What should a girl be able to do at 10 years old: development, help around the house, games, books

• September 13, 2018
• Child psychology
• Yulia Shamshurina

Raising a ten-year-old is not an easy task. Often parents tend to go to two extremes: either demand too much from the child, or demand too little. How can you learn to sensibly assess your child’s capabilities? For this purpose, special average requirements have been developed, focusing on which you need to raise a daughter of this age. Let's find out what a 10-year-old girl should be able to do according to them, as well as what level of physical development is considered normal for her.

This alluring and frightening number “10”

The candles on the birthday cake barely have time to go out when the parents of their ten-year-old daughter begin to notice dramatic changes in her. And this is not only the onset of puberty, the appearance of breasts and other secondary sexual characteristics, but also changes in character.

At this age, girls often become hot-tempered, begin to rebel and hide things from their parents. Why is that? The fact is that not only the body of yesterday’s baby gradually turns from a child’s to a girl’s, but also her psyche. The hormonal system is under enormous stress and the girl herself is not always aware of what is happening to her. She may not even understand why she begins to react more subtly to everything, cry for no apparent reason, or show unmotivated aggression.

As a rule, it is at the age of 10 (these are average indicators, it can happen either earlier or later) that the child begins to recognize himself as a separate person. The daughter notices that she may like things that her parents are not happy with. And mom and dad themselves no longer seem all-knowing and infallible. A kind of debunking of the parental cult is taking place and it is difficult for both sides to survive. It may be difficult for a girl to accept that mom and dad are not as good, smart, rich, or caring as other parents. At the same time, it may not be easy for them to come to terms with the baby’s increasing independence.

At this age, their task is to use all means to help their ten-year-old daughter accept the changes that are happening to her body and psyche. In addition, it is important to begin to instill in the girl the awareness that with new rights and opportunities (which this age brings) comes new responsibility. The balance of these two scales is the key to the formation of an independent and self-sufficient personality, which is what every caring parent wants for their child.

Warning signs for parents

Be attentive to your children, they often cry for help without noticing it themselves. Pay attention to:

1. Self-harm. Children can bite their nails, cuticles, cut their skin, and become involved in dangerous forms of entertainment. All this indicates internal pain that the child is experiencing and is trying to drown out at least a little with the help of physical pain.
2. Bad habits. If a child “smoked behind garages” with friends and showed his maturity, this is, of course, bad, but not scary. But if you notice that your child drinks alcohol, smokes or uses drugs not for the purpose of socializing, immediately seek help from specialists
3. Lack of any hobby. If a child, who due to his age should be active and cheerful, does not have a hobby, but instead is in apathy and spends the whole day in the apartment, this is also a serious reason to look for the reason for such a loss of strength.
4. Demonstrative failure. Children may begin to deliberately receive bad grades and comments from teachers in order to attract the attention of their parents. After all, a negative reaction is also a reaction. Start paying positive attention to your children, and you will notice how the need for bad grades will go away on its own.
5. Loneliness. The child has no friends, he is alone almost all the time. Pay attention to this - as a rule, the problem is not with classmates. Most likely, the child lacks the skills to build friendships. This is quite easy to correct. If bullying is the basis of loneliness, immediately notify the school administration and begin active efforts to save the child.
6. Lack of empathy . If you notice that your child is cruel to animals or younger children, that he does not show sympathy and empathy for others, contact a specialist. All these are signs of more serious mental disorders, including schizophrenia.

Sex education

If for some reason, before reaching the age of ten, a conversation “about this” has not taken place, the omission should be urgently corrected. Having noticed changes in his body, the child will still know what is happening to him. But the correct acceptance of it depends on who, how and under what conditions this information is presented. So, putting aside false, stupid shame, it’s worth talking gently with your daughter about her gradual transformation into a woman.

It is best for this conversation to take place between the girl and her mother. If there is none, then with some other woman (grandmother, aunt, nanny, older sister, stepmother, etc.). The main thing is that the baby trusts her and her opinion.

