How to change the beliefs in the subconscious that prevent us from getting what we want

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Beliefs are internal dogmas that guide our consciousness and actions. For most people, life is subject to strict moral principles that shackle their inner “I” into certain frameworks, preventing them from feeling happy and free. We know in advance what will be right and what will not, what we can do and what is prohibited for us. The most popular area of ​​modern psychology is neurolinguistic programming. It is aimed at changing human consciousness.

Briefly about NLP

This teaching combines the best practices and developments of psychology, psychotherapy and linguistic programming. NLP is focused on teaching a person practical techniques that will improve his life, changing it radically. NLP beliefs will help you begin to evaluate the world without focusing on destructive attitudes. After such therapy a person:

• discovers hidden internal reserves;
• becomes successful in business;
• easily achieves goals;
• finds an approach to people;
• improves personal life.

Let's take a closer look at what neurolinguistic programming is and how, with the help of special techniques, you can change old and destructive beliefs to new attitudes that will lead to success.

What is the subconscious mind set?

Installation is always a connection. This is the “If... then...” formula. These are two objects that have connected with each other in our subconscious.

Moreover, for us this is always a fact of reality . A fact of OUR reality. For other people, this formula may NOT work.

Let's use an example.

One girl, whose business began to “sag,” worked as an emergency nurse in the early 90s.

And very often she went on call to “firearms” after gang violence. Often fatal. And gradually a mindset appeared in her mind:

“If I have a lot of money, they could kill me because of it”.

And as soon as her business began to go uphill and her income increased, then everything immediately began to collapse - either the partner would “throw away”, or the suppliers would let them down...

And the girl again returned to the “safe zone” - to her previous income without a threat to life. She really wanted “big money”, but her caring subconscious once again “saved” her life.

After working through this setup, after breaking the connection “big money = danger to life,” her business took off rapidly, her income soared several times (!) - for no apparent reason.

It doesn't matter what kind of installation we have. The important thing is that we believe in it absolutely, 100%. That is why it “triggers” and ruins our lives.

But after we break this “if-then” connection in our mind, then “magic” will appear in our life. Our goals will begin to be achieved, and our dreams will become reality. Moreover, without “strain” and enormous volitional efforts.

From the history of NLP

Neurolinguistic programming was first studied in America in the late 80s of the last century. A group of doctors combined several common psychological techniques aimed at influencing and working with the patient’s subconscious, thereby making a revolutionary discovery. The scientific achievements of such famous psychotherapists as Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir, and linguists John Grinder and Richard Bandler were used.

History of NLP development

NLP is based on the teachings of Milton Erickson, who believed that a person reliably stores all the knowledge and skills accumulated throughout life in his subconscious. Knowing how to use this information correctly, you can easily achieve success and solve any problem. Milton Erickson suggested using memories and feelings to influence your consciousness, thereby causing the desired changes. According to this principle, recovery from serious bodily illnesses occurs when a person not only dreams of being healthy, but, using memories, forces himself to experience these feelings until the body really begins to recover.

Neurolinguistic programming prohibits the use of such a concept as “correct personality” in psychotherapy.

Insisting that no matter how a person behaved in a certain situation, it was the best possible outcome. One model of behavior cannot be considered correct and another is not. There is simply a set of reactions that a person applies in one or another life situation. The main task of neurolinguistic programming is to help choose the most effective model in a particular case.

The essence of NLP

Since NLP is based on hypnosis and Gestalt therapy, by mastering this knowledge you can learn to influence other people.

Neurolinguistic programming techniques are successfully used in acting, public speaking and business management. The fundamentals of NLP have become widely used in advertising, marketing, public communications, politics, journalism and even military affairs.

You can master the techniques of neurolinguistic programming on your own, but it is better to do this with the help of a specialist during a personal consultation or group therapy.

The essence of the technique

Neurolinguistic programming is psychological techniques that help a person succeed in any field. Accustomed to living in accordance with the rules and norms instilled in early childhood, we very rarely use our inner potential to the fullest, which affects the quality of life. A person gets used to working in a job he hates and living with an unloved partner, because he believes that he is unworthy of the best, thereby destroying himself and his life.

Neurolinguistic programming influences a person’s subconscious, changing his internal beliefs, helping him become successful and change the surrounding reality. With the help of NLP techniques, people easily recover from incurable diseases, build a successful career, become famous and financially independent.

NLP Core Beliefs

Before we talk about NLP methods, it is necessary to understand what this concept means. The term consists of three words. Neuro - human actions are controlled by the brain. Neurons reliably store all our feelings, emotions and experiences. Linguistic is a method of communication through which information is transmitted. Programming is a process that activates mental activity. In the depths of consciousness, a person has certain stereotypes and attitudes about how to behave in a given life situation, embedded from childhood.

