- September 26, 2019
- Psychology of Personality
- Nechitailo Oksana
Do people who are constantly late annoy you? For example, you are sitting at a planning meeting, and then a breathless employee stumbles in, clumsily mumbles an apology and plops down in his seat. Naturally, the work environment has been disrupted. Everyone pays attention to the latecomer and listens to him “there are traffic jams in the subway today.” In short, people who are constantly late cause quite expected irritation. But there are also those who always arrive on time. A person who is able to manage his time commands respect.
They have a planner and use it every day.
If you want to be on time everywhere, you should start from the moment you wake up, even if all your tasks are later in the day. The key to success is planning your day. You should look at your planner and play out in your mind what will happen during the day and in what order. Then think through each step and decide what you need to prepare to accomplish everything you have planned for the day.
Why am I always late
An unpunctual person is unlikely to evoke positive emotions in other people. When you are late in a single case for a good reason: stuck in an elevator, taking your grandmother across the road, lost something, transport failed, etc., this can be understood and forgiven. But when delays occur with enviable regularity, no one will like this behavior. At work, reprimands from superiors follow, including deprivation of bonuses. If you are late for a date, the person waiting for you is unlikely to be happy either.
The following are the reasons for being late:
An avid adrenaline junkie. Some people are addicted to the hormone adrenaline, which is produced in extreme situations, from fear. Usually this hormone is obtained by people involved in extreme sports: skydiving, snowboarding from high mountain peaks, etc. But a simpler and more primitive way to get it is to be late. The boss at work is unlikely to tolerate this; reprimands and complaints will always follow. And swearing causes an adrenaline rush. Inability to compose. Regular tardiness also indicates that a person does not know how to properly distribute tasks throughout the day. This usually comes from childhood, when parents remind the child of something that he always forgets. Therefore, he himself does not know how to remember his own tasks that he has outlined and allocate time for them. Lack of desire. The next reason for being late is the reluctance to go somewhere, go, or meet a person. This happens on a subconscious level. Perfectionism. . This applies to the appearance and quality of work and house cleaning. A perfectionist woman getting ready for work early in the morning wants to look perfect, she carefully paints her lips, combs her hair for a long time, and preens in front of the mirror. The consequence of such actions is lateness.
Few people like it when a friend, colleague or loved one is constantly late. It's annoying. Such behavior is a banal manifestation of ignorance. Punctuality speaks about a person's culture. Even the best employee will eventually be replaced if he regularly arrives half an hour or sometimes an hour later than expected.
An adult is capable. The following tips will help with this:
Create a clear daily routine. When there are a lot of things to do and worries, in the process of doing them you forget to look at the clock, time flies by. Therefore, we end up being late for an important meeting, a date with a loved one, or a friend’s birthday. To prevent this from happening, keep a diary for your notes, where you will schedule your entire day clearly by the hour. First, allocate time and space on paper to list all your tasks for the day, and only then set the approximate time for their completion. It may turn out that some matter can be postponed to another day. This decision will help you stay focused. Come early. Get into the habit of arriving at a meeting, work, date, or other event a few minutes early. To do this, go to bed earlier and get up earlier so that you have more time to get ready in the morning. There is no need to exaggerate the possibilities and arrive an hour in advance. Calculate the time so that you arrive 5-10 minutes in advance, no more than that.
You are 30 minutes late for work. The boss, gritting his teeth, scolds you. And thoughts are frantically spinning in your head to come up with something like this and to thoroughly smear yourself, to come up with a good reason for the next “jamb.” The most popular excuses are: “stuck in the elevator”, “pipes in the house burst”, “the lock is broken”, “traffic jam” and others of the like. It’s unlikely that this will have any effect on the boss; he understands perfectly well that you are an inveterate “late person.” When you stop these childish excuses and admit your real guilt to your boss and colleagues, you will immediately feel responsible for your actions and composure will appear. Sit on the path. As often happens, just before leaving for an important meeting, we like to occupy ourselves with some interesting activity: read a book, scroll through the news. There are only 5 minutes left before leaving, but they fly by and turn into 15 minutes. Then it’s too late, you’re catastrophically late. Give up this habit. If you have nothing to do during those 5 minutes, just sit in the hallway and wait. It’s better to leave early, this will give you another chance not to be late. Set the time back. If you clearly know how long you will be late, for example, it is 5-10 minutes, then set your watch to that time. It’s even better if someone else does it for you so that you don’t know (friends, family). Then you will stop being late. Motivation and auto-training. Start the day by saying in front of the mirror that you will no longer be late. Of course, do this if you really want to get rid of a bad habit. Write down on a piece of paper what you will get when you stop being late. This could be the approval of friends, the respect of colleagues and superiors. Perhaps, before moving up the career ladder, you lacked punctuality. You are a good worker, but you don’t know how to keep track of time, and this is extremely important for the boss. These are a few points to become a punctual person.
