An introverted child: how to understand him and raise him correctly

Introverted child: Character traits

Introverts are people who do not need others to replenish their mental energy.
They get nourishment from sleep, spiritual food (music, films, art) and can easily do without communication for a long time. Energy is directed inward, towards one’s own feelings and experiences. There are obvious introverts among children. To correctly select parenting methods, parents need to know what type their child has. You can notice the traits of an introvert at a very early age, even in the first year of life.

Here are some telltale signs of an introverted child:

• Such children are not inclined to communicate with peers. Sometimes this can even be a burden to them. They treat loneliness normally and don’t worry about it.
• If the child is very young, he may refuse to be held by strangers. Also, most likely, he will burst into tears if there is too much attention from the crowd, for example, at a holiday.
• Lack of communication breeds insecurity. Such children are also overly touchy.
• They get tired quickly at public events and ask to go home throughout the holiday.
• Often creative individuals. They have a vivid imagination and draw well. They can spend a long time doing this activity, even alone.

If you notice such traits in your child, you should not sound the alarm. These are mental characteristics and are not a deviation.

A child who does not run to play in a crowd of children, but spends time with toys, most likely does not need a huge amount of communication; he is interested in himself. This is normal, and you shouldn’t push him out onto the playground with the kids if the baby doesn’t want it. When under pressure, an introverted child may withdraw into himself

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Is it possible to change from an introvert to an extrovert?

Introverted children and extroverted children, what are they?

Many people are confident that they understand exactly the difference between an introvert and an extrovert. One is shy and withdrawn, the other is sociable and cannot imagine life in silence. However, once you delve a little deeper into the theory, you realize that this characteristic is completely superficial.

Little extroverts

Such children are ready to spend whole days in the arms of their parents; they are interested in looking at guests and “communicating” with everyone. They constantly babble something, and when it’s time to go to kindergarten or school, they need to tell everything that happens to them during the day, share their ideas, experiences and plans for tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. It seems that they are ready to follow you around the house all day and just chat. This is how they get energy. The more listeners they have, the more places they visit, the better and more cheerful they feel.

Since such children take up all the time and energy from their parents, their siblings may feel abandoned and unloved. Fortunately for parents, little extroverts have many friends with whom they are always happy to play.

Konstantin is an extrovert. He absorbs his mother's energy. If he is deprived of attention, he will become nervous because of the “dead battery.” To restore his mood, it is enough to allow him to recharge a little.

Little introverts

Such children quickly get tired at family holidays. After some time, they get tired of the excessive attention of their grandparents, and they begin to be capricious. On his own birthday, such a child can easily go to his room, leaving the guests.

Being already a schoolchild, an introverted child does not need the noisy company of peers. He usually only has two or three friends, but he communicates with them for many years.

An introvert can spend a long time doing something and not need to communicate with others. And before sharing a problem, he will think carefully about everything ten times.

Such children simply need to be alone. This is how they recover after a day at school, a competition or an excursion. Interestingly, introverts are not necessarily reserved and modest individuals. They can easily find common language with other people, but after intense communication, the only thing they really want is to come home and be alone. It is very important to understand the need of an introverted child to be alone and sometimes leave him alone.

Evgeniy is an introvert. You can't call him closed. At the same time, in order to extract information from him, you have to ask a lot of questions. He just prefers to carefully “chew” problems within himself before sharing them with others. Evgeniy, unlike his younger brother, regains his strength by spending time alone. And if he doesn’t receive it, he becomes irritable.

Introverted child: How to raise?

Introverted children are often silent and keep everything to themselves, but if they can trust a person, they become interesting conversationalists and attentive listeners. They are calm, and thanks to their perseverance, they achieve academic success more easily than extroverts.

• New acquaintances cause stress in introverted children. Therefore, parents should prepare their introverted child in advance for changes in environment
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• Parents should treat such a child more carefully
  . If you are planning a trip to an unfamiliar place, it makes sense to tell your child about the upcoming event and discuss who he might meet there. Tell why friendship is needed and how beautiful it is.
• Introverted children are in dire need of personal space
  . Parents must respect the child’s desire to have a secluded corner where he can be alone with himself and his thoughts. You should also be careful with your baby’s personal belongings. They mean a lot to such a child.
• It is also important at first to help the child communicate with other people until he has acquired the ability to find a common language. It may be necessary, for example, to take the baby to other children on the playground and introduce them.
• You should not force a child to speak when he wants to remain silent
  . Introverts restore vital energy by being inside themselves. And they spend it interacting with people. Therefore, it is quite possible that when returning from a noisy holiday, the baby will be silent and will not rush to talk about his impressions. This should not be confused with sullenness. Reluctance to talk does not mean that the child had a bad day, he just spent too much energy, and now he needs to restore it.
• An introverted child does not immediately get used to new situations
  . You need to respect his desire to get comfortable in a new team or environment. When you come to visit, let him play a little on the sidelines if there are a lot of unfamiliar children in the company. Once he gets used to it, he will blend into the atmosphere. The main thing for the mother is not to apply pressure during such “suspension.”

Without proper moral rest, communication brings unpleasant feelings to introverted children and exhausts them.

How to identify: signs

Before assigning a child to a certain temperament, it is advisable for parents to study their signs.

The fact is that there are pure introverts or extroverts, and it happens that much more often, there is a mixture of these types, a shift more in one direction or the other.

