Frequent psychological problem: mental pain. How to get rid of mental pain Advice from a psychologist

Causes of mental pain

There can be many reasons for this phenomenon. For emotional people, any trifle can cause deep emotion, while people with a stable psyche can withstand major tragic incidents. Psychologists have identified 3 such groups: failures in love, fiasco in the professional sphere and the death of loved ones.

Disappointments in love

One of the main reasons why moral suffering occurs is the pain of parting with a loved one. The reasons for this event may be different, but most often separation occurs due to the fact that one of the couple begins a relationship with another person.

An abandoned person feels that he was betrayed, cheated on, someone else was preferred to him, and this sometimes causes unbearable suffering. The mental pain from love is the stronger, the stronger the feelings, and can last for many years. Moreover, both women and men are susceptible to this feeling.

Experiencing a feeling of bewilderment and lack of understanding why this happened, the abandoned person rapidly loses faith in himself, and a feeling of inferiority begins to form, which sooner or later will lead to neurosis. Against this background, a feeling of guilt arises when the abandoned partner blames himself for the breakup of the relationship, engages in self-criticism and unreasonable self-deprecation.

The whole complex of negative factors can lead to severe mental disorders, such that will require the intervention of psychotherapists and drug treatment, including in a specialized hospital.

Job loss

Professional self-realization is important for any person; he consciously receives an education and looks for a place of work where he can make every effort to achieve success.

It is all the more offensive for those people who, for one reason or another, lose their position, especially if they have worked in this organization for many years.

In such a situation, you cannot let things take their course; you need to look for a new job, using all means for this - the labor exchange, dating, the Internet. Active activity will not allow severe mental anguish to arise.

Losing a loved one

When a loved one dies—a relative, a spouse, a friend—every person experiences a deep sense of grief. The pain of loss is always difficult to experience, since nothing in this situation can be corrected.

The only way to survive mental anguish is to realize and accept the accomplished fact for granted and continue to live. Over time, mournful feelings will become a bright sadness for someone who has passed into another world, and only positive memories will be preserved.

Sport is the best doctor

Nothing dispels sadness like active training. Fortunately, in the modern world there are a huge number of all kinds of sports clubs and gyms, so finding the right one will not be difficult.

Sport can not only distract from current problems, but can also strengthen the will. Will make the mind more resistant to psychological stress and stress. He teaches you to win and overcome your own fears and failures.

The most difficult thing in this method is to take the first step, go out the door and go to the right address. And if you still can’t force yourself, then at least you should start doing exercises in the morning. Even if not much, it will help.

Heartache

Mental pain is a term that is often used by ordinary people, but it is relatively rarely used by specialists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists.

Pain in the soul is perhaps the most common complaint with which people come to see a doctor and can be considered a common symptom of many borderline mental states of psychiatric diseases.

Pain in the soul or mental pain - each person defines and describes this condition to the doctor in his own way. In this short text we will try to collect the most common complaints from both patients and their relatives.

Feelings of mental pain

Mental pain - how do people define this condition?

Those who have experienced mental pain describe it as excruciating suffering, difficult to describe in ordinary words, with which a person, most often, is left alone. Painkillers do not help, sedatives and alcohol can only intensify this torment. In some cases, only sleep can postpone and postpone this suffering for some time.

Using alcohol or sedatives to get rid of mental pain is dangerous by developing addiction and, in the future, increasing pain in the soul.

People around you usually cannot see a person’s internal experiences “from the outside,” since this is intensely hidden from prying eyes. We must look decent and others should not see our problems!

Often our patients admit that even the closest people do not understand (or cannot understand), do not see (or cannot see) and do not even believe that mental experiences can be of the nature of unbearable, sometimes even physically felt, pain .

Mental pain due to depression

With depression, pain in the soul (or mental pain) can reach such a degree of severity that it becomes unbearable, either physically or psychologically. The person begins to “throw around,” moan and “scream” from the suffering he experiences. Sleep is disturbed, which is often accompanied by disturbing dreams, which can be perceived as an omen or “prophetic dream”; profuse sweating often occurs during sleep. Sometimes people even stop feeling physical pain, for example, from blows, burns or other wounds. People who have suffered such conditions note that no physical pain they know (from injuries, heart attacks, severe wounds) is incomparable in strength to the suffering in the presence of mental pain.