Preparation in the evening. If you are late mainly in the mornings and for work, then the following method will help you - prepare everything in the evening. For example, in the morning you choose what outfit to wear. Do this in the evening. Take the suit out of the closet and hang it in a visible place so you don't have to run around with your eyes wide open and look for suitable clothes before going out. Do the same with food. Prepare containers, place food in them, and put them in the refrigerator. In the morning, all you have to do is put it in a bag or bag. If you eat porridge or omelet in the morning, prepare these dishes in the evening. And in the morning, just heat it up in the microwave. Things in visible places. Sometimes we are late because we have lost one thing or another: mobile phone, keys, handbag, wallet. Put everything you need right away in your bag or at the exit on a shelf or dressing table so you can see it and not forget it. And it’s even better if you designate a specific place for such little things where you will put them. This way you will always know where to look for them. Consider possible reasons for delays. Unforeseen situations happen often. This is a traffic jam and delay of transport. Before leaving, don’t be lazy to go online and check the road conditions, find the route with the least amount of traffic jams. If you travel by public transport, study the schedule and prepare money for a taxi just in case. Fill your car with gasoline in advance so that you don’t have to stop at a gas station in the morning. Have breakfast at home so that your growling stomach doesn’t force you to stop at a roadside cafe along the way. Wake up with an alarm. If your habit includes switching your alarm clock later (5-10 minutes), get rid of it. Get up as soon as you hear the first notes. Alternatively, set it a few minutes earlier. To make this process easier, go to bed earlier. To wake up faster and open your eyes properly, first of all, wash your face, brush your teeth and do at least a few warm-up exercises (exercises) to wake up your body. And if you have a coffee machine with a delay option, then set the coffee brewing time just at the moment you wake up, then... Calculating time for daily activities. Observe how much time you spend on this or that activity at home: showering, brushing your teeth, breakfast. It’s best to measure it clearly by the hour, write it down in your diary, and build on these indicators to build a daily routine. More hours around. Surround yourself with hours. Don't overdo it. If you don’t have a wristwatch, keep a mobile phone with you and hang beautiful tickers on the wall so you can check the time at any time.
They use buffer space
People who are never late create realistic time limits for themselves and then give themselves extra buffer space. People who are constantly late tend to underestimate the amount of time it will take them to complete a given task. Punctual people suffer from the same thing, but they recognize it and plan for the unexpected by giving themselves a little more time.
Just like getting ready for a date: how beavers wash themselves in the river (video)
Why did ancestors in the old days dream of good weather on Forgiveness Sunday?
“I don’t depend on men”: Sofia Ernst about her success
What is punctuality
To correctly understand the question: what is human punctuality, it is necessary to observe how it manifests itself. Punctuality is a trait, an individual property of a person, which manifests itself in the fact that he is able to fulfill his promises and obligations to other people at a strictly defined time.
Punctuality is synonymous with precision when it comes to the quality of work done, but the concept itself is always associated with time, or more precisely with a person who is late by a certain time.
Different countries have different attitudes towards lateness, depending on the cultural and social norms of the society. In Germany, for example, people always know what punctuality means for them and for others, so they try to be punctual, and only circumstances beyond their control make them late for a meeting. German precision in telling time is called German punctuality, and in German culture it has become a norm of behavior.
The Spaniards, on the contrary, are always late everywhere, and the others who are waiting for them are completely calm and do not give up, because they know that next time they too may be late. Punctuality as a character trait of a person indicates his ability to do something accurately and accurately at exactly the appointed time, strictly follow instructions, regularly and unobtrusively comply with rules and certain conditions, and bring what he started to the end.
Punctuality is the opposite of carelessness, and such a careless person may look quite decent from the outside until you sort him out. A person may look neat, be sociable, erudite, successful and beautiful, but his inherent slowness makes his authority much lower. Irresponsibility associated with failure to meet deadlines greatly irritates even the most patient people. But there is an interesting fact: despite the fact that this feeling causes negative emotions, it is often accompanied by humor. People laugh at this human vice. There are many jokes, anecdotes, and especially in them the main role is played by a woman who can never get ready by a certain time. This is due to the peculiarity of women’s character; they often cannot figure out what to wear on a date, but at the last moment their mood changes, and they have to change clothes when they are already expected. In addition, women sometimes quite deliberately come last, for example, to some kind of dinner, in order to attract the attention of all those who have already gathered to appreciate their appearance. This sight has great meaning for a woman, but it is still a very primitive way of behavior. If a woman looks beautiful, then whenever she appears, she will attract glances.
