And we dig the hole ourselves...
Why is everything so difficult? This exclamation is usually characteristic of people who want to do too much without spending the proper time and effort on it. Life, in its essence, is not something complicated. Our perception is the stumbling block in human destiny. A word either destroys a person’s life or inspires him, giving him a portion of magical inspiration. Did you know that you don’t need a muse to be in an elevated state? You yourself, with your hard work, are able to cultivate the shoots of inspiration in yourself; all that remains is to cling to them with all your might and hold on for as long as possible.
Life is a difficult thing for a person who tries to control too much. The “director” of his life often faces obstacles like:
- lack of investment (lack of education, connections, funds);
- unexpected or irrational expenses (illness, gifts, helping others, repairs);
- social factor (failed relationships, quarrels with loved ones, fruitless arguments or persuasion), bureaucracy (certificates, passports, IDs and other paperwork), etc.
Having assessed the scale of what is happening, the average person may fall into complete despondency. “Life is a complicated thing!” the “directors” exclaim, but they have no idea that changing the spectrum of perception would help them gain the long-awaited freedom. Of course, we will always depend on external circumstances. But the shackles of the universal burden can be thrown off only when you reach a new level. Why is everything so difficult? Reflecting on this issue leads to one simple truth - we cannot control everything. Of course, this phrase is not an axiom. You can try this for yourself, but, as the experience of many people shows, the desire to put everything in your own order can sooner or later lead to a nervous breakdown.
What will people say
Here, too, there may be either an overbearing mother, or an anxious one, whose frequent phrase is: “What will people say?” And then these abstract people are more important, smarter than you. Based on their opinion, you do not make your own decisions, do not listen to yourself.
Solution: ask yourself the question: “What is the worst thing they can say about me and what will happen to me for this?” More often than not, nothing terrible will happen and the world will not collapse. Then do what you want.
It's not just like that...
Opinions differ on this issue. Some argue that the Universe has prepared a certain scenario for us in advance, while others are confident that we ourselves are both the greatest good and the greatest evil for ourselves. And indeed, everything is not as simple as we would like it to be. The fact is that we are a product of our actions and thoughts, and sometimes one phrase like “I refuse to eat meat” already radically changes our life. Have you noticed that with different moods, even the course of fate proceeds differently? Falling ice cream is either an evil fate or a funny farce that haunts us for half our lives.
Our well-being will depend on the emotions that we invest in this event. Genuine laughter at yourself or nervous excitement can set the tone for the whole evening. Now think about the totality of such evenings. All this becomes a motto in life. Every moment you live adds another layer to your collection of experiences. Why not learn to take advantage of the moment - instead of momentary anger, feel the comedy of your own situation and allow yourself to enjoy even the moment of your own failure. After all, the pleasure of life is what every living person subconsciously strives for. All that's left is to come out into the light.
Trickier than Adam
We don’t just live; besides life itself, we have another amazing gift. We are absolutely free. We have the opportunity to make certain decisions, speak or remain silent, believe or not believe, forgive or not forgive, fight or give up. There are no conditions or circumstances, except, perhaps, death, that would deprive us of the opportunity to perform a volitional action, make a decision or commit an act.
In my pastoral work, in conversations with people who come and very often complain that life is breaking down, that nothing is working out, that everything is lost, and nothing can be returned, I remember the parable of one rich man who came to the elder for advice.
The man did not tell anything new: his life was broken, his wife left, his daughter was hopelessly ill, his son did not communicate with him, and his life’s work had fallen into disrepair due to economic difficulties. The elder advised him to calm down, put himself in order, live the way he lives, pray and not fall into despair. And hang an inscription on the door of his almost empty house: “All this will soon pass.” The man listened to the elder and did as he ordered. And after a while he returned to him with joy, thanked him and told him that everything in his life had miraculously changed for the better. The elder blessed him and said: “Live, thanking God, but do not remove the inscription from the door.”
God. Is He in our lives? Everyone will answer this question differently, and this diversity is also the result of the great gift of freedom that was once given to us. To be close to Him, to live according to His commandments, or not to be and not to live is everyone’s right and choice. People are all very different, but in the whole world and in the centuries of our earthly existence there was not a single person whom God did not love. I would not love as if he were the only one in the Universe.
And although there is nothing new under the sun, and from generation to generation we solemnly carry the same rake to ourselves and our grandchildren, not a single person in this world has repeated himself. Just as there was once only one Adam, so everyone who comes into this world lives, is born and dies in their amazing uniqueness.
