Most people are familiar with the fear of loneliness. Each of us, at one time or another in our lives, inevitably faces the fear of being misunderstood and rejected. Such fear is inherent in the individual. Otherwise it is also called autophobia. A person feels restlessness, isolation, distance from others. You can feel lonely even in a crowd, when there is no one nearby who could understand. Sometimes it is not possible to overcome loneliness. It manifests itself especially clearly in situations where it is difficult to get help and support from loved ones. Gradually, the individual withdraws into himself and gets used to constantly being in a depressed state.
Symptoms of fear of loneliness
The fear of loneliness is expressed in specific manifestations that are difficult not to pay attention to. A person gradually drives himself into a framework that limits his happy worldview and prevents him from moving forward in life. Let's take a closer look at the symptoms of fear of loneliness. It is impossible not to notice it; it immediately catches your eye.
Feeling Useless
The feeling of abandonment can haunt a person for a long time. It is often not possible to get rid of it even when the individual begins to make appropriate attempts to correct the situation. The feeling of being useless puts pressure on your emotional state and affects your physical well-being. The fear of loneliness arises when there is no one to turn to for help.
Low self-esteem
Fear itself always affects the individual’s vision of their own prospects. A person begins to feel that he is not capable of anything, and there is a loss of faith in his own strength. All reflections are based only on your weaknesses. The inability to build close relationships with others is even more upsetting and hinders the building of interpersonal connections. Low self-esteem is one of the most characteristic manifestations of the fear of loneliness. A person simply does not feel capable of any significant achievements.
Anxiety
A person gripped by the fear of loneliness worries about literally everything. She is worried about the possible consequences of certain actions. Fear is present even in everyday activities, because there is always the possibility of doing something wrong. Anxiety does not allow you to set serious goals and strive to achieve them. On the contrary, it isolates one from people and contributes to the development of isolation and mistrust. As a result, it turns out that the more anxious a person is, the further away he is emotionally from those around him. As a result, misunderstanding, alienation and despair grow.
Dependence on others
Fear of loneliness forces a person to constantly seek help and support from loved ones, relatives and friends. Such people are confident in their own inability to somehow influence the situation. They are afraid to make decisions and take responsibility. Addiction is primarily about emotions. This is how the fear of not being up to par manifests itself. Gradually, a person becomes more and more convinced of his own weakness and inadequacy. Before making a decision, he will consult with others for several hours and worry about a possible mistake.
Fear in women
In women, the fear of loneliness is associated primarily with a feeling of uselessness. They subconsciously expect disappointment from partnerships and do not believe in the very prospect of finding their happiness. Women gradually develop the belief that no one needs them. In fact, they simply did not find enough strength and patience in themselves to properly work on themselves. The fear of loneliness in women occupies a leading position among other experiences. It is so important for the fair sex to feel needed and loved.
Psychologist's advice
If you think that you can cope with the fear of loneliness on your own, simple advice from psychologists can help you:
- Work on realizing that being alone is a variant of the norm, it’s natural. It is not always possible or necessary to communicate with someone. Solitude and “self-employment” are as much a part of life as contacts with society.
- Learn to switch from painful thoughts to useful household chores, find yourself a hobby, an exciting job.
- Lead a healthy lifestyle, maintain a work-rest schedule, walk more often, play sports and give up bad habits.
- Thanks to the Internet, today people find friends in all corners of the world. Take advantage of these opportunities! Constantly learn to communicate, make new friends, look for new interesting acquaintances.
- Get a pet. It is not for nothing that dogs and cats have lived next to people for many centuries - they are faithful friends who give love and attention to their owners.
- Don't get stuck in a routine. Attend interesting events, go to the cinema, cafes, exhibitions, concerts, theaters. New experiences are necessary for every person and make life richer and more colorful.
Psychologist Nikolai Nikitenko tells more about ways to overcome monophobia (fear of loneliness).
If your anxiety still does not go away, and the fear of loneliness becomes more and more strong and intrusive, do not put off visiting a doctor. Remember that a phobia will not go away on its own without proper treatment. And any obsessive fear greatly impoverishes a person’s life, depriving him of many joys and a sense of harmony.
Reasons for fear of loneliness
The feeling of fear does not come out of nowhere. It is necessarily conditioned by something, it has its own reasons. What are they?
Inability to trust
If a person is excessively suspicious, then it will be much more difficult for her to learn to build partnerships, and fear of relationships arises. The inability to trust greatly affects the perception of the surrounding reality and people around. Fear appears when there is a possibility of once again encountering disappointment or any other unpleasant situation. A person overwhelmed by negative feelings cannot feel truly happy and prosperous. It constantly seems to him that only troubles await him ahead.
Psychological trauma
Fear often appears as a result of psychological trauma. And it doesn’t matter how strongly it is expressed. The main thing, perhaps, is that the individual’s belief system changes. There is an expectation of the worst case scenario. If an individual does not know how to get rid of this oppressive state, then he may feel that no one can help him. This creates a wall of alienation that prevents you from looking at the situation from the outside. The presence of psychological trauma can leave despair and emptiness in the soul for a long time.