Punctuality is a positive characteristic for a person
An example of a punctual person from my life
Punctuality manifests itself in different ways, for example, sometimes it is noticeable in certain conditions or in one area. I have a friend who does not live according to a schedule, does not make plans for the day, can afford spontaneous meetings or other spontaneous actions, but is very punctual in professional matters:
- First of all, and always submits his reports on time;
- She leaves the house on time;
- Responds to messages promptly (although lately she has been doing this less and less on her days off and has almost stopped staying late at work or leaving after the end of the working day)
- Demanding of himself and others;
- Maintains a certain order on his desk and scolds everyone who moves or removes something from it.
In everyday life this is practically not the case, all that remains is the desire to arrange objects on tables. He also always sets the clock forward a little.
Despite this, he may be late for a meeting with friends. But at the same time, he will arrive with time to spare for a concert or other friendly meeting that requires strict adherence to time limits. So punctuality can be like that too.
Rules for a punctual person
To improve your ability to get things done on time, everywhere, here's a quick guide:
- Plan for the week and for the day. A good way to do this is with a journal. You can create an hourly plan for the day, this will allow you to understand when and what to do, eliminating unnecessary confusion.
- When planning tasks, allocate 10-15 minutes more to them than you need. This will help you get everything done even if something unexpected happens.
- Multitasking increases the risk of your promises not being kept. It is important to learn to refuse offers by realistically assessing your capabilities.
- Minimize the number of unpleasant tasks per day. If a person does not want to go to a meeting or work, he unconsciously puts off this unpleasant moment: he slows down his movements, reduces his concentration, and there is a high probability that he will simply “forget” about an important matter.
- To avoid missing an important event, you can set a reminder on your mobile phone.
To save time getting ready in the morning, prepare your clothes and pack your bag in the evening. It's also helpful to think through several options for getting to your destination, anticipating traffic or weather conditions.
Note: Journaling, setting reminders, and creating itineraries may seem like a frustrating task that you can drown in. But that's not true. All these little things matter: they guarantee stability, comfort and punctuality.
Why is punctuality important?
They say that punctuality is the courtesy of kings. There are also stereotypes about German punctuality: it is believed that Germans are able to agree on the exact time and date of the next meeting a year in advance and arrive on time. Why is punctuality so important? It's simple: exact time is convenient.
If someone is late, you may end up spending an hour aimlessly waiting when you could be spending that time working, going on a bike ride, or spending time with your family. If the work is not completed on time, it can derail all future plans and become a real loss. In this case, not only those waiting, but also the unpunctual person himself become victims of delays and tardiness.
The inability to manage your time has a negative impact on your schedule: even if a person has a lot of free time, if he doesn’t know how to plan it, it will seem to him that there is no time. Very often, this is how people’s lives turn into constant work: they put off unimportant things, get distracted, and then they can’t control anything and become overtired. If you learn to be punctual, you will have enough time for both work and leisure.
Thus, punctuality is not only a way to show others that you are a responsible person. It's also important to know your schedule so you can work more efficiently and make time for hobbies and family. Essentially, punctuality is respect for your time and the time of others.
It is impossible to deny that in the modern world, time is becoming the most important resource. We are overloaded with all sorts of things, we want to lead an active social life, actively relax, work, take care of children, have hobbies and a circle of friends. However, a lot of time is spent on small daily tasks, traveling from one place to another and waiting in queues. It is impossible to lead an active life without planning your time, because every free minute needs to be spent wisely. If you learn to be punctual, it will affect every area of your life.
Completing tasks on time is important literally everywhere.
- Friends will stop waiting for you, you will be able to plan more eventful leisure time and you will have time to communicate with more people. With a busy workday, it's notoriously difficult to find time for friends. But if you learn to plan wisely, you won’t have to deprive yourself of the joy of communication at all. And your friends will definitely appreciate it if you respect their time and don't keep them waiting.
- At work, you should be able to complete your daily tasks quickly - if you are more punctual, this is a positive quality for which your colleagues and superiors will praise you. Additionally, if you begin to clearly estimate how long it will take you to complete a task, you may find that you will begin to get the job done faster. Punctuality can potentially get you a higher position or more free time.
