Tweet
What should a woman be like? Feminine or purposeful?
This question arose one morning while talking with my eldest daughter. I even had to take a pen to write down the thoughts that arose! I really wanted to delve deeper into this topic. Perhaps, after reading the title of the article, you ask: “Why feminine or purposeful ? But can’t purposeful woman be feminine ?”
Of course it can! The possibilities of a woman, I believe, recently, are generally limitless! But the question is, what price does she pay for her own choices, her goals and how to achieve them?
Definition
If we look into the encyclopedic dictionary, we will see the following definition.
Purposefulness is a positive moral-volitional quality of an individual, which manifests itself in the form of the ability to set clear and achievable tasks and goals.
That is, determination is the concentration of feelings, thoughts and actions on persistent movement towards one’s goal and its achievement.
More than 100 cool lessons, tests and exercises for brain development
Start developing
In your own words, a purposeful person is someone who:
- knows exactly what he wants;
- understands how high the probability is that the goal will be achieved;
- knows how to keep the final goal in mind and not switch to something else;
- has strong convictions that he will not give up even under pressure from circumstances;
- systematically moves towards the realization of his task, regardless of obstacles.
Why is determination needed?
For many happy people, determination has become a priority topic in personal development, since this individual trait allows them to successfully cope with the following tasks:
- increase a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence;
- get rid of doubts and anxiety;
- overcome laziness;
- achieve success;
- gain recognition and approval from the immediate social environment;
- take criticism constructively;
- find your mistakes and ways to eliminate them;
- learn to be thoughtful about your life;
- learn to understand yourself, hear your needs;
- develop self-control skills.
Qualities of a purposeful person
When they talk about determination, they mean a number of psychological qualities:
- Discipline. This is a character trait that gives a person the ability to plan his activities and strictly adhere to this plan. Ability to set priorities and consistently resolve emerging issues.
- Determination. Carries the skill to independently, timely and competently make responsible decisions and persistently implement them.
- Hard work. A trait that manifests itself in a person’s positive attitude towards the work process.
- Self-control. Allows you to achieve goals by taking control of your emotions, thoughts and behavior. The ability to not succumb to momentary temptations, keeping the true goal and values in mind.
- Persistence. The ability to overcome all difficulties and not stray from the intended path when faced with possible obstacles. This quality can be compared to the first steps of a child who falls and gets up every time to continue his attempts.
- Strength of will. Consciously activated energy within the individual, which is directed towards achieving the desired result.
- Mindfulness. This is the perception of reality here and now, the ability to notice and recognize what attention is directed to.
Quotes from famous people
Many researchers talk about determination. The most striking quotes from writers and scientists are:
“The main stone of any success is determination” (N. Hill);
“A purposeful kid is able to defeat a weak-willed giant” (N. Hill);
“Clarity of goal and an ardent desire to achieve it are the key to victory” (N. Hill);
“The basis of determination is the ability to abstract from secondary things” (M. Dreyspitz);
“A goal-oriented person seeks means to achieve a goal. If they don’t exist, he creates them himself” (W. Channing).
Examples from life
Determination can manifest itself in any area and undertaking: business, sports, education, etc. This character trait helps to quickly achieve results and improve your standard of living, for example:
- a purposeful person achieves great results in his professional activities, quickly climbs the career ladder, receiving recognition from management and material incentives;
- in sports, such a person quickly achieves good results and takes prizes in competitions;
- determination helps to maintain motivation in studies and master new material more effectively;
- in creativity, this quality helps to bring the work started to the end: complete a painting, write a book, a piece of music, etc.
Determination is often confused with fanaticism. But it's not the same thing. I will explain the fundamental difference between them with an example.
Imagine two people going to the gym to gain muscle mass. One is raving about the results and doesn’t get off the exercise machines all night long. Another clearly set a course for getting himself in order for the summer season, regularly attends training, not forgetting about other areas of his life - family, work, leisure.
What is the difference? A fanatic limits himself to any pleasure and cannot think about anything other than his goal. For a purposeful person, his task is also important; he keeps it in his head and gradually moves towards it, but at the same time maintains his sanity and can make adjustments to his route if circumstances require it.
Examples of determination can be seen in the autobiography of any successful person. Let's remember the story of Li Ka-shing - the richest man in China and one of the most influential investors in Asia. At the age of 12, he was left as the only breadwinner in the family and was forced to quit his studies and put up with any hard work.
