A guide to implementing good habits and getting rid of bad ones.
What does our life consist of? What are the activities that we perform every day? Those very actions, big and small, sometimes completely unnoticeable, that create our way of life, way of thinking and which, in fact, create our future? Yes, today we will talk about habits, bad and useful, as well as how to get rid of the first and introduce the second. workbook to go along with this article .
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What are habits
Your habits are your perception of who you are. If you do something for a long time, it often begins to merge with your personality, and now you no longer perceive yourself as a person who is now overweight, but describe yourself as a “fat person.” You say that you are a smoker, not a person who smokes a certain number of cigarettes a day. Your habit becomes you, which interferes with the process of separating yourself from the habit and, as a result, harms working with habits.
I want to change my life: where to start?
- Learn to live consciously
. Not just living every day, but thinking about what you want to achieve? What are your goals? Having achieved what, will you say that you did not waste your allotted time in vain? In this article we will tell you how to understand what you want from life. - Live in the present and think about the future
. Many people dwell on the mistakes of the past. But the past cannot be corrected, so draw conclusions and move on. - Master the 3+6 technique, which is described in the article. It will help you change your views and lifestyle.
- Remember that the main thing is to act. A person who does nothing will never change anything.
What can your habits tell you?
Take a few minutes and see what habits you have. Remember your day from the very morning, go through action by action and determine your daily habits.
Now take a closer look at your list. Does it record the habits of a successful, happy person? Or not? Remember: the quality of your habits determines the quality of your life, and being honest with yourself is the key to change for the better.
All habits have a reason. Even the most harmful ones provide you with some kind of emotional reward or benefit. Also, most bad habits are a disguised way to avoid something in life. What are you running from? Think about it.
Keep in control
When you control the process, you are consistent and committed. Hang a piece of paper or a board in your room and draw a large chart on it, broken down by days (for example, 21 days to develop a new habit) and habits. In it, somehow mark the days when you stuck to the habit you were developing and the days when you didn’t. You can also track the process using special web services such as:
HabitForge helps you monitor your habit formation process within 21 days. If you miss one day, the countdown starts again.
Rootein - unlike Habit Forge, this is a continuous tracker; if there are too many missed days, it warns you about it. You can also use its mobile version.
Joe's Goals - Similar to Rootein. You can set the option to check the same task multiple times during highly productive days.
How to get rid of bad habits
1) Change your thinking.
You haven't always smoked, just as you may not have always been overweight. All this is the result of your habits, not your birth. Repeating a bad habit brought this result into your reality and changed the perception of yourself. Fortunately, this is changeable. Separate yourself from your habit.
2) Determine who you are now and who you want to be.
To change a habit, you need to determine who you are now and who you want to be. Do you really want to remain the person you are now?
3) Determine what need the bad habit fills?
What needs does it satisfy and what reward does it give you? Think about other ways you can get what you are currently getting from your bad habit.
4) Be fully immersed in the habit.
Be 100% committed to the habit no matter the obstacles. Work with the habit for as long as necessary. And be sure to return to it even after a breakdown and even if it’s hard.
5) Take responsibility.
When you don't take responsibility for your habits and their results, you give power to circumstances and other people. Bad habits are your choice, even if it seems like circumstances are to blame.
6) Use a timer.
Track how much time you spend on this habit. Start a timer every time you return to your habit. These numbers can seriously shake you up.
7) Work with emotions.
What emotions do you experience before, during and after performing a bad habit ritual? Is there a feeling of guilt among them?
Actions BEFORE committing a bad habit: promise yourself that in 5 minutes you will do your usual action, but first, for example, read (if you like to read). Use any activity that brings you joy. This will slow down the impulse and shift the focus of attention.
WHEN committing a bad habit: if you succumb to the urge, evaluate whether you are getting the expected emotions at the moment? Create distractions for yourself to distract yourself from the habit and return to it after some action (if you remember and if you want). Thanks to such breaks, you turn off automaticity and turn on your consciousness.
AFTER committing a bad habit: evaluate how you feel? Are you happy or guilty? Feel your feelings, don’t push them away. Think about what you could do instead of this habit.
Why is it important to evaluate your emotions after committing a bad habit? Because if your expectations from the habit are wrong and you then begin to feel guilty, for example, at some point you may decide that enough is enough, the habit is not worth these emotions.
Replace bad habits with good ones.
Replacing a habit is more effective than quitting. If you plan to stop playing games for 3 hours or surfing social networks all the time, think about what you will do with the free time. If you have no ideas, you will most likely return to your bad habit.
21 minute rule
- Anyone who exercises 21 minutes a day should not worry about their health.
- If you spend 21 minutes a day cleaning your home, you won't have to worry about clutter.
- Anyone who devotes 21 minutes a day to improving concentration will not have to worry about creative block.
- Anyone who finds 21 minutes a day to listen to the affairs of their husband or wife need not worry about problems in their relationship.
- If you spend 21 minutes a day listening to yourself and taking personal notes, you won't have to worry about running out of ideas.
- Anyone who works 21 minutes a day to create sources of income does not need to worry about their own financial well-being.
- Anyone who sets aside 21 minutes for rest should not be afraid of overwork and fatigue.
