Cheating on a husband or wife - what are the signs, types and causes of infidelity?

Family psychology, as a separate area within the framework of general psychology, studies issues related to love and fidelity, betrayal, betrayal and more. It should be understood that relationships, whether married or not, are not only about sex, children and living together. They also have a moral side. It's about support, care and other aspects.

According to statistics and data available from the All-Russian Center for the Study of Public Opinion (VTsIOM), 22% of men and women in Russia consider infidelity and betrayal to be one of the common causes of divorce, and note that no one is immune from them.

What to do after cheating? How to survive the event? How to forgive a loved one and is it worth doing? Answers and advice from psychologists are presented in the article.

What is treason?

Treason can be not only physical, but also spiritual. There are other types. In general, in the context of family psychology, betrayal is usually understood as an act of marital or partner infidelity. This act is expressed in betrayal, in violation of fidelity.

There is another interesting concept that concerns exclusively marital relationships. This is the concept of “adultery” (used in relation to married people). It should be understood as one of the spouses entering into a sexual relationship with a stranger.

The motives and reasons for betrayal are multifaceted: some people lose their feelings, some are “eaten up” by everyday life and monotony, some initially did not want to connect their lives with a specific person. Before considering the main signs and causes of infidelity, it seems appropriate to describe the types of infidelity.

What do you mean by “treason”?

All. Correspondence, communication, flirting, even looking or smiling at another person is already treason

10%

I consider it cheating when a person has an intimate relationship with another person, and everything else does not count

20%

For me, physical betrayal is not as scary as spiritual or emotional betrayal. In my understanding, a person cheats with his soul, not physically

20%

We are free people, we do what we want and how we want. So "cheating" doesn't mean anything to me

50%

Voted: 10

For example:

• With fanatical workaholism, where work is the first wife;
• In a codependent relationship with one of the parents, where, for example, the husband is attached to his mother in such a way that he trusts her more than his wife and strives to share news with her first, he can talk to her on the phone for hours, neglecting time together with his wife ;
• With an all-consuming hobby that “takes away” from the family, for example, a strong passion for motorcycles, cars and evenings spent in the garage, fishing, hiking or extreme sports;
• In close communication with friends, who replace family, accept you with all your shortcomings and support you.

Types of betrayal

Cheating is a painful act that causes mental pain and leads to despair in people who are faced with betrayal by a partner. It should be understood that betrayal is not always physical in nature, which has already been noted.

Next, the main types of betrayal are discussed and their examples are given.

Random connections

By accidental relationships we mean those that arise as a result of negligence. This does not relieve the traitor of responsibility for the committed act, but there is an element of chance.

An example is betrayal due to alcohol intoxication. Any person who has had too much alcohol at one point loses control over himself. It is at this moment that the “autopilot” turns on, and then a random connection can occur. A person, if he really had too much, may not even remember what he did.

We do not condone cheaters or condone excessive drinking. The example presented is just an example.

Physical betrayal

Physical betrayal, if we talk about it in simple words, is a simple sexual act, an affair on the side. Some psychologists note that physical infidelity does not always mean that the cheater’s feelings for his regular partner are fading. But this is not the main thing yet.

An example is cheating for the sake of variety, due to the dissatisfaction of one of the spouses. Often, men or women who want to gain a new sexual experience, but for objective or subjective reasons are not able to do this with a partner (taboo, moral principles, reluctance on the part of the other half), decide to commit physical infidelity.

Unlike casual relationships, which is important to emphasize, physical infidelity is a voluntary step. And even though a lack of sexual satisfaction is not a reason to make up for the deficit by all available means, relationships on the side can arise even among spouses with experience.

Spiritual betrayal

This is one of the most painful types of betrayal for both partners. The first suffers from falling in love with another person, the second from the fact that he feels the fading feelings of the first.

An example is the heightened and even unhealthy interest of one of the spouses in another person (not a partner). This is about sudden “things to do at work”, about “the boss asks you to stay”, about “I won’t see you on the weekend”. And not only. Spiritual betrayal leads to the fact that the cheater begins to pay all his attention to the new object of desire. At the same time, interest in a permanent partner gradually fades away.

