I'm afraid of girls: how to overcome fear

Paralyzing fear, coming from somewhere inside and always manifesting itself at the wrong time, breaks the plans created. It would seem that you have found the one you were looking for, here she is standing right in front of you, but uncertainty in words and timidity in the body ruin any chance of achieving female attention.

Fear of meeting a girl is a common disease, characteristic of any age category, and what is most dangerous is that if the main cause of its occurrence is not identified, then there is a very high probability that it will persist for life.

We will analyze the main reasons for the emergence and manifestation of “fear of approach” in order to save you from this illness and give you free communication in any situation!

Types of fear

A guy can fall into a stupor when he sees a girl

Panic. The guy experiences a strong fear of future communication with the girl who interests him. The only way to save a man from the life of a bachelor is to meet a girl who will start communicating with him and take the first step.
Cyclicality. It is typical that a guy will regularly refuse to communicate with an attractive girl. It's all due to the fear of being rejected or ridiculed.
Numbness. Such a young man is literally driven into a stupor at the sight of a girl. There is no fear as such, but the ability to speak is completely lost. Young ladies will pass by such a guy, because they are attracted to talkative, confident young men.
Demonstrativeness. The presence of complexes does not allow a guy to establish a normal relationship with a girl. At the same time, when communicating with such a person, you can hear phrases like “who needs these girls”, “it’s not interesting to be with them.” In fact, these are simply attempts to show oneself in the role of a macho, to hide true fears.
Hermitage. In this case, we are talking about an obsession. The guy completely withdraws and cannot create a relationship with the girl.

The fight or flight response

The body's fight-or-flight response is partly to blame for this stupor.

This mainly happens during times of great danger.

Hormones are released to increase heart rate, adrenaline levels, and alertness to a dangerous situation.

This will prepare the body to either fight or flee a potential threat.

A very useful function of our body.

Unfortunately, this protective mechanism is also activated in relatively safe situations if we are not familiar with them.

Examples here include public speaking, networking events, and meeting beautiful women.

If we are not sure that what is happening is completely safe, our body prepares for the worst-case scenario.

This is usually not very useful because it does not allow you to relax.

Beautiful sexy girls are always a lottery. They may love you, they may hate you.

They may have a strong, aggressive husband who wants to rip your head off.

It's this uncertainty that causes heavy breathing, a racing heart, and a foggy brain—and, as a result, makes it much more difficult to start conversations with beautiful women.

What exactly scares you most often?

A guy may be afraid to even approach a girl

“I’m afraid to approach a girl.” It is important to realize that the presence of this fear will not allow you to create a relationship. The guy must fight his phobia; the young lady is unlikely to take the first step.
"I'm afraid to speak." More often, such fear arises among shy guys who do not have sufficient experience in communicating with girls. To make it easier to cope with fear, you need to become more versatile or find out in advance the topics that interest a certain young lady, study, prepare for a conversation and start communicating.
“What will others think?” It's time to understand that the people around you are busy with their thoughts, their problems and worries.
"Fear of being rejected." The young man must realize that the girl has the right not to reciprocate. Those we like don’t always reciprocate. Naturally, a girl may refuse to communicate, especially if she herself is afraid of men. The guy should take this easier and remember that a negative answer is better than no answer at all. Moreover, there is a percentage chance that the girl will still show mutual interest.

Find new friends

A great way to get rid of shyness is to do what you love with like-minded people. If you have a hobby, then try to find a club where people like you gather.

The more often you communicate with people, the better you can develop your dating skill.

If you and people you still don’t know are passionate about a common idea, then finding a topic for conversation and taking the first step will be quite easy.

Of course, it is not at all necessary to look for a girl in a club of similar interests. Think of this pastime as developing your social communication skills. The more friends you have, the harder it will be to remain shy and closed. At some point you will understand that communication is a joy for you, not a punishment.

Causes of fear

In the past, there may have been an inadequate relationship with a girl, which is why a fear of communicating with female representatives has developed

If the phrase “I’m afraid of girls” is familiar to you, then you’ve probably encountered one of the factors below.

Fear that the girl will refuse. Then men's pride will be hurt.
Problems with diction can also cause fear of communicating with the fair sex; in particular, a guy is afraid that he will be ridiculed.
Fear of communicating with people, social phobia.
Low social status. A young man may be put off by meeting a beautiful girl if she is better off. He is not able to shower her with appropriate gifts.
Physical disabilities. These may be real problems, and in such a situation it is necessary to urgently consult with a psychologist, otherwise it is possible that the guy will begin to think about suicide. If there are far-fetched shortcomings, then you just need to rethink your life, analyze yourself, come to the realization that everything is in order, there is nothing to be afraid of.
Severe shyness. Some guys are simply embarrassed to be the first to talk to girls, they may begin to blush, stutter, or are completely unable to utter a word when they are next to a young lady.
Negative past experiences. The phobia occurs against the background of an unsuccessful attempt to establish a relationship or communication.
The guy's inability to voice his thoughts. The young man is afraid to start communicating because he knows that he will not be able to become a normal interlocutor.

