How to understand that you love a person

How do you understand that what you feel is love?

I used to think that love is when something just clicks in your head and heart and you realize that you are in love. Out of the blue. Like the blow of Cupid's arrow. And you just know. Right?

Not really. After 38 years of life and many years of marriage, I no longer consider love that way. Now Cupid is more like Santa Claus to me.

Love is a series of decisions. The first decision is based on many factors, including chemistry, principles, logic, humor, intelligence, figure, social status, dreams and aspirations...

The list goes on, and the importance of each item is different for everyone. Based on these factors, we either decide to begin the love process or not. If we decide to do this, then there may be moments “when something just clicks.” The way she looked at you. How he touched your hand, etc.

But just like when flying an airplane, there are areas of turbulence. Quarreling. Conflicts. Little things that irritate. His socks. Her shopping. We begin to doubt that we made the right decision.

And when we begin to doubt, we have to make the next decision: continue the “flight” with this person or get off the plane. This decision is again based on a hundred other factors.

If we decide to get off, the frightening free fall will make us either stronger or more pathetic. But sooner or later we will find ourselves at the airport again, waiting for the next plane. And there will be turbulence again. Or maybe it won't. Maybe we'll change the destination. But the choice remains the same: fly further or jump off?

Love is the daily making of such decisions: to love or not to love. That's all.

It's simple. To continue all this or not. We can fall in love and we can fall out of love. And this does not mean that we do not love this person. This means that we have made a decision. We may continue to feel love, but we have decided not to love him anymore. The decision to love is not a feeling, it is an action.

That's why it's so difficult. This requires action from us. And this doesn’t just mean buying flowers. This means putting your needs into the background. But, like chemistry, the ability to love is not constant. It depends on what generally happens to us in life.

Sometimes love is easy. Sometimes it's very difficult. But at the end of the day, it's still our decision.

At the same time, love can intensify. The longer we stay in this flight, the more we endure together, the easier it is for us to fly. We become stronger as a couple, as individuals.

The decision to love creates opportunities to deal with things in life that we could never handle alone, and that is what makes our decision worthwhile.

So how do you know what you love? This is the wrong question. Question: Do you decide to love this person or not? Right now. Not tomorrow. Today. Make a decision. Yes or no. If the answer is yes, love as much as you can. If the answer is no, promise one thing: Let falling out of a plane make you stronger.

How to understand your feelings for a person

If the attitude towards a person lends itself to at least some logical analysis, then with feelings things are much more complicated and confusing. Not all people easily identify their emotions, personal sensations and feelings. But you need to learn to listen to yourself, to your inner voice and intuition.

To do this you need complete concentration, absence of noise and fuss. It is best to determine your inner sensations alone, when nothing distracts you from the process of comprehending the great secret of your soul. Think about the person you are interested in and try to understand what exactly your heart feels towards him. Do you feel positive emotions, or vice versa? Do you want to be with him or not? You may need to think about it for a few days or even weeks, but the result you come up with will be fairly accurate.

In addition, it is quite easy to become convinced of the depth of your feelings if you live with the person you like for some time. It is in everyday life that one understands the compatibility of two people, as well as their ability to change, adapting to each other. You can be mistaken for a long time, naively believing that you are madly in love with your partner, but a few months spent together can easily and simply dispel this myth. But if you are dealing with a real soulmate, then no quarrels, trials or obstacles will allow you to throw him out of your life.

Therefore, try to communicate as often as possible with a person of the opposite sex that interests you. Only in this way will you be able to comprehend the unknown facets of his character, which can both increase your sympathy for him and kill all feelings. If you begin to experience severe discomfort in communication, you may decide to break off this connection or want to change yourself in order to save your relationship. In any case, it is not reason or the advice of friends and relatives that will help you make the right decision in the field of love and emotions. Listen only to your soul, which will not deceive you.

Patronage

The feeling of a patron resembles the relationship of a parent providing care and protection. A strong union is possible when the patron's partner is weaker and more dependent on him. There is often a large difference in age or social status between such partners. By showing care, the patron satisfies his vanity, he likes to be strong, in charge, this allows him to show condescension and contempt for his partner: “Where would you be if not me?”

