Today, every real person wants to be happy, but almost everyone is confused in achieving this state. Many psychologists are trying to explain what happiness is and what makes a person happy. But in any case, people do not have enough confidence to trust their point of view.
According to the dictionary, the word “happiness” means a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.
In my opinion, happiness is love, love for your family and friends. It depends on yourself, on your picture of life. It is a feeling of great pleasure and when you are sure that your relatives are living well.
Moreover, I believe that being happy for no reason is a great feeling! Whether you like it or not, you are happy at the same time - doesn't that sound good? This is true. In any case, searching for what makes a person happy takes a lot of time. Therefore, it is necessary to live using happiness, but not finding it.
Never be a pessimist. Because, pessimists bring problems, always talk about the routine of their lives and cry, and also get angry. Moreover, life is unpredictable and there is no such thing as a problem-free life; difficulties are inevitable. The most important thing is how to prevent misfortune. It is necessary not to worry about everything that happens in life, because the more we react to the consequences, the more problems there are.
In short, happiness is not a life without problems, but the power to overcome them. It is also important to feel the benefits of life. In other words, be optimistic.
Truly, where is a person’s happiness? Let’s start with childhood. Let's not forget about the role of the child in the life of the parents.
What is the essence of the state of happiness
When asked the question of what makes a person happy informally, people give many different answers. Usually their answer simply reflects what causes the most stress in their life. In developed and industrialized countries, the answer most often has to do with money. This is true simply because we have become a species that is more dependent on money to meet the basic needs of life than at any time in history.
Philosophers have often asked the answer to the question of what human happiness is and what it is for many years. The formulation of the question has never become dull or outdated, regardless of social, political and religious changes over the centuries. Once happiness is achieved, it becomes permanent.
Human happiness is not a state that results from joy or joyful moments tied together. Human happiness is self-sustaining, whereas joy is a temporary emotion.
These are not necessarily emotions like joy.
Rather, happiness in a person's life is a state of mind.
Upon first consideration of what human happiness is, it seems that in our modern age of luxurious living, scientific, technological and medical advances in many ways make our lives easier than our predecessors. One would think that this would make it easier to achieve happiness. However, happiness seems to be rarer and increasingly seeking mystery. While the ancient and ubiquitous question: “what is the secret of happiness?” has never disappeared from the philosophy of mankind, the answer seems to be no longer achievable in our time. Psychologists conducted a study of ten thousand participants in 48 countries to discover what people considered the most important element of happiness. In our industrialized and materialistic world, most would assume that the most important element would be money. However, the number one answer was that human life has meaning.
Returning for a moment to an earlier thought: if a person's goal is:
- a) achieving the most perfect functioning;
- b) realizing one's full potential, wouldn't it be logical to assume that these are elements of what it means to have meaning in one's life? If having a meaning in one's life gives happiness, then it must be the natural state of a person?
It is a scientific medical fact that when the human body is in a state of happiness, the immune system improves. When the body is in an unhappy, fearful or anxious state, the functioning of the immune system decreases and the body becomes susceptible to all types of diseases. It also results in bursts of creativity, typically higher income, and an increase in certain chemicals known to improve feelings of well-being, such as dopamine. Therefore, happiness helps us to discover and achieve our highest potentials, but this is not unique to the human race. All of nature, even plants, have a desire, need or genetic predisposition to become the best of their particular potential. A flower, for example, has an innate genetic imprint of its perfect potential, given the conditions that allow it to happen. It's the same regardless of the species: deer, rose, fish, tomato, mold spores.
Two factors that make it difficult to be happy
Why is it not so easy to be happy? The first factor is a person’s self-perception of himself and the world around him. Each individual is as unhappy as he considers himself unhappy. Absolutely anything can upset you. Even a leaf falling from a tree on an autumn morning can lead to a depressed state if you consider this phenomenon tragic.
Often a person becomes unhappy because the people around him do not treat him the way he would like. However, what matters is not who you think you are, but who you actually are. If inside, in your soul, you are happy because you are an imperfect person, with your own shortcomings and prejudices, then not a single “alien” opinion or assessment will upset you.
The second factor that a person cannot become happy is his own inadmissibility. It is easier for a person to be angry than to admit that he is unhappy, that he has locked himself in a trap and you cannot escape from it. You don't know how to get out of this? There is only one mistake - inaction. Become aware of the fact that you yourself do not allow yourself to be just a happy person, regardless of what you have and what you don’t have.