Exercises

Thus, we are prepared in advance for defeat, and our brain understands that even if we make an unsuccessful or completely disastrous approach, we will not die, but will simply experience a certain, not very pleasant, but not fatal state. For the exercise to be effective, these points need to be spelled out as clearly as possible.

How to overcome fear

You can start communicating with girls based on common interests, without focusing on the fact that they are representatives of a different gender

Fear always arises before something unknown and new. This is a completely normal reaction of the human body. All people at some point in their lives have encountered some kind of fear, for example, the fear of donating blood from a finger prick. However, under the compulsion of their parents, they went and did it. Over time, fear was no longer felt so acutely.
Work on improving your appearance. This will help improve your self-esteem. Particular attention should be paid to cleanliness and neatness, and the correct choice of clothing.
Broaden your horizons. For this purpose, you can watch quality films or read fiction. This will make it much easier for you to start a conversation with a beautiful person.
Learn to joke, show your sense of humor. This will help defuse a frightening situation.
Workout. Having improved your body, you will not be afraid to talk to a girl with a model appearance.
Experts often advise looking your fears in the eye. A man can try to go ahead, and it will be a big challenge for himself to approach a girl who has a model appearance. And it doesn’t matter that at this moment your legs will tremble, your heart will jump out of your chest. You can even start a conversation with her by saying how scary it was to approach such an unearthly beauty. This way you will be able to realize that your fear was not seriously justified. All guys go through this. There's nothing wrong with talking to a girl; she won't bite.

Self confidence

Auto-training has a great influence on increasing self-esteem

If the phrase “I’m afraid of beautiful girls” is very familiar to you, then the best way to overcome this phobia will be to work on yourself and increase your self-esteem.

Take up auto training. Every day in front of the mirror, tell yourself that you are the smartest, most beautiful and attractive.
Appearance. It is important to make sure that your hair is well-groomed, your nails are cut, your face is clean, your hair is washed, that is, the guy must be well-groomed and have a pleasant aroma coming from him.
Special attention should be paid to the choice of clothes and shoes. The beautiful half of humanity will pay attention to a well-chosen image, and the guy’s self-esteem will significantly increase.
Start visiting the gym regularly and playing sports. Over time, you will see how your body changes for the better. This will definitely give you more confidence.

All girls are different

Many guys who say “I'm afraid of girls” have internal problems associated with negative experiences with the opposite sex. Having received one refusal, the guy withdraws into himself and is afraid to make new attempts. A young man needs to understand that all girls are different. Just because one lady criticized you doesn't mean another will do the same. Don't be afraid of negativity from girls. All ladies perceive guys differently. Some girls refuse to date young men for the reason that they are afraid of disappointing the person. Don't think that the lady didn't like you. Work on your inhibitions. A guy who constantly tells himself “I'm afraid of girls” is subconsciously setting himself up for failure. Negative experiences are also needed. It helps you learn from your mistakes and not make them in the future.

Adviсe

You can seek advice from a friend who is very popular with girls

Learn body language. Knowing him, you can easily understand whether the chosen girl has any feelings. If you are convinced of the response, there is nothing to be afraid of, you can act.
When looking at a girl, you don’t need to look at her devouringly, or focus on individual parts of the body. The look should be, as it were, overview. If a girl looks straight into her eyes, don't look away.
You can turn to a friend for help, namely one who easily starts relationships with girls. You can either ask him for advice, or simply observe his behavior.
If you see an attractive girl nearby, try to approach her. No matter how scary it may be, do not allow yourself to turn back at the last second. Before you approach, you need to mentally imagine how you have already done this, understand that there is nothing wrong with this.

If a guy is afraid of a girl, he must understand that the time has come to overcome this fear. There is still a whole life ahead and you need to start a family and have children. If a young person is afraid of being rejected after having a bad experience, you need to understand that this happens to everyone. Having a negative experience teaches us, points out mistakes we have made, and gives us the opportunity to improve next time and behave differently.

Symptoms of a phobia

There are many different symptoms of this disorder. Typically they vary from person to person. They are divided into two categories: psychological and physical.

As for psychological symptoms, some people are afraid of any attachment and run away from it. At the same time, convincing myself: I am afraid of relationships and any manifestation of romance.

Others may enter into an alliance, but they end up becoming possessive or jealous.

Psychological symptoms also include:

feeling powerless and confused in your emotions and personal life;
severe anxiety and nervousness;
maximum suppression of internal experiences;
completely avoiding places where couples meet, such as parks and movie theaters;
avoidance of marriage and other wedding ceremonies;
isolation from the outside world.

Physical signs of the disorder include trembling, rapid heartbeat, fainting, chest pain, sweating, numbness, breathing problems, and nausea.