In addition to the story, it is worth letting the girl watch some educational film/cartoon about puberty. Fortunately, today there is plenty to choose from among both foreign and domestic film products.

If desired, you can provide relevant literature to read. Moreover, such publications are adapted for different ages. So it’s not difficult to choose specialized books for 10-year-old girls, which clearly explain what’s happening to them and the upcoming changes.

As a rule, the first menstruation appears at the age of 11-13. However, in rare cases, they can also occur in ten-year-olds. Therefore, it is worth clearly explaining to your daughter what it is and how to behave on such days. Considering that “red” days can begin suddenly, outside the home or on a trip, it is worth discussing hygiene rules with the girl in advance and choosing the appropriate products. This preparation will help her cope with the problem herself if her mother is not around when her first period begins.

Talking about puberty and sex also includes talking about contraception. It is also advisable to carry it out at the age of ten. Although teenagers, as a rule, begin their sexual life at the age of 13-17, no one can say exactly when this will happen. Therefore, to develop the right culture of sex and prevent early pregnancy, it is worth telling your daughter about the basics of contraception. And after 2-3 years it will be possible to start a more serious conversation on this topic.

Once again, it is worth emphasizing that talking about puberty is very important at this age. The normal physical, intellectual and mental development of a girl at 10 years old includes an understanding of what is happening to her and the reasons for it. Moreover, from this age, yesterday’s babies, whose ultimate dream is a doll, often begin to show interest in boys, usually older than them. And if they are not taught to correctly evaluate and respond to such feelings and the desires that follow them, but simply say something like: “sex is evil” or “you are still too young and don’t understand anything about all this” - the child may begin to overindulge. be interested in this issue. If only out of a sense of protest and desire to prove one’s own maturity.

What should a 10 year old child know and be able to do?

Of course, the child must know the school curriculum and the program of the club or section he attends. However, in addition to this, it is necessary to teach the child the basic basics of everyday life:

1. Children may well begin to master cooking and housekeeping. Don’t be afraid to teach them how to cook pasta, porridge, soups, cut salads - all these skills will be useful to them in the future, and you will have peace of mind for your schoolchildren during the day - they will not go hungry.
2. Involve your child in cleaning up the apartment. Entrust him with a vacuum cleaner, teach him how to wash floors and wipe dust off surfaces. Show how to turn on the washing machine and how to load it correctly. Despite the presence of household appliances, teach how to wash small items by hand. This may come in handy on a trip, for example to a camp.
3. Trust your children to care for your pet and help with younger children.
4. Teach how to keep your personal belongings and your room in order. To make it easier for your child to cope with this task, consider convenient storage systems.

In addition to everyday skills, pay attention to communication and personal skills. They will allow you to build healthy relationships with other people and study successfully.

1. Time management. Teach your child to calculate the time required to complete certain tasks, teach them to create a schedule and distribute tasks throughout the day. Every year the academic load will only increase and the ability to plan your time will become a useful assistant in life.
2. Communication skills. The child gradually learns to accept criticism and respond to it, evaluate his behavior and change it depending on the situation, defend his position with arguments, resolve conflict situations and find a way out of difficult situations.
3. Handling money . Teach a ten-year-old child how to handle money in small amounts, tell him about budget planning. For example, which of the funds allocated to him should go to food, which should go to travel, and which should go to paying for classes. The remaining money is pocket money. At first, the child will be very tempted to spend money on his desires, but gradually he will begin to understand the responsibility for inappropriate spending of funds. So, by the time you reach adulthood, you will receive a responsible person who knows how to manage his finances.
4. Show how to make purchases in a store correctly, teach children to recognize marketing ploys and not be fooled by bright packaging and flashy slogans.

Physiological development

This age is very deceptive. It often happens that girls outwardly resemble teenagers, but in terms of intellectual and psychological development they can still remain children. Because of this, parents often worry whether their child is falling behind or, conversely, growing too quickly.

