What does bore mean? Signs of boredom in people and how to get rid of them

A bore is a person who dwells on one topic for a long time and persistently in a conversation, but in business (during its implementation) and in communication is perceived as annoying, tedious, boring.

However, this disadvantage, in addition to negative aspects, also has positive aspects.

A bore will bring the job he has started to the end, will do it scrupulously, carefully, responsibly, in a conversation he will get to the essence and solution of the problem, find out the answers to all questions of interest, and will not leave any misunderstandings or unclear details.

Bores, as a rule, are efficient, although slow, purposeful, although they can be overly stubborn, intellectual and reasonable, although they can force them to listen to important information, in their opinion, against the will of the interlocutor.

Obsession and arrogance interferes and often becomes a problem in the communication and interaction of people. Not every person is ready to listen for a long time to boring stories about problems or instructions from a bore, or to endure it in everyday life and joint activities.

Some people choose to ignore and avoid communicating with a bore. That is why such people, understanding their problem, ask the question: “How not to be a bore?”

Advice to loved ones

If you want to help a loved one who suffers from the desire to constantly teach, complain or pester with questions, you should not tell him directly: “You are a bore!”, This must be done carefully, noting the excessiveness of some of his traits and manifestations.

You can show him how not to be a bore:

• invite you to a fun holiday, a trip, a hike;
• give an active pet;
• ask to communicate (play, take a walk) with the children.

Animals and small children are spontaneous and unpredictable, and communicating with them brings a lot of joy and fun. And when traveling and on holidays, a person understands that life is good even when it is unpredictable and full of new events.

What does boring mean

This is one of the qualities of character. Linguist Efremova in her dictionary gives the following definition of the word - annoying and tedious. Because of this character trait, a person is uninteresting, tiresome and unpleasant to communicate with. Boredom is closely related to pessimism. Such individuals are realists, but at the same time they see only negative manifestations in everything.

With this quality, a person takes life too seriously. He has no sense of humor, he does not look for compromises. He may be overly self-confident. When a person is boring, he does not accept other people’s opinions and imposes his own.

The quality of character is associated with the desire to interfere in other people's affairs and constantly get under the feet of others. Boring may be associated with tactlessness. A person is trying to give advice to those who did not ask for it. These are often authoritarian people who do not tolerate dissent.

Such a character trait as tediousness is formed in childhood. The reason for its appearance is children's complexes and fears.

Many turn into bores already in childhood.
The problem lies in the origins of its origin. The following options are possible:

1. Among bores, the largest percentage are melancholic, as well as phlegmatic. The first are too vulnerable and anxious, the second are overly serious. Melancholic people are often fixated on problems and seek to impose their society in order to receive pity from others. Phlegmatic people, due to their seriousness and dedication to work, can turn into pedants who consider themselves smarter and more capable than others.

1. Boring often manifests itself in people who are both inquisitive and prone to anxiety.
2. People who were raised by strict parents often become boring. If in childhood they were imposed unquestioning rules and norms of behavior and punished for violating them, then in adulthood such individuals become fixated due to fear of change and mistakes.
3. A person turns into a bore due to professional deformation. This is especially true for teachers. The habit of teaching makes such people boring.

Boredom also occurs in a person who is very passionate about something. He becomes fixated on it.

Being fixated on something turns a person into a boring person

All his conversations relate exclusively to his favorite business. Other topics seem uninteresting and insignificant to him.

Signs of tediousness

This character trait is recognized by the following manifestations:

• the desire to attach importance to what a person especially values;
• inability to laugh at other people's jokes (he often tries to find some meaning in them);
• teaching others and imposing on them their own rules of behavior;
• the use of categorical expressions in speech (“always” or “never”, “I hate” or “I adore”);
• inability to perceive other people's opinions;
• demonstratively emphasizing one's own superiority over others;
• the desire to turn an insignificant problem into a large insoluble problem;
• inability to see the hidden meaning in spoken words during a conversation.

