Every girl in her life has had such situations when she was anxiously awaiting the next call from her loved one, even a short message, but he still didn’t come. Women are confused and do not understand what is happening. What to do if a man doesn’t call or write, and what this could mean.
Before you make a drastic decision to break up or get offended by a man because of his silence, think about why the young man disappeared from the network. Let's look at the 8 most common reasons for the lack of messages and calls from guys.
Busy
Active men cannot stand still; they strive to develop financially, intellectually, and be the center of attention of friends and family. This type of guy attracts women more often, but getting their full attention is very difficult. A girl should strive for her lover, run his marathon with him in the same rhythm.
Many ladies perceive being busy at work or at university as a childish excuse, but this is wrong. Men by nature are focused on social activity; they need time free from relationships to solve their problems.
In this case, the duration of the disappearance matters. If a man doesn’t call for 1-2 days, relax and wait for him to appear. If a guy doesn't think about you for a week, think about whether you really have love.
What to do
Resentment over temporary disappearance from the network, hysterics are inappropriate. You need to learn to wait, but also not to forget to unobtrusively remind yourself.
Use the following tips:
- Don’t torment yourself with thoughts: “Why doesn’t he call me or write to me?” Ask about the reasons for the silence later, when the man is free to communicate with you.
- Mind your own business: go to a meeting with friends, re-read books that have been waiting on the shelf for a long time, do some general cleaning of the house.
- After a couple of days, unobtrusively remind yourself. Write a greeting in SMS or messenger, ask how things are going, offer help in solving problems.
- If a man responded with a short message, promising to find time to communicate as soon as possible, write that you miss him and say goodbye affectionately. Complete the correspondence here.
On a note! Maintaining a relationship with a workaholic is difficult. Perhaps you will be provided with everything financially, but you will receive negligible affection, love, and attention. If this type of man does not suit you, it is better to immediately abandon the relationship and reclassify the guy as an ex.
It's about the man himself
Many representatives of the stronger sex, despite their power and masculinity, are shy and unsure of themselves. It seems to them that the woman they like will simply ridicule him or not appreciate his feelings. This category of men will provide minimal signs of attention and then only from afar.
Another reason is also possible. The guy may have just recently experienced a breakup after a long relationship and is not ready to start a new romance. In time-out mode, he suddenly meets you and even falls in love. He is torn by a feeling of longing for his former passion, but on the other hand, he is already obsessed with you. In this case, show your own initiative.
There are timid guys; this type will never write first. He will most likely put hearts under photos on social networks, you can’t count on more. In this way he expresses sympathy and waits for your first step. If you decide to send a sweet message yourself, the answer will not take long to come.
Article on the topic: what to write to a guy you like?
Something happened
The guy stopped writing and calling for objective reasons: he got sick, suddenly went on a business trip where there was no connection with the outside world, he lost his phone number. Unfortunately, not every man is attentive enough to think about a girl’s feelings. Especially if you have only recently met.
What to do
- Don't act like a little girl: don't fantasize about horrors and tragedies. Your man will soon show up on his own; you shouldn’t write first in such a situation.
- Wait for the message. When a guy calls or writes, try not to argue or quarrel.
- Ask about the reason for the absence. If a man refuses to answer, do not insist. He has the right to keep a secret.
Calling a girl before a sudden trip or business trip is a good sign to check the relationship between lovers. If a guy finds a couple of minutes to talk, it means he really cares about you.
He disappeared after an argument - what to do?
They say that real men don't get offended. These are all prejudices. A man is the same person, he has feelings, emotions, he can be hurt, offended, greatly upset or disappointed.
If a guy stopped calling and texting after a quarrel, he is probably experiencing negative emotions and does not want to communicate with you.
What to do in such a situation?
First, analyze which of you was wrong. Perhaps you were the initiator of the quarrel and undeservedly offended him. In this case, an apology will not be superfluous. if a man is easy-going, he will forgive you and you will make peace.
But it is possible that the guy is a cunning manipulator. He can create reasons for quarrels himself, and then pretend to be offended, playing “silent”, without calling or sending any messages.
Does he need this for him? So, he is trying to make you feel guilty. When you rush to call him and ask for forgiveness, he will quietly begin to put forward conditions, adjusting you to himself. Narcissistic men often use these techniques.