It is difficult to describe in words the pain in the soul, since each person feels it differently; most often, patients find it difficult to specify or formulate these painful sensations. In some cases, mental pain can manifest itself as distinct physical sensations, such as:

• feeling of pressure,
• "petrification"
• burning or coldness in the chest,
• heaviness or pain in the heart area,
• pain or discomfort in the abdomen (stomach, intestines),
• pain or heaviness between the shoulder blades or back,
• feeling of nausea,
• palpitations (tachycardia, angina pectoris, coldness in the chest).

And almost always pain in the soul is accompanied by unpleasant experiences, such as:

• depression,
• apathy,
• yearning,
• anxiety,
• "joylessness"
• "feeling of emotional numbness"
• "feeling of absence of feelings"
• other sensations, often the most exotic.

Definition of Heartache

What is pain in the soul? Is this a disease or a protective reaction of the body?

From a doctor's perspective, it's both.

The brain, in this way, tries to convey to us, to signal that it is sick and needs help to cope with today's problem. If he is not helped today, then tomorrow this condition may provoke the formation of a more complex mental pathology.

Mental pain as a defensive reaction

Any person can experience mental pain, including those who are mentally healthy, for example, those who have experienced a significant loss of someone or something. Many conflicts that seem insoluble can cause a feeling of pain in the soul for people with a certain personality type (suspicious, anxious, with increased responsibility, always doubting everything). In these cases, mental pain is regarded as a protective reaction of the psyche to excessive stress.

Mental pain as a symptom of a disease

However, it is not uncommon for mental pain to be a manifestation (symptom) of mental illness (mental disorder)

It should be noted that the expression itself, “mental illness,” has a direct origin from the words mental pain. The feeling of mental pain is the most common symptom of the most common mental disorder in recent years - depression.

Ways to overcome

Heartache occurs due to many reasons. Someone experienced the death of a loved one, another broke up with a partner.

Not everyone can overcome pain and continue living. Getting rid of mental wounds takes time and the desire to recover. Despondency often turns into depression, so you shouldn’t start fighting the pain.

Allow yourself to feel

You should not hide the fact that the pain drags on and it becomes more and more difficult to get out. The soul groans, the heart is broken, unfortunately, this is normal. You need to give free rein to your emotions - scream, hit a pillow, break the hated teapot. During treatment, you should not suppress tears. Crying helps release pain and overcome it.

Meditation helps in accepting emotions, which directs thoughts in a peaceful direction. But you need to calm the flow of ideas only after a painful outburst.

Share with loved ones

Parents and friends are able to find words of support and help overcome the burden when it seems that there is no salvation. It is necessary to speak out to people who are part of your circle of trust. Friends and parents will be able to give advice and tell you their point of view on a specific situation.

Regular meetings or conversations with loved ones are very effective. Such moments will become a pleasant ritual, will force a person to wait for the appointed day and find interesting topics for conversation. You should not drink alcohol in any quantity, as alcohol can cause strong emotions that will be difficult to cope with.

For cases when conversation is impossible, a personal diary will come in handy. Every thought should be written down in it, pain should be expressed. There is no need to be shy and hold back, as no one will read these sheets. If necessary, the diary can be burned, which will become a bridge between the stages of life.

No need for drama

It is typical for a person to have a long discussion of a painful situation and memories. This behavior leads to being “stuck” in the experience and unable to accept the loss or breakup. Negative emotions are natural, but you should not create the habit of dramatizing and exaggerating the scale of the problem.

The cause of mental pain can be reminded (consciously and unconsciously) by relatives of the sufferer, giving advice, mentioning unpleasant names or events. To eliminate such provocations, it is worth stopping communication with such individuals at least for a while.

Responsibility

A person needs to accept the fact that depression cannot last forever. It is necessary to take responsibility for your own life and look for ways to recover.

It is worth analyzing actions and thoughts, understanding the impact of actions on the outcome and admitting mistakes. Sometimes taking responsibility for your life manifests itself in changing your lifestyle and forming healthy habits.

Acceptance of feelings

To survive a spiritual crisis, it is worth spending time studying your condition and understanding the reason for the appearance of certain feelings.

Psychologists have developed a practice that consists of compiling a list of tasks that were completed during the week and the sensations that appeared after completing the recorded actions. This will help you get rid of the feeling of wasted time and set priorities.

Finding activities that bring you joy on a daily basis will help you adopt an attitude toward routine, socialization, and find a way to cope with pain.

Lifestyle change

A person cannot survive mental pain without personal changes. To cleanse, it is worth changing the furnishings in the apartment; it is enough to restore order and rearrange the furniture.

Several actions that the body requires daily:

• dream;
• nutrition;
• movement.

It is necessary to learn to enjoy food, it is worth creating a balanced nutrition plan. It is important to get enough sleep and go to bed before midnight, since sleep is the basis for restoring mental balance.