We live with our wisdom, which says that “there is something out there in the Universe”, some “mind”, “higher power”, “absolute” and so on. We live, justifying ourselves that God must be in the soul, everything else is not important. But these philosophies are nothing more than a repetition of the mistake of Adam himself, who tried to hide from God in the shade of the trees. We hide from Him too, it’s just that we are already more cunning than Adam, since he hid from his shame and fear, and sometimes it is simply inconvenient for us to live, knowing God, knowing that many of our actions are denounced by our conscience, which testifies to us that we are wrong. And conscience is not just “something in the psyche”, it is that, very often invisible to us, a place in ourselves where God sometimes still lurks.
But we prefer to reassure ourselves that no one has seen God anywhere, and the rest is “from men.”
Truth is in the eye of the beholder
We get so used to the role of “director” that we forget that we are gradually turning into puppets of another management. Any individual desire for power or control obliges us to submit to those who are most privileged. The freedom of one ends where the freedom of another ends.
But if you do not encroach on the freedom of other people and, first of all, yourself, you can realize that we do not belong to ourselves or anyone else. We are just a shadow of our actions and thoughts - this is the result of reflection. Why is everything so difficult? Because, without understanding ourselves, we try to build other things and end up being knocked out.
Impact of past failures
If you once had to make an important choice and this choice turned out to be not very successful, then next time you are afraid to make a mistake. This bad experience is holding you back. It's scary to make a mistake again, even if the situations are not similar.
Exit: answer the questions:
- What experience have you had from past bad choices? Besides the negative, what useful things did he bring into your life?
- How does the current choice differ from the previous one?
- What qualities do you have now that you didn’t have then?
How to find the truth?
And although this concept will forever remain a mystery of philosophy, we can produce new versions of truths in our subconscious. To do this, it is enough to turn off the “director” within yourself and allow the “observer” to come out.
Who is an "observer"? This is a person who knows how to abstract himself from everything that happens. To enter the role of an “observer,” you need to learn to view your life through the prism of a distant viewer. The viewer worries about the hero, but in sad moments he does not lose the feeling that everything that is happening is just a picture, a story, the outcome of which is impossible to predict. “The Observer” learns to enjoy any plot, and this is far from masochism. He empathizes with the “main character”, but in his head he is not convinced that this happens only to him. All events are the product of sequential actions, which can be admired endlessly. You can always scroll through possible incidents in your head, but true pleasure comes from the opportunity to look at yourself from the point of view of an “observer” - the situation is released and turns into another exciting blockbuster/thriller with you in the lead role.
Others know better
The reason is low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, a feeling of incompetence, and abdication of responsibility. Then you are surrounded by “strong” individuals to whom you run for advice with or without reason.
The solution: in this situation is not so obvious. If at a deep level, then go to a psychologist (of course, to me). And if technically, then increase your importance in your own eyes: express your opinion; praise yourself; try to make decisions and don’t scold yourself for the choice you made (you may be haunted by the thought that if you had done it differently, the outcome would have been better).
Why is everything so difficult or how to live easier?
In order for the feeling of being cornered to disappear, you don’t need to become a brainless idol, as many people think. Happiness is not in ignorance. Happiness lies in knowledge and its correct application. This is exactly the result we get in life - any knowledge is meaningless without practical application. Is it really that complicated? Why do we forget that truth is in the eye of the beholder? Despite all social attitudes and rules, freedom is achievable, and it starts with you. A thought when you wake up can create a new day for you. A pleasant event - to turn your head and lift you to the skies. The sad thing is to plunge into the darkness of hopelessness and joyless existence.
The human subconscious is a collection of experiences that continue to influence us in the future. By changing our attitude towards something, we allow ourselves to break through a new path that will change the given vector.
Constant worry
Emotionality is part of human nature. We get angry, happy, stressed, and all these feelings make us human.
However, emotions and experiences do not always have a positive effect on our behavior and mental well-being. For example, constant anxiety. She steals our energy. And the more we worry, the more difficult our life seems to us.
Unfortunately, not all of us consider the glass half full. For many, a positive outlook on the world requires serious effort on oneself and constant training. Several things can help you cope with anxiety:
- breathing exercises;
- meditation;
- cardio training;
- keeping a diary;
- yoga;
- listening to music;
- chat with friends.
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