It is generally accepted that such a human character trait as arrogance is negative. From childhood we are raised to be modest, friendly, and responsive. Despite this, according to social surveys, a large percentage of people believe that it is arrogance that allows you to achieve your life goals. Among other things, there is an opinion that such a character trait contributes to career growth and family happiness. Therefore, many at least once in their lives have thought about the question of how to become bolder. Let's try to figure out whether such a quality really helps a person achieve what they want, and how to develop such a character trait in oneself.
What is "arrogance"?
First, let’s figure out what “arrogance” is. In psychological literature, this concept is synonymous with shamelessness, rudeness, and opposition to generally accepted norms. Note that arrogance has nothing to do with determination and self-confidence. Rather, on the contrary, scientific research has proven that it is with the help of rudeness, insolence, and failure to comply with social rules that a person tries to hide his own helplessness and uncertainty. That is, arrogance is nothing more than a defensive reaction, a “mask.” Will such a character trait really help you achieve your desired goals? Or is it better to develop such qualities as diplomacy, determination, and confidence? Each person independently determines the individual tactics of his behavior. Still wondering how to strengthen your character, how to become bolder? If so, below you can find useful tips on how to do this.
Stop judging others to become more confident in yourself
I know people (and you too) who specifically look for weaknesses and shortcomings, injuries, and attributes that they consider unworthy in others. And since everyone has all of the above, there are always plenty of them.
If we choose a person and purposefully start looking for negative qualities in him, we will collect a whole bunch. Much more than you would find at home.
And then these (you know who) begin to wash the bones of others behind their backs, whispering about other people’s shortcomings.
While studying the topic of self-confidence, I found the answer to the question: why are others so fond of looking for flaws in others ↓
While a person is looking for flaws in others, he does not need to look for them in himself.
Finding faults in others is a strategy in life. This is the perfect way to avoid self-criticism, escape from yourself and be unreal.
If a person does not accept himself as he is, he, with childish pleasure and joy, spends a lot of time looking for shortcomings in others, and at the same time makes efforts to present himself in a more favorable light than he really is. In the eyes of others, he tries to be something he is not.
Also read: What to do when you have no strength and it seems like everything is in vain [survival instructions]
And when the moment comes to make decisions that can change his life, he does not make them because he lacks the courage. And courage comes through self-confidence. And self-confidence through acceptance. But self-acceptance cannot exist when you look for shortcomings in others in order to overshadow your own negative qualities.
Do you know people who constantly criticize others? They will not have an answer to the question “How to quickly become more confident” until they change their attitudes and habits.
I personally know such people. Sometimes I see this in the mirror. But now I want to deal with him. It turns out. Of course he resists. But I'm stubborn.
WHAT TO DO? Try to catch yourself when you start discussing the negative qualities of others. Ask yourself: “Why am I discussing this? What bad things about myself am I trying to hide from myself?” Find that bad thing, accept it, and figure out how to use it for a positive effect.
Arrogance as a way of defense
First of all, you should define a clear line between outright rudeness and arrogance, which allows you to defend your opinion. So, for example, running ahead of the queue, pushing those around you with your elbows - this is a lack of basic education and self-esteem.
Arrogance as a method of defense manifests itself in situations when there is a need to respond to any irritant. In this case, there is a reasonable reason to think about how to become an arrogant person. This personality quality, indeed, sometimes helps to solve a problem situation and achieve the intended goals. For example, a company has a vacant managerial position for which several employees are applying. In such a situation, someone who will be active and proactive in their work, without looking back and without waiting for the actions of competitors, can get the desired position. This behavior can also be called arrogant, despite the absence of outright rudeness towards others.
Signs of an insecure person
- Rapid, cluttered, or slurred speech. You are embarrassed to express your opinion, and if this happens, it is clear that you are uncomfortable. The doubtful intonation in the voice of a shy person makes her interlocutors doubt her words.
- An absent-minded look. You rarely look your interlocutor in the eye, and you are generally uncomfortable when people look at you, you are afraid of eye contact. However, please note that when you look into the eyes of your interlocutor, he has no choice; he also looks into your eyes. If you constantly look away, then a person has more opportunities in the meantime to examine all the shortcomings (imaginary or real) that give you self-doubt.
