“How to find your calling and purpose in life?” is a question that every person asks. According to the age periodization according to K. Jung, the question first arises at the age of 15–16 years. It is during this period that a teenager asks himself: “Who am I?” and “What am I?” Finding purpose is not just about choosing a profession. This is something more: finding yourself, choosing your destiny and creating your own happiness.
It is worth noting that the concepts of “vocation” and “destination” are somewhat different, but closely related. Finding a vocation is finding a job that best suits your inclinations and inclinations. The search for purpose is the search for purpose and meaning in life. The second, as a rule, follows from the first. That is, first you need to decide on a profession, but when choosing, you need to focus not only on your abilities, interests and capabilities, but also on your values and beliefs. Let's take a closer look at how to find out your purpose and calling in life, how to find yourself and your favorite job.
How to help yourself find your purpose in life
What do you think is the most important thing in finding purpose?
Find out what interests you. Ask yourself what you would be willing to do, even for free, or what you would continue/do if you no longer had to work. It is in this area that you need to find your way. Start by looking at what you can do right now to get closer to it and what can help you turn it into income. How easy is it to find your calling and a job you like? There is a golden formula for finding a calling: I can + I want + I need. I can – these are your abilities, skills, abilities and knowledge (including potential). I want - these are your interests, that is, inclinations. It is necessary - this is what is in demand in the professional market right now. Moreover, you can analyze both the all-Russian or international market, as well as the market in a specific region or city. This again depends on your abilities and capabilities, for example, your willingness to move somewhere.
If the first two elements are more or less stable and are inherent in us from birth, then the last element is dynamic. Some professions are losing their relevance, while others are gaining popularity, and new types of employment are appearing. I can’t help but note the growing number of Internet professions and the opportunity to work remotely. All this is also important to take into account. In fact, modern people are in no way limited geographically in choosing a profession and finding a job. The restrictions apply only to manual and physical labor.
How can you help yourself understand these components? Make several lists:
- in-demand professions (study the market that suits you best);
- what is interesting to you, including what was interesting once in your childhood, teenage years or youth (write down everything that comes to mind, even what seems crazy);
- what you hate or what is not interesting to you is not clear (for example, my brain works exclusively in the humanitarian direction - there is no other option, which means that all sorts of “chemists” and “physics” will be included in this list).
There is another interesting approach to finding vocation and purpose. A person feels fulfilled and his life meaningful only when it has three key criteria: competence (self-confidence as a professional), autonomy (independence and freedom in choosing work tasks, workplace, etc.) and involvement (unity with a certain group of people).
What else is important to understand? That any path requires effort, including the path of vocation. Many people are sure that the path by vocation is something natural and easy. That it happens naturally. Therefore, at the slightest difficulty, they give up one thing and grab onto another. As a result, they cannot achieve success and happiness in life.
As we have already noted, vocation and purpose are somewhat different, and it is better that the second is connected with the first. Why? Because this is how you maximize your potential and protect yourself from burnout, without being scattered on something less significant and useful for you. However, this is not necessary. Many people work for money, and in their free time they do something else, for example, running a mini-shelter for animals or helping sick children.
Interesting! According to K. Dweck's theory, there is no purpose. The psychologist believes that it is better to abandon the fixed mindset and stick to the development mindset. Then you will understand that it can be difficult in any field. Even if you find something that best suits your abilities, you will face difficulties.
You are following a dream
If you like accounting, work for a firm that offers financial reporting services. Do you like the law? Look for a job in the legislature. If you are an engineer, build! Do you like finance? Get a job at a bank or investment fund. If you take advantage of every opportunity to work in a field that you love, you will be successful professionally.
Reasons why it is difficult to find your purpose
Some parents, without knowing it, suppress their child's potential. For example, they themselves choose a child’s hobby, and in the future, a profession. Or they force you to stop “being foolish” and choose a “normal” job. Let's consider the most popular barriers in the search for calling and purpose.
No understanding of your abilities
Not all parents and teachers have enough knowledge, skills or desire to help their child realize his abilities. Someone imposes their interests, for example, trying to make a musician out of a child, since the mother failed to become one. Someone runs after fashion, for example, sends their child to learn a popular dance style. Some people are not interested in the child at all. So a person grows up who does not know his abilities.
How to understand what you are capable of and what is completely not yours? For example, study the 8 types of intelligence and determine those that are most present in you. Did you even know that in addition to IQ, there are also bodily-kinesthetic, visual-spatial, logical-mathematical, musical, linguistic, existential, interpersonal and naturalistic intelligence?