Spiritual betrayals often develop into emotional ones, and only after that into physical ones. This is how families or just happy relationships collapse.

Emotional cheating

It's almost the same as spiritual. However, it is more expedient to say that emotional betrayal is the peak of spiritual betrayal.

The example is similar to that already described for spiritual betrayal. However, in this case, interest and passion develop into love and a feeling of affection: a person not only begins to pay attention to the new object of desire, but also gives all his free time, energy, and funds. The value of a permanent partner in his mind at this stage is usually close to zero.

The existing relationship ceases to worry the cheater; he begins to look for reasons and reasons to break the existing connection. Like his significant other, he may feel pain and experience negativity, especially if for one reason or another he cannot simply leave the current relationship.

Emotional cheating in men, test

Mutual trustworthiness checks and provocations are not a good method of maintaining relationships. This indicates a lack of trust and can also hurt the partner emotionally so much that the union will fall apart.

Do you suspect that your husband’s relationship with another woman is beginning to take on the nature of emotional betrayal, and do the symptoms listed above confirm this? Do a little test.

Instead of approaching your husband with complaints, ask in a friendly tone why not invite your friend to your place, after all, you would love to meet her. If a man has nothing to hide, then he will not be afraid of your confrontation. However, if he reacts nervously and avoids not only the meeting, but also the topic as a whole, this is bad.

Signs of betrayal

According to surveys of sociologists, moral betrayal, physical or otherwise, can be detected in the early stages. An unfaithful husband or an unfaithful wife, or just any partner outside of marriage, can lead a double life and hide this fact, but not well enough. Any emotional or intimate relationship that expresses infidelity may be exposed.

Here are 9 common signs of infidelity that sociologists identify:

1. Unfounded accusations of treason.

If one partner often and without reason begins to accuse the other of cheating, then he is most likely a cheater himself. The “whistleblower” in this way tries to avert suspicion from himself and accept the role of “victim”. By instilling in his other half the idea of ​​her “infidelity,” he clouds her mind and tries to hide the fact that he has a mistress (or lover) and new feelings on the side.

1. Constantly talking about someone with references to the fact that this someone is “just a friend” or “just a girlfriend.”

Feigned openness is a signal that the partner is trying to instill a sense of trust. If he constantly talks about someone and notes that there is no need to worry about this person, you can almost certainly talk about, if not cheating, then about emotional attachment. Friendship with the opposite sex, even if it developed long before the current relationship, is unlikely to be such in reality.

Have you forgiven betrayal?

No! I have never forgiven and will never forgive!

18.18%

Of course, everyone has the right to make mistakes, stupidity or carelessness

18.18%

Forgave and regretted it because it happened again

18.18%

I still forgive

18.18%

There was no such situation. Either he carefully hides it or does not change it

27.27%

Voted: 11

1. Spying on your partner's social circle, trying not to end up in the same company.

If one partner tries with all his might and means to “filter” the other half’s social circle and avoids jointly attending events where people familiar to both will be present, we can talk about the first alarm bell. It may be that a person is trying to exclude the possibility of acquaintance or any, even minor, contacts between two passions.

1. Justification for anything and everything.

There is no point in waiting for your partner to admit to cheating. He may not demonstrate secrecy, but he will almost certainly describe in excessive detail even what is not worth attention. If a partner has an excuse for everything, it means he is trying to hide something. The lie may be too vague, and the truth may be replete with unnecessary details. Both should be regarded as a sign that the partner is hiding something.

1. "A few drops."

In this context, we are talking about the behavior of a partner, in which he “gives out” facts regarding betrayal gradually. “I was (was) at a meeting.” “There were other men (women) at the meeting.” “To be honest, then I was (was) in a meeting with this man (this woman).” Then you can figure it out on your own. In this stream of recognition, the last straw will be the most disgusting and even bitter.

1. The emergence of “non-dangerous” connections.

At work, for example. Frequent discussions of “working” moments on the phone, in instant messengers, via video conference and not only with a colleague who “accidentally” appeared (appeared) is a sign that something is wrong.

Sociological surveys show that both unfaithful husbands and unfaithful wives resort to such “cunning”.