To understand this, it is worth comparing the daughter’s development with the average norms that are typical for her age.

The first thing you should know is how much a girl should weigh at 10 years old. This parameter is especially important, since underweight or excess weight can become symptoms of serious diseases. For example, worms or diabetes.

It is considered normal when a ten-year-old weighs between 27.7 and 34.9 kg. If deviations from these indicators are 0.5-1 kg, do not panic. This can be attributed to the individual developmental characteristics of the child. If more, then you should see a doctor. There is no need to immediately get scared and tune in to the negative. Extra/missing kilograms may simply be a consequence of a vacation spent with an overly hospitable grandmother in the village or too active sports activities.

Having found out how much a girl should weigh at 10 years old, you should pay attention to her height. On average, it should range from 134.3 to 142.9 cm. The normal deviation is 5-7 cm in any direction.

Another physical parameter that people pay attention to is the size of their head circumference. It should be 51.5 - 54.1 cm.

Otherwise, everything is individual. The size of the chest, waist and hips at this age directly depends on the onset of puberty and the speed of its development. At the age of ten, a daughter may begin to grow breasts, hair under her arms and in her groin. However, these signs may not appear right now, but will make themselves felt at 11, 12 or 13 years of age.

Difficulties raising a son

At a young age, most children experience low self-esteem or even self-rejection. A teenager can literally hate his body, his character, his insecurities. Some of them even deliberately begin to mutilate themselves with a knife, but such actions are often aimed not at harming themselves, but to attract attention from adults or peers. Therefore, it is so important to maintain friendship between child and parent, replacing the rules of authoritative obedience with equal partnership. This is especially true for the relationship of sons with their fathers.

What is the psychology of children 9-10 years old? Boys of this age try to quickly get rid of the status of a child, but at the same time continue to want their parents to take care of them, as before. In this case, parents should meet their children halfway, however, this does not mean that they need to indulge all their whims. Let your son know that from now on you treat him like an adult, so he must accept a certain amount of responsibility. But keep pampering him with pleasant surprises that most children love.

Intellectual and mental development

This age is one of the milestones. It is believed that it is during this period that the child’s intellectual maturation begins. However, as with sexual intercourse, it may be delayed a little.

Quite often, at the age of 10, a girl is expected to read more complex literature that goes beyond the school curriculum, and also to have an idea about her future profession. But all these demands are not always healthy. Yes, many ten-year-olds indeed seem to be starting to think like adults. Possessors of extraordinary abilities at this age, they can read Nietzsche in the original and talk about the fate of the world. However, their knowledge is not based on actual life experience. They are not comprehended or felt. So in practice, it’s the same as a verse learned by heart, nothing more. Moreover, the girls themselves may not even understand that they are not adults, but are simply playing at them.

The task of parents is to show tact and firmness. In the first case, do not criticize unnecessarily arrogant daughters, who are seriously capable of starting to teach life lessons to dad, mom and even grandparents. In the second, put the girl in her place if her “games” go beyond the bounds of reason.

For this category of early and smart people, the most important thing is to teach their daughter to sensibly evaluate herself. One of the easiest ways is tests for 10-year-old girls. They can be aimed both at testing intellectual abilities or knowledge in certain areas (school curriculum, literature, music, natural sciences), and at analyzing character and the level of formation of social skills (the ability to communicate with peers and adults).

Similar tests for 10-year-old girls can be found in specialized literature or asked from a school psychologist. By the way, it would be nice to discuss their results with him. Although in the post-Soviet space the tradition of turning to such a specialist is still in its infancy, it should not be neglected. Moreover, sometimes he is able to notice and help correct those flaws in the child’s psychological development that the parents themselves do not see.

At the other extreme for girls of this age is “delayed maturation,” which is mistaken for developmental delay. Its essence is that the child is comfortable remaining in the position he is. Not wanting to change anything and take on additional responsibility, the girl deliberately “sabotages” her intellectual development. And not always consciously.

