Who among us has not looked at the intricate designs on wallpaper, walls, and fabrics? If you know how to knit, then you are very familiar with the concept of rapport: this is the same pattern that is repeated in the product many times at certain intervals. However, the knitted product itself consists of many loops.
Photo by Katie E: Pexels
Watch your breathing: inhalation follows exhalation. This repeats automatically. You don't think about these actions. If you set a goal and track your behavior throughout the day, you will notice:
- repetitive actions brought to automaticity,
- words, they are called “parasites”, which you repeat in different situations and don’t notice it;
- emotions that arise in response to external influences.
In this article:
Definition of the concept of a patternBasic properties of a patternClassification of patternsReference point Creature of habitGood and badPatterns in communicationHow to change a pattern
Definition of a pattern
All this has a name - a pattern. Pattern, literally translated from English, means pattern, pattern, diagram, model, sample. A synonym for the concept of pattern can be defined as regularity.
If combined, it turns out that a pattern is a scheme or model that repeats itself automatically, thanks to which patterns in nature, society, human perception and behavior are revealed. A pattern in psychology is a set of behavioral reactions or a stable sequence of actions, as well as a combination of sensory stimuli that arise to characterize certain external objects.
How to prescribe an algorithm for new actions
Identify your red buttons
Analyze where you stumbled, what you reacted to, what became the trigger : voice timbre, intonation, feeling of pressure on you.
Please note that with the participation of an outsider, the situation is not very compelling, but with a loved one, it causes insane resistance.
Stop at the right moment
Knowing your triggers, you are able to catch the very moment of turning point and prevent undesirable developments.
When you stop yourself, there is a five-second delay. And this time is enough to make a different choice.
Basic properties of the pattern
Patterns are found in every field of activity, and you constantly deal with them in your daily life. Patterns have certain properties by which they can be easily recognized:
- constant steady repetition;
- the unconscious nature of the manifestation, determined by a clear algorithm that is difficult to correct;
- full or partial manifestation of the repetition algorithm. If the repetition is not complete, then it is called a code, and serves as a trigger for the execution of the entire pattern scheme. The coding method is widely used in psychology to correct psychological reactions to different types of external stimuli;
- in psychology, different patterns rarely exist in isolation from each other. The starting point is considered to be an innate pattern, onto which other patterns are superimposed in the process of acquiring relevant life experience. In this way, behavioral stereotypes and habits are formed, which inevitably influence the formation of a person’s character and his lifestyle;
- constant development and formation of new types of patterns. Pattern algorithms may change as you gain relevant life experience. An example of such a pattern transformation can be a change in the type of your behavior when you start living with someone in a couple. Bachelor habits appear very clearly for a while, but over time they are replaced by new types of behavior.
What is a pattern of behavior in psychology?
What behavior patterns tell us about us and how to use them
The following point is of particular interest: knowing how a certain person behaved in certain situations, what patterns of behavior he has, you will be able to determine his actions and actions in similar situations
.
True, before drawing conclusions, it is necessary to thoroughly study the personality itself and its behavioral patterns. The simplest example is if your friend easily makes promises left and right, but has not yet fulfilled any (or at least few), what is the chance that he will do what he promises you? The same applies to acquaintances who always borrow and do not repay their debts. If patterns developed in childhood change, they do so with difficulty.
That is why a girl choosing a groom should pay attention to his attitude towards his mother. The fact is that several years after marriage, when the stage of falling in love has passed, men often (but not always) display the same behavioral algorithms towards their spouse that they developed towards their mother. It is also important that, as a rule, for close communication we choose people with similar behavior patterns
. That's why they say about some girls that they, for example, have a talent for finding scoundrels. In fact, such ladies are simply looking for a person who fits the implementation of their pattern. And, apparently, in this case we are dealing with a model of behavior in which a man must deceive a woman, disrespect her, he is a king - she is a nobody, and so on. In the same way, it is not a man who is “lucky” with overly flighty girlfriends, but he subconsciously looks for cheating girls. And when one of them leaves him, he will look for another - with the same behavior that fits his psychological pattern. Although at the level of consciousness it may seem to him that he will not be caught again and the next lady of his heart will be completely different.
