How to get your mom's forgiveness if you've done something stupid

The life of any normal person is not complete without conflicts and quarrels. In some cases, we prefer to leave everything as it is and break off the relationship. But what if a clash occurred with the closest and dearest person - your mother?

Unfortunately, mother's love and understanding are not limitless. Sometimes the child’s behavior bothers and hurts a loving heart so much that the mother becomes embittered and does not even want to talk. Below are some tips on how to apologize to your mother so that she not only forgets about the offense, but also begins to trust again.

How to ask your mother for forgiveness?

The best way to apologize is to open your heart to your mother and repent. Every mother, even a very offended and angry one, loves her child deep down. The reluctance to forgive in most cases is caused by the desire to teach a lesson, to make them realize their mistake and reconsider their behavior.

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In order for your mother to forgive, you need to not only apologize, but also explain what made you commit the offense. Even if these are not entirely pure thoughts and intentions, the main thing for the mother is that you were able to recognize them. Learn this lesson and try not to repeat the mistake again. Ask your mother for advice on how she thinks she can prevent such situations and conflicts. This will help you get closer and restore trust.

How to make peace depending on the nature of the conflict

Quarrels are different, just like the characters of mothers. If standard advice is not suitable or does not work, then you need to look for an individual approach. Let's look at the most common conflicts between mothers and children:

Strong quarrel, lies, bad deeds. Obviously, the matter is serious, so it is better not to hope for quick forgiveness and resolution of the situation. Apologize to your mother and offer to correct what you did. For example, if not only she became aware of the lie, admit your guilt to this person and tell the truth. Start helping out more around the house to show how much you value your relationship. Gradually your mother's heart will soften and she will forgive you.
If it's your fault. Even the most shameful act must be recognized. This will determine whether you can overcome the challenge and change for the better, or whether your reputation will be tarnished. Perceive the situation as a disease that needs to be cured by taking a bitter pill (confess and ask for forgiveness).
If it's mom's fault. Sometimes a guy or girl thinks that they are being punished unfairly. For example, that they were delayed on the street. Mothers, in turn, justify even unnecessarily cruel punishment, scolding, by the need to protect and protect. Obviously, in such a situation, both sides are wrong. However, it is harder for adults to apologize because they are afraid of losing authority. To resolve the conflict, you should say something like this: “I’m sorry that this happened. I understand your feelings, it’s very unpleasant for me too. Let’s make peace and try not to let this happen again.”
She doesn't want to talk. Don't insist on talking. Most likely, the mother withdraws from communication so as not to say too much. Give her time to cool down and think about the situation soberly. At this time, do something useful, offer your help in everyday life, think about how you will improve. After a while, come back with an apology.

It is important to understand that mom is the same person, with her own shortcomings and cockroaches in her head. You don't need to demand too much from her. Try to accept her as she is, albeit hot-tempered, even strict, a little unfair. There are no perfect people. Look for compromises - this is the key to a good relationship.

Preventing a quarrel

To ensure comfort and peace in the family, it is important to avoid scandals.

Let's look at what rules need to be followed to avoid conflicts with your mother.

Don't throw a tantrum. Your claims must be reasoned if you want to defend your point of view.
There is no need to use tears to try to evoke a feeling of pity for yourself, or to hope for confirmation that you are right.
Do not be offended and remain silent. This way you will only provoke conflict.
Don't raise your voice. With such behavior you will only show your disrespect, which will anger the parent even more.
When you are offended by your mother, you should not roll your eyes. This is one way to “add fuel to the fire.”

In my youth, not wanting to argue with my mother, I simply stopped talking to her. However, this method was unsuccessful. My silence only angered my mother more and provoked her into a scandal.

What to do if you didn’t manage to make peace the first time

Write a letter. Just it shouldn’t be an SMS or an email. Write it down on paper. Words must be written carefully. You can attach your drawing to the letter if you think you are good at drawing. For example, there might be an apology from a daughter like this to her mother: “Dear mom, I understand that you are upset because I made a mess in the room. I know that the house must be clean, and you spend a lot of time cleaning. I promise to keep it clean from now on and help you with cleaning. I love you very much and I hope that you forgive me. With love, your daughter."
There may be an apology in prose, or you can try to come up with a poem. You don't have to be a great poet to come up with an apologetic quatrain.
Arrange a surprise. Surely you know what your mother likes. If you know she loves apple pie, have a tea party for her and try to talk, admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness. It’s unlikely that mom will be able to resist.
Understand that sometimes forgiveness takes time.

