Is this dominance in psychology and management? Is submission in psychology and negotiations? Definitions. Causes. Examples of negotiations.
Hello, dear negotiators!
Often in our lives situations arise when we are faced with either dominance or subordination of people.
Ranked confrontations sometimes arise automatically even in harmless everyday situations. And it will be great if we can make an accurate diagnosis of the situation in a short time in order to promptly choose ways to resolve difficulties in communication and not drive the situation into a dead end. Therefore, let's look at the basic things in negotiations and answer the question: “What is dominance and submission in communications between people?”
Block 1. Dominance. Definition.
Domination is a complex of interactive technologies in the form of an order, direction, assignment, instruction, reflecting a person’s intention to subjugate an opponent to his will.
The use of dominance techniques can be considered as a suitable tool in negotiations in order to test the possibility of moving the position of the opposite party. Domination is effective if the opponent manifests himself as a weak personality or assesses the current situation as a threat of losing a particularly valuable target resource, and therefore chooses to temporarily give up “freedom of choice.” A professional negotiator knows how to use dominance technologies and at the same time be a non-dominant person.
This is the locus. The meaning of the word "locus"
- Locus (Latin locus - place) in genetics means the location of a specific gene on the genetic or cytological map of a chromosome. A variant of the DNA sequence at a given locus is called an allele. An ordered list of loci for a genome is called a genetic map. Gene mapping is the identification of a locus for a specific biological trait. Diploid or polyploid cells that carry the same alleles at any locus are called homozygous for that locus, and those that carry different alleles are called heterozygous.
Block 2. Dominance. Characteristic.
A dominant person in the eyes of other people is an independent, aggressive, stubborn, rigid, assertive, authoritarian, strong-willed, strong-willed, with high self-esteem, persistent, independent, willful, stubborn, persistent, inflexible, stubborn, unshakable, wayward, unyielding, uncompromising , intractable, stubborn, rough, unyielding, etc.
If the negotiator has determined the opposite side to be dominant, then sometimes it is useful to give in or simply leave the “ STAGE ”, following the principle “why hit the wall.”
There are a wide variety of verbal and non-verbal techniques used in dominance. Verbal markers are orders, coercion, suggestions, threats, ultimatums . Some of the most common words when addressing the opposite side are: must, must, should, must, necessary, required, etc.
With actual dominance, the subject views the other individual as an impersonal resource of help, i.e. as an object.
A true Dominant is not interested in examining in his opponent the traits of another person who has his own inner world, his own values, desires, expectations, ideas, etc.
A true Dominant is not interested in seeing in front of him a subject who is involved in other interpersonal interactions, that he has certain social roles, that this person can be a parent, a child, a musician, an athlete, etc.
A true Dominant is not interested in the human component in the subject. The opponent is interesting from a purely utilitarian standpoint.
The suppressed have resources in the form of differentiated potentials : strength, intelligence, abilities, knowledge, experience, skills, etc. A specific applied aspect is the object of potential exploitation by the dominant. In addition, the suppressed one in the role of “ GUARDIAN ” is able to provide access to target resources to the dominant.
When interacting, the dominant relies on help resources: higher social status, situations of corporate subordination, physical strength, high self-esteem, loud voice, tall height, age, presence of status items, weapons, etc.
The dominant is surrounded by a halo of his “greatness”. Accordingly, all the accompanying tinsel is most often created by the dominant himself and is reinforced by his “retinue,” while “the balloon is inflated by popular gossip.” It often turns out that “the king has no clothes”!
Dominance implies imperative influence. It manifests itself both during a forceful seizure and during negotiations. Dominance presupposes a top-down type of interaction. The dominant does not offer cooperation, but imposes the terms of interaction.
This is variability. Subject . Variability of organisms.
Variability, its types and types.
Genetics studies not only the phenomena of heredity, but also the variability of organisms. Variability is the property of living things to change, expressed in the ability to acquire new characteristics or lose old ones. The causes of variability are the diversity of genotypes and environmental conditions that determine the diversity in the manifestation of traits in organisms with the same genotypes.
VARIABILITY
The formation of various types of variability is a consequence of the interaction of the external environment and genotype.
Characteristics of phenotypic variability.
Phenotypic variability is changes in the phenotype that occur under the influence of environmental conditions and do not affect the genotype, although the degree of their severity is determined by the genotype.