1. Changing the attitudes of mutual friends, loved ones and other people.

There are people who, when they find out that one partner is cheating on another, while knowing both, begin to move away from the victim. The fact is that psychologists note that such people do not want to get involved in other people’s relationships, but they are afraid to spill the beans, so they begin to avoid the partner who is being cheated on or has been cheated on by the other.

1. A surge in sexual appetite.

Some men and women who have repeatedly cheated on their lovers note that having an affair whets their sexual appetite. After this, they supposedly begin to more willingly indulge in carnal pleasures in their current relationship, but continue to “whet up” their appetite on the side.

You should be wary when, in the absence of objective reasons, a partner becomes overly active sexually.

Have you accused your loved one of unjustified betrayal?

No. Until I discover the facts, I won’t accuse anyone of anything.

55.56%

Unfortunately, and it was unpleasant for him (her) and me

44.44%

Voted: 9

1. Partner's secrecy.

This is one of the most obvious signs. The smartphone is always with the screen down, talking on the phone “for work” in another room or on the balcony over a cigarette, constantly being late home without explanation or with a constant single o - all of this and more can be regarded as signs that the partner is hiding something .

The signs presented in the list are a reflection of other people's experience. They are presented for your information. Statistics from sociological surveys are just statistics. You should not be guided by the presented signs as the only true signals that your significant other is cheating or hiding something.

Mental, moral and physical betrayal in comparison

Many people endure moral betrayal more severely than physical betrayal, because sexual intercourse puts an end to it, and emotional intercourse forms a question mark. Maybe it’s just fleeting communication, the partner wanted to unwind, or maybe it’s much more serious?

If people are emotionally attached, this may indicate the presence of common interests, sympathy, and maybe falling in love.

Moral betrayal is more difficult to bear because of its ambiguity. It is difficult to accept that a lover has found a more interesting person who evokes a storm of positive feelings and emotions in him.

READ

Recommendations on how to live with your spouse after your wife cheats on you

There is a well-founded desire to return the partner, to find out what he is missing, but this does not always end successfully, which affects the condition of the other half.

Mental betrayal

Mental betrayal, what is it? A partner can claim that he loves and really loves, but he cheated without feelings and emotions. Mental infidelity is practically no different from mental infidelity, since it is common among men, and often serves only one purpose - to emphasize one’s importance.

Most women are ready to forgive such betrayal, because not everyone is ready to rebuild a family, and this closeness did not mean anything. But there are also many who are disappointed in men, because it is really difficult to trust after this, but there is nothing to blame such women for.

Mental betrayal is a high, even intimate relationship without the very fact of intimacy

What to do if your partner openly cheats

It is difficult to break the connection between yourself and an object that brings positive emotions to your partner, this is how the brain of every person works. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to make a sound and informed decision.

Without a direct and frank conversation, this is the best way to find a way out of the current situation, an opportunity to express everything in person, including the feelings and emotions that the partners are experiencing.

This is really better than inventing scary scenarios in your head and remaining silent. If the partner has repented, the other half does not want to lose the relationship or marriage, then it is necessary to make it clear to the spouse that in the current situation there can be no compromise.

To avoid a relapse, you should have a second conversation, discuss what could have prompted your partner to take such actions, and how to avoid this in the future. It’s better to do this after emotions stop taking over

Reasons for infidelity

This section presents 10 common reasons for male infidelity and 10 equally common reasons why women decide to cheat. We will talk about family problems, and about accidents, and about other things.

Male infidelity

Men cheat on their wives or beloved women for the following reasons:

1. The emergence of interest in another woman or girl.

This is a trivial reason. The emergence of interest in another woman is not always based on instinct, as some believe. Most often, this interest is driven by the desire to try something new. Some men even compete with each other, bragging about who managed how much and with whom.

1. Alcohol.

The essence of random infidelity using the example of alcohol intoxication has already been discussed. Repetition does not seem appropriate, but it is worth noting once again that the loss of control over oneself is to blame. However, sometimes men can simply make excuses for this.

1. Lack of attention from the wife, demonstration of disrespect.

Some men put up with this and tolerate it, but not all. Sometimes a person’s (man’s) behavior can change dramatically, as can his attitude towards the woman he once loved. In this case, he is unlikely to limit himself to betrayal. Most likely, if such a picture occurs in a relationship, we need to say that it is bursting at the seams.