How to calm your mother when she swears and cries

Talk to her calmly

If your mother has come to tears, then you probably understand that she is really very upset and it is not easy for her to cope with the situation emotionally. Answering her in a similar tone is unlikely to improve the situation. Answer calmly, but this calmness should be sympathetic, but not indifferent or distant. Perhaps mom needs to speak out - don’t try to interrupt her. However, during pauses, choose the most necessary words that suit the situation.

Hug, kiss

However, more often than not, upset mothers need more than just words, but to improve their relationship with their child. She is unlikely to pull away if you hug or kiss her in a moment of emotional weakness. However, even if this happens, and she brushes aside your expressions of tenderness, do not even doubt that her soul will become much easier, and with your gesture you will only improve the situation.

Say that you appreciate and love him very much

It is important for a mother to hear words of love from her child - such confessions are never superfluous! It often seems to parents that their children do not appreciate all the sacrifices they make for their children, or do not even notice them. Perhaps there is also such a problem in your relationship with your mother? Tell your mom that you see how much she does for you and really appreciate her efforts.

Get creative

You can come up with so many ways to beautifully apologize to your mother. Stretch your imagination, and something unusual will definitely come to mind.

For example, you can record a staged video in which you turn your whole soul inside out and tell how bad your words are now. Don't forget to tell your mom how dear and loved she is to you. Set it with beautiful background music.

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If you have non-conflict neighbors in your yard, then you can use this option: draw your apology on the road in front of the house. It would be nice if the windows looked directly onto this place, and mom could see everything right away. Words should be readable and beautifully designed. If you are good at drawing, you can even try to draw graffiti.

Poets, in moments of sadness and melancholy, take up a piece of paper and sometimes create real masterpieces. Dare you too! Perhaps you do not have the gift of poetry and do not know how to write huge poems, but this is not required - everyone can come up with at least four lines. This is another good way to apologize to your mother. Mommy will definitely be surprised by your creative abilities and will instantly forgive everything.

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Honor your parents

The past can both take energy from us and give us strength. If you have unforgiven grievances or feelings of guilt for having offended someone, then you are probably having problems in the present. The people who symbolize the past for us are our parents. If you are offended by them for something and cannot forgive them, then the energy support of your family and the Universe is closed. This can affect your children too. For example, if in your family grievances against men are repeated from generation to generation, then the flow of male energy stops and, as a result, success in many activities is impossible; Women’s personal lives do not work out; diseases appear that are localized on the right side of the body.

Buddha said that even if we serve our parents all our lives, we will not have enough time to repay our debt to them. If you feel like your parents are living wrong, remember that they gave you life. We are given the parents we deserve, and those who are best suited for working out karmic tasks. In Russia, respect for parents has been eradicated for many years.

It was believed that in order to serve the homeland one could abandon one’s relatives. But this is disrespect for the family. Many of us think that our parents are too conservative and do not accept new knowledge. But think about what many religions say: “Honor your father and mother.” Honor them without any strings attached!

Why is it hard to apologize?

We can talk at length about the benefits of asking for forgiveness. Prepare a speech in poetry or beg him. All this is useless if you don't have the right attitude. The difficulty is this:

Pride and selfishness can become an obstacle to reconciliation. It is pride that makes a person think: “Why me? He is also wrong." Everyone is waiting for the first step from the other, and resentment can develop into hatred. To break this vicious circle, you need to calm down and analyze what you did wrong and how you can correct the situation. The quality of humility will help with this. Is it unfashionable now? Yes, many people think so, but we are talking about relationships with loved ones. The majority opinion should not affect your decisions. There is no shame in admitting that you are wrong; your family and friends will appreciate it.
Education also plays a significant role. If as a child you did not hear the words “sorry” from your dad and mom, then this will be difficult for you too. This requires awareness of this fact and work on yourself. Try to “step on” yourself once and apologize, you will feel light in your soul and in your relationships. Next time asking for forgiveness will not be difficult. Come up with an apology in verse, this will help smooth out the tension.
The right infusion. How necessary it is. Often people think: “If I ask for forgiveness, then I will make it clear that I am guilty and show my weakness.” This opinion is wrong. Agree, at least two people are involved in a quarrel. Do you want to say that you didn’t say too much or didn’t show disdain with your icy silence? You yourself know that there is a share of your fault.

