The main signs of a loser
Why do some people manage to accomplish everything they set their minds to, while others do not? Are genes to blame, or social conditions, or perhaps character traits? These questions have been haunting many for a long time. But it seems the answer has already been found. Worldview, attitude towards life, towards yourself and others - this is where you need to look for the sources of luck and unluckiness. Let's look at what signs we can use to determine that this is an ordinary loser.
You don't value time
Losers don't value their time at all.
Any successful person will tell you that time is our most valuable resource. People who achieve success value time even more than money. What's your job? We read Twitter, visited a site like Fishki.net or Bash.im, liked photos on Facebook and VKontakte. But you make plans every year. Every year you promise yourself that “this year I will really work.” And everything is new. Your plans are not destined to come true. This is because you are not devoting the required amount of time to completing tasks. Learn to manage your time, learn to say “no” - this will be a good step towards success in any area of your life.
What to do?
“Every person is the architect of his own happiness” - the old saying of great-grandfathers has acquired a new meaning. Let's look at this with a simple example. Think to yourself what doesn't suit you in life. This includes both appearance and simply life aspects. For example, let's take the well-known completeness. The fight against excess weight begins in the head, otherwise nothing will come of it. Those who are losing weight can surround themselves with things like those who have already lost weight. For example, buy a smaller item, or a sports bike.
Besides this, everything, absolutely everything that was present in the housing during his life “as a full person” needs to be changed. For example, rearrange the furniture, change the curtains, change the tablecloth on the table, move huge things out of sight, etc. Primitive, at first glance, advice has a large psychological basis. You just start leading a different life, in a different environment, as if you had never been overweight, and you will see that it will have an effect. No more dieting. Your body will begin to look for products that suit it to help you lose weight.
Surround yourself with pictures of people in great shape, and imagine yourself like that too. It works! Thus, you program yourself to voluntarily lead a healthy lifestyle. Donuts, chocolate, cola - all this will not give you taste pleasure, because now you have a goal to lose excess weight. Your brain itself will automatically limit you to unhealthy diets, force you to go in for sports, and become what you want. It is quite possible! You just have to believe in it. And the formula here is simple. Eat less, eat right, exercise - lose weight. However, this formula only works when you program yourself for it, namely, believe that you will someday become slim. The same goes for life goals.
The disease of modern man is that he is exposed to the enormous influence of unnecessary information. TV, the Internet - all this is replete with various news, it takes a huge amount of time to properly understand it. Learn to separate useful information from useless information - don't waste your time.
You're not doing things that align with your goals.
It's not difficult to make decisions when you know what your values are.
Roy Disney
Outsiders confuse busyness with productivity. It is a mistaken belief that productivity directly depends on employment. That's why losers take on everything. They take part in anything. As a result, they scatter their efforts into nowhere. The only thing they don't focus their efforts on is their goals and their values.
Write down your goals and strategy for achieving them. This will help you determine where you really need to focus your efforts. “The more important you consider it, the more likely you will accomplish a task.”
How to stop being a loser?
If something doesn’t work out for you, if something doesn’t go the way you would like, find out what you’re doing wrong in this situation (analyze the failure). You don't need to think about what other people are doing. They do what suits their reaction to your actions. Most often, a person does not look beyond his nose, is guided by selfish desires and intentions to subjugate, win, or convince someone in something. This is what makes him act in such a way that other people become defensive and protected from his attacks. And this does not contribute to that “bright” vision of what is happening, which he would like to observe in real life.
Stop and try to figure out what exactly you are doing wrong that is causing others to do what they do (rather than do what you expect them to do). Change your actions, attitudes, beliefs, and then people change their behavior. It all depends on your behavior, which provokes others to take certain actions.
Of course, it is possible that other people react incorrectly to your actions or simply do not know how to communicate with you on a good basis. If you have analyzed your actions and determined that they are not expected to cause retaliatory aggression or fear, then look at what other people are doing. There are individuals who do not know how to behave friendly, there are people who constantly behave aggressively. Here you should think about whether you need to continue to have any dealings with these people. Why would you communicate with those who do not want to learn to be friendly if there is no aggression on your part?
Remember that in case of failure, always analyze your actions. If you think your actions were right, then think about why the situation did not happen the way you expected. Often, all participants in the process influence the course of events. But there are exceptions when individuals cannot behave otherwise than to provoke problems, scandals or destroy all that is good.
Have you failed? Did something terrible happen that you didn’t want? Well, this happens in life too. The world is full of good moments and bad. But this does not mean that you need to be depressed about it. Stay calm and energetic because your journey is not over yet.
Failure is just one fight away. But the fight itself is not over. You can again place the chess pieces in their places so that you can now play the next game. You're not going to move the figures the same way as you did last time, are you? In this case, in life you don’t need to try to achieve your goal using the methods that you have already tried and gave you a negative result.
You lost the fight, but the fight itself continues. Eat, “lick” your wounds, put yourself and your head in order and go on the attack again.