- With children, punctuality is also very important. If you can't get them to school on time or check their homework, it can make them feel uneasy. In addition, it is always important to instill good and healthy habits in children, and this is best done by example. If you yourself always try to be punctual, then it is likely that your children will also learn to be punctual.
- Time management is also useful in everyday life. Do you know that feeling when household chores take up all your free time? If you can't plan, you might spend your entire day cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning—leaving no time for parenting, reading, hobbies, or hanging out with friends. If you are more punctual, you will be able to get through boring household chores faster.
Indeed, punctuality has many benefits. But learning to manage your time can take a lot of work and patience. Don’t expect that tomorrow you will wake up as a punctual person: the art of managing your time will require daily work on yourself.
Punctuality can be cultivated on your own
How not to go to extremes?
Of course, all extremes are bad. If you are too concerned about punctuality and berate yourself for sometimes being five minutes late, nothing good will come of it. First of all, allow yourself to make mistakes - we are all human, it is impossible to always succeed in everything. Feeling unwell, being late for the bus or simply being tired can sometimes lead to plans not being implemented - this is completely normal. You should strive to do everything on time, but perfection is impossible.
The constant fear of being late can lead to stress, although the true purpose of punctuality is to reduce it. You should plan not for the sake of having a plan, but so that you can get more done and feel rested.
If being punctual makes you feel uncomfortable, you may be overdoing it.
It is also important not to be too hard on yourself and forgive others for any minor mistakes. You probably have friends who are sometimes a little late or fulfill requests later than promised. You shouldn’t blame them for this; after all, everyone has the right to force majeure circumstances.
They know how to say no
It's impossible to keep up if you're trying to do too many things. However, an excess of tasks is gradually becoming a feature of modernity, which everyone decides to simply come to terms with. But it doesn't have to be this way, and the solution is simple - learn to say no. If punctuality is important to you, don't try to fit too much into one day. Know your limits on what you can reasonably do and stick to them.
Fix your brain and not be late?
Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in private practice, said persistent tardiness may stem from a problem with obsessive overthinking. Simply put, a procrastinator focuses on the fear surrounding the event or deadline that he or she is late for. Instead of trying to figure out how to overcome the fear, the person turns the fear into an excuse, which is usually accompanied by a part of the sentence beginning with “but.”
For example, you might say to yourself, “I wanted to make it to this event, but I couldn't decide what to wear... I started writing an article, but I thought my colleagues wouldn't think it was good enough...” It's what comes after the word that matters "But". She recommends that her clients change “but” to “and.” “But” shows opposition and blocking, while “and” shows connection and solution. As a result, the task ceases to be impossible, and fear ceases to be an obstacle.
Everyone knows these people: a colleague who always misses deadlines, a nanny who arrives at the wrong time, or a journalist who does not have time to write an article by the deadline, citing his “special” method. And even when there are several hours left before their scheduled dinner, these people still need to be reminded to arrive half an hour early.
Few things are as annoying as being late. You nervously glance at your watch and mentally go through appropriate adjectives for the person you are waiting for. At the same time, it is highly unlikely that he is simply selfish.
If you try to understand the psychology of being late, you will discover a consciousness in which something seems to have broken. But there is more to it than that, and the problem cannot be solved overnight. We need to understand what underlies this behavior.
Those who are often late are not lazy
Unpunctual people tend to be perceived in a negative light. They can easily be described as disorganized, ignorant, or unconcerned with the interests of others. But many of them are still organized in at least some way and want to please their friends, relatives and bosses. People who have difficulty with punctuality are often aware of this and feel extremely uncomfortable because their actions leave a negative mark on their relationships, reputation, career and financial well-being.
Apologies, apologies
There are also good reasons, force majeure or illness, for example. But other explanations are not so easily accepted.
Some experts believe that this is the cost of the fact that in the modern world people are concerned with more important issues than time management, they have to achieve maximum results under pressure; or the biological clock is set in a certain way (night owl, lark).
Lateness can occur through no fault of a person, it can simply be his nature, character traits that are difficult to change. Researchers believe that unpunctual people tend to have such traits as excessive optimism, low levels of self-control, anxiety, and, at the same time, a desire for thrills. The likelihood that such a person will arrive at the wrong time is almost embedded in his subconscious.
Personal characteristics may also determine how a person tracks the passage of time. In this regard, psychologists divide people into two types: the first includes those who are ambitious, those who love competition and struggle, the second - those who are creative and more prone to reflection.
