Thousands of girls are interested in how to love their ex-boyfriend again and whether it is possible to learn this. An unclosed gestalt, an anchor, an unfinished action syndrome, an acute habit or a crisis of the present - the desire to renew a completed relationship is denoted by dozens of terms and formulations. Psychotherapy calls the same thing differently depending on the field of study. To understand how to make your ex-boyfriend fall in love with you again, you need to analyze past relationships and think about whether they are worth resurrecting.
Why resurrect the relationship?
A girl who dreams of learning how to make a guy fall in love with her again should familiarize herself with the history of the psychotherapeutic practice of Dr. Satir, a leading specialist in the study of crises in married couples.
Mrs. Blossom went to the doctor. A beautiful and successful girl suffered from a protracted form of depression, gained 10 kg in weight and sincerely did not understand the reasons for internal changes. After working through Mrs. Blossom's unconscious, Dr. Satir established a strong desire to reunite her patient's broken marriage. The fact is that the woman, possessing charisma and love, considered an open relationship an ideal vector for a happy life. Her husband did not share her views and left. Having gone through several lovers, Mrs. Blossom realized that the usual marriage was much more comfortable, and most importantly, more pleasant for her female happiness.
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The story turned out to be very revealing. Partners get divorced for various reasons, but most often the reason is the same - the inability to resolve conflicts and controversial situations. Anger, jealousy, aggression sooner or later recede, and reality shows the desire to return the needlessly destroyed connection.
Action plan
As soon as a woman feels the desire to make a guy fall in love with her again, it’s time to act. Decisiveness is a commendable trait, but not justified. Admitting mistakes and also feeling a strong surge of love is not enough. Only a well-developed plan will help reunite lost contact.
A person in love differs from an indifferent person by the opposite model of behavior. All the words, actions and touches that carried weight in the life of a former lover will not work in his present life. A feeling of joy or nostalgia will not save love, much less bring it back. You can awaken cooled feelings only with the help of cunning techniques and methods of manipulation.
Determining the reasons for the breakup
You can make a man fall in love with you again only by eliminating the original source of disagreement. Imagine the situation: you built a house. A beautiful cottage by the river bank. The facade is attractive, the furniture and appliances represent the latest fashion trends, but there is one catch - the foundation is poor. The piles are too short for the watery soil, there is little cement, and the spring floods have crushed dreams of a functional home. There is no more home. Having recovered, you decided to build it again. Will new furniture and flooring help you? No. Only eliminating the initial problems will make the new home durable and safe.
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It's the same with relationships! If you don’t get rid of problems in the past, you won’t be able to build a happy present.
Ask for help
Remember that there is no shame in asking friends for help. What attracts guys in the first place? Femininity, tenderness and peculiar quirks. Young people like to help their girlfriends. Guys love to catch grateful glances and sighs of admiration. Therefore, do not hesitate to ask your ex to help you, for example, with choosing a new computer, if the guy understands this topic. You can also ask for advice. For example, if you trust your ex-boyfriend's literary taste, ask him to recommend a good book to you. Friendly communication can only be established if you treat the guy as a friend. At the initial stage of renewing a relationship, this is not the worst option.
Collecting information about your lover
Get ready to tune your deduction to the right frequency by remembering all the James Bond films. Observation and conspiracy skills will be required in order to make a man fall in love with you after a breakup.
The truth inherent in spy action films is relevant in the field of love: follow the object and you will get an advantage, study it and you will win. The person you love has changed. Breaking up certainly creates a new personality. To make your ex like you, you need to collect as much information about him as possible:
- Has the man started a new relationship?
- Did he have friends or girlfriends that weren’t there before?
- Has he acquired new hobbies?
- Where does he rest? How do you spend your free time now?
Adviсe
Every girl wants to be desired. This is especially acute during periods of loneliness, after a painful breakup. It is important not to become depressed, to maintain the strength to maintain your own dignity, and to learn how to present it correctly. A few simple tips will help you both maintain a guy’s love for you and reawaken it in him:
- remove negative emotions, groundless accusations and attacks from your life;
- take care of yourself - this applies to both your appearance (especially after you start living together) and the culture of communication;
- pay attention to your partner - men, with all their rigor and independence, cannot live without care and attention;
- maintain passion and zest in feelings - unexpected sexual surprises, new lingerie or a sudden kiss during a joint outing;
- develop your inner world - the fact that a permanent partner has appeared is not a reason to stop reading or visiting a museum, to be an interesting person, it is a reason for your partner to be proud of you.
How to start a conversation and arrange a meeting
The psychologist's advice, aimed at getting the man he loves back after a breakup, recommends that girls be careful and prudent. Giving in to an emotional outburst by sending your ex SMS at night asking you to start over is taboo. Writing to him while drunk, manipulating sexual contact or pressuring him for pity is strictly prohibited. Such behavior will cause disgust, and the remaining feelings will disappear without a trace.
In the struggle to resurrect relationships, sensitivity and caution should be exercised. The first conversation should be calm and neutral. Share interesting news, remember your observations (express sincere congratulations or surprise on an important occasion in his life). Show your participation, but be mindful of your self-esteem.
Common Mistakes
The desire to return to a past relationship pushes the girl to rash actions that aggravate the situation, depriving her of any chance of winning. No matter how painful and offensive it may be, you cannot:
- send endless messages in the middle of the night;
- languishing with melancholy, trying to call around the clock;
- blackmail with health status;
- try to arouse jealousy by starting a relationship in front of your ex-lover;
- publicly insult, create a scene.
Paradoxically, in order to return old feelings, you must learn to restrain your emotions.