If you are in the trap of “I won’t be happy until I have this or that happens,” you are setting yourself up for an existence of constant unhappiness. But only your efforts and desire to become happy will allow you to find spiritual happiness that will accompany you every day, under any circumstances and events in your life.
Reflections of a philosopher
German sociologist and philosopher Eric Fromm gave an example in his work “The Art of Being.”
In one of his works, he stated that a gardener knows that in order for a rose to reach its most perfect potential, he must study and know the difference between certain standards or criteria that contribute to the production of the ideal rose. If the gardener's goal is to discover the highest potential for the rose bush; that its leaves are well developed and that the flower is the most perfect that can grow from a particular plant, it must follow certain criteria to obtain the perfect rose. Although plants and animals cannot consciously realize their potential as humans can, they rely on their species' predispositions and genetics. Just like a rose bush needs certain types of soil, humidity, temperature, etc. The gardener must provide these things if he is to unlock the bush's full potential to produce the perfect rose. This is true for all species, and certainly more so for humans.
And yet, if you look at it, are we making a small fraction of such efforts to unlock our own potential? Some are under the misconception that human happiness is an endless stream of joyful moments, and therefore try to keep this emotional roller coaster in motion. This condition is no different from drug addiction.
Human happiness is much more than just emotions.
I will be happy when...
We all have ideas about a better life, about the conditions when happiness will come: a higher salary, less work or a completely different position, a happy relationship, starting a family, buying real estate, a vacation in the country of your dreams, an ideal figure, and so on. When the goal is achieved, bursts of joy are replaced by the usual state of dissatisfaction. How so? Apparently, something is still missing. A new goal and a new hope appear that this goal will bring long-awaited happiness. However…
Life becomes a race. You need to get to your goal as soon as possible, because happiness will come with it. Most thoughts about the future are reminiscent of children's fairy tales: “The prince and princess got married and lived happily ever after.” This is the “happily ever after” that the champions of the race called “I’ll be happy when...” crave.
The mysterious arrival of happiness
Many people believe that there are certain conditions that will cause or create their happiness. Some common examples:
- I'm always happy when I lose weight;
- I will be happy when I find a better job;
- I will be happy when I can pay all my bills;
- I'd be happy if I just stuck to physical fitness;
- I will be happy when I earn more money.
It is a state of delusion that keeps us unaware of our own potential because we are constantly looking outside ourselves for happiness. This kind of thinking is also the fuel that fuels the rollercoaster of delusions. Betting on some future condition, as if waiting for some mysterious arrival, never leads to happiness and in fact is usually just a setup for disappointment in yourself. There is no external this or that that causes happiness. Nowadays, we seem to be moving further away from the understanding of true happiness.
Parable about a businessman and a fisherman
One day a businessman came to a tropical island. While walking along the beach, he saw a fisherman lying under a palm tree and doing nothing. The businessman approached him and said:
- Why are you lying and idle? Look how beautiful your island is, how much it can give you!
- For example? - asked the local. - Look at these white beaches, palm trees, sea, nature around. You can build a hotel here and attract tourists!
- And then? - Then you will build another hotel, then another! You will become a very rich man! — the businessman spoke enthusiastically.
- What for? - For what? When you become rich, you will be able to relax and just lie under a palm tree, doing nothing,” said the businessman with sparkling eyes. - But I’m already lying here...
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How to bring the moment when happiness comes closer
1. Start with yourself and by assessing what you already have. 2. Decide what feelings and emotions you want to experience, what mood you want to be in most of the time. 3. What do you need to feel happy? Look around! Maybe you already have this? 4. Write down all the good things you have in your life. 5. Write your list of activities and things that bring you pleasure and joy. Include them in your life on a regular basis. 6. Determine where your energy and joy flow. 7. Observe yourself and your thoughts. 8. Feel that your state, attitude, and mood are the result of your thoughts and actions. Take responsibility for them.
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This is the preparatory part, without which we will not get on the road to happiness at the current moment. Do it, work with your life focus and what makes you happy. Soon I will share with you techniques and ideas on how to learn to experience happiness now.
PS I want to clarify one point. I'm not against goals and moving towards them. On the contrary, I am a big supporter of them. However, I am against treating goals and dreams as the only means of achieving happiness. Because dreams and goals live in the future, and we live in the present. Happiness can and should be experienced along the path to fulfilling your dreams and goals.
PPS Course on Happiness from Yale University.
Hugging you! Have a nice day!