It is worth being careful and objectively assessing the quarrel that has occurred, otherwise you can fall for cunning tricks and become a victim of the narcissist, from whom he will gradually suck all the energy and literally trample on him psychologically.
Therefore, the best tactic here would be to cool your mind and weigh the situation without emotions. You only need to apologize if you truly admit that you were wrong. In other cases, the man must ask for forgiveness himself if he wants to continue the relationship.
Question for a psychologist:
Hello! I met a man at a friends event. The evening in the company was fun. But nothing happened - they just chatted and joked. We exchanged phone numbers. The man promised to call and didn’t call, a week has passed, how should I react?
Psychologist's answer:
Why, in general, react somehow? It was a non-binding acquaintance in a relaxed atmosphere. Nothing happened between you except flirting, which also means nothing.
The man promised something, but did not fulfill his promise. Do you want a man who doesn't keep his promises?
It seems that you have overestimated casual acquaintance. This is typical for women. Move on with your life and don't think about him. Perhaps he no longer remembers you, and you are toiling and waiting. If I wanted to, I would call immediately, within 1-2 days. And since he hasn’t called all week, the answer is obvious.
Not interested
The man is not too fascinated by his new acquaintance. He does not want to fool her and continue communication out of politeness. An experienced woman will notice a lack of interest a couple of days after online communication or on the first date by the following signs:
- The guy answers questions in monosyllables, reluctantly.
- Doesn't invite you on a date, doesn't ask for your phone number.
- If the date has taken place, then the man does not agree on the next meeting, he is clearly bored.
- Does not ask questions, does not take the initiative to continue communication.
- Constantly talks about his ex. Probably, feelings for her have not cooled down yet.
A man's disinterest in a woman does not call into question her beauty and intelligence. You might not agree on interests, tastes, or temperaments. There is nothing to be upset or cry about here.
What to do
You just need to come to terms with the fact that a man is not fascinated by you. You shouldn't be actively interested in yourself; you shouldn't impose yourself. Start looking for another guy.
To cope with this unpleasant situation, use the advice of psychologists:
- Let go of false hopes. Don't think about how to please this person. Never expect a call or SMS from him, try to forget your new acquaintance.
- Start your day on a positive note. Tune in for the best, don’t let sad thoughts enter your soul.
- Remove his number from your phone, his account from your list of friends in instant messengers, VK.
- Make a tight schedule of classes for a couple of weeks: go to visit, go to the gym for training.
- Actively meet new guys, but don't make long-term plans for a relationship.
Tired of waiting, girls often use fortune telling to find the reason for male silence. Coffee, cards, witches, horoscopes. Whether you will receive a truthful answer to all questions is unknown. But magical rituals will definitely distract you from sad thoughts, at least for a short time.
An experiment codenamed “The Man Doesn’t Call.” How we checked Lisa Volkova's recommendations
I'm a skeptic and love proven techniques. Therefore, I decided to try these rules of Lisa in practice. My husband glanced disapprovingly in my direction: the thought of an experimental date did not inspire him, of course. And then I turned to my other friend, Elena.
Lena just recently met Kirill, a new colleague from another office. A spark ran between them, and now a date was set. I suggested that Lena conduct an experiment if Kirill suddenly didn’t call back after the date. And she agreed.
The first experience turned out to be successful - for me. Not so good for Lena, because Kirill didn’t call her either the evening after the date or the next day.
And then we started with Lisa’s first two recommendations: put down the phone and take care of yourself.
We went for a pedicure together, then walked and chatted all day (not about Kirill). My friend's mood definitely lifted. And by evening she even stopped looking at her phone.
The next day Lena went to visit her grandmother. She loved to go there, but rarely got the chance. I returned inspired, and in the evening I went to a jazz concert.
In the morning we called each other - Lena was in a great mood. She said that she didn’t even think about Kirill all evening.
Then we moved on to recommendations 3 and 4 - creating intention and right thoughts.
Lena wrote in her diary: “Kirill is bored and calls me with joy and pleasure.” She said that when she wrote this, she thought: “How could it be otherwise? Let’s miss a girl like that!” Then I imagined his call and felt a trembling inside. She realized that everything would be as she dreams.
And calmly went to the gym.
