on the next task.

To succeed, you need to think bigger

MOLDOVENII.MD

Our thinking is limited by what we can and cannot do, what we think is right and what is complete nonsense. But a leader or simply a person who wants to control his life cannot afford to have such a framework. What are the benefits of “broad thinking” and how to achieve this state of mind - learn from this article.

Our society tends to think that you have to suffer and even barely survive in order to succeed. “It’s a trap,” says business coach Katia Verresen. — You will never build a billion-dollar business if you have a bad streak in your life. Success comes on the happiest days of your life. Your performance is 100% dependent on your attitude.”

Katja Verresen

Experienced business coach, helps both novice entrepreneurs from the moment of founding a startup, and experienced managers. Her clients include executives from companies such as Facebook, Airbnb, and Twitter.

The ideal attitude is what she calls “big-picture thinking.” It is a mindset that unlocks your creativity, allows you to achieve your vision, and helps you improve your life every day.

When Verresen first meets with his clients, they are in “reactive” mode. Like actors in a film, they play their lives without knowing the script or perspective. Her goal is to put them in the director's chair, help them see choices, perspectives and possibilities, and rewrite and improve their script as they go.

And thinking broadly allows you to do this. Below, we'll break down the concept of thinking big with real-life examples, offering real-life tactics that anyone can implement to feel more energized, expand their view of the world, and achieve their vision of success.

Power over yourself

In her previous work with clients, Verresen has conducted diagnostics of tight and big thinking. The purpose of this procedure was to identify and separate the feelings and thoughts that are characteristic of a person in a state of small thinking from the experiences that we experience when thinking broadly.

This helped them notice the main differences between these conditions in real life. In this way, they could consciously choose to relate to the world in a more constructive way.

Small thinking Big thinking

Point of View You are either a victim, or putting others down, or simply don't know who you are. You are in a leading position.

Physical energy You have a tense body, drooping shoulders, clenched jaws, and rapid breathing. You are relaxed and collected at the same time, you control yourself and keep your balance. Breathing is deep and measured.

Emotional Energy You feel frustrated, disinterested, anxious, fearful, angry, and powerless. You delegate decision-making to the group and succumb to pressure. You feel engaged, energized, positive. You charge and inspire others. You welcome change.

Mental Energy You are confused, disorganized, narrow-minded, and focused on what isn't working. Typical mindset: “I have no choice.” You feel clarity, you can look at the situation from different sides, you listen with interest and notice what eludes others. You know how to adapt. Typical mindset: “I have a choice. If I had to notice something new, what would it be?” Creative thinking, a “beginner’s perspective.”

You can use the diagnostics yourself to get a feel for how these thinking states differ. But how do you move to big thinking if you feel and think small?

Verresen has long worked to help people make this transition. Here are six tools worth using.

1. The ability to notice

Thinking broadly is your ability to notice more. More options, more choice, more resources.

Katja Verresen

The problem is that we are not biologically adapted to this.

For example, if you believe that “it’s impossible” and “I can’t do it,” nothing will convince you.

What awaits you if you change your brain's automatic settings? Creativity and competitive advantage.

When you dedicate time and energy to noticing, new doors open for you. Your intuition grows, you feel that the Universe is helping you. But in reality, you just don't limit yourself.

You can cultivate broad thinking and awareness. Just like the habit of exercising or eating right, you can develop a habit of noticing if you practice hard.

Ask yourself open-ended questions when you feel stuck in your mind. Rely on your mind - it will use information that you have not perceived before.

Below we present several questions that have been designed to retrieve this information and change your map of reality.

If I experienced this situation differently, what would I notice?

What options do I have in this situation? Note that the question is not whether you have other options, by default you have them.

If I had to find something helpful in this situation, what would it be?

If this seemingly impossible task were doable, what would be my next step?

What goes right in this situation?

I'd like to know what it's like to... (there must be an action here that you think is impossible).

What resources can I use that I haven't noticed before?

Noticing also depends on being able to break down existing limitations that you believe in, including your own knowledge.

If you approach a situation neutrally, you are much more likely to notice what previously escaped your attention.

2. Neutral attitude

The world is not fair or unfair. He just is. If you can let go of value judgments, you will become stronger.