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Substitution of concepts
The word “happiness” has two fundamentally different meanings. One describes emotions and feelings (for example, a feeling of pleasure or enjoyment), and the second describes a fulfilled, harmonious and meaningful life. In everyday life, as a rule, we use the first meaning: we associate happiness with joy, euphoria, and energy. A happy person is a person with a wide smile, radiating positive energy, enjoying the moment.
We all regularly see this image in advertising, convincing us that it is the purchase of this product or service that will make us happy. However, the feeling of happiness from a successful acquisition or an exciting sense of novelty does not last long. Lottery winners are no happier in the long run than ordinary people. Quite the contrary: bright happy events create a contrast effect - against their background, familiar joys seem duller.
“Happiness does not exist on its own; it is only born as the opposite of something unpleasant. That's all. There is nothing that in itself would be happiness - it will seem like happiness only in contrast to others. As soon as a habit arises and the power of contrast is dulled, then happiness ends, and the person already needs something new.” Mark Twain
This is explained by the fact that we tend to get used to any conditions in which we live. This feature of the human psyche, inherent in everyone without exception, has an important function: it allows you to experience loss and return to normal life after any negative events. But there is a catch here, because we especially quickly get used to the good. This is why the development of technology, the expansion of social services and, in general, an increase in the standard of living are not perceived by us as a source of happiness. It is impossible to experience joy from what seems natural and accompanies us constantly.
Therefore, turning life into a pursuit of positive emotions, we gradually become fed up and fall into the trap of happiness: the more we strive for it, the more desperately we cling to pleasures and vivid sensations, the more susceptible we are to depression and melancholy.
Happiness depends on the structure of our brain
The second explanation has to do with biochemistry. Our biochemical system has no place for happiness: it is designed to increase our chances of survival and reproduction, so the more we achieve, the more we want - and therefore remain unsatisfied all the time. Genetics plays a significant role in how happy we feel. The study of genetic factors shows that their contribution to how happy a person feels is 35–50%. At the moment, it is clear which neurotransmitters are responsible for the components of happiness. Positive and negative emotions are associated with the exchange of serotonin and dopamine. The so-called pleasure centers release dopamine in response to a certain pleasant stimulus for a person - or before it is about to appear. These stimuli can range from food to the face of the person we love. Whatever pleases us gives us pleasure; pleasure, in turn, causes joy. When the body does not have enough dopamine, a depressive disorder or Parkinson's disease can develop, and if there is too much of it, then, for example, hallucinations. Serotonin is involved in a variety of processes, including memory and sleep, and malfunctioning systems associated with it are thought to occur in depression and anxiety. Serotonin does not so much cause positive emotions as it reduces sensitivity to negative ones. It helps dopamine and norepinephrine work and is associated with a large complex of processes in our body. When the body lacks serotonin, the balance between positive and negative emotions is disrupted. And this is the main cause of depression. If there is an excess of it, as is the case with dopamine, hallucinations can occur.
Endorphins
Norepinephrine is cleverly connected with happiness: it is responsible for stress and the associated development of a complex of emotions and reactions of the body (increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, etc.), which, it would seem, should be the antonym of happiness. However, we see from the example of avid athletes and stressaholics that this is far from the case. Norepinephrine causes a surge of energy and reduces feelings of fear. When there is too little of it in the body, boredom and apathy occur. In 2012, Swedish scientist Hugo Lövheim proposed a three-dimensional model of the connection between the combined action of three monoamines - dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine - with the manifestation of emotions, called the “emotional cube”. According to this model, joy and satisfaction are caused by high levels of dopamine and serotonin and low levels of norepinephrine, while feelings of anxiety and melancholy are, on the contrary, caused by high levels of norepinephrine and low levels of the other two. And unhappiness and loneliness, as shown by 2007 research by professors John Cassioppo and Stephen Cole from the universities of Chicago and California, trigger a defense response in the body, like stress, which in the long term is associated with an increased risk of cancer and arterial blood clots. This is how our bodies are programmed to turn misfortune into death. How can you influence happiness from a neurochemical point of view? Exercise, for example, increases the effects of endorphins, thereby improving mood, the same areas that are activated in people who love music when they listen to it. Perhaps in the future there will be entire industries that will work to artificially maintain human chemical happiness - so that we can live in a state of constant pleasure. However, modern neuroscience is trying to build a multifactorial model that would take into account not only the automatic reaction to a desired or undesirable stimulus, but also factors such as self-regulation, goal setting, attitudes and expectations, the presence of trusting supportive relationships that contribute to the experience happiness, as in the traditional field of psychological research. For example, it has been shown that during moments of social interaction, oxytocin is produced, which also gives pleasant sensations.