A 2001 study by San Diego researchers found that everyone tracks time differently.
During the study, participants were asked to try to determine - without a stopwatch - how long one minute lasts. Most representatives of the first type completed the minute countdown at approximately the 58th second mark. For people of the second type, a minute lasted an average of 77 seconds.
You are your own worst enemy
People who are often late have a strange desire to lose, Tim Urban said at a TED conference in 2015. He calls himself a late person, and for other people who like to arrive at the wrong time, he uses the acronym CLIP (Chronically Late Insane People, or crazy people with a chronic tendency to be late).
Of course, there are other reasons, but many create problems for themselves, for example, due to excessive attention to detail. For example, for some, the most difficult task they face is writing school reports. Latecomers have difficulty meeting deadlines and spend too much effort trying to devote time to every detail. And the thought that the final result is achieved late depresses them too much.
Some seek to avoid certain situations, for example, people with low self-esteem are likely to be more critical of their abilities and double-check their work several times. Low productivity is often accompanied by depression.
Set your internal clock to the correct time?
A procrastinator focuses on the fear that accompanies an event or deadline to which something needs to be met. And, instead of trying to figure out how to overcome this fear, he looks for excuses. An apology usually contains a “but.” For example, an explanation might be: “I wanted to meet a deadline, but I couldn't decide what to wear. I tried to write an article, but my colleagues criticized it, and I didn’t think it was good enough.” Whatever comes after, it is the “but” that is important.
Replace that “but” with “and.” “But” implies resistance, a block, and the conjunction “and”, in turn, suggests a solution to the problem. The task becomes less difficult, and fear no longer seems like a serious obstacle. If you're tired of frequently waiting for slow friends, set boundaries and sequences for missed opportunities. Try to adapt to exactly what has always made you late.
Perhaps it’s all about the feeling of haste and excitement that a person involuntarily strives to feel. And changing this feeling is the only way out.
To manage your time more effectively, you need to realize that your reputation as a reliable person is very important. And development in this direction may become a priority goal. Old habits live long. The next time you find yourself keeping someone waiting, try to understand your thinking and change just a little.
Again, there are friends and family who are tired of all this. But there is hope for those who are kept waiting. You can explain what you don't want to put up with.
Instead of getting frustrated or frustrated, take a stand and set some boundaries. Explain to the person what may happen if he continues in the same spirit. For example, tell a friend who is late that you will go to the cinema without him/her if he/she is ten minutes late. And tell a colleague who never submits his part of a project on time that his work will not be accepted in the future.
– a technological means of combating employee tardiness. The working time tracking function will allow you to automatically track who comes to work on time and who is constantly late. Unlike the same access control systems, it is almost impossible to deceive our system.
If you can clearly explain to a person that they are no longer counting on him, it will have an effect. Maybe this is how it will be possible to stir him up: to awaken responsibility and identify the underlying problems of procrastination and tardiness.
Kickidler employee monitoring system
Culture
Surely each of us knows at least one person who is chronically late for meetings by half an hour, or even an hour. We constantly make concessions to our acquaintances and friends because we know that they are, in essence, good people, which, however, does not explain why they fail to show up on time, and why this behavior is repeated again and again, despite frequent apologies.
It will seem to you that such people are completely irresponsible, but everything is not so simple. There are several psychological theories about this.
They only do what they like
If you're late for something, there's a chance that your brain is secretly trying to tell you that it doesn't want to do it. However, if you are late, this does not free you from the task that you do not like, it only complicates the situation, since you add slowness to all the unpleasant feelings. Solution? You should only do what you want to do.
And a little geometry: fresh spring manicure ideas with the main colors of the year
“Forgive”: how to answer a person if you don’t have the strength to forgive (and don’t take the sin on your soul)
Cake “Fruit Paradise” with mascarpone cream: a recipe for a dessert with vanilla flavor
Warnings
Being late can lead to problems in life:
The tardiness of a colleague, friend or girlfriend always causes negative emotions, irritation, and indignation. People who have planned their daily routine are forced to wait for you and put things off until later. Remember that a lost reputation is not so difficult to restore. But it's easy to shake. It is better to never spoil it with irresponsible behavior than to spend years trying to regain glory for past merits. Don’t convince yourself that no one notices your lateness except you. If no reprimand was made to you, this does not mean that this situation will be in vain.
If you want to have respect and honor among colleagues and family, then take the trouble to change yourself and improve your character traits, become punctual.
25 March 2014, 15:36
Have you ever been late? To work, to a meeting, on a date...
For 10 - 15 minutes?.. Admit it.
