Is virtual love through correspondence possible online?

Is it possible to fall in love on the Internet?

You correspond with a person every day, receive compliments and sweet speeches , it seems that you have a lot of common topics, the same views, the interlocutor is sweet and charming.

A feeling is born . This is not love, but rather sympathy, infatuation. You are drawn to a fictitious image rather than to a real person about whom little is actually known.

The ideal picture is a figment of the imagination. After meeting in the real world, fantasies may dissipate, the person will turn out to be less attractive, and the feelings will go away.

In the event of a more favorable development of events, if there is confirmation of pleasant impressions, communication will continue. And in this case, the birth of love is possible.

If you or your interlocutor refuse to transfer acquaintance from the virtual world to the real one, preferring to enjoy illusions, perhaps not everything is going smoothly in your life at the moment, there is a feeling of dissatisfaction.

Dating via the Internet. How to understand the seriousness of a relationship? Expert opinion:

Litmus test of inner wealth

Written speech in its structure is the most detailed and syntactically correct. It is addressed not to listeners, but to readers who are unable to grasp its meaning through intonation and other non-verbal channels of perception.

In order to influence the addressee, written speech requires the most complete disclosure of all significant connections of the thoughts, emotions and feelings it expresses. Therefore, to some extent, written communication requires a person to have greater internal culture, greater concentration on the addressee, and more work. Not to mention basic literacy.

Letters are a litmus test of a person’s internal content and cultural baggage. If in ordinary communication the lack of depth, culture and education can be softened or compensated for by charm and special intonations, then in a novel in letters you do not have this advantage - a piece of paper “speaks” for you.

And he can tell either a deep and piercing story of life and its understanding, suffering and hope to find a way out of it, whisper about tenderness and true love, or become a set of insignificant phrases with spelling errors.

Prerequisites for the development of feelings

What were the preconditions for the feeling to arise? Perhaps it:

1. Disappointment . Online affairs are a common consequence of disappointment in real relationships. After a breakup, a person is not ready for a new serious relationship for some time. The soul is not yet sick, the past has not been forgotten. Correspondence allows you to cheer up, feel needed, and at the same time gives a feeling of protected personal space where you don’t have to let your interlocutor in. When there is discord in family life, virtual flirting helps to get the emotions missing in life, add bright colors to life, while some manage to save the family.
2. Personal characteristics .
   Lack of self-confidence, complexes about appearance, physical disabilities, fear of being ridiculed and rejected interfere with dating in the real world. There are people who are closed by nature. The Internet provides an opportunity to meet shy people, homebodies and introverts who do not know how to start live communication, who do not like and do not know how to meet people in real life. In online love, it all starts with conversations, expressing thoughts, finding out common interests and similar worldviews. Appearance and social status are relegated to the background.
3. The desire to gain recognition . To be liked, to hear approval addressed to you, to receive a positive assessment of your activities is pleasant. If these steps come from a stranger and are repeated many times, it fascinates and excites. New acquaintances attract because they give a new portion of admiration. They get carried away by a person, wanting to receive even more attention and interest in their personality, and then they are not far from falling in love.

Relationships or the illusion of relationships? The main problems in online relationships:

How to improve a relationship with a guy at a distance? Advice from psychologists will help you!

Online flirting with a man by correspondence - Top phrases

Flirting is the art of evoking emotions in a person

To become a true master of flirting, you need to learn how to manage a man’s emotional state. This is what we will learn in this article. Let's start with the basics!

The first rule of successful online flirting is avoiding templates

Banal and boring SMS do not evoke any emotions. "Hi, how are you?" "Hi what are you doing?" — These are examples of template messages that do not bring you closer to a man.

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Second rule - Correspondence should evoke emotions (Any)

Game of desire in Truth or Dare

A person has 6 basic emotions (Joy, surprise, anger, disgust, sadness, fear)

Evoking any emotions is good for flirting, but it’s bad when a person doesn’t experience anything when communicating with you! The easiest way is to evoke negative emotions in a person, but you need to be careful with them and not overdo it. Learning to manage people's negativity is an art.