Ask yourself: “If I were neutral on this issue, would it make any difference? If I didn’t know anything about this and just found myself in this situation now, what would I see?”

Neutrality helps to get rid of blind optimism and pessimism and establish the right attitude towards what really exists.

When you don't consider all opinions, you always pay the price. There are people who want to challenge the decision or slow down the process.

3. Refueling

"Your body is always the first to know what's going on, so take advantage of it," advises Verresen. “Then choose the tool that will help you right now.”

Here are a few tools that work best.

Humor. Read or watch something that makes you laugh (there is a scientifically proven link between humor and creativity).

Memories. This is where “power boards” come in handy. Do you have photos of happy moments or people you love? It could be a big victory—something that seemed impossible was done. Anything that puts you in a cheerful mood and reminds you of what you value.

Music. Tracks that evoke positive associations. Listen to them when you are sad.

Movement. Stand up. Take a walk. Sitting in one position causes you to lose energy and ruin your mood.

For extroverts: Find a friend who can help you see the situation from a different perspective. Socialize in a group to feel joy and support.

For introverts: Find a quiet room to get away from the noise. Breathe and enjoy the silence.

Just go to a quiet meeting room, listen to music, look at a photo album created for such purposes. You need to get away from what you were just doing for a while.

Understand that feeling exhausted or hopeless in the middle of the day is not your fault. This will pass. Overcome your isolation from problems and concentrate on the next task.

4. Self-soothing

Resilience is the ability to self-soothe. This process has three phases. Verresen uses a framework proposed in the work of Kristin Neff, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin.

First, acknowledge that the experience or situation is painful, that you are suffering and struggling. Maybe you're burned out, things aren't going the way you want, or you've just received bad news. Feel the discomfort of this moment and do not try to hide it. According to Neff's work, simply by being aware of your emotions, you can already begin to calm down.

Second, realize that this pain is a common human experience. Life is full of horror and failure. Bad things happen to the best of us, and no one is alone in their experiences. “Someone has probably experienced this before or is experiencing this right now,” says Verresen. — When we feel bad, we seem to be isolated from other people. We need to reconnect with society to start rebuilding.”

Third, figure out exactly what actions are required of you to feel better right now. What can you give yourself to feel at least a little bit of relief? Maybe leave the room, sleep, exercise? Play with your pet. Go for a bike ride. Do something for yourself - something that will restore your strength, make you feel better.

Research has shown that complacency is associated with courage. For example, researchers observed war veterans returning from Afghanistan, and it turned out that the incidence of post-traumatic stress disorder was not related to the length and severity of the combat in which they participated, but to their ability to self-soothe.

Moving through these phases quickly is the only way to maintain a broad mindset in the most stressful and intense emotional situations.

Verresen recommends having several self-soothing sessions throughout the day. It takes less than three minutes and provides you with the huge benefit of emotional flexibility and resilience.

This is especially important if you are pushing yourself, fighting for something, completing tasks at high speed and need to maintain communication with your team.

5. Generosity

Find something you are willing to give. Research has shown that most strong and happy people are at the center of a wide network, constantly helping its members. This is how your community is built - be generous in what you are willing to give. Whether it's useful connections, technical skills or just the ability to listen.

Too many people think they have nothing to offer, when in fact they have a lot: attention, kindness, knowledge, access to resources.

Verresen also recommends creating “giving circles” of friends and colleagues who can do something for each other. Just 5-7 people, each of whom is working on something. This way people can turn to each other for ideas, for help in solving problems.

“Mapping another person's mind can help you get out if you're stuck,” Verresen says. “Remember that the people you know least are the most likely to tell you something new or change your worldview.”

Each person can share what they need help with, and then set a timer for 7 minutes during which you brainstorm a solution to their problem. Write down each solution proposed in the brainstorming session. This will allow you to take into account all the ideas and get concrete results. The only requirement in this practice is generosity and the understanding that there are no bad ideas.

When you create a community of people you support, you get a community that will always support you.

You should always look outside your work team for fresh ideas and perspectives. Look for someone to remove your blind spot and point out your omissions.

Find people who want to develop the same skills in the same direction, but work in a different company or in a different industry altogether. These are the people who are most likely to point you to new opportunities.

It will also help you find mentors, including experts outside your field. They can open up many new perspectives for you. What seems like a winding mountain path to you, seems like a straight, well-trodden road to those who have already been through it.

