Female infidelity is a big stress for both spouses. The relationship between a man and a woman goes through a large number of tests over time, after which they either become even stronger or are destroyed forever. One of these tests may be infidelity on the part of one of the spouses. In this article, we will look at the main reasons for a wife’s infidelity, how to forgive a wife’s infidelity and how this will affect a man.
We tell you why female infidelity happens
Why does my wife cheat?
As you know, representatives of the fairer sex are on average more emotional than men. According to most women, the main reason for cheating is the lack of attention from the spouse and lack of understanding. All this leads to moral rejection of the partner, and the woman seeks attention and satisfaction on the side. For example, the cause may be male alcoholism, due to which a man pays little attention to his significant other.
It is very important to distinguish moral betrayal from physical betrayal. When the cause is dissatisfaction in bed. For a wise man, coping with such a problem is many times easier and accepting such betrayal is much easier.
Also, betrayal can be forced. This situation can happen to a boss: when, under the threat of dismissal, a woman is forced to satisfy his wishes. Or the boss pays the woman extra for sexual pleasures, while the wife is not satisfied with her husband’s salary and thus tries to solve the family’s financial problems. Whether it is worth forgiving a girl’s betrayal in this situation is a moot point.
Why can a wife cheat?
Why you can’t forgive a woman’s infidelity
Should you forgive your wife's infidelity? Many people say that any betrayal can be forgiven if you love a woman. However, as practice shows, this is not entirely true. In what cases can a woman’s infidelity not be forgiven? For some men, a relationship with a cheater is impossible on principle, even if the woman cheated in the name of the family. It is also unclear to many how to forgive their wife’s betrayal and move on with their lives. Rather, it depends on the man himself, because often after this a person loses trust in his partner, which is very difficult to regain. Each time the husband will imagine someone else next to his wife and compare himself with his competitor. This may be the reason for not forgiving a woman’s infidelity. The main question is, is it even possible to forgive a wife’s betrayal?
Husbands and wives may have different perceptions of infidelity. If the wife does not admit her guilt and does not repent for her actions, then it is very likely that the spouses have different views on family life. And here the question is whether the spouses are ready to put up with each other’s different views on life.
Why can you forgive your wife's betrayal?
As you know, relationships are a lot of work for both. And the question often arises: is it possible to forgive a wife’s betrayal? If a man loves his other half very much and is not ready to give up the relationship because of fleeting attractions or, moreover, allow it to destroy the family, he can forgive the betrayal. How to forgive your wife's betrayal in this case? The answer is simple - you should treat your loved one with understanding.
Moreover, adultery can become the very test that will strengthen the relationship between a man and a woman and force spouses to pay more attention to each other.
How does a wife's betrayal affect a man?
How to find out
Most often, women try to determine by their man’s behavior that he has begun to cheat. But sometimes representatives of the stronger half of humanity try so hard to hide it that the spouses simply do not realize it.
However, there are certain signs that a man is cheating. The psychology of the behavior of an unfaithful spouse is manifested in the following:
- he stays late at work (although this is not always an indicator);
- set a password on his phone (which means he has something to hide from his wife);
- began to pay a lot of attention to his appearance and clothes (including underwear);
- he constantly talks on the phone and says that they are calling him at work (but the voice on the phone is heard as female);
- changed the password on social networks;
- the husband, who was very domestic, suddenly began to have constant business trips;
- he spends all his time on the phone;
- he is not interested in the lives of his children and wife;
- began to give gifts to his wife for no reason;
- traces of lipstick on the jacket and shirt (this is an obvious sign that the husband has a mistress);
- became very passionate or, on the contrary, very cold in bed and refuses intimacy with his wife.
Of course, all people are different, and a man’s mood may change not because he has someone. There may be problems at work, or he is simply tired and needs to rest. Therefore, you should not take everything literally.
What do men think about?
Female infidelity is a betrayal, a strong blow to a man and his pride. The news of a girl's infidelity is almost always unexpected and very painful. Is it worth forgiving a girl's betrayal? After all, the man feels that a replacement has been found for him, he has been humiliated and betrayed. At such moments, a man often has thoughts:
- “Is it possible to forgive your wife’s betrayal?”
- “How to forgive your wife’s betrayal and move on?”
- “Why can’t you forgive a woman’s infidelity?”
and many others.
There is only one piece of advice - you should wait until the emotions subside, and then move on to negotiations.
First, you should listen to the man, the woman will understand what her betrayal means to her husband and then it will become clear whether there is any hope of saving the relationship or not. If the husband has forgiven his wife for his betrayal, the latter needs to make a lot of effort to regain trust.
What is the difference between male and female infidelity
Signs of female infidelity
Each girl is individual, but the signs of female infidelity are easy to recognize.