Only those people win who do not give up when they fail, do not doubt themselves, and do not blame others. Leave all these activities to the losers. Let them feel sorry for themselves, whine, and snot. Meanwhile, be a true leader who feels strong. You are worthy to achieve your goal. And to do this, you need to analyze the situation that happened, try to find benefit in it for yourself (at least you have gained experience and understanding of how not to achieve your goals). Then identify your erroneous actions that led to failure. There is no need to continue doing them unless you are ready to fail again. Think about how else you can achieve your goal, that is, develop new tactics for your behavior that you think can help you achieve what you want.
You don't know how to communicate and treat people
You can easily judge a person's character by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
Johann Goethe
Losers have no social skills. “At least I’m being honest,” “I am who I am, deal with it,” these are the phrases that losers say. Unsuccessful people behave arrogantly without any reason to do so. Who likes show-offs? So don't be one! It's very easy to be nice and polite to someone you like. And you try to behave well with someone from whom you cannot get anything.
There is an excellent saying that the best way to test a person's character is to look at his behavior in line and his attitude towards the service staff. Another good way to get to know a person is to look at their reaction when you ruin their thing.
Belief in the injustice of fate towards oneself
Losers tend to complain about their problems, they are ready to talk about them all day long.
They often blame everyone but themselves for their failures. This attracts negativity, plus no one wants to communicate with such an interlocutor.
Reluctance to have breakfast and drinking coffee
It has been proven that the body's productivity is highest in the morning. Therefore, important tasks must be completed before noon. Skipping breakfast greatly depletes the body until lunch.
And morning coffee does not have the best effect on your health; it is better to drink a glass of water with lemon in the morning.
Inability to perceive the emotions of others
If a person does not understand how others feel at the moment, it will be difficult for him to break out in society and take a leading position. Thanks to the ability to read the emotions of others, you can easily adapt to people.
Desire to develop in one direction
Every member of society has his own skills and abilities in which he is ideal. But successful individuals are not limited to this; they tend to constantly learn in order to improve.
It is important to understand that smart and successful people develop, you need to follow them
Representation by full name
It’s an amazing fact, but the more simply a person calls himself by name, the more successful he is. Short names look more attractive, open and always inspire confidence in society.
A striking example is the billionaires of our time, for example, William Henry Gates III simply calls himself Bill Gates.
Lack of style in clothing and excessive fatness
When society sees an overweight person in shapeless clothes, it creates the feeling that he does not know what self-control and good taste are.
Fit and slender individuals always attract the attention of others and command respect
Inability to refuse a request
Only those who are confident in themselves and are ready to fight for their interests can afford to refuse or object. To succeed, you need to be able to refuse people and object; this is a striking feature of successful individuals.
Rare display of feelings
By paying attention to loved ones, a successful person feels satisfied and happier, because he knows that his loved ones will support him at any moment. Kisses and hugs significantly improve immunity by reducing stress
In fact, becoming successful is not so difficult, the main thing is to take the above tips into account in your life every day.
Photo: Pixabay
You put everything off until later
The funny thing is that losers call themselves the fashionable word “procrastinators.” And they are absolutely not ashamed of it. They don't understand the value of time at all. They are quite content to live in yesterday. Losers live as if they have another life left. But in reality, no one has the opportunity to pause life or rewind a little. Realize that you are dying from the moment you are born. Every day is a gift. You can do whatever you want, but keep in mind that tomorrow may not exist.
Examples of replacing limiting settings
Limiting Belief | Positive belief |
There is never too much honest money; | I'm happy with any money. Money comes into my life freely, without shame, and without deception. |
There is never too much luck in life; | I am grateful for a kind, good period in my life. |
No matter what I start to do, it ends in failure. | I confidently start any business, and I also take my possible mistakes calmly and forgive myself. |
I'm afraid of being abandoned; | I love and rejoice, I enjoy the warmth of our relationship, I take care of myself and allow myself to be taken care of. |
A white streak in life is necessarily replaced by a black streak; | I enjoy life here and now. It’s too early to worry, we will solve problems as they arise. |
Change the wording gradually, without rushing. We caught 2-3 in our heads, reformulated them, and worked with a positive attitude for 3 weeks. And only then did we take on the next one. You may have your own list of limiting beliefs.
There are several more articles on my blog dedicated to self-development:
- Think and live positively;
- How to enjoy every day.
With faith in your success, Svetlana Vasenovich
You don't know how to deal with difficulties
There is one legend. It says that once upon a time there lived a shepherd who was small in stature and was not a warrior. He looked at the giant and said: “I will overcome you and cut off your head!” - and did it. The tests are only as difficult as you imagine and as your weakness allows. Losers don't understand this and quickly give up. They give up the moment the situation becomes uncomfortable.
There are no roses without thorns, children without labor and rainbows without thunderstorms. Trials not only bring us closer to our goals, but also make us into people we never dreamed of becoming. Don't be afraid of fears, fight them. This will open up new spaces for you. Yes, yes, we are again talking about the need to get out of your comfort zone. To find out your strength, you need to fight.
