Any man wants to see an understanding and caring woman as his wife, who will never cease to surprise him, maintain cleanliness and comfort, and cook delicious food. They strive to return home to such a significant other as quickly as possible, want to constantly please with gifts and spend their free hours with her. In theory, everything sounds simple. However, I will tell you how to become a good wife for your husband, an ideal housewife and a caring mother in practice.
What does the stronger sex need?
For a partner to consider you a true life partner, unfortunately, it is not enough to have a beautiful appearance, to be an “athlete and Komsomol member.” If this were the case, many women would not be mired in marital quarrels, infidelity and divorce, and the profession of a family psychologist would lose its relevance.
Every gentleman has a need to feel loved and needed. He expects care, loyalty, support and understanding from his girlfriend. Women must have:
- devotion;
- poise;
- ease;
- thriftiness.
This means that each partner wants to come to a clean and cozy home, where they are comfortable not only physically, but also mentally. He wants pleasant communication with his chosen one, so that he can be filled with energy and calmness from her.
The ideal woman according to men
Men judge ideality through the prism of their own set of necessary qualities. Look at what they think a woman should be like who claims to be the ideal one? A survey of the male population in cities near and far abroad gives some male insight into this issue.
- A loving woman who deeply respects her man when he is worthy of respect.
- A thrifty, good wife who can create and maintain home comfort.
- Morally pure without a depraved past.
- Have a sense of self-worth that shows in her mannerisms. Be a beautiful soul.
- This is a woman who can make a man respect her. Making him appreciate her, afraid of losing his relationship with her.
- Smart as a man, beautiful as a girl, with the behavior of a lady from high society. Knows how to deal with people.
- Knows the tastes and preferences of her lover. She knows how to attract him with her image, which is the most beautiful for him.
- No bad habits, physically healthy. She does not hide behind bad habits from stress or difficult circumstances. This is the ideal woman through the eyes of men.
- Intellectually developed, able to use her intellect to analyze a situation in order to create, feel or invent.
- She is driven by the need to develop spiritually, to improve herself, and not by the desire to remake all the people around her. She is interested in constantly discovering something new in the people around her.
- The ideal one is the one who knows how to attract the attention of her man with her intelligence, upbringing, winning him with her gaze and smile.
- Not stupid or naive, but knowledgeable about life.
- Kind, patient, especially when there is a reason to get angry with children, husband, neighbors, relatives.
- She is open to experimentation, has enviable curves and a high IQ.
- With a good sense of humor, involved in charity work.
- She has her own opinion, is true to her principles, moderately strong and passionate about something.
- Honest, pleasant, ambitious, achieves her goals.
- She knows how to take care of herself and is able to combine being a housewife, mother and businesswoman.
- The ideal woman is faithful and devoted to a man, family values, and reliable for her lover.
- She loves joint adventures and recreation, active, cheerful.
How to become a beloved wife for your husband and be wise: principles of psychology
Both people need to work on the relationship. But their direction, sensuality and atmosphere are always set by the woman, because this is part of her responsibility. In the understanding of the stronger sex, the ideal spouse has several characteristics:
- takes care of children;
- provides support;
- monitors the cleanliness and comfort of the house;
- regularly shows love and affection.
These are the qualities that will help make a marriage happy. But let's figure out why these particular aspects are important.
Babysitting
When creating a family, a man is subconsciously ready that this particular girl will raise his children. At the same time, he expects them to be well dressed and fed, to grow correctly not only physically, but also mentally, and also to listen to their parents.
Otherwise, accusations fly towards the female side, which often leads to family conflicts. Becoming a good wife and mother means conveying to your lover that children cannot fully meet parental requirements. It is important that they have a happy childhood and grow up confident.
Partner support
Often the chosen ones should be stopped from taking rash steps. But even more often - to support their endeavors. After all, when the world around is collapsing, it is important for the gentleman to know that a person who is on his side is waiting for him at home. An understanding woman makes a man more decisive. This way he can move mountains and achieve great heights. And the girls, in turn, will go through one more stage on the path of how to be the best and most correct wife for their husband.