Well, yes, it doesn’t happen to anyone. The alarm clock didn’t work, the phone call was delayed before leaving the house, the transport failed... Of course, this can happen to anyone. And this is completely understandable and natural.
However, some are always late
. This causes a lot of trouble both to others and to themselves. At the same time, no suggestions, reproaches, threats, ending with oaths of the offender that “this will not happen again”, help. And the next time everything is repeated exactly: late - punishment - promise... Doesn’t it remind you of anything?
What if we replace “being late” with “drinking”? Exactly! It is very similar to the game of Alcoholic according to Berne, which in turn is based on the psychodramatic triangle: Victim - Persecutor - Rescuer. That is, in our case, the Victim turns out to be late, the angry boss (and/or judgmental colleagues) are the Persecutors, and the good colleagues (friends/acquaintances) who console the offender “for a good reason” are the Rescuers.
“Oh, how poor and unhappy I am! How difficult my life is! But I carry my cross and will continue to carry it!..” - our suffering hero can exclaim with pleasure after being late and the punishment that follows him.
Thus, the palm in our classification of the causes of systematic delays can safely be given to
1. Subconscious need for punishment.
The first group includes people who are in the position of Victim, hidden masochists. From childhood they learned the experience of building relationships with other people in this way. The monologue of the subconscious here could be presented in approximately the following way: “I don’t know how to receive love/recognition/attention/sympathy otherwise. Only when I behave badly, “they” swear at me, shout, beat me - this is how they express their love/indifference towards me...”
And now an adult, as a rule, completely unaware of the designated part of his “I”, and certainly not associating it with being late, continues to realize his need for punishment, always and everywhere being late.
The second reason for being late is in many ways similar to the first -
2. Need for attention.
The mechanism for the formation of this need in childhood is similar to that described above. This group of individuals differs in that it is the attention of others that is their goal. The motive for such behavior can be increased demonstrativeness, lack (or lack) of recognition by loved ones, and loneliness. For such motivated people, the sign of the attention they receive from outside is not particularly important. Plus or minus is not the point. The main thing is that “I was noticed, I found myself in the center of everyone’s attention, I get my “15 minutes of fame”, they talk about me, they discuss me, they are interested in me...”.
The next reason for being late, somewhat similar to the previous one, is
3. Need for recognition.
Here we are talking about people who are so convinced of their own uniqueness and value that they demand that society fully recognize it. By their behavior, in particular, by being late, representatives of this group seem to be saying: “I am special, I need special conditions, not the same as others, I deserve more than others...”.
Often, in the end, they achieve their goal, by stubborn delays winning for themselves the “right” to special conditions. True, if among friends and acquaintances they simply give up on such a person (knowing for sure that he never arrives anywhere on time), then in the service they risk being marked by their superiors... with a severe reprimand or dismissal.
Speaking of risk. Another reason for systematic delays can be called
4. Need for risk.
This group includes the so-called unconscious “adrenaline junkies”. “Unconscious”, because “conscious” ones climb mountains, jump with a parachute, participate in rallies, etc., etc. Or they choose a professional activity associated with danger. That is, they consciously realize their thirst for risk.
The one who only vaguely feels such a thirst, but does not allow himself to realize and realize it, dares, so to speak, on safer ground. For example, calculating your movements back to back, without allowing even a minimal amount of time for possible unforeseen circumstances. Under such conditions, delays are inevitable.
If a person is only late for work, but in his private life he is quite punctual, it is obvious that something in the service does not suit him greatly.
Then regular lateness means
5. Passive protest or desire to quit.
Let’s say an employee doesn’t like some of his working conditions, or his relationship with management in a number of aspects. But for some reason he doesn’t want to discuss this directly, to enter into an open dialogue. And this “illness” results in constant lateness to the workplace.
The same picture can be observed in a person who is forced to go to an unloved (or even hated) job. It’s scary, lazy or impossible to change it now. But going to it every day is so morally and psychologically difficult that the body requires at least some kind of respite. Hence the regular delays.
All five groups have one thing in common
. The people included in them have chosen a generally passive life position. The position of a person who is unable to express his needs; talk openly about what suits him and what doesn’t; unable to clearly and unambiguously express his feelings. They hesitate to act actively to change what they don't like, often expecting problems to resolve themselves. In short, they are not ready to take responsibility for the situation.
We draw your attention, however, to the fact that the five reasons outlined are of a subconscious nature. And the delays here are not in the nature of targeted sabotage - they are a consequence of the deeply hidden psychological need of the individual. Thus, remarks, accusations and even reprimands are unlikely to seriously improve the situation. It is most likely possible to influence these people only indirectly. So, psychocorrection gives good results.
