First of all, trust is confidence in a person and in his actions. There are always two sides to trust and a person can always get something other than what he originally wanted. In psychology, the term trust is interpreted as a state of a person in which he consciously becomes dependent on another person whom he trusts.
Absolutely any relationship between people is built on trust in each other. Be it relationships with strangers on the street, when asking for help, or communication with loved ones. Trust always carries with it certain risks for a person; he can be understood or, conversely, rejected. Every person who enters a state of trust in people must take into account several simple factors:
Trust is a change in distance
By revealing his experiences to someone, a person automatically changes his distance, he becomes closer. It is not surprising that people do not trust their problems and thoughts to people in whom they are unsure. Simply, they keep their distance from them.
Every person who wants to improve relationships with people must remember the rule - if you want to change relationships with people, learn to trust. Naturally, you can not try to get closer to other people, not open up and not trust, but, for example, wait for the moment when people themselves begin to reach out and will be the first to open up about their experiences. But it is worth remembering that trust is often mutual. “If I trust, they trust me.”
A person who decides to trust should understand that there is a certain degree of risk when he may be misunderstood or even rejected in his revealed experiences.
Is there a standard for trust and how to measure it?
We all have different levels of trust in specific acquaintances and in people in general.
Someone leaves their phone on the cafe table when they go to the restroom, because they believe that none of the visitors will take the device. And some even keep their distance when communicating with loved ones. It is unknown whether they will stick a metaphorical knife in the back if you relax. Regardless of the level of trust, you can find an abandoned bag and get hit by a loved one. In this situation, it seems that it is unsafe to trust people. It's better to be safe than sorry. But it is not so.
Irina Aigildina
Cognitive-behavioral psychologist.
Without trust, it is impossible to build friendly and loving relationships. A distrustful person has to spend a lot of energy on controlling his children, partner, colleagues, subordinates and other people around: “You can’t rely on anyone, you can’t trust anyone, everyone can deceive.” But in the end, this behavior results in stress, emotional burnout and apathy. The joy of life is lost.
A trusting person approaches the world more creatively, expresses himself openly, is relaxed, calm, more friendly and surrounded by equally friendly people.
According to Irina Aigildina, the concept of a normal level of trust does not exist, because there is no unit for measuring it. In every situation, the criterion of “normality” is found within ourselves. But that's not all.
Trust is the belief that a person will meet our expectations. But he is not at all obliged to do this and can respond to kindness with kindness, with nothing, or even with ingratitude.
Andrey Smirnov
Master of Psychology, practical psychologist.
It turns out that the principle of the golden mean also works in the case of trust. It is irrational not to trust anyone, but it is also reckless to trust just anyone. Each case is individual, and in any relationship, even very good ones, there is some risk. But, as you know, whoever does not take risks does not taste the well-known pleasant drink.
Risk levels
By trusting people with their experiences, the person himself becomes vulnerable to some extent.
Having experienced failure once, he risks closing himself off and becoming a loner, distrustful of others. By trusting those closest to you, a person can get negative experiences, experience pain and disappointment because he expected a different reaction. Thus, we can say that trust is a kind of lottery that a person can win or lose. Read more: Respect for parents in old age If a person is dependent on outside opinions and has little self-esteem, then the degree of trust in people may be higher. For example, a person who does not know how to act in a given situation often looks for someone to ask for advice, someone to trust. The degree of risk in trust can be in two directions:
- determined by the state from the inside;
- determined by a person’s readiness for undesirable reactions.
Be that as it may, if you learn to assess the degree of risk, you can avoid many unpleasant situations both for yourself and for others. After all, to trust or not is the responsibility of the person himself. No one can predict what another person's reaction to trust will be.
There are conventionally religious people who would be better off being atheists
Some believers like to elevate all religious issues to absolutes. There are Orthodox Christians who believe that atheism is a great sin, and that someone who does not believe in God is a lost person for society.
But it's not fair. A person may not live in thoughts of God, but this remains his personal matter.
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You can be a good atheist and an extremely bad Christian. Just assigning oneself to one or another “camp” does not make a person unambiguously bad and unambiguously good.
Candles, prayers, bows, etc. are attributes of religious life. The main thing is what a person has inside. If priorities are set incorrectly, such a person’s faith is hardly more pious than atheism
What atheists can be praised for is their honesty. After all, he admits his denial of the Almighty. And there are many Christians who tell everyone around them about their piety, but themselves behave rudely and ill-mannered.
Remember the embittered old women that are in every temple. A girl in jeans will walk into such a place and catch sidelong glances at herself - and this is in the best case, otherwise they will also make comments and insult you.