“In order to forget the shaky and unfaithful past, you need to create a new history for yourself.” (Paulo Coelho)

Movement and sports force the body to produce happiness hormones, so if you are in mental pain, you need to force yourself to go for a walk and do exercises.

Caring for loved ones

If sadness has gripped your heart, you should remember your family and friends and surround them with care. It is often difficult to take the first step towards, especially when a person thinks only about the cause of the pain. The response and gratitude of loved ones will help restore strength and desire to live.

Caring for a pet will create an object on which to direct thoughts and care. Walking, playing and having a living creature nearby will heal the soul, creating positive energy that can be spent on yourself and your pet. It is necessary to approach the choice responsibly so as not to create discomfort for your pet in the future.

Dreams

Having your head in the clouds helps to distract from negative emotions and makes a person find ways to develop or achieve a dream.

Thinking through every little detail of desire in detail helps you move towards your goal, overcoming pain. There is no need to suppress dreams by arguing about a recent loss or breakup. Dreams are an opportunity to plunge into another world, the achievement of which will help cope with pain.

Destroying Negative Emotions

Memories do not appear on their own. A song that is associated with a specific event or a soft toy will certainly cause a flood of tears or anger. Therefore, it is necessary to remove reminders and cleanse personal space from the source of pain.

It is not forbidden to think about what happened, but thoughts should be directed toward the positive. If memories cause pain, you should switch to pleasant or neutral impressions. A change in environment helps clear away negativity: from decluttering closets to new walking routes.

No bad habits

Often people try to drown out the pain with alcohol and drugs. Due to mental anguish, a person does not want to solve the problem, but seeks to escape from it through intoxication. Addictions only aggravate the situation, adding physical dependence to the experience.

Meditation can help you cope with stress if you practice regularly. A person is free to choose suitable techniques for himself, music that will set him in the right mood. Working with breathing practices will be beneficial, helping to improve concentration and restore peace of mind.

The advantage of meditation is that it does not require a strictly defined time. A person allocates as many minutes as he can spare. The habit of meditating for 5 minutes in the morning disciplines and helps to create a small binding ritual, which over time will become a pleasant reason to get up.

Read more about how to get out of stress →

Allow yourself to dream a little

When a person begins to fantasize or imagine good moments, he is automatically healed. There is nothing wrong with dreams, visualize everything to the smallest detail. Imagine swimming in the sea or driving a newly purchased car.

Find 15-20 minutes a day for a flight of fancy. During a short-term stay in the virtual world, the border with reality is erased, existing problems become less important.

Turn on your favorite music, find a comfortable position and close your eyes. Experts have repeatedly proven that music therapy has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and improves mood. The released endorphins fight stress and smooth out difficult perceptions of reality. After 5 sessions, your attitude towards what is happening changes, and strength appears for new achievements.

Causes of mental pain

Mental pain can visit us in different life situations.

The loss of a loved one causes extreme emotional pain. At first the person cannot come to terms with what happened. He denies in every possible way what happened and does not want to accept it. Gradually, his consciousness accepts and comes to terms with what happened - this is the next stage of experiencing what happened. A person learns to live without the deceased, builds his life without him. All stages of suffering from loss must be gradual and consistent so that a person gets rid of mental pain in the required time frame. Usually grief goes away within a year of the absence of a loved one. After that, humility remains. Even in religion there are rules according to which you cannot cry for a long time for a deceased person, because “he will feel bad in the next world.” No one can check whether this is true, but long suffering will indeed not lead to anything good. Parting with a loved one. This is also one of the most powerful experiences. When a close loved one leaves, the world collapses, as well as all the plans made for life together

It is important here not to forget the reason why the separation occurred. Did he leave you? Then why do you need him like that? If a person could not consider all your advantages, you should not run after him and humiliate yourself