Introverted child:

1. Avoids eye contact . This is especially true with strangers. They don’t particularly like new contacts, so they subconsciously try to isolate themselves from this. This is how they protect themselves from fears, other people’s assessments of themselves, and the need to say something.
2. If an introverted child is very tired , then he is capable of throwing a tantrum. This happens not because of a capricious disposition, but because the nervous system cannot cope with the load.
3. The child behaves quietly , prefers to communicate with toys and himself. He does not run around the store, does not attract attention, but stands calmly next to adults.
4. He has a developed imagination , so he is not bored playing alone.
5. An introverted child has few friends, but all of them are trusted, those whom he trusts.
6. Refuse to try something new . Change frightens them, especially those that involve interactions with other people.
7. At a children's party, such children prefer to be in the crowd rather than perform in front of everyone.
8. They weakly express their emotions externally or do not express them at all. The child may seem indifferent , although in fact he is very worried inside himself.

Modesty

Today you can see children participating in various beauty contests, TV shows, etc. This is caused by parental vanity and the influence of show business and television on our lives. However, introverted children will never participate in the struggle of ambition. They do not need spotlights and worldly fame. They prefer the role of a spectator, but not an actor at all. With excessive interest in oneself, such a child may even develop physical illness. And this despite the fact that in a certain environment and in the appropriate mood, he will be glad to have someone else’s attention.

Creative focus

Introverted children are capable of thinking outside the box. And this is considered a clear sign of creative abilities. This is confirmed by the large number of musicians, actors, dancers, artists and writers who are introverted by their personality type.

It is quite simple to explain this fact. The fact is that a creative person looks at the world around him, imagining it in the form of a huge mosaic. By putting its parts together in his own way, he manages to create something unusual, new and original.

High level of emotional intelligence

Introverted children are very aware of their own feelings. However, parents often cannot understand this due to the delay in their children’s emotional reaction. In any situation, such a child seems cold, calm and indecisive. However, in fact, he just takes a pause, which is necessary for him in order to deal with the feelings and thoughts that have arisen, understand the essence of what is happening, think about it and develop the necessary reaction, taking into account the possible consequences of his actions. Introverted children begin to reason very early, and are sometimes considered wise beyond their years. Understanding a lot, they are usually able to empathize with other people.

Love of learning

Little introverts have a genuine thirst for knowledge. However, being surrounded by active and noisy classmates, it is quite difficult to show this to them.

It is much easier for students with this psychological characteristic. After all, the education system adopted at universities best suits their characteristics. Most introverts are good at expressing their thoughts and often keep a personal diary secretly from others. As a rule, such people love to read and get great pleasure from it. They also like to listen to what is written by various authors. There is a constant, ongoing dialogue in their minds, and the information they learn is compared with their own opinions and reactions.

The ability to enjoy the little things

The peculiarity of an introverted child lies in the fact that he knows how to “smell roses.” In other words, such children enjoy the present, appreciate the little things and will not pass by anything without examining everything on the object, even the smallest details.

Often such children find interesting activities for themselves without even leaving home. They are happy because of the leisurely pace of life and the existence of simple pleasures.

Masters of meaningful conversation

Despite their reticence in a group, introverts are natural conversationalists. They are considered excellent listeners. At the same time, such children are straightforward and reliable. Peers trust their taciturn friends completely. During a conversation, you can only hear important questions from an introvert. They will never interrupt the interlocutor or make insightful comments to him. In addition, people with this type of character always remember what others told them, and are literally able to understand a hint at a glance.

Tendency to adopt healthy habits

An extroverted child and an introverted child behave completely differently in life. The first of them is simply not able to slow down its rapid pace in order to regain strength. But introverts don’t burn out so quickly. The thing is that they, as a rule, are in no hurry. This is one of the reasons for the longevity of such people. Their health is helped by maintaining such character traits as lack of vanity and honesty, flexibility of thinking and perseverance, consistency and reliability. In this case, their life principle is also important, according to which they think first, and then act.

What difficulties may arise?

The first thing parents and educators need to do is try to understand the child.

Isolation and fear prevent the expansion of social contacts.

Children may be afraid to speak in front of the whole class , which causes certain problems.

When applying punishment, it is important to consider that an introverted child will swallow the insult and leave the emotions inside himself.

It may seem to you that he has not learned his lesson, but in fact, trust in his parents has been undermined, and the next time something happens, the son or daughter simply will not talk about it, for fear of condemnation .

Such children are often silent, and it is difficult to get an answer or talk about their experiences from them.

Rich Inner Life

An introverted child in kindergarten and later, when he becomes a schoolboy, is well aware that he has his own world that belongs only to him. That is why such children do not look back at others. In all their endeavors, introverts rely only on their own internal resources, guided by personal ideas. This allows them to be stable, withstanding any external pressure. An introverted child in most cases does not succumb to the herd mentality and always strives to find out the essence of things. Self-absorption is the source of strength for such children. They not only strive to know themselves, but also want to know what motivates other people.

Reliable friends

Introverts are understanding and compassionate, caring and loyal. All this, as well as their ability to listen to their interlocutor, makes such people simply invaluable friends.

Getting along with another person is not easy for an introvert. However, if this happens, then the relationship created will be long and strong. Introverts do not have a tendency to conflicts and competition, which can destroy children's friendships. Such a child has few friends, but he values ​​them very much.

Advice from psychologists to parents

It is important for parents to understand that it is not easy for their child to find a common language in a group. It is even more difficult if parents do not see the inclinations of their son or daughter and force them to be “like everyone else.” This often happens when extroverted parents have not identified the introverted nature of the child.

Parents need to know what positive character traits are often inherent in an introverted personality:

• perseverance;
• non-conflict;
• attention;
• concentration;
• out-of-the-box thinking;
• a penchant for creative pursuits;
• desire to learn.