1. Lack of sex.

In this context, it is fair to talk about the differences in the sexual temperaments of partners. Some dissatisfied men seek salvation on the side, not preferring to endure.

1. New or true love.

Both men and women do not always enter into a union voluntarily. They may suffer and even suffer. And if true love suddenly appears on the horizon, the current relationship will lose all meaning and all value.

1. Revenge, thrill.

The mixture of revenge and thrill is not accidental. The fact is that some men, who have long felt a lack of attention from women and are often disappointed in them, are faced with an acute desire to begin to take revenge. And this revenge is expressed in the fact that by “gluing together” one girl or woman, a man increases his self-esteem, and at the same time experiences thrills and satisfaction.

Does your significant other have a friend of the opposite sex? Are you jealous?

No or maybe I don't know about it

50%

Eat. I treat it calmly, without jealousy or anything else.

12.5%

Yes, there is, and I am jealous, since there can be no friendship between a man and a woman

37.5%

Voted: 8

1. Solving life's problems.

This is partly the same as the previous point. However, here the situation is a little different: faced with problems, without being able to solve them, some infantile men begin to plunge headlong into work and into drunkenness. Or they seek solace in promiscuity.

1. Status confirmation.

Some men believe that having a fortune or a certain high position is what requires having a mistress. Or several mistresses. It's a stupid and unfounded stereotype, but it does exist.

1. Inability to resist temptations.

Other girls or women can act as temptations. Some of them are too persistent on the path to conquering men.

1. Untidy female appearance.

Often men, observing what their wives turn into after marriage or a long life together, panic. If the partner ceases to satisfy and begins to look disgusting, the man will almost certainly commit betrayal and will not even try to hide the betrayal.

Women's infidelity

Women cheat too. And no less often than men. The data available to VTsIOM allows us to speak about this.

Here are the common reasons for female infidelity:

1. Misunderstanding.

When a woman is faced with misunderstanding, the thought of cheating begins to creep into her head. Some people try to avoid loneliness through betrayal; others simply lack love, affection or care. However, the main reason is lack of understanding.

1. Treason for treason.

Some women, experiencing negative emotions after their partners betrayed them, decide to take revenge. How it is expressed is clear.

1. Alcohol.

Everything is clear here.

1. Curiosity.

Often, girls who tied the knot with men early commit adultery out of curiosity. The reasons do not matter: the lack of sexual experience can sooner or later make itself felt when a girl wants to try something new. She will almost certainly commit adultery, especially if her man is conservative in bed matters.

Are you a jealous person?

Extremely jealous and conflicts often arise because of jealousy

37.5%

Yes, but I don't show this feeling

25%

Absolutely not

37.5%

Voted: 8

1. Lack of satisfaction.

If it seems that this is the reason exclusively for male infidelity, it’s time to reconsider your views on simple things. Both men and women need sex almost equally, but the latter are not so fixated on it. However, long-term “starvation” and lack of proper attention from a partner can lead to betrayal.

1. Mutual betrayals.

Sometimes partners cheat on each other simply because it is the norm for them. It is not always advisable to talk about mutual infidelity in the context of female infidelity alone, but sociologists and psychologists note that it is women who more often talk about infidelity as a mutual decision between two partners.

1. The desire to feel desired.

If sex with a partner is felt by a woman as an automatic act, in which there is no place for passion and even some lust, it will bring her more disappointment than pleasure. Where a woman who does not feel desired will look for satisfaction is understandable.

1. Forced marriage.

An unloved partner nearby is a factor that sooner or later will push any girl or woman to cheat.

1. Lack of emotional connection and communication with your partner.

If a woman and a man simply live under the same roof, this negatively affects not only their relationship, but also the general condition of the woman. In search of love, attention, warmth and affection, any woman can go quite far.

Do you check your loved one's phone, email, social networks?

Yes, as they say, trust, but verify. What if he (she) deceives me about something?

62.5%

No! He who seeks will find. If everything is fine in the relationship, then why?