Pattern classification
In the field of psychology, behavioral patterns have their own classification. Stand out:
- congenital or hereditary;
- acquired or creative;
- positive or comfortable;
- negative or erroneous;
- social and individual;
- communicative.
Each of these classes, in turn, is divided according to the place and quality of its manifestation. Let's take a closer look at the main types of patterns in psychology using examples.
Good and bad
In fact, all other classes of behavioral patterns are varieties of acquired ones. It’s no secret that every person develops a large number of bad and good habits and skills. They significantly affect your quality of life, and some are very difficult to get rid of.
An example of a negative pattern is smoking. You start to feel nervous or feel relaxed and want to smoke a cigarette. Anyone who has had experience fighting this bad habit knows well how difficult the process of giving it up is.
Acquired patterns also include behavioral patterns. It is very difficult for a shy and reserved person to have open communication with other people, and this leaves an imprint on the development of his personality and interferes with social realization.
Overcoming such behavioral stereotypes requires outside help, and it is better to turn to an experienced specialist. It will help to identify the reasons that served as the beginning for the formation of the pattern, and, with the help of certain methods of psychological correction, the pattern will be changed towards a more comfortable psychological reaction.
Three Key Ingredients to Help Change Old Destructive Behavior Patterns
Highest choice
At every moment in time, in every situation, learn to make choices that will lead to the best scenario for the unfolding of events.
The ability to make the highest choice , especially in serious situations, is a state of awareness.
Let's say you had an unpleasant conversation with a person. You can be offended, as most women do, or show aggression and attack a person in response to his inappropriate behavior.
But the highest choice in this situation will be not to get involved . Switch to the observer position in time.
Use two simple meditations that will help you avoid getting involved in conflict situations.
Learn not to take everything that happens and what is said personally. Understand that the event may have nothing to do with you personally.
Often the understanding of the highest choice comes after the fact.
But even if these realizations come later, after a while, this is already a breakthrough, since you were able to see another solution .
This means that the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you will be able to slow down, stop, and make an informed choice.
Most people unknowingly continue to get drawn into the game of “energy ping-pong.”
If you fail to react automatically in a difficult situation, pause and mentally say “stop.”
Take a deep breath in and out into your solar plexus and ask yourself this question: Will my response be the highest choice for me right now?
With the help of the Creation of Higher Reality meditation, you can absorb the sensations of the highest manifestation of yourself so that you can tune in to this vibration in your daily life and make the highest choices.
In situations where you are one of the participants, and not the main character, sometimes it is enough to press pause and let events unfold on their own .
To stop feeding this powerful flow of negative thoughts that will appear in your head at great speed.
Without your nourishment in the form of experiences, events will unfold in the most magical way.
Pressing pause and allowing the situation to happen without your participation is also a manifestation of the highest choice.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is not to become emotionally immersed in worries, confusion and clarification, but to maintain balance .
Let's say you are faced with a choice: save your family or lose it, move to a new job or stay in your old one.
You cannot guarantee that the situation will unfold exactly the way you want.
Your task is to maintain balance from the inside, maintain this state and not get involved.
When you have a clear understanding inside that this is the highest choice for you, you broadcast an even state from within.
See also Why it is important to let go of destructive programs, roles, outdated emotional reactions
Exit from a reality you don’t want to be in
If something really annoys you, and you understand that it has nothing to do with you, you have the right to choose NOT to be part of what is happening.
You make a conscious decision to disconnect from this process.
If those around you are sorting things out among themselves, you can be present or withdraw yourself.
People have every right to continue their games of destructive relationships, but this has nothing to do with you personally.
Only you can choose what you want to be a part of.