Risk group
Fear of loneliness can become an undesirable companion in the life of any of us, due to character traits and life circumstances, but more often autophobia is found among residents of large cities and megalopolises. This is facilitated by the rapid change of events, fast-paced lifestyle, constant employment and an acute sense of lack of time. A characteristic feature of those suffering from autophobia is the inability to be alone, the need for the constant presence of a loved one nearby. If such a close person is lost for various reasons, there is a need to replace him, to find another companion. Such manifestations of autophobia negatively affect personal life and interpersonal relationships.
In psychology, there are often analogies between a person suffering from autophobia and an iceberg. The visible part is the absence of close people nearby, loneliness, the hidden part is the way of thinking, value priorities, character and level of self-esteem.
The problem is complicated by the stereotypes imposed by society that a successful and normal person should have many relatives and friends, and loneliness is an indicator of inferiority and depravity. These are unfounded stereotypes, everyone has their own individuality and personal preferences, but when alone, a person is overcome by hidden anxieties and fears. You can get rid of them in society, among other people.
How to get rid of the fear of loneliness
Such a problem, when it occurs, necessarily has a negative impact on all areas of life. The emotional component suffers, relationships with people undergo changes, and the ability to understand oneself and one’s desires is lost. How to get rid of this problem? Let's try to figure it out.
Don't isolate yourself
This is the worst thing that can be done in a state where there are strong emotional experiences. Excessive focus on the problem prevents you from seeing its origins and identifying worthy ways out of your personal mental crisis. Being isolated in your feelings can lead to irreparable consequences, making a person unsociable and extremely distrustful. The sooner an individual realizes that one cannot delve too deeply into one’s own experiences, the better it will be. You need to try to communicate more, spend time in pleasant company, in nature or reading an interesting book.
Restrict Internet
Being overloaded with information that is in the public domain today can really be harmful. You should not get carried away by visiting sites with aggressive themes or reading articles that cause sadness and melancholy. There is such a pattern: the more time a person spends online, the more socially limited he feels. The constant presence of a lonely person on social networks contributes to an even greater awareness of their loneliness. Why is this happening? The fact is that on their pages people post mainly the most successful photographs and report on their achievements and victories. As a result, such an individual gets the impression that everyone around him is happy except him. Of course, this is far from true. The Internet simply masks existing problems. No one will post evidence of their own insolvency, anxiety and bitterness online.
Communication with like-minded people
Interacting with like-minded people is incredibly inspiring and makes you feel useful and unique. Close communication will help build a sense of self-confidence. Then you will no longer be lonely. You should always remember that there is a way out of any situation. There is no need to attribute to yourself a state of hopelessness without even trying to change anything.
Thus, the fear of loneliness greatly influences a person’s perception of the world. To free yourself from this depressing state, you need to work on yourself correctly. The most important thing is to set a goal and work towards achieving it, even in small steps. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, then you can seek help from the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center. Working with a specialist can help you understand all the difficulties that have caused discord in the mental organization of the individual. The psychologist’s activities are aimed at restoring the client’s internal balance and building ways to overcome despair.
Treatment of autophobia
At its core, autophobia is not a complex disease and can be easily eliminated. Common methods of dealing with this condition are personal and group therapy. In case of acute symptoms, courses of sedatives are prescribed. Cognitive behavioral therapy has proven itself to be excellent in identifying the causes of anxiety and triggers in the patient’s life. After diagnosis, the use of relaxation techniques with the inclusion of logical thinking techniques begins.
When the patient masters the basic level that controls the state of fear, the doctor creates deliberate stimulation through the creation of conditions of real loneliness so that the patient can assess his ability to overcome attacks of anxiety and panic. Treatment proceeds gradually, until the moment comes when the patient can objectively overcome his fear. Such therapy takes approximately a year, but the result is victory over your fears and gaining a sense of confidence.
Video on the topic: How to overcome the fear of loneliness and find harmony
Convinced bachelors
When constructing an impromptu classification of male loneliness, it is impossible to bypass this, albeit small, category. There is, after all, such a character type. They are completely consciously lonely, they really don’t need anyone, and they have everything figured out, including the classic question of who will give them a glass of water in old age. They save for old age and insure it in every possible way. Don't worry about who will serve them this glass.
Many of them tried more than once to live a family life or a semblance of a family life, and each time loneliness turned out to be the lesser evil for them. And they, as a rule, are not biryuks at all. On the contrary, they are often sociable and charming people, the life of the party. But they are lonely by nature.
This is such a special kind of “people”. There are very few of them, just a few, but they still occur.
Those who started with
By calling this type a klutz, I, of course, sinned against psychological truth. But since this text is not a scientific article, I can take some liberties.
In fact, he is a soft, insecure person, usually dependent on his mother, and less often on his father. Excessively cared for by parents, therefore not independent and, to hide it, not attracting the attention of persons of the opposite sex.
A completely recognizable category, including in Hollywood film production, both in male and female variations.
However, unlike uplifting film stories, in real life such boys rarely get married, at least until the death of their parents, while girls remain old maids.
And, of course, only his unexpectedly enlightened mother can bring such a lonely man to a psychologist. Which, unfortunately, doesn't happen often.