Due to their reluctance to build relationships with others, such people often become loners. Even their loved ones often turn away from them. Such people are difficult to climb. They have a lot of fears and prejudices.

A sign of tediousness is fear of everything new.

Many bores think in patterns and prefer to act in proven ways. They rarely respond positively to anything new and progressive.

Spontaneity and risk-taking are not characteristic of this type of person. They also don't know how to have fun.

Types of tediousness

There are 5 types of this character trait. There are bores:

• pessimists;
• pedants;
• "professors";
• dependent;
• envious people.

The first type of people is always gloomy. They are constantly depressed. They are never satisfied with anything. Such a person tends to often complain about a hard life. They can talk for hours about their problems. These people are passive and lazy in life.

Bore pedants act only according to plan. They have everything clearly thought out. Any spontaneity is perceived as hostile by them. Any impulsive actions on the part of other people make them anxious or angry.

The boring professor is often erudite. He has information, but at the same time considers himself smarter than others. Any interlocutor feels uncomfortable next to such a person. The “Professor” loves to teach.

Boring professor types love to give instructions to everyone

He does not accept other people's arguments, considering his own to be the only correct ones. Such a bore often interrupts his interlocutors during conversations. He likes to cling to other people's words, correct them, and always tries to make comments.

A dependent bore is not independent. Such a person likes to ask questions and clarify what was said. Often dependent bores try to manipulate people through requests for help, achieving their goals from them. Their helplessness is often feigned and exaggerated.

The envious bore is a common type of people. They have a quarrelsome nature. They like to discuss things with strangers for a long time. Dissatisfaction is their normal state.

Bore and envious people are constantly dissatisfied with life

Such people feel good only when others are doing poorly.

How to get rid of boredom

Such a quality should be eradicated from oneself. It interferes with establishing healthy relationships with others. The following rules must be followed:

1. Help people only when they ask for it themselves. You should not give them unnecessary advice.
2. Stop complaining. When talking with your interlocutor, try to focus on positive things.
3. Change your own invented system of rules. You need to overcome yourself and get out of your comfort zone.
4. Learn to have fun. It is recommended to diversify your life with new acquaintances and hobbies.
5. Stop being lectured and listen to your interlocutors more often. People around you love to be listened to. This encourages communication and evokes sympathy.
6. Stop being obtrusive.

A bore often tries to demonstrate his superiority over his interlocutors. Such behavior should be abandoned. It is recommended to use your knowledge to improve your own life. People around them will develop a respectful attitude towards a person who has achieved success. Many of them will begin to strive to be the same. So the former bore will achieve his goal, achieving some superiority over others. At the same time, he will no longer be listed among them as a boring and fixated person.

Origins and causes of the problem

The answer to this question depends on the nature of the origin of this negative personality trait in a particular person: either it is due to innate characteristics of temperament, or it is developed as a character trait.

1. Anxious melancholic people and serious phlegmatic people are more often boring than explosive choleric people and cheerful sanguine people. The combination of individual characteristics of these two temperaments can give rise to the desire to get hung up and be overly intrusive in communication.
2. For example, a love of detail, curiosity, and meticulousness combined with anxiety and procrastination are likely to give rise to excessive attention to detail.
3. The tendency to get hung up on something, as a character trait, can be formed in the process of education, self-education, developed under the influence of certain environmental factors and living conditions.
4. A bore is often a person who, with age, has developed certain complexes, fears, prejudices; he thinks in stereotyped ways and acts in a habitual way. A person who has forgotten about the manifestation of momentary emotions, creativity, spontaneity, dreams, fun, risk and freedom is also a bore.
5. A person can become boring and intrusive in communication due to professional deformation. For example, teachers and professors with extensive experience, accustomed to teaching and teaching, often become bores.
6. People who become boring become people who are too serious, accustomed to thinking and making decisions based only on logic, who love to plan and carefully organize their living space. These are often conservative, moralizing, philosophizing people who like to condemn innovation and originality.
7. A bore can “wake up” in a person at moments of strong passion for something or someone. This looks like a short-term fixation on a favorite activity or person, which is often observed when there is passion and adoration.

