Human feelings - How to control them? Psychologist's answer

This article was developed under the heading: Psychology.

Section: Feelings.

Every person is a social being. Therefore, when interacting with other people, it is common for us to experience various kinds of feelings. Each feeling that arises describes and characterizes our attitude towards something - to work, study, family, friends, a loved one. But where do feelings come from? What are feelings in general? I propose to consider together the features of these emotional processes in the human mind and body.

Each person has their own range of emotions, feelings and their manifestations

What are human feelings

Surely, a big problem for any person is the question of what feelings are and how they differ from human emotions. In fact, these are two completely different terms that are related as general and specific. It is worth starting from banal and understandable phenomena. Everyone has sense organs - sight, hearing, smell. It is with the help of them that we receive information about some equipment of the material world. A specific feeling can give rise to certain emotions in an individual. That is, feelings are the basis for the emergence of emotions. But what is the history of this term? How do psychologists define human feelings?

The term itself now has many definitions. Studying them is necessary if you really want to understand what the feeling is. Unfortunately, many in everyday understanding distort the essence and content of this concept. Let's look at the main positions on how the term “feelings” is defined in psychology:

Feelings are the results of the content of a phenomenon, based on sensory analysis, or the result of a sensory process. This definition was given in his works by Carl Jung, who discovered human personality types (extroversion and introversion)

Feelings in psychology, according to I. Kondakov, should be defined as a person’s emotional experience, which develop into a strong attitude of an individual to the world around him, people, processes

In a psychological dictionary you can find the following definition: a person’s feelings are a stable emotional attitude of an individual to surrounding phenomena, which reflects how a person relates to individual processes, taking into account his needs, character, and motives.

Thus, such a phenomenon as feelings are a complex concept that reflects our formed and stable attitude towards something. For example, our attitude towards family. In a family, relationships are built on a deep feeling of love, which reflects the attitude of family members towards each other. At the same time, sadness, disappointment, irritation, joy are separate emotions that can simultaneously act as the content of feelings.

What causes feelings in a person

So, we have determined that feelings arise as a result of a person’s persistent attitude towards the concert phenomenon. But what causes them? It is worth saying that they are based on social factors and processes, so they are caused by social actions. For example, feelings can be caused by a friend, partner, or family member. From the specific basis of occurrence, the corresponding types of feelings are distinguished, which we will consider later in this article.

Feelings have a social nature and origin, therefore they are closely related to the social connections of the individual

How are feelings different from emotions?

Emotions are also part of who we are as individuals. However, they are the elements that form our persistent feelings, for example, towards a person. In order to prevent confusion between these two psychological phenomena, let's look at how they differ from each other.

Emotions

Based on specific situations (situational) - you see a person, watch a movie, smell a smell, and all this evokes a specific emotion in you (joy, fear, hostility, anger, etc.);

They are fleeting and short-lived - an emotion that arises unexpectedly can disappear within a few minutes;

They don't change your attitude towards anything. For example, your friend was rude to you, you are offended and disappointed (these are emotions). At the same time, the person remains your friend, and you feel warm, friendly feelings towards him;

They relate more to basic human reactions - you experience, for example, fear, because this is a basic human emotion and a basic reaction to a specific stimulus;

Most often unconscious;

Feelings arise earlier - a complex of specific emotions over time forms an attitude towards a person, and, accordingly, a feeling towards him;

There is no specific subject (object) of emotions;

Common to both humans and animals

Feelings

Stable character - they have permanence, as they arise as a result of prolonged interaction with a person, object, etc.;

They persist for a long time - it is typical for such social processes that they last a long time, unlike emotions, which can disappear after 10 minutes, an hour, and so on;

Are realized by a person - the person experiences certain sensations, he is aware of these sensations, they are formed;

They have the ability to develop - one feeling can develop into another, while the object remains unchanged;

Contradictory - this is due to the fact that they are filled with emotions that can be opposed to each other (for example, “I love this person, but he makes me so angry”, “I am happy about spending time with her, but I am so sad without her” and etc.);

Arise based on emotions;

Have a specific subject - objective and defined (person, group of people);

Only people experience

The following situations can be a good example. You are standing in the corridor, and suddenly someone taps you on the shoulder from behind. You get scared and think “I was so scared!” In this case, fear or fright is an emotion. When you see a person who is behaving deviantly, suspiciously, then you think, “I am afraid of this person.” In this case, we are talking about a feeling of fear, and not about emotion. Because the next time you meet this person, you will continue to feel fear and fear towards him.