Cleanliness and comfort
Home is a “fortress” where a person spends quite a lot of time. Therefore, any spouse wants it to be comfortable. Otherwise, disharmony begins in the family. After all, who wants to come to a cluttered apartment after a hard day?
Guys love order in all forms. Not only in housing, but also in relationships and at work. If you don’t want to spend the whole day cleaning, then there is a way out of this situation. You can devote at least 30 minutes to this every day. For example, on Mondays - floor washing, Wednesdays - laundry, and Saturdays - wet dusting. And then the third stage, how to be an ideal good wife for your husband and mother for your child, will be completed.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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Love and tenderness
Cheating often happens due to a lack of feelings in the family. The girl devotes all her time to work or raising children, and this takes too much energy from her. The partner notices that the beloved has become less likely to hug or kiss him, and this causes resentment. Remember that wonderful spouses are not born, but become thanks to women's wisdom and efforts. Therefore, before your chosen one arrives, rest for about 30 minutes to relax, recharge with new strength and be ready for a pleasant conversation and hugs.
What not to do
We found out what you need to do to become the best wife. Now let's look at the main women's taboos in family life.
Don't criticize your husband again
Family is not a place for self-affirmation. If a man has failed or made a mistake, you should not attack him with reproaches. Otherwise, he will completely lose the desire to do something for you and share his experiences. And the phrase “I told you so!” in a split second she can turn her wife into enemy number one.
Be diplomatic and include empathy at least sometimes. Filter your words and emotions, think in advance about the reaction they will cause. Remember - criticism without a request causes nothing but rejection. Your eternal dissatisfaction will eventually lead your husband to think that you feel bad with him. And he will naturally go in search of someone who will appreciate him.
Don't compare him to anyone
Having gotten married, a man wants to finally take a break from eternal competition and feel like the best for his chosen one. Don't deprive him of this pleasure. Talk often about how lucky you are to have him. Let him know that your choice was conscious and you did not doubt it for a minute.
Don’t even mention your ex-men. The husband must be sure that they are all defeated by him and buried in the past. You should also not show excessive sympathy for famous actors, musicians and other media personalities. And even more so, cite them as an example. Otherwise, in response, you may also receive a comparison that is not in your favor.
Don't burden him with jealousy, resentment and whining
Learn to deal with your cockroaches yourself. Your husband is not a nanny to constantly take care of your psychological comfort. Keep all your doubts, fears, grievances out of nowhere and groundless jealousy to yourself. Every time you burden your husband with this, his love for you decreases, at least a little. And this is not an exaggeration.
Therefore, all your words and actions towards your spouse must pass through a strict filter. If you do not have enough strength to cope with accumulated experiences, it is better to share them with a psychologist.
Don't complain about him to your friends and relatives
Never wash dirty linen in public during a conflict. By complaining about what a scoundrel your husband is, you humiliate not only him, but also yourself. After all, this is the person closest to you, an integral part of your life. And since you married him, it was the best option available to you.
Therefore, at the next meeting of the women's council, when all your girlfriends scold their husbands, think carefully. The grievances against your husband will be forgotten, but your loved ones will continue to consider him a scoundrel. Not to mention the fact that your stories may one day become public knowledge. And then you will find yourself in a very sticky situation.
Tell only good things about your spouse, praise him often in front of your friends. People around you will begin to treat your family with even more respect.
I also recommend watching this short video.
Trust your spouse
It is extremely important for every man to realize that his beloved woman believes that he is able to solve any problem. So that he does not doubt his masculinity one bit, let him take care of you, make decisions and bear responsibility.
If you put even the most indecisive and gentle man in such a situation, he will learn to make such decisions and perform such actions so that both you and him feel good.