Financial advisor Larry Mohr, co-founder of Mohr Davidow Ventures, once told Verresen: “Wildfire is normal and good. Panic won't help. Just be prepared because there’s always a lot of new growth coming out after a bushfire.”

And he was right: a host of new companies, such as Twitter and Facebook, marked the birth of a new era of social media. Verresen used his confidence to get through a difficult time.

One form of generosity is gratitude. It sounds simple, but it makes a big difference to the people around you. “I see so many people who work harder because their boss told them, 'Good job,'” Verresen says.

For recognition to be effective, it must be made public and specific. Do not take a person aside and tell him: “You are wonderful.” You should speak clearly and specifically about some actions or projects in order to improve the performance of a team or an individual.

Research shows that in the highest performing teams, people adhere to the following rule: for every one constructive criticism, there should be seven positive comments.

6. Gratitude

Gratitude works wonders. Many studies have shown that practicing gratitude can reset the brain and has long-lasting effects.

But what exactly is this practice?

Take just 5 minutes a day to focus on the good things that are happening right now. Mark this time on your calendar and don't miss it. You can use gratitude when you feel low. This practice is very refreshing.

Also, do not forget about your achievements. By reminding yourself of them, you begin to believe in your capabilities much more and set greater goals for yourself.

When you take time to feel grateful for your victory, you train your brain to cope with stress and always be open to alternatives.

If you are used to feeling gratitude, you will not miss small chances and opportunities.

You can make gratitude a daily ritual. Verresen recommends taking every day, week, and month to reflect on what you have created, what you are proud of, and what you are grateful for. The best way to do this is to write it down in a journal.

Do this at the end of each day. Do this on Sunday evening - write down what you are grateful for this week and note the most important positive events. Do this on the last day of every month. Do this until you have a filtered list of three things that really matter to you.

The more you write down, the more you will increase your energy. Also try doing what Verresen suggests to his clients:

Write down what you are grateful for in your life.

Write down what you are grateful for in other people.

Send them an email right away or call them to a meeting.

This habit can change the very culture of a company. And it only takes a few minutes at the end of the day.

The habit of thinking broadly

Consistency builds trust and speed. When you do something consistently, you are working for the long term.

That way, when a fire starts and a person runs into the room yelling for everyone to stop what they're doing and start solving this problem now, you don't lose sight of your end goal. You create an internal structure that keeps your team on track.

Every leader wants to see themselves as strong, open and inspiring, not as someone who only criticizes, controls and thinks they are the smartest person in the room.

But the only way to become such a leader is to practice the techniques above and make them a habit.

At every moment in time, during every interaction with other people, you have the freedom to choose who you want to be. A good leader is one who knows that there is no situation that would force him to act in a certain way. And this gives him freedom.

When you start thinking big—noticing more and sharing more of what you know—every person on your team understands the direction you're heading. Your employees will follow your model and consider more information and opinions in the decision-making process. And they will not judge themselves harshly and be afraid to offer wrong solutions.

When you create something new, you inevitably work 11 hours a day and are constantly solving some pressing problem. In such a situation, it’s easy to tell the team: “Keep working, we’ll rest when we’re done.” It's very easy to forget about everything mentioned above, thinking that you simply don't have time for it.

But it is precisely in moments like these that you need it most. Each tool discussed above takes no more than 5 minutes and allows you to be the best you can be, which is the only way to make your team better. When it matters most, you cannot settle for less.

There are moments that will remind you why you started all this. Every significant event, crisis or even fire is your test. This is the moment when you need all the ways that can keep your productivity at the highest level.

Always remember why this job means so much to you and build on that.

Source: lifehacker.ru

Self-soothing

Resilience is the ability to self-soothe. This process has three phases. Verresen uses a framework proposed in the work of Kristin Neff, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin.

Moving through these phases quickly is the only way to maintain a broad mindset in the most stressful and intense emotional situations.

Verresen recommends having several self-soothing sessions throughout the day. It takes less than three minutes and provides you with the huge benefit of emotional flexibility and resilience.

This is especially important if you are pushing yourself, fighting for something, completing tasks at high speed and need to maintain communication with your team.