Although seemingly harmless, this problem can have serious consequences. After all, having “refused to grow up,” a ten-year-old later turns out to be unadapted to life and will have to catch up at an accelerated pace, which can lead to many mental disorders, as well as depression.

As a rule, simply talking in the event of such “sabotage” is ineffective. Therefore, it is best to slowly develop in a girl practical skills characteristic of her age. This may cause resistance at first. It will be possible to overcome it gradually, increasing the area of ​​her personal responsibility (range of responsibilities).

Specifics of education

A 10-year-old child, whose psychological diagnosis must be carried out by a qualified psychologist, needs adults to be aware of his needs and take them into account when constructing educational plans.

Checklist of the needs of a 10 year old child:

• Children need a positive assessment of their own “I”, subject to normal interaction with their peers or adults.
• Younger students need to be able to express themselves when interacting with other members of society.
• Of particular importance is the opportunity to communicate with peers of the same sex.

When constructing a communication plan with a child, it is necessary to take into account his gender and developmental characteristics.

Books for girls 10 years old

Reading is one of the most accessible ways for a child of this age to learn about the world. Unlike watching movies/cartoons, this process is more beneficial.

By the age of ten, a girl should already be able to choose books from the library for extracurricular reading. At the same time, parents should complement her choice, taking into account her interests and weaknesses.

In addition to what the school curriculum requires, as well as the desires of the child himself, there are books that every ten-year-old should read.

• Literature to broaden your horizons. These are encyclopedias and publications telling about other countries and their distinctive features.
• Books about self-care. Literature about puberty and sex can also be included in this category.
• Publications dedicated to household management. Of course, forcing a 10-year-old girl to reread Home Economics (1964) from cover to cover is stupid. However, finding adapted literature on this topic is not difficult. Even if your daughter does not have to sew, knit, cook, wash, iron, etc., it is necessary to have a minimal understanding of all this. For example, in Soviet times, Sofia Mogilevskaya’s book “Girls, a book for you” was distributed, according to which our mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers learned the basics of housekeeping. It is still published with minor additions, and even taking into account modern realities it has not lost its relevance.

How to raise a girl

Having understood the general features of upbringing, you can move on to individual practical points. These include issues related to the child’s health, physical condition, and others. This is what needs to be given when raising a daughter at different age stages.

1. Health

While the daughter is very young, her parents take care of her hygiene: they bathe her and change her clothes. How to raise an older girl? At the age of 3-4 years, you can start talking about the need to be neat: choose a clean and not wrinkled outfit, comb your hair, wash your face. At 3-5 years old, a child can already brush his teeth himself, and you need to explain to him that this needs to be done every day, telling him why.

From about 7 years old, a girl can take a shower without the help of adults. At this age, she should be able to do this on her own and be able to control how often she goes to the bathroom. From 9-12 years old, a child may need additional cosmetics for personal care. For example, deodorant or scented water. From the age of 13, due to the unstable functioning of hormones on the face and body, rashes and other skin problems are possible. This will require daily care in the form of cleansing and the use of specially selected products.

1. Physical development

From an early age, it is necessary to provide your daughter with physical activity. For small children - simple games where the baby can run, jump, catch, throw a ball and use other objects. From 6-9 years old, a girl can buy gaming equipment that requires activity: a jump rope, badminton, table tennis and others. An older child can be enrolled in dance classes or in a sports section: gymnastics, swimming, figure skating. It is not necessary for your daughter to participate in competitions and have any achievements. The main thing is that it will strengthen the muscles and the body will gain flexibility. After all, we need the child to be healthy.

If you do not have the goal of raising a champion, choose moderate loads. In this case, you need to pay attention to the coach and discuss further goals with him. It is necessary to explain that you are enrolling your daughter in classes only so that she is physically active, and she does not need exhausting workouts.