Unpleasant Fact: Historically, people react more strongly to negativity.

Examples of messages that evoke emotions:

“I know something about you” causes surprise, and in some cases, fear

“I had a better opinion of you” - causes anger or disgust, and maybe sadness

“I liked one thing about you” - intrigue + joy

When flirting, you take a person on a carousel of emotions, and he remembers you. But everything needs to be done correctly and consistently. Let's start from the very beginning, namely from the first message stage.

I also recommend reading: What can you ask a guy via text - TOP 25 catchy questions (Opens in a new tab)

What attracts you in correspondence with the opposite sex?

Pros of virtual relationships:

• proximity effect. You can share secrets with your interlocutor, tell personal stories, and spill out what you don’t want to tell your loved ones. In response, you can get a response to your feelings, or silence and misunderstanding. You need to be prepared for this.
• complete freedom of expression of thoughts, absence of fears and boundaries. Without blushing, you can write on any topic, debate, discuss any issues, and not be shy about anything.
• no need to worry about your appearance, bad hairstyle or unironed suit. The interlocutor does not see you.
• distance doesn't matter. You can communicate with a person from the other side of the planet. If the language barrier allows. And feel like the closest people with him.
• the right to choose. It's up to you to decide with whom to communicate and with whom to take a break in the relationship.
  You can simply block a boring or unpleasant interlocutor. In real life, this is more difficult - it is not always convenient and polite to tell the truth to your face.
• availability of time . On the Internet you don’t need to react instantly. You always have time to come up with an original answer to a question, think about what and how to write correctly in order to interest a person of the opposite sex, emphasize your strengths and hide your shortcomings.
• the opportunity to experience very real emotions . You may be overwhelmed by joy, sadness, tenderness, admiration, jealousy. It's all for real.

Final thoughts

Admit that such letters could greatly decorate and enrich your life. So what’s stopping you from writing a love letter to a loved one, even if you’ve lived with him for 45 years and just this morning you were drinking tea together in the kitchen and complaining to each other about insomnia and pain?

Love has many languages, many ways of expression, including such a unique way - verbal. Through the written word, without physical contact, without touching or kissing.

Now is the time to master this language perfectly so as not to put your loved one in danger. And let your love letters touch the heart of your loved one! The soul will understand, tremble and reciprocate!

Cons of Online Relationships

Disadvantages of online relationships:

1. You have very little information about your interlocutor . Everything that is available is taken from his words. The relationship is based on faith in what he says and how he describes himself. On the Internet, everyone shows only what they want. A correspondence lover will not show his negative qualities and character traits. And during face-to-face communication, all this will definitely appear. Your hero may not want a serious relationship, but openly lie, asserting himself at your expense. But in relationships on the Internet, everything is built on unconditional trust.
2. In correspondence, people often offer fictitious information about themselves , embellish, endow themselves with non-existent advantages, and invent unrealistic details of their lives.
   This is especially true for interlocutors with low self-esteem: on the Internet you can be strong, beautiful, successful, without considering yourself such in reality. Sometimes in reality the partner may be of a different age, and even gender. On the Internet it is easy to be someone you are not. No one will notice the change.
3. You independently invent the character traits of your interlocutor , attribute non-existent qualities to him and create an unrealistic image. By idealizing your hero, making your chosen one the very best, in a real meeting you can be very disappointed.
4. Vast distances may separate you. And if you suddenly decide to transfer your love to the real plane, it will be difficult to do.
5. Psychological dependence may occur . You are constantly drawn to the computer, there is no time left for walks, hobbies, or live communication. If at a certain moment the interlocutor does not get in touch, it is difficult for you to cope with his absence.
6. Correspondence relationships are illusory ; in real life, partners remain lonely, or live not with the objects of their ardent feelings, but with completely different people.
7. Virtual love can be dangerous. There are mentally unstable and anxious people online.
   If you do agree on a first date with a guy on the Internet, be sure to arrange it in a public place.