If you want to be in a state of calm and harmony, and certain circumstances or characters constantly knock you out of it, you simply must exclude yourself from this social circle out of self-love.
See also If relationships with parents are like a minefield - why and what to do Find out how to save yourself and your relationship with your parents.
There are often situations when adult children sort things out with their partners, or parents have a showdown, or brothers and sisters share something.
Recognize their right to these roles. In any situation, there is agreement at the soul level of each participant to play out a certain scenario.
Ask yourself, do you want to be part of someone else's scenario or are you ready to make your highest choice?
Think about what situations and circumstances it’s time to exclude yourself from , because you don’t want to be part of it from the inside.
Allow yourself to be OUTSIDE of the reality that you refuse to be a part of.
Acknowledgment and letting go
When forgotten, practiced destructive patterns return, admit that you are playing at it and let it go.
Switch to the position of an actor who clearly understands that this is a script, instead of falling into a difficult state for a long time and sincerely believing in the reality of what is happening.
If you have already replaced old unconstructive patterns of behavior, driven by various traumas and problems, and suddenly after that you again fall into the state of a victim, catch yourself in this thought and admit that you are an actor in this action.
At this moment the situation turns into a theater of the absurd.
“The state of the victim. How to get out of it.” Thanks to the signs that are described in it, you will learn to recognize this state in yourself and learn ways to escape the consciousness of the victim.
You can pretend to be offended in order to raise a child, husband, or someone else.
Or speak out aggressively, since the person may not understand otherwise. It’s just that your words won’t reach him without a harsh tone, he won’t hear them differently.
But you personally perceive this with an inner smile, because you do not experience a state of resentment or aggression.
Because you don’t get stuck in the role of a victim, in suffering and torment, and don’t really feel angry.
You simply accept that you are an actor in this situation. You play and let go of passions, without scandals and reproaches.
This helps to take many things less seriously.
See also: How to Transcend the Limitations of the Mind
After you have realized the old patterns in behavior, write down the algorithm of your actions in a new way.
Patterns in communication
If you observe the behavior of people in their ordinary, everyday life, you can note that each of us, in the process of interacting with other people, uses a wide range of facial expressions, a system of gestures, and a set of standard phrases. When you meet, you say hello, a corresponding emotional mask appears on your face. These are communication patterns. Based on them, we can draw conclusions about the emotional state of the interlocutor, his inclinations, and even his personality type.
Negative communication patterns include gestures or words that are difficult to get rid of, and you have to constantly be in a state of conscious communication for some time, which causes certain inconvenience, since there is internal emotional, and sometimes physical, tension.
The implementation of communication patterns can be observed when two hearing-impaired people communicate. They talk using certain gestures, each of which has a semantic meaning.
How Behavioral Patterns Work
People, in principle, are characterized by stereotyping behavior: we develop certain ways of interacting with the world around us. This is explained by the principle of rationality - instead of inventing new ones every time
ways to respond to a particular phenomenon, it is easier to use a ready-made model. This applies to all patterns - thinking, verbal, behavioral, and many others.
Patterns of behavior are formed in the process of training, education, and observation of others. This process starts from childhood and is most active in childhood. We look at what patterns other people use in different situations and we adopt (or don't adopt) those patterns. We inherited this rather convenient and effective method of learning and socialization from our ancestors, for whom it was one of the means of survival (it should be noted that copying behavior is used not only by humans and is very common in the animal world, but this area is beyond the scope of our article) .
Returning to modern man, we note that in childhood patterns are often simply copied almost unchanged (this is why they say that the best way to raise a child is to demonstrate to him certain behavioral characteristics by example). As we get older and our behavior patterns become more complex, the patterns are borrowed less obviously and less actively. In addition, they, as a rule, are not taken in their original form, but are modified to “fit” into our character, other behavior patterns, etc. Perhaps the best reflection of the whole process will be the saying: “Whoever you mess with, you’ll gain from it.” And here we are not only talking about negative qualities - you can also “acquire” positive models.
