Every couple goes through certain stages in their relationship. At the beginning, everything is romantic, passionate, fun and easy, but there comes a moment when it becomes crowded and not as interesting as before, and sometimes simply unbearable. How can you find out where your relationship is heading and what True love is?!
Such a deep feeling as True Love is not easy to build, but by successfully and patiently overcoming the difficulties of each stage, it becomes possible. Do you want to know exactly what stage your couple's relationship is at? Then read on.
Stages of relationships between a man and a woman by time, months, years
Stage of falling in love
Lasts from one year to eighteen months. It is to this period of time that poets devote poems, and musicians and composers - songs and music. The brains of people in love release hormones that are responsible for the onset of euphoria and the achievement of pleasure. Negative emotions are completely blocked, rational thinking “falls asleep.” Don't give in completely to this stage to prolong the life of your rose-colored glasses.
Saturation stage
Lasts from several months to a year. A couple in love, starting to live together, gradually notice more and more new shortcomings in each other. Romance disappears, but the strongest love connection is formed, to maintain which it is enough to simply be near your loved one.
Rejection stage
Its duration is individual for each couple. And it comes when a person begins to doubt that he has chosen the right life partner. People have several paths at this stage. The first is adequate human perception. The second is the constant desire to remake and change a loved one. A lot of relationship breakdowns occur at this stage. To prevent separation from happening, you need to persevere through this difficult time.
Stage of patience (understanding)
Can last up to three years. Relationships become more mundane and less interesting. Many people have children, and the woman devotes herself entirely to them, leaving her husband a little aside. Problems that are solved at this stage: the fight against selfishness, elimination of quarrels and scandals through reconciliation, complete acceptance of each other's imperfections.
Stage of service (fulfillment of duty)
None of the psychologists have yet determined exactly how long it lasts. One thing is certain: this stage brings people closer to love. Lovers often do something nice for each other without expecting reciprocity. Your “other half” will definitely have a spontaneous desire to respond, for example, with a surprise for a surprise. In many eastern countries it is still believed that love is not born just like that, that it must be earned.
Stage of respect and friendship
Its maximum duration is two and a half years. A man and a woman try to quarrel less and less, so as not to accidentally lose a loved one. They trust each other in everything and provide support. The previous stage presented them with many challenges. They passed them. This means that their love union is taking place.
True love stage
Love is a reward that everyone must deserve. Love is a medal awarded by fate itself to selected couples. This feeling is beautifully written in the Bible: “Love always endures and is merciful. The feeling of love does not envy anyone. Love is not proud and does not boast, does not act outrageously, is not irritated, breaks everything, believes everything, endures everything.” The biblical saying has been slightly changed, but its meaning is completely preserved.
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Periods
The first date does not always turn into a serious relationship. It all depends on the impression that the partners make on each other. At the first meeting, it is not possible to fully “reveal” a person, to find out all the advantages and disadvantages of his character. Many limit themselves to the first date. They put an end to future relationships, leaving an unpleasant impression of themselves.
If a romance between a man and a woman begins to develop, they need to be prepared to go through certain stages of the relationship.
- It all starts with the candy-bouquet period. This is the stage of falling in love, which lasts about a year and a half.
- Next comes the stage of satiety.
- This is followed by a stage of disgust or rejection.
- Then comes a period of tolerance (humility).
- Next comes the service stage.
- The previous period smoothly turns into respect and friendship.
- And it all ends with divine love.
All partners go through the above stages. Some couples reach the final stage of the relationship, acquiring harmony and bliss. Others get stuck on certain sections, unable to overcome the difficulties that arise. More often, lovers break up in the third phase of a relationship.
Stages of strengthening relationships: the desire to be the only one
Subsequently, a stage arises when partners understand that the relationship is already in the process of development and decide not to make other connections. It should be borne in mind that this stage comes immediately after a period of uncertainty and the crisis in the relationship that has just been experienced may give way to new problems - male jealousy.
The most important thing at this time is not to try to take revenge for the grievances of the previous stage, but to try to calm down your chosen one, assuring him that there is no one better than him and cannot be.
Usually strong manifestations of male jealousy indicate that he considers the woman his bride and does not intend to share her with anyone. It is better to try not to give him any reasons for this at all, because such a period can also end unexpectedly if a person decides that their chosen one is not trustworthy.
It is best to show more interest in each other, treat your partner with care, study the characteristics of his character, and try to get used to him.
It is very important to learn to accept your loved one for who he is. It is during this period that he ceases to seem ideal
Instead of an abundance of advantages, the chosen one is suddenly presented with numerous disadvantages. If the relationship goes well, then you can go through this stage without much loss.