Withstands pauses
The guy doesn’t call or write to create intrigue, “marinate” the girl or think about whether he needs a relationship with this lady. A man does not behave this way to make a girl angry. He is guided by other considerations: he wants to get bored himself and intensify passions.
What to do
Psychologists advise doing this with a manipulative guy:
- Answer calls and letters after a long break in communication with restraint.
- There is no need to ask where he went, no matter how much you might want to. Pretend as if you didn’t notice his absence from the network at all.
- In a couple of days, disappear the same way, teach your loved one a lesson. You should not ignore a guy’s messages for more than 1-2 days, otherwise he may seriously think that you have broken up.
Doesn't see the result of his courtship
Guys love beautiful and inaccessible: This is what many girls think and create a mask on their face “don’t interfere, they’ll kill you.” Well, young people don’t “fit in,” but she, in fact, wants attention and communication. How will he understand if she makes it clear with all her appearance and behavior that “closed”?
Of course, young people can remember that “the city takes courage” and bravely rush at the external indifference and coldness of a girl, but why do guys need this, because there are many who are open and friendly. Sometimes a sporting interest kicks in, whether I can do it or not. But you have to pay for communicating with such a young lady, like everything else in this world, for example, time, mental effort, etc. And the result is far from obvious.
The girls are left alone and ask themselves: why? Yes, because no matter how attractive you are, if “unavailable” is written on your face, then for young people this means access has been denied in advance. If the door is closed, don’t break in, persistently look for the open door. So they don’t break. And she was already daydreaming, the guy showed interest, but, faced with apparent inaccessibility, disappeared.
Perhaps you have shown yourself to be too proud and unapproachable Photo: pixabay.comThe winners are girls who may not have the most attractive appearance, but are friendly and sociable. It seems that, at first glance, she is “no good”, but the guys are constantly hanging around her, taking her into their company, courting her. And then the other girls get jealous, but continue to wear a sign on their foreheads that says “don’t interfere, he’ll kill you.” Maybe it's time to change the sign?
No money
A young man may not write or call after a couple of real meetings if he is having financial difficulties. Not every guy can walk with a girl through the streets of the city without a penny in his pocket and keep her interested, so many prefer to disappear for a while without explaining the reason.
What to do
If you understand exactly what the reason is for being ignored, we advise you to do this:
- Call the guy first.
- Strike up a casual conversation. Tell him you want to refund him half of the dinner he paid for at the last meeting. The guy will most likely refuse, then take the initiative into your own hands.
- Ask a man out on a date, but agree that today you pay.
- In the evening, gently bring up the topic of money. Say that restaurants and gifts are not important to you. Hint that there is nothing more valuable than his loving glance, hugs, and pleasant words.
The guy is not sure about your feelings
Men are freedom-loving creatures and when they start an affair, at first they try not to plunge headlong into the pool. They check their feelings for a long time and when they are convinced that they really have fallen in love, they wait for confirmation of sincere feelings on the other side. Being rejected is the worst thing that can happen to a guy. Before becoming persistent and taking initiative, a man will prefer to double-check whether you really like him as much as he likes you.
Do you know how to flirt with a guy by correspondence?
Offended
This option is possible even after a first date or online communication. It’s easy to offend a man’s ego if we touch on the following topics:
- A man will not forgive anyone for ridiculing tears, vulnerability, or fears.
- Comparisons with other guys, exes (not in favor of the interlocutor).
- Discussion of his shortcomings in a bantering, harsh manner.
- Showing dissatisfaction after intimacy, ambiguous jokes.
- Stories about what your girlfriends think about him. Of course, all women discuss boyfriends and husbands with their friends, but it is not necessary to tell a man about this.
- Demonstration of intellectual, physical superiority on the part of a woman. This is a powerful blow to a man’s pride; he wants to be the first in everything.
Another one appeared
This is the most tragic answer to the question: “Why doesn’t the guy write or call?” While the young lady doesn’t let go of her phone and constantly checks social networks for new messages, the man is texting or meeting a new acquaintance.
What to do
If the chosen one has another woman, nothing needs to be done. Why do you need a man who quickly switches his attention from one female person to another. The appearance of another girl suggests that the guy did not love you with all his soul. Why hold him back and worry? Move on, look for real love, not fiction.