The only thing the father left behind to his son was a love of learning and determination. Ka-Shing set himself the goal of becoming a rich man and did not stop studying in his free time. Now we can see the fruits of his perseverance.
Eliminating Fears
With the advent of wealth, many fears go away. The person understands that the difficulties were artificially inflated. This is not surprising, because many problems arise under the influence of financial difficulties. It is difficult to think soberly when there are not enough funds to pay off the debt for rent, pay for utilities in the apartment and solve other problems. In fear of hunger, the most terrible thoughts arise in your head and have to be driven away. With the advent of money, reality becomes more rosy, confidence appears, and fears automatically become a thing of the past.
Is it possible to develop this quality?
In psychology, determination has a dual nature. To a certain extent, this personality quality can be inherent in us from birth, just like temperament. In this case, one would assume that goal-oriented parents would have similar children. But this is not entirely true.
If you do not make some efforts and do not use the right methods of education, the necessary inclinations will remain untapped potential.
Purposefulness is fully acquired with experience, environment, education and self-education.
Let's consider how to develop it in yourself and what methods there are for this.
We use the SMART method
The name of the method was given by the first letters of the words specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timed, which respectively means specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, correlated with time.
Achieving a goal directly depends on how well it meets these five characteristics. For example, if we set ourselves the goal of earning money for a new car in a month, then it will be doomed to failure in advance, unless, of course, we accidentally win the lottery. The goal of quickly losing 20 kg without compromising your health will be equally unrealistic.
Setting unattainable and unrealistic goals means dooming yourself to failure in advance.
How to become purposeful
One of the main reasons for undeveloped determination is banal laziness, which, in turn, is born from a lack of motivation. Why are we not motivated enough? Most likely because we chose our target incorrectly.
This is where a frequent problem arises when we give up on something we started halfway through and become disappointed in the task at hand and in ourselves.
Therefore, the first milestone that is important to pass on the path to becoming purposeful is making the right choice. He will set you up for a long and persistent struggle for your goal.
To understand what is true for you and what is false, that is, imposed by society, you should listen to yourself more often, study yourself, your thoughts and desires.
You can read about how to set goals correctly in the article.
Thus, choosing the right goal is already half the battle on the path to determination. But what to do next?
- Believe in yourself. Often, self-doubt prevents us from achieving results. Obstacles and competition frighten you, you give up and the initial passion disappears. Remember that there is no victory without struggle, and the one who walks will master the road.
- Learn to prioritize. In order not to scatter your energy, you need to be able to distinguish the important from the unimportant, the urgent from what can wait, and also get rid of activities that can be called a waste of time.
- Plan. It is difficult to achieve a goal when there is no clear action plan. Break big tasks into smaller ones and allow yourself breaks.
- Learn to concentrate. This means reacting less to irritating factors and constantly keeping the main goal in mind. Don't waste time on things that don't fit into the master plan.
- Come up with ways to motivate. Some people are helped by visualization, others imagine the moment of achieving the goal and their feelings at the same time. Try rewarding yourself for taking small steps.
- Overcome your own weaknesses. Not everyone is ready to develop. Many strive to be better than others, but the one who can surpass himself always wins. Test the boundaries of your comfort zone and go a millimeter beyond its limits. And so on step by step.
Positive and negative attitudes towards goal orientation
Unpurposeful people are often called lazy, parasites. Colleagues say about such people that they are weak-willed, indecisive, quiet. In other words, others speak negatively about a person who is not characterized by active actions aimed at achieving a goal. But with the attitude towards purposeful people, everything is not so simple. The attitude towards them can be both positive and negative.
purposeful individuals are willingly hired by large companies;
focus on results allows a dedicated employee to perform his job duties efficiently;
a person’s ability to make the right choice is approved by society;
high sporting results of a purposeful person arouse national pride;
a purposeful person has many friends, since many appreciate his optimism, responsibility, commitment, punctuality, and analytical mind;
a purposeful person is set as an example in a team;
the ability to remove everything unnecessary from life makes such a person a role model;
purposefulness of actions makes a person a good family man;
Self-confidence and the ability to cogently express one’s position help a motivated person to become a leader and take a leadership position in a company.
the fact that a person goes headlong towards a landmark without taking into account the needs and desires of others is condemned by others;
wanting to get what he wants, a person uses all the methods and means available to him, which are not always legal, which entails administrative or criminal liability;
people do not like the fact that a person obsessed with obtaining the desired result can use personal connections for personal gain;
a person’s moral level, which determines his actions, can be extremely low.