Take pride in your work environment

Of course, you can't control most things to improve your performance. But you can take care of your workspace. This is where you can stand out (in a good way). What exactly? Creating a clean desktop or office where comfort and order reign.

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As they say, purity in deeds is purity in thoughts. Keeping your workspace organized can help you clear your mind of clutter and chaos that can create additional levels of stress. If the situation allows, bring objects into your office that help you think positively: these could be photographs of loved ones, children's drawings, or small paintings.

Generosity

Too many people think they have nothing to offer, when in fact they have a lot: attention, kindness, knowledge, access to resources.

When you create a community of people you support, you get a community that will always support you.

You should always look outside your work team for fresh ideas and perspectives. Look for someone to remove your blind spot and point out your omissions.

And he was right: a host of new companies, such as Twitter and Facebook, marked the birth of a new era of social media. Verresen used his confidence to get through a difficult time.

Research shows that in the highest performing teams, people adhere to the following rule: for every one constructive criticism, there should be seven positive comments.

Gloomy prospects: why are changes needed now?

Over the past few years, the temperature of discussions about the impact of global warming on the lives of future generations has also risen. Researchers warn that unless most industrialized countries reduce greenhouse gas emissions by at least 30% by 2030, the effects of climate change will become irreversible, and temperatures on Earth could be several degrees warmer by 2100. Rising temperatures in and of themselves are not a problem - we usually like it when it's warm. The long-term effects of global warming, however, are catastrophic for the natural environment, and its condition has a fundamental impact on our quality of life.

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The increasing rate of extinction of plant and animal species causes irreversible damage to ecosystems. The long-term consequences of this will be felt painfully by our grandchildren: the greenhouse effect will limit access to food, drinking water and energy, leading to competition for resources.

Mikhail Litvak “Psychological vampirism”

Psychological vampirism is a fairly common phenomenon. You can encounter it anywhere: at work, in the family, in transport, etc. Not only strangers can turn out to be vampires, most often these are those whom we encounter every day: friends, colleagues, bosses, relatives. Perhaps sometimes we ourselves exhibit the traits of vampirism without knowing it.

By “vampiring” others, that is, shifting their problems onto them, talking about their troubles, manipulating them and taking out their bad mood on them, vampires get pleasure, their well-being improves, while the opposite happens to their victims. Stress, neuroses, hypertension, stomach ulcers, dermatitis and other diseases are the result of communicating with psychological vampires.

Mikhail Litvak dwells in detail on the types of vampires and tells how to neutralize each of them.

Benefits of a Mindful Approach

As we have already seen, different areas of business have their own advantages. But some common features can be identified:

Advertising. Environmental initiatives are supported by various organizations and attract the attention of bloggers. Caring for the environment is trending.
Avoiding fines, sanctions and troubles. Each country has its own environmental and sanitary standards, but the less negative impact your production has on nature, the less likely you are to have problems with regulatory authorities.
Investment in your own future and the future of your family. We still have every chance to go down in history as the most unreasonable generation that turned the planet into a garbage container. The way we leave it to our descendants depends on us.

Robert Trivers, Fool Yourself. How self-deception helps us survive"

We deceive ourselves much more often than others. “I definitely need this thing,” we say to ourselves, unable to refuse the purchase. “It can’t be that he didn’t like me, because he had those eyes when he looked at me,” we convince ourselves, although our intuition suggests the opposite.

Many years ago, the classic wrote: “Ah, it’s not difficult to deceive me!.. I’m glad to be deceived myself!” Why do we deceive ourselves, found out the American biologist and professor of anthropology Robert Trivers. It turned out that self-deception has biological prerequisites. It developed during human evolution and was necessary to survive.

In essence, by deception we calm ourselves down, get away from thoughts that can throw us out of balance and cause pain. But self-deception can also play a cruel joke on us. By resorting to it, we risk a lot. When is it useful to resort to self-deception, and when is it absolutely not worth doing, says Robert Trivers.

Robert Cialdini "The Psychology of Influence"

This book by an American psychology professor has gone through several editions. The reason for writing it was the desire to understand why he often had to find himself in the role of a favorite target for various kinds of businessmen and money collectors, why he gave in to them and bought useless things, why he refused or refused the same request, expressed in different ways. consent.