1. Development of intelligence

Thinking needs to be developed from an early age. At 2-5 years old - educational games and toys. Nowadays, children's and bookstores sell a variety of things for babies. These can be cards with words and images, cubes, books with three-dimensional pictures and sound.

How to properly raise a girl if she doesn’t want to study something? Invite her to do this in a playful way. You can come up with many simple games yourself, during which you will teach your daughter something. For example, take turns naming animals, musical instruments, colors and other categories of words. The competitive moment will invigorate the baby and increase the desire to participate in training.

Another option is to try to connect what you want to talk about with what children like. For example, if a child loves cats, ask questions related to them: about colors, geometric shapes.

From 5 to 7 years old, active preparation for school begins. It’s more difficult to interest a little fidget here. Not everyone likes to learn long poems, count and write correctly. You will have to be resourceful to interest a preschooler. To do this, it is necessary to take into account her interests and be able to negotiate.

During school, you need to control your daughter, but do it unobtrusively. It is important to help a schoolgirl do her homework and check the result of her work, but not to do it for her. The best tactic is to let them try to do everything on their own, and if it doesn’t work out, start solving the tasks together.

1. Child's interests

To broaden the horizons of children, it is important to discuss various topics with them, provide “food for the mind” and facilitate its analysis and assimilation. You can show interesting programs, buy books and scientific magazines. The latter are specially created in order to interest the child. This way he receives information in the form that he likes.

Observe what your daughter loves most, what she shows interest in, and actively develop this area. Perhaps in the future your favorite activity will become a permanent hobby.

A hobby is an important part of life both at 7 years old and at 15. It is something that brings pleasure, helps you relax and take your mind off problems. Even if, for example, dancing or macrame seems like a useless waste of time to you, do not cut off your daughter’s aspirations and desires in the bud, allow her to express herself.

1. Thrift

When thinking about how to properly raise a girl, many believe that she, first of all, should be a good housewife. This is partly true. But it is necessary to understand what is the acceptable level of raising a child in this direction. Start with something simple - a little girl should be able to clean up after herself, for example, putting toys back when needed, or taking her plate to the sink after dinner.

You cannot force your child to do all the housework that he can handle. Requests for help should not be forced!

To educate your daughter to be thrifty, you need to agree with her that she has several responsibilities that need to be performed regularly: washing dishes, dusting the workplace, neatly folding her clothes. Such small tasks will be enough for the child to get used to cleaning. If you force your daughter to do a lot of things while you do less or the same amount, she will feel like you are exploiting her. In this case, she will not want to help around the house at all and may even give up her small responsibilities.

1. beauty

At any age, children want to become more mature. From about the age of 12, emerging girls strive to achieve this, at least externally. To be more like her mother or older girlfriends, her daughter has a desire to use decorative cosmetics. There is no need to get into a pose and categorically forbid her from doing so.

How to raise a girl so as not to quarrel? Agree with her and help her choose the truly necessary funds. For example, for teenagers it is important to use cosmetics that correct their skin condition. Together, choose a foundation, concealer or powder so you can hide rashes and inflammation on your face. At the same time, you can choose products to remove makeup and eliminate skin problems.

Toys for ten year olds

Even experienced adults sometimes like to play something. And for a 10-year-old girl, toys are quite natural.

However, at this age their focus should gradually change. They serve more for acquiring practical skills.

This does not mean that as soon as our daughter turns 10, we will take away her favorite doll and give her a miniature sewing machine in return. No, this transition must occur gradually. The same games with a doll should be redirected a little. For example, get your little one interested in creating an entertaining piece of jewelry for your pet, a new outfit, or even a stylish hairstyle.

In any case, some toys for 10-year-old girls should still be for fun. However, the majority should make up various sets for conducting experiments, creating jewelry, clothes, toys, etc.

Hygiene kits for ten-year-olds

So-called children's cosmetics are often classified as toys. In fact, for a 10-year-old girl this is no longer entertainment, but a necessity.