Neuro-linguistic programming specialists use terms such as map, mind and body.

• Map – denotes the basic techniques and methods of NLP, which comprehensively study human psychology (state of mind, motives for actions, underlying attitudes).
• Consciousness and body are a single concept. Just as the body is controlled by our consciousness, the thought process cannot be imagined without physical activity. All nuances are taken into account: not only a person’s experiences and feelings, but also physical ailments. This is done in order to correctly choose the method of NLP influence (visual, auditory, kinetic).

Neurolinguistic programming capabilities

NLP teaches a person to evaluate himself, his skills and knowledge in a new way, and to perceive the people around him in a completely different way. Neurolinguistic programming techniques cause the following changes in a person’s life:

• improve communication;
• facilitate communication;
• instill new beliefs;
• help you understand yourself and decide on your life goals;
• reveal internal needs;
• relieve old grievances, fears and phobias.

Emotions on which NLP works

Thanks to the use of NLP, a person gains confidence, determination and courage, understands how to achieve what he wants and does not limit himself in achieving his goals. However, for this you constantly need to work on yourself, analyzing and identifying your negative attitudes, getting rid of destructive beliefs.

NLP rules

The first rule of NLP states that a person himself chooses who he wants to be in life. Guided by internal aspirations and beliefs, we decide for ourselves what we are worthy of and what we can achieve, so some become leaders by believing in themselves, while others fail.

The second rule is that when we highlight certain qualities in another person, we want to see them in ourselves. We have had them for a long time, but they are not properly developed, so we do not know how to manifest them. The third and main rule of NLP is that everything in the world flows and changes, and so does man. There is nothing wrong with developing and changing your beliefs, abandoning ingrained principles that interfere with your life.

And the last rule is that all experienced feelings, emotions, fears and impressions are securely stored in a person’s subconscious. NLP techniques will tell you how you can use these reserves to achieve your goals and improve your life.

Why work with beliefs?

You can take it as a metaphor that our subconscious is a garden that requires attention. And if you don’t take care of the garden, it will become overgrown with weeds and parasitic plants. You need to regularly weed your garden, monitor new plantings, and take care of them.

Our subconscious also requires care. It is necessary to identify outdated, unnecessary beliefs that are held at conscious and unconscious levels and replace them with new ones that are supportive.

In this way we create groups of new nerve cells, and the receptors of the cells in the body change. As a result, we can feel the changes almost instantly.

Every belief we have serves us. We created each one in order to live safely and happily. But it is important to remember that we can consciously choose what to believe.

Methods for changing beliefs

The principles and foundations instilled in a child during his upbringing, as well as the knowledge accumulated in the process of life, are our beliefs. When making a decision, making an important choice, we focus on the views that are formed on the basis of the upbringing we received, the influence of authorities, the social environment, and instilled stereotypes. A person has established beliefs in any area of ​​life: personal, professional, religious, social and political.

In work, a person operates with the knowledge that he received during training in his chosen profession. In personal life - the experience accumulated in previous relationships and the morality instilled by society.

Practicing NLP psychotherapists distinguish two main types of internal beliefs: deep and limiting.

Deep Beliefs

Developed in childhood or during upbringing. The best example of such beliefs is internal complexes, as well as how a person perceives and evaluates himself. This may be an old childhood fear. When the parents did not raise the child, but only scolded him, he develops the confidence: “I am not worthy of love!”, which will certainly poison his personal relationships in adulthood. A person’s conviction, which carries a negative connotation, shapes his life scenario, contributing to the development of all kinds of fears and complexes, which in adult life make him insecure, soft-bodied and indecisive.

Limiting or subconscious beliefs

A person does not even realize that he has hidden beliefs that adversely affect his life, forcing him to make wrong decisions, experience fear and self-doubt. These views are so ingrained in his subconscious that he believes that this is the only way it can be. Such beliefs manifest themselves in the form of phrases: “I can’t”, “not for me”, “I can’t”, “unworthy”, “it won’t work out”.

Such attitudes program a person in a negative way. Outdated and destructive beliefs interfere and prevent you from living a full and happy life, and therefore need to be changed. Neurolinguistic programming helps you get rid of wrong beliefs.

Working with beliefs is about becoming aware of persistent thoughts and attitudes and using psychological techniques that will help change these principles. If you decide to use Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques, be careful as beliefs can have both positive and negative effects on a person.

