Confidence is an important quality that helps you achieve success in all areas of life: career, relationships, health. Confident people do not depend on the opinions of others - they make their own decisions and are responsible for the results.
Confidence is often confused with self-confidence - when a person is convinced that he has no shortcomings. High self-esteem provokes risky behavior and interferes with building relationships with people. The other extreme is uncertainty and low self-esteem, which will never lead to success. Often insecure people try to raise their self-esteem with the help of external attributes - expensive cars, clothes, accessories. But this doesn't solve the problem.
The Rydas test, which we will discuss in detail in the article, will help you determine how confident you are.
What is the Rydas test and how to pass it correctly
The confidence test was developed in 1973 by Spencer Ridas, a member of the American Psychological Association and the author of famous psychology textbooks. The technique allows you to determine the degree of self-confidence and identify weaknesses. Designed for people aged 18 years and older without restrictions on education, profession and social status.
The Raidas test consists of 30 statements that describe different types of behavior. For each question, there are five answer options: from “very typical of me” to “not at all typical of me.” Each answer corresponds to a certain number of points with a positive or negative value. Their sum is your percentage of confidence.
It is important to reflect your opinions in your answers, and not what others say about you. Don’t think for a long time – indicate the first thing that comes to mind. This is the most correct option. As soon as you start thinking about the answers, the psychological defense mechanism will turn on and the results will be inaccurate.
Four types of behavior of people with low levels of assertiveness
A lack of assertiveness can sometimes seriously affect your interactions with the people you interact with on a daily basis, and at the same time your self-confidence, self-esteem and perception of yourself as a person.
Let us list four types of behavior characteristic of people with a low level of assertiveness.
- Aggressive. The person is irritated, rude, behaves noisily, insults others, threatens, arrogant, defiantly aggressive, tries to prove that he is better than others, ridicules others, is peremptory, does not listen to the opinions of colleagues, insists on his own rightness.
- Self-confident or arrogant (moderate aggression). There are no problems for this person. He is noisy, always knows everything better than others, is full of ideas, interrupts his colleagues all the time, knows how to put his opponent in an awkward position, knows everyone.
- Manipulator (indirect aggression). This person gets his way by making colleagues feel guilty or by resorting to childish behavior. Weaves intrigues, is often in a bad mood, resorts to sarcasm and rudeness.
- Passive. This person prefers to communicate by hints, comes up with excuses, and cannot say “no.” He is often treated as an errand boy and a doormat. It is difficult for him to make decisions. He succumbs to the influence of others and cannot say what he wants. He apologizes all the time and puts his colleagues and clients before himself.
Next time we will talk about how to learn to say “no”.
Self Confidence Test
Self-confidence test: Raidas technique Photo: Depositphotos
For convenience, the test is divided into two parts. Once you complete the first part, move on to the second. Points are added up automatically.
First part of the test
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Self-confidence test (part one)
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1. When the food served in a cafe does not satisfy me, I complain about it to the waiter.
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2. When I am asked to do something, I make sure to find out why it is done.
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3. I prefer to use strong arguments and arguments.
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4. I try to be among the first, like most people.
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5. I enjoy communicating with strangers.
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6. If a well-known and respected lecturer expresses a point of view that I believe is incorrect, I will force the audience to listen to my point of view as well.
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7. When I do something important and worthwhile, I try to let others know about it.
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8. I am frank and sincere in my feelings.
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9. If someone gossips about me, I try to talk to him about it.
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10. I complain about bad service and chaos.
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11. If I am interrupted by conversations in the theater or at a lecture, I make a remark.
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12. Anyone who tries to get in line ahead of me will get a rebuff.
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13. I always express my opinion.
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Self-confidence test (part two)
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1. Most people seem to be more aggressive and confident than I am.
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2. I hesitate to make dates and accept invitations to dates because of my shyness.
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3. I avoid hurting other people's feelings, even if I have been insulted.
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4. If the salesperson has gone through a lot of effort to show me a product that doesn't quite suit me, it's hard for me to say no to him.
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5. To be honest, people often take advantage of me.
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6. I often don’t know what is best to say to an attractive woman (man).
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7. I feel hesitant when it comes to calling the facility.
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8. I would prefer to make a written request to be hired or enrolled in studies than to go through an interview.