Made the decision for you
Authoritarianism and overprotection lead to one thing - childishness of the child. In the first case, he is strictly told what to do. In the second case, everything is unobtrusively decided for him. Although both there and there there is total control and an abundance of prohibitions. The child grows up and still expects someone else to tell him what to do.
Required good grades in all subjects
Our education system is far from perfect. In short, there are two things that parents should pay attention to: you cannot evaluate a child by grades and you cannot demand A's in all subjects.
The mark does not reflect the student’s true knowledge and does not in any way help the development of abilities. You can get a good grade by cramming, cheating, or other tricks. But there will be no benefit from this.
It's impossible to be the best at everything. It is much wiser and more useful to identify as early as possible what subjects the child is interested in, what he has abilities for, and focus on this. It is better to send your child to a school with a special focus or to one where you can choose subjects. However, not all parents have this opportunity. In this case, you need to at least talk to the child yourself and convey to him that the content of the study is more important, not the result. In those subjects that the student clearly does not need, C grades are enough to issue a certificate.
Did your parents insist on a profession that you don’t like?
Some parents try to live their lives again through their child or force the child to continue the family business. And some choose what, in their opinion, is profitable and in the future will be able to provide a decent standard of living not only for the child, but also for them. One way or another, all this leads to the fact that even during training the child develops an aversion to what he is doing, and at the same time the joy in life disappears.
No conditions for developing talents
In psychology, there is still no single answer to the question of what comes first: a person’s inclinations and talent or the conditions of upbringing. Some experts believe that talent will make its way everywhere. Other psychologists are confident that unfavorable conditions for a child’s development can ruin any talent.
Indeed, it happens that parents do not have the financial or physical opportunity to send their child to the circle that interests him. Or in the place where the child lives there is no opportunity to do what he likes. It also happens that parents simply do not pay attention to their child, even at home they do not want to do anything to develop his abilities.
In this case, it is impossible to say unambiguously how the future of this person will turn out. Some people manage to return to something in adulthood for which there were no conditions in childhood. And someone becomes an unhappy person with untapped talent and a hated job.
How will your life change once your purpose is found?
How can you determine that your calling and purpose in life have been found? You will feel that the level of anxiety has decreased, psychosomatic diseases have disappeared, sleep has improved, harmony has appeared within and in relationships with the outside world, fears have disappeared, especially fear of the future.
What else happens when you find your calling? Mondays will no longer be hated, there will be no “suffering from bell to bell” attitude, getting up in the morning will be easier, etc. You will begin to live and breathe deeply, all areas of life will automatically improve and improve.
Note! Some people believe that you can find and discover your purpose in life using astrology or numerology. I don't believe in it and I don't specialize in it. Therefore, in the article we will not cover this side of the issue - we will only analyze psychology and determine its relationship to this problem.
Steps to finding yourself and your purpose in life
Let's look at 5 steps to find yourself and your purpose in life.
Listen to your soul
Choose a time and place, retire, turn off communications. Imagine or draw, write down, speak your future. Give free rein to your imagination. What are these images? Find among them what your soul desires.
Turn on your mind
Think about how you can make what you envisioned into reality. We will talk about this more in the section “Tips for finding a calling at work.”
Create Awareness
Awareness is living here and now, experiencing as much as possible what you want to do. A calling is something that gives pleasure at the level of thoughts, feelings and body.
Get into the right state
Prepare yourself to solve problems. Convince yourself that you can handle difficulties if they arise. But the main thing is to convince yourself that you need to solve problems as they arise.
Take action
Make a step-by-step plan to make your dreams come true. For example, if you understand that you lack knowledge of the English language, then you can sign up for courses right now. Many people justify their inaction by saying they don’t have time or money. In fact, this means one thing - there is no desire. Start with free video lessons, lectures, or reading articles and books.
Free up your time by eliminating unnecessary scrolling through social networks and watching TV too often. Or start getting up earlier and going to bed a little later. Set aside at least half an hour or an hour a day for your dream, and within a month the result will appear.
Tips for finding your calling at work
How to find your calling in the profession? What is this anyway? This is the highest readiness for a specific job. What does it depend on? From natural inclinations, characteristics of temperament and body constitution.