Examples of replacing negative attitudes with positive ones

Let's look at examples of replacing negative attitudes with positive ones:

All people have their limitations. They just need to be detected and replaced with promoting installations. Then your thinking will change, and with it your reality. After all, it all starts with the head.

Belief Changing Technique

Changing beliefs using NLP techniques is based on the method of working with the subconscious, which was proposed by the American psychologist Robert Dilts. Let's look at how to use this technique to work with your beliefs.

Calibration (assessment) of a person in NLP

Preparatory stage

First you need to collect and analyze information. Determine which belief is stopping you at this stage of your life. Formulate it. These could be phrases like: “I’m sick all the time!”, “I never succeed!”, “I’m a loser!”, “Love is not for me!”. Record all your doubts and feelings associated with the statement. It is important to understand why a negative attitude prevents you from forming positive thoughts, turning any action into a loss of faith in yourself and your strength.

Imagine what will change in your life when you start thinking differently.

Assess how your acquaintances and friends will react to changes in your behavior. Formulate a new statement. Please note that this phrase must be positive, describing the process by which you will begin to change your life. For example, “I believe in learning to live a healthy lifestyle!” or “Love is present in my life! I love and I am loved!".

Beliefs from personal experience

The child grows and gains personal experience. The first love, the first interaction with money, the first ups and downs, losses and successes - all this forms stable behavior patterns.

For example, at school the teacher punished him for showing initiative - the child decided not to stick his head out. Or the first love remained unanswered, brought suffering - the belief appeared that “love is pain.”

Changing Beliefs Using NLP Techniques

At the second stage, it is necessary to launch the work of the so-called submodalities in the subconscious - channels through which a person receives information about the world around him and the events occurring in it (visual, kinetic, vocal). Smell, color, size and location are signs that help us perceive and distinguish reality.

Now the negative belief needs to be questioned. Perhaps the conclusion you once made in the past is wrong. Using submodalities, replace the destructive attitude with a new belief. In the process of this psychological work on yourself, you need to pay close attention to your inner feelings.

Testing a New Belief

Whether your subconscious has believed in the new belief will be shown by your further behavior. If you are not sure that the NLP technique has worked, it is worth repeating everything again and thoroughly thinking about the new wording of your statement.

The first stage of the technique is considered the most important: how accurately you identify destructive attitudes, their cause and effect, choose words for new statements and believe in success depends on whether you will be able to start a new life. NLP techniques can be used at any age, which is an advantage of this direction in psychology.

When we are lazy or just don’t feel like doing what we need to do

Did you know that there is simply no such thing as laziness? Laziness is a common characteristic of those who do not do what they need to do in a timely manner. And what you need? Everyone who uses this word defines it for themselves. There are no specifics. In general, people tend to hide behind general concepts. You can hide under laziness a simple reluctance to do something or some kind of justification for inaction.

When this happens quite regularly, we treat it as our peculiarity and believe that in order to overcome it you need to force yourself, turn on your willpower and prove to everyone, and apparently to yourself, that you have overcome this negative quality. Which means well done, and “you can take a pie from the shelf.” Otherwise, you are doomed to treat yourself for life as a bad person, scold and saw yourself with the millstones of your inner critic.

Let me give you an example. Married couples who are experiencing discord in their relationships come to see me. But, whatever the manifestations of this conflict: quarrels, betrayals, coldness in relationships, misunderstandings - the reason is the lack of attention on the part of the partners towards each other. Lack of attention is also a general concept, behind which, as a rule, is the fact that the expectations of partners in relation to each other for some reason do not coincide with reality. But what kind of expectations are we talking about? We need to understand this.

But in fact, what do we mean by this concept – to provide due attention. Sometimes this phrase hides something that we are not even aware of. Are we really sure that by starting to be more attentive to each other, we will fix something? Maybe yes, maybe not.

By the way, both ordinary people and, unfortunately, professionals quite often point to the reason for the lack of attention on the part of one of the partners in situations of discord in relationships. We can only hope that the experts who recommend paying more attention to their spouses in couples with whom problematic relationships arise actually understand how the current situation can be corrected. However, for some reason they do not talk about this openly, but veil these actions behind an intriguing definition, believing that this is the key to unraveling the reasons, that everyone who is addressed with recommendations of this nature knows what needs to be done.

Only if they don’t explain this to us, don’t give us a basis of what we should pay attention to, don’t tell us what we need to start from, what nuances need to be taken into account, what is the key to success - everything will be in vain. It is unlikely that it will be enough to simply observe closely and spend more time with someone with whom there is a discord in the relationship. You can stay close to each other for as long as you like. Only this can lead to even worse results. The issue is not attention, but words and actions, which are not enough to understand and accept each other. But what kind of words and actions these are depends on the situation. And in each specific case they will be different.