Social network addiction, virtual love, internet addiction, psychotherapy:

What can you do to fuel a long-distance relationship?

Try to diversify your communication: not only talk about your news, but also share interesting finds, films, music.
You can start reading one book together and discuss its characters while reading. Also try calling and watching a movie together. Of course, there will be no hugs in the last row of the cinema, but you will be able to comment on the events in the film, joke and laugh together. But don't get carried away by the charm of the image behind which another person may stand, don't lose touch with your real friends. Take steps to get closer and try to take communication offline to get to know the person better. If you can eventually be there, then try to bring this moment as soon as possible.

Prospects

Having fallen in love by correspondence, people want to meet in reality and live a long and happy life together. This is where disappointment overtakes many.

1. Sometimes a talkative, sociable interlocutor disappears after an offer to meet .
   He is busy all the time, there are many important things to do, there is a rush at work, family circumstances urgently require him to move to another city. Most likely, your hero has reasons to leave the relationship purely virtual, so as not to turn from an ideal into a completely less than ideal person. Or he already has a very real relationship with someone other than you. In any case, the persistent reluctance to meet and excuses should be alarming.
2. Once the meeting has taken place, sometimes not everything goes smoothly. A person can be the complete opposite of the created image. You will have nothing to talk about. The relationship ends, you are overwhelmed with a feeling of resentment and injustice.

Most close correspondence relationships end overnight after the first real meeting. Sobering up is a common outcome of the first dates of virtual lovers.

Cases when online correspondence develops into true love, ending in a wedding and the creation of a happy family , happen less frequently. They are possible if you know how to behave correctly and how to communicate if you want to continue the relationship.

Myths and tragedies of virtual love:

Is it possible to feel a person from a distance? Find out about this from our article.

Romantic correspondence “according to all the rules”: how to make a guy fall in love with you?

Developing relationships by correspondence has a number of undeniable advantages and is very suitable for those who, during real communication, are constrained, shy and do not know how to express their feelings in words. The interlocutors have the opportunity to show themselves in the best light, conducting a dialogue without awkward pauses and anxiety that prevents them from formulating a thought.

But in order to achieve mutual sympathy and harmonious development of relationships, several important rules should be followed:

1. We refuse platitudes . All kinds of “smacks” have become so boring that they have the exact opposite effect to the expected one and give the correspondence a rather silly tone. Select and find words that the guy would associate exclusively with you.
2. We don't criticize ourselves . Even if you are a complete “lump of complexes,” the guy doesn’t need to know about it. On the contrary, at the moment of making a new acquaintance, a unique opportunity arises to overcome them and present yourself in the most favorable light. Of course, this does not mean that you need to blatantly lie, posing as a “busty blonde with legs from ear to ear” - sooner or later the deception will be revealed, which certainly will not add advantages to you. It’s just not worth it to talk about your hump on your nose, extra pounds and thin, sparse hair.
3. Let's not bring up the past . The topic of “ex” in correspondence with a guy is one of the main taboos. There is no need to cry and throw mud at your ex-boyfriend or ask your interlocutor about past relationships. If a guy asks about this himself or talks about himself, you should gently stop the flow of revelations with the phrase that now it no longer matters. What happened is gone.
4. We call you by name . By pronouncing (in this case, displaying) a person’s name, we become closer to him. That’s why you shouldn’t create a “zoo” and try to come up with diminutive nicknames. Name. Just a name.
5. Adding intrigue . Correspondence on everyday topics will soon become boring. The same thing can happen if you send a guy a piece of your “autobiography” in every detail every day. Wait until the interlocutor himself begins to be interested in your life and ask questions that need to be answered with a touch of slight intrigue and understatement. Then the guy will look forward to the continuation, and not be horrified at the sight of another “footcloth” of the text.
6. Let's take a break . Even if you don’t let go of your phone or leave your computer while waiting for a message, you should absolutely not answer it two seconds after reading it. Also, you don’t need to bombard your interlocutor with dozens of SMS messages if he suddenly “goes silent.” All men are hunters, and the Internet is no exception. To whet the guy's interest and make him miss you, take a pause.
7. Let's talk about him . If you want a guy to consider you an ideal conversationalist, talk about him. Ask questions about his life, hobbies, work, interests. Admire achievements, success, sense of humor, excellent physical shape, etc.
8. We “get him hooked” on correspondence . It is important that the young person gets used to starting and ending the day with your message. After a while, you can deliberately break the “schedule” to make him worry a little and understand how important and familiar your sweet messages are to him.