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9. I'm embarrassed to return a purchase.
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10. If a close and respected relative annoys me, I would rather hide my feelings than show irritation.
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11. I avoid asking questions for fear of seeming stupid.
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12. In an argument, I am sometimes afraid that I will worry and tremble.
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13. I avoid arguing and haggling about the price.
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14. It is often difficult for me to answer “no”.
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15. I tend to restrain my emotions rather than make a scene.
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16. When someone compliments me, I don’t know what to say in response.
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17. Sometimes I have absolutely nothing to say.
Decoding test results
To the sum of points of the first part, add the number 72 and subtract the sum of points of the second part.
0-24 points: not confident in yourself
Insecure people are quiet and shy. They avoid direct gaze and give in to difficulties. They try not to discuss problems and not make important decisions. They do not speak directly about their desires. Another manifestation of insecurity is aggression, when a person tries to assert himself at the expense of others. He is indiscriminate in his expressions: he can offend and get personal.
25-48 points: more unsure than confident
For such people, the opinions of others are important. They are afraid of being rejected, so they do not express their opinions out loud. This is due to low self-esteem and the inability to express thoughts and feelings.
49-72 points: medium level of confidence
A person shows determination in some matters, but he still needs to work on his self-esteem.
73-96 points: self-confident
Such a person realizes that he has the necessary qualities to achieve his goals. She takes responsibility for her decisions, so she acts and is not afraid to make mistakes. He knows how to express thoughts and feelings, so he easily finds a common language with others. In communication, he demonstrates respect for himself and other people.
97-120 points: overly self-confident
Such people do not feel fear, so they often behave recklessly and riskily. For example, a person underestimates the risk to his health and is confident that alcohol and nicotine will not harm him. Self-confident people are dismissive of others and this interferes with building relationships. Often, excessive self-confidence turns into unjustified hopes. Psychologists believe that self-confidence is just a mask behind which a person hides his problems and insecurities.
If the test shows low self-esteem or excessive self-confidence, this is not a death sentence. Your settings can and should be adjusted. This is best done under the supervision of a specialist.
The reasons for uncertainty and self-confidence lie in the past. This may be the result of improper upbringing, when parents deliberately did not notice the child’s achievements, but scolded him for every mistake. Or negative events after which a person has developed a defense mechanism. In both cases, the help of a psychologist is needed. Based on the test results, he will tell you what aspects you should work on and what tools to use for this.
How to become more assertive: 6 ways
To start, set a goal to be more assertive in situations that you can handle easily. Move on to more complex situations, such as dealing with a difficult colleague or your immediate supervisor, when you feel ready.
So, here are six basic ways to become more assertive at work:
- Remember your rights as a team member and just as a person.
- Be aware of your needs.
- Truly respect yourself.
- Genuinely respect others.
- Be open and honest with others.
- Know how to compromise.
The recommendations look simple and obvious, don't they? However, they are difficult to accomplish, especially if you have had past experiences that significantly undermined your self-confidence, such as:
- criticism from a manager, colleague, team, your mentor or teacher;
- dealing with an overly critical partner, strict parents or siblings;
- your previously low cultural level or social status;
- unpleasant consequences of the opinion you expressed.
How to gain confidence with three simple exercises
Self-confidence test: Raidas technique Photo: Depositphotos
A person who is insecure is given away by his posture: he walks with his head down and slouches, as if he wants to become invisible. Do the exact opposite: straighten your shoulders, lift your chin, straighten up to feel the tension between your shoulder blades. Monitor your posture seven times a day. The effect will be not only on a psychological, but also on a physiological level:
- The lungs will expand and breathing will become smoother;
- Soreness in muscles and joints will decrease because body weight will be correctly distributed;
- Blood circulation to the brain and all organs will improve.
Thanks to this simple exercise, you will not only look more confident, but also improve your well-being.
The second exercise is eye contact. When communicating, try to look at your interlocutor more often and maintain a friendly half-smile on your face. This exercise will help you feel much more confident.
Third exercise – include irony. This will allow you to control any situation and help reduce the significance of events. You will worry and worry less, and you will feel more relaxed.
It is important to understand that confidence is self-discipline. If you do these exercises regularly, you will form new habits and become a different person - confident and successful.
Material prepared by: Inna Klevacheva Cover photo: Depositphotos