There are four degrees of professional compliance:
- unsuitable - your characteristics do not correspond to a specific profession;
- suitable - you can do work according to algorithms and templates, but this is unlikely to bring satisfaction and happiness;
- capable - psychological characteristics correspond to a specific profession, if you wish, you can become a successful specialist and do your job with pleasure;
- vocation - every part of the psyche, body, soul corresponds to a specific profession (you can become the most talented and even brilliant person in this field).
How can you determine what is right for you and what is not? Take a vocational determination test, for example, use the method of E.A. Klimova. It helps to determine the area of search for a vocation: man-nature, man-technology, man-person, man-sign system, man-artistic image. Additionally, take auxiliary tests to determine abilities and interests, for example, “Determination of Professional Inclinations” by L. Yovaisha.
In addition, watch yourself and think about what you are reaching for. However, it is more complicated. The conditions of a person’s upbringing and development are not always conducive to unlocking his potential, so many people do not even understand what they are capable of and what is interesting to them. In this case, consult a psychologist. One consultation is enough to outline a movement plan.
Find your strengths
It is difficult for people to engage in activities that, on a subconscious level, cause them unpleasant feelings or associations. It is unlikely that the work of a surgeon will bring satisfaction if a person is afraid of blood.
Doctor of Psychology, writer Ilona Boniwell in the book “Keys to Well-Being. What Positive Psychology Can Do” explains that successful people, when choosing a profession, are guided by their strengths, and keep their weaknesses under control. The author suggests studying human qualities and choosing those about which you can say: “This is mine! I strive to use this quality often, and when I do, I get excited.”
Having realized your strengths, study the professions that exist today and choose the one that matches them. Barbara Sher in the book “Your Dream Job. How to make money doing what you love” describes in detail a huge number of professions. For each of them, she defines the scope of responsibilities, advantages, the concept of specialty and provides recommendations for starting activities in each profession.
How to choose a calling in life: Pixabay
Choose from the list of activities that interest you, read the description and find out whether your strengths correspond to the qualities required for this specialty, and whether your own weaknesses will prevent you from achieving professional success.
My experience of finding my purpose in life
I am a psychologist-copywriter. From the 8th grade of secondary school (if not earlier), I knew that later I would go to study as a psychologist. As I now understand, my choice was dictated by a not very happy childhood, a desire to understand myself, my parents and my whole life. Before studying and during the first years of university, the only person I wanted to help was myself. This stage can hardly be called a search for a calling, but it was part of it.
I would like to note that psychology interests me in all its forms. I can't even watch a movie in peace. Firstly, I love something “tricky”, and secondly, I constantly study heroes. So I still didn’t make a mistake with my profession, no matter what dictated my choice.
Almost immediately after graduating from university, I realized that working with people directly was difficult for me. Firstly, due to temperament, it is difficult to communicate a lot and be in company. Secondly, due to developed empathy, it is difficult to sort out other people’s problems - I burn out.
For some time I was completely confused and didn’t know what to do. What happened: I love psychology and want to do it, but I don’t want to contact people (no matter how strange it may sound). And I also wanted to work from home. The idea came up to look for work on the Internet. I tried all sorts of ways to make money, including copywriting (rewriting). At the beginning of my journey, I had to write on different topics, which I clearly didn’t like. Later, I was able to allow myself to choose and look for projects only in psychology or close to it.
What do I end up with? In my opinion, writing expert articles (for example, articles on how to find your purpose) is also helping people, but less energy-consuming for me. Although even in this work there are topics that are difficult emotionally, but not as difficult as direct interaction with people. And despite the difficulties, fatigue and so on, what I do brings pleasure and money. Everything the doctor ordered.
How to understand that it's time to look for a calling
We often live with the feeling that we need to change something, but we don’t dare, we put off changes until later: until next year, when we receive a bonus, or when our children come of age. Then we decide that looking for a calling at 30 (40, 50, 60, 70) is stupid, embarrassing or too late. But that's not true.
Career consultant, talent development specialist, author of the book “Never Ever. How to get out of a dead end and find yourself” Elena Rezanova calls this approach life in “draft mode” - when a person goes with the flow, not realizing his abilities, wasting time and energy. Rezanova identifies three stages of awareness of the need for change.
First stage. Periodically, a vague dissatisfaction with life appears and the question: “Is this really how my whole life will go?”
Second stage. The dream of a new life takes on contours, images of the desired life appear: your own cozy coffee shop, an office with oak furniture, in which it is so convenient to work.
Third stage. Acute rejection of current life, aversion to work and routine.
Any of these stages can drag on for a long time. But only we decide when we need to stop living in “draft mode” and move into “action mode.”