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In intimate relationships, problems often arise for one or both partners. But they do not perceive sexual relations as the basis of family relationships. If a dependent partner “grows out” of such a relationship, he strives to break the union, and the patron experiences anger - after all, he raised him “from rags to riches”, but he was not appreciated.

How to understand what you feel for a person. Start of communication

It happens that people confuse the concepts of love and passion.
If you met relatively recently, and your thoughts revolve only around him, you cannot sleep peacefully, and during the day you constantly turn your phone in your hands in anticipation of an SMS, congratulations - you have fallen in love! But falling in love and falling in love are two completely different things, and without knowing the differences between one and the other, you risk doing a lot of rash actions. How can you understand your feelings for a person if serious passion has flared up between you, and there is no time to figure out what you are really experiencing?

First of all, you need to realize that this is a temporary stage that will not last forever. The so-called “candy-bouquet period” will pass quite quickly, and the person will begin to reveal a different side to you. It is quite possible that on Fridays he likes to drink with friends in a bar, and not enjoy the work of Russian artists in an art gallery. Accept as an option that your passion is far from a gift, and then his positive qualities will become a pleasant surprise for you.

Test results

Summing up the results of the test, we can conclude that if the maximum number of answers to the questions were the first, this means that you have real, sincere feelings for your partner, and do not regret your choice for a second.

If most of the answers are the latter, then you need to work on your relationships and better understand your feelings. If the majority of the answers are #3, then you should reconsider whether you really want this person to be around. You may be wasting your time and his.

How to understand what you truly love

1. Unselfishness. True love is a selfless feeling. If a man or woman is looking for benefits, constantly waiting for the chosen one to do something for him or, especially, help him financially, there is no need to talk about love. These are not emotions, but use.
2. Sexual attraction. Can true love exist without sex? It’s difficult to say, since everyone hears about so-called platonic love, which does not imply physical contact. However, many psychologists are confident that love is always combined with sexual attraction, which is completely natural. Along with the desire to possess, a person in love wants to see and hear the chosen one, to be nearby just like that, not because of the satisfaction of “animal” instincts.
3. Unconditional acceptance. To love is to accept a partner with all his advantages and disadvantages. A person in love does not seek to remake the chosen one to suit his patterns. Do you want to change something about your dear friend? Most likely, this is not love.
4. Confidence. The ability to trust a loved one is an important indicator of true love. If you are used to sharing your problems and joys with your partner, you are not afraid that you will not be understood or laughed at, this is SHE. Incomplete trust is one of the signs that you still do not love this person.
5. Consistency. True love differs from falling in love in that it is not influenced by any external circumstances. For example, if relatives and friends oppose the chosen one, a loving person will defend his opinion and feelings. In addition, real emotions do not change plus for minus, even if the partner turned out to be far from perfect.
6. Sacrifice. Love implies the willingness to sacrifice oneself for the sake of the one whom the heart considers the best person in the world. Sacrifice does not imply the desire to receive anything in return, the most important thing is moral satisfaction from the happiness of a loved one.

What to do if you don't like each other anymore

Falling in love flares up quickly, like a match, and love develops in small steps and only grows every day. However, she leaves using the same method. It is impossible to stop loving a person in one day. Passion, attraction, and then emotions gradually disappear. But even if there is a strong resentment, it will not be possible to stop loving or ignore thoughts about your soul mate.

Personality develops throughout life, during which its hobbies and worldviews change. This causes misunderstandings and leads to separation. You can alternately accept heightened emotions, their decline, periods of happiness and disagreement. However, if the relationship does not bring satisfaction, as in the first months, you need to talk with your chosen one, and do not be afraid to be sincere. Perhaps he has not been in love for a long time, but does not want to take responsibility for breaking the union. Don't delay - dislike breeds disrespect and loss of interest. This is hardly a short-term disorder and it makes sense to experience each new crisis again. It is better to let each other go, look at your shortcomings and find your true happiness.

How to understand if you love your husband

To understand your attitude towards your husband, you need to understand what you are ready for for him. What troubles and misfortunes will you go through together, shoulder to shoulder? Below are a series of questions that require a yes or no answer:

• Can you trust this person with your life?
• Will you allow me to make important decisions for you?
• If he gets sick, will you be able to give away a kidney or part of his liver so that he can live?
• Would you give your life for your loved one?
• Are you ready to be with him if he ends up in a wheelchair, to care for him and support him in difficult times?
• Are you ready to see this person every day of your life?
• After spending time apart (for example, a month), will you miss, yearn for your husband and wait for his return?