There are many companies specializing in the production of cosmetics for young princesses. Moreover, these are both domestic and foreign manufacturers. When choosing a set, you should carefully study the components - after all, the child’s health is at stake. His body in its developmental stage is overly susceptible to various toxic substances.

As a rule, children's cosmetics are sold in sets. If lipstick, nail polish or eye shadow seem inappropriate for a girl of this age, you should choose a set without them. It is important not to forget that at this age many babies begin to sweat, so the presence of deodorant or eau de toilette is necessary. However, like your own shower gel/soap.

Cream is not necessary for ten-year-olds. But hygienic lipstick in winter - yes. Especially if your daughter tends to lick her lips.

Sex education

In addition to stories about the physiological differences between girls and boys, it is necessary to emphasize the moral principles of behavior. Then you won’t have to worry about how the girl will behave in a given situation. In adolescence, it is important to cultivate morality, give confidence and allow one to be independent in order to be able to make the right decisions. When a girl gets older, it is necessary to explain to her the basic issues related to sexual life: why early relationships can be dangerous for physical and mental health, talk about the need for contraception and possible consequences.

Computer: friend or foe

Quite often you hear the phrase: “All evil comes from computers.” Based on this opinion, many parents prohibit their children from using this device.

No matter how we feel about this device, we must admit that it has firmly entered our everyday life and not a single field of activity can do without it. Thus, computer literacy is an important component of the life of a modern person.

By the age of ten, a girl should be accustomed to the idea that such a device is neither evil nor good. It is only a tool in the hands of the user, and it depends on him whether it will bring benefit or harm.

What should a 10 year old girl be able to do on a computer?

• Use a text editor. Be able to type taking into account the rules for setting punctuation marks and paragraphs, as well as correct errors.
• Have basic skills in creating presentations (selecting and inserting pictures, commenting on them).
• Have the ability to use search engines. Be able to find the right book, movie, cartoon, article.
• Be able to use Google or any other online dictionary/translator.
• Have an understanding of computer and network security (do not give passwords to anyone, do not disclose personal information to strangers or acquaintances only through online correspondence, etc.). Scan all external connected devices and downloaded programs for viruses.

Despite the apparent independence and even responsibility, you should not be allowed to use the computer to your heart’s content. The fact is that even adults often cannot tear themselves away from this device for hours, so it is extremely naive to expect consciousness from a child. You should be allowed to use a computer (tablet, phone) no more than 2 hours a day with breaks every 30-40 minutes. All this should happen only after homework and homework are done.

Another important question that worries parents: “Which computer should I choose for a 10-year-old girl?” In this matter, everything is individual. However, if you have a place to put a computer, it is better to choose it rather than a laptop or tablet. This device will be easier to repair and improve in the future. In addition, it is more durable and functional.

As for the tablet, if the child already has a fairly powerful phone and computer, then this device will be clearly superfluous.

In any case, remember that a ten-year-old is still a child and all such adult devices are perceived by her as toys. So you can’t do without healthy, unobtrusive control.

Don't be afraid to communicate with your child

Unfortunately, many families neglect this important rule and let raising children take their course. However, a good parent should always strive to build rapport with their child. This cannot be done without communication. Did you see your son playing a PlayStation in the living room? Be sure to ask him a few questions about this game. It's a day off and you don't know what to do? Go outdoors to the forest with the whole family, where you can teach your child the wisdom of survival in the wild, and also communicate with him at the same time.

Both parents should communicate with the baby. The mother will give her child care and warmth, and the father will give him a courageous model of behavior, develop determination and courage, and teach him not to give up in difficult situations. Of course, at the age of 10, a child tries with all his might to grow up faster, however, he still remains a child and wants to feel warmth and attention. Why be surprised? Sometimes even adults don’t have enough of this...