That’s what men say: she’s “loading.” But he didn’t get hired as a “loader”
Every person has their own fairy tale about what love and love relationships should be like. For example, all little girls know that the most beautiful event in life is a wedding. They look at the happy bride and understand that this is love. And the best doll in the same beautiful dress. This is how fairy tales of love are created.
For girls , in general terms, beautiful love can look like this: he is courageous, confident, strong, in personal communication he is affectionate and gentle, not like everyone else, he knows how to look after beautifully, you can be reliable, warm and interesting with him. He is successful in business, has a good sense of humor and is only interested in her, while other girls simply make him sick.
For men, it’s simpler : she’s sexy and available to him, and love and relationships can come later, well, or in the process, the main thing is that the young lady doesn’t overwhelm her with tears, claims, whims, and snotty romance. So this is the most urgent expectation of men - that a woman does not “load”: before sex, after sex, instead of sex. Most women do not live up to men's fairy tales and expectations. And rightly so, they have their own needs, young people are ready to put up with it, but when there is no sex or it is bad and the young lady is very “burdened”, then the man simply disappears.
These are a few main reasons and they are not the ultimate truth. However, if you don’t argue with the above, but think about it - how is my life? - then you can draw many useful conclusions for yourself.
Tags: girls, couple relationships, love relationships, sex
He is married
An unexpected meeting or online acquaintance with a married man is not uncommon. And girls are not always aware of the marital status of a new acquaintance.
Dizzying sex, kisses, passionate SMS drove the guy crazy, and he forgot, on purpose or by accident, to tell him that he was married. After a few dates or chatting online, he disappeared, and thank God.
Married men stop calling or writing for several reasons:
- Communication was interrupted by the legal spouse. Now the phone and accounts on WhatsApp and VK are under strict control. The man will definitely not get in touch for a long time.
- The guy realized that he was making a mistake. He is ashamed in front of his wife and children. He is not obliged to explain anything to his new acquaintance.
- A married man was drunk, he felt lonely, or he had a huge quarrel with his wife. The guy made a new acquaintance by chance; in the morning, when he was sober, he decided “not to misbehave” anymore.
What to do
Close communication with a married man is unacceptable for a decent girl. You need to tune in to the breakup and ignore messages that may arrive after a long time.
So, now you know what to do if a guy doesn’t write and why this happens. Remember that men are built differently. They can disappear for several days without good reason and not feel guilty for remaining silent. And women at this moment find no place to worry and worry. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is calm down and wait 2-3 days, and not call 10 times a day to get an explanation.
Reasons why a man stopped calling
In fact, a man may have a lot of reasons not to call or write to a girl. And among them there are both good reasons and not.
Good reasons
- The list of good reasons is headed by the same rush at work: submitting reports, closing a quarter or year, an unexpected business trip that requires the concentration of all the man’s resources, and so on. A man, unlike a woman, is not used to doing a hundred things at once. This girl can simultaneously answer messages, adjust her lipstick and drive, as if this is how it should be. And the man is used to focusing on one thing. If he works, then he works, and is not distracted by all sorts of trifles in the form of love messages, since for this he must switch from work to correspondence and vice versa. Therefore, if a lover in a nascent or already existing relationship suddenly disappeared from all radars (the man stopped calling, writing and ignored incoming messages), this does not mean at all that he forgot about the girl and does not want to continue any relationship with her. Perhaps he is really busy. One or two days. Edge - a week. If he doesn’t show up within a week, then this is a reason to sound the alarm and understand that the man does not want to continue communication.
- Something happened to the man. Someone close to you got sick or, God forbid, died. He himself had an accident, fell down with an attack of appendicitis, or something extraordinary happened, because of which he really cannot get in touch, call or write. The most banal thing: he lost his phone and didn’t remember the girl’s number by heart. In this case, the missing person will definitely show up in a few days and apologize profusely to the lady of his heart.
- The man took a time out to think about his feelings and his attitude towards the girl. He just decided to step aside for a while and sort himself out. Perhaps his feelings turned out to be unexpectedly deep even for himself, and he did not plan to start a serious relationship. Or, on the contrary, he realized that the girl was determined to start a family and marry him, but he was not ready for this yet.