There will be someone who will appreciate you. And if you left him, then do not forget about the reasons why you made such a decision. Every time you think about his “beautiful eyes,” remember why you decided to break up. Illness of a family member or friend. It is also quite a strong and painful feeling. Especially when the disease is serious. Mental pain gnaws at any stage of the disease, especially if a child is sick. Parents feel incredibly guilty. It seems to them that they could have saved, protected, and noticed minor symptoms earlier. The feeling of guilt for not looking after the child gnaws from the inside. In this case, you need to try to pull yourself together and tell yourself that you are not to blame for anything. This could happen to anyone. And in general, you have every opportunity to return a sick person to his former life. Be strong at least for his sake. And don't stop fighting. Betrayal. When there is a betrayal of a dear and close person, mental pain shackles all the insides. This is very difficult to experience. This is not only about love betrayal, although this is also, undoubtedly, pure betrayal. A close friend or relative can also betray. After betrayal, the main thing is not to become angry at the whole world and not to become hardened. You need to accept that people are different and you didn’t get the best specimen. Humiliation. For a person, this feeling is another catalyst for severe mental pain. Children suffer when their parents undeservedly and unfairly punish them, a wife suffers from a tyrant husband, subordinates tiptoe around their demon boss in fear of losing their jobs. Such destruction of personality can be found all the time; it has a very strong effect on the psyche. A raped woman experiences the strongest emotional distress—mental pain remains with her almost until the end of her life. Getting rid of such an experience is not easy, because every time we replay the events of the ill-fated day in front of us and remember everything in detail. Any memory is like a knife stabbing into our heart. In this case, you need to understand that you are not to blame for the current situation, you were simply a victim in this case. Find the strength to accept this situation and move past it. Become stronger and prevent this from happening in later life.

These are the main, but not all, reasons why a person may experience mental pain. Anything can happen in life, because life is a series of good and bad moments, and you need to be able to cope with the negative.

Where do emotional shocks come from?

Many are sure that emotional distress can only arise after serious emotional upheaval. For example, the death of a loved one, the discovery of a serious illness, an accident, betrayal, and so on. Naturally, such life shocks will affect a person’s psyche, but the truth is that in most cases, the causes of mental pain are less noticeable reasons.

So, what can disrupt inner harmony and bring confusion into the soul?

1. Life behind a mask. In the modern world, you often have to lie, not only to others, but also to yourself. This is necessary to present yourself in a better light - to become more significant. But you will have to pay for the lie with your peace of mind, because our consciousness does not like being played with. And even more so, it will not calmly accept the fact that they want to change it.

2. Unfinished tasks. Quite often, mental pain arises from dissatisfaction with one’s own actions. For example, when, because of work, you have to sacrifice a child’s performance, or when, instead of going to the gym, a person lay on the couch all day. All these unfulfilled dreams, plans and meetings fall like a dead weight on your shoulders and are guaranteed to lead to emotional depression.

3. Powerlessness. Lack of money, strength, beauty, health, knowledge - this list can be continued for a very long time, but the essence is the same - powerlessness. When a person cannot get what he wants, he suffers.

How to live on

People can experience a difficult situation in different ways, and the consequences of losses manifest themselves differently depending on the characteristics of the person’s psyche.

Emotional suffering

There are people for whom the severance of an emotional connection is especially painful. System-vector psychology defines them as representatives of the visual vector.

For people with this type of psyche, emotions are important. In one hour they can experience the whole gamut of experiences from fear to love. They strive to build emotional connections with people with whom they can exchange secret feelings or give warmth of soul.

The loss of emotional connections makes their soul ache. Due to unbearable suffering, visual people may close down after experiencing trauma and avoid showing feelings in the future. By doing this they are driving themselves into a trap. After all, then they do not fully realize the abilities inherent in nature, which means they largely lose the ability to experience joy from life.

It happens the other way around, when mental pain makes it difficult for them to cope with their emotions. Containing feelings is beyond your strength. Sobs come, reality is difficult to comprehend due to emotional overexcitement. Such outbursts make your hands shake and your head hurt. Emptyness and melancholy take their place.

Such conditions may be the result of fear. It serves as the starting point for development in all people with a visual vector. Normally, in an adult, the emotion of fear is redirected into empathy, but in situations of severe stress, it happens that the usual response skills are washed away by the wave of a broken dam. Then the root fear of death can be exposed. It is not always realized and can be expressed at the psychosomatic level, including panic attacks.

Guilt

This condition is caused by the mental characteristics of the anal vector. Friendship and family are sacred for such people. If they are sure that they have hurt a loved one, they greatly reproach themselves for it. Self-criticism is fueled by the innate tenacious memory of the anal vector. She firmly captures the details of the past, even if she doesn’t want to remember them at all. What if there is no way to correct the past? A person may be stuck in a state of guilt for a long time and not know how to build his life further. The situation will change if we find a way to make amends by caring for those who need it.

Loneliness

People with the sound vector find it difficult to experience a breakup with a person with whom they have developed a spiritual relationship

With whom they could talk about something important, deep, and share intellectual insights. With whom could we remain silent on the same wavelength?

Such silent understanding is worth a lot for the owner of the sound vector. The loss of a loved one can feel like endless loneliness. But even when experiencing severe mental pain, a sound engineer may outwardly appear emotionless.

