Happiness in a relationship is a fragile value. Balance requires several components, such as love, prosperity and attention. If something is missing, problems and discontent arise. And if everything is clear with feelings and money, then the manifestation of attention occurs differently for each person. Everyone needs adoration and approval, but what to do when your partner is “thick-skinned” and does not understand what else you want from him, if there is food in the refrigerator, and you are warmly and beautifully dressed?
In this article:
Why lack of attention has a bad effect on relationships Why does he not pay attention to you How to start a conversation correctly and what to say
What are signs of attention?
Signs of attention are considered to be features of people's behavior through which they show interest in each other. They are different for men and women, but both sexes will be interested in their partner's successes or failures. Mutual praise also indicates mutual sympathy and willingness to support.
Women's opinion
Kisses when greeting and goodbye are a significant factor for a girl. Such signs of attention mean to them that the guy is glad to meet you or will be bored. Some men don't like to hug, but for a woman, the desire to cuddle up to her chosen one is a sign of warm feelings. Ladies enjoy receiving flowers. You need to give those that they like. The following actions are also considered to show attention to a girl:
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- a note or message on a social network;
- breakfast in bed;
- brewing tea or coffee;
- invitation to go for a walk;
- a gift in the form of a chocolate bar or a small souvenir.
Girls really like it when their boyfriends notice changes in them and compliment them on their makeup, haircut, manicure, or new dress. They try to look good, and this is appreciated and praised by their gentlemen. The woman will be grateful for help in the kitchen. If she prepared a wonderful dinner after spending a lot of time, you can help her wash the dishes. A young lady is pleased when a man helps her take off or put on clothes, opens the door for her, and pulls out a chair.
What do men think about it?
Men love attention just as much as women. It is on the outside that they look stern and cold, but on the inside they long to be praised, appreciated, and not to take their eyes off them. They want a woman to prepare a set meal, culinary masterpieces, satisfy any sexual fantasy, keep the house perfectly clean, and look neat. This behavior is attention to the partner.
In addition to this, there are several other gestures that indicate a man’s interest: ladies usually bat their eyelashes, lick their lips, and touch their hair. At the same time, they turn their face and entire body towards the chosen one. This means they are ready for contact.
Reasons for lack of attention from a guy
If a man stops giving time and attention to a girl, the first thing she thinks is that he has found a replacement for her. However, there can be many reasons: fatigue, problems at work, workload. Instead of causing a scandal, it is necessary to reconsider the possible reasons, both objective and far-fetched.
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Objective
Objective reasons why the guy became cold include:
- very long-term relationship;
- the emergence of new hobbies and values;
- behavior change;
- fading of feelings;
- big requests.
Couples who were once in love are faced with a situation where the love spark is lost. Most often this happens to spouses, since monotonous days with routine work and household chores lead to despondency. Constant fatigue makes life together boring. The problem will be solved by distributing responsibilities between family members, going out into nature or other types of recreation.
When a person develops new interests, he dives headlong into exploring them. For example, a partner went to study, got a new job, started a business, downloaded a new computer game. All his attention is focused on his hobby, and not on the lady. In this case, you just need to wait. A little time will pass, he will get tired of the game, he will get used to work, learn to manage time and will again be able to pay attention to his partner.
During the candy-bouquet period, people show their best side, reveal their positive sides, hide their negative ones. Over time, the girl will make some indecent gesture that the guy will not like. This will ruin his opinion of her.
The most unpleasant reason why a guy does not pay attention to a girl is the fading of love and the appearance of another woman. This situation is difficult to correct.
Far-fetched
The far-fetched reasons why the guy began to pay less attention to the girl are due to temporary circumstances. These include:
- self-hypnosis;
- depression;
- fatigue.
A girl can convince herself that a guy is not paying attention to her. Before drawing any conclusions, the problem is discussed with the man: you need to find out what worries him and talk about your concerns. But you can’t bother with questions, you need to strive to do without a scandal. If the guy is not in a good mood, it is better to reschedule the conversation.
When a gentleman faces difficult moments in life, for example, a car breaks down, a boss scolds him, clients are lost, friends are jealous, he may become depressed. It's rare that a man admits this. A woman should help him, and not demand attention. He needs support.
Again, if not depression, then the gentleman may become mentally exhausted. It was a hard day at work, he needed to rest. A girl demanding attention to her only makes the situation worse. If she gives him a couple of hours to rest, it will help avoid problems.
Female look
If a girl doesn’t have enough attention in a relationship, women’s logic will play a cruel joke: fantasies will come that the guy is cheating and that’s why he’s cold.
Some ladies believe that they have become uninteresting due to an unsuccessful image change. And romantic natures are sure that if the gentleman makes a sad grimace, you can forget about the prospect of a romance: the man does not want to build a serious relationship.
Hysterical ladies believe: if a gentleman, because of his busy schedule, does not want to devote an hour or two to his sweetheart, then he puts his male plans above female desires. Ladies constantly remind you of themselves, call, send SMS, and harass you with scandals. This option necessarily leads to a break, because no psyche can withstand powerful pressure.
How to act
Girls think about what to do and how to behave if a guy pays too little attention. First, you should assess the situation, think about why the gentleman is moving away, whether stress or health problems are to blame. Some ladies blame themselves, believing that they did something wrong. You should stop projecting onto yourself.
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Showdowns and scandals will make the situation even more difficult. Hasty conclusions will worsen the situation. It’s better to take a few deep breaths and exhales, calm down, so as not to explode from emotions. A calm and honest conversation about feelings will help solve the problem. You should ask your gentleman, maybe he wants to talk about what worries him, tell him about his desire to spend more time together.