Panic and anxiety attacks are also common. The patient suffers from frequent dizziness, a desire to run away from everyone and cry for no reason.

Increase your self-esteem

The first thing any shy person should do is improve their self-esteem. The guy must love himself. You need to convey to your consciousness the idea that every person is unique. And you are no exception. And you can correctly present your uniqueness. Don't be shy about flaunting your strengths and hiding your unattractive sides. The guy must understand that he is an interesting person who can support any topic. If this is not the case, then pay attention to your shortcomings. Is your intelligence suffering? Read more. If you are in poor physical shape, take care of your body. You should be attractive primarily not to the opposite sex, but to yourself.

What girls are guys afraid of? Popular girls seem to be the most dangerous to them. Have you ever wondered what makes popular people so attractive? Girls who enjoy increased male attention are not always gifted with beauty. Rather, ladies are characterized by charisma, which girls know how to use correctly. So why don't you develop the ability to be charming? Ladies love with their ears, not their eyes, remember this.

Treatment options

People with kainophobia are advised to undergo therapy with a psychologist. It will help you understand the underlying reasons for your behavior.

Attention is paid to the period of childhood and relationships with parents. All this is a slow process, but working through these points allows us to find cause-and-effect relationships in the state

During therapy, a psychologist may suggest artificially simulating the situation of meeting a new person. The patient describes his feelings at this moment, options for behavior. A specialist helps to correct some actions. This approach allows a person to create a certain set of behavior patterns and reactions.

Hypnotherapy takes a slightly different approach. The psychologist puts the client into a trance state, which releases the unconscious level of the psyche. This allows you to determine the cause of fear. At the next stage, the client is forced to relive the traumatic situation, identify his feelings at that moment and live them.

But the event that occurred is assessed from the perspective of an adult, and this provides certain advantages. The situation is assessed more critically, and negative emotions do not accumulate. The client understands that there is no need to be afraid of dating. With the help of a psychologist, he develops a number of communication skills.

Constructive hashtag

“We are losing the fight for the law on domestic violence,” millionaire blogger Alexandra Mitroshina wrote on Instagram the day before. At the end of July, she launched the “I Didn’t Want to Die” flash mob in support of the legislative initiative. At the same time, a petition was published, which to date has been signed by more than 820 thousand people.

There are about 16.5 thousand posts under the hashtag #Ididn’twanttodie on Instagram. Bloggers and ordinary users took pictures with makeup simulating signs of beatings. The posts also included personal stories of violence from fathers, husbands and partners.

“Do you know that every fifth (!) woman/girl/girl is subjected to physical violence in Russia, the statistics increase every year,” this is an excerpt from a post by one of the bloggers who supported the action. Critics of the law against domestic violence, primarily in the person of the organization Parental All-Russian Resistance (RVS), have latched on to the statistics.

Photo: instagram.com/alexandramitroshina

Blogger Alexandra Mitroshina, who launched the flash mob “I didn’t want to die”

The petition cites the figure that 16 million women are subjected to violence every year, which has angered activists who believe the problem of domestic violence is miniscule. A lawyer specializing in protecting victims of domestic violence, one of the organizers of the action, Alena Popova, explained to Izvestia that this figure was calculated based on data from the report “Reproductive Health of the Population of Russia 2011”, prepared by Rosstat with the support of the United Nations Population Fund, as well as the Department of Reproductive Health Health Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Author of the quote

According to them, 18% of women suffer from verbal violence, 6% from physical violence, and 1% from sexual violence (a total of 25%). Based on the calculation that in 2021 there were 65.8 million women aged 16 and older, the output figure is 16.45 million women.

There are no current statistics on domestic violence in Russia, activists themselves admit. One of the reasons is that women are afraid, and sometimes due to economic reasons, cannot complain about beating by their partners. In addition, allegations of beatings often remain without due attention from law enforcement agencies.

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About the benefits of optimism

One of the decisive factors that determines the positive outcome of the intended acquaintance is your positive attitude.

Conduct an internal dialogue with yourself more often, setting yourself up for positivity.

Positive thinking and reasoning in an optimistic manner increases your self-esteem, and at the same time confidence.

Photo 3. You need to believe in your ability to please girls no matter what

In the end, there is a simple truth: if a person is often told how capable and talented he is, then there is no room for doubt in his mind, and he begins to believe it.

Answer yourself a number of questions and decide:

do you want to meet more girls for one night stands?
do you need a girlfriend to chat with?
Are you looking for your one and only for life?
In the end, is it a temporary or serious relationship?

Then, make it a habit to do the following as often as possible.

Before going to bed or at any other convenient moments, closing your eyes, reproduce in your imagination scenes of how you successfully meet different girls, and they respond to you with mutual sympathy, how you look, what mood you get to know, how completely calm you are at the same time .

But be careful with your ideas and thoughts, for they have the ability to materialize.