Mental pain carries a great charge of feelings

It is important to give them the right direction to cope with grief. It is difficult for a person to cope with suffering when he is focused on himself, on his feelings

If you direct your feelings outward, towards other people, and turn mental pain into empathy, then hopeless melancholy will be replaced by light sadness and endless gratitude to the person who was nearby.

Yes, nothing can change. What happened cannot be corrected... But a grandmother from a nursing home receives a glass of water from a volunteer. She was once young and energetic, but now she is unable to turn onto her other side without help. She needs help and empathy. A glass of water will not bring back youth, but she and the person who gave her a drink are no longer so alone.

This does not mean that the mental pain will immediately go away thanks to volunteering. But she will live differently. A person’s sensuality will open up at a new level. He will be able to use this resource to build a new, fulfilling life.

The exchange of feelings nourishes the soul like a spring feeds a river. If you block the underground spring, the river will dry up. Feelings come alive when we invest them in other people - and this brings us back to life.

By being aware of mental processes, understanding the cause-and-effect relationships of our sensations, a person ceases to be a hostage to difficult conditions. He gains the strength to live. This is how it has already happened for thousands of people after the training

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Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova

The article was written based on materials from the training “System-vector psychology”

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Manifestations of mental pain

Mental crisis manifests itself differently in different people. Someone can suffer in silence, without revealing their condition, and those around them do not even realize that the person is in trouble.

Some people may have obvious symptoms. Psychologists have identified several main signs.

Feelings of despair and longing

This feeling that appears after severe mental shocks is familiar to many. The person does not want to do anything, does not want to see anyone, often withdraws into himself, cries, refuses communication and food. All thoughts are aimed at the fact that an irreparable situation has arisen, which cannot be corrected.

Despair is intensified by unmotivated feelings of guilt, loss of self-confidence, and decreased self-esteem. The person thinks that in this situation there is no longer any point in living, and thoughts of suicide appear.

This situation is dangerous for both mental and physical health. These people cannot be left alone, even if they resist communication

It is important to maintain their faith in themselves and that, despite the current situation, they need to find strength in themselves and continue to live.

Reluctance to leave home

Quite often, the consequence of the tragic events that have occurred is that the suffering person seeks to retire, withdraw into himself, and completely limit communication with the outside world. He locks himself in his house and does not want to leave the apartment under any pretext.

Left alone with himself, he continues to experience negative emotions again and again, constantly cries, thinks that the meaning of life has been lost. Often, both men and women stop taking care of themselves, do not observe the rules of personal hygiene, and with prolonged solitude they begin to deteriorate, looking sloppy and unkempt.

When alone, a suffering person often has thoughts of suicide, and in moments of extreme despair he may try to carry out his plans.

Therefore, in moments when emotional pain becomes unbearable, you should never be alone for a long time.

Even if you don’t want to see anyone, it is important not to interrupt communication with other people, then it will be much easier to recover from a serious condition

Relatives and friends of a person experiencing severe mental discomfort need to know about this.

It is important to surround him with attention and care and thereby, perhaps, prevent another tragedy

Nervous effects

A person who experiences emotional experiences within himself in silence risks developing many nervous and mental illnesses, since he does not give vent to his emotions. They are gradually repressed into the subconscious, against this background, in most cases, severe neurosis gradually develops.

It is characterized by mental lability, unstable mood, outbursts of unmotivated aggression, tearfulness, and apathy. A person becomes unable to cope with his feelings; any event, even an insignificant one, can unsettle him.

A neighbor didn’t say hello, someone was pushed on the bus, an object got lost - any reason causes an explosion of emotions, after which a person feels completely devastated.

Neurotic behavior in most cases leads to a breakdown in relationships with loved ones. Problems often start at work - up to a proposal from management to vacate a position due to professional unsuitability. This only aggravates the neurotic’s condition and complicates the course of the disease.

Mental pain is often suppressed by alcohol, and with its excessive use, alcoholism necessarily develops. Women especially suffer from alcoholism, since their bodies are more susceptible to the harmful effects of ethanol. The problem is that alcohol provides only temporary relief, it does not eliminate problems, and the desire to forget again and again with the help of vodka and wine leads to a long binge, from which it is sometimes difficult to get out on your own. Therefore, when mental pain goes off scale, it is absolutely forbidden to drown your grief in alcohol, especially alone.

Another nervous consequence that can happen to anyone when experiencing severe mental pain is stress eating. To get rid of negative emotions, a suffering person finds the most accessible source of pleasure - food.