Ontogenetic variability is a constant change in characteristics during the development of an individual (ontogenesis of amphibians, insects, development of morphophysiological and mental characteristics in humans).
Modifying variability is phenotypic changes that occur as a result of the influence of environmental factors on the organism.
Modification variability is determined by the genotype. Modifications are not inherited and are seasonal and environmental.
Seasonal modifications are genetically determined changes in characteristics as a result of seasonal changes in climatic conditions.
Ecological modifications are adaptive changes in phenotype in response to changing environmental conditions. Phenotypically, they manifest themselves in the degree of expression of the trait. Ecological modifications affect quantitative (weight of animals, offspring) and qualitative (color of human skin under the influence of UV rays) characteristics.
Modification properties:
- Modifications are not inherited.
They appear gradually and have transitional forms.
Modifications form continuous series and are grouped around the average value.
They arise directionally - under the influence of the same environmental factor, a group of organisms changes in a similar way.
All the most common modifications have an adaptive (adaptive) nature.
Thus, an increase in the number of red blood cells and the Hb content in the blood of animals and humans in the mountains represent an adaptation for better use of oxygen. Tanning is an adaptation to the effects of excessive sun exposure. It has been established that only those modifications that are caused by ordinary changes in natural conditions are adaptive. Modifications caused by various chemical and physical factors have no adaptive significance. Thus, by exposing Drosophila pupae to elevated temperatures, it is possible to obtain individuals with curled wings and notches on them, which resemble mutations.
- Environmental modifications are reversible and with a change of generations, subject to changes in the external environment, they may not appear (fluctuations in milk yield, changes in the number of erythrocytes and leukocytes due to diseases or changes in living conditions). If conditions do not change over a series of generations, then the degree of expression of the trait in the offspring is preserved. Such modifications are called long-term. When development conditions change, long-term modifications are not inherited. It is a mistaken belief that education and external influence can reinforce a new trait in the offspring (example of dog training).
The modifications are adequate, i.e. the degree of severity of the symptom is directly dependent on the type and duration of action of the factor. Thus, improving the living conditions of livestock causes an increase in the weight of animals.
One of the main properties of modifications is their mass nature - the same factor causes the same change in individuals that are genotypically similar. The limit and severity of modifications is controlled by the genotype.
Modifications have varying degrees of durability: long-term and short-term. So, a person’s tan goes away after the insolation ends. Other modifications that arise in the early stages of development may persist throughout life (bowlegs after rickets).
Block 3. Dominance. Example of negotiations.
Let's look at examples of how to respond to ultimatums from a dominant person!
Dominator:
“You either do as we say or you won’t get anything at all.”
Negotiator:
– Grigory, you don’t leave me a choice and drive me into a corner with threats, is this the best solution to drive a person to despair, and if he breaks down and there is nothing good in that, but there are other ways to resolve issues besides an ultimatum, let’s move on to them.
Dominator.
– If something doesn’t suit you, you can always refuse, but there won’t be any more money!
Negotiator.
– Grigory, you can do what you are talking about at any time, this is the simplest way, and the simplest does not mean the smartest, there is a smart way and this is a more complex way to solve emerging issues. Let's talk about it!
Dominator.
– Do you remember, yes, that our doors are open, if something doesn’t suit you, then you know what needs to be done!
Negotiator.
– Grigory, you are a professional in your field and have probably already encountered situations where getting rid of something leads not to an improvement, but to a worsening of the situation in the future, so is it necessary to open doors and at the same time lose benefits, I think not, let’s decide questions are productive!
Definition of dominance
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All human society is structured on the principles of dominance: relationships in the family, the state and in individual social groups. A member of society is taught from the cradle to follow the leader, to carry out his orders and will. First, the child sees leaders in his own family, then he begins to obey the teachers in kindergarten, then he moves to the school team, and so on.
So, dominance presupposes the intention and ability to occupy a leading position in a social group. Just the desire to be a leader is not enough for this; you also need the ability to become one and maintain a leading position. Dominance is the ability to dictate your will to others and influence the thoughts and actions of other people. To become a dominant in a social group, you need to value yourself and make others respect your position in life and aspirations.
Character qualities of a social group leader:
- assertiveness;
- stubbornness;
- waywardness;
- independence;
- self-sufficiency;
- independence.
Among the negative characteristics of a group leader are:
- authoritarianism;
- aggressiveness;
- thirst for worship and admiration;
- disobedience to another authority.