At this time, attraction to each other becomes stronger, as people see the vulnerability of their partner. There is a desire to protect him, to take care of him. A sense of responsibility appears. Respect for a person, the ability to reckon with him, and agreement to put up with his differences are formed. But this must be mutual. Otherwise, even if people stay together, one will rule, endlessly reproaching the other for his imperfections.
The fifth stage is the stage of fulfilling duties
It is from this moment that true Love begins to emerge. When a person realizes his duty to his spouse. Having realized, even at the previous stage, the uniqueness of his soulmate, the presence of his own needs, interests and desires, he comes to the understanding that it is necessary to take care of him and fulfill his duties.
Every couple and family is unique. But in general terms, if we are talking about a woman, then she understands the importance of fulfilling women’s responsibilities to her husband in protecting the family hearth - caring for children, maintaining her own attractiveness, cooking, cleanliness in the house, etc. A man comes to understand how important it is to provide his family with everything necessary, to protect him from external problems and adversity, and so on.
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Women's mistakes that hinder the development of relationships
Experts in the field of psychology highlight the main points in a girl’s behavior that can interfere with the formation and development of a harmonious union.
- Artificial behavior.
- A woman's hyperactivity when she wants to speed up the development of a relationship.
- The belief that a man always “owes” her.
- Using jealousy to manipulate a man.
- Building relationships according to the “cliches” written in fashion magazines.
- Excessive talkativeness.
- Demonstration of unceasing love.
- Emotional insatiability, when a woman demands constant expression of feelings from a man.
Start of a relationship
The initial stage of relationship development is search. It is characterized by the selection of necessary qualities in representatives of the opposite sex. The search occurs in a categorical form and people come to lightning-fast conclusions.
They do not give a chance for rapprochement and more time to get to know the person better. The most common decisions look like: “this is my type” or “he (she) is not suitable for me
Instead of paying attention to positive qualities, young people focus on shortcomings and miss the chance to create a harmonious couple
What are the 12 secret words that can quickly make a man fall in love?
What is the secret of these words? Press the button and watch the video to the end.
But a hasty decision does not give a good result. Physiology is responsible for attraction, the rapid development of the union, which is not supported by time, and the euphoria caused by physical attraction does not go through the necessary stages and falls apart with painful sensations.
Why does a guy need a girl: features of gender relations
1.1
How to tie a man to you for life?
What is the candy-bouquet period in a relationship?
1.2
Watch a video:
A fast stage is considered to be a situation when a couple goes from falling in love to marriage. This development of events has its pros and cons:
- An advantage is the unexpected development of relationships. A spark is felt between partners, young people are overcome with strong emotions. They are comfortable and good together, and separation is very difficult. When they are in this state, they come to a hasty decision to get married.
- The downside is quick disappointment in each other and discovered incompatibility, which prevents building long-term relationships. Such a marriage lasts a short time and ends in a stormy showdown and one’s own misunderstanding of one’s own actions.
When a couple is overwhelmed by a strong feeling, one should not make rash decisions and immediately get married
Going through the stages of a relationship is important for a harmonious and strong union. People need to test their feelings over time and be in difficult situations to understand whether they can interact as a couple and support each other
A man younger than a woman: the pros and cons of relationships
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The first stage is severe hunger
This stage is often called falling in love, passion, the candy-bouquet period. This is a very bright, cheerful, eventful period, which is remembered later with such ecstasy, and sometimes with undisguised sadness. There are a lot of emotions in it, bright and hot; life is seething and in full swing: you are more active than ever, and it’s as if you don’t need sleep, rest, food at all... If only there was one dear one nearby.
All meetings and calls are long-awaited; in each other's company the world seems better; The time spent together is always short, no matter how long the date actually lasts. The image of your beloved always pleases your imagination, pleasantly exciting your heart. I want to touch him, hug and kiss him, and for him to always be there...
At this time, the guy can do crazy things, court him gallantly, talk tirelessly, want to be next to you all the time, and no matter where. And a girl, in turn, can stand in front of the mirror for several hours before a date with her beloved, she becomes prettier and kinder, her voice changes, becomes even softer and more tender. Lovers show their best qualities, they strive to appear in the most favorable light, and they really both behave in an exemplary manner. Note that it was at this stage that poets and artists (and other creators) composed works of art for their lovers.
Love.
This period is called the candy-bouquet period. It seems that romance is in the air, the world has stopped, without a person everything loses its meaning. Walking under the moon, crazy actions, passionate kisses - all this takes place in a relationship in the first 18 months.
Helen Fisher, a scientist from Harvard, studied what happens to lovers from a physiological point of view. Using a tomograph, the professor was able to discover: in men and women in the first period, the so-called “love” hormones are actively released. They block the influence of negative emotions and rational thinking. The person seems to be “high” - everything is pink, moths are flying around and pipes are singing.