After eating food, especially sweet, fatty, high-calorie foods, the body receives some mood-lifting substances. In an effort to get as much of this doping as possible, a person begins to absorb food without knowing the limits. This quickly leads to metabolic and hormonal imbalances, which provokes the development of obesity, and then type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and pathologies of the reproductive system.

Man and woman: who is more susceptible

To answer, we must remember that both sexes belong to the same biological species. Therefore, the predisposition to suffering is practically not determined by gender. The tendency to experience mental anguish depends on temperament and resistance to stress.

The difference between a man and a woman lies in the manifestations of feelings, methods of healing.

Girls, due to the structure of neural connections, are characterized by stronger manifestations of external signs of pain:

• tears;
• screams;
• sudden mood swings, etc.

Male thinking, due to upbringing and certain social attitudes, forms a pattern that inhibits the emotional outburst of experiences. Therefore, guys often retain trauma in their souls, accumulating painful sensations that do not find a way out and can cause serious illnesses, physical or psychological.

It is typical for girls to release emotions, to “lighten the soul” next to a loved one. Of course, there are exceptions; an opposite, “closed” reaction to injury is possible, the treatment of which should be entrusted to a doctor.

In general, gender influences the tendency to experience to a lesser extent than other factors:

• education, especially instilling a reaction to pain (“men don’t cry”);
• stereotypes of a particular community;
• mental health and so on.

The tendency to suffer and the methods of struggle that everyone chooses are individual for each individual.

How to achieve inner harmony

Effective methods for different temperamental types.

Choleric.

• Learn to control your emotions, especially anger.
• Find a safe way for yourself and others that helps you give vent to your feelings.
• Learn more about relaxation techniques.
• Be in nature more often, try to feel the harmonious atmosphere.
• Do meditation, yoga or any spiritual practice.
• Focus on only one or two tasks and consistently complete them.
• Try to develop flexible self-control, eliminate chaos, and bring order to your affairs.

Phlegmatic person.

• Try to express emotions, not accumulate them in yourself.
• Add more physical activity to your daily routine.
• Learn to accept change and change yourself.
• Open up to loved ones and family, trust them with your experiences.
• Stop being lazy and take care of your body and soul.
• Set clearly described goals for yourself and try to achieve them, overcoming all obstacles.
• Get a cat, or even better, a dog. Taking care of a pet already makes a person active and cheerful.

Sanguine.

• Accustom yourself to perseverance, train attentiveness.
• Conduct an analysis of your life, accept changes that will solve the problem with mental pain.
• Do not suppress natural joyful emotions.
• Listen more often to your rational part - to your mind.
• Accept the fact that negative emotional experiences do not go away quickly, so you will have to be patient.
• Try to comprehend the problem on a large scale, from all sides, taking into account the dangers and complications.
• Try to slightly slow down the pace of life, enjoy the moment here and now.

Melancholic.

• Communicate more often with optimists, cheerful personalities.
• Stop withdrawing into yourself and looking for the cause of problems in your own behavior.
• Look for the positive in everything that happens around you.
• Learn to endure troubles more easily, perceiving them as valuable experience.
• Trust your own intuition - melancholic people have it best developed.
• Love yourself, take care of your feelings, get rid of feelings of guilt or obsession.
• Avoid loneliness, but look for worthwhile people who will rightfully appreciate the good traits of a melancholic person.

Some of these tips can be implemented independently or with the help and support of loved ones. However, for most, it is better to still seek help. This can be provided by a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Short-term mental pain can be extremely useful. It shows which problems are best solved immediately and how to prevent depression or other serious conditions. Inner balance gives joy and inspiration. It also helps to establish a mutually beneficial connection between the people around us, nature and personal interests and goals. Each type of temperament is capable of achieving such harmony. To strive for this means to seek your own path to happiness. And by taking a depression test, you can find out whether mental pain is associated with it.

Three strict prohibitions

Before you begin your own healing, you should remember one important rule: never slide into the abyss of vice. Indeed, during this period the temptation is very great, and, alas, many succumb to it, making more and more attempts to quench their pain with the help of alcohol, nicotine and drugs.

This method not only does not relieve pain, but also increases emotional distress. The feeling of one’s own lack of will complements the already gray picture, pushing one to give up. Having set foot on this path, a person is deprived of the opportunity to reason sensibly, which will certainly lead to defeat.

Therefore, it is worth strictly prohibiting alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. This will not only help you concentrate on finding a solution to the problem, but will also keep you healthy. And, as you know, it is worth its weight in gold. It is much better to get addicted to green tea, it is not only healthy, but can also lift your mood a little.