- Clumsiness. When talking, you don’t know where to put your hands, how best to sit, and the like. Because of your chaotic movements, some objects can often fall, you touch your interlocutor with your hands, or you stumble out of the blue.
- Closedness. Girls who feel insecure most often prefer to lead a secluded lifestyle. If this is your case, then it means that you try to avoid the company of unfamiliar people, and other people’s attention, first of all, does not flatter you, but makes you tense.
- Clothes that are too inconspicuous or provocative. Most often, girls who could use more self-confidence prefer to wear things that do not attract much attention - they do not seek to emphasize sexuality or femininity, for fear of looking ridiculous. In more rare cases, there may be another extreme - a girl puts on provocative things, thereby trying to hide her complexes.
If you notice any of these signs in yourself, then you probably need to reconsider your attitude towards yourself. Doubts that periodically overcome you interfere with a full life. However, the good news is that you can get rid of them!
Does arrogance suit girls?
A modern representative of the fair sex also often thinks about how to become daring and arrogant. After all, it is generally accepted that these are the girls who attract male attention. We hasten to dispel this myth - according to the studies conducted, it was concluded that impudent, boorish, arrogant ladies really attract the stronger sex. But most men still prefer to marry calm, balanced girls, preferring stability and comfort.
Setting goals
Don't know how to become bolder? You need to start by setting goals that you want to achieve. For example, we are talking about career growth. Then it is important to think about in what situations you can show arrogance and perseverance to implement individual tasks, and when it is better to refrain from demonstrating such behavior. Otherwise, a spontaneous, thoughtless expression of such a quality will not only not help you get what you want, but will also create additional obstacles to achieving the goal, in particular, it will reduce the trust of others in this person.
Be tougher
Maybe you are too soft, compliant person. Kindness is a positive quality, but it should not cause harm to its owner. Consider whether you are going against your own goals when you agree to help someone. Healthy selfishness and the ability to say “no” when it is inconvenient for you to satisfy a friend’s request are simply necessary for survival in modern society.
Perhaps the ability to speak up, demand or ask for what you deserve, and put your own interests first is arrogance for you. But if you don’t feel the feedback from those around you and are unhappy with your life, such arrogance will definitely not hurt you. Have self-respect and courage and don't give in to others if you don't want to.
Increased confidence
How to become arrogant and confident at the same time? It is quite difficult to achieve this goal on your own. This is due to the fact that such a personality quality as uncertainty is formed over a long time and depends on a variety of factors. In this situation, a psychologist will help, who, using various research methods, will be able to detect and eliminate factors that reduce a person’s ability to achieve self-realization. Various specialized trainings and webinars will also help increase self-confidence. But the most effective way is to support loved ones.
Playing sports also helps increase self-confidence. Thus, regular training of endurance, perseverance, and determination has a positive effect on a person’s internal state, his beliefs and behavior.
Personal care, clothing
Lack of humiliation does not mean that you can neglect the rules of hygiene and basic care procedures. Appearance always matters. “They greet you by their clothes,” remember?
Agree, when there is dirt under your nails and your hair falls like tow on your face, it’s hard to be confident. And people will not perceive such a woman as a strong person. We won’t buy blue chicken in the store with yellow subcutaneous fat.
Clothes for a confident woman are those in which she feels comfortable and appropriate. A girl may love ripped jeans and oversized sweaters, but she understands that for an interview at a large, reputable company, she would be better off wearing pumps and a formal business suit.
Daring girls, as a rule, attract attention with bright accessories, catchy makeup, and a costume with elements of provocation.
Development of wit and public speaking skills
How to become arrogant, but at the same time not provoke conflict situations with other people? The ability to correctly present your own opinion will help you achieve what you want without making enemies. Undoubtedly, arrogance, expressed in the form of a witty saying, will not only not offend others, but will also increase the popularity of the speaker. Diverse interests, in particular such as reading literature, travel, additional education, hobbies, a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, will help you learn this style of communication.
You don't have to be perfect to be confident
“I will love myself only when I become perfect. I'll only be okay if I change. I'm not good enough yet to deserve praise. First I have to do everything I planned, achieve more, become more disciplined, and then...”
It's good that this is self-deception - lying to yourself. And many people live in this trap. Including me.
All the time I come up with idols, authorities and heroes that I want to be like. I run after them, trying to repeat the results.