Amazing fact. The brain of a lover works approximately the same as that of a person who has taken cocaine.
Ardentness and heightened feelings fade away after about a year. But there is no need to be sorry. If the first period was longer, the lovers were hospitalized with a diagnosis of “Nervous and physical exhaustion.”
What happens on a psychological level. The couple discovers each other. It’s as if they have tasted a previously unfamiliar fruit, and now they want to feel its taste again and again. This period is the brightest. Less romantic types of relationships lie ahead.
What to do. The main thing is not to overdo it in an effort to seem perfect. Of course, you can and should demonstrate your strengths. But if you focus on this marathon, you can create a trap. Don't have a special love for cooking? Then it’s better not to demonstrate your culinary skills by studying a book of exotic recipes. The person who is nearby shapes your holistic image. He must be as close to reality as possible. Therefore, the task is to be yourself and give the opportunity to others to do it.
Child Development Stages
Some experts compare the stages in the development of relationships with the periods of growing up of a child. The stages of relationships by month of baby development are as follows.
First phase: symbiosis, in which mother and child are one. Lasts about 5 months. A healthy relationship between mother and child during this period becomes a guarantee of the “correct” behavior of an adult at the stage of falling in love.
Differentiation phase (5-9 months). There is a separation of the child from the mother at the psychological level.
The practice stage occurs between 10 and 16 months of baby's development.
From 17 to 24 months, the period of friendly relations between mother and child begins. This is the most difficult stage. Here the child develops as an individual, but at the same time the emotional attachment to a loved one remains.
Psychologists say that if a person in childhood “correctly” goes through all the stages of his development, then he will be able to build healthy relationships in the future, successfully overcoming all the crises of their development.
Secrets of the 3rd stage of a relationship between a man and a woman
Stage 3: Seven to nine months or more
In a good relationship between a man and a woman, which has developed progressively over time and in the degree of emotional participation, at this stage there is a final recognition of mutual obligations between the partners.
You may decide to live together or begin to discuss the possibility of marriage. If this does not happen, then pressure from one of the partners begins to increase, the relationship may become more tense and even end.
Now it may have become clear to you that you are dating a man who can do absolutely everything right except one thing - making the final decision. Such a man often forces you to decide the fate of your relationship with him.
He can endlessly support an already established relationship between a man and a woman, but refuses to marry or, in some cases, even live with you. If you want more intimacy from him, this inevitably leads to sad consequences. By convincing him for a long time to no avail, you can limit yourself to what has been achieved and doom yourself to suffering in the future.
Given your emotional intimacy in the third stage, the issue of fidelity deserves the most serious discussion, even if the man does not want to fully admit his commitment to you. You have already discussed this issue and now you can rightfully expect fidelity from him, if you have not previously agreed to something different in the relationship between a man and a woman.
However, there is one sticky point at this stage, and if you cannot properly get out of the situation, which I call the “last drink syndrome,” then there is a danger of running away to another woman.
As the wedding approaches, many men suddenly “back off.” They want to evaluate their situation, make sure that they have not made a mistake and can still manage their lives. Very few men share women's enthusiasm for losing themselves completely in love.
If you start to panic about his sudden coldness towards you, not realizing the short-term nature of this state, you may do exactly what you shouldn't do: try to "bridle" him.
During this period of emotional tension in the relationship between a man and a woman, your actions can convince him that he is really losing power over himself. In response, he may do something self-affirming, such as starting an affair with another woman.
If he immediately turns cold when discussing marriage plans, remain calm and instead of lashing out at him, try to understand the situation. Try to reassure him of your desire to see him as an independent person. This way you can avoid the “last bite” syndrome and possible infidelity that destroys so many good relationships between men and women.
The second stage is saturation
Inevitably, a moment of satiety comes in a relationship: you have enjoyed each other’s company and managed to get used to it. At this stage, you can already go somewhere separately (on a visit, to a store, to exhibitions, anywhere); The time spent together no longer flies as quickly as in the first stage of the relationship. You are interested in your loved one, but the feeling of trepidation before each meeting and the burning desire to be close every minute is gone.
This stage is also called the stage of equal relationships. Everything is going smoothly, quietly, peacefully. You feel good together, calm and comfortable. You are interested in each other’s company, but you no longer have the former feeling of “hunger” for your loved one. In a word, you still like each other, but you have already gotten used to the charm of your lover.
Let's say, if your loved one told you a funny joke at the first stage, you would sincerely burst out laughing for several minutes, and then praise his unique sense of humor. And at the second stage - saturation, you would honor your loved one with a smile and say “Well done, really funny!” The difference is noticeable, isn't it?