Astonishment

Surprise is our immediate reaction when we encounter something unexpected, whether it's good news like a marriage proposal or the shock of finding your feet suddenly slipping on ice. Surprise begins with being frozen or in shock, followed by an attempt to understand the new experience, then a reaction to it - all of which can take just a few seconds or a whole week of internal feelings - and then the need to share the experience with others.

Neuroscientists have discovered that surprise is stimulated by the hippocampus, the part of the brain that stores and processes memories, so we can often recall key moments from our childhood in incredible detail. Psychologists believe that this is most likely a survival instinct that helps us learn from new events and pass on this learning further.

So, surprise consists of 4 stages:

1. Freezing: We are stunned by the unexpected. This is where we often take a breath.

2. Clarification: we try to understand what happened.

3. Reality shift: surprise begins to change our picture of the future because it introduces a new element into our picture of the world.

4. The need to share: We often feel simply obliged to tell others about our new experiences.

The Incredible Benefits of Surprise

Given how short-lived the feeling of surprise is usually, you might not expect it to have much of an effect. However, researchers have discovered a few key ways to make you feel good if you're surprised:

#1: It Boosts Memory

You are more likely to remember an amazing experience than something ordinary. Because your hippocampus becomes more active when you encounter shocking information. As a result, your brain remembers more details about things that are surprising compared to things you expect.

That's why you can remember vivid details about exciting childhood experiences, but sometimes struggle and can't remember what you did last week.

#2 pleasant surprises make us happier

Because the pleasure centers of your brain are more active if you get a cool surprise. And less active if you were expecting this surprise. Therefore, we feel much happier if someone gives us something just like that, and not on a birthday or New Year, when we are already waiting for gifts. This also includes unexpected compliments from people who usually don’t give us them. And an unexpectedly warm day in the middle of winter.

#3 it adds a spark to your relationship.

When you've been with someone long enough, it's easy to fall into a rut and feel nasty boredom in the relationship. Take the time to surprise your soul mate (just don’t overdo it, I beg you, this is from personal experience)))). Do something together that you've never done before: it may feel like the early days of the relationship, when everything was new and different.

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How many feelings does a person have?

Surely, you have often wondered what exactly you feel. Did you know that in reality the types of feelings are not limited in number? And also the fact that each individual person has his own range of feelings and emotions. It is important here to separate our physiological and psychological feelings.

There are a lot of feelings of an emotional and psychological nature - it is impossible to count them with accuracy. And with physiological ones everything is more specific. At the moment, there are 9 main and basic physiological senses of a person:

1. Vision is a sensory organ that is responsible for perceiving the world around us;
2. Touch - analysis of reality through tactile sensations;
3. Smell - the perception of odors, which allow us to make an analysis in relation to a certain object of the material world;
4. Hearing – receiving information through the perception of sound;
5. Taste is the work of human taste buds;
6. Equibrioception – a person’s ability to maintain balance;
7. Thermoception is the ability of the human body to perceive temperature;
8. Nociception is the feeling of pain arising from specific stimuli;
9. Proprioception is the ability of each individual to sense himself in a specific space.

There are a large number of human social feelings

How are feelings different from emotions?

All our sensations are our experiences and relationships to the world around us. We can feel something thanks to our senses; humans have five such sensors. With their help, we receive and can analyze information from the world around us and perceive what is happening. So how many primary senses do humans actually have? Each of us has five senses, namely:

• Nose. Allows you to distinguish odors, determine the distance to its source, and navigate the area. This sense is called Smell;
• Leather. We can feel the ambient temperature, air humidity, and wind with our entire skin. Each of its cells reacts to stimuli and sends information to the brain, and we feel pain, heat or cold. This feeling is called touch;
• Ears. With their help, we can navigate space and hear what is happening around us. Hearing allows us to calculate the approximate distance from the sound source in order to react in time, for example, from falling snow from a roof or a falling tree;
• Language. It allows you to taste. The sense of taste helps to determine the degree of spoilage of food in order to consume the freshest food. Taste buds make it possible to distinguish between sour, sweet, salty, fried, and other tastes and flavors;
• Eyes. This complex biological device allows humans to see the world around them. Vision is the ability of a sighted person to receive information that enters the brain by converting electromagnetic radiation in the light range in the visual system of the body;

All the information that our brain processes comes through our senses, and then we form our perception and independent knowledge of ourselves and the world around us.