Finance

The ability to manage one’s own funds is something that a 10-year-old girl should be able to do. In any case, this age is the time to start learning this. From this period on, it is worth giving your daughter a small amount of pocket money every week. You can also instruct her to buy her own stationery and top up her mobile phone.

When she starts to get all of this, it's time to send her to the store shopping with a list. At first it should contain no more than 2-3 points. Further more.

To the list of what a 10-year-old girl should be able to do, it is worth adding the habit of checking receipts after purchases and change, without leaving the cash register or being in the field of view of cameras. Another ten-year-old should learn that salespeople can make mistakes too. Therefore, if she was shortchanged or the wrong product was sold, you should immediately contact the culprit or the security guard. The child must learn that as a buyer, he has rights and must be ready to defend them, and not silently endure injustice.

If the girl copes with all of the above, it’s time to send her to pay utility bills. Naturally, it is too early for her to make calculations on them herself. However, it is already possible to show how they are produced.

Be an example for your child

Every child needs a role model, especially a boy. If his own father is not like that for him, it means that some serious mistake was made in his upbringing. Try to spend more time with your son and be more interested in his life and thoughts. It will almost always be useful to engage in some masculine activities with a boy, for example, go fishing, ask him for help while repairing a car, assemble an airplane from a construction set, and so on.

The more a boy feels the friendship that connects him with his own father, the better example you will become for him. To do this, you don’t need to be ideal in everything. Just approach your work and raising a child with great responsibility and always keep the word that you give to a 10-year-old boy. Disobedience in a child’s psychology must be eradicated almost completely. To do this, do not hesitate to punish him for unfinished work and praise him if he completed his homework on time.

Help around the house

Before considering what 10-year-old girls should do at home, it is worth reminding parents that their children are not slaves or free labor. So, dumping all the responsibilities at home on them, and then being surprised by poor grades at school, is dishonest.

Naturally, at this age, a daughter should already be able to take care of herself. That is, cleaning your shoes, sorting and arranging your clothes, and determining whether they need to be sent to the wash. Her responsibilities include sewing on buttons and other minor repairs.

Regarding housework, by the age of 10, a child should be taught to wash dishes, make tea/coffee, heat food on the stove and in the microwave, peel vegetables, sort and take out garbage.

Also, a ten-year-old must take part in cleaning the house. She can vacuum, wash floors and glass, and wipe off dust.

If a family has a dacha/garden, it’s time for a 10-year-old girl to help there too. It’s too early for her to dig, but she’s quite capable of harvesting and watering, weeding and other little things.

Sometimes ten-year-olds can do even more: bake pies, make jam, and do laundry not in a machine, but with their own hands. If a girl can do all this so early, great. If not, don’t rush things.

Lowest self-esteem is at 9-10 years old

What is self-esteem in psychology? This is an individual’s assessment of himself, his capabilities, qualities and place among other people.

Children from birth have high self-esteem. This, of course, is a phenomenon fueled by parents - the baby for them is the center of the Universe, their world. He is constantly admired, people always show him love. As they grow older, self-esteem begins to fall: parents increasingly swear at the child, he encounters a society that shatters his ideas about himself.

And by the age of 9-10 this decline reaches its lowest point. Researchers are unanimous in describing the characteristics of self-esteem in children of this age, noting its situational nature, instability, susceptibility to external influences in early adolescence and greater stability and versatility in covering various spheres of life in older adolescence.

Of course, there are factors that can have both a beneficial and destructive effect on a child:

• character traits;
• relationships with parents and other family members;
• position (authority) among peers and friends;
• learning achievements and teacher attitudes;
• physiological data (appearance) and success, as well as personal achievements.

Care for younger children

Ten-year-olds are already able to help their mother or other relatives care for babies. For example: change a diaper, take the stroller for a walk in the yard, prepare formula and bottle feed. However, this assistance should not become unduly burdensome. The girl is still a child herself, and she needs personal time. And making her a free, reliable nanny will only harm her.