Conquer your fears and concerns
I feel like nothing. Such an attitude towards yourself will be impossible, because, approaching the final stage, you will already have something to be proud of. But to be completely satisfied, you need to take a few more steps:
- Select the optimal operating mode. An increase in the hormone cortisol leads to negative changes in the body. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to provide the brain with rest, since it is necessary to restore moral and spiritual strength.
- Control your emotions. You should not give in to impulsive desires and whims, and anxiety and fear must be kept under control.
- Listen to objective opinions from outsiders. It is necessary to find a person whom you can trust and consult with him on certain issues. Your own point of view and an outside view will help to recreate the true picture of what is happening.
- Normalize activity. Active activity suppresses fear. In order not to repeat “I feel useless,” it is better to do something than to sit and be afraid.
- Abstract yourself from negativity. It is recommended to think exclusively positively and not project negative experiences (your own and others) onto yourself. The expressions “I’m always unlucky” or “something bad always happens to me” should be permanently eliminated from your vocabulary.
- Avoid extremes. Since there are many shades between black and white in life, it is a wise decision to try not to be so categorical. It is necessary to consider the situation from different angles, be flexible and always be able to find a compromise.
To summarize, it should be said that thoughts and expressions like “I feel like nothing” have no place in a person’s head. Every individual is an individual who deserves respect. You cannot underestimate yourself, give up and mourn your difficult and unpromising life. It is necessary to try the above method; it must bring positive results. And such thoughts will be regarded as temporary weakness or seasonal melancholy. She passed as soon as the gentle sun appeared in the sky.
You are apathetic
You don't have an opinion and you can't make decisions. Unable to carry on intelligent conversations, unable to think openly if the topic is not from your area of expertise. Losers think that everyone should think the same way as them. Unsuccessful people don't read or study after school. At most, they graduate from college because “that’s the way it should be.” Even if they don't reach the limit of their potential, they don't care. They are capable of getting bored in a world of joy and miracles.
The quietest killer is apathy. Find yourself a hobby, do it. Even if you don't get paid for it. For now. Use your talent and find a use for it.
Be brave and determined
A person will never be able to say about himself that I am a nonentity if he listens to the following advice:
- Set yourself up for the long term. Only reasonable planning will lead to the long-awaited victory; quick successes are not always the key to well-being.
- Don't despair. You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself and analyze failures for a long time, this will turn into a useless waste of time. You need to draw the necessary conclusions and begin another attempt to improve your life.
- Don't stop halfway. If everything is going well, but the real result has not yet been achieved, do not stop. Not everything can change overnight, you need to be patient.
- Don't stop moving towards success. Even if you have almost no strength left, you need to take a little rest and move on. Real victories do not come on their own; they must be won. This is what all successful people did.
[edit] Links
- Article “Why am I such a loser? Who is to blame and what to do?" - the musician shares his thoughts...
[ + ] A loser is such a type of redneck. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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[edit] Psychological vampires
Some losers, unable to appreciate the true reasons for their bad mood, constantly seek emotional support from others. This is the type of loser complaining. Moreover, he complains about everything: he was born in the wrong country, at the wrong time, there is no money, the boss is an asshole, and even in the subway there is a crush, they won’t let him solve the crossword puzzle. The loser strives to tell all this to someone who will listen to all this and, especially preferably, coo/assent. It is useless to argue and give logical arguments due to the severe form of the patient's FGM.
In addition, psychological vampires strive to replenish their ranks (they are vampires!). For example, if someone from the psychological vampire’s circle suddenly doesn’t want to be a loser, then the psychological vampire makes every effort (aka “considers it his duty to guide”) to stop him.
Examples:
- I’m so tired of my boring life, I want to go to the rehearsal of the KVN team tomorrow, maybe they’ll let me play with them... - “Who needs you there? You don’t know how to play the guitar, you didn’t have a voice either, you just have to grimace on stage like an animal, it’s better to take notes, at least they write smart things here”;
- I'm so tired of walking down the street and shying away from every passerby. I'll sign up for boxing tomorrow. - “Well, if you like getting punched, sign up, then by the age of 30 you will be disabled, blows to the skull will not go away without a trace, and your teachers also told you from school that it’s not for you to hit people’s faces”;
- I want to open a business here, maybe it will work out... - “What a fool, why don’t you like unloading the cars? I had an acquaintance, he decided to start a business, he was imprisoned, his apartment was taken away for debts, do you want to do the same?”
In the form of arguments “why it’s not worth it”, sad arguments usually appear about how unfair the world is, that we were born in the wrong place, but maybe it would have turned out that way, and all this smoothly flows into daily whining.
[edit] See also
- Demotivators were once a useful resource for trolling losers. Now I've descended into fucking shit.
- The problem is you, Get it first, I feel sorry for you - arguments of losers against losers.
- This is not the main thing - the main argument of the losers.
- A midlife crisis will not pass by a loser.
- Become an hero is the solution to all problems.
- A maniac is what happens if the disease is not treated.
- Sad shit - sort of a loser.
- Nolifer - and another variety of...
- Poor - nuff said.
- Everyone is a fag, and I am d'Artagnan - until a loser realizes otherwise, he will remain a loser.