If you're wondering how to be a better wife, start trusting your spouse. The position “It will be as you decide” will give him strength and destroy his fears of making a mistake.
Author: Elizaveta Bathory
Rule #13: Rules of Sex
Whether you like it or not, whether you think it's fair or not, your sex life is determined by your husband. Whether your husband wants sex all the time or isn't interested in it at all, you'll be much happier if you accommodate him. Don't refuse your husband if he wants sex every night, even if you are a morning person. Don't demand sex from a husband who wants to watch a TV show or read a book after dinner. Go with the flow - whatever it is in your marriage.
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Rule #6: Let him win
You've fallen in love with a mansion you can't afford. He prefers to buy a smaller house so he can have money for furniture and a new car. You want to celebrate your tenth wedding anniversary in Paris according to the first category, he agrees, but does not talk about it again, and the eleventh anniversary is already around the corner. You want to have three children, two is enough for him. Should you insist on your own or let your husband win this argument? The answer is simple: “If it’s not vitally important to you, let your husband win.” Relationships are more important than the satisfaction of having your way. It's better to be happy than always right.
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Always speak calmly
Yelling will not lead to anything good, even if you have good intentions. If you feel that you cannot restrain yourself, at this moment it is better to remain silent at all. Start the conversation after you have calmed down and can calmly express your thoughts. In this way, you will get through to your husband faster and you are more likely to come to a constructive decision, and not just quarrel.
Rule #3: Be a team
For a successful marriage, both spouses should remember: you are now one team. Of course, you need to continue to develop your career, communicate with friends, maintain your own hobbies, but now you need to think in terms of a couple, not an individual. Don't act like you're still single: try to take your partner's feelings and thoughts into account. Before you agree to have dinner and go to the movies with your girlfriend - it’s a big deal for me too! - tell your husband. No, you don't need to ask him for permission. What if he wants to watch this movie with you, and then it’s better to choose another movie to meet his friend.
Consider his opinion when purchasing things and making decisions that affect both of you. For example, before you empty your credit card to buy a bedspread and matching curtains, ask if your husband likes such things. Don't think that men aren't interested in this. You'll be surprised to learn that they have opinions about everything from how much time they spend apart to how they decorate their home.
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Rule #8: Return his gifts less often.
Do not return your husband's gifts, even if you are firmly convinced that you will never use this thing! And if the gift is perfectly acceptable (you just wouldn’t choose that color or design for yourself), say you like it and save it to please your husband. It is better to sacrifice your own taste than to offend your partner.
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Leave your personal space
From time to time, men need to be left “alone.” An ideal wife does not constantly hover over her husband and is able to step aside if necessary. The responsibility placed on the breadwinner of the family requires an expenditure of energy, so sometimes he just wants to spend some time completely alone or with friends.
Often women do not understand this, perceiving such behavior from their lover as a reproach in their direction, considering themselves guilty of removing their husband. Then they begin to pay even more attention to their husband, thereby violating his personal space and gradually destroying the relationship.
Personal space also includes such things as a telephone, a desktop, personal folders on a computer, and a garage. An ideal wife, as a rule, does not touch or clean anything there. Respect for personal territory is an important element of a relationship in a couple.
Pay attention to yourself
You are very lucky if your husband accepts you as you are, but this should not become a reason to become lazy. Walking around the house in dirty clothes, old underwear and stretched sweaters will in no way make you more attractive in the eyes of your spouse.
Activities that every woman should do at least sometimes:
- Visiting spas and beauty salons.
- Manicure.
- Visit to the hairdresser.
- Buying new linen and beautiful clothes.
Such events help strengthen feminine energy, which is transmitted to a man in the form of a great mood. Moreover, seeing how satisfied you are returning home from there, he will definitely want to please you with this again and again.
Among other things, any woman who is interested in how to become an ideal wife must constantly develop herself - study, listen to lectures, read books. If there is nothing to talk to a woman about, after a while even sex ceases to save you.
