Is this belief in psychology? How to convince a person, psychology? Conducting negotiations with partners. The definition of the concept is belief. Forms of beliefs.
Hello, dear guests!
Today we'll talk about a person's beliefs and look at examples of how to attack an opponent's beliefs in negotiations.
What are beliefs?
Beliefs are stable beliefs and knowledge formed during a person’s life, which no longer require additional confirmation and determine his actions and actions.
Beliefs are a person’s system of views on certain situations, form his attitude towards them and his reaction to them. By passing through all the information coming from outside, beliefs create a picture of human reality.
Our EGO is also based on a belief system (will open in a new tab). It really doesn’t like not knowing something, not being able to do something, or being wrong about something, so it relies on its worldview, formed by “favorite” and convenient beliefs.
- You are kind and cute
- But the star will tell you this:
- I am an unusual man...
Beliefs are stored in our subconscious, so discovering them is not always easy. We live, most often, without thinking about many of our beliefs and without even realizing their existence. Most beliefs are not “in plain sight”; they are not protruded or voiced in everyday life.
Beliefs are formed to simplify our lives. They allow us to quickly and correctly understand the flow of information coming from outside without the need to subject every word or situation to complex analysis. Thanks to our knowledge and beliefs, we know how we need to perceive and react to certain external signals.
Based on our beliefs, we can allow ourselves to experience psychological comfort and feel safe. It seems to us that we know everything and can cope with any (or almost any) situation. Especially if you have the conviction that “language will take you to Kyiv.”
Goals and objectives
Intelligence and culture developed as a way to accelerate human development - not on the physical, but on the mental level. Cultural evolution occurs much faster than biological evolution. Belief systems evolved as part of this development to ensure human survival.
Beyond this ultimate goal of achieving survival, there are also subgoals of belief systems in various aspects of life.
- Beliefs about effective decision making, negotiation, and business conduct exist to help achieve a certain status in the social hierarchy.
- Beliefs about how to cope with things like uncertainty and anxiety exist to help maintain mental health.
- Beliefs about sexuality and dating behavior are intended to ensure that a person's genes are passed on to the next generation.
In other words, subgoals of belief systems exist to ensure that a person is able to satisfy certain needs, to develop self-esteem.
How are beliefs formed?
Most of our beliefs are formed in childhood, on the basis of adopted parental beliefs and attitudes, other information received and personal experience acquired.
Our entire life ultimately depends on our beliefs - academic success, career, material well-being and family happiness.
Parental instructions and attitudes play a special role in the formation of beliefs. For a child experiencing a completely new world, the parent is perceived as God. He knows everything, can do everything and will save you from everything. Therefore, most of the information received from parents is taken on faith and becomes the truth for the child.
Some beliefs are formed through one's own life experiences. The child develops, learns everything new, acquires skills, finds himself in different situations, learns to react correctly to them, and accepts the appropriate knowledge and rules that add up to the general system of his beliefs.
In adolescence and adulthood, a person continues to constantly acquire new knowledge. He studies, reads books, communicates with other people. Knowledge that he “likes” and fits into the picture of his reality becomes his beliefs.
Some beliefs may disappear or be replaced by others in the course of life. Some do not change throughout life. The older a person is, the more difficult it is usually for him to change his beliefs.
What types of beliefs are there?
“All men are assholes,” 18-year-old Tanechka is convinced. Yes, and mom said so... Dad abandoned them with mom when Tanya was 2 years old. My stepfather drank a lot, was very rude and raised his hand to my mother. When he died, my mother dated other men, but it didn’t come to marriage.
“The world is so beautiful and amazing!” - Marina is confident. She works as a biologist at a research institute.
And I am convinced that “only one who knows how to defeat an opponent, first of all in himself, becomes a champion.” It’s a bit long, of course, but I remember - it’s still a conviction! This was written all over the wall in the pool where I trained 2 times a day for 10 years. Therefore, I believed in it long before I understood the meaning of such wise words.
Beliefs, like any words, can be very diverse. Some beliefs are common to many people, for example: “it’s easy to catch a cold in a draft.” Some are more rare, for example: “if you pick up a toad, you will get warts.” And some are very rare or even isolated: “there are ears above the forehead.”
As we have already found out, beliefs arise with some meaning in order to bring us some benefit. Some beliefs played a useful role in childhood, but have been preserved and continue to serve us in the future. Often doing a disservice.
For example, so that we would not fool around by riding the elevator, my mother convinced us that “the elevator is dangerous.” Elevators often get stuck and fall down, killing people. We stopped riding in elevators as children, but as adults we developed an unreasonable fear of elevators or, in general, a fear of any enclosed spaces (claustrophobia).
Thus, the belief that elevators are dangerous became harmful and unnecessary for us as we grew up. And we can have a lot of similar beliefs.
Look at your life. Does everything in it happen the way you want? If not, then you have beliefs that are preventing you from making your life the way you want.
We live the way our subconscious wants (will open in a new tab). It is this that determines 90% of all our actions and our lives. And the subconscious is filled with beliefs. It turns out that everyone has exactly what they want in their life. Only he himself is not aware of this.
Realizing that you have any harmful beliefs, you can consciously remove these beliefs or replace them with others that are more useful.
You can quickly identify beliefs that are harmful to you in my sessions
Classification
In psychology, neutral beliefs, resourceful and limiting, are considered. The first represent a set of scientific concepts accessible to people. Resource includes the capabilities on which beliefs are created. The last group includes negative resources.