Steps

Sincerely apologize

Apologize to your mom personally.

Don't send apologies via text message or email. A conversation with your mother in a tense situation will, of course, be difficult, but this way you will show that your words of apology are sincere.

Be sincere.

Speak in a respectful tone, clearly and clearly. If you mutter something under your breath, most likely your mother will not believe in your sincerity.

If you don't know how to start, try saying this: “I'm really sorry I upset you. I shouldn't have gotten into a fight. I will work on myself and try to become better. I hope you forgive me."

Tell the truth.
You may be tempted to lie to your mom, but believe me, it's not worth it. You may make the situation worse. If you are caught lying, you will not be able to escape punishment. You will have more troubles and it will be difficult for you to achieve your mother's forgiveness.
Don't talk to your mom when she's angry.
Give the feelings a chance to subside. Approach her later when she has calmed down and cooled down a bit. The most important thing is not to argue, this will only make things worse.
Choose the right time.
Don't try to improve your relationship with your mom while she's busy doing something, like cooking dinner. Approach her when she is free and ask if you can talk to her.
Be prepared to understand your mother if she doesn't want to listen to you. She may not want to discuss this issue with you. Wait a little and approach her again with words of apology.

Don't wait too long.

Remember, everything has its time. If you wait too long, your mother may think that you are not ashamed of what you did.

Listen to what she says.

Listen carefully to her and try to understand her point of view, why she thinks you did wrong. If you understand why your action hurt her so much, you can gain her forgiveness. Try to put yourself in her place. She wants you to grow up to be a responsible person, so she gets very upset when you act contrary to her expectations.

Don't mention past actions when talking to your mom.

Don't mention what your brother did in the past or what situation happened a few months ago. You will only remind her of other unpleasant events and make her even angrier.

For example, don't say, “But you didn't punish my sister last week for coming home late! Why are you angry with me and not with her?” Mentioning a past incident will only make the situation worse. Instead, try saying, “I know you're angry with me, and I really shouldn't have come home so late. I sincerely regret that I did this.”

Don't make excuses.

Making excuses undermines the sincerity of your words of apology. This shows that you are shifting the blame onto someone or something else. You have to admit that you did something wrong if you want your mom to forgive you.

For example, you shouldn’t say: “And I didn’t come back that late. I just couldn’t leave my friend alone.” Instead, say the following: “I know I came late and I’m really sorry. Next time I will pay more attention to the time and will not make the same mistake.”

Try to correct the error.

The best thing you can do is try to fix the situation.

For example, if you break something, try to fix the broken thing. If you yelled at your sister, be kind to her.

Apologize in writing.

This tip may conflict with the first tip in this article, “Apologize to Mom in Person,” but it is possible to apologize in writing in addition to a personal apology. Do not send the message by email or telephone. Write a handwritten letter saying that you are very sorry for your mistake and will not repeat it in the future. To write a note by hand, you will need time to think. Most likely, your mother will appreciate your efforts. If you draw well, you can draw something that will evoke pleasant emotions in your mother.

You can write a note that reads: “Dear Mom, I know that you are very upset that I fought with my sister. I know that you really want me to have a strong relationship with your sister. I love her, even though sometimes she really annoys me. I understand that I am older than her and therefore I should not react when she deliberately tries to piss me off. Also, having a strong relationship with someone requires effort. This will be useful to me in my future life. I will do my best to improve my relationship with my sister and maintain a peaceful relationship with her. I love you very much and hope for your forgiveness. With love, your son."

Understand that forgiveness takes time.

Sometimes, your mother can forgive you very quickly, but in some cases it may take time. In fact, according to psychologists, there are stages of forgiveness. Mom may deny what happened, feel angry, and also depressed. She may then accept the situation and forgive you. Don't expect her to go through all the above mentioned stages. Your goal is to work on yourself to gain her forgiveness and gain her trust.