If you answered yes to all these questions or most of them, then this is really love, and you should think about connecting your whole life with this person.

Differences

What is the difference between love and affection. Signs of both feelings are presented in the table. Compare them with your feelings, and it will be easier to understand yourself.

Love or Affection. How to understand whether you love a person or is it just affection

Preoccupation with the thoughts, behavior, and feelings of a “loved” person leads to dependence on his or her approval. The self-perception and self-esteem of a dependent partner reflects the reaction of the “beloved” person. Expressing real emotions and thoughts becomes too risky. Therefore, playing it safe is important and can take the form of repetition or even ritual. For example, a statement such as “if you don't call me from work from nine to three every day, then you don't really love me” is not uncommon. With addiction comes intolerance for the time a couple spends apart from each other. Ownership, jealousy and patronage prevail over trust. A dependent person cannot tolerate being apart, even when there is conflict in the relationship or when the relationship is unhealthy.

Experiencing unhealthy attachment in a relationship, a dependent person, at the slightest possibility of separation, clings tightly to his “other half”, feeling hopeless. Being apart can provoke physical symptoms such as impatience, lethargy or loss of appetite.

Signs of true love

If we start from the definition of what love is, we can identify certain key features of this feeling. The signs may be present all at once, or one at a time. It all depends on the situation. In any case, most of it will always be traced in relationships:

• You constantly think about the person you love;
• Always want to do something good for your partner;
• Periodically analyze the words, thoughts and actions that your significant other performs;
• Inspiration and desire for self-development appear in you;
• You do not change your opinion and attitude towards your partner, despite his shortcomings;
• You respect your significant other very much.

If you observe these signs constantly, and they do not disappear over time, you can congratulate you, your feelings are sincere. It seems simple, then why do people think that affection is love?

How do you feel when you truly love - 10 ways

The feeling of falling in love is a wonderful and amazing feeling that captures or, on the contrary, scares us. Sooner or later, every person experiences it.

If you fall in love, then in the future you will no longer be able to imagine your life without your soulmate.

It is worth remembering that each person experiences love in completely different ways. Probably everyone who has experienced this feeling will agree that it is the most excellent and beautiful on Earth.

So let's read 10 ways to understand that you really love that person or you just like him:

Waking up early in the morning - this is the first person you think about

If you really love a person, then when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you think about is him, and before going to bed, you also think about him. When you have many wonderful moments during the day, you first want to share it all with your partner. When the day is not going well and a lot of bad things happen to you, you look to him for support.

Your loved one is the best part of the day.

One famous American musician and actor Childish Gambino sings in one of his songs: “When I'm alone, I'd rather be with you.” Even those few minutes that you spend every day with your loved one are the best for you. You will never get tired of your soulmate and will always look for a reason to meet her.

No matter how good the day was, your loved one and dear one can brighten it with just their presence. If you just like a person, she or he will be able to make him or her better, but most likely they will not be able to be the best part of him.

Self-interest comes second

While you are alone, your interests are the most important to you. Love is selfless. If you really meet your true love, then the interests of your soulmate will be much more important to you than your own. This is what love is all about. Your own interests will always seem insignificant in contrast to the interests of your loved one.

You are not afraid to express your feelings in public

If you really love this person, then you want the whole world to know about it. You are never shy about your feelings. If you just like a person, then you will refrain from showing feelings in public.

Are you ready to do anything

When you are in love with someone, you will definitely do anything to make your loved one happy.

Are you planning for the long term future?

A person in love cannot imagine his future without a specific person. Based on this, you will probably plan your future life with your loved one for the long term.

If you just like a person, then planning the future will be very scary.

Your love is imperfect

Love is the ability to accept the shortcomings of a loved one. You may jokingly mention them to your loved one, but in reality you will adore these imperfections of hers or his.

Your feelings are not due to anything

True love is not limited by conditions. When you love your partner unconditionally, it means only one thing - your love is absolute and it knows no conditions.

You're getting better

There are no ideal people and there is always room to grow further. If you love someone, then you always want to become the best “version” for that person.