37.5%

Voted: 8

1. Lack of sensitivity on the part of the partner.

Some women, trying to justify their infidelities, note that men who are incapable of establishing deep emotional contacts are less attractive to them. Also, some ladies say that men, who often deny them sex and satisfaction of other desires, quickly lose attractiveness in their eyes.

You should not rely solely on the data presented above. These are general cases. They should be separated from private ones, and it is extremely important not to make hasty decisions.

Reasons for female spiritual betrayal

In the female understanding, spiritual betrayal is not only sex. This is close communication, virtual communication, close friendship with a man. Why, having spouses, do wives seek such communication with other males? There may be several reasons:

• inability to come to an understanding with her husband;
• no common interests;
• long absence of husband (business trips);
• resentment towards your husband for something;
• problems with relatives;
• different views on raising children.

Any of these reasons leads to constant quarrels, omissions, and hidden grievances. As a result, spouses move away from each other. But women are designed in such a way that they need a surge of emotions, they need to talk to someone, share their secrets, complain, cry. And when there is a man who is ready to listen and understand her, she will quickly fall in love with him.

Should you forgive betrayal?

When thinking about whether it is worth restoring a relationship after cheating and forgiving your partner or putting an end to it, it is recommended to be guided by a number of factors. Sometimes getting a divorce and ending the relationship is the only right decision, but there are also situations in which the cheater manages to regain trust and make amends.

Here are the factors to consider when making your decision:

• the seriousness of the betrayal. Each of us has our own level. There are people who, at the mere mention of a former relationship by a partner, are ready to end the relationship. However, there are also those for whom one betrayal is not a reason for panic, not a tragedy;
• number of changes If you can forgive one by stepping over yourself, then two, three or more are unlikely;
• presence of motives. This is an important factor. If the motives for the betrayal are clear, you can think about forgiveness and maintaining the relationship, otherwise the only right decision will be a fat point;
• relationship potential. If a relationship with a partner is a great happiness, if both are in love, and the betrayal was, for example, truly accidental, you should not draw hasty conclusions.

Overall: you need to understand yourself, understand yourself, and only after that discuss the problem with your partner. If for him betrayal is the norm and “no big deal,” there’s no point in forgiving.

Is there life after cheating?

There definitely is. If you have had to deal with betrayal, there is no need to despair and think that life is over. Remember that you have pride, that you are going your own way and should not give up on yourself because of a traitor.

Life doesn't end after a breakup. It will hurt, it will be bitter, but this is not a reason to give up. Over time, changes will definitely come. And many of them will be extremely positive. By freeing yourself from painful relationships, you open up to new ones that will only bring happiness. Attract him into your life, do not suffer and suffer.

To be wise (wise) and to show flexibility, valuing yourself and not suppressing pride, means to live. Do not exist in a world that has been overshadowed by the fact of betrayal, but create a new reality around yourself with all your might and continue to live.

Have you ever cheated on your partner?

No! I have made my choice and therefore do not want to look for something else

28.57%

I don’t see anything terrible in this, if there are a number of reasons for this, it happens from time to time

57.14%

Yes, but it was my mistake and I regret it.

14.29%

Voted: 7

How to approach the situation?

The right decision is to think everything over, and only then draw conclusions. The previous two points are required. Additionally, you should understand the types of betrayals that have already been described. This will help form an objective attitude towards the fact of your partner’s betrayal.

Who cheats this way more often?

For each of us, something different will be the most important in a relationship. Some people like the physical side of love. Of course, without quality sex, a relationship will not be complete, but many value communication more highly. These are people with a subtle mental organization who notice beauty in the world around them. They pay a lot of attention to details, gestures, and intonations. For them, the spiritual is higher than the material, and physical betrayal is unacceptable. They are often indifferent to sex.

This will also be a blow for those for whom it is important to feel the support of their spouse. They must be confident that they will come home and be greeted warmly. Typically, such people spend a lot of time at work, building their careers and trying to earn money for their family. And if your significant other entertains himself on lonely evenings with thoughts about another person, then they will feel betrayed. And it will be very difficult for them to forgive such behavior.

For some, this position is incomprehensible. Usually these are straightforward people who think rationally. More fundamental things are more important to them. For example, the material well-being of the home, order and comfort. When choosing a spouse, they are also guided only by feelings. They create marriages of convenience to a greater extent.