How to raise sense of purpose in a child
Earlier I mentioned that determination is largely determined by proper upbringing. Regardless of what genes are in the child and what environment will shape his personality in the future, the primary criterion in upbringing is always the parents.
How to make sure your child grows up purposeful? He should see a similar example of behavior. If a parent spends hours lecturing about how important it is to reach a goal, but at the same time retreats from completing their tasks at the first obstacle, there will be no point.
The child must not only know how to do it, but also have before his eyes the practical application of this knowledge using the example of his main authorities - his parents.
So the advice is simple. To raise a purposeful child, develop self-control and willpower, make specific plans and always achieve them. And the child will follow your example.
What is determination
The meaning of the word “determination” is easiest for a person to understand when he answers the question: “How do you achieve your goal?”
Determination is a strong-willed quality of a person, manifested in his desire and ability to achieve his goal. This personal characteristic is socially approved, so employers are more likely to hire those employees who have indicated in their resume that they have the ability to achieve their goals.
Achieved what I wanted
In philosophy, the definition of determination is based on a person’s subtle understanding of the picture of his own world, his ability to subordinate his momentary desires to reason. The criterion for a purposeful person is her ability to make meaningful choices.
How do you understand the meaning of the word determination?
Striving for the goal
24%
This is a quality of a person that helps him achieve his goals, achieve success, despite difficulties.
76%
Don't know
0%
Voted: 25
Psychologists, formulating the definition of this quality, focus on such components as:
- motivation;
- emotional-volitional component;
- perception;
- strength of character;
- intellectual abilities.
Based on this, we can say that psychologists consider this character trait as an integrative one that develops throughout life.
Purposefulness develops throughout life
Determination and stubbornness should not be confused. The fundamental difference between these terms lies in the fact that the pursuit of a goal is based on a person’s conviction of its truth. While stubbornness lies in the fact that a person cannot give up the chosen path, although he knows that it is wrong.
Also, one cannot equate purposefulness and fanaticism. Purposeful people independently set a goal that is meaningful to them. Fanatics blindly follow their idol and implement his ideas.
Useful books and courses
I suggest you read books on self-development that will help maintain motivation in difficult times:
- "To hell with all of it! Go ahead and do it!”, Richard Branson;
- "Drive. What really motivates us”, Daniel Pink;
- “Try it - it will work! When was the last time you did something for the first time?”, Seth Godin;
- “The subconscious can do anything”, John Kehoe;
- “Atlas Shrugged”, Ayn Rand;
- “Whatever you choose. Decisions that affect your life”, Tal Ben-Shahar;
- “Strategy for happiness. How to determine your purpose in life and become better on the way to it,” Jim Loehr.
I recommend reading other books about achieving goals.
List of interesting self-development courses:
- Emotional intelligence from the online platform Vikium;
- Critical Thinking by 4brain;
- Your course to success from Advance;
- Personal Future Design on Udemy.
You can learn about other useful courses and trainings on achieving goals on our blog.
We are engaged in visualization
In short, we can say that it is a mental representation of the desired goal as if we had already achieved it. Before practicing visualization, it is worth mastering muscle relaxation, proposed by the American doctor E. Jacobson - it will help relieve emotional and muscle tension that prevents you from focusing on visualization.
In addition, pictures and photographs with objects of our desires depicted on them or reminiscent of them, which can be hung in a visible place, will intensify our actions.
How to determine the time frame for achieving a goal
The key point at the beginning of the journey is to determine an adequate balance of forces to specify the exact time frame for achieving the goal.
You cannot set the bar too high and try to complete a complex task in the shortest possible time. In this case, the body may respond: blues, lack of diligence and abandonment of further goals.
Read more: 10 tips on how to manage time
Time management experts suggest that every person should have a beautiful diary, which will be the keeper of all planned tasks.
Thanks to the compiled schedule, you will be able to keep up everywhere, without compromising your personal life and work.
The main thing is that the time allocated to achieve the desired result is comfortable for vigorous activity.
Read more: Diary for setting tasks