The entire procedure of persuasion consists of 4 types of influence:
- Informing. Before a person is encouraged to act, he must be convinced why he should act. This is necessary because no one will start doing something without realizing why it should be done. Polish psychologist T. Tomaszewski derived a formula based on this. It reflects a simple idea: in order to motivate a person to the desired activity, he should be informed about the goals and the likelihood of achieving it. Informing in the process of persuasion is carried out in various ways, the main one is a story that follows an inductive and deductive path.
- Explanation. This is a persuasive influence in which all the arguments “for” and “against” the subject of persuasion are used.
- Proof. This is a technique for establishing the truth of a statement using facts, arguments and various related judgments. Evidence is usually based on scientific data and social practice.
- Efficiency. This is the basis of persuasion, in which numerous techniques of the persuasion system are used. Techniques are selected depending on the circumstances and personality traits of the person being convinced.
Limiting beliefs - what are they?
The purpose of limiting beliefs is to keep us away from everything new, unknown and excessive. If in childhood the parents said to the child: “Why did you choose such a big verse for yourself? You won't be able to learn it! Choose a smaller poem!”, then the child will most likely form the belief: “you shouldn’t take on something new and difficult - nothing will work out.”
Such a belief will limit this person in life, will not allow him to reveal all his abilities and realize himself to the fullest. He will refuse an interesting but difficult project proposed to him. He will not try to implement his idea if it seems to him that it is not easy to do.
The belief “the best is the enemy of the good” can prevent you from realizing the desire to do something even better. “Better a bird in the hand than a pie in the sky” helps some women endure harmful and humiliating relationships.
Test your subconscious attitudes
To check your settings recorded in the subconscious, ask yourself questions, say to yourself or out loud, the beginning of the installation, for example:
- For me the World is......
- I live for......
- The meaning of my life is….
- For me, Happiness is...
- People around me...
- Love is…
Listen to yourself, write down your answers, analyze your answers and attitudes. An important point is that this must be done in writing. Answers must be sincere! Listen to yourself, your subconscious, what thoughts will follow the beginning of the phrase. What definition of the World will your subconscious give? YOUR amazing inner world will unfold before you! Do an analysis, read the correctness of the settings, if the settings and definitions are incorrect, you need to work on them. Remove the negative, replace with the positive.
Beliefs about money
It’s not bad when beliefs limit us in drinking alcohol: “drinking a lot is harmful.” It’s worse when beliefs limit the amount of money you have, which you constantly lack: “money is evil.”
Those who grew up in the Soviet Union remember the lines of the poem: “no matter how much a rich lazy man smells, he smells very bad, guys.” No one wanted to be a rich quitter back then. Then, of course, many were able to cope with this belief... And some still believe in it.
Everyone has heard the expression “money doesn’t buy happiness” since childhood. If you take it on faith and make it your conviction, then it will be difficult to get rich. It is also difficult to be happy knowing that “only fools are happy.”
In general, if you constantly lack money, it is worth working on your limiting beliefs regarding money and material things in general. But first, of course, you need to discover them in yourself.
Self-perception, attitude towards yourself
Answers to the questions - who am I and why do I live? The answers to these simple but profound questions must be consistent with all internal attitudes. These are the basic and basic definitions that characterize a person. For yourself inside, for your own strong or weak position in life, you definitely must give answers to these questions. Am I an animal or just a body ruled by instincts? Am I divine, bright and strong in nature with energy with great potential? Maybe this is the matrix I don't really live?
What is a sense of life?
A normal, mature person should answer the following questions about life without hesitation: Is life a complete punishment or is it pain and suffering? Life and perfection for true noble purposes - to bring life and love to the Universe? Is my life a gift from Fate, a unique opportunity for development, creation and struggle? NO!
Correct answer: Everyone has the same value and meaning in life - true love for another person and the endless desire of the universe for perfection and beauty
What is happiness?
Naturally, every person should know the answers to the questions: what is Happiness? What is commonly called a happy person, satisfied with his life. What happiness consists of, its visual representation and the basics of a happy life.
Happiness is the coloring of a person’s emotional state at a given moment in time, characterized as the middle line of emotional memories and the sum of vivid positive and negative emotions recorded in deep memory. These are just our memories!
Having clear life guidelines is the road to my Happiness, here is the action plan, here are my main criteria. Here is my insurance and here are my preserved pieces of happy moments. Here's my next goal. I am my persistence - like a character trait!
Psychological techniques
For those who want to become persuasive, it is useful to know about such techniques and be able to use them. Often basic techniques are enough - for example, links to the majority. According to research, 85% of the world's population are conformists, for whom the argument of “correct” behavior is very powerful. It is enough to refer to the majority opinion or generally accepted norms, and the scales will tip in your favor.
The principle of contrast also works well - it is often used in sales. A person is offered objects with a very noticeable difference - in favor of what needs to be sold. Other effective techniques:
- “second offer”: a person is made the first, obviously unprofitable, and he refuses, and then the second - a kind of concession (exactly what should have been achieved initially), and the opponent, “rehabilitating” after the refusal or making a compromise, agrees;
- fast speech: if you speak clearly, quickly, you look more convincing - this can be learned in rhetoric courses;
- reframing - “turning” a negative statement in a positive way, using positive rhetoric;
- open questions with a positive answer - let the person speak out and get consent in principle, and then it will be easier;
- visual and tactile contact - you need to be careful here, but if you break this invisible barrier, achieving agreement will become much easier;
- strong arguments come last, then they will be better remembered.