Sociable, energetic, cheerful, frivolous people have difficulty communicating with bores. It is difficult for a person who is accustomed to making a decision based on a momentary idea to understand someone who can spend hours thinking about a problem, weighing the pros and cons, thinking about and discussing all possible consequences.

A bore looks at those around him who are too different from him as too emotional, unpredictable, frivolous and even stupid subjects. Without close people who understand and accept him, a bore may suffer from loneliness and forced isolation.

Signs of a real bore

You can identify such a person by their characteristic features. Among them:

• constantly focusing on the shortcomings of someone or something;
• imposing your opinion on others;
• excessive seriousness even in funny situations;
• lack of sense of humor;
• pessimism in everything;
• unwillingness to compromise;
• disagreement with someone else's opinion;
• boredom when performing any tasks;
• constant confidence in one's own rightness.

Self-centered and constantly self-obsessed - that's what a real bore is. He is usually emotionally cold. He is insensitive to other people's needs. A bore doesn't know how to listen. A boring person talks only about himself and his problems. He either ignores or quickly suppresses all attempts by the interlocutor to change the topic.

What a bore is like

These are not just one type of people. There are different types of bores. There are 4 types of such personalities:

• pedants;
• melancholic;
• smart guys;
• gossipers.

The first type of people adheres to the principles they have invented. This means that such a bore follows them strictly and demands the same from others. Any deviation from the principles of boring pedants is perceived with hostility by them. Such people like to impose their opinion, considering it the only correct one.

Boring pedants are picky about everything

Melancholic bores are constantly depressed. They consider themselves the most unfortunate people. They are characterized by frequent complaints about a difficult life. Such a person constantly expects pity and support from his interlocutors. Not receiving them, he plunges even more into a depressive state.

Nerd smart guys think they know everything about everything, as shown in the photo.

Nerd smart guys are sure that they know more than others

They consider themselves smarter than those around them. Such individuals can spend hours proving that they are right. They don't listen to other people's opinions. For them, only their own is authoritative.

Often, nerdy brainiacs achieve success in a particular field and believe that they have achieved perfection in it. They constantly emphasize their superiority in this. Boring smart people are incapable of making compromises.

How to avoid being boring

The surest way to avoid communicating with such people is to ignore them.

The best way to avoid contact with a bore is to ignore him.

You should not have long contact with them. A person with a strong character can make it clear to a bore that he has his own opinion and does not want to listen to his instructions. If a person is forced to communicate with an annoying person, then he is recommended:

• find a boring activity that will make him feel like a necessary and important person;
• act according to his scheme, also constantly complaining about life (many bores themselves will want to stop such communication);
• during conversations, persistently change the topic of conversation;
• constantly refer to being busy in order to avoid meetings;
• do not listen to what such a person says, do not respond to his messages.

When ignored and lack of pity on the part of others, a boring person often stops communicating and begins to look for other interlocutors.

Boredom is considered one of the negative qualities of a person. The appearance of such a character trait is often associated with childhood fears and complexes. In adult life, tediousness greatly prevents a person from contacting other people. To begin with, it is recommended to eradicate this quality in yourself. You should avoid communicating with bores, as such people take a lot of energy.

Disappointed Man Syndrome

Sometimes it seems that such behavior is simply a character trait, a specific personality trait. On the one hand, this cannot be denied, but on the other hand, tediousness is a symptom of an interesting psychological mechanism. It is a signal that a person has experienced a collapse of illusions in one or more areas of life and is now psychologically stuck with this regret. A boring person is, first of all, one who, for some reason, is disappointed in his life.

He is constantly in a state of deep disappointment and all he can do is constantly whine. After all, he can’t change anything. For those who are wondering: “What is a boring person?” — we can offer a rather original version of the explanation for this phenomenon. This is, first of all, someone who does not want to take responsibility for their condition and life in general. He is literally bursting with a feeling of disappointment in the whole world, and therefore he expresses his condition in whining and tediousness.