To understand how emotions differ from feelings, you need to spend a little time to study this issue well. One thing can be said, Feelings are acquired human qualities that can be developed throughout life, and emotions are embedded in our genetic code and manifest themselves from birth

For each person, the senses may be differently developed or formed. This way, some people will be able to feel more, while others will feel less. Those moments that bring us more emotional energy are stored in our memory. This can be both negative and positive manifestations. As a result, a certain emotional sensation is formed from the feelings received. Together with events, feelings can evoke in a person good or bad memories that carry a certain emotional connotation.

List of the most common human feelings

But what feelings do you and I experience almost every day? What processes in our consciousness are constant and most widespread? Let's look at the most popular of them.

Love

The feeling of love is the most common and characteristic of humans. It is characteristic of people from the moment of birth. The first such feeling and attachment arises towards parents, that is, a small child realizes closeness to his parents and relatives. It is also characteristic of us throughout our lives - love for animals, love for nature, friendly love, love for a partner. Therefore, it is multifaceted and integral to any personality.

Guilt

This already characterizes the negative manifestations of the sensual side of the individual. Feeling guilty is a normal phenomenon, the main thing is that it does not develop into psychological trauma, a problem that affects the process of socialization in society.

Feeling of fear

Throughout our lives we encounter various phenomena and people. For some we develop a strong and positive attachment. For others – fear, reluctance to communicate. This feeling arises on the basis of various factors, both social and psychological, and behavioral. For example, fear may arise based on life experience, or because a particular person behaves deviantly towards you.

Delight and joy

These are positive manifestations of our personality. When we are in good company, among friends and loved ones, we laugh, rejoice at what is happening and try to enjoy the pastime.

Confidence

It is this feeling that is the basis for the emergence of strong interpersonal connections - friendship, love, cooperation at work. Trust allows you to say that you can rely on another person. It is important that such a feeling is very easily destroyed, that is, a “loss of trust” occurs.

Each person has their own range of feelings and emotions that arise most often

What are the different emotions? Several basic classifications

All experts agree that emotions can be classified and divided into different groups depending on their particular qualities and characteristics. Although, the question of how exactly to divide emotions into groups, of course, is solved in different ways. We propose to dwell on those main features and classifications that most fully correspond to the above definitions. Here we can distinguish the following types of emotions:

Positive and negative

Of course, first of all emotions are positive

(joy, love, admiration, delight, gratitude) and
negative
(anger, rage, disgust, disappointment, sadness).
Another name for the same division of emotions by sign, by modality - positive
and
negative
.
Neutral
emotions (interest, curiosity) are also identified

Thenic and asthenic

Emotions and feelings are not only expressed differently (both externally and internally), but also have different effects on our body, affecting metabolism, blood circulation, hormone release and other physiological processes. Emotions can slow down or speed up reactions, raise/lower energy levels, and positively/negatively influence perception, alertness, and much more. According to the nature of this influence, emotions are divided into sthenic
(also known as
active
) and
asthenic
(also known as
passive
).

Stenic emotions activate life processes (give us energy, efficiency, etc.); asthenic ones, on the contrary, depress. Thus, joy allows you to forget about fatigue, gives you a feeling of lightness, good health, etc. In turn, due to sadness, we can become discouraged, our energy level drops, and fatigue sets in.

Simple and complex

Emotions are simple

and
complex
(other names for the same classification:
basic/elementary
and
compound
). Figuratively speaking, complex emotions consist of simple/basic/elementary ones. In turn, simple/basic/elementary emotions cannot be divided into smaller components.