Remember that your mother is not perfect either.

She also has the right to make mistakes. Therefore, she may be more angry with you than you deserve.

Sometimes mom can be upset for other reasons. Your action may only be part of her bad mood. Just as you might take your anger out on your little sister, a mom might have trouble dealing with her emotions if she's had a bad day or week.

Show respect

Show that you are listening.
When your mother talks to you, listen to her carefully and do not be insolent in response. Admit that you made a mistake and she has the right to reprimand you for your action.
Don't ignore her.
She wants to help you. If your mom wants to talk to you, take the time to listen to her. Be prepared to respond to her and be sure to take time to reflect on her words. You can assure her at the end of your conversation that a similar incident will not happen again. This will let your mom know that your apology is sincere.
Speak in a respectful tone.
When answering your mother's questions, do so in a respectful manner. Answer calmly and honestly.
- For example, if your mother asks: “What were you thinking when you did that?”, you should not answer her sarcastically: “I guess I’m an idiot and didn’t understand what I was doing.” You might say, “I don’t think I thought before I made my decision. Next time I will be more reasonable."
Agree with the punishment.
This will show that you respect your mother's decision.
Act like an adult.
Don't be rude or say offensive words. Don't stomp your feet or slam doors. You will only make the situation worse. Mom will be even more angry with you, and you will regret what you did.
- In addition, your mother will appreciate that you are acting like an adult and will forgive you much faster.

Don't avoid your mom if you've done something bad. However, if she is very annoyed with you and does not want to see you, give her some time to be alone.
Enlist the support of your dad or siblings. Sometimes they can talk to their mother and ask her to forgive you.
Never yell at your mom.
If you have done something that you regret, you should not cry; tears will not solve anything. In this situation, it is better to show through your positive actions that you are ready to change. Your mother will certainly notice the changes. Also, be sure to apologize to her. Although she may not believe your words, she still wants to hear them from you. And don't forget, actions always speak louder than words. Therefore, work on yourself!
Remember, mom loves you. Tell her that you love her very much too.
Don't be insolent. Otherwise, you will have to wait a very long time for forgiveness.
If you did something wrong, talk to your mom about it! This will help her understand your point of view.
Be polite to her.
Don't leave in a fit of anger. Talk to mom.
Give her a gift or write a card saying you're sorry.
If you ask for forgiveness, don't say, "I know you're mad at me." It's the same as saying: "This is showing you that you don't love me." These words will upset her even more. Better to say: “I know you are disappointed with my actions. Please forgive me. You can do that?"
Help her when she needs it. Be sure to help your mother do household chores. This will show that you have learned an important lesson from the situation.
Go together to your favorite place where it will be easy for you to forgive each other, for example, it could be the beach.
Do what will make her happy. She will definitely appreciate it.
Don't say apologies too often. This may make her angry and she won't believe what you say.
If you feel like your mom scolds you too often, talk to her about it. Of course, you don't want your mom to be upset, but in this case, talking can help improve your relationship.
For example, if you eat someone's dish, prepare the same and give it to the person for whom it was intended.
Do or buy her something to apologize for your bad behavior. This will show that you are very upset about what happened.
Don't interrupt her if she's still talking.
Stay calm when talking to her.
If you are arguing about something minor, like who will go to the bathroom first, tell your mom that you are in a hurry. If that doesn't work, give her space.
Apologize, but don't overdo it.
Help your mom around the house by doing things she doesn't ask you to do. However, be sure to make her notice your actions. She will definitely smile, perhaps without saying anything. But if you don't do it, for example, don't wash the dishes, don't vacuum, don't wash your clothes, she will still be angry with you.
Give mom a gift.
Make sure she is not upset for any other reason.
Ask your mother not to discuss your quarrel with other members of your family.
Give mom some time to calm down. Later, you can come up and discuss the problem with her.
Don't ask her for anything for a couple of days.
If you're arguing... don't shout. Keep calm. Wait for mom to express her opinion, then you can answer her.

We offend our mothers' relatives a lot. They cry, sitting on the bench, It’s time to learn to say this to us: “I’m wrong, forgive me, mommy!”

And her smile is beyond praise. In a family photo, in a frame. You will be the best child if you said: “Forgive me, I love you, mommy!”

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