- Anyone who reads a useful book at least 21 minutes a day should not worry about becoming an expert. © Alex Baihou
Of course, it is not easy to comply with all these rules at the same time. They should not be a burden to you, so, of course, you can retreat a little from them and rest. But it is very important to do them systematically in order to consolidate the habit. Then your life will reach a whole new level.
Start right now, don't put it off until later. Then the results will not keep you waiting. The result of developing a habit in 21 days will be improved health, state of mind and body, enlightenment of the mind, passion and novelty in work and family life.
How to implement new habits?
1) Prepare your mind.
Determine why you have failed to implement new habits in the past. Too many habits at once? High expectations? Lack of motivation? Did you try to change for yourself or for someone else?
2) Think through possible obstacles.
Determine what can slow you down, what difficulties you may encounter along the way. What triggers can cause a relapse?
3) Make a preventive plan.
Figure out how they can get around certain obstacles or situations. For example, you are on a diet, and you have dinner with friends ahead. What will you do? Decide that you will order fruit salad instead of dessert. Using the “If... then...” method, think through all possible situations and their solutions.
4) Believe in yourself.
Do you believe that you can perform the chosen action for a long time? On a scale of 1 to 10, rate how confident you are in your abilities. If the score is less than 8, break the habit into smaller actions and check your confidence level again. Start small.
5) Create a supportive environment.
For example, remove all harmful products from your home (or out of sight). Surround yourself with people who are also implementing this habit or are already living with it.
6) Determine your “why”.
It's hard to be immersed in an activity if you don't understand why you need it. Ask yourself the question “why?” until you get to the bottom of it.
7) Should or want?
What words do you use when talking about a new habit? If you say “should,” then perhaps the habit was forced on you, it came from outside, not from within.
Write down your habit and your intention on paper every day.
Regularly writing down your intention on paper sends the right information to your brain, strengthening your willpower and motivation.
9) Find a partner to implement the habit and argue with him for a successful result.
If you are afraid of an argument, reconsider your confidence in success, and if necessary, reduce the habit. Meet regularly and discuss your progress, your motivation, and any difficulties that arise. Look for a solution together and motivate each other not to give up.
10) Join a paid support group or course related to your habit.
When you invest money in something, you give yourself an incentive to work on the habit.
11) Simplify your start.
Remember: consistency is now more important than results. Start with 1 push-up, walk instead of jogging, etc.
The main thing is to start!
Form a social circle
The decision to change your life and intensive work on yourself often frightens those around you. Business coach, lecturer, author M. J. Rine in the book “This Year I... How to Change Habits, Keep Promises, or Do What You've Been Dreaming of” says that when a person changes, it affects everyone in his circle communication.
A person’s work on himself causes fear, envy and fear for himself among those closest to him. For example, when a person decides to get rid of bad habits, the people with whom he communicates will perceive this as a condemnation of their unhealthy lifestyle. Therefore, relatives and friends unconsciously try to use all resources so that everything remains as it is.
People listen to outside opinions more than their own. This becomes a stumbling block on the path to a new life. Stop listening to other people's doubts, excuses and pessimistic forecasts. Pay attention to useful tips, but decide whether to use them yourself.
Find people who have achieved the heights you strive for. They have already walked this path and achieved success, they have proven that change is possible not only in dreams, but also in reality. Communicating with those who have become successful:
- find support and motivation;
- charge yourself with positivity;
- you will become cheerful.
Avoid the company of those who drag you back. The famous psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky advises that in order to achieve success, overcome the desire to please others and work on what appeals to a person who strives for a better life.
Create a circle of communication with people who radiate the energy of success, are ready to share knowledge and come to the rescue in difficult circumstances.
A few rules when introducing habits:
- don’t trust your future self. If today you do nothing to change your lifestyle, then tomorrow you will live the same way; - work on 1-2 habits at a time, no more; - don’t miss more than one day! If a breakdown occurs, the next day simply return to duty in any case; - under no circumstances scold yourself for a breakdown, otherwise you will discourage yourself from introducing a new habit; - praise yourself for regularity and give yourself small gifts; — keep track of your actions using a habit tracker or diary to clearly see your progress; - every breakdown is information for you. Assess what caused the breakdown and try to prevent it next time.
Do you want to work more effectively with new habits?
Video on the topic.
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Get ahead of your schedule
Getting things done ahead of schedule is a motivating factor. Waking up at 5 a.m. puts you ahead of the world (and your old self who lived according to the old schedule), and this motivates you to work faster and stay ahead. Finishing work ahead of schedule and starting a new task before the scheduled time gives you extra momentum. Knowing that you are getting things done ahead of your schedule will help you be naturally motivated to complete all your planned activities, including your habits.
If completing a task takes longer than necessary, you should make a choice:
Hurry up and do everything in time.
Postpone unimportant tasks or Take advantage of the time allocated to complete the following tasks and continue the current one. This also means that you will have to work faster for the rest of the day. This decision-making process is important because otherwise you will spend the rest of the day trying to catch up, which will affect your planned tasks/habits. Subsequently, this will also affect your desire to maintain habits. Do everything ahead of schedule and you will find that it is easier to stay motivated.