Let us remember that this is only one version of such a classification. Thus, some experts, for example, separate the concepts of basic and elementary emotions. For them, elementary are those that cannot be divided into smaller ones, and basic are those that are characteristic of every person, regardless of his age, the culture to which he belongs, etc.

Lists of the simplest emotions, of course, also vary. For example, Descartes identifies desire, love, hatred, joy, sadness and surprise. K. Izard in his book “The Psychology of Emotions” lists 11 basic, or fundamental, emotions: guilt, anger, interest, disgust, sadness, contempt, joy, embarrassment, fear, shame and surprise. And there is such a list: anger, sadness, joy, fear, shame. Or this: disgust, sadness, joy, fear, pleasure.

As we can see, most experts identify joy as a simple emotion, while admiration or tenderness are components. Sadness is also usually seen as a basic emotion, while resentment or irritation is complex. It is interesting that in most lists there are more negative elementary emotions than positive ones.

High and low

Another type of emotions - lower

and
higher
. The lower ones are emotions aimed at satisfying the simplest needs and instincts (the joy of food or rest). While the highest ones concern intellectual, social, moral, aesthetic and other complex issues (in the broadest sense of the word, for example, admiration for a beautiful picture or pride in a child who won the school Olympiad). At the same time, there is a point of view that the highest emotions are feelings, but not everyone agrees with this approach.

Hall's Emotional Intelligence Test Will Tell You How Well You Recognize Other People's Emotions

Why is it sometimes difficult to express your feelings?

Many people have a problem with difficulty expressing what they are experiencing. Quite often this occurs in fairly closed and withdrawn people. You cannot explain to your loved one the range of your feelings and emotions. You can't express what exactly upset you. Why is this happening? There may be several reasons:

1. You are afraid of misunderstandings and quarrels. For example, you do not express how you feel because you are afraid that your friend will not understand you, or that what you say may lead to open conflict and confrontation;
2. Showing feelings and emotions is a human weakness. Such thoughts more often arise in men (sometimes due to the patriarchal way of life and upbringing). Also, the reasons for such attitudes may be the fact that a person was raised in a cold and strict family, where discussion of emotions and experiences was not encouraged. The child did not receive proper emotional support, which affected his perception in adulthood;
3. Loneliness, or fear of being alone. Many people have a distorted perception of human relationships. In their opinion, people should bring each other only positive and positive emotions. Which, as a result, causes fear that sadness, sadness, disappointment expressed to a friend will lead to total loneliness;
4. Emotional masochism. This phenomenon is quite common in the modern world. Perhaps you are the same person who likes to torture yourself, worry, and cry. This is why you are not eager to share and express your feelings.

Thoughts and attitudes imposed by your environment may be the reason why you cannot express what you are experiencing.

Joy

Joy, or happiness, is our brain's way of telling us that something is good for us: the feeling of the sun on our face, spending time with a loved one is good for us, and the brain makes us seek these sensations in the same way as sadness and disgust makes one repel everything unhealthy and dangerous.

Therefore, we decide to make peace with an old friend or re-read an old letter about feelings that are long gone....:)

When we feel joy, neurotransmitters are released: dopamine and serotonin. And when we experience joy, we bring a lot of benefits to our health. This:

• Strengthening the immune system
• Stress Reduction
• Pain reduction

How to learn to express your feelings

The ability to correctly express your thoughts and feelings is necessary. This is primarily due to the fact that this skill will allow you to build healthy relationships with other people, build strong friendships, romantic relationships and establish relationships in the family. Correct expression of feelings also helps to defend your boundaries, show your position and self-respect. But how to learn to do this? Let's look at the most important steps:

1. Try to analyze what exactly you are experiencing - write down on a piece of paper what emotions a person or event evokes in you;
2. Tell the person how you feel about him. Even if it sounds a little complicated and confusing, the main thing is to start expressing it in words;
3. If you still find it difficult to talk about feelings, keep a personal diary. You can use either a paper diary or write notes on your phone;
4. It is important to understand that you are not obligated to express only good emotions to anyone; your feelings can also be negative. It is important to accept yourself and the possibility that you are not a robot and do not owe anything to anyone;
5. Use the “I signal” model, that is, report your feelings using the following examples - “I feel fear towards you because ...”, “I respect you very much”, etc.;
6. If you are still constrained in expressing your feelings and emotions, and your own methods do not help, contact a psychologist, he will definitely find the reasons for your fear.