Therefore, such people often deny spiritual betrayal. For cheating, it’s tantamount to sex outside of marriage, and the rest is just communication, friendship. Physical contact is more important to them than mental contact.

Recommendations from psychologists

Psychologists divide the feelings of any person faced with betrayal into several stages. With reference to them, they give certain recommendations. Detailed information is provided below.

1. Shock stage . Occurs when a person finds out about betrayal. He may experience acute pain, become hysterical, or fall into a stupor. Usually the condition lasts 2 weeks. The victim's task is to combat the effects of stupor or shock. It is not recommended to make serious decisions at this time. Sometimes it will be useful to get acquainted with similar situations and stories; you may need the help of a psychologist.
2. Overload stage . Lasts up to six months. The fact of betrayal has already been taken for granted. At this stage, it is necessary to determine the optimal model of behavior. The problem is that the victims at this time are literally swinging on an emotional swing: either they want to start living a new life, or they are “overwhelmed.” At the stage of overload, you should give up thoughts about the past and start looking to the future with your head held high. Life is not over.
3. Recovery stage . The duration depends on the willpower of the person. Some people already enter into a new relationship six months later, others take years to recover. The best remedy at this time is impressions. There is no need to start leading the life of a recluse: new acquaintances, new emotions and simply an active life in which there is no place for sadness are the right means to combat the consequences of betrayal.

Why did this happen?

1. Violation of intimacy. We are talking about coldness, ignoring feelings, unwillingness to listen, lack of opportunity or desire to set aside time to communicate with your other half.
2. Faded feelings. The former passion has passed, the partners want new sensations that they are unable to find in each other. In this case, they try to satisfy their emotional needs on the side.
3. Reluctance of partners to admit and solve problems in the relationship. The appearance of a happy marriage is not enough. If the inside of an apple is rotten, no matter how beautiful it looks, no one will eat it anyway.
4. Low self-esteem. There are times when one of the partners feels dissatisfied with himself, it seems to him that he is no longer attractive to others sexually. A person wants to prove the opposite to himself, so he strives to start a relationship on the side. Nowadays, this is easiest to do; you just need to go online via your phone or laptop.

FAQ

Below are answers to the most frequently asked questions.

What is the difference between treason and betrayal?

Cheating is, in a sense, a betrayal: it gives rise to mental suffering and causes acute emotional pain. However, in the context of family psychology, infidelity is an event that occurs between two people who are usually connected emotionally and physically. Betrayal, if we do not talk about it as treason, can connect completely different people. There are traitors in war, at work, among friends and more.

What can be considered treason?

If we omit the formalities, then everyone has their own concept of betrayal. Some people believe that people cheat when they lose interest, lose the feeling of love, and more. But the point is different: for some, betrayal is one word from a partner about a long-standing relationship; for others, one physical contact will not be a crime. You set the limits of what is acceptable. But in the traditional sense, adultery is an act accompanied by a violation of marital fidelity in the direct and indirect sense. We are talking about sex, and about the loss of interest in real relationships, and about other manifestations characteristic of the types of betrayal discussed earlier.

How to quickly recover from your husband's betrayal?

Follow the recommendations of psychologists, which are presented in a separate section. Try not to blame yourself. A psychologist will help you cope with the consequences. You can wait until everything passes, but if you suspect that you cannot cope on your own, it is better to seek the services of a psychologist.

How to survive betrayal, what are the stages?

The experience of betrayal includes 5 stages: 1. Shock. We don't make serious decisions. We look at other people's experiences. They were able to survive, and so can you. 2. Anger. It can spread to everyone: acquaintances, others, loved ones. We strive for self-control. We direct the energy of anger into a positive direction: into hobbies, work, sports. 3. Deal. We come to an agreement with ourselves. We make plans, see the future as positive and look for reasons not to give up. 4. Depression. This stage is most often experienced by people with weak willpower. It's about failure to plan and failure to achieve goals. Therefore, we once again work through the plan, describe everything point by point and begin to conquer new heights. 5. Acceptance. Final stage. On it we accept that the past is the past. And we begin to live in the present.

Is it possible to forgive a woman for cheating?