At the same time, there are also deliberate delays. Let us briefly list their reasons.
6. "Star sickness."
A person deliberately arrives everywhere later than the appointed time, because he carries himself “to the masses” with the absolute conviction - “I am a star!” “It’s not good for a star to arrive on time. This is nonsense! The people must know their heroes. And if you didn’t know until now, then he will find out by his lateness and significant appearance.” The origins of this behavior are similar to those described in points Nos. 1 and 2. But here excessive conceit, arrogance, snobbery, etc. are mixed with the need for attention.
The last two reasons can be considered as a signal of the presence of an obvious or hidden conflict - in relationships between people or intrapersonal.
7. “Strike” or active protest
.
This group echoes No. 5 (passive protest...). The difference is that a person who is not satisfied with something in a relationship purposefully uses lateness as a measure of influence on his opponent - having failed or not having the courage to come to an amicable agreement with him.
8. Competition
.
For example, feeling internally dissatisfied with his job position, an employee demonstratively comes to work late, competing with his superiors in such an “original” way. Like, “I will come not at what time you told me, but when I myself consider it necessary.”
This often happens if a person has long grown out of his current position, but does not dare talk to management about a promotion/is afraid to take a higher position/does not dare to leave and look for another job.
It would be useful for such a “fighter” to ask himself the question: “What and why are we measuring ourselves?” It would make sense to sort out your professional ambitions, think through your career prospects and, ultimately, make an adult decision. Because, generally speaking, being late “to spite the boss” is very similar to the statement of a 5-year-old child in response to a parent’s remark: “I’m going to pee and poop in my pants!”
Due to its meaningfulness, deliberate delays are easier to correct through administrative measures. However, they are also based on psychological factors. Therefore, working with a psychologist will also help resolve the problem.
With the sincere participation of the client, of course.
Everyone knows that person: the parent who is always late because of their child; the colleague who never meets deadlines; the friend you need to tell to arrive half an hour before the appointed time. There are very few things as annoying as being late. But when you are once again waiting for a person who is late, you hardly think about the reasons, assuming that this person is simply selfish. Not the best personality characteristic, like, for example, anxiety syndrome. However, if you become familiar with the psychology of tardiness, you can look into a brain that is not functioning properly.
They plan movements without taking into account time
Many people who are constantly late look at the "estimated travel time" on their GPS and think that's how long it will take them to get somewhere. However, to arrive on time, you'll need a lot more than just getting from point A to point B. In addition to how long it takes to get where you need to go and how long it will take you to get there, you need to consider other factors that take up precious hours and minutes .
Don't leave everything until the last minute
Over time, I realized that solving important issues and completing priority tasks cannot be left until the last minute, so now I get started on them immediately. Now I have enough time to correct all possible shortcomings in my work, and then be completely calm.
Falling Behind Others: Signs You're Not Fitting in with the Office Work Culture
Geophysicists and political scientists: the least stressful professions named
How much money will Russians have to pay for caviar for the New Year: expert opinion
They use an alarm clock
Cell phones can be a distraction if you're engrossed in social media feeds or texting, but there are plenty of apps that can help you better manage your time. And you need to start with the simplest of these applications, namely the alarm clock. Don't set your alarm for when you need to be there, set it for when you need to be in the car with the keys in the ignition.
Modern youth will never understand these moments from Soviet films
Developing mindfulness: how to increase attractiveness according to science
The Central Bank named the regions of Russia with the most expensive and cheapest mortgages
You are your own worst enemy
People who tend to be constantly late have a bizarre desire to overcome themselves. In 2015, public speaker Tim Urban spoke about this. He even defined them as COLDs, or “chronically late crazy people.” Of course, there can be a large number of different reasons for being late, but the source of most of them still remains the person himself. For example, this could be the expectation that you might be late, or even paying too much attention to detail.
For Joanna, for example, the most unpleasant experience is writing school reports. “I never set a deadline and it’s like I don’t care,” she explained. “I think about the reports for many weeks and give my all in order to give a competent and competent assessment to each student. But the fact that I submit these reports later cancels out all my efforts.” Mellott, for her part, said that for some, being late is a consequence of very poor overall mental health or neurological conditions.
They think on their feet
Just because some people are always on time doesn't mean they are never late. They just know how to make up for lost time along the way. This means they know when to splurge on a taxi, or they are looking for a shortcut.