Simple exercises

But coping with experiences that are far-fetched is a real challenge. Psychologists have developed several techniques for this. Let's look at one of the exercises.

First of all, we need to try to make our mind become our friend, no matter how strange it may sound. After all, it is the mind that provokes us to immediately begin to get rid of internal tension, as a result of which we begin to fight and conflict results.

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So, you need to try as hard as possible to turn off your mind, leave your experience inside yourself, accept it and observe what happens next. It turns out that a person must be left alone with his experience. How to do it?

To begin, close your eyes and allow your body to experience the sensations that are characteristic of it at the moment: anxiety, fear, etc. At the same time, a variety of images can be born in the mind, and the strangest physical sensations can be born in the body: from vibration in the muscles to tachycardia. You need to try to carefully observe all this, not with the help of your brain, but as if without thinking about what is happening.

Be sure to bring this exercise to its logical conclusion - strange images and thoughts should go away, and calmness should appear in their place. Only in this case will there be reason to say that internal experiences can leave you forever. You should not give this state any assessments or try to compare it with anything, you just need to remember this effect of calm, which should be imprinted on your psyche.

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It is also important to understand that different unforeseen situations happen to each of us, which can cause a complex of negative thoughts. Let's take another example of a person who has been in an accident.

Most often, he does not remember any external details; only the experiences, anxiety and fear that he experienced during the accident remain in his head. It is these emotional experiences that provoke us to experience them again and again, even without getting into similar situations. If you do not get rid of these sensations in time, then people will be constantly exposed to them.

Eat, sleep and walk

Due to emotional stress, the body weakens, and as a result, problems become more and more difficult to deal with. Therefore, it is very important not to forget about things like sleep, food and walks in the fresh air.

1. When going to bed, a person is left alone with his problems, which sometimes makes it very difficult to fall asleep. But you need to understand that without night rest the brain does not work well, which will further aggravate the situation. To fall asleep faster, you should use counting rhymes; they help you to distract yourself and relax.
2. Healthy eating. You should not eat stress with anything, otherwise stomach problems will be added to the mental trauma. It is also worth taking care of your daily intake of vitamins and minerals; they will strengthen not only the body, but also the psyche.
3. Walks. Even though in times like these you might want to hide from the world, you shouldn’t do that. Short walks around the area will not only enrich your blood with oxygen, but also help you unwind a little. The main thing is not to delve into yourself, but to try to catch something new in the surrounding landscape.

Make a choice to be cool and not needy, remove expectations.

1. A non-needy person is one who does not cling to other people, is inclined to give more than to receive, and never expects anything from this life! Strive to be one.
2. A person who is not needy does not think about what you will have in the future (even if there is a 99% guarantee, you do not tell others). You can say: “Yes, I have such plans...”. You're going to do it, but you're not living it.
3. You take what you have at the moment, but you never expect anything to happen to you in the future - good or bad. It's useless.
4. The things you may cling to in life can be so ephemeral and destructible.
5. Your reality should not be based on something external!

A person who is not in need does not need both things and people equally! The paradigm is that they are with them, but there is no fear of loss at all!

A person who is not needy never asks questions about how to continue living after a breakup.

A strong person is only glad that weak people themselves leave his life.

It’s harder for a woman to live like this, but it’s possible. No need to cling to people.

Detailed principles of self-confidence for girls are also collected in another section on the site.

Women have a natural need for a man who will protect her, take care of her, they cling to men. This is their problem!

Don't run away from your feelings

We have a habit of running away from pain. And this is not surprising. If you touched a hot stove, what would you do? You would remove your hand, wouldn't you? But, alas, this does not work with emotions.

Instead, imagine that you have an open wound on your arm and you need to pour hydrogen peroxide on it to clean it to avoid infection. It will hurt, but you have to endure it. However, if you ignore it and try to pretend like nothing happened, you will only make things worse. All sorts of germs will get onto the open wound and infection will begin. Your wound will never heal unless you treat it properly and close it.

Emotions work in a similar way. You must have the courage to face the pain and discomfort if you ever hope to cure it or at least manage the process. Just as a wound will heal on its own if it is properly treated, emotional scars will scar and disappear over time.

Let everyone be honest with themselves. It is impossible to guarantee that all forms of emotional pain will go away forever. Some will stay with you and you must learn to manage them

However, no matter what you are going through, with time and proper care and attention, your mental wound will heal, and you will be able to confidently move on.