Advice from psychologists on how to communicate

Psychologists recommend adhering to the following rules:

• be yourself. There is no need to invent non-existent hobbies for yourself, lie about your social status, or attribute the achievements of others. If you want to meet the object of your feelings, the lie will definitely be revealed. This will put you in an awkward situation. And who would want to start a serious relationship with deception;
• talk about more than just yourself. Be more interested in your interlocutor, ask questions. Look for topics that interest both of you. You don’t really want to continue communicating with self-obsessed individuals;
• communicate politely and reservedly. Try not to make mistakes when writing. Vulgarity and illiteracy are a deterrent;
• use your sense of humor . Funny jokes and the ability to laugh will defuse the situation in case of awkward silence and enliven correspondence;
• be sincere, no need to play a role and pretend. Do not dump your problems on your interlocutor, avoid complaining about life and fate;
• Be careful, there are a lot of strange people, swindlers and scammers on the Internet. Don't mindlessly give out your personal information and phone number. Try to get to know your interlocutor better first;
• Don't get hung up on love correspondence. Real acquaintance will take the relationship to a new level.
  The faster it happens, the less you will have time to think about each other. Don’t delay, if you feel that you have found a congenial person who can change your life, invite him on a date.

He is silent. Should I write first?

There can be a lot of reasons why a guy suddenly stops writing: an urgent departure, health problems, loss of interest, resentment, or a passion for a new passion in real life.
Or in a similar way the guy is trying to attract attention to himself. Be that as it may, being lost in conjecture is the last thing you can do. In such a situation, psychologists recommend not to support the “game of silence”, but to easily and unobtrusively take the first step. To find the right words, you need:

1. Remember your last correspondence (maybe even re-read it). It is likely that the young man misinterpreted some statement and was simply offended.
2. If you have mutual friends on social networks, find out what is going on in his life. The guy may have problems or, on the contrary, a new love.
3. Write a message in a calm tone (without reproaches or hysteria) and wait , without sending a dozen more similar messages in pursuit.
4. After 5-7 days, you can send a “control” message (again, without strong emotional overtones) , and if even after this there is no response, delete his contacts with a light heart.

If a guy doesn’t respond for more than seven days, but you know for sure that everything is fine with him, most likely he has lost interest in your relationship.

Often guys are afraid of offending a girl and even when a new relationship arises they simply withdraw, not considering it necessary to explain themselves. In this case, it is better to leave the guy alone and start looking for new interesting acquaintances.

What words to write to a girl you know

On the one hand, it is easier to establish communication with a girl you know - because you already know each other and can guess what she likes and how best to communicate with her. On the other hand, it’s more difficult, because she has already formed an opinion about you and is guided mainly by it, and not by emotions. You need to think about how to start a conversation with a girl. Knowing your weaknesses, she dismisses you as a potential partner in advance. Changing this opinion and creating feelings can be difficult. The main task in this case is to express your own intentions and show yourself as a young man, and not a friend. And the best tool for this is flirting. It should be light, unambiguous, but not vulgar.