These include the following situations:
- The spouse constantly has urgent matters outside the home or the boss asks her to stay late at work. When the fact of deception is exposed, there is no need to start a quarrel. First, you need to try to have a heart-to-heart talk, find out the reasons that pushed the cheater to take this step. Sometimes a calm dialogue will help explain the girl’s motives and come to mutual understanding. But this works when partners want to maintain the union. If a man himself dreams of divorce, such an act will become an extra trump card.
- A woman periodically comes home with flowers, explaining their appearance as a gift from a friend or a corporate party. Such arguments should be met with suspicion. But this is not a concrete sign of his wife’s betrayal, so it is necessary to calmly understand the situation.
- The reason to suspect your spouse will be the smell of someone else's eau de toilette. More than 90% of men use good perfume. However, there is a possibility that the girl spilled perfume on herself from a store window; there is no fault on her other than carelessness.
- The wife shows unusual tenderness towards her husband. This looks suspicious if she was previously cold in terms of showing feelings. On the other hand, there is a logical explanation for such behavior: the missus could not have taken a lover, but simply decided to diversify the life of the family. This option is unlikely, but there is no evidence to the contrary.
There is another possible way to identify an unfaithful wife: she could reveal herself by texting with friends or making entries in a diary. You need to be extremely careful when examining your beloved’s mail, leafing through your diary, poking through your phone’s memory, looking for hints of treachery.
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For a companion, such behavior will be a mortal insult.
Before cheating on the woman you love, you need to remember that she can do it more gracefully. Do you know what's the saddest thing about cheating? That you can't forgive. (Rinat Valiullin, “Every silence has its own hysteria”)
Even if the suspicions are not justified, the relationship will be doomed, since there will no longer be room for trust and forgiveness within it.
The difference between male and female infidelity
Many psychologists say that the motivations for cheating in men and women are often very different. Is it possible to forgive a girl's betrayal? Probably depending on the circumstances. Thus, men cheat more often out of physiological desire than from having loving feelings for a girl; they lack sexual satisfaction at home and therefore decide to fill the need on the side.
However, social factors may also play a role here. Namely, a man’s status in society is often determined by the presence of an expensive car, apartment, etc. Among this list, a man may also have a mistress. In this case, a woman should simply either come to terms with this or end such a relationship, because you cannot change a person by force without his desire to change himself.
Husband found out about his wife's cheating
Reasons why women cheat2
Women, as a rule, are pushed into cheating by their deep grievances against their husband and lack of mutual understanding in the family. But not every woman will cheat. Most often, the cause of betrayal is a woman’s depressed psychological state or a temporary outburst of deep emotions that cannot be restrained.
This can happen to a woman who experiences anger, depression, melancholy, and despair. With the help of betrayal, she can increase her sense of self-worth, prove to herself and others that someone can like her and love her. And also, with the help of retaliatory betrayal, women try to take revenge on their husbands for his betrayal.
What to do if your husband finds out about cheating
If the fact of betrayal is already known, making excuses and saying: “I didn’t want to” is not the best idea. The fact of betrayal is there and it is undeniable. Questions hover in a man’s head: “Is it worth forgiving betrayal?” “How to forgive betrayal and move on?”, and “How to forgive your wife’s betrayal and save your family?”
Try to put yourself in his place. Imagine that your husband cheated on you. Think about how you would feel at this moment? In my practice, there were several cases when a man cheated in response, so that his wife would feel the same.
As was written earlier, you should wait until the first emotional outburst has passed, and then calmly discuss this with your spouse. Should a man forgive a girl’s betrayal? This is a question for a man. It is important for a woman to understand for herself the reason for her betrayal and whether she wants to live with an unloved person. If the reason is a fleeting attraction and a woman, despite this, loves and appreciates her husband very much, she should treat him with understanding and put herself in her husband’s place. Explain to him the reason for her betrayal and admit her guilt.
If a man has forgiven his wife for his betrayal, then she will have to win the trust of her beloved again. This is a long journey that spouses overcome together.
Ways to overcome the consequences of betrayal if the marriage was saved
If the marriage can be saved, the woman returns to her husband, the couple needs serious psychological help. After all, feelings of guilt can lead to severe depression. With the help of proven psychotherapeutic techniques, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin will help his wife overcome remorse for what she has done and help the man regain self-respect.
In order for the deep wounds from betrayal to heal, the wife should be as frank as possible. At a therapy session or alone with her husband, a woman must honestly admit everything and ask for forgiveness. It is very important that the lady explains the motives for her actions and tells how long the betrayal lasted. Then gradually the husband will again begin to trust his other half.
Psychologists advise the reconciled couple to conduct a symbolic ritual of farewell to the past. At some memorable place (for example, next to the wedding palace or temple where the couple got married), they need to burn a piece of paper with the inscription “treason”, then re-swear an oath of fidelity to each other. This will definitely be remembered and will bring back good memories. Also, the couple needs to organize a “remake” of the honeymoon, go on a honeymoon again in order to forget the past, and start a relationship with a clean slate.