In this stream, I forget that I can be the same hero for myself. Only more honest and open.
I don't have to be perfect to accept myself. Self-acceptance doesn't have to be earned. I don't have to be slimmer, prettier, stronger in order to respect and love myself.
All the negativity inside me is a simple psychological program, according to which my idea of the world around me is formed.
When we understand this, there is a chance to quickly rebuild the psyche.
Since our idea of reality is formed by the attitudes that we give ourselves, the reverse process is also possible - attitudes can be changed, and at the same time the idea of reality.
It's a nice exercise. It helps you quickly become more confident. I do it when I feel the need. It's very simple.
The point is to think and determine what words would I like to hear about myself as a child? From friends, parents, brothers and sisters. And then from colleagues, managers, teachers and students.
Many expressions always come to mind. The main thing is to start.
Better yet, do the exercise in writing in a notebook, which you can add to and re-read. It's like a lifeline that you can lean on when you lose self-confidence.
WHAT TO DO? Take a piece of paper or a notepad and write down all the phrases that you would like to hear as a child from your parents, friends, teachers and everyone who was dear to you. From everyone who could influence you and everyone from whom you would like to hear these phrases. It is important that you are calm at this moment and that no one distracts you. Try to create such an environment.
Remember: only when you are confident enough in yourself, when you believe in your own capabilities and strengths, will you feel true joy and be able to truly enjoy life.
No one, not a single person in the whole wide world can live their life the way you can do it.
No one in the world has the same set of genes as you. Not a single individual. Your genes are also unique. So act so that everyone can see you.
Wardrobe change
If you don’t know how to become angrier and bolder, change your wardrobe! A person dressed shabbyly, unkemptly, and at the same time showing manifestations of rudeness to others, emphasizes his own uncertainty, unfulfillment, and complexes. Stylish, and most importantly, clean and neat clothes help you reassess your own capabilities. With a change in appearance, the need to demonstrate negative behavior may also disappear. After all, a confident person is able to enlist the support of others and achieve his goals without thinking about how to become arrogant.
Ability to assert personal boundaries
You should not allow any kind of aggression or disrespect to be shown towards you. You should immediately stop attempts to cross the boundaries beyond which there is personal space.
There is no need to be rude in response to rudeness; you should calmly explain that you will not tolerate such an attitude towards yourself and why.
A self-confident person knows how to refuse, to say “no” if a request contradicts his interests or basic life principles. There is no need to be afraid of seeming like a “bad” girl, only you can decide what actions you are ready to take.
Changing your social circle
As the saying goes, “whoever you get along with, you’ll get the hang of it.” If you’re still thinking about how to become bolder, change your social circle. In this way, you can learn from the experience of your comrades and learn, so to speak, the “subtleties of craftsmanship.” In addition, it will be possible to adequately assess the effectiveness of arrogance in communicating with people and answer the question of whether such behavior really contributes to the achievement of desired goals or, conversely, is a source of various obstacles.
In our article we provided recommendations on how to become bolder. Whether to use them in practice is a purely individual matter. The main thing is not to lose your own dignity and preserve universal moral qualities.
How to defend your interests
A person with an anal vector, by nature calm, thorough, conscientious, straightforward and truthful, the properties of the skin vector often cause irritation, unless, of course, he has undergone training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. For a principled and honest person with an anal vector, the flexibility of the skinner’s position is perceived as unprincipledness, and his ability to establish useful contacts as arrogance.
It is easier for the owner of the anal vector to do it himself than to ask. He is not a natural commander. His life purpose is to protect women and children, as well as transfer knowledge to the younger generation. He is decent - he won’t take an extra penny. For him, quality is more important than price. For him, an old friend is always better than two new ones. And always measure seven times and cut once.
If a person with an anal vector also has a visual vector, then to the above properties are added impressionability, emotional sensitivity, softness, vulnerability, excessive delicacy, even timidity. If in childhood there were emotional traumas in the visual vector, and grievances in the anal vector, then in adulthood contacts with people will, at best, cause caution.
It is contraindicated for a person with an anal-optic ligament to work as a boss if he does not have a cutaneous or urethral vector. He will not be able to refuse anyone, and he himself will worry that he is being used. He will take the work and personal problems of his employees too seriously, will try to do everything himself and in the end will either fail all the work or will not be able to stand it.