When trying to maintain a relationship, both partners should be frank with each other. You need to talk about your feelings, trust. If a man is aggressive, it means he is not ready for discussion. It will be better if you reschedule the conversation for another time, when he is ready.
A woman should pay attention to her partner and talk about her feelings. The technique works effectively when you stop doing what you were doing before. If a woman always washed her gentleman’s shirts, now she needs to give up this business. You can skip the cooking day and give yourself a day off. The guy will immediately notice the changes. Initially there will be tension in the relationship. But the partner must understand that the other half’s time also needs to be valued. If he doesn’t notice her, doesn’t compliment her, then he will also remain unnoticed.
If you want to teach a lesson
You can teach a guy a lesson not only by leaving him without dinner, but also in other ways. For example, stop calling and texting for a while. Let it dawn on him that the girl copes with all matters on her own. You can go to a cafe or dance with friends without it. Let him be jealous. The main thing is not to overplay.
Deleting shared photos on social networks will also make him think and pay attention to his partner. To his question why she did this, the answer should be that it happened by accident. He will be afraid that she will leave him, become active, proactive, and want to conquer her again. Only here, too, must be observed.
If you need to get a man's attention back
If a man does not pay enough attention to a woman, you can try some methods to attract him. Many girls are immersed in caring for their gentleman. They devote all their time to him, depriving themselves of personal space. Ladies forget about their interests and hobbies. It's time to remember about them and take up your hobby, because unnecessary attention also repels guys.
Over time, men begin to feel that they already know everything about their other halves. You should keep the mystery inside yourself so that your partner doesn’t want to read the girl, but to solve it. Common interests will also help you get closer. For this purpose, choose a common gym, a swimming pool, a park for jogging, a movie, even cleaning the house and cooking dinner together.
Frank conversations about problems, experiences or successes help to better understand and get to know each other. At such moments, you need to treat your partner with respect, not raise your voice at him, and watch your words. Gratitude for the help and sincere joy caused by the achievements of a girl or guy brings people together.
When there is no point in fighting for a relationship
Sometimes there is no point in wasting energy on restoring relationships and attracting attention to yourself. When, at the thought of talking with a partner, panic begins, your palms sweat, the efforts already made seem useless, you need to stop trying and move on.
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If the thought of ending a relationship brings relief, peace, and a feeling of liberation, then the decision to stop trying to attract attention and break up is correct. Sometimes, in a fit of anger, you want to announce a breakup, then you take a walk and are again ready to continue the relationship and attract attention. If after the gym or a walk the decision has not changed, then it is final.
There is no point in fighting for a relationship if a separate existence is easy to imagine. If you thought or tried to live separately, not see each other, this made it easy and free, then you need to give up trying to attract the attention of your partner.
Exercise is the first cure for depression
You can throw out all your unspent energy and depression in sports. And in return get a toned figure, strong immunity and a feeling of deep satisfaction.
Where, if not in the gym or in a yoga class, can you look at your feelings and experiences with different eyes?
And after evaluating the results of your training, you will strengthen your faith in yourself and your potential.
Psychologist's advice
The psychology of men is such that it’s not that they pay little attention, they just hide it. Women are more emotional, while guys are more reserved. If a partner rarely pays attention or shows it less exquisitely, this does not mean that he does not love. Guys find it difficult to express feelings in words.
Relationships will normalize if you don’t get hung up on sex and emotions. Guys also need care and support. If they insist that nothing worries them, there are no problems, it is better not to insist on making them public. It’s better to distance yourself; over time, the man will tell you everything himself. Every person makes mistakes. Patience and mutual understanding will help maintain a warm relationship.
It is difficult for some girls to realize that the reason for the decrease in attention to them lies in themselves. Their whims, tearfulness, selfishness, jealousy, excessive demands and disrespect for the interests of guys cause rejection and hostility in the opposite sex. Men's attraction to partners decreases. If both accept each other's interests and find common ones, then this will bring them closer.
Relationships collapse due to the adherence to principles and categoricalness of partners. When they refuse to make concessions, the desire to care for a loved one disappears. If you analyze the relationship, you can notice how many scandals there were, how much time the guy was around. With a lot of quarrels, he could get tired and withdraw into himself. You can get him back if you reconsider your attitude and reduce the number of claims and scandals. Of course, appearance is also a strong indicator of attention. A man loves and wants to see a well-groomed companion in front of him.
The girl thinks that since the guy pays little attention to me, it means he has found another passion. However, this is far from the only reason for his indifference. If you want to be together, you both need to work on yourself. But when efforts do not help fight, they should be saved for starting a new life.
Features of family relationships
A stable family is a complex process that requires attention, understanding, concessions, and compromises. Sometimes temporary difficulties arise in a couple when the spouses do not understand each other, do not see the obvious, and spoil the relationship on their own. There are situations when girls complain to a psychologist and say, my husband doesn’t pay enough attention to me. What to do in such a situation? First of all, you need to figure out why such misunderstandings arise and what provoked the deterioration of the condition.
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Family relationships take a long time to build, but quickly collapse. To return the polite, understanding attitude of one of the spouses, you will also have to try. You should not assume that it is enough to buy lace lingerie, spend a rich, varied night with your husband, and the relationship will be improved. If the husband has stopped paying the necessary attention, is late at work, has changed his behavior, then he has reasons for this.
You need to deal with the reasons, but you shouldn’t do this every day, forcing your husband to have serious conversations. Believe me, in this situation you can only provoke worsening circumstances. From time to time, bring him into this conversation, come from afar. You shouldn’t put pressure, because male psychology is very different from female psychology, and it can be very difficult to understand.