We have the same confusion with the definition of laziness. In fact, behind the generalized word “laziness” lies a completely real and specific concept. Most often we mean a situation where we are uninterested and/or difficult. And, as a rule, this does not motivate us. It happens that difficult things for some time cause an incentive to prove to myself that I can. However, only for a while. And if in this short period of time we manage to get a result that is significant for us, then this stimulates us to further exploits.

However, more often a completely different picture occurs. The result we want must be achieved over a long period of time, regularly performing complex and sometimes routine actions. We end up getting bored.

What to do about it? The answer is outrageously simple: simplify the complex, make the uninteresting attractive. Would you say that this is not possible? And you will be wrong. This is a very real task. But, again, we are not taught this: neither in kindergarten, nor at school, nor at home, nor at college. However, if you set a goal, you can develop a skill in accordance with these rules. In my experience, those of you who have these skills do not suffer from laziness. As a result, procrastination is not a frequent visitor to them. As the famous Russian proverb says:

If you sow an action, you will reap a habit.

If you sow a habit, you will reap a character.

If you sow character, you will reap destiny.

When we fear something as a result of our actions

Let me give you an example of where these fears come from and how they influence our thought process. The young man worked in a small government agency and wanted his own business. He claimed to be good at what he was going to do. However, his brain painted him pictures of failure, because of which he did not dare to do anything in this direction. He claimed that he did not believe that he would succeed. And these thoughts made him feel somehow anxious.

In response to my suggestion to try to remember what this feeling of anxiety reminds him of from the past, he began to describe one situation from long ago. She was typical, in my opinion, in terms of the result of dwelling on a negative evaluation.

The events took place during a period of time when my client was a child and in primary school. On that ill-fated day, he and his friends were playing football at the school stadium. One of the boys accidentally hit the school window with a ball and the glass broke. For some reason they blamed him, and not the one who was really to blame.

The class teacher told his mother: “Only your son could do this.” On top of that, the guys on his team turned on him for not taking the blame.

Mom didn't believe him. His friends turned their backs on him. Life has turned into a complete nightmare. For a teenager who lives today, this situation has become key. And our “truth teller” told himself that he would never have anything good in his life again. Yes, it’s surprising that the guy grew up, but the encoding itself remained.

How often we do not even suspect that the root of our inaction lies somewhere far away in childhood and we, thinking about the upcoming task, seem to subconsciously stop ourselves, relying on conclusions that seem to have nothing to do with the modern situation. However, the phrase: “I will never have anything good in my life” contains neither age restrictions nor an indication of what this phrase could be related to. This means that such an internal postulate can always operate throughout life, in all areas, creating an internal barrier and reluctance to do anything in situations in which, for example, there will be a team game. Most often, business is a team game. And in this game you can encounter the following circumstances:

1. I cannot guarantee myself that there will be no “set-ups” on the part of my partners.
2. Your partner can shift responsibility for mistakes onto you if something doesn’t go according to plan.

It is worth noting that it is important not only to find the cause, but also to dispose of it using certain methods. There was an error in this young man’s world map, or rather in his perception and beliefs, because of which he did not allow himself to radically change his life. Figuring out what underlies your internal stupor on your own is sometimes not as easy as it seems. After all, as the saying goes:

You won't know the time when you're inside the alarm clock.

And if you still don’t understand how stuck you are in this alarm clock, then draw your own conclusions. Therefore, we need someone who can look at the situation from the outside, analyze it and push us to find a solution.

As a result of our joint work, the reasons for his internal stupor and subconscious blockages were found, as well as an understanding of how to proceed. He stopped thinking about his new business as something dangerous and began to move towards opening his own business, taking quite decisive steps in this direction. And six months later he came to me and said that he had succeeded. Now he works in a friendly team, which he selected himself and he is satisfied with everything.

The main thing is to realize in time what underlies the condition that literally ties you hand and foot, forcing you to mark time and try to find the necessary information. If this awareness is sufficient, then you need to start trying to do what you want and gradually develop new skills. I think everything will work out.

NLP methods of influencing other people

Neurolinguistic programming has been successfully used not only for individual growth, but also to influence others. Similar psychological techniques are often used in practice:

• managers and owners of large companies;
• politicians;
• creative people (artists, singers, media persons).

Using NLP techniques, you can change the beliefs of colleagues, friends and acquaintances, making them share your point of view. Neurolinguistic programming will help you achieve approval and support in the team, as well as build personal relationships.

There are several most common NLP techniques that will help make a person change his beliefs.