How to forgive your wife for cheating - Advice from a psychologist
The path to reconciliation after betrayal, as in many other family quarrels, lies through the ability to talk and hear your interlocutor. Therefore, it is very important to respect your other half, not interrupt, and begin negotiations only after the first emotions have cooled down.
Very often, in order to establish a dialogue between a couple, a psychologist is needed. After all, no matter how terrible it is, for many couples it is very difficult to discuss their problems constructively. In this case, the help of a psychologist is needed so that everyone can speak out without interrupting their partner.
And then there is a discussion: identifying the reasons for the betrayal and finding compromises. Should you forgive your wife's infidelity? The advice of a psychologist in this case may be unnecessary. Since the reason for betrayal can be quite deep, even after a serious conversation, the couple’s family life will change significantly. Both must be prepared for this. How to forgive betrayal? The difficulty lies in restoring trust in a partner; action is required on both sides. For example, spouses agree to pay more attention to each other or make attempts to diversify their family and sexual life: to bring into them the former romance and passion.
How to forgive your wife for cheating - advice from a psychologist
Cheating through the eyes of a woman
According to psychologists, adultery causes an imbalance between ingrained principles and their violation. For this reason, an unfaithful girl wants to justify herself to herself. This situation can be compared to a pacifist going to war: he is disgusted by murder, but he has no other choice. This forces you to either dramatically change your value system or find an excuse for yourself. Thus, by finding a compromise, it will be possible to pacify the pangs of conscience. The soldier is helped by patriotic songs, posters, and the support of his comrades, while the girl seeks peace by delving inside her psyche.
Methods of self-justification:
- The husband deserves it. Taking sides is not a crime, but it introduces a certain cognitive dissonance between thoughts and actions, betrayed by the psyche. An unfaithful wife often justifies her behavior by saying that her husband is not worthy of her and deserves such treatment. The pangs of conscience subside, and then the spouse begins to search for the next partner.
- Sharing personal life. There are often cases when ladies console themselves by dividing their personal lives into two parts: one for the family, the second for their lover. When this becomes a habit, a woman tries to please all participants in the triangle, which justifies herself. True, this method is not very clearly expressed among the female audience; it is rather characteristic of husbands.
- Self-hypnosis. Trying to find peace of mind, the cheater labels herself a “bad girl” and begins to convince herself that she is not yet ready to bear responsibility for her actions. This inner revelation is often the result of poor upbringing, a difficult childhood, and a bad example set by parents.
Female infidelity through the eyes of a man looks immoral, vile and even unnatural.
A person who abuses trust and betrays love emotions, plunging a weak being into tears of despair, is, in my opinion, a scoundrel and a scoundrel. (C. Nodier)
When a girl takes such a step, she wants her life principles to coincide with her actions, fearing panic, emptiness and mental anguish.
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Such dissonance sometimes turns into prolonged apathy, often leading to suicide.
Why is betrayal forgiven?
There are many reasons why many couples, even after cheating, still keep their family together. The main reason is love for your soulmate. Many forgive betrayal because they are not ready to lose a loved one because of fleeting hobbies. Most men are puzzled by how to forgive their wife’s infidelity and save their family. The answer lies in mutual understanding and restoration of mutual trust.
However, whether to forgive his wife’s infidelity is the choice of every man. And the woman in this case must accept any decision of her husband.
Why men forgive infidelity
Why are women more likely to forgive infidelity than men?
Cheating on a spouse is a painful phenomenon for both men and women. However, as practice shows, society treats male and female infidelity differently.
Public opinion says that a woman who has forgiven betrayal is wise and managed to save her family, and a man who has forgiven betrayal is henpecked and a cuckold.
However, it is worth understanding that such social attitudes are a relic of the past and the main thing that should worry a man is his attitude towards his woman. Is it worth forgiving your wife’s infidelity because of this? The advice of a psychologist suggests that public opinion is the last thing you should pay attention to.
How to understand and forgive betrayal
Ways to find out if a woman is cheating
It is difficult for a woman to hide her own feelings. Most often, the lady admits everything or gives herself away. The cheating spouse sits for a long time in front of the mirror, starts going to aerobics and fitness again, and constantly tries to look good. Not only in your own eyes, but also in the eyes of your lover.
Also, the unfaithful woman begins to find fault with things that she previously tolerated (dishes unwashed by her husband, scattered clothes). Or vice versa: he completely stops paying attention to his spouse’s shortcomings, as if the spouse is not at all interested. An unfaithful wife becomes emotionally and sexually cold. Avoids any physical contact (even simple hugs).
When a spouse is sure that his wife is cheating or his wife has admitted everything, it is very important to decide what to do next. They should talk honestly about the future together. Of course, a couple who finds themselves in such a difficult situation needs the help of psychologists. Experts will help you decide whether it is worth saving the relationship, or whether love has already completely faded away, and therefore it is better to get a divorce calmly without unnecessary dramas or scandals.