In the case of older children, 3-7 years old, a ten-year-old can easily drive and pick them up from kindergarten (if it is nearby), as well as play with them on the street and help with homework. And again, such help should not take away personal time (2-4 hours) and the opportunity to get enough sleep, eat, study, etc.

Education of feelings

Many parents ask the question: “How to raise a daughter so that she is obedient and loves mom and dad?” Sometimes it is difficult to choose the right strategy that would allow you to teach your child everything necessary, but at the same time he would not be offended and embittered by his relatives. Here are some recommendations that will help you find a common language with your daughter.

1. Let your daughter know that you love her

One of the main points in raising a girl is the manifestation of love. At any age and in any situation, a child should know that his parents love him. The easiest way to show your feelings to little children is to hug, kiss, pamper them and play with them. With preschoolers and teenagers, you can talk about feelings directly - not only “I love you,” but simply using kind words when addressing them. You can give your daughter cute nicknames that she will like: sunshine, baby and others. So, even if you quarreled, and after the conversation the girl hears something pleasant, she will understand that, although you are angry with her, you do not change your attitude.

1. Support and encourage your child's success

How to raise a girl so that she becomes successful? Another common question from moms and dads. First of all, praise, even for small achievements. Psychologists say that a reward, even a verbal one, provides an incentive to move on: to study, play sports or do another favorite activity. In addition, the child will see that his efforts are not in vain, they are appreciated by his parents, and he will know that he is not doing everything in vain. In addition, offer help, ask if there are any unresolved issues. This way your daughter will feel supported and feel more confident.

1. During adolescence, allow her to express herself

Not all parents like the fact that their growing daughter begins to lead a lifestyle that is too active, in their opinion: she dresses brightly and provocatively, paints her hair and nails, and wears colorful makeup. It becomes very difficult for mother and father to imagine themselves in their daughter’s place and understand her.

What should I do? First, you need to pacify your desire to prohibit the girl from everything that you consider wrong. Countermeasures will only make the situation worse and may create hatred. The only way out is to let your child know that you are not against his hobbies, changing his style and other manifestations. But in order for your daughter not to go beyond the limits, you need to discuss with her those points that especially bother you. Only a calm conversation will help resolve the issue. Explain to the girl that you want to reach an agreement and suggest the following tactics: first you say what and why you are not satisfied, your daughter explains her position, and then together you try to come to an agreed solution.

1. Be your daughter's best friend

A good parent is a combination of teacher and friend. The first one can be easily dealt with, but not many succeed in the second role. In order to make friends with your daughter, you need to learn to imagine yourself in her place. This will make it easier to understand her feelings and attitude towards any situations. After this, you need to take the right position - look at problems not only from the parent’s side, but be at one with the child. If any question arises, do not start reading moral lectures, but go over to your daughter’s side and try to solve the problem together.

Pets

To conclude our discussion of what a 10-year-old girl should do, it’s worth talking about pets. At this age, the baby is already able to fully take care of a pet on her own. This is not only feeding and cleaning, but also walking and training. Regarding the latter, sometimes you need the help of an adult or professional. Otherwise, the ten-year-old must understand that if she wants to have an animal, then it will be her complete personal responsibility.

The role of parents in this case is to buy food and filler, and accompany the child and the animal to the veterinarian. If a girl does not fulfill her duties, despite repeated reminders, you should gently but firmly explain to her that the animal can be taken away from her. If this has no effect, then you will have to carry out the threat, even if it turns out to be difficult. Ten years of age is quite sufficient to learn the commandment of the unforgettable Antoine de Saint-Exupéry: “We are responsible for those we have tamed.”

Transitional age

Dear parents, you are standing at the very beginning of a difficult path through the thorny teenage period. How you take your first steps will determine your entire future journey. Whether you go along with your child, or you have to watch him from the side, depends only on what kind of relationship you build at this stage. Become comrades-in-arms and support for your children, and they will answer you in kind!