Trusting a person means being prepared for any reaction.
You can learn to control your emotions and feelings, but you cannot control another person. Most often, by trusting, a person expects that his experiences will be perceived positively, they will respond to them and will always help. But the fact is that to trust means to be prepared for any reaction, even not the most expected one.
So, for example, a girl telling her friend that she is pregnant expects a positive reaction from her, congratulations and discussion of plans for the future. But in fact, a friend’s reaction cannot be predicted; she can be either happy or upset, and these will be her experiences.
In order for the reaction to trust not to cause frustration and despondency, it is necessary to be prepared for negative reactions and accept that a person cannot always react the way he would like.
Becoming a Faith
So, answering the question posed in the title of the article, we can generally indicate that faith goes through four stages of formation:
- Emotional faith.
- Intellectual faith.
- Willful faith.
- Heart faith.
It's easy to guess that it all starts with emotional faith. Enough has been said about this. Let us only indicate that in addition to hope, which is greater than desire, peace, which is stronger than tranquility, can also be included here. Intellectual faith is built on conviction. Beliefs are more stable and unchangeable than emotions. When a person experiences the first stages of inspiration from contact with the Divine and does not turn away, his feelings gradually subside, and awareness of what happened comes. Faith becomes more conscious. Volitional faith is the determination to voluntarily submit to the will of God. There may be an element of slavery (fear) and an element of mercenary (search for reward) mixed in, but in any case, the person himself decides to follow the acquired faith. The belief here becomes much deeper than just an opinion. It will be impossible without love, which ceases to be just a feeling. Heartfelt faith comes from our inner self. Love comes to the fore here. Heartfelt faith cannot be explained by material, earthly categories. In the New Testament, for example, the heart is never used to mean the organ that pumps blood. In general, Holy Scripture attributes to the heart functions that secular science is accustomed to attributing to consciousness. This includes will, thinking, sensations, conscience, etc. It turns out that in heartfelt faith the whole being of a person is directed towards the object of faith - God. Faith here ceases to be just a belief, it becomes confidence. In this case, the reality of the Lord becomes more obvious than the reality of the surrounding world, it becomes an internal axiom of the soul. This, if you like, is not only an answer to the problem of the origin of faith, but also to the question of why to know God. If He is the Creator of the world, then He is more real than the world. Heartfelt faith becomes the return path to the perfection of the Reality lost by man.
What is mistrust?
Mistrust is the easiest path to loneliness. It is impossible to build any normal relationship if there is no trust in each other. Distrust is a defensive reaction of a person who is unsure of people and their reactions to their actions. If you look and look for the roots of mistrust, then most likely the reaction comes from a person’s own lack of confidence in himself, the fear of being rejected, deceived, or not accepted. By refusing to trust, a person closes himself off, thereby trying to protect himself from negative experiences. There are several reasons for mistrust:
- lie;
- betrayal;
- failure to keep promises;
- envy.
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Mistrust can come from a person's family. When a small child opens up to his parents, he shows them his fragile soul. If parents overestimated, punished or humiliated the child in his desire to be open, then in adult life such a person will avoid trust, realizing that those closest to him can cause pain, what to say about strangers.
Loneliness
Faith in God often gives people some kind of moral support from above. Lonely people have a slightly higher need for this than people who have loved ones. This is the reason that can influence the acquisition of faith, although before that a person could be an atheist.
Any religion has such a property that its adherents feel involved in something global, great, sacred. It can also give confidence in the future. It is worth noting that confident people are less dependent on the need to believe than insecure people.
Why do you need to trust people?
As has already been said, mistrust leads to loneliness. Therefore, it is important to make new acquaintances and friends; for this it is important to be able to win people over. Man is a social being who requires relationships to function normally. Without society there would be no man himself. Lack of communication and trust in people leads to loneliness and recluse. Although trust can easily turn into mistrust, it is worth talking about the positive aspects.
Trust allows you to build strong and harmonious relationships between people. People who want to build comfortable friendships definitely need to trust each other, because this is the only way to get closer and get to know a person better. By revealing his experiences to another, a person unconsciously includes him in his life.
Whose side is the government on? To trust or not to trust?
At first glance, it may seem that people who choose distrust are less vulnerable to society.
Nobody knows anything about them, they do not open up about their experiences and, in principle, do not tell anything about themselves. But there is a downside, such people do not have the power to approach people on their own initiative. It turns out that someone who trusts others can freely change the distance in a relationship - moving closer and further away. These people tend to have more power in relationships because they have more choices.