Stages of relationships between men and women
Many adults and fully educated people believe that the strength of their love relationships requires feelings that usually arise at the very beginning of their acquaintance. Psychologists say that feelings initially only bring people together, but are not responsible for how long these partners will be together. All relationships go through certain stages of their development, which, if passed, will allow one to achieve a truly strong union:
The first stage is called falling in love, or the candy-bouquet period, which is considered the most pleasant and exciting. Many people break up after he leaves because they don’t understand why their feelings are fading away. In fact, those disturbances that are caused by a person’s psychological state under the influence of hormones that influence the functioning of the brain disappear. In a state of love, it seems to a person that his partner is the main and most significant one. He directs all his attention to him, often idealizes him. However, after 1-1.5 years, love passes. If people cannot come to terms with the reality in which they actually live, then they begin to talk about the fading of feelings and the need to separate. The second stage is called satiation, when a person becomes more and more aware that his love feelings are passing, and he is gradually forced to face reality more and more. Here he begins to look for the answer to the question of how to return his old feelings. However, the person simply does not understand that he wants to return that explosion of hormones that euphorically affect his brain. If the partners remain, then the old feelings can be returned only for a short time. If partners cannot bear the lack of feelings, then they break up in order to fall in love with someone again, that is, to cause another euphoria in their heads. The third stage is called rejection. Here, partners finally begin to notice each other's shortcomings. People fall in love for their virtues. And the appearance of shortcomings makes you think that the person has been deceived. If an individual thinks that he made a mistake with his choice, that he was deceived, that his partner was pretending, then he begins to look for reasons to break up with him. In fact, people originally had both advantages and disadvantages. It’s just that at first some of them were not noticed, ignored under the influence of hormones, and the rest were passed over eyes and ears so as not to spoil their euphoric feelings. When hormones stop creating “rose-colored glasses,” people begin to break up. The fourth stage is called humility, when partners begin to learn to live with each other, noticing their strengths and weaknesses. Those who did not want to leave focus their energy on building their love relationships. All people have shortcomings, which is well understood by those who refused to separate, since their choice was not wrong. Either people learn to come to terms with each other's shortcomings, or they continue to search for their ideals, each time being disappointed that they are not found.
In a love relationship, respect is important when a person accepts the whole partner, and not just the good side. The fifth stage is called service, when partners no longer just respect each other, but even begin to protect each other’s interests. The sixth stage is characterized by mutual respect, when partners already value each other not for some actions, but in general. This is where trust comes into play. At the seventh stage, love arises, which is characterized by that down-to-earth and calm attitude towards your partner, when you know him well, perceive him with all his advantages and disadvantages, do not try to change him, and even find something familiar in him.
Advice from psychologists:
- Realize that both sides are to blame in a conflict. Don’t try to make excuses for everything or blame your significant other. This is the wrong way to fix the problem.
- Engage in self-development, raise self-esteem. Your partner's perception of you depends on this. The eyes of others reflect your thoughts about yourself.
- You cannot shower a cold partner with reproaches or irritate him. Try to meet halfway, make a small surprise: to defuse the tense situation.
- Thank your spouse for their care, attention, and time. Remember the power of a good habit. Love and gratitude rule the world, because they are powerful energies.
- Come up with family traditions, create rituals - strictly adhere to them. For example, celebrate your wedding anniversary every time.
- Make long-term plans - they magically save the marriage.
- Marital union is daily painstaking work to create a happy life together.
- Try to pamper your loved ones, appreciate them, take care of love, respect opposing opinions, look for compromises, smooth out rough edges, extinguish the first sparks of conflict - and you will find happiness.
Is it true that there are seven stages of real feeling?
According to psychologists, every couple goes through several stages of relationships on the way to a real and deep feeling of love.
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Each stage can take a different period of time, it depends on the depth of affection for each other, on the similarity of character, temperament and some other features of the relationship.
Psychologists have developed a template consisting of seven stages that almost every married couple goes through. Of course, it is impossible to fit every relationship without exception into this template; for each partner, everything proceeds individually
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The relationships of some couples are characterized by cyclicality: after going through the three initial stages, the couple can return to the first stage, inflamed with new feelings for each other and reviving a new round of love.
About the stages of development of love in psychology in this video:
Actions of a man
We will also talk about female emotionality here.
It is important for a man to learn to listen to his partner. And not only listen, but also hear, and not consider her problems as something funny and insignificant. Representatives of the stronger half of humanity should take responsibility for their leisure time .
If possible, they need to surprise their woman, please her with small surprises, and arrange romantic meetings. She will definitely appreciate it, because any woman wants to feel desired and loved.