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Visits to a psychologist

Experts know how to get rid of mental pain. A qualified psychologist will not only help you find the cause of suffering, but will also suggest the most effective ways to solve it. Unfortunately, many people are afraid of such meetings, because, in their opinion, this is a manifestation of weakness, and sometimes even worse - a mental disorder.

But the reality is that a psychologist can really help. And if you make an effort on yourself and turn to him, you can avoid many problems, including the appearance of depression.

But be that as it may, one thing is important - mental pain exists, and we need to fight it. There are many methods for this, but their essence is one - move forward, no matter what happens.

Time of sorrow

The shock and denial of the loss lasts about 48 hours. During the first week, emotional exhaustion is observed (there were funerals, funeral services, meetings, wakes). From 2 to 5 weeks, some people return to everyday activities: work, school, normal life. But those closest to us begin to feel the loss most acutely. They experience melancholy, grief, and anger more acutely. This is a period of acute grief that can drag on for a long time. Mourning lasts from three months to a year; this is a period of helplessness. Some are overtaken by depression, others need additional care

An anniversary is a very important event when the ritual end of mourning takes place. That is, a service, a trip to the cemetery, a memorial

Relatives gather, and the common grief eases the grief of loved ones. This happens if there is no jam. That is, if a person cannot come to terms with the loss, is not able to return to everyday life, he seems to be stuck in his grief, remaining in his grief.

Not all problems can be solved

Sometimes it is impossible to eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, you cannot resurrect a dead person, erase memories of a loved one, become someone else at one moment, and so on. What to do then? How to cope with mental pain?

Answer: no way

It is simply impossible to completely get rid of such pain, no matter how much time passes. The only thing that remains is to learn to live with this feeling, to accept it as part of yourself.

This will help reduce the pain just enough that you can calmly coexist with it.

Although this does not seem like a very happy prospect, it is still the reality. And accepting it means embarking on the path of getting rid of suffering. This is the only way to get the much-desired peace and begin to experience joyful feelings again.

There's nothing worse than unrequited love

Heartache from love is a separate case.
Unlike other troubles, unrequited feelings can hurt greatly. And the more a person strives to get the object of his desire, the stronger the pain digs into his heart. In such cases, it is often said that the person seems to be drying out. This is partly true, because apart from dreams of his beloved, he is not interested in anything. It becomes completely unimportant what is happening around, what people are around and what to do next.

And in order to save its owner from danger, consciousness sends him an alarm signal - pain. In this way, the brain tries to force a person to look around and understand that it is impossible to live like this any longer.

PAIN IS A GIFT FROM ABOVE.

When pain can be freed from its accompanying emotions, it becomes valuable because it leads the soul to growth. Pain in this case is the dying away of the old, that which has already outlived its usefulness, that which is no longer needed. When a grain sprouts, the sprout tends to rise, but the grain itself dies and this is painful. But trying to preserve its integrity is a stop to growth, it’s a dead end. You can fixate on suffering and feel sorry for the “broken” integrity of the grain, or you can, while experiencing the pain of destruction, strive for a new sprout. Pain always accompanies growth, gives us development, leads the soul from the usual swamp to light and purity.

Resentment

A fairly common condition of the human body, when the soul hurts from insults. Injustices in this life lie in wait for us at every corner, and no matter how hard we try, it is impossible to cope with them all. If the feeling of resentment arose as a result of a situation that you can influence, then it is best to act and strive to restore justice. If the situation is obviously a win-win situation, it is better to let it go and forget it as quickly as possible. Resistance will take away much more vitality from you than ignoring what happened. If a feeling of resentment arose after something a loved one said to you, it is better not to eat yourself up about this, but to talk openly with him. A fairly common situation is when a person screws himself up and comes up with the development of the plot in one phrase. A constructive conversation will help you figure out the essence of the problem and understand for yourself, first of all, whether there is a reason to be offended.

Think about other areas of life

Main life areas:

• family;
• Love;
• Job;
• self-realization;
• self-development - spiritual, intellectual, moral, etc.;
• material aspect;
• hobbies, interests;
• health;
• status, significance, popularity in society.

If a problem occurs in one of these areas, we must not forget about the other eight. Perhaps it makes sense to take a break in some area, even let it go with the flow, switch to other options. Then there will be a chance that the problem will disappear on its own along with the emptiness in the soul. Being busy in any field will leave no room for negative thoughts.

These tips will tell you how to cope with mental pain. However, it will be impossible to say goodbye to a difficult inner feeling forever without appropriate efforts. A person who wants to regain his joy can only achieve this by going through changes within himself or in his environment. Any changes require sincere desire and strength, so you will have to try hard for your own happiness. But isn't it worth it?