Mini braids: quick simple hairstyles for a walk or remote work
For Svetlana, he left his first wife and daughter: Valdis Pelsh’s second family (photo)
Why is it so difficult to learn to ask for help and how to overcome fear
Punctuality at work
A person with a healthy sense of punctuality will be an excellent leader and employee. However, a lot depends on the field of activity - it will be difficult for such a person in creative work. But he feels great at work, working with papers, reports, machines. For example, being a chef, he will never deviate from the technological map. A punctual person will never be late for work, but he will not be late for work and will not work on his day off.
People who are too punctual become annoying bosses and bad employees. They do not know how to deviate from rules and instructions, so it happens that they stop the process or delay the completion of tasks. In practice, you often have to be smart, deviate from the main course, and circumvent the system of rules. I think we shouldn’t even mention working with a slow or unstable schedule - punctuality will not give a person a chance to get such a position.
They respect routine
If you want to never be late, you'll need a reliable routine. It will help you become more efficient by freeing you from wasting time thinking and making decisions at every step. Instead of trying to figure out what to wear, looking for lunch in the refrigerator, and trying to find your car keys, create an evening routine in which you prepare your clothes, pack your lunch, and put your keys in the same place.
Advantages and disadvantages of punctuality
Accuracy, organization, responsibility, hard work, conscientiousness - these are the synonyms people choose for the word “punctuality”. However, everything is good in moderation. There are situations when a person becomes a slave to punctuality. For example, when careful handling of things and a love of cleanliness turns into OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Or when, due to being a few seconds late, a person is ready to walk away from a deal or take it out on a loved one.
The benefits of punctuality
This trait is highly valued in both business and personal relationships. People who are never late and don't bother meeting deadlines make a good impression on most people they know. It is impossible to list all the benefits of punctuality. However, a person who responsibly treats other people’s and his own time always receives such benefits as:
- Respect and trust of friends;
- good chances for career growth;
- complete control over your own life;
- inner peace, faith in the future;
- a high self-evaluation;
- maximum performance.
Many people consider punctuality to be a key indicator of a person's trustworthiness. And in some cultures, this trait is a mandatory requirement for business partners (the Japanese and Germans generally do not do business with people who are late for business meetings). Interestingly, the tardiness of other people irritates even those who themselves do not know how to properly manage their time.
Disadvantages of Punctuality
Undoubtedly, punctuality is very useful. It makes a person more efficient and productive, makes others respect him and provides many other benefits. But there are also some disadvantages. The most notable disadvantages of punctuality are:
- Punctual people are demanding of others, which makes them look like strict and callous bores;
- They perceive others' tardiness as a lack of self-esteem; it affects relationships and sometimes their self-esteem;
- Punctual people who clearly plan their activities may find it difficult to adapt to dramatically changing circumstances;
- In some cases, punctuality can lead to neurosis;
- A punctual person can become a despot in the family, demanding that loved ones do everything with precision.
People who know what punctuality is do not understand how you can miss a deadline or be 10 minutes late for a meeting. Even a slight delay is perceived by them as a sign of disrespect and can be perceived as a personal insult. Their ability to use time wisely and get their work done efficiently often makes them the boss. As a result, subordinates are forced to constantly work under pressure from a pedantic, dictatorial director, and this rarely contributes to a healthy work environment.
Every person can adopt some rules of punctuality for themselves.
How to overcome the habit of being late?
Diana DeLonzor
(Diana DeLonzor), an expert in the field of time management, believes that people can overcome the habit of being late much easier than the habit of overeating, although both habits have similarities. Just like those who overeat, those who are late constantly promise to change, but once again break their promise.
So what makes people follow their habits? In the case of someone who has overeaten, the consolation associated with food and its taste plays a role. For those who are late, this depends on the character traits listed above. Those looking for the fun and excitement of the chase can enjoy the rush to meet. Those who lack control and self-respect in other areas of their lives may feel more powerful knowing that others are waiting for them
. The latter situation is especially common in the professional sphere. This is a kind of passive-aggressive way to emphasize your importance. But this is just one of the possibilities.
Psychologists believe that most often this is due to low self-esteem
and lateness is the result of people thinking that they are not in control of the situation and trying to dominate it in other ways. Once a person understands why he needs this kind of control, it is easier for him to overcome the problem.
When a person understands what motivates them to be consistently late, they can work through the problem to quit the habit. You can start writing down how long your daily activities take you, set a goal to arrive at least 15 minutes early, reward yourself for arriving on time, and not overload yourself with tasks.