- The man burned out. He realized that he no longer had any feelings for the girl and decided to withdraw himself so as not to offend her with words. Not quite the right tactic, but effective in most cases. A wise girl, who will not have news of her lover for a long time, will understand that he left her, and he will not have to explain anything. Moreover, he himself may appear in her life in the near future, having seen that her partner took the blow with dignity, does not bombard him with messages and continues to live her life, as if she doesn’t care about him at all.
An addicted girl will rush to bombard the man with a mass of messages, asking what happened, why he doesn’t answer and write, which will only convince the young man of the correctness of his choice.
Not valid reasons
- A man manipulates a girl. The reasons for this behavior can be both a man’s lack of self-confidence, as well as selfishness and the desire to tie a girl to himself, even if he only needs her for one night. In conquering the object of sympathy, he uses the “closer-further” technique, so often advertised by various pick-up artists and NLP psychologists. Oddly enough, this method really works, forming anchors and attachment to a man in a girl. Using this technique, the man either gives attention to the girl, then suddenly completely disappears from her horizon. After a while he appears again and everything starts all over again. The girl is hooked, and then everything depends on the man: whether he will leave her when the game gets boring, or start a serious relationship with her.
- The man is a Don Juan by nature. He started a relationship, showered the girl with attention and gifts just to seduce her, and after he got her, he was no longer interested. And, in order not to waste more of his time on an already conquered person, he simply withdraws himself. He is not ready to stoop to parting and hear reproaches addressed to him, so he prefers to leave in English, that is, quietly and without explanation. Moreover, he immediately switches to a new object of sympathy, not considering it necessary to respond to messages from that girl who was just one of many passions in his long list of conquests, next to whose name he put a plus sign and conveniently forgot.
- The man wanted to check if the girl still loved him and belonged to him. This reason applies to the situation when ex-lovers meet. At first, old feelings could flare up again, but after a short time the man realized that he was not interested in his ex-girlfriend. Moreover, at this moment he may already have a new passion, with which everything is fine with him. And the ex-girlfriend was of interest only for a while, since he needed to receive a new dose of adrenaline to defuse an existing relationship. And no one has canceled the instinct of possessiveness. After the man is convinced that his ex-lover still has tender feelings for him, he becomes bored and withdraws from her life. But not completely. The man stops calling and writing without explaining the reasons, so that, if necessary, he can return to his ex-girlfriend at any time when something goes wrong in the new relationship. So he prepares a safety cushion for himself: he doesn’t seem to be holding the girl, but he doesn’t let her go either. At the same time, he is sure that she will accept him, as she did the second time.
- The man is married or has a regular girlfriend, but he chose to hide this from the object of his infatuation. Men are polygamous by nature; not all of them, of course, are faithful and respectful of their partners. But in most cases, married men are not averse to courting the girl they like, despite their obligations to their spouses that constrain them. This is how men prove to themselves that they are still worth something, that women still line up in front of them. When men achieve their goal and receive the girl on a silver platter, she ceases to be of interest to them. They don’t want to spoil family relationships, and they have no obligations to their new partner. So that the unsuspecting girl does not inadvertently disturb his established family life, the man speaks in English. He blacklists the girl and disappears from her horizon.
- A man needs an alternate airfield until he has had enough time and chooses one and only lady from all the contenders for his heart. Men love female attention. And if a man is also successful and handsome, then he hardly needs female company. The girls are already laid out in stacks in front of him, all that remains is to choose only the most worthy of them all. He chooses if girls allow him to behave like this. A man can disappear, stop calling and writing to check how strongly the girl he likes has fallen for him, and then appear again. Or not, because he continued his search further.
- The man is a narcissist. He looks like a Don Juan, only unlike the latter, who may well fall in love and settle down over time, he doesn’t care at all about the girl and her feelings. He thinks only about himself and his pleasure. His credo: came - conquered - left. If such a type marries, then the marriage will bring a lot of torment to his chosen one. A man will think only about himself and his ego and will not respect his wife and take into account her interests. Therefore, if such a man stops calling, you can breathe out and relax. You have avoided the worst mistake of your life.
The list of reasons why a man suddenly disappeared from all radars and does not get in touch with a girl can go on and on, it all depends on the circumstances and thoughts of each individual. Only a man who disappeared for good reasons can be called a person.