Leaders of social groups are often rebels in the past. They achieved leadership and power by overthrowing the previous government and its leaders. Sometimes leaders become outright tyrants who make decisions in emotional outbursts.
In Western culture, dominance is considered a positive quality, since leading is always better than obeying and serving.
Block 4. Submission. Definition.
Submission is a set of interactive technologies that reflect a person’s readiness to carry out orders, instructions, assignments, and instructions from another person.
The demonstration of submission techniques does not clearly indicate that submission will actually be performed. Techniques are markers indicating submission, not characteristics of submission. At the same time, these markers are often correct for predicting a future situation in which the corresponding behavior scenarios of the type of submission will unfold.
What to do
Knowing the basic principles of dominance, you can successfully develop the missing good qualities in yourself and get rid of the unwanted ones. Because man is a rational and constantly developing being.
You can feel equally comfortable being a follower or a leader. And it doesn’t matter who is dominant in a relationship between a man and a woman, as long as it suits everyone in the couple. You don’t even need to start “pulling the blanket” over yourself, trying to defend your leadership position with foam at the mouth and stomping your feet. It is very easy to lose existing relationships, but whether it will be possible to create new ones is a big question.
Alexandra Marinina in her novel “Alien Mask” wrote: “When a weak man is next to you, there are two options: either leave him or pretend that he is strong.” You have to fight for your happiness. With yourself first. Fighting in different ways for supremacy is an empty and unnecessary exercise in which there are no winners. After all, the one who runs to the finish line first finds himself alone.
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Block 5. Submission. Reasons for choice?
In subordination, the subject makes an addition from below. For a professional negotiator, it is very important to be able to use markers of subordination in order to exert appropriate influence on the opposite side.
The techniques demonstrated can be tactical steps to win a battle or implement a strategy.
When choosing submission, the subject is in a state opposite to dominance. With true submission, the priority target resource that determines behavior is the desire to be in a comfort zone , in a zone where there is no struggle, tension, conflict situations, confrontation and/or the subject dreams of getting rid of a “stressful situation.” This leads to the abandonment of a set of subjectively significant valuable target results due to concessions to the opposite side.
When subjugated, the subject realizes that he does not have access to important results, and this can be “psychologically traumatizing” and cause a state of distress and depression.
Submission is not always a manifestation of a person’s psychological weakness, although it indicates it. Various complex situations are possible when a rational choice of submission is made. For example, a subordinate at work who values his place is forced to endure the dominance of his manager. The subordinate has a fear that if he stops behaving “appropriately,” he will lose his job. Submission often takes place in family relationships between a dominant husband and a subordinate wife, and between a dominant father and a subordinate son.
In society, situations periodically arise that predispose to subordinate behavior, in which people accidentally find themselves. A person makes a conscious choice, despite the fact that under normal conditions it is not typical for him to obey. For example, a conflict on the road, when the dominant behaves aggressively and brandishes a weapon. Obviously, submission in a given situation, as the primary reaction, becomes the natural choice of many people.
Submission is characterized by the following manifestations: gentleness, pliability, helpfulness, request, deference, timidity, tendency to take responsibility and blame upon oneself, courtesy, tact, modesty, submission, humility, obedience, obedience, subordination.
The subordinate does not always realize his dependence on the dominant person. Psychological defense mechanisms are triggered and the “factual material” is repressed into the unconscious. The subordinate is able to explain to himself, give arguments that from his point of view look rational and at the same time shifts the emphasis from the factor of dependence on the dominant to the factor of dependence on the circumstances. The following speech patterns are widespread: “give in to a fool”, “whoever is smarter will give in first”, “submit to one, give in to another”, “if you involuntarily give in, you’ll get stepped on”, “a pound must yield”.
How dominant men behave
Male representatives, due to their natural inability to veil their actions, are often too rude and straightforward when dominating. They almost always want complete submission and servility from a woman. They have the following behavior:
- An alpha, successful in financial, physiological and social status, often chooses a girl who is not brilliant, but very attractive, as his life partner, becoming her friend, sexual partner and sponsor. Such dominant relationships between a man and a woman are very noticeable to others, since they are initially too pronounced in their classicism. A man, having got himself a Barbie, treats a girl like a doll who needs new outfits, houses and gifts. In return, complete and unquestioning submission is required. In everything.