What to do next
You can make a man fall in love with you again and renew your relationship only with this step. It will be the simplest and the hardest at the same time. This step is called a wait-and-see attitude. Once the first conversation has taken place and you have met, there is nothing you need to do. Wait a day, a week or even a month.
The next step is his move. Relationships should be built between two partners - this is their common work. You have shown your interest. If the reason for the separation is an intolerable female character, then you need to hint at positive changes in yourself and show them. After this, you need to wait for an SMS, a return invitation or a frank conversation. An interested man will find a way to express himself.
Conclusion
Making a guy fall in love with you again is as difficult as building a relationship from scratch. It is necessary to reconsider your behavior, external and internal qualities. You need to look for the root cause, the root of your disagreements. Usually it lies on the surface, but we try to ignore it and cover it up with secondary problems. It should be remembered that both partners build the future. If love has completely faded away, a man has a new love, there is no need to rush back. First try to dismiss all emotional messages, remove anger, resentment, they are not the best advisers. It’s good if at least a month passes before trying to resurrect old feelings. During this time, it is possible to rethink what has happened, weigh all the good moments, and compare them with the pain caused.
Write in the comments if the advice helped you maintain or renew your relationship? And remember, never despair! Good luck!
Signs that you can get your boyfriend back
A man who has feelings shows them without realizing it. The main ways to understand that love can be saved are as follows:
- He takes the initiative
- Makes contact with ease
- When corresponding, he asks questions in response.
- He is interested in business, finds ways to show participation in the girl’s life: asks to put on a hat, accompanies her home, tries to pay for her dinner.
- Always finds time to talk. Even at night or during a test.
- Expresses readiness to help at any time.
Further actions
As soon as contact is established, and the man’s desire to continue communication is noticeable to the naked eye, you can exhale and begin to restore the relationship.
First of all, remember the reason for the breakup. Who was the initiator? If you are, then for what reason? Out of stupidity? It is necessary to demonstrate awareness and recognition of mistakes.
If he initiated the breakup, then why? Have you had character flaws? Show that you got rid of them, be it greed, hysteria, groundless jealousy or another reason. The girl must show that during the breakup she eliminated the shortcomings. He himself must see the absence of negative qualities during the first walk.
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Engage in self-development
Being friends with an ex-boyfriend is not so difficult, but taking the place of your beloved again will be problematic. Why? Having stepped on a rake once, a person will step on the same rake again without much enthusiasm. Therefore, to prove to the guy that a relationship with you is a win-win option, try to change all the time. This doesn't mean you need to change your appearance. Self-education will help you become an interesting, non-trivial person with whom you want to communicate. You must be able to support absolutely any topic of conversation. And if you don’t know about something, or the topic is not close to you, you should learn to change the flow of the conversation so as to avoid topics unknown to you. Learn, become more interesting, and then people will be drawn to you.
What to change in yourself
If the breakup occurred due to the girl’s fault, you can build further relationships with the help of transformations. The guy has the right to demand change. This speaks of serious intentions and a thorough choice of a life partner. The cause of the gap, whatever it may be, must be eliminated. This is the only way to avoid a painful breakup again and restore harmony and mutual understanding to the couple.
In appearance
Psychotherapists from the Association for the Study of Family Relations have proven that 75% of men are visual learners. It is unpleasant for them to see an unkempt or unkempt girl next to them. They love changes in the appearance of their chosen one, they like to look at new outfits and images. They are attracted by the mystery, and the change in appearance gives the guys an excellent opportunity to quickly begin to solve the mystery. Change your image. A couple of outfits, a new hairstyle and a beautiful manicure will bring sexual attraction into communication.
In habits
Serious relationships require drastic changes. When choosing a life partner for a long time, a man sees in her a potential future mother for his children. The origins of motherhood should represent femininity and a healthy lifestyle. Say goodbye to smoking and alcoholic drinks, try not to use too many curse words in your speech, devote yourself to sports and complement your look with delicate feminine outfits.
Circle of friends
Popular wisdom says: “Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are.” Often the boiling point in the relationship between partners is the girlfriend’s friends. What if liking a friend led to the breakup? Immediately remove her from your social circle.
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What if it's a matter of antipathy? Maybe jealousy of a close friend made the young man leave? Alas, it won’t be possible to leave two. To begin with, you can avoid cutting from the shoulder and reduce the time of communication. Look at the guy's reaction. He must understand that changes are happening for his sake, but remember about his self-esteem. Demand action from your loved one. For example, a guarantee of stability and security for your future.
In character
The stumbling block may be the lifestyle of your beloved girl. Her complexes, weaknesses, self-doubt or, on the contrary, excessive promiscuity and immodesty. In stable and developing relationships, partners must complement each other. Talk about the sincere reasons for his departure. Are there deeper reasons within you? Eliminate them, but ask for the same in return.
It’s not difficult to get the relationship back, the main thing is to build it correctly again. Only confidence, respect and a sense of deep self-worth will help partners function at the level of mutually developing individuals and lead to building a strong family.
Are you together again
Trying to return her beloved, the girl risks making stupid mistakes, causing scandals for him and finding out the reasons for leaving.
When you manage to renew love, do everything so that the man does not regret returning. There will be no second chance to restore feelings. Become the best for your chosen one, try to constantly surprise him with beautiful outfits, delicious dinners, and pleasant conversations. Now the emotional background in the relationship and its duration depends only on you.
Returning to his former lover, the guy took an important step, perhaps overstepping his principles. Such actions should be appreciated and respected if your loved one is truly dear to you.