The banner covers part of the facade of the municipal gymnasium in the center of Volgograd, where SvD journalists arrived. The inscription reads: “A decent education means a successful future.” Teenagers with red ribbons around their necks look like Soviet pioneers. They enter the assembly hall with armfuls of red roses. Many are in the eighth grade, some of them are members of the Young Citizens of Stalingrad organization, others are scouts. They will be told about Russia's contribution to the victory in World War II.
Svenska Dagbladet 05/11/2016 Expressen 05/10/2016 Project Syndicate 12/23/2015 The organization cooperates with a number of Volgograd schools.
Volgograd was called Stalingrad from 1925 to 1961. “Today it is important not to lose historical self-awareness,” emphasizes 20-year-old Alexander Bichutsky, who teaches the class. He is a member of the state organization “Victory Volunteers in Volgograd,” which teaches schoolchildren patriotism. Fragments of the video behind Alexander show the destruction in the city after the Battle of Stalingrad. We believe in justice, like Stalin "Who is a superhero?" he asks from the stage. The public responds “Bae.” Drawings of Batman and Superman are replaced by photographs of World War II soldiers. “It’s important to be patriots and know what happened before we were born,” says 15-year-old Nikita Zemtsov. Alexander launches an audio file with a recording of the recognizable voice of Soviet announcer Yuri Levitan, who reports that the war is over: “Remember our heroes, they sacrificed their lives at the front. Anyone who doesn’t know our common history doesn’t know who he is.” The motive of the feat that unites the nation is repeated many times. After the lecture, 15-year-old member of the “Young Citizens of Stalingrad” Nikita Zemtsov cannot say exactly what he was taught, but he feels proud of his ancestors. To get the right to wear a red ribbon, like Nikita, you must help repair monuments and talk with veterans for a year. Also, all members of the organization must participate in the celebration of Victory Day on May 9. After lunch, history teacher Svetlana Boyko and her students plant a “Tree of Victory” in the school garden. The tree will grow with new generations. What do you tell schoolchildren about the history and leaders of the Soviet Union? “We talk about Stalin and his role in World War II. Every corner of Volgograd is part of the war.” We must be able to respond if we are attacked. Previously, she was a member of the committee that proposed renaming the city again to Stalingrad. “The generation that fought in the war blindly believed in Stalin. We try to be objective, we say that he killed many, but at the same time he turned Stalingrad into an industrial city. We believe in justice, just like Stalin. Young people must believe in something. Patriotism instills discipline in children,” says Svetlana. The next day, Saturday, hundreds of children gather in the school yard. Many are dressed in green military uniforms, others in casual clothes. They are preparing to participate in the parade to honor the memory of their loved ones who fought. Teenagers call themselves patriots. But most respondents cannot say why. Can you imagine that you will fight for Russia? "Without a doubt. We must be able to respond if we are attacked in the future,” says Alexander Vasilevich. Under Putin, Russia did not collapse. On the contrary, she has become bigger. 12-year-old Darina Ilicheva is another young patriot.
“Other countries are weak because Russia is strong, and they are simply jealous of us.” She claims that Putin is the most popular president in the world. She would like the teaching system at school to improve. It would be nice if Putin canceled the final exams. “We strive for European standards. Russia must become as clean as Europe. Is that where they wash the roads with shampoo?” During our visit to Volgograd, the city is holding primary elections ahead of parliamentary elections this fall. 27-year-old Edgar Petrosyan is running as an independent candidate from the All-Russian Front movement. We meet with him before the debate. He was previously a member of the ruling United Russia party, but was expelled when he helped expose a corruption scandal that forced the region's governor to resign. Edgar created an Internet "surveillance system" and discovered that the governor was embezzling government funds. Many adults in Volgograd connect the memory of World War II with the future of their children. But Edgar doesn’t think that the past will help solve Russia’s current problems. He is a patriot of a different kind. “As a politician, I see that the main problem in Russia is in Russia itself. In each of us. We need to start developing high technologies, and then everything else. Many problems can be solved within the current system, especially taking into account the country's natural resources. But this requires political will.” Edgar believes that the number of jobs can be increased if the government changes the educational system. “Under Putin, Russia did not collapse. On the contrary, it has become bigger,” he says with a twinkle in his eye. He means Crimea. Great-grandchildren of patriots are told that Stalingrad fought to the last drop of blood. Children do not yet have their own memory, but they are instilled with respect for the symbols of the pride of their ancestors and the memory of the war that previous generations kept. Patriotism is like an automatic alarm clock, shaping their future as they are prepared to fight a hypothetical enemy from the past, although they do not know why. InoSMI materials contain assessments exclusively from foreign media and do not reflect the position of the InoSMI editorial staff.