Can. It should be borne in mind that, as practice shows, you need to weigh the pros and cons. The decision is responsible. Some women really make mistakes, which they later regret for the rest of their lives, and devote themselves to one partner. Others, on the contrary, may see forgiveness as weakness and will simply use the person and continue to cheat. If you don't know your partner and you doubt her, you shouldn't even think about forgiveness.

Is it possible to restore trust after betrayal?

Trust can be gradually restored. But here, as in the case of forgiving women, it is important to answer the question: “How well do I know my partner?” He may turn out to be insidious, showing that you managed to restore the relationship, but secretly building a plan for revenge. If a person is truly dear, offer him a consultation with a family psychologist.

How to get your loved one back after cheating?

Here are 8 methods that should be used together.
They are very similar to an action plan: 1. Work on yourself. If there are new betrayals in the plans, there is no need to return anyone. 2. Show attention and dedication. If the betrayal was accidental, you can easily gain the favor of the offended person by demonstrating sincere feelings and admitting your own guilt. 3. Negotiate. Conditions and agreements are sometimes more useful than the most heated debates and discussions. 4. Create conditions in which your loved one will feel comfortable and quickly forget about the betrayal. 5. Repent sincerely. If cheating was a terrible mistake for you, show it to your partner. 6. Take your time. After forgiveness, you should not suddenly, for example, try to drag your loved one into bed. He will not understand or accept this. 7. Don't overdo it. Impulsivity and pressure can push your loved one further away. 8. Be honest with yourself. Don't bring back people you don't want to spend your life with. Betrayal is a terrible and often unexpected blow. But this is not a reason to give up and stop living. The person who cheated is not your person. True love is yet to come. Tell yourself about this more often, develop yourself, drive away bad thoughts and be happy! All the worst is in the past, all the pain is behind. It is important to realize this and stop dragging negativity along with you. The sooner this realization comes, the sooner you will find true happiness. Betrayal is a terrible and often unexpected blow. But this is not a reason to give up and stop living. The person who cheated is not your person. True love is yet to come. Tell yourself about this more often, develop yourself, drive away bad thoughts and be happy! All the worst is in the past, all the pain is behind. It is important to realize this and stop dragging negativity along with you. The sooner this realization comes, the sooner you will find true happiness.

Look at yourself

Let's look at the signs that someone who is cheating or close to cheating may notice in themselves.

1. You are increasingly meeting your new friend in secret from your partner, family and friends.
2. You strive to spend as much time as possible with your friend.
3. In conversations with your friend, you share your secrets with him. You are not as open with your partner.
4. It seems to you that your new friend understands you better than your partner.
5. When stressful situations arise, you seek support from a new friend, not from your significant other.
6. Emotional and sexual intimacy began to disappear in your couple. It becomes less and less important to you.
7. With a new friend, you share values ​​and thoughts that your partner categorically does not support.
8. Quarrels arise between you and your partner more and more often, and you turn to a new friend for consolation.
9. You constantly have a desire to touch a new friend: to hug, to take his hand.
10. You discuss sexual topics with a friend, and you can easily imagine your friend as a sexual object.

Why do people look for spiritual intimacy on the side?

When a man makes friends with a woman on the side, it means that he is seriously lacking something. Think about what? Support, understanding, warm conversations in the evenings? The same can be said about female infidelity. The husband lacks attention, care, does not support him in any way, maybe he is emotionally cold or busy only with his work?

However, not only other halves are to blame for betrayal. Responsibility lies with both; in marriage you need to grow together, hear each other and constantly take steps towards each other. If a girl silently suffered from lack of attention, and then found her soul mate and away she went, who is to blame?

Why not tell your partner about your feelings? You can motivate him to care. Become the one you want to warm with warmth, to whom you want to give gifts and love. It is more difficult for a man to talk about experiences and problems in a relationship, but still many couples discuss their feelings openly. Although the emotional component in marriage depends more on the woman.

And if a couple’s experiences are not discussed, there is no mutual support, grievances are hushed up, non-verbal signals are ignored, then the risk of any betrayal is high. Tell me, in your relationships, is it common to talk a lot with each other, to share secrets? Does trust or selfishness come first? After all, intimacy on a spiritual level requires mutual understanding and openness to dialogue.