His focus was on the tactics and strategies of “compliance professionals”—people who know how to get others to say “yes.” These people almost always get their way and prosper, while those who cannot influence others to yield fail.

R. Cialdini divided tactics for obtaining consent into six categories and described them in this book.

Tal Ben-Shahar "Be Happier"

In this book, Tal Ben-Shahar, founder of the Well-Being Institute (yes, there is such a research institute), gives readers lessons on happiness. Happiness is his scientific specialty.

It started with the fact that the young man wanted to get rid of the feeling of emptiness that haunted him. It wasn’t that he was unhappy, it was just that happy moments passed quickly and without a trace, and he wanted the feeling of happiness to always accompany him. And a young computer science student begins to study philosophy and psychology in order to solve two questions for himself: why he is unhappy if there is no reason for this, and how to be happier. Now he knows this and helps others feel happy. To do this, they only need to follow his advice and listen to their inner self.

Those who read this book will learn six recipes for happiness.

Think about things not related to work

Having something to look forward to outside of work can alleviate the unpleasantness of your job. You'll likely start to feel better if you think about your hobby, upcoming trip, or social event. Find opportunities to see friends, go to a movie or museum, or attend free community events in your area. This will help you stay away from toxic company culture, workplace gossip, and office politics. All this will not exist for you if you focus on the positive.

Hermann Scherer “Lucky Ones.” Why are some people doing great, while others are always unlucky?”

This happens because, writes the German writer, business consultant and founder of several companies, Hermann Scherer, that some people know how to find opportunities everywhere, while others sit back and wait for fate to knock on their door and give them a chance. But even if they suddenly have a chance to prove themselves, they are not ready for it. “Life in the Waiting Room” is the title of Hermann Scherer’s chapter dedicated to people who, as children, dreamed of flying to Mars or winning Wimbledon, and as adults, they followed the path of least resistance, reducing their requests to a minimum and being content with little.

People underestimate their abilities and give up early for fear of losing. Scherer gives a simple example: a beautiful woman sits in a bar, the ideal of many men, but they swarm around pretty girls, not daring to dream of an ideal. This is exactly what most people always do, he writes, including when it comes to their professional ambitions. They retreat.

If you want to eat a fish, you need to cast a fishing rod to catch it. But people doom themselves to a drab existence without even trying their hand at it.

The next chapter of the book is called “How to distinguish life from a dress rehearsal,” but this and much more can only be learned by reading it.

Gratitude

Gratitude works wonders. Many studies have shown that practicing gratitude can reset the brain and has long-lasting effects.

But what exactly is this practice?

Also, do not forget about your achievements. By reminding yourself of them, you begin to believe in your capabilities much more and set greater goals for yourself.

When you take time to feel grateful for your victory, you train your brain to cope with stress and always be open to alternatives.

If you are used to feeling gratitude, you will not miss small chances and opportunities.

The more you write down, the more you will increase your energy. Also try doing what Verresen suggests to his clients:

Write down what you are grateful for in your life.
Write down what you are grateful for in other people.
Send them an email right away or call them to a meeting.

This habit can change the very culture of a company. And it only takes a few minutes at the end of the day.

Bohr Stanwyck, We Are All Time: How Lies, Cheating and Self-Deception Make Us Human

Since childhood, we know that lying is bad. As we grow up, we learn that there is a white lie, when the truth can harm and even kill. But even after lying for a noble purpose, we sometimes experience discomfort from our lies. And at the same time, we rejoice for the heroes from books, films, and from life, who, thanks to their ingenuity, managed to deceive the enemy and survive or win.

The mechanism of lying was studied by the Norwegian journalist Bor Stenvik, whose book “We Are All Lying” was recognized as the best study of lying. To find out why people cannot live without it, why sometimes you need to lie not only to others, but also to yourself, Bohr Stenwyck conducted many experiments. He spoke with philosophers, doctors, police officers, neuropsychologists, anthropologists, art historians and even ornithologists, attended courses in aristocratic manners, at a military research institute, and tested himself as a pick-up artist. His authority has been recognized by law enforcement agencies, who turn to him for help when they cannot distinguish lies from the truth.

In this book, which is based on scientific facts, Bohr Stanwyck explains everything about lying in an interesting and simple way, and readers, armed with this knowledge, will be able to easily recognize them and use them correctly when necessary.