A psychologist can help you learn how to express your feelings correctly and not be afraid to do so.

Disgust

If I asked you to list the things that disgust you, what would you list? My list is something like this (I think yours is somewhere close):

• Vomit
• Rotten meat
• Poop

Do you feel bad now? Me too…)))

We are disgusted by things that we consider “bad,” be it rotten food or cockroaches in the bathroom. In pre-modern civilizations, the feeling of disgust was a great gift because it prevented people from eating spoiled food, getting sick and dying from it.

Each of us has our own threshold of disgust, just like our own threshold of pain that we can endure.

Psychologists have found that the more disgusting a person is with everything, the more inclined he is to judge other people. So interestingly, American researchers have discovered that the threshold of disgust is directly related to the political preferences of people in their country: conservatives, for example, are easily disgusted, but liberals can easily eat all sorts of rubbish. This is a joke (about liberals).

How to manage your feelings

Do you want to learn how to manage your feelings? Are you experiencing problems from being overly emotional? Then this section is for you.

At the moment, there are a large number of techniques that are aimed at developing control, both emotional and sensory. Let's look at the main existing control techniques.

1. It is important to understand why you feel a particular emotion or feeling. To do this, you need to understand the reasons. For example, take a piece of paper and write down exactly what you feel. Write down the reasons, reconstruct the course of events to understand where exactly the trigger is. After this, try to understand why this particular trigger caused a certain feeling;
2. After identifying the causes, try to get rid of the irritants. Especially if it is a feeling of a negative nature. For example, anger or disappointment;
3. In everyday situations when external stimuli arise, before giving vent to your emotions, try to give yourself a few minutes to “think.” For example, you were told something that really annoys you. Try to stay calm. Work this trigger conditionally in the same way as with a piece of paper;
4. Do some self-reflection. It is important to understand here that this should be a healthy analysis of one’s character and behavior, and not “soul-searching.” You must be clearly aware of your good and bad sides;
5. Determine why you want to control yourself. It is the awareness of this reason that will help you achieve quick and effective results;
6. Keep diaries.

Moderate control of feelings and emotions allows you to minimize the number of conflict situations in your life, as well as learn to listen and accept the position of another person.

List of emotions

How many emotions are there? Different psychologists and scientists will give you different answers, but the most comprehensive and accepted research on emotions still supports Robert Plutchik's theory. Plutchik proposed that there are eight basic emotions. These emotions can be expressed overtly through body language or more subtly through microexpressions.

Each emotion can be felt with different intensity (for example, frustration - anger - anger or acceptance - trust - admiration). Each of the basic emotions in Plutchik's theory has an opposite, corresponding emotion.

• Joy is the opposite of sadness
• Expectation is the opposite of surprise
• Fear is the opposite of anger
• Disgust to admiration

Suppression of feelings

Suppression of feelings is a special type of control that is aimed at making a person simply become emotionless. Before we consider methods of suppressing feelings and emotions, I would like to clarify that this can lead to harmful consequences for you and your environment. Therefore, we recommend that you weigh the pros and cons when this question arises before you.

Is it possible to learn to suppress feelings?

Yes, there are many techniques for suppressing feelings. People come to this question for many reasons, some of which are:

1. Unrequited love;
2. A loss;
3. Betrayal;
4. Constant accusations from others of being too emotional;
5. Psychological trauma.

Should you suppress your feelings?

In reality, extreme suppression of your feelings and emotions is not necessary. Firstly, it is important to always remain yourself, express yourself and your emotions. Secondly, you don’t need to convince yourself that “no one will accept an emotional person like me.” There will always be that person who will appreciate you. Thirdly, unemotionality is only a temporary measure; it is not a panacea for all problems that arise.

Therefore, the answer to the question “Is it necessary to suppress your feelings” is unequivocal - no, it is not necessary.