- There are hidden, domestic dominants who are accustomed to “putting on a mask” of integrity in public. At home, behind closed doors, they arrange scandals for their woman for the slightest real or imagined offense. They blackmail everyone - from deprivation of finances to complete rupture. Sometimes children are involved in a dispute, and their parents begin to “divide” them among themselves.
- There are situations when the dominant in a relationship between a man and a woman grows out of a former beta or even, rarely, an omega. This happens with a sharp jump in male financial well-being, when the newly-minted nouveau riche overnight begins to consider himself the center of a small, family “universe,” demanding praise and worship.
The most correct form of male dominance is defined in Valentin Chernykh’s book “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears.” The hero said: “Remember, I will always decide everything myself on the simple basis that I am a man.” And let the whole world flourish or collapse, but a woman has reliable support in the form of a beloved and caring partner. Whether he is always right or wrong is not subject to discussion. After all, a wise companion will always find a “loophole”, through the heart or through the stomach, to get to the man’s brain in order to tactfully correct his behavior.
Block 6. Submission. Example of negotiations.
Dominator.
– You didn’t complete the order on time, it’s your fault!
Subordinate.
– Vasily Petrovich, the mistake made is a consequence of the lack of regulations in our organization, when each action is clearly defined. Everything must be written down and documented. Then there will be no mistakes.
Dominator.
– Don’t make excuses, you’ll still be punished!
Subordinate.
– Vasily Petrovich, I have already been punished for discrediting myself in your eyes. Now you will think badly of me, consider me a bad specialist. I have lost your trust, which I need to earn again, and this is difficult to do.
Dominator.
- You have not only lost trust, but you will also lose money, because I will fine you!
Subordinate.
– Vasily Petrovich, a mistake in my work is an opportunity to review the current vehicle maintenance standards and replace them with more adequate ones, taking into account operation in difficult conditions, fines will not help this, systemic solutions are needed here.
Dominator.
- Well, make these system solutions so that orders reach customers on time!
Subordinate.
– Vasily Petrovich, this is a difficult question that we all together have not been able to answer for several days now, and we cannot cope with it quickly, but if on Wednesday at 13:00 before lunch we gather the leaders and set such a task, then in an hour you can get a couple of solutions. Should I notify everyone?
In this way, the subordinate took the conflict situation into a productive direction, and the issue of the fine ceased to be important for the boss. You can learn how to cope with all sorts of difficult situations in negotiations when you are under pressure in my trainings.
Signs of a psychological tyrant.
Emotional or psychological abuse is difficult to identify. Unlike physical, it does not leave scars or bruises on the body. But it leaves invisible scars on the soul. Gaslighting, emotional blackmail, withholding - emotional abuse varies from harmless jokes to open humiliation and insult. If you don’t want to become a victim, learn to recognize it.
7 Signs of Emotional Abuse
- Insult and excessive criticism: the aggressor partner argues for criticism solely with his own judgments and conclusions, contrary to the wishes of the partner.
- Sneak rudeness: when your partner says nasty things in a casual voice or treats you like a clueless toddler.
- Guilt manipulation: The abusive partner makes the other feel guilty, but never apologizes or admits the blame.
- Isolation: when a subordinate is boycotted for the slightest disobedience, met with a straight face or given the cold shoulder.
- Codependency: the personal boundaries of the subordinate partner are constantly violated, deprived of will and independence.
- Bad Treatment: The aggressor displays bad attitude but claims that the partner has got it all wrong.
- Gaslighting: the most destructive type of psychological aggression, when a person is convinced of his own insignificance.
Today, the term “prospecticide” is increasingly used - a type of psychological violence in which the aggressor partner changes the victim’s thinking and imposes his ideas, beliefs, and principles. But this is a stage that has long-term effects. Therefore, it is better to learn to resist violence at an early stage.
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4 tips from psychologists for those who seek to resist emotional abuse
- Think about the situation in a state of mental balance.
- You should not solve the problem through bickering. Instead, you can use less conflicting options:
- Calmly talk about the feelings you experienced under someone else's control.
- Speak for yourself instead of blaming others.
- If you can’t tell, write a letter.
- Ask a close friend for support, but don't choose mutual friends.
- Contact a family counselor or psychotherapist.
Psychologists warn that we will have to prepare for resistance. Don't try to change your partner, rather work on yourself. If you couldn't fix the broken relationship, try to break the vicious circle and avoid mistakes in the future.