Here are ten examples:

• “Yesterday you looked so stunning that all my phrases for tackles simply flew out of my head.”
• “It’s a pity that you left so early - you didn’t have time to stop admiring it.”
• “How about coffee tomorrow night? I haven’t heard your laughter for a long time, I’ve already missed you.”
• “I’ve heard so many good things about your Labrador—can’t wait to meet him!”
• “The pencil skirt you wore recently opened my eyes to the beauty of your legs.”
• “Without makeup, your eyes are even brighter and more expressive—a rare trait!”
• “I’m ready to talk to you for hours, but work doesn’t wait. Shall we continue in the evening?
• “Your sense of style is great. Can you give me some tips on how to organize a wardrobe?”
• “They say that Coffeemania has excellent mocha, but I’ve heard where they make it the coolest. Shall we check it together?
• “Don’t you have a few mountains to move? Because you inspire me to do great things, and I need to do something with all this energy."

Use emoticons and emoji in your communication to make your correspondence brighter and more expressive, but don’t communicate exclusively with them. Send pictures, gifs, videos and music so that the correspondence is not boring and monotonous and there are more topics for discussion.

What to write to a girl who doesn't know you

The question of how to start a correspondence seems to be one of the most difficult when starting to communicate with a girl. The important point is not to scare her, to sound confident enough, but harmless. The stranger will continue communication only if she feels safe and interested. Based on this, you need to practice creativity. But fortunately, there is a formula for the perfect first message that she will definitely respond to.

I’ll tell you what nice words to start a correspondence with:

• “I feel the vibes of your charm even through the Internet and I can’t help it. Let's get acquainted?"
• “There is not a single cat, recipe or vanilla phrase in your profile. It seems that I have met the ideal. Let's get acquainted? :)"
• “I made a bet with my friends that I could find the girl of my dreams on the Internet and meet her. I completed the first part of the plan, but I need your help with the second to win. Shall we meet?
• “Let’s shame those who are still convinced that online dating is stupid”
• “You wrote that you like chocolate coffee. I can’t convey the feeling of it on the Internet - can I still treat you to it in real life?”
• “After I saw your account, I definitely can’t consider social networks evil and a hindrance to real life. Let's get acquainted and prove that they complement each other perfectly?
• “I have an important life principle - not to meet people on the Internet. But for your sake I cannot help but break it. You are amazing!
• “I don’t know if there are internet gods, but I’m ready to thank them for seeing your profile.”
• “Girl, you blinded me with the beauty of your photos, and now I can’t see anything. You’ll have to pay for this and let me meet you and treat you to coffee.”
• “The Internet is a great invention. How else would I have known about you if not for him? I suggest celebrating this event by getting to know each other - for example, over a cup of coffee.”

To create the perfect message, you need to combine three components:

• compliment
• joke
• specific proposal

This is exactly the combination that is needed to evoke both understanding and a positive reaction from the girl.

Virtual love and virtual relationships: the attractive power of a mirage

So why does virtual love seem so attractive? The question is quite philosophical...

What, for example, is it that attracts people to drugs? After all, in our enlightened age there are no longer those uninformed about the harm and danger of such dope. However, the prospect of “relaxing”, resting and forgetting about problems for a while is too tempting, and after a couple of months the need for a dose already drowns out all other aspirations and instincts.

Virtual love becomes such “emotional cocaine” for fans of the World Wide Web.

Initially, love over the Internet looks very tempting: you don’t have to adapt to another person, break some of your principles and habits, constantly sacrifice something... Such long-distance relationships - without responsibility and obligations - are extremely convenient: a person seems to be free, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel lonely (after all, someone will say a kind word, listen to complaints about life and help pass the evening).

However, such love by correspondence very quickly acquires the status of a need. And when a virtual “half” suddenly disappears (for example, having abandoned a long-distance relationship, a man stopped writing to a girl who is already accustomed to considering him “her boyfriend”) the person experiences severe “emotional withdrawal.”