How to suppress your feelings

In rare and exceptional situations, you can use a short-term technique to suppress your emotional and sensual urges. This may be due to stress, overload (physical and moral), problems in life. Therefore, we can recommend two main ways to suppress feelings – psychological and medicinal.

Some people tend to minimize their feelings in a stressful situation

Psychological methods of suppression

“How to kill emotions in yourself?”, “How to completely turn off emotions and feelings?” – these are quite common questions among the population, especially in the period 14-30 years old. Before you use any methods, remember that suppression can lead to psychological problems and psychosomatics (the appearance of physiological diseases). Scientists have proven that the connection between the psychological state and the body is inseparable. In the absence of ways to release emotions, many problems can arise - headaches, migraines, blood pressure, nausea, vomiting, heart disease, etc.

So, what steps can you take to suppress your sensual side:

1. Again, an important stage is awareness of your emotions. Before you “disable” them, you will have to understand their reasons;
2. Remember that self-suppression should be done in a healthy way - do not overdo it;
3. Accept your emotional background - admit that you may experience this or that feeling, that this is normal and does not indicate your vulnerability;
4. Find a way to release your emotions. For example, you like to draw - draw and depict your feelings on a piece of paper;
5. Find a place where you feel safe, which will allow you to talk and talk to yourself about the interrupted emotional experience without remorse;
6. Keep diaries. Diaries are a good way of control; in them you can learn about the reasons and direct methods of suppressing yourself;
7. Keep yourself busy. Have you been wanting to make a change for a long time? Want to do some spring cleaning? Maybe you have long dreamed of playing sports on a regular basis? Then it's time for this. Try to keep yourself busy so that unnecessary thoughts do not distract you;
8. Engage in reflection - this is a really effective way to understand yourself and what you feel about yourself and other people;
9. Maintain emotional distance from all people. Do not allow yourself to be frank, become attached, or depend on anyone;
10. Meditation can also be a good and effective method;
11. Do these 10 techniques over a long period of time so that this emotional distancing becomes a habit.

To control emotions and feelings, you need to keep diaries - record your condition daily

Medicinal methods of suppression

There is no cure called “Switching off emotions” because it is not possible on a pharmacological level. However, some remedies help dampen their intensity.

You should not use any medications without a doctor's prescription. Be careful what you use and in what doses.

There are several groups of drugs that can reduce the intensity of feelings and emotions:

1. Nootropics;
2. Neuroleptics;
3. Antidepressants;
4. Tranquilizers.

All these drugs must be prescribed by a doctor. They are dangerous in overdoses. For the most part, a psychotherapist can prescribe a drug to you if he believes that your emotional state can only be normalized with the help of it. For example, antidepressants are often prescribed. But this is also not a panacea, since all drugs have a long “Withdrawal” period.

At the end it says

We now know how many basic senses humans have and how they can help people feel. In addition, we figured out what emotions are and how feelings relate to them. It is quite difficult to count the exact number of emotions and feelings, since there are a large number of them. Some say that there are only 5 of them. Some people think that there are more than 15, and others cannot decide on the number at all, thinking that there are many more of them. But, based on scientific research, we can safely say that there are 5 main organs. They allow us humans to feel. Although there are some contradictions on this issue, these are just modern assumptions.

How to understand them

To never make a mistake when classifying two concepts, imagine a control panel with many buttons. Each initiates a process that is predictable, inevitable, and reversible. The mechanism is simple: they turn on the stimulus and get an emotional reaction. Even a baby who has barely learned to hold his head can understand it. Mom smiles at him, which means he’s doing well, and a reciprocal smile will appear on his face; she knitted her eyebrows and raised her voice - he would cry, he was scared and offended.

Awareness of your mood is often quite simple. We are able to explain why we are worried. Feelings are more difficult to explain. They are like a background onto which emotionality is projected. He is able to combine love and anger, joy and pain, melancholy and tenderness.

At any moment we can stop and understand what we feel, where this experience comes from, and what it is connected with. To do this, it is important to correctly express thoughts in words, to be able to describe the process of brain activity and the causes of your condition as accurately as possible. If you don’t listen to yourself, you can get a bunch of mental disorders ranging from psychosis to severe depression.