Copy person

This technique will easily help you win the affection of another person. It consists in fully reflecting all the actions of your interlocutor, from the manner of dressing, conducting a conversation, and ending with joint hobbies. You will signal to the person you are interested in that you not only have the same goals, views and hobbies, but also a worldview and life position.

• The techniques that psychologists advise to use are not difficult to implement.
• When talking to your opponent, maintain eye contact with him the entire time.
• Let's understand that you are listening carefully to the person, supporting the conversation with head nods.
• Take the same position as your interlocutor. This simple technique will create a sense of community and belonging between you.

Manipulation

This technique is most often used to influence others. Manipulation makes it easy to achieve what you want using special psychological techniques. During communication, you can suggest to a person whatever you want.

The essence of basic NLP terms

First you need to determine the submodality of a person.

• If the main way to obtain information is a visual picture, then in a conversation it is necessary to say the following phrases: “great prospect”, “hard to imagine”, “I can foresee”.
• If your interlocutor is an auditory speaker, the priority words should be changed to: “I focus attention”, “I fall silent”, “piercing result”.
• When communicating with a kinesthetic learner, use the following phrases: “I feel”, “grab the idea”, “give an award”.

Such expressions will help convey information to the interlocutor in a way that he understands, facilitate communication and make the person support your idea, changing his initial opinion.

Apply the so-called hypnotic gaze. To do this, you should concentrate, without blinking, look at the center of the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose. After successful hypnosis, your opponent will support you and give up his beliefs. You can also build a conversation so that the interlocutor gives you a positive answer 3 times in a row. Then feel free to ask for what you need.

Gypsies often use manipulation to influence people. Attracting attention with their bright appearance, gestures and demeanor, they distract a person and force him to perform actions unusual for him. You can borrow this technique to suggest what you want.

Another NLP manipulation technique is called “pattern breaking.” It consists in showing yourself in the most unexpected way in standard situations. To the question: “How are you?” Instead of the usual phrase - “As usual!”, answer - “Excellent!” While your interlocutor is confused, you can influence him.

NLP tricks

People who master the tricks of the language of persuasion can easily gain favor and trust with the help of NLP, ensuring that their interlocutor changes his opinion about something.

Start the conversation with a positive. Let this be a simple fact known to everyone. Hearing familiar information, a person will relax and open to communication. Use a distraction to gain support. Offer your opponent several possible options to choose from that can solve the problem that has arisen, and then feel free to propose the idea that you are promoting. During the conversation, ask all questions in the affirmative. This technique will create the illusion that a positive response has already been received, and the interlocutor will have no choice but to support you.

If you decide to use NLP techniques, remember that the other person is a unique individual. To understand the motives of other people's actions, try to study their desires and beliefs.

Neuro-linguistic programming should not be used to cause harm.

What are human beliefs?

I will try to say it in as simple words as possible.

Beliefs are our internal rules by which we live, act or do not take action.

Beliefs answer the questions: What to do? How to do?

There can be a lot of beliefs: how many people have so many opinions.

Beliefs can be inspiring or limiting. In this article, I focus specifically on limiting beliefs, since they are the ones that often hold us back from conquering various peaks.

Examples of limiting beliefs: big money - big problems; to have a lot of money, you need to work hard; all men are deceivers; friendship between a man and a woman does not exist; I can never succeed; success is achieved only through deception; I always do everything at the last moment; I will never be able to speak in public, etc.

I think it has become clearer to you what beliefs are. Look at them again, perhaps some are typical for you.

The benefits and harms of the technique

Just a few years ago, neurolinguistic programming was not considered a serious science. Today the situation has changed dramatically. NLP is recognized in many countries around the world. The effectiveness of the teaching has been proven in practice in many countries: France, Germany, Austria and Sweden. NLP has been recognized by the European Society of Psychotherapy, but there is still a group of scientists who consider neuro-linguistic programming a “fraudulent” science. There is ongoing debate about the ethics of using neurolinguistic programming techniques, which, once you master the basics, can help you gain control over the consciousness of another person.

To independently study NLP techniques, you can use books published by famous psychotherapists, videos, webinars and online courses available on the Internet. But you will get faster results if you attend a training on this topic. The coach will tell you how to correctly use neurolinguistic programming methods, help you identify incorrect beliefs and formulate new attitudes.

The technique of neurolinguistic programming can be compared to an ordinary kitchen knife. Someone will use this tableware to prepare food. In the hands of a bad person, a knife can turn into a murder weapon.

Neuro-linguistic programming is strictly contraindicated for some people, as it can be harmful to their health. These psychological techniques should not be used by those who have nervous disorders or any developmental disorders